


The Vast Thing

by SloanGreyMercyDeath



Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Astronomy, F/F, Gen, Gross, Homophobia, Kissing, MMA, Mommy Issues, Racism, Root is into Aliens, Science Bowl, Slow Burn, Unconditional fucking love, Underage Kissing, girl/boy kisses, ham radio, like so slow, long descriptions of lingering eyes, more trains than originally expected
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-03 14:25:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 62
Words: 220,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11534097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SloanGreyMercyDeath/pseuds/SloanGreyMercyDeath
Summary: Shoot High School AUWhere these nerds grow up together and become adults that attract fewer bullets.Inspired by this post:https://hufflepufflovespizza.tumblr.com/post/162986659626/spicycheeser-quenenie-shoot-au-where-they





	1. A Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I just want them to be happy.
> 
> The name comes from Root's line in 3x02 'Nothing to Hide': The truth is a vast thing.

Root clutched the tall rocket to her chest, feeling her backpack’s straps slide down her shoulders. She’d been carrying her project around all morning, trying to get it to Earth/Space in one piece. Mr. Ingram had told her that she needed to prove her dedication before he’d let her join the Science Bowl team.

Root squatted awkwardly, her knees sticking out, and put the rocket’s fins on the floor. It was almost as tall as she was and Root thought that Mr. Ingram would be impressed. She’d spent all weekend on it and it would launch if she lit the fuse. She pulled her straps back onto her shoulders and wiped her forehead.

They were just over a month into the school year and Root was already ready for high school to be over. Bishop was such a small town that everyone in her freshman class knew her from middle school. There was no escape for Samantha Groves, not that anyone called her that. It was usually “Nerd” or “Loser.”

Root was determined to be the best in her classes, despite her outcast status. She didn’t need friends to be successful. Unfortunately, she was only second in her class at the moment. Principal McCarthy wouldn’t tell her who was at the top. She was probably nervous that Root would force them to do poorly.

Root sighed and picked her rocket up, her long arms wrapping around the cool metal tube. Principal McCarthy was always trying to limit her. She started towards her class again. This was the tricky part of her walk.

Every day, between 2nd and 3rd period, she crossed paths with Sameen Shaw. Sameen had only moved to town recently, but she seemed fully committed to making Root’s life a living hell. Ever since Root had made the mistake of smiling at her on the first day of school, Sameen had been nothing but mean to her.

Root looked down the hall, groaning when she saw Sameen and her brother, John, coming towards her. She held the rocket closer and stared straight ahead. Maybe if she ignored Sameen, Root could walk away with her rocket intact.

As they passed, Root couldn’t stop herself from glancing over. Sameen was eyeing the rocket, her face unreadable. She stopped next to Root, reaching a hand out to touch, but Root jerked away.

Sameen’s eyes snapped to Root’s face and she scowled. She jumped forward and Root stumbled backwards, surprised. She managed to keep hold of her rocket and glared at Sameen until she smirked and turned away. Watching as she jogged to catch up with John, Root rolled her eyes.

She didn’t have time for this. Sameen needed to grow up. Root was too focused on her future to worry about losers like her. Root was going to be a scientist, invent the first AI, and join NASA.

Root hurried into class and set her rocket next to Mr. Ingram’s desk. He took his glasses off, looking impressed.

“Wow,” he said, appraisingly, “This looks great. Is it functional?”

“Yes.” Root grinned, tucking her thumbs into the straps of her backpack. “Fully functional. I think it could even go a mile up!”

“Amazing, Miss Groves.” Nathan smiled at her. “I’ll tell you what. We’re having a club meeting on Friday. Why don’t you sit in?”

“Sure!”

He held his hand up. “I can’t promise anything, but if the club votes yes, you can sit in on our meetings. Only juniors and seniors can compete, you know that, but there’s nothing against a freshman sitting in.”

Root nodded enthusiastically, her blonde hair bouncing against her shoulders. “I’ll be there!”

Root turned to walk to her desk, ignoring the looks on her classmates’ faces. She was not going to let anyone ruin her good mood.

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Root glanced over at Sameen, nervously. Luckily, they were on the same volleyball team this period. Root wasn’t very athletic, but she could hold her own in PE class. Unless she was against Sameen. Sameen was an athletic prodigy. An athletic prodigy who wouldn’t stop looking at Root.

Sameen glanced over her shoulder and Root looked away quickly. She wouldn’t put it past her to sabotage the game just to hurt Root. Sameen turned her attention back on the other team. Sighing, Root smiled, grateful to survive another encounter.

“You good, Root?” Joss asked her from her position as middle blocker. She was always team leader and she always let Root take the outside position, as far from the action as possible.

“Yeah, thanks.” Root smiled at her and faced forward, glaring at Sameen’s back.

“Alright. Just try and stay back. We’ll protect you.”

Root looked across her as Zoe gave her a thumbs-up from Joss’ other side.

Root laughed and gave her a thumbs-up back. She wasn’t really close to Zoe and Joss, they were a year ahead of her, but they were always nice. They’d even invited her to a party once, but she had turned them down. There’d been a comet passing over that night and she needed the time to set up her telescope.

Zoe spiked the ball.

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Root rested her arms on her open book. She was so glad the day was almost over. Unfortunately, she had English last period and The Count of Monte Cristo was not thrilling enough to hold her attention. Root felt her eyes droop and stifled a yawn.

Mrs. Hendricks was a nice teacher. Not great at keeping everyone in line, but she cared about what they were reading and always tried to be nice. She was married to Mr. Finch, the math teacher. Root liked that she’d kept her own last name.

Root sat back in her chair and yawned again. She glanced at the clock. Only 15 minutes left and then she could leave. She had to run to the store on her way home and restock her food supplies. Her mom had actually come home yesterday and Root had managed to steal 30 bucks.

Mrs. Hendricks turned to face the class. “Wait and Hope. That’s the author’s message. Thoughts? Anyone agree or disagree?”

Mrs. Hendricks smiled over the classroom. Root dropped her eyes to her lap, hoping she wouldn’t get called on to answer. She hadn’t bothered to finish reading the book.

“Sameen? How about you?” Mrs. Hendricks said.

Root glanced across the room to look at Sameen. She giggled at Sameen’s face. She obviously hadn’t expected to be called on.

“Oh, uh,” Sameen looked down at her empty desk and shrugged. “I think…that waiting and hoping is stupid and everyone should go after what they want.”

Mrs. Hendricks’ smile faltered, but she recovered. “Ok, well, that’s a good attitude to have. Personally, I’m still waiting and hoping that you will actually read the books I assign, but oh well.”

The class laughed as Sameen glowered, busted. Root rolled her eyes and closed her book, very glad that she hadn’t been chosen to speak. Sameen’s answer was vague, but Root wasn’t sure she’d have been able to say anything at all.

She pulled her bag into her lap and started packing her things away. The room grew louder as everyone followed suit, ignoring Mrs. Hendricks’ protests.

“You can go,” Mrs. Hendricks sighed. “Remember, our test is tomorrow. We’re starting the Odyssey next, so bring your textbooks!”

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Root slowed her bike in front of the Stop and Shop and put her foot down. This was the only grocery store in town. You could buy food at the Dollar General, but Root didn’t count that.

She lifted her leg over the seat and walked it to the rack, sliding it between the rusting poles. She didn’t bother locking it, just unbuckled her helmet and hung it from the handlebar. She squinted up at the sky as she walked into the store. It looked like it was going to rain.

“Hello, Will,” Root said, waving as she grabbed a basket, “busy day?”

“Same old, same old,” he sighed, from his place behind the cash register. “You?”

“The usual,” Root shrugged. She turned away and headed into the aisles.

Will was Mr. Ingram’s son and one of 3 employees at the Stop and Shop. He was usually at the register when Root came after school. He never judged her for only buying non-perishables. Everyone knew that Root’s mother was a drunk and that Root basically cared for herself.

Root wandered down the breakfast aisle, looking at the bars. Maybe she’d mix it up this time and buy a new flavor. She shook her head and slid the apple bars into her basket. She couldn’t risk buying a flavor she wasn’t going to like and having to eat them for the next week.

One day, she was going to eat warm meals. She could learn to cook and put on some weight. Her growth spurts had left her skinny and gawky. She continued down the aisle to the cereal section. She’d gotten Honey Nut Cheerios last time, so maybe she’d get Frosted Flakes this time.

If she ate real food, she’d grow boobs. She could eat better and actually gain some muscle. There wasn’t anything she could do about eating better right now, but maybe she could find some good workout videos. Maybe she’d make a buff friend and they’d help her fill out. Someone bumped into her.

“Oh, sorry,” Root said, turning around. She frowned when she saw who it was.

Sameen scowled at her, stepping away.

“Hello, Sam!” John’s mom said, walking up to them. “How are you? How’s your mom?”

“I’m well, Mrs. Reese, thank you.” Root said, smiling politely, while keeping an eye on Shaw. “My mom is good, too.”

Mrs. Reese nodded knowingly. “Let me know if you need anything, ok?”

Root flushed. “Of course. Thank you.”

Mrs. Reese smiled again and kept walking down the aisle. Sameen frowned at her back and then turned to Root, opening her mouth.

“Don’t,” Root muttered, embarrassed. “Just…don’t.”

Sameen hesitated, but nodded. She stood there for another second, her dark clothes making her look out of place in the brightly colored store. Finally, she turned and followed Mrs. Reese to the next aisle.

Root watched her go and frowned. She could never figure out what Sameen was thinking. Sometimes, she seemed deep in thought despite her blank face. Usually, she just seemed angry at everything. Root grabbed the Honey Nut Cheerios off the shelf and dumped them into her basket.

She spent another 20 minutes in the store, buying her usual items. Everything she got had to fit under her bed and last her for at least two weeks. She never knew when her mother would be home and asleep long enough to steal some money from her purse.

Root thought again about hacking into her mom’s bank account and ordering a debit card in her name. That way Root would always have access to money. The only downside was that it was easier for her mother to find out she was stealing money and Root had a feeling her mom dealt mostly in cash anyway.

Root stepped out into the warm air and glanced at the sky again. It had grown darker since she’d started shopping and the air had started to smell like rain. She hurried to her bike and put her groceries into the basket. She could probably make it home before the storm started.

Root set off towards her house as fast as she could. She lived just on the edge of town, almost a 45 minute bike ride.

She thought back to when she’d first met Sameen. She’d been excited to have someone new come into town. Root had been surrounded by the same 3,000 people her entire life, so when school had started and Root heard there was a new girl, she was thrilled.

She’d been hoping that the new girl would be like her, smart and ambitious. If she was honest, Root had wished the girl would be teased, too, so they would be automatic friends.

Sameen, however, was not someone that got teased. Root remembered when Lambert had yanked on her ponytail during lunch that first day. Sameen had jumped to her feet and punched him in the face. No one had teased her after that.

Rationally, Root understood that Sameen had to be mean to her to avoid unnecessary attention. If she’d been nice to Root, she would have become a target herself. Still, Root would have liked a friend. Especially a friend that could literally protect her from anything.

Root made it home just as the sky opened up. She carried her bike into the house, leaning it against the stairwell, and took her backpack and food upstairs to her room. She took her helmet off as she pushed her door open. The house was silent, letting her know her mother wasn’t home.

She shut her door, locking it and sliding the chain into place. About a year ago, her mother had drunkenly brought some guy home and tried to sleep with him in Root’s room. She’d added the chain after that.

Root threw her bags onto her bed and pulled out her laptop. She should probably study for her English test tomorrow. Root laughed to herself as she put her laptop on her desk. She wasn’t going to study. She had to finish cracking the NASA website.

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Root strolled into Earth/Space and groaned. Sameen was sitting next to Root’s assigned seat, tapping her pencil on the table. Root approached her with caution.

Sameen wasn’t even supposed to be in this class. She had science 2nd period; that’s why she was always in the perfect spot to antagonize Root between classes. Root stopped next to her table and slid her backpack off her shoulders, dropping it to the floor.

“Did you forget to leave when the bell rang?” Root joked, sitting on her stool. She waited for Sameen to say something, but she just stared blankly. “Or not.”

The bell rang and Mr. Ingram spoke from the front of the classroom. “Class, just so you know, Sameen will be join us for 3rd period. There was an…altercation during 2nd period and we all decided this was for the best.”

Root peeked at Sameen from the corner of her eyes. Sameen was glaring at Mr. Ingram. Root took in Sameen’s scrapped cheek and tried not to picture how the other kid in this…altercation looked.

“I’m going to pass out a study guide for Monday’s exam. You and your partner should work together to fill it out. There’s 200 questions so you’ll have all of today and tomorrow to fill it out.”

Root watched Mr. Ingram walk around the class passing out the worksheet. She took it from him when he came down the aisle. A quick glance showed her that it would only actually take one class period to fill out. That’s fine, Root thought, she could work on something else tomorrow.

Root reached down to pull her pencil case out of her backpack. The dayglow aliens shimmered under the fluorescents. She pulled a pencil out and slid the packet closer, but hesitated. She looked at Shaw.

“Are you going to help me?”

Shaw just stared at the table, her hands clasped in her lap. Root noticed her bruised knuckles and sighed loudly. It was probably easier this way with no one to argue over answers. Besides, Root was always right.

The next 15 minutes passed in silence, Root working on the questions and Shaw staring at nothing next to her. Root stared at question 23. Name Jupiter’s 8 Regular Satellites. Root had written down 6, but couldn’t remember the other two.

“Fuck,” she muttered, “Io, Callisto, Europa, Ganymede, Metis, Thebe and…” She held out her hands, ticking down fingers as she named the moons. “Io, Callisto, Europe, Ganymede, Metis, Thebe…”

A hand entered her vision and dragged the packet away. Root looked at Sameen, surprised. Sameen plucked the pencil from Root’s hand and filled in the last two blanks. She tossed the pencil over and slid the paper back to Root. Root eyed her for a moment longer before glancing down at the answer.

“Adrastea and Amalthea,” Root read. She smiled at Sameen. “Thanks, I always forget those two.”

Sameen nodded and resumed staring at the table. Root looked at Sameen’s handwriting. It was not what she expected. Looking at Sameen, she’d thought she’d have an illegible scrawl, quick and dirty, but Sameen’s actual handwriting was impeccable, perfectly level and evenly spaced.

“You have nice handwriting,” Root commented. “Mine’s a mess.”

Sameen just shrugged. Root rolled her eyes and turned her focus back to the work. This was going to be a long year.

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Root glanced at her watch and shoved the last Oreo into her mouth, shutting her laptop. It was time to head for her favorite stargazing spot. She glanced at her window at the setting sun. If she left now, she’d get there just before the meteor shower was supposed to start. Root pushed herself away from the desk, moving to her bed.

She’d already tied her blanket and telescope to the back of her bike, so she slid her laptop into her bag, grabbed her HAM Radio, and headed downstairs.

When she got to the bottom step, she heard a loud snore and froze. Her mother was home. Luckily, she was already passed out. Root listened closely to her mother’s snoring. She was in the living room, probably face down on the couch like usual.

Root tip-toed across the house, sneaking to the front door. She stopped by her mother’s purse, spilled open on the small table in the hallway, and pulled the cigarette stained wallet out. There was almost $200. Root took $60 and put the wallet back as quietly as possible. She hurried out the door.

Root breathed a sigh of relief and hopped off the front porch, grabbing her bike. Tossing her bag into the front basket, she tuned the radio to KLove, the only non-Christian music station they got, and headed north.

Breathing in the warm night air, she pedaled happily. It was early September and still warm at night. Root figured it’d still be a month or so before it would drop below 70. Winter was Root’s favorite time of year because she got to wear her favorite sweaters. She also got to see Orion, the hunter, her favorite constellation.

Root picked up speed as the radio host announced the hour. She was about halfway to her usual spot. Reaching out, she turned her clip light on, the sky almost black.

Root had built her radio herself. This was her latest model and it had the furthest range yet. It could pick up stations from Corpus Christi, even on cloudy nights. There was one station that played space noise. Root turned it on when she was having trouble sleeping.

She really enjoyed tinkering and was in the middle of building a computer. She still needed a few parts, and the detail work was still tricky, but she knew she’d get there. Root was very good with technology.

When she got to her spot, there was already a bike leaning against the bottom of the hill. Root hopped to the ground and walked her bicycle the rest of the way. She didn’t recognize the bike, but it was a nice one. Smaller than average, but it had a full gear set.

Root pushed out her kick stand, turned off her light, and grabbed her bag, looking at the sky. The meteor shower was just beginning. She untied the telescope and blanket from the back of her bike and started up the hill. When she was close to the top, she heard someone else’s radio playing the same station, so she shut hers off.

Cresting the top, Root stopped, surprised. Sameen was here, lying on her own blanket, her eyes fixed on the sky.

“Oh,” Root said, surprising Sameen, “Sorry. No one is usually here.”

Sameen just looked at her, confused.

“Are you here to see the shower, too?”

Sameen nodded, sitting up. Root wasn’t sure what to do, but after a moment, Sameen reached to the side and patted the grass next to her.

“Ok, I’ll just, yeah.” Root put her things down. She grabbed her blanket, trying to unroll it and put it down as quickly as possible. Sameen grabbed the far end and helped her lay it out. “Thanks,” Root muttered, pushing her hair behind her ear.

She sat down pulling her bag to her side. She’d set the telescope up when the shower really got going. The moon and stars shown down on them, providing enough light to see each other. The music stopped.

Around them, cicadas chirped. Root thought Sameen might say something with the music off, but they just sat on the hill in awkward silence for a few minutes.

“You can play music,” Root offered, staring up at the sky. “I was listening to it anyway.”

Sameen didn’t say anything, but she turned the radio back on, placing it on the grass between them. She laid back down, crossing her arms behind her head. “You can really see the stars out here.”

Root laid down, hands crossed on her stomach. She turned her head to look at Sameen, noticing the way her skin glowed in the moonlight. “Yeah, I always come out here when something is happening. Do you like astronomy?”

Sameen nodded, not looking at her.

“Cool,” Root breathed, looking up at the sky, “We should talk about it sometime.”

They watched the shower streak across the sky.


	2. It's the Start of Something New

Root laughed at the radio host. The 2AM radio hour was her favorite; everyone was a little loopy and sometimes they let the interns run the show. The intern hosting now, Claire, was really into science and had been playing space-themed songs for almost the whole hour.

Root glanced over at Sameen. They were riding back to town now, the shower over. Root had never had someone to come back with, so she wasn’t sure If she was supposed to start a conversation. Sameen seemed content to just pedal along, her ponytail streaming in the wind.

Root smiled to herself, as ‘Space Travel is Boring’ started playing over the radio. She reached over to where Sameen’s radio hung from her bike to try and turn the radio up. It was too far of a reach and she started to tip over, but Sameen caught her shoulder and pushed her back up.

“Thanks,” Root panted, pushing her hair out of her face. “I love this song.”

Sameen nodded, taking her hand back. Root could see her smiling softly.

“I’ve been practicing wheelies!” Root announced, grinning. “Do you want to see?”

Sameen looked skeptical, but nodded. Root pedaled ahead and leaned back, lifting the front wheel. She coasted for a second before looking over her shoulder at Sameen.

“Oh, no!” Root squealed as she tilted too far back and hit the ground, her bicycle seat smacking her in the stomach. She groaned and moved her bicycle away, curling into a ball.

“Wow,” Sameen said, stopping beside her, “You should practice more.”

“Shut up,” Root groaned, rolling onto her knees. She couldn’t help smiling, despite the pain. That was the first time Sameen had teased her as a joke. Root pushed herself to her feet and dusted herself off. “I’ve never had an issue before. You just distracted me.”

“Uh-huh,” Sameen said, raising an eyebrow.

Root rolled her eyes and picked up her bike. They started down the road again, riding in comfortable silence, listening to the radio.

Fifteen minutes later, they pulled up in front of Root’s house. Root hopped off her bike and looked at Sameen.

“Thanks for riding home with me,” she said, smiling.

Sameen nodded, her expression unreadable. Root tried to guess what she was thinking and came up blank. She’d have to work on reading Sameen if they were going to be friends.

“Ok, well, good night!” Root said cheerily, walking the bike up onto the porch and leaning it against the wall. She pulled her bag out of the basket, deciding to leave her telescope until the morning. Pushing the door open with one hand, she glanced over her shoulder.

Sameen was still there, leaning on her handle bar, waiting for Root to go inside. Root waved at her and Sameen waved back. She watched Sameen turn her bike around and ride off before entering the house.

Snoring floated from the living room as Root took her shoes off. She sighed with relief, grateful her mother was still passed out. Root headed for the staircase before remembering that the electric bill was due in a few days. She put her bag down on the stairs and tip-toed back to the front door, taking another $40 from her mom’s purse.

Root hurried to her room, grabbing her backpack on the way up. She had had fun hanging out with Sameen. They hadn’t talked much, Sameen seemed to be the silent type, but still, Root hadn’t hung out with anyone in a while.

Root got ready for bed, taking a quick shower to wash the outdoors off. She changed into her bunny pajamas and climbed into bed, putting her phone on her nightstand to charge. Glancing up at the ceiling, she smiled. There were still some glow-in-the-dark stars stuck up there from before Hanna moved away.

Root snuggled into her blanket, closing her eyes. She didn’t have any plans this weekend, so she hadn’t bothered setting an alarm. She would probably just do her homework and work on her computer project.

Hopefully, her night on the hill with Sameen would yield positive results. Now that they’d spent some time together, Sameen could see that Root wasn’t that weird and they could be friends. Zoe and Joss would never believe it if Sameen was nice to Root. Staring at the ceiling, Root sighed. It was probably too much to hope for.

A glow appeared next to her as she got a message. Root sat up, confused. She never got messages. She reached for her phone, unplugging it and squinting at the bright screen.

She grinned. Sameen had sent her a friend request. She opened Facebook, accepted the request and scrolled through Sameen’s profile. Sameen’s picture was just a picture of her bicep and Root had to take a deep breath. Sameen wore baggy clothing to school, but apparently, she was really fit.

Root took one more look before locking her phone and plugging it back in. She laid down again and squeezed her eyes shut, determined to fall asleep quickly. Suddenly, her weekend seemed much more exciting.

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Root looked up at John’s house, her hand shading her eyes from the sun. She’d only been here once before, with Hanna, but it’d been easy to find again. It was bigger than her house, unsurprisingly since it had to hold three kids and John’s mom.

Root walked backwards into the street so she could peek into the second-floor windows to guess which one was Sameen’s room. She spotted a short shadow cross the top right window and grinned. Quickly crossing the yard, she leaned her bike against the porch and hiked her bag up on her shoulders. She climbed onto railing, reaching up to grab the overhang. Thankfully, she’d had a growth spurt recently.

She struggled to pull herself up onto the roof, her legs pedaling in the air, but she managed to hook her knee over the edge and roll herself onto the shingles. Laying there for a second, she caught her breath, her bag digging into her side. Maybe Sameen would help her work on upper body strength so it’d be easier to sneak into her bedroom.

Root shook her head and carefully climbed to her feet, walking up to Sameen’s window. She knocked on the glass. After a moment, Sameen’s blinds raised. Root grinned, waving at Sameen’s surprised face. She mimed opening the window.

Sameen blinked and slid the window up, moving out of the way so Root could climb in.

“Hey!” Root greeted, taking her backpack off and throwing it onto Sameen’s bed. “Wow, your room is really nice.”

Root looked around at the large room. Sameen had a television on her dresser, hooked up to a couple gaming systems Root couldn’t name. There was strip of chalkboard paint on one wall. Sameen had written out an outline for the science test on Monday. She had two giant bookshelves and a huge, unmade bed.

“Let me guess,” Root joked, ignoring Sameen’s confusion, “You got the big bedroom and the boys have to share.”

Sameen nodded, wiping her forehead. Root realized that Sameen was in the middle of exercising, her sports bra dark with sweat. The room seemed to get warmer and Root turned away.

“Don’t let me stop you from doing your thing!” Root laughed as she hopped onto the bed and started untying her sneakers. “I brought the New York Times crossword, so I can do that. Do you like crosswords?”

Sameen stared at her for a moment before shrugging.

“Cool, you can help me. Saturday is always hard.” Root unzipped her bag and pulled the newspaper out. She pulled out a bag of pretzels and fished around the bottom of the bag before realizing she had nothing to write with. “Can I borrow a pencil?”

Sameen moved to her large desk and picked up a pencil, tossing it to Root. She watched Root stretch out on her stomach and scratched her head. Root squinted at the paper.

“Ok, ‘Like a Drumhead’,” Root said, thoughtfully, watching Sameen kneel to the ground and assume the push-up position. “What do you think?”

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A few hours later, they’d abandoned the crossword puzzle in favor of looking over Sameen’s bookshelf. Most of her books were about fighting, Root discovered. Biographies of female martial artists, philosophies of violence, and a book about first aid.

Root stretched up onto her toes to try and see the books on the top shelf. She heard metal click and turned around. Sameen was carrying over a step stool. She put it next to Root.

“Thanks,” Root said, stepping up. “Must be hard to be so short, huh?”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Fuck off.”

“I’m just teasing, Sameen,” Root laughed, looking at the rest of Sameen’s books. There were medical books up here. Sameen tried to put on a tough front, but she was a smart girl.

“Do you believe in aliens, Sameen?” Root asked, stepping down to the floor.

Sameen sat on the bed, crossing her legs. She reached into the almost empty bag of pretzels and shrugged. “Maybe.”

“Yeah? I was thinking of starting a club for believers.” Root shrugged. “Not at school, like a town meet-up thing.”

Sameen nodded, shoving a fist full of pretzels into her mouth.

Root nodded back, satisfied. “Cool. Wanna go to Corpus Christi tomorrow and look at books? The Library here is crap.”

Sameen nodded again. There was a knock on the door and Mrs. Reese stuck her head in.

“Oh, Sam, I didn’t know you were here.” Mrs. Reese said, surprised.

“It’s Root,” Sameen corrected her. “Her name is Root.”

“Oh,” Mrs. Reese smiled apologetically at Root. “I’ll remember that. When did you get here?”

Root shrugged. “A while ago.”

“I see.” Mrs. Reese smiled between Root and Sameen. “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

“Yes,” Sameen answered for Root.

“Ok, I’m just ordering pizza. It’ll be here soon.” She closed the door behind her.

Root pumped her fists. “I love pizza. We should get pizza tomorrow!”

Sameen shook her head. “Sandwiches.”

Root laughed and threw herself onto the bed.

30 minutes later, Mrs. Reese yelled up the stairs that dinner was ready. Root watched Sameen shoot out of the room and raced after her. She had to stop and press herself against the wall when John and Lionel ran passed her. The boys and Sameen pounded down the stairs into the kitchen like a herd of elephants.

“No!” Root heard Mrs. Reese scold from the kitchen. “We have a guest! She gets to eat first!”

Sameen walked back into the hallway downstairs, glaring up at Root. She gestured sharply for her to come down. Root laughed at the grumpy look on her face and hurried down to the kitchen.

John and Lionel were seated at the table with Mrs. Reese. Root followed Sameen, sitting down next to her.

“Go ahead, sweetie,” Mrs. Reese smiled at her, “Take as much as you want.”

“Thanks,” Root said, feeling awkward as Sameen and the boys stared at her impatiently. She grabbed two slices of pepperoni and nodded.

The table exploded with motion. Root thought she saw Sameen elbow John in the face as they grabbed as much food as they could, as fast as they could. Root looked at Mrs. Reese.

“Is it always like this?” She asked, wide-eyed.

“Unfortunately,” Mrs. Reese sighed. “John could always eat his own weight in food, but Lionel and Sameen give him a run for his money.”

Root didn’t have any siblings, so she wasn’t sure if every family was like this, but it seemed normal enough. Teenage boys were known for being bottomless pits and Sameen worked out a lot, so she probably needed the calories.

Root laughed as Sameen stacked two pieces of pizza on top of each other, shoving as much into her mouth as possible. Sameen caught her looking and scowled, her mouth bulging around the pizza.

Taking a bite, the hot food making her mouth water, Root realized this was probably the perfect time to snoop.

“So, how long have Sameen and Lionel been with you?” Root asked. She heard Sameen choke.

“Lionel has been with use for about four months now and Sameen for about two,” Mrs. Reese replied, cutting her pizza into pieces with a knife.

“Cool,” Root said, smiling when Sameen dragged a thumb across her throat, trying to look threatening. “I didn’t realize Sameen moved here so soon before school started.”

Mrs. Reese glanced between them, trying to figure out what was going on. She swallowed her mouthful. “Yes, she had a quick turnaround. Luckily, we got the paper work done before the school year started and she had a week or so to adjust to the new time zone.”

“Ok,” Sameen said, wiping her mouth. “That’s enough.”

Root and the boys laughed at Sameen’s angry face. Lionel peered across the table at Root.

“Since when have you two been friends?” he asked. “Shortstack here doesn’t have any friends.”

“Only for a few days,” Root answered. “We cemented our bond on a hillside during last night’s meteor shower. Sameen was kind enough to let me listen to her radio.”

Everyone stared at Root with an odd expression on their face. She just took a bit of pizza, savoring the hot meal.

“Huh,” Lionel snorted. “I don’t know what that means, but at least Small Stuff has learned some basic social skills.”

Sameen threw her crust at him.

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After dinner, Root and Sameen went back to Sameen’s bedroom. Root started packing her things away, getting ready to go home.

“Thanks for letting me hang out today.”

Sameen nodded, fiddling with something on her desk. She scratched her nose.

“I’ll text you tomorrow about going into the city?” Root asked, zipping her bag shut.

“Sleep over,” Sameen muttered, still staring at her desk.

Root stepped towards her. “What?”

Sameen crossed her arms, rolling her eyes. “Want to sleep over?”

“Hell yeah!” Root cheered running across the room and hugging Sameen. Sameen tensed and Root pulled away. “This is so exciting!” She ran back to the bed, pulling her radio out again. She paused. “Oh, should we ask your mom?”

Sameen nodded and walked out of the room. “Wait here.”

Root watched her walk out of the room before turning back to her bag and pulling her laptop out. If they were going to have a sleepover, they were going to watch the X-Files. Sameen could grumble all she wanted, but Root hadn’t had a sleepover in months and this was going to be perfect.

When Sameen came back into the room, she shut the door behind her. She quickly crossed the room and climbed into bed beside Root, looking at her laptop.

“Have you ever watched X-Files?” Root asked from her spot leaning against the headboard.

Sameen shook her head.

“Wanna watch it with me? It’s about aliens and the FBI. Scully is really pretty. I wanna be just like her.”

Root waited for Sameen to nod and started the first episode.

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Root blinked against the bright light of the room. She must have fallen asleep at some point. She realized she was leaning on Sameen’s shoulder and sat up quickly.

Sameen was asleep, too, her head tilted back against the headboard. Root pulled her phone out of her pocket and took a picture, grinning as Sameen snored. She reached out to shake her shoulder.

Sameen’s head snapped forward and she rubbed her eyes. Blinking at Root, she frowned and slid out of bed. Root worried that she was going to leave, but she just turned the lights off and came back, crawling under the blankets.

Sameen waited until Root put her laptop on the floor before closing her eyes again.

“Good night,” she mumbled, snoring almost immediately.

Root smiled and dropped her head onto the pillow. “Good night, Sameen.”


	3. Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blood Mention. It's not bad, just a heads-up

Root grinned at Sameen from across the court and waved. They’d been hanging out for a couple weeks now, but Sameen still acted weird at school, like she was afraid people would know that they were friends. Root loved to tease her about it. It wasn’t like Sameen couldn’t beat everyone up anyway.

They were on opposite volleyball teams today, but Root wasn’t worried. Since they’d become friends, Sameen did her best to avoid hitting the ball to Root. There had been a few accidents, but Root was getting better at dodging.

“When did you and Shaw become friends?” Joss asked, tying her shoe.

“Oh, very recently,” Root responded, bouncing on her toes. “She’s actually a lot of fun.”

“Fun?” Zoe asked, smirking. “I mean, she plays soccer like a beast, but I don’t think ‘Sameen’ and ‘fun’ have ever been used in the same sentence before.”

Root shrugged, unbothered. “You guys have to talk to her about something she likes, like…fighting or…cars.”

Zoe and Joss laughed and got ready to play. Root looked across the court and met Sameen’s eyes, sticking her tongue out. Rolling her eyes, Sameen spiked the ball, starting the game.

For most of the game, Root hung back in her corner and watched. Sameen always looked so focused when she played sports, her eyebrows drawn down. Root hadn’t been to a soccer game yet, but maybe she’d go on Friday. She and Sameen could get ice cream afterwards or something. Maybe they’d invite Zoe and Joss along.

Root watched Sameen dive for the ball and felt her stomach flutter. She’d never seen anyone as strong as Sameen before. Well, never seen a girl as strong as Sameen. The other day, they’d been exploring the woods outside of town and came across a river. Sameen had carried both their bikes across, lifting them over her head, one in each hand.

Root wasn’t sure how she felt about it, but she’d definitely made Sameen flex so she could take a picture. She was determined to get Sameen to make it her profile picture, but, so far, that was an argument she was losing.

She shook her head, focusing on the present. She could see Coach Silva motioning for her to join the game. Holding her arms out like she was participating, Root sighed. Across the court, Sameen ran for the ball, but that jackass Lambert shoved her aside and spiked the ball.

It headed straight for Root and she hesitated, unsure of which way to dodge. The ball struck her right in the face, knocking her onto her back.

“Ow,” Root groaned, her hands clasping her nose. The metallic taste in her mouth told her she was bleeding.

“Let me see,” Sameen demanded, appearing at her side. Root felt her lightly clasp Root’s wrists and let Sameen pull her hands down. “Oh,” she hissed, “That’s definitely broken.”

Root looked at Sameen, her eyes filling with tears. Coach Silva tried to pull Sameen away, but Sameen didn’t budge, just glared up at the coach.

“Ok,” Coach Silva said, holding her hands up defensively, “just take her to the nurse’s office.”

Sameen nodded and pulled Root up, peering closely at her nose. Root swallowed, avoiding Sameen’s eyes as she tried to get herself under control. She felt Sameen take her hand, leading her away.

They walked out of the gymnasium in silence, Sameen holding Root’s hand a little too tightly. When they got to the hallway, Sameen stopped them and turned to face Root.

“I’m sorry.”

Root frowned, confused. “What?”

“Tilt your head back,” Sameen ordered, lifting Root’s chin with her hand. “Lambert surprised me.”

“Oh, uh,” Root shrugged, trying to look at Sameen with her head tilted back. Sameen was just below her range of vision. “Not your fault.”

“It won’t happen again.” Sameen said, voice flat. She pulled on Root’s hand again, starting towards the nurse’s office again.

Root smiled despite the pain.

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“Ok, tell me again what position Sameen plays?” Root ask Lionel, idly picking at the bandage on her nose.

“She’s the left forward,” Lionel replied, exasperated. “She shoulda given you a lesson before letting you come to the game.”

Root shrugged. “She tried, but I’m not really a sport person.”

“Clearly.” Lionel rolled his eyes.

John smiled at Root from Lionel’s other side. He didn’t talk much, but Root like him. He always held the door open for her when they hung out and he and Sameen seemed to have a bond. John was on the school’s Lacrosse team, not that Root really knew what Lacrosse was.

Root watched Sameen deftly avoid an elbow to the stomach. She was running across the field with the ball, her attention divided between the ball and the players in front of her. It was a thrill to watch, Root discovered. Sameen was a force to be reckoned with.

Root stopped picking at her bandage and tucked her hands into her sleeves. She was going back to the doctor tomorrow to get her bandage removed. Her nose had been broken a few days ago by Lambert and Sameen had used it as an excuse to beat him up. Lambert had even apologized to her.

Mostly, Root was glad that it’d given her an excuse not to play volleyball for the rest of the week. She’d been able to watch Sameen play without worrying about significant injury. Maybe Root should actually listen the next time Sameen talked about sports, especially if she was going to start coming to games.

“Here we go!” Lionel yelled, jumping to his feet.

Root stood up, watching Sameen dodge around a large girl. Sameen was close to the other team’s net, looking around. She ran across the front of the goal, stopping suddenly and kicking the ball into the large open space the goalie had left.

“Go Sameen!” Root cheered, waving her hands above her head. Joss ran up to Sameen, tackling her to the ground. The rest of the girls’ soccer team piled on. Sameen had scored the winning goal.

“So, did they win the championship?” Root asked Lionel as they started to follow the crowd down the bleachers.

Lionel gave her a weird look. “No. This was the bi-district match. They have to win six more games to get to the championship and then they have to win that game, too.”

“Oh, well, they’re good enough, right?”

Lionel and John chuckled and lead the way out of the stadium. They’d taken the bus to the next town over to watch the game. Bishop wasn’t big enough to host a soccer game, so they had all their games at the Texas A&M stadium in Kingsville.

“Bishop has never even made it to the championships before,” John said.

“Or regionals.”

“Or semi-regionals.”

“Honestly,” Lionel mused, “I don’t think they’ve qualified for bi-district before. I read up on all their sports when I moved here. I think this might be the best Bishop has ever done.”

“Thanks to Sameen?” Root asked, feeling proud. “Wow, maybe this is the year they go all the way!”

She pulled out her phone to send Sameen a text, but heard her name being called. Looking up, she saw Sameen running towards them, still in her uniform, the bright gold making her skin glow. Root smiled her sweaty face.

“Hey,” Sameen panted, stopping in front of her and hiking her bag higher on her shoulder, “Did you see me score the goal?”

“Yeah!” Root went to hug her, but decided against it. “Sorry,” she winced, “You’re just really sweaty.”

“It’s ok,” Sameen swallowed, still trying to catch her breath. “Wanna come to Dairy Queen with us?”

Root thought about the three dollars in her wallet and slumped with disappointment. “I can’t.”

Sameen frowned and Root immediately felt bad for ruining the mood. Sameen glared at John and he stepped forward.

“I’m buying, so you have no excuse,” he said, smiling at Root. “Mom gave us money for dinner since she couldn’t make it.”

Root felt her stomach tighten, but nodded. She hated having to let her friends buy her food, but she wanted to be there for Sameen and if John’s mom gave him money for her anyway, then it’d be rude to turn it down. She noticed Sameen watching her with her typical unreadable expression and smiled, determined to be cheerful.

“Don’t glare at me, Sameen! I’m coming! Here, let me take your bag.”

Sameen backed up, clutching the straps and shaking her head. Root moved forward to follow her, arms out stretched.

“Sameen, you just played a game, let me help you!” Root whined, mirroring Sameen as she kept moving away. “Sameen!”

Sameen turned and ran away, forcing Root to chase after her. “You can carry it, if you can catch me!”

“Sameen!” Root yelled. “Come on!”

She could hear John and Lionel laughing as Sameen faked left and ran to the right. Why was this always so difficult?

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“So, I told him ‘Did you really think we weren’t going to talk to each other? Seriously?” Joss said, her eyebrows raised. “John, you’re cute, but you’re really dumb.”

The girls laughed at the uncomfortable expression on John’s face. Root looked at Sameen right as she shoved the last quarter of her cheeseburger in her mouth. Sameen tried to close her lips around the bite, but failed, her cheeks puffing out like a squirrel. After a moment, she gave up and just started chewing with her mouth still slightly open.

Sameen caught Root looking and flushed. Laughing, Root pulled a couple napkins from the holder next to her and passed them over.

“Why do you always do this to yourself?” she asked, affectionately.

Sameen just shrugged and wiped her hands on the napkin. She turned to listen to Zoe.

“…John just can’t handle strong women.” Zoe was saying, nudging John with her shoulder. “Isn’t that right, Sameen?”

Sameen nodded, swallowing enough to close her mouth. “Mm-hmm.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side,” John whined. “I bought us dinner.”

“Technically,” Lionel spoke up, “Your mom bought us dinner.”

John turned to Lionel, looking hurt. “Et tu, Lionel?”

“Your siblings are fickle, John,” Root joked, resting her head on her hand. “I’m on your side, though. I could teach you how to respect women.”

“Yeah,” Joss laughed around her straw, “Root’s good with women. She won over our Sameen here.”

Root heard Sameen choke and looked at her, smug. She’d won Sameen over surprisingly fast. Root had been nervous about spending time with her, but she really enjoyed it. She only hoped she and Sameen would keep growing closer. Although, right now, Sameen looked like she wanted to throw Root out the window.

“I’m just joking,” Joss rolled her eyes at Sameen’s glare. “Calm down, Crabby.”

“So…” Root started, changing the subject, “Lionel tells me you guys haven’t won a tri-district game before.”

“Bi-district,” Sameen corrected her, quietly.

“Oh, sorry, Bi-district.” Root reached for Sameen’s milkshake and pulled it towards her, taking a sip.

“Bishop does not have a stellar record when it comes to sports, no,” Zoe confirmed. “We’re going to go far this season, though. I can feel it!”

Sameen snatched the milkshake back from Root, scowling. Root watched her pull the straw out, push the milkshake clinging to the bottom back into the glass and toss the straw over her shoulder. She reached over Root to pull a new straw out of the holder and “accidentally” hit Root in the face with the straw.

“Very mature,” Root laughed, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. She turned her attention back to the group. “Were you and Joss on the team last year?”

“Nope,” Joss said, popping the ‘p,’ “They usually don’t let freshman on the team. Miss Shaw here is an exception.”

“So, it’s not just Sameen that’s improving the team’s odds. It’s all three of you!”

The girls nodded, grinning. Root felt Sameen knock her knee against Root’s and looked down, but Sameen’s knees were straight in front of her. Root shrugged and went back to eating her French fries.

It was nice to be out with friends on a Friday night. Even when Hanna was still living in Bishop, Root hadn’t gone out a lot. She and Hanna just had a lot of sleepovers on the weekend or hung out at the library. Root couldn’t afford to go out all the time, but Sameen was always down to do anything. They didn’t have to spend money to have fun.

Root yawned, all the excitement wearing her out. Sameen leaned over to talk to her.

“You’re sleeping over tonight, right?” she asked.

Root nodded, rubbing her eyes. “Yeah, I dropped my bag at your house when I met up with your brothers.”

“Cool,” Sameen said, straightening up again. She pushed away from the table, prompting the rest of the group to stand up, too.

“You guys having a sleepover?” Joss asked. “Can we sleep over, too?”

Sameen stiffened and turned to Root. She shook her head, obviously signaling that she didn’t want them to sleep over. Root smiled, reassuringly and looked at the other girls.

“Of course, you can sleep over!”

“Yay!” the girls cheered, heading out of the Dairy Queen, John and Lionel trailing behind.

Root reached out to put her hands on Sameen’s shoulders and turned her around, forcing her to march to the door. “Come on, Sameen. It’ll be good for you!”

“Not likely,” Sameen growled.

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Sameen scowled as Zoe pulled out yet another bottle of nail polish. How could one person possible own so many colors? How could so many colors exist? Sameen turned her attention back to the TV screen, hoping that if she ignored them, the other girls would stop bothering her.

“Come on, Sameen,” Joss said, mouth full of popcorn, “which color do you want?”

“None of them,” she scowled.

Root laughed, spinning slowly in Sameen’s desk chair. “You could just do black like me.”

“No, I think she’d look good in a dark red,” Zoe argued, holding a bottle up to Sameen’s hand. “How about this one?”

Sameen glanced down, reluctant to admit that it was actually a nice color and she wouldn’t be completely upset if her nails were painted. She glanced at Root’s face, freezing when she saw it drawn into a pout. Root’s lip was shaking and her eyes were wide.

Sameen rolled her eyes and yanked the bottle from Zoe’s hand. “Fine. Whatever.”

The three girls cheered. Joss moved onto the bed, leaving more room for Zoe to paint Sameen’s nails on the floor. Zoe took the bottle back from Sameen and pulled her hand towards her.

They’d already watched four movies, eaten about three pizzas, and all taken showers. Sameen was very grateful that her sleepovers with Root weren’t this exciting. While she had to admit she was having fun, she wasn’t sure she could do this every weekend. Normally, she and Root would just watch X-Files and talk, but this was fun, too.

“So, Root and Sameen,” Joss said, letting her head hang over the edge of the bed, peering at them upside down, “do you two have crushes on anyone at school?”

Sameen glanced at Root, who had turned red. “Do you?” she asked, surprised. Root hadn’t mentioned anything about a crush.

“Uh, no,” Root said, pulling her feet up onto the chair. “Not really.”

“Me neither,” Sameen said, watching Zoe paint her nails. “I mean, Tomas is kind of cute, but I don’t really like him.”

“You and Tomas would make a hot couple,” Zoe commented, moving to Sameen’s other hand. “He’s got that bad boy thing going on.”

“You like bad boys, Sameen?” Joss sat up, looking at her phone. “You into the leather jacket thing?”

Sameen shrugged. “I don’t know.” She glanced at Root who was picking at her nail polish. She was going to ruin them if she did that and Sameen was not going to fix them for her. “Let’s talk about something else.”

She saw Zoe and Joss exchange a glance and frowned. This was the problem with having girl friends - they were so nosy. Sameen waited until Zoe finished her last finger and pulled her hand away.

“I’m tired.”

Zoe and Joss whined, but they started packing up their things, making room for the queen-sized air mattress Mrs. Reese had dug up for them. Root helped Sameen lay it out and blow it up. A few minutes later, the lights were out, the TV was off and everyone had climbed into their beds.

Sameen looked at Root in the dark and tried to see if she was still awake. When the group had been discussing sleeping arrangements, Sameen had demanded that Root share the bed with her. She had just gotten used to the way Root slept; she wasn’t going to let anyone else throw her off.

“Root?” Sameen whispered.

“Yeah?” Root replied, turning over to face Sameen. She reached out with her hand.

Sameen took it and put it on her face, so Root would know where to look. She let go of Root’s hand and let her pull it away.

“What’s up?” Root asked, speaking quietly so the other girls wouldn’t hear.

“I don’t have a crush on Tomas.”

Root was silent for a moment and Sameen thought she might have fallen asleep. She heard Root draw a breath.

“Ok, Sameen.”

Root didn’t say anything else, so Shaw just nodded into the darkness and turned onto her back. A minute later, she heard Root turn over again. Root always liked to sleep on her right side.

Sameen smiled to herself and closed her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact: Actual Bishop Senior High is not big enough to have a soccer team.  
> Second Fun Fact: Fewer People live in Bishop than went to my high school.


	4. I'll Be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm going to divide my chapters up by time jumps, so they're probably going to be varying lengths.

“Welcome to the first meeting of the Bishop Astronomers’ Club for Kindred Spirits; BACKS, for short.”

Root was standing at the end of the table, looking around the circular booth. She’d put an ad online for a MeetUp of like-minded scientists. Only four people responded so after a couple weeks, she’d set a date and picked the Kingsville Arcade and Roller Rink as the location. That had been Sameen’s idea.

John and Lionel had come along for moral support and because Sameen had given then 10 bucks. Root wasn’t supposed to know that, but it was fine. The more bodies the better.

She looked at the man next to them. To everyone’s surprise, Mr. Finch, their math teacher had answered the ad. Apparently, he was into science as well. Root didn’t know who the next two people were, but they seemed to be a middle-aged married couple. The wife was wearing a shirt with the HAM Radio symbol on it, so they couldn’t be too bad.

Root’s eyes landed on the last member of their group, her face dropping into a scowl. Tomas had answered her ad. Root highly doubted he was actually interested in science because his eyes kept drifting across the arcade to where Sameen was playing Mortal Kombat and pretending she didn’t care.

Root slammed her stack of papers onto the table, making Tomas jump and look at her. “These are your reading lists. The first order of business for BACKS to make sure we are all on the same page. Literally.”

Root took a packet from the stack and then passed the stack to Lionel.

“Any questions?”

“Yes, Miss Groves,” Harold said, peering at his packet. “What-“

“Call me Root. We’re all equals at this table.” Root interrupted.

“Ok…” Harold said, squinting up at her. “Miss Groves, I was under the assumption that this was a group for discussing alien interventions in our society.”

“Well, Harold,” Root said pointedly, hearing Sameen snort from behind her, “it is a group for that, but it’s also a group for actively trying to reach out to aliens and make contact.”

“Wait,” Tomas said, flipping through his packet, “We’re alien hunters?”

Root clenched her jaw and turned to glare at him. “We are scientists with an interest in astronomy and the extra-terrestrial. If you aren’t interested, no one is going to stop you from leaving, Thomas.”

“It’s To-MAS, actually,” he corrected her, glancing at Sameen once again.

Root stared at him, wondering if she could get away with a solid punch to the jaw. It would impress Sameen and get this douchebag out of her. With a sigh, she decided against it and turned away to address the group.

“Any other questions?”

“So, let me get this straight,” Lionel furrowed his brow, “We’re going to build radios, read books, and talk to aliens?”

“Yes,” Root said, rolling her eyes. All of this was on the first page of their packets. She could forgive Lionel because he was only 12 and not 14 like her. Everyone else needed to step up. “That’s what I said.”

“Cool.” Lionel folded his packet up and tucked it into his jacket pocket. “Could we explore haunted buildings, too? Ghost and Aliens kinda go together, right? I watched that show, that Ghost Adventures. They use radios.”

Root sighed, but she was pleased at his enthusiasm. “I suppose we could put it to a vote. For now, though, let’s stick with astronomy, please.”

She looked at the couple, who were intently reading their packets. At least they understood the seriousness of the operation. Root clapped her hands together.

“Alright, that concludes our first meeting. Make sure to put your numbers and emails down on the sign-in sheet so I can message you about our next meeting.”

She watched Tomas slip out of the booth and cross the arcade to talk to Sameen and turned away. She smiled at John and Lionel as they slid out of the booth.

“Thanks for coming, guys. I know Sameen paid you, but I still appreciate it.”

John shrugged. “We would have come anyway.”

“Yeah,” Lionel added, grinning, “we just took the cash because why not, you know?”

Root laughed and waved them off. She and Sameen had plans to see a movie, so the boys were on their own for the night. She couldn’t help, but glance over her shoulder again.

Sameen was leaning against the game, her back to the console. Tomas casually leaned toward her, looking cooler than Root ever could. He said something and laughed. Root couldn’t see if Sameen laughed back, but she had her arms crossed. That was a good sign.

“Root?” a voice asked.

Root turned to see the couple standing in front of her, packets in their hands. The woman held her hand out for Root to shake.

“Alicia. It’s nice to meet you,” the woman smiled. She nodded to her husband. “This is Denton, my fellow space enthusiast. We were glad to see your posting. There aren’t many people around here who are interest in this sort of thing.”

“I know,” Root groaned, “it’s hard to find anyone in Bishop to talk to.”

“Well, consider us your confidants!” Denton joked. “We’re about as curious as they come and we’ve already read a couple of books on this list. Can’t wait to read more!”

They waved at Root and turned away. Root looked around for Mr. Finch, but he must have slipped away without her knowing. Root secretly hoped he wouldn’t come to the next meeting; he seemed like a real downer.

She sighed and picked up the rest of the packets from the table. She’d have to go over to Sameen and Tomas eventually. Tomas wasn’t that bad of a guy. He could be a douche, but he’d never been purposefully mean to Root. However, he was a junior and had a cool leather jacket and Sameen thought he was cute.

Root turned to look at them. “Sameen?” she called.

Sameen looked at her and started towards her, leaving Tomas hanging in the middle of his sentence. She stopped next to Root.

“Ready?” she asked, grabbing the last few French fries Lionel had left on his plate.

“If you are,” Root replied, glancing over Sameen’s shoulder at Tomas, who was staring at Sameen’s back, confused.

“Yeah,” Sameen said, heading for the door. “I need more Wonder Woman.”

“Again?” Root asked, laughing and following her. “We’ve seen it like four times.” She held her hands up defensively when Sameen glared at her. “I’m not complaining! You keep buying and I’ll keep watching. Hey, do you think you could help me get arms like that?”

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Root angled her phone camera for a better view. They were on the bus back to Bishop and the light was starting to fade. Sameen had said that Root’s hair was coming in really dark and now Root was trying to look at her roots to confirm.

“I don’t see it,” Root whined, “Are they really that dark?”

“Yeah,” Sameen said, biting off the last of her popsicle. “Not like mine, but brown.”

Root dropped her phone into her lap and sighed. “I guess I’m going to be a brunette when I grow up.”

Sameen shrugged. “Puberty sucks.”

“I can hear Hersch’s dumb voice now. ‘Root’s got roots!’ Ugh.” Root scowled.

“Where does Root come from?” Sameen asked, chewing on the end of the popsicle stick. Her white teeth left tiny bite marks on the wood.

Root looked at her, head tilted. “Are you being philosophical?”

“Ugh, no,” Sameen made a face. “I mean, the nickname.”

“Oh.”

Root thought about Hanna and how they had been so close before she’d moved away. Hanna had been Root’s first real friend and the only one who still talked to her in 8th grade. Root had made the mistake of confiding in someone about her interest in aliens and they’d told the whole school. Kids were still calling her ET.

Hanna had hung out with her, though. She’d liked computers almost as much as Root did and she was the one who had given Root her nickname. They’d been fighting because Hanna caught Root snooping through her school files and she’d called her a “Wannabe Root Admin.” It must have sounded cooler in Hanna’s head because Root had just started laughing.

Root missed Hanna sometimes. When she’d first moved away, they’d texted constantly and would Skype almost every night. Now, only three months later, they hardly talked. Hanna had made new friends over the summer and Root had her mother to deal with, so they’d drifted apart.

“Root?” Sameen’s voice pulled her back to the present.

Root smiled and looked at her. “Sorry, I got distracted. Um, in computers, Root is the person with the most power. The one who can access every file in the system.”

Sameen snorted. “Makes sense. You are both bossy and nosy.”

“Hey!” Root laughed, punching Sameen’s arm. “That’s rude.”

“Is there a word for rude people?” Sameen snapped her popsicle stick in half and shoved it into her pocket.

“Um…” Root pretended to think, “I think so. It’s pronounced “Suh-MEAN.”

“Wow. That’s clever. Nerd.”

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Root leaned back on her hands and lazily kicked her feet in the water. They had spent the rest of the afternoon swimming at Sameen’s house. They had to go to sleep soon, tomorrow was Monday, but for now, they were just hanging out, staring at the stars through the screen walls.

“Do you want to get married?” Sameen asked from across the pool.

“Why, Sameen,” Root joked, pressing a hand to her heart, “I thought you’d never ask.”

She couldn’t really see Sameen’s face in the dark, but she felt the eyeroll across the distance.

“Idiot.” Sameen lifted her legs out of the water, shaking them dry. “In the future.”

Root lolled her head back, thinking her answer through. “Well, I suppose I do. I don’t know; when I think about the future, it’s me and my best friend and a dog in a cool apartment in New York. Or Chicago. Or Washington DC. Some big city with a lot of action.”

She heard Sameen’s legs splash into the water again and lifted her head.

“I’ve always wanted a dog,” Sameen said quietly.

“Yeah? You’ve never had one?”

“Never,” Sameen sighed. “We moved around too much to keep a pet.”

“Really?” Sameen never talked about her life before Mrs. Reese adopted her. “Why?”

Sameen sighed, the pool in front of her splashing lightly. “My dad was in the military, so we always went with him wherever he was stationed.”

“And your mother?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Ok,” Root said, letting it go. “That’s fine.”

They sat in silence for a while. Root wondered what Sameen was like before her parents died. Was she more relaxed? Or was this just what Sameen was like? Root smiled, trying to imagine Sameen excited on Christmas morning. She couldn’t, the only image forming was a grumpy five year old ripping open boxes with incredible strength.

“What?” Sameen asked when Root giggled.

“Nothing, just thinking,” Root said. “Do you want to get married?”

“I don’t know. It’s what you’re supposed to do, right?”

“Sameen, don’t limit yourself! You could do anything you want.”

She was quiet for a moment. “Maybe not, then. I can’t imagine being with someone forever.”

Root shrugged. “I think it could be nice.”

“You could just annoy someone into loving you.”

“Is it working?”

“Gross,” Sameen said, standing and shaking her legs off. “Come on, let’s go shower and sleep.”

“Sure, we need to go over our Halloween designs anyway.”

Sameen opened the door to the house, holding it for Root. In the light, Root could see her rolling her eyes.

“Halloween’s weeks away.”

“I know!” Root slipped her feet into the bunny slippers Sameen had bought her. “We’re almost out of time!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alicia Corwin and Denton Weeks Guest Star as Weird Nerdy Couple.


	5. Iris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these nerds so much.

Root looked at her butt in the mirror. “I wish I was curvy like you are.”

“You look fine. If I wore that, the lines would get all messed up.”

They were getting ready to go trick-or-treating with the gang. Root had coordinated with everyone to make sure they all had the best possible costumes. Looking over her costume one more time, she turned away from the mirror.

She was wearing a full bodysuit, covered in various landmarks and attractions found alone Route 66. She’d ordered her costume online. It was the best pun she could thing of for her name: Root 66. She had even bought a pair of high top converse that looked like a roadmap.

Root looked at Sameen who was laying spread eagle on the bed, trying to drink a glass of water without sitting up. “You’re such an idiot.”

Sameen finally gave up and pulled herself up, crossing her legs. “I’ve done it before.”

“And stayed dry?”

“…No.”

Root laughed and took the glass of water from her, drinking the last of it. She set it on the nightstand. “Come on. Let’s go make sure the boys are finished with their make-up.”

“I cannot believe you convinced them to do this,” Sameen laughed, scooting off the bed. She looked down at her shirt. “I can’t believe you convinced me.”

Root looked at the image of a bowl of Cole Slaw she’d ironed onto Sameen’s shirt. She’d tried to get Sameen to actually dress like Cole Slaw, in a big swampsuit, but she’d refused. They’d come to a compromise; Sameen would agree to be Cole Shaw for Halloween, if Root let her just wear a T-Shirt.

“I think ‘convinced’ is a loose term,” Root mused, scratching her head. “Are you wearing shorts?”

“What?” Sameen raised her eyebrows, “It’s 70 degrees outside. This may be ‘winter’ in Texas, but for almost everyone else, it’s warm.”

Root held her hands up and started for the door. “Ok, fine. Sorry.”

“I’m just saying,” Sameen poked her in the back, “you’re going to regret that thick suit.”

They peered into the boys’ room and started laughing. Root might not have convinced Sameen to dress up all the way, but one puppy face to the boys and they’d folded like a house of cards. John had asked Root to make his costume, which she did, of course, but Lionel had been surprisingly enthusiastic.

“Hey,” Lionel stood up from his desk, holding his arms out, “What do you think?”

Root took in his whole outfit. He was dressed as The Cowardly Lionel. Root was proud of herself for the pun, but sad that it meant they wouldn’t be able to do a team Wizard of Oz costume next year. She’d have to find another reason to paint Sameen green.

Lionel looked good, his suit furry and fluffy. He’d even done a good job on his face.

“You look adorable, Lionel, and I think your mane makes you taller than Sameen,” Root joked, walking into the room and hopping on Lionel’s bed.

The boys room was about the same size as Sameen’s, but it felt smaller. The boys had filled every inch of wall space with posters of cop movies, kung-fu movies, and spy movies. Lionel’s half of the room was hectic, clothes on the floor and on the desk. John’s half was impeccable, perfectly made bed and recently vacuumed carpet.

“Hey, John!” Sameen called from her place against the door. “Show me what you got!”

“I can’t go like this!” He called from the attached bathroom. “Zoe and Joss are going to be there!”

“Don’t worry,” Root joked, “I gave them assignments, too.”

“You did?” John walked out of the bathroom, adjusting his headband.

“Holy shit,” Sameen said, bursting into laughter. “You look like a dumbass.”

John was wearing a giant deer onesie, his face painted to look like a doe. Root had made him John Doe. She wanted him to be taller before she had him dress as a pack of Reese’s.

“You look great!” Root complimented, gesturing to his face.

“I did the make-up,” Lionel bragged. “I think I got a gift.”

“Congrats, Lionel,” Sameen said, “I’ll be your reference for beauty school.”

Lionel scoffed and lunged for her, shoving her out of the room. Root watched them wrestle in the hall. Her phone buzzed.

“Hey, guys, Joss says she and Zoe are out front.”

Sameen shoved Lionel off her towards the stairs and the group headed down.

Mrs. Reese caught them at the front door, waving a digital camera. “I want a picture of my kids!”

Root swallowed, feeling out of place. She pushed her way to the front of the group and stood next to Mrs. Reese. She smiled at her friends, ignoring the frown on Sameen’s face.

“Honey,” Mrs. Reese pushed Root back towards the others, “Get in there!”

Root blinked back tears, trying to subtly wipe her face. She hadn’t expected Mrs. Reese to want her in the pictures. She wasn’t related to them. She felt Sameen grab her shoulders.

“You ok?” Sameen asked, her eyes looking over Root’s face.

Root nodded, smiling. She felt really dumb, being overwhelmed at something like this.

“Hey, look at me,” Sameen demanded, shaking her slightly.

Root looked at her, surprised to see her smiling. Root couldn’t help smiling back. She laughed. “I’m ok, I promise. I just got…something in my eye.”

Sameen didn’t look like she believed her, but she nodded and dropped her hands. She glanced over at Mrs. Reese and rolled her eyes.

Mrs. Reese was filming them, the blinking light at the front of her camera giving her away. Sameen crossed her arms, but stood next to Root for the picture. The four of them stood facing Mrs. Reese.

“Oh, come on, guys! Look alive!” Mrs. Reese demanded. “Do something fun!”

Sameen took a step forward and slid into a split. Root stared down at her. She hadn’t expected Sameen to be so…flexible. Root swallowed, thoroughly impressed. Maybe Sameen could teach her how to do that.

“I’m gonna pick you up, Princess,” Lionel said, before sticking an arm under Root’s knees and sweeping her off her feet, making her squeak.

“Adorable! John, do something!”

John just shook his head and stood still, his arms hanging at his sides. Root wrapped her arms around Lionel’s neck and laughed. This was a good start to the evening.

“Alright, go ahead,” Mrs. Reese laughed, moving out of the way. She picked up their pillowcases and held them out.

Root hopped out of Lionel’s arms and ran out the door, knowing Sameen would get hers for her, and looked around for Joss and Zoe. She spotted them waving their arms across the street.

The streets were bustling with kids and parents all dressed up for Trick-or-Treating. Root loved Halloween. There was something about putting on costumes and pretending to be something else to get candy that made Root feel warm inside. Once she worked for NASA, she could be like a spy or something fun. Sameen would be good at being a spy.

“Hey, girl! You look so good!” Joss adjusted the string on her shoulder. “This was a great idea!”

Joss was dressed like a mummy, but wrapped in dental floss instead of muslin. She’d agreed to be Dental Joss for Halloween. Root had expected her to say no, she and Root were hardly close, but she’d said yes and even volunteered to make her own costume.

“Thanks for dressing up! You went above and beyond! Sameen’s just wearing a stupid T-Shirt.”

“Hey,” Sameen spoke up from behind Root, holding a pillowcase out for her to take. “At least I’m wearing it.”

Zoe leaned forward to look at the image. “Cole Slaw? Oh, I get it! Clever, Root!”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “What are you supposed to be? A drunk pirate?”

Zoe lifted her bottle of rum. “I’m Captain Morgan, dumbass. It’s very convenient, too, because I can bring this to the party later.”

“Where’d you get that?” John asked, confused. “Your brother isn’t 21 for another month, right?”

Zoe pressed her hand to her chest and turned to Joss. “He really does listen.”

“That’s so sweet,” Joss bat her eyes at John before bursting into laughter. She and Zoe high-fived.

“Bro, I think your girlfriends are going to start dating each other,” Sameen said, smiling.

“Great.”

Zoe held up the bottle again. “I got it from that kid Elias that graduated a few years ago, but still hangs around the school like a weirdo. His brother, Anthony, is 21.”

“Huh,” John’s face scrunched. “That’s illegal.”

“Yikes,” Joss said, stepping off the sidewalk and leading the group into the flow of trick-or-treaters, “Loosen up.”

The friends started down the street heading to their first house. Root watched Sameen walk on the edge of the sidewalk, arms raised to keep her balance.

When Root had decided she and Sameen were going to be friends, she wasn’t sure what to expect. Honestly, she’d thought it would fizzle out once they got any deeper than space, but she and Sameen had a lot in common. They both liked learning and having fun. Sameen was always down for adventure, but she was also cool with just hanging out.

Trying to talk about any sort of emotion was like pulling teeth, but Root was starting to realize that that’s just who Sameen was and Root could deal with it. Sameen was willing to listen, even if she wasn’t willing to talk.

The next few hours passed quickly. The friends all got a decent amount of candy and somehow the girls had convinced Lionel and John to carry it all.

Root had a lot of fun. She’d lived in Bishop her whole life, but she was just starting to feel like she belonged. Joss and Zoe were very nice and Root was sad that they were Sophomores like John; she didn’t want to think about them going to away to college.

The only trouble they encountered was Lambert and Hersch. They were dressed in SWAT uniforms, carrying large guns. Root had seen them stopping kids all night and taking their candy, but she hadn’t really expected them to stop her and her friends.

The group was leaving Mr. Finch’s house when Lambert and Hersch approached them, guns raised.

“Hold it right there,” Lambert demanded. “Give us your candy.”

Sameen stepped in front of Root, arms crossed. “Or what? There’s six of us and two of you.”

“Yeah, but we’ve got guns,” Hersch smirked. “We’re in control.”

Sameen and Lionel looked at John, who nodded. The three siblings lunged forward. Lionel grabbed Hersch’s gun and John grabbed Lambert’s. Sameen high-kicked Lambert in the chin, knocking him out. She steadied herself has Hersch came at her and used his own momentum to throw him over her hip onto the ground. She stomped on his stomach.

“See you guys at the party,” Sameen laughed, snatched their bags of candy off the ground. “Losers.”

She hopped over Hersch and walked into the street. Root scrambled after her.

“That was amazing! You were so cool! You just kicked him in the face!” Root laughed and mimed throwing punches. “Seriously, you gotta teach me!”

Sameen stopped walking and looked at Root. “I did TaeKwonDo for like eight years. It’s not just learning punches.”

Root tried to look serious. “I know. Inner Focus, totally.”

“Shut up,” Sameen said, scrunching her face. “Dork.” She turned and dumped the bullies’ bags of candy on the ground. “FREE CANDY!”

She and Root backed up as kids came running to the pile, reclaiming what was theirs. Root looked at Sameen, surprised.

“You didn’t want it?”

Sameen just shrugged. “Wasn’t mine.”

“Hey, guys!” Joss called from the sidewalk, “We should head to Martine’s.”

“Hate that bitch,” Sameen muttered, but led Root back to their group.

Martine lived half a mile away, in the new subdivision. Root looked up at her house. It wasn’t right to call it a house. It was a mansion, looming and modern. Things like this always made Root grateful that no one really knew about her home. Everyone knew her mother was a drunk, but they didn’t know about the peeling paint, the rusty water, and the rotting floorboards.

She sighed and followed her friends inside. Immediately, she felt overwhelmed. There must have been magic on the doorway because when John opened it, a wave of sound burst through, deafening Root. Sameen grabbed her hand and led her into the party. Almost everyone from school was there and even people Root didn’t recognize. Leave it to Martine to find the only college kids in town to bring to her party.

Root and Sameen walked around for a while before grabbing a drink in the kitchen. There didn’t seem to be anything non-alcoholic, so they grabbed a couple beers and headed back to the sitting room. Sameen plopped down on the couch and put her feet on the expensive looking table. Root sat down next to her.

“This is how kids our age have fun?” Root asked, looking around. “What are you supposed to do?”

“Get drunk and make-out,” Sameen answered, taking a sip of her drink.

“Well,” Root blushed, “I’m not going to make-out.”

Sameen glanced around at the people in the party. “Yeah, there aren’t even any cute boys here.”

“Right,” Root nodded, swallowing hard, “no cute boys.”

They noticed Martine coming towards them, solo cup in her hand. Sameen leaned forward and put her beer down on the table. She stood up, looking down at Root.

“That’s my cue for a bathroom break.”

Root watched her walk passed Martine and smiled. Sameen and Martine were a lot alike, but Sameen made an effort to be civil, if not nice. Martine was content to be a bitch. Root had to admit that the long, blonde hair and skimpy clothing thing worked for her.

“Hey, Sam,” Martine said, sitting delicately on the couch. She rested her elbow on the back. “How’s it going?”

“Um,” Root tried to smile, “Good?”

“Is that a question?” Martine laughed.

“No, uh, No. I’m good.”

“That’s good.” Martine ran her eyes over Root. “What are you?”

“Root 66. Because of my nickname, you know.” Root nervously picked at the label on her bottle. “Like the road.”

“I get it!” Martine laughed, lightly hitting Root’s arm. “That’s clever. So…” she pointed to a picture on Root’s leg. “what’s this?”

Root swallowed, suddenly aware of how close Martine was sitting to her. “Um, That’s the Wigwam Motel. The rooms are shaped like tepees.”

“Wow,” Martine said, dragging her finger up Root’s leg to another picture, “That’s really cool. Can I ask you a question?”

“You just did,” Root joked, cursing the waver in her voice. She couldn’t tell if Martine was flirting with her or just trying to make her nervous. Root hoped this wasn’t some sort of plan to embarrass her at the party.

“Clever, but you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, um, sure. Ask away.” Root took a sip of her beer, wincing at the bitter taste.

“Well,” Martine started, casually glancing around the party, “A few of us have noticed you spending a lot of time with Sameen lately. We were wondering if you two were dating.”

Root swallowed, feeling her face turn red. Of course she’d imagined dating Sameen before, but they were just friends. She wasn’t even sure she liked girls like that. She was probably too young to know for sure, right? Hanna had kissed her once a couple of years ago and Root could swear her lips had literally tingled, but that was just because of nerves, right?

“We’re not judging, if you are,” Martine clarified, reaching up to twirl a finger in Root’s hair. “We’re just…I’m just wondering.”

“We’re not,” Root said and took another gulp of beer. “We’re just friends.”

“Oh,” Martine pouted, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?”

“Yeah, I’m sorry, but I’m glad that you’re not dating.”

Root licked her lips. “You, you are?”

Martine nodded, leaning closer. “Mm-Hmm.”

Root wasn’t sure what was happening, but she felt like she was on fire. “Wh-Uh, Why?”

Martine was really close to her now and Root could feel her breath on her face. Martine pushed Root’s hair back and leaned in brushing their lips together. Root felt her heart stop as Martine’s hand moved to the back of Root’s head pushing them closer. Root let her eyes flutter shut.

She didn’t like Martine that much as a person, but she couldn’t help the feeling in her stomach. Her lips were soft and sweet and Root reached a hand out to grasp Martine’s shirt. When Martine pulled away, Root had to stop herself from following her. Movement behind Martine caught Root’s eye.

Sameen was standing at the entrance to the sitting room, a red cup crushed in her hands. She didn’t seem to notice the liquid dripping to the floor. Her eyes were focused on Root’s face. She looked shocked.

Root watched her face smooth into a blank expression and stood up, Martine forgotten. Sameen threw her cup to the floor and turned on the spot, disappearing into the crowd.

“Oh, no…Do you think she saw?” Martine asked from the couch, her hand coming up to play with Root’s.

Root snatched her hand out of Martine’s grasp, her face twisted with rage. She turned to tower over Martine.

“How fucking dare you,” she swore, her hands clenching. “I will end you.”

“Big words from a skinny bitch.”

Root was going to wipe the smug look from Martine’s face. She lunged forward, but felt strong arms wrap around her. Someone was pulling her away and moving her towards the door.

“Put me down!” she demanded, beating her fists against the arms, her legs kicking in the air. “I’m going to kill her!”

“Enough,” John’s voice came from above her. “We’re getting you out of here.”

Root struggled all the way outside, cursing at all the kids staring at her, cursing at John, cursing at Martine. John carried her all the way across the street and dropped her to the grass. Root stared at the ground in front of her, seething.

“Sweetie, I’m sorry,” Joss said, sitting next to her. “We’ll get her back, I promise.”

Root took a deep breath, hot tears streaming down her face. “Sameen is never going to talk to me again.”

“Why do you say that?” Zoe questioned, pulling a handkerchief from somewhere. “Are you girlfriends?”

“No,” Root said, letting Zoe wipe her face, “but her face…I haven’t even told her I like girls. I mean, I don’t even know if I like girls, but Martine is her enemy and I kissed her and Sameen hates me now.”

Lionel looked around. “Where’d she even go?”

“She disappeared,” John answered. “I don’t know.”

“Look, Root,” Joss said, pulling Root’s face up and smoothing her hair, “Shaw is your best friend and she’ll forgive you if you apologize.”

“I have to go apologize!” Root climbed to her feet and looked around. “Where would she go?”

“Home?” John guessed, shrugging his shoulder.

“She’s probably already there,” Zoe said. “Girl is fast.”

“Ok, I’m going to find her.” Root looked at all of them. “Stay here. Enjoy Halloween. I’ll talk to Sameen.”

“Are you sure?” Zoe asked, running her hand down Root’s arm.

Root nodded, taking a deep breath. “Yeah. It’s fine. I just have to explain.”

“Ok, text me when you’re all good,” Joss said.

“I will.”

Root raced down the street towards Sameen’s house.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root stared up at Sameen’s window, watching her pace back and forth. She didn’t know what she was going to say because she didn’t know why Sameen was so mad. Was it because Root hadn’t told her she liked girls? Was it because it was Martine?

Maybe Root could start by apologizing for not coming out and then apologize for Martine and then apologize for something else, just cover all of her bases. She could promise never to kiss anyone ever again.

Root sighed and rubbed her face. She didn’t know what to do. She looked back up at the window and froze. Sameen was staring at her.

Sameen disappeared from the window and Root sighed again, looking down at the ground. Great. Now Sameen thought Root was stalking her or something. Maybe Root wasn’t destined to have friends. Root was probably going to be alone forever.

“Hey.”

Root looked up. Sameen had come outside and was standing across the lawn from her.

“Hey!” Root smiled, trying to stay calm. “Um, I…”

Sameen crossed her arms. Her hair blew in a cool wind, her dark eyes unreadable. “What?”

“I’m sorry,” Root said, holding out her arms, “For, um, whatever part of the kissing made you mad.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “I’m not mad at you.”

“You’re not?” Root asked, not believing her. “Then why did you leave?”

Sameen looked down, digging her toes into the grass. “I…” She scowled and dropped her arms. “Why did you kiss Martine? Are you gay?”

“Um,” Root looked away, trying to form a coherent thought, “I…don’t know.” She started to sweat in the hot, October air and knew Sameen would tease her for her thick bodysuit. If they were still friends after this. “That’s the truth.” She looked back at Sameen, sucking in a shaking breath. “I don’t know. I like looking at girls, and I guess the person I see myself with forever is…a girl. I don’t know, though. I just…I don’t know.”

Sameen looked at her for a moment before sighing. She ran a hand over her ponytail, thinking everything over. Root’s heart raced as watched Sameen thinking. She threaded her fingers together, her knuckles white. Finally, Sameen nodded and closed the distance between them.

“It’s ok, Root,” she said, giving her a half smile. “I’m sorry I ran away. I’m not mad at you and I don’t care if you’re gay.”

Root smiled, and unclasped her hands, her whole body shaking with nerves. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure,” Sameen rolled her eyes. “Just…Don’t kiss my rival next time, ok?”

Root grinned, laughing with relief. She held her hand out for Sameen to shake. “Deal!”

Sameen hit her hand away and hugged Root. Root tensed. Sameen had never hugged her once in their three months of friendship. Before Root could get herself together to hug her back, Sameen stepped away, coughing into her fist.

“Let’s get you inside,” Sameen said, nodding to her front door. “You’re shaking like a leaf.”

“Sorry,” Root apologized, following her into the house.

“Don’t apologize, Dummy.” Sameen punched Root on the arm. “We really need to work on your nerves.”

“Only if you teach me that high kick thing, too!”

Sameen pulled the door shut behind them and scoffed. “I can’t give away all of my tricks.”

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root flipped the light off on her way into the room. She tied her wet her into a knot on her head as she crawled onto the bed. She’d taken a shower to calm down and now she felt exhausted. Sameen pulled back the comforter so she could climb in.

“Thanks,” Root said, tucking her legs under the quilt and pulling it up.

“No problem,” Sameen mumbled, already falling asleep. “You ok?”

Root nodded and adjusted herself. Her arm accidentally brushed against Sameen’s stomach and Root realized Sameen wasn’t wearing a shirt. She was wearing her usual sleepwear of a sports bra and work out shorts. She hadn’t changed at all after Root came out to her.

Root smiled at the warm feeling in her chest. “Yeah. I’m ok.”

“Great. Then I’m going to sleep.” Sameen closed her eyes and started snoring immediately.

Root laughed softly and turned over. She was ok.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I never plugged my tumblr: Maybesomedaysameen  
> Come talk to me, if you want!


	6. As You Are

“I don’t think we can do two rooms. The tree is big, but not that big.”

Sameen pointed out the window. “We could do two rooms if we build vertically.”

Root laid back on the bed, content to let Sameen and the boys argue about how to build their treehouse. They wanted to build it over Winter Break. It was about a week before Thanksgiving and Root hadn’t decided if she was going to try to make Thanksgiving for her mother. Would her mother even be home?

She felt bad about spending so much time at Sameen’s sometimes. She couldn’t take care of her mother as much as she used to, but it didn’t seem to have made much of a difference. As long as she was home enough to steal money to pay the bills, it didn’t seem to matter what she did. Root had been taking care of her mother for years now and she deserved a break.

“What do you think, Root?” Lionel asked her from the window.

Root sat up and shrugged. “I can make a 3D model on my computer and come up with some plans.”

“Sweet,” Lionel held out his fist for a bump. “You’re really good with computers, huh?”

Root and Sameen laughed. Root was more than really good with computers.

Sameen crossed her arms. “Remember that test you had a few weeks ago? That you thought you’d failed?”

“Yeah,” Lionel shrugged, “so what? I did better than expected.”

“No, you didn’t. Root changed your grade for you so they wouldn’t call Mrs. Reese.”

Lionel looked at Root with wide eyes. “You hacked into the school?”

“Into the school’s grading system, yes,” Root confirmed, smiling. “I have to look out for my friends.”

Lionel jumped forward, throwing his arms around Root and knocking her to the bed. “Thank you!”

“Lionel, get off her!” Sameen grabbed the back of his shirt and hauled him off Root. She pushed him towards the window. “Weirdo.”

Lionel stuck his tongue out. John stuck his head out of the window, craning his neck to look at the sky.

“Hey, I think it’s going to rain,” he said, holding his arm out.

Mrs. Reese walked into the room, pulling her raincoat on. “Kids, Hurricane Samuel changed course. It’s going to make landfall in a couple of hours. We need to get some supplies. Root, honey, do you need to get things from home?”

Root jumped off the bed, panicking. She hadn’t prepared her house at all. She’d been so busy with her friends and Science Bowl that she didn’t do her normal hurricane season prep. She started grabbing her things.

“I have to go home! We’re not ready!”

Mrs. Reese stepped into the room, pulling Root’s arm, making her face her. “Honey, calm down. You kids can take my car.” She looked at John. “Get those spare containers from the office. You can help Root pack up. The car keys are on the hook.”

John nodded and gestured for Lionel to follow him. Sameen put Root’s wallet and keys into her pockets and nodded to Mrs. Reese.

“I’m going to go to the store with Grace. Call me if you need anything.” Mrs. Reese said, letting go of Root.

She led them downstairs and handed Sameen some money before leaving the house. Root stood in the hallway not sure what to do. Sameen ran into the kitchen and came back with a box of trashbags and a roll of duct tape. She handed Root a raincoat and led her outside. Root looked up at the rapidly darkening sky, pulling the raincoat on. Hopefully they could be back before the storm started.

“Come on!” John called over the wind, waving the girls to the car.

Lionel was putting the last of the plastic tubs into the truck of Mrs. Reese’s Escalade. Sameen opened the passenger seat for Root, waited for her to step in and shut the door. Root stared out the windshield, her stomach heavy.

It was bad enough all her friends knew she was poor, but now they were going to see the inside of her house. She should be grateful that they were so willing to help her, but she just wanted to tell them to wait outside.

John asked her for her address and they sped off. Root watched the town race by and remembered that she should call her mom.

She pulled out her phone and dialed her mom’s cell. There was no answer. Root looked through her contacts, pulling up the number for Hersch’s, the bar where her mother worked. Nobody answered there either. Root sighed and dropped her phone into the cup holder.

Should she look for her mother if she wasn’t in the house? What would happen if her mom got caught outside, drunk, when the hurricane hit? Root sighed heavily and dropped her head back against the seat. She was going to prep her house as best she could and that would have to be enough.

The car slowed and Root blinked, surprised. She had lost track of the time. She opened her car door and circled to the back of the car.

“Go on in,” John said, nodding to the house. “You should do a quick inventory of what you think should be packed away. We’ll use the trash bags to cover windows and then push all the furniture to the center of the room.”

Root shrugged. “There’s not a lot to move, but sounds like a plan. Thanks.”

She caught the keys Sameen tossed to her and started towards the house. Hopping onto the porch, Root looked down at the steps next to her. She turned back to the car.

“Don’t use the stairs, just hop up.” She winced as they studied the rotting steps and looked away.

She unlocked the house, pushing the door open and slipping a shoe underneath to hold it open. Walking down the hallway, she felt like she was seeing the house for the first time. Every dirty floorboard and stained wall weighed on her. She turned right into the living room and felt nauseous.

It smelled like cigarettes and bourbon, like something had died. This was where her mother normally slept, what her mother smelled like. There was only a couch and broken TV in the living room. The empty space mocked her and reminded her of her father’s absence.

Root had sold almost all the furniture in her house to keep them out of foreclosure. They were close to owning the house, only a few payments left. She moved to the dining room, staring at the dirty walls. Squares of clean wallpaper pointed out every piece of artwork she’d sold. Her mother used to love hanging pictures of lakes and birds, an oasis in the desert.

She heard her friends come through the door and stepped through a doorway arch to the main hall, wiping her face. At some point, she’d started crying. She smiled at them.

“Um, there isn’t too much to pack away. I’ll take a couple boxes up to my room, if you guys could start on the windows?”

The boys nodded and Sameen took a few containers from John and followed Root up the stairs. The boys moved to the kitchen to start covering the windows. Root led Sameen to her room, finding the key on her ring to unlock the door. She pushed it open, the usual squeak of the hinges sounding like thunder.

“I want to, uh, pack my electronics,” Root said, pushing her hair behind her ear nervously. “And the books.”

Sameen nodded, looking around the room silently, her face neutral. Root didn’t have to read her to know what she was thinking. She was thinking that Root’s house was disgusting and she wanted to reconsider their friendship.

“I like your bedspread,” Sameen commented, putting the containers down and separating them. “Where’d you get it? I want one.”

Root glanced at her sheets. They were galaxy print, dark and purple. She’d found them in a dumpster a few years ago.

“Target,” she lied, stacking the pieces of her computer-in-progress and carefully putting them into a container.

They worked in silence. Sameen packed away Root’s books and rolled up her posters. Root gathered her electronics and packed them away. When everything was put away, Root grabbed the last empty tub and laid on the floor next to her bed. She started pulling out her food collection of energy bars, cereal, crackers, tuna fish, and dropping them in.

She tried to ignore the feeling of Sameen’s eyes on her back. She wondered if Sameen was thinking back to a few months ago, before their friendship, when they’d run into each other at the store. Root had been buying supplies.

Root sat up, looking into the tub. She smiled up at Sameen. “Mrs. Reese shouldn’t have bothered shopping. I’m basically a one girl hurricane supply center.”

Sameen didn’t smile back. She just kept looking at Root with dark, impassive eyes. Root scowled.

“I don’t need your pity, Sameen.” She jerked the plastic lid off the bed and slammed it onto her box, popping all the sides in.

“I don’t pity you. I admire your strength.”

“Well, stop it.” Root glared at her. “I don’t like being looked at like I’m pathetic.”

Sameen looked away, her face unchanging. “I’m going to put these boxes in your closet.”

Root nodded, watching her slide the first box in. She remembered something and climbed across the bed.

“Hold on, I need to grab something.”

Sameen stopped and let her go into the closet. Root moved the box out of the way and knelt, wiggling up a floorboard. She pulled out shoebox. It was full of her memories of Hanna and her dad. She never looked at them, but she couldn’t bring herself to throw them away.

She stepped out of the closet and nodded to Sameen, crossing the room to her desk. She put the box down and slid the desk forward a couple of feet. Squeezing behind it, she squatted down and pulled the back panel off one side. She grabbed her box of spare cash and pushed the panel back.

The boys walked into the room as she was standing.

“We finished the other rooms,” John said, tossing the box of trash bags and tape onto Root’s bed. “Any boxes you’re bringing back to our place? Lionel and I can bring them down if you’ll do this window.”

“Just these two,” Root gestured to her box of food and the box holding her computer project. “Thanks.”

The boys nodded and picked up the boxes. Root watched them leave her room and sighed. If anything happened to her house, she didn’t know what she’d do. They obviously couldn’t afford any repairs.

Sameen picked up the roll of bags from the bed and started covering Root’s window. Root pulled a duffel bag out from under her bed and threw some clothing inside. She slid the box of memories and the box of money inside. If she pretended like this was a normal sleepover, maybe everything would be ok.

“Ready?” Sameen asked, standing by the door. She was holding Root’s favorite stuffed animal, a black vampire bat. She noticed Root looking at it and held it up, shaking it. “You didn’t tell me about your friend here.”

Root laughed, throwing her bag over her shoulder. “It’s not exactly cool to sleep with a stuffed animal.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and led the way downstairs. “You don’t care about being cool.”

“What if I did?” Root asked, closing the front door behind her and handing her bag to Sameen so she could lock it.

“Well, I wouldn’t have joined Science Bowl for starters,” Sameen said. “I would have joined the soccer team.”

Root pushed her off the porch, giggling. They got into the car and started back to the house. The sky had darkened while they were at Root’s house, looking almost black despite it only being 4 o’clock.

They pulled up to the house just as Mrs. Reese was unlocking the door, her arms full of supplies. Lionel ran to help her as John and the girls got Root’s stuff out of the car. They went inside, starting up the stairs. Mrs. Reese came out of the kitchen and stopped them.

“Leave that in the living room for now, we need to get ready.” She instructed, pulling her raincoat off. “John, Lionel, you two start pulling the shutters closed. Girls, can you pull in the pool furniture?”

The kids nodded and split up. Root followed Sameen out into the screen-covered pool area. They dragged the chairs into the house, leaving them stacked in the small changing room. They were pulling the pool cover across the water when it started drizzling. Finishing as quickly as possible, they ran inside and made for the kitchen.

Mrs. Reese smiled at them pouring the last of a bag of ice into a cooler. “You girls done?”

“Yup,” Sameen said, pulling two sodas out of the fridge. “Are the boys done?”

“We are,” John answered, walking into the kitchen. “What now?”

Mrs. Reese shrugged. “Now we wait.”

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Sameen glanced across the living room to look at Root, who had been staring down at the couch for almost half an hour. She wondered what was going through her head. Sameen had never been very good at reading people. It was usually ok, because Root was so expressive, but now, she looked…empty. That’s the best word Sameen could think of to describe her.

Sameen looked back at the TV, picking at her blanket. They’d set up camp in the living room, rearranging the couches and laying down sleeping bags. Root had claimed the long couch, pouting until John volunteered to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag.

Sameen had offered to take the other sleeping bag, saying that Lionel would probably snore if he didn’t sleep on the couch. Honestly, she slept on the floor for selfish reasons. The last time she’d slept on the couch had been at her own house, the night before she and her father had taken to the road on their trip. Sleeping on the floor eliminated any potential nightmare situation.

Sameen rolled onto her back, stretching her neck to watch The X-Files upside down. Root had brought her DVDs over a while back, so they could watch it on TV instead of her laptop. Usually, they watched it alone, but under the circumstances, they let the boys join in on their marathon.

“So, the guy is Scully and the girl is Mulder, right?” Lionel asked from his seat on the couch, using his phone as it charged.

“No,” Sameen rolled her eyes. “The other way around.”

“Huh,” Lionel snorted. “But they’re dating.”

“Nope,” John said, sitting on his sleeping bag.

“So, they spend…what season is this? Four years together and they don’t date?”

Root finally spoke up. “They spend ten years together and don’t date.”

“That’s crazy.” Lionel squinted at his phone. “I couldn’t wait that long. If you’re friends and you like each other, just date!”

Sameen stopped herself from looking at Root, reminding herself that Root kissed Martine and not her. If Root liked her, she’d have said something. Root didn’t hold anything back.

Sameen shrugged and turned back to the TV. “We should make those pizzas now before the power goes out.”

She stood up and headed for the kitchen. Mrs. Reese was in her room, calling everyone she knew and making sure they were all ok. Sameen walked into the kitchen and turned the oven on to preheat; she made frozen pizza so often, she knew every step by heart.

She heard someone walk into the kitchen and looked up. Root smiled at her and hopped up onto the counter, stretching her legs out to rest her feet on the island. Sameen nodded to her and pulled three pizzas out. She unwrapped them and slid them into the oven, checking the time.

“How’s it going?” she asked Root, looking at her finger nails.

“Fine,” Root replied. “I love storms.”

“I hate them,” Sameen grumbled, leaning her arms on the island. “I used to hate the loud thunder, but now I just hate being trapped inside.”

“I love the thunder. I love the way the sky gets dark and cloudy and the air feels charged. I always wanna run around in the rain.”

“Well, you can do that. I’ll sit on the porch with a towel,” Sameen joked.

“Deal,” Root laughed. She ran her eyes over Sameen. It made Sameen’s stomach feel warm and she shifted uncomfortably.

“What?” Sameen asked, glancing at the time again. Only a few minutes left.

“Nothing,” Root said, shaking her head. “Are you ever going to cut your hair?”

Sameen reached behind her back, playing with the end of her ponytail. Even tied up, her hair hung almost to her butt. She shrugged and opened a cabinet under the island. “Maybe. It’s not really bothering me.” She pulled out baking sheets and spread them out.

Root nodded and dropped her feet, lightly kicking against the counter’s cabinets. “I might dye mine brown soon. Since the roots are coming in dark anyway.”

Sameen nodded and turned to pull the pizzas out of the oven. “Do you want to do anything tonight? Besides X-Files?”

“Maybe. No real ideas.”

Sameen put the pizzas on the tray and turned the oven off. “Come on, let’s go check in with the boys.”

Root jumped off the counter and followed her across the house. They walked into the living room just as the power went off. Mrs. Reese came out of her room holding a flashlight.

“You kids ok?” she asked.

“We’re fine,” Sameen said, taking the flashlight John handed her. “We just made pizza. They’re cooling.”

“Ok,” Mrs. Reese said, smiling. “I’m going to bed. You kids have fun.” She winked and turned around.

Sameen waited until her door shut and turned to the boys. “Hide and Seek?”

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The next morning, they were hanging out in Sameen’s room, waiting for the all clear to go check on Root’s house. The storm had lasted through the night, rattling trees and dropping power lines. School would probably be cancelled for the next few days, not that Sameen was complaining. She hoped they’d still be able to have their soccer game next weekend. It was the second qualifying match for Championships.

For now, Sameen was content to hang out at home with Root and the boys. They’d spent the night playing hide and seek and eating pizza. Well, the pizza had only lasted an hour or so, but the games had lasted all night. When they’d finally passed out, the storm was beginning to lessen.

Now, Root was snooping around while Sameen was attempting to draw various cryptids. They’d done a pretty good Nessie earlier. Sameen put a few more spikes on her drawing and stepped back from her chalkboard to survey her work.

“Tell me again,” Sameen demanded, turning to find Root half under the bed. “The Chupacabra?”

“A fox, but also a fuzzy lizard, but also a vampire,” was the muffled response. There was a dull thud and a muffled curse before Root’s lower half started slithering backwards.

Sameen watched Root’s slim shoulders appear, then her hair tie get pulled off as she pulled her head out from under the bed. Her hands were last, holding a black box. Sameen swallowed.

“What’s this?” Root asked, putting it on the bed and pushed herself up to sit next to it. She blew off the box as she pulled her hair down.

Sameen shrugged and turned back to the chalkboard. “Nothing. Mementos.”

She heard the scrape of cardboard and waited to see what Root was going to say. She wasn’t a sentimental person, but she’d kept some pictures of her parents and an old medal her father had won in the army.

“Your mother is beautiful,” Root said behind her. “Sorry, I know you don’t like to talk about her.”

Sameen turned around and tossed the chalk onto her desk. She moved to the bed and sat down, crossing her legs. Root held out the picture she was holding.

“She was really kind. That’s what I remember the most. She never pressured me to be like other kids.”

Root dug through the box. “Do…I pressure you?”

“What?” Sameen looked at her. “You pressure me to punch you.”

Root laughed and snatched the picture from Sameen’s hand and looked at it again. “Huh, their height must have skipped a generation.”

Sameen pushed Root down, throwing a leg over her and tickling her stomach. “Call me ‘short’ one more time.”

Root laughed, her legs kicking behind Sameen. “Short,” she gasped, eyes watering.

Sameen ran her hands up and down Root’s sides, refusing to relent until Root gave in. Root’s bare legs were soft under her own. Root threw her arms up in surrender.

“Uncle!” Root screamed. “Uncle!”

Sameen laughed and rolled to the side, dropping down next to Root on the bed. She sighed and put her arms behind her head. She could hear Root panting beside her.

She turned her head to look at Root. “You don’t pressure me, Root. I like being friends.”

Root smiled back at her. “Me too.”

There was a knock on the door and Mrs. Reese entered with her phone. She smiled at the girls as they sat up.

“Root, Principal McCarthy called. She says that your mom spent the storm at Hersch’s in their stock room.”

Sameen looked at Root, watching her slump with relief. She hadn’t thought that Root might have felt guilty about leaving her mom out in the storm. Sameen frowned. Root’s mother let Root take care of her, even though she was only 14.

Sameen might not be the best at emotion, but her parents had supported her and loved her. Root’s mother just caused pain and Sameen wasn’t sure where Root’s father was. She ran her eyes over Root’s face. Whatever she was feeling towards Root, she had to keep it to herself. Root needed a friend, not some complicated mess.

Root looked at her expectantly. Sameen realized she’d hadn’t been listening.

“Sorry, what?”

Root laughed at her. “Mrs. Reese said we can take our bikes to my house to check it out.”

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Root looked over at Sameen. They were riding back to Sameen’s house. Root’s house was fine, so they’d just taken down the garbage bags. Sameen still hadn’t said anything about what Root’s house looked like on the inside and Root was starting to think that maybe she wouldn’t say anything at all.

Root watched Sameen lazily ride her bike around a rock and smiled. Maybe, if Root still had this crush in a few months, she’d say something to Sameen, once she was really sure she liked her like that. Maybe Sameen would even be receptive.

Root pedaled harder to catch up.

“Can I ask a personal question?” Sameen asked her, sitting up straight on her bike.

“Sure.”

“Where’s your dad?”

Root looked down at her handlebar, twisting her hands. “He left. About three years ago. Moved to Dallas, met a new woman, got married.”

“I’m sorry,” Sameen said, squinting against the sun. “That sucks.”

Root shrugged, breathing in the cool, wet wind as it blew against her face. “I mean, it’s whatever now, I guess. I kind of hate him, but it’s not like I’m going to order 30 pizzas on the 13th of every month to be delivered to his house or something.”

Sameen laughed, leaning over to punch Root’s arm. “You could do a lot of damage with those skills of yours.”

“Well,” Root smirked, “Just don’t make me mad. I could, like, cancel the soccer championships or something. Pre-emptively make you fail your SATs.”

“You would hold a grudge.”

“Oh, definitely,” Root confirmed, taking her hands off her bike to tie her hair up. “I could fuck you up.”

Sameen smiled softly. “Ok, I’ll make sure never to upset you.”

“Just don’t like disappear for nine months without a word or something. I’d be forced to track you down and kill your kidnappers.”

“That is specific.”

“I just…” Root started, licking her lips and dropping her hands back on her bike. “I keep thinking about bad situations. Like, what would happen if my house got destroyed? Or my mom drank herself to death?” Sameen glanced over at her, but Root just kept looking ahead, her eyes on the dissipating clouds. “What would I do?”

“Mrs. Reese would adopt you.”

“I’m being serious,” Root scowled.

“Me too,” Sameen said, putting her hands in her pockets, balancing on her bike. “She’d adopt you.”

“Yeah?” Root asked, feeling a little relieved. She always felt so unsteady about her future, like she wasn’t even real.

“Yes. In a heartbeat.” Sameen smiled at her, but then frowned, distracted. She slowed her bike to a stop, looking around. “Do you hear that?”

Root stopped, dropping her foot to steady herself. She didn’t hear anything.

“Come on,” Sameen turned her bike and headed down a side street on their left.

Root followed her, racing to keep up. When Sameen stopped suddenly, Root had to slam the brakes, hopping on one leg to keep from falling over. She kicked out her kickstand and walked to where Sameen had crouched.

There was a small dog stuck in the gutter; its front paws and head the only thing visible. He was whining at them, his eyes scared.

“The water must have swept him away,” Root said as Sameen reached down, gently wrapping her hands around him. “Can you get him?”

Sameen nodded and pushed the dog up out of the gutter. She lifted him into her arms, ignoring the water dripping down her shirt. The dog was tiny, clearly only a few months old. His fur was dark, but Root guessed that it was a light brown when dry. She didn’t know enough about dogs to guess his breed.

“Let’s get him home,” Sameen said, adjusting her grip so she could carry the dog in one arm.

Root nodded and hurried to her bike. She watched Sameen start pedaling, one hand on the handlebar and one lightly scratching the dog’s chin. If Mrs. Reese let Sameen keep the dog, Sameen was going to be the best mom ever. Root wondered what this would do to their sleeping arrangements.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter is Christmas. Then, it's some good old-fashioned ghost hunting!


	7. It's Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent like 3 hours coming up with all the presents. They didn't all get into the story, so I'm going to put a full list in the notes at the end.

Root ran down the stairs, heels in her hand. She was on her way to Sameen’s for Thanksgiving. Mrs. Reese had told her it was a casual event, but to dress up. ‘There are very few reasons to get dolled up,’ Mrs. Reese had said, ‘so we always dress up for the holidays.’

Root pulled her cardigan off the hook near the door. She reached for the door, but had to jump back when it opened suddenly. Her mom stumbled into the house, dropping her purse on the side table.

“Oh, Samantha,” her mother said, reeking of alcohol. “I didn’t expect you.”

Root rolled her eyes and stepped away. “I live here.”

“Right, of course.” Her mother staggered past her heading for the living room. “Hey,” she said, turning to looked at Root, “isn’t it your birthday?”

Root tensed. “In a week.”

“You’re almost a woman, Samantha,” her mother said, falling back onto the couch. “Almost 21.”

“I’m 14, Mom. Turning 15.”

“Right, right,” her mother drunkenly waved her hand in the air. “I got you a present. It’s in my purse.”

She hesitated, trying to decide if it was worth it to humor her mother. Root didn’t want to do anything that could ruin her dress and she knew how terrible that was, but she was trying to be happy and her mother always ruined everything.

“Samantha!” Her mother screamed. “Look in my purse!”

“Ok!” Root screamed back, her good mood gone. She reached into her mother’s purse and pulled out a bottle of something brown. “You got me alcohol?”

“I got me alcohol!”

Root sighed. “Then what is my present?”

Her mother sat up, frowning. “A present for what?”

“Why do I even bother?” Root mumbled to herself. “I’m taking this.”

“No! Give it to me!” Her mother screamed. Her eyes rolled back in her head and she passed out, falling backwards on the couch.

Root rolled her eyes, took some money from her mother’s purse, and left the house. She put her shoes and the bottle of whatever into the basket on the front her bike and headed for Sameen’s house. Mrs. Reese would probably appreciate the gift.

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“Happy Birthday!” John called as Root walked into the arcade.

It was a couple weeks after Thanksgiving and Mrs. Reese had booked the rink for a few hours so they could all celebrate Root’s birthday.

“Wow! Root, you look great!” Joss complimented her.

Root ran a hand self-consciously through her new brown hair as she walked through the arcade to the skating rink. Root looked around at the long table her friends had covered in a bright green table cloth and the balloons taped around the rink.

Root stopped next to the table. “Thanks. Sameen dyed it for me.”

“My gift,” Sameen said from beside her. “Since I’m still saving up for Christmas.”

Root smiled at her. Christmas was a few weeks away and they were all still saving up. Root had everyone’s gifts already, but she was still working on Sameen’s. It was taking longer than she expected, but there was time.

“Root’s here!” Joss called to Zoe and Lionel who were racing around the rink.

Mrs. Reese appeared with a cake. “Normally, we do cake and presents at the end, but I know you kids. If I tried to keep you from the cake, someone would hold me at gun point until I relented.”

They laughed and sat around the table. Mrs. Reese put the cake in front of Root and lit the candles. Root watched her friends start singing and smiled. She didn’t know what to wish for. It felt like everything she could want was already hers. Friends, good grades, she hadn’t been hungry in weeks.

Root took a deep breath and blew her candles out, not sure what her wish was. She just wanted everything to last forever. When the candles were out, Sameen patted her on the back and pulled a cake knife from somewhere.

“Here,” Lionel said, handing her a poorly wrapped present, “Open mine while she’s cutting.”

Root tore open the gift, laughing as she held it up. Lionel had gotten her a shirt that said ‘I Want To Believe.’ She laughed.

“I got it because I want you to believe in ghosts,” Lionel said, smirking.

Root laughed at him. “It’s from the X-Files, dummy. It’s about aliens.”

“Huh,” Lionel huffed. “Well, you like the X-Files, so it’s still a good gift.”

“It’s a great gift, Lionel. Thank you.”

“Us next!” Zoe said, handing Root a bag.

“Oh! Make-up!” Root pulled out a clear case. She could see nail polish, eyeliner, and a couple of other things. “Thank you!”

Joss sighed, sounding relieved. “We pooled our money together to buy you some quality stuff. You’re going to look so cool! Especially after Shaw gets you – oof!”

Sameen elbowed Joss in the side, glaring at her. Root giggled at them.

“I love it, thank you.” She said, putting the make-up back in the bag. She dropped the shirt in there, too. “John?”

John handed her a rolled-up poster. “I, um, googled female scientists. I thought you might like this one.”

Root rolled the rubber band off the poster and pulled it open. It was a large poster of Ada Lovelace, an English mathematician and the first computer programmer. She was one of Root’s heroes.

Sameen looked at the poster over Root’s shoulder. “John, dude, you’re supposed to buy lesbians pictures of hot women. This could be your grandma.”

“It’s Ada Lovelace, Sameen,” Root corrected her. “She’s a hero and a pioneer in the field of Computer Science.”

“Oh,” Sameen shrugged, “cool.”

Mrs. Reese slid a box across the table, pushing Root’s plate of cake out of the way. “Here, my gift.”

Root smiled at her, feeling warm. Mrs. Reese really felt like her mother sometimes. Although, that would make her and Sameen sisters, sort of, and that was weird to think about.

“Thanks,” Root said, pulling the wrapping on the box. She opened the flaps and stared down at Ghost Adventures: The Complete Collection. She looked up at Mrs. Reese and smiled weakly. “Thanks. I’ve never seen them.”

“What?” Mrs. Reese turned to Lionel. “You said it was her favorite show.”

Lionel shrugged. “It’s going to be.” He leaned towards Root. “Please, Root. Just watch it. You’ll love it so much, you’ll build an EMF detector right away! I’ve already scouted out some places we can go ghost hunting.”

Root squinted at him, enjoying the way he squirmed. After a minute, she grinned. “I’m just kidding, Lionel. We can watch it tonight.”

Sameen groaned as everyone laughed. “Please don’t get into ghost hunting. We already hardly sleep.”

Root laughed and ate her cake, incredibly happy. She shoved the last of the cake into her mouth and grabbed Sameen, rising to her feet. She pulled the fork out of Sameen’s mouth, laughing.

“Come on!” Root said, laughing. “I wanna skate!”

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Root stretched her legs in front of her, leaning back on her elbows and staring up at the sky. They’d only managed to build the floor of the treehouse before Christmas, but it turned out to be a great place to look at the stars.

Root looked to her right where Sameen was sitting, her legs crossed in front of her, Bear asleep in her lap. Sameen was playing with the bracelet Mrs. Reese had given her. Root looked down at her own wrist, at the matching bracelet she’d gotten from Mrs. Reese.

They’d had a good dinner. John’s relatives had remembered her from Thanksgiving and his weird aunty Marla had given Root a hug so big, it’d lifted her off the ground. Dinner had been really delicious. Root had never seen so much food in one place before. She’d had to make a conscious effort not to make herself sick.

“Do you like Orion?” Sameen asked, making Root look at her. “The constellation, not the myth.”

Root grinned. “It’s my favorite constellation. I love the image of a great hunter in the sky, pointing his arrow to the future.”

“I guess,” Sameen said, shrugging. “I like it, too. I always find myself looking for his belt. Even in the summer.”

Root sat up, pulling on the edges of her new leather jacket. Sameen had gotten it for her, saying it would raise Root’s cool factor enough to be seen in public with her. Root didn’t take her seriously; they’d been hanging out for months after all.

Sameen sighed. “I hope Mrs. Reese gets me a car for my 16th birthday. I’m so jealous of John.”

“Are you going to get your learner’s permit on your birthday?”

“Probably,” Sameen said, gently shifting Bear off her lap and onto the deck. She shifted onto her knees and peeked down at the boys tossing a baseball back and forth, testing out Lionel’s new glove. “Maybe a few days after.”

“I should do mine, too.” Root said, looking back at the sky. “I haven’t studied at all.”

“You should study more.” Sameen said, hanging her legs off the edge. “Maybe that’s why you’re only second in our class.”

“Wow, that is so-Wait.” Root tilted her head at Sameen. “How did you know I’m only second?”

Sameen glanced over her shoulder, smirking. “Because I’m first.”

“WHAT!” Root yelled, making the boys look up at her. “You sneaky bitch!”

“You girls ok?” John called up to them.

“No!” Root yelled, glaring at Sameen as she smiled smugly. “Sameen is a snake! A snake, I say!”

Sameen rolled her eyes, lightly shoving Root. “It’s Christmas. Can’t we be rivals tomorrow?”

Root crossed her arms. “I guess.”

“Hey,” Lionel called up. “Drop the ladder!”

Root and Sameen glanced at the rope ladder pooled on the deck, then at each other. Root raised her eyebrows.

Sameen turned to look down at the boys. She kicked her legs lazily. “No.”

“What?” Lionel crossed his arms. “Come on, let us up.”

“Sorry,” Sameen said, shrugging, “No boys allowed.”

“I’m going to make a sign,” Root said.

Lionel threw his arms into the air. “You were enemies like 2 seconds ago.”

“Us girls have to stick together.”

“Kids?” Mrs. Reese called from the back door. “Bedtime!”

Root smiled at Sameen as she crawled to the rope ladder. She tossed it down and moved aside to let Sameen down. Sameen got up and moved towards her. She stopped in front of the ladder.

“Hey, Root?”

“Yeah?”

“Merry Christmas.”

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Root looked around Martine’s house, nervous that Sameen wouldn’t be back in time for the countdown. She’d run to the restroom. Apparently, beer makes you have to pee.

They’d ended up at Martine’s house for her New Year’s party. Sameen had decided to forgive her for being a bitch and Root just wanted to forget the whole kiss thing had even happened, so when Zoe told them about the party, they’d agreed to go.

Root sighed with relief when Sameen worked her way through the crowd. She handed her her beer when she was close enough.

“I don’t think I like beer,” Sameen said, peering into her bottle. “I mean, I drank almost this whole bottle and I’m not drunk at all.”

“Maybe you need more than one?” Root shrugged.

“Maybe,” Sameen responded, drinking the last of her bottle and putting it on the table. “How long until midnight?”

Root looked at her phone. “Less than two minutes.”

Sameen crossed her arms. “Hey, I was thinking…”

Root sipped her beer and waited for her to continue. “Yeah?”

“It’s dumb.” Sameen rolled her eyes.

“No, what is it?” Root nudged her. “Tell me.”

“Do you want to be each other’s New Year’s Kiss? As friends.”

“As friends?” Root laughed. “Do friends kiss?”

“Zoe and Joss are doing it. It’s so…I don’t know, so your first kiss of the year is with a good person.”

Root knew that Zoe, Joss, and John were working on some stuff of their own and were probably not the best people to base decisions on. She also knew that this could be her only chance to kiss Sameen. Was that weird? Was that predatory? They were friends. It didn’t have to be weird.

“It’s weird,” Sameen said, nodding. “Forget it.”

“No!” Root said, grabbing Sameen’s arm. “No, I think it’s sweet. Let’s do it.”

Sameen looked at her, her lips pushed into a thin line. She nodded sharply.

They heard the people around them start counting down. Root set her bottle down on the table. She nervously turned to face Sameen, wiping her palms on her jeans.

“…4, 3, 2, 1!”

Root leaned forward, lightly resting her hands on Sameen’s hips. She wasn’t sure what to do. Sameen pushed herself onto her toes and pressed her lips to Root’s, her arms wrapping around Root’s shoulders.

Root felt her heartbeat hard against her chest, her fists clenching in Sameen’s shirt. This had been a great idea, she felt warm and happy. This was a terrible idea. How could she ever give this up?

Sameen pulled away, her face red. She cleared her thought, her arms flapping at her sides. Root pulled her hands away and picked up her beer bottle, trying to pretend like that hadn’t been the best five seconds of her life.

“Happy New Year, Root.”

“Happy New Year, Sameen.”

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Sameen led the way into her room, shutting the door behind Root.

“I’m all people’d out,” Sameen said, crawling into bed and falling on her face. “Kill me.”

Root laughed and sat in Sameen’s desk chair. She slowly spun herself around, staring at the ceiling where they’d hung the star chart Root made her for Christmas.

They’d spent the last few hours in the living room with their friends, celebrating Sameen’s birthday. School started again tomorrow, so they’d thrown a birthday party slash end of winter break party. From Thanksgiving through the first week of January, it was party central.

“I’m almost glad for school to start again,” Root said, laughing. “The holidays are exhausting.”

“I know,” Sameen groaned, rolling onto her back. “The presents are nice, but are the social situations worth it?”

“I don’t think so…” Root said. She thought back to their New Year’s kiss. “Maybe a little.”

Sameen sat up and looked at her chalkboard. Root followed her gaze. The drawing of El Chupacabra was still up. Next to it was the study outline they’d made for their science midterm. She was looking forward to the rest of the year.

She hadn’t been allowed to join the Science Bowl team, even though she was definitely smarter than the rest of them. Freshman just weren’t allowed. Sameen only had 3 more games until the Championship Finals. Root still thought they had a good chance of making it all the way.

“Oh,” She said, reaching into the pocket of her leather jacket, “I didn’t give you your present.”

Sameen held her hand out. Root tossed her the necklace laughing as Sameen underestimated the distance and the necklace almost hit her in the face.

Root had gotten her a necklace with a pendant in the shape of the Ham Radio symbol, an arrow with a several points and spring in the middle. It was how they became friends, lying on a hill, staring at the stairs and listening to an intern play nerdy music.

Sameen opened the latch and put it around her neck. She held the pendant in her hand. Her face was neutral as she looked at Root.

“Thanks,” she said quietly. “I love it.”

Root nodded. “Yeah,” she whispered. “I’m glad.”

“Sameen! Root! Are you making out?” Zoe’s voice said through the door before she burst into the room. She pouted when she saw them across the room from one another. “Oh well. Come back to the party.”

Sameen groaned, but got out of bed. “I hate all of you.”

Root got up and followed them downstairs. “You know, Sameen, I’m older and taller than you.”

“Um, it’s my birthday,” Sameen replied, sounding insulted. “You can’t be mean to me.”

“I’m just stating facts.”

“I’m just going to punch you.”

Root took her arm as they walked into the living room. “Happy Birthday, Bestie.”

“Do not call me that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Root on Her Birthday:  
> From Sameen: Hair Dye, and Sameen dyed it for her  
> From Lionel: An 'I Want To Believe' shirt.  
> From John: An Ada Lovelace Poster  
> From Zoe and Joss: Make-up  
> From Mrs. Reese: Ghost Hunters Season 1-10 (per Lionel's instructions)
> 
> Christmas  
> To Root:  
> Ghost Socks from Lionel  
> A Sexy Angelina Jolie Poster from John ("I, uh, heard what Sameen said. About getting you a sexy poster")  
> A Fancy Leather Jacket from Sameen  
> A New Backpack and A Bracelet from Mrs. Reese
> 
> To Shaw:  
> Plastic Soccer Trophy from Lionel ("Since you're never gonna win Championships)  
> A Book Called "Getting in touch with your feminine side" from John  
> A Big, Sheer, Purple cloth with all the stars in the winter sky about Bishop drawn in white-out from Root  
> New cleats and a bracelet that matches Root's from Mrs. Reese
> 
> To Lionel:  
> Alien Socks from Root  
> A History of the Mets' book from John  
> A baseball glove from Sameen  
> An autographed Mets ball from Mrs. Reese
> 
> To John  
> A spring-loaded comb and a jar of mouse from Root  
> A book called "Polyamory for Beginners" from Sameen  
> A collection of Jazz CDs from Lionel  
> A Black Toyota Camry from Mrs. Reese
> 
> To Mrs. Reese:  
> A picture of all the kids and Bear in a frame that John built and Sameen painted. It says "Mom of the Year"
> 
> To Sameen on Her Birthday:  
> A black and blue work-out outfit from Joss and Zoe  
> A necklace with the Ham Radio symbol from Root  
> A poster of Alundra Blaze (A famous, female wrestler) from Lionel  
> A post of Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson ("We didn't know if you like boys or girls, or anyone, so we got you both") from John  
> A years membership to the Bishop Gym and the promise of a full set of weights to put in treehouse when it's built from Mrs. Reese.
> 
> The Ham Radio Symbol: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2c/International_amateur_radio_symbol.svg


	8. I Can't Feel My Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short transitional chapter

Root looked around the field, tapping her glove against her leg. They’d moved on to the softball part of their PhysEd class and Root was still trying to get away with not participating. Honestly, she had straight As, was PE even necessary?

Sameen was home sick today. She caught a terrible cold and had been out of school for days. Luckily, Coach Silva had been putting Root way out in the outfield away from stray balls and basemen. Today, though, Coach Silva had put Root on 2nd Base to ‘encourage you to participate, Root. You have to at least try.’

Root glanced over her shoulder at Zoe and Joss in the distance. They waved at her, smiling. She sighed and turned back to watch the game. Lambert was walking up to the plate, bat in his hand. He grinned at her as he squatted and got in position.

Root held her glove in front of her. If he was going to target her, she might as well try catch the ball. That’d wipe the smug look of his face. She watched the pitcher wind up and throw the ball. Lambert hit it right to Root.

“…Shaw is going to kill us!” Joss’ voice said from somewhere above Root. “She gave us one job.”

“It’s not our fault! Coach Silva put her in front of us.” Zoe grumbled.

“Do not put this on me,” Coach Silva snapped. “You tell Shaw it’s my job to make Root participate. I thought she could catch it!”

Root groaned and tried to sit up. Gentle hands slipped under her arms and helped her up. She looked over at Joss.

“What happened?” She asked, her head pounding.

“Well,” Joss started, helping her limp back into the school building, “You tried to catch the ball and, uh, caught it with your face.”

“Wow,” Root breathed, hobbling along, “this has to stop happening. Does it look bad?”

“Let’s just say, it’s a good thing Shaw isn’t here today or Lambert would be carried away in an ambulance.”

“Oh god. I’m going to see her after school.”

Joss laughed. “Bring a bribe.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“What happened?” Sameen demanded, from her place under the covers. She was sweaty and pale, but still managed to look threatening. “Who did this?”

It was late, almost eleven o’clock. Root had hoped to be at Sameen’s earlier, but got distracted. NASA’s website had updated while she was finishing her homework and it had taken longer to break back in than she’d expected.

On her way out of the house, she’d caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and knew Sameen would be upset.

“Don’t freak out. You need to rest,” Root said, dropping her bag on the floor near Sameen’s desk. She slowly walked to the bed, hands held up defensively.

“Fuck that,” Sameen threw her blanket off, accidentally hitting Bear in the face. She tried to stand up, but groaned, dropping back onto the bed. Bear ran to her and started licking her face. She weakly pushed him away. “Dumb dog, stop it!”

Root laughed and crawled across the bed to sit beside her. Bear shifted his focus and ran over to her, tripping over the blankets in his rush.

“Yes, hello, Bear. Sameen, get back in bed,” Root ordered, reaching out to tug on Sameen’s arm.

Sameen grumbled as she laid back, pushing her feet under the covers. “Fine. Whoever it was- Was it Lambert? He’s safe for now, but I’m going to kill him.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Root assured her, pulling the blankets up over her and wrapping her arms around Bear, moving him away, “I’m sure he’s already scared.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and groaned against the pain. She clamped a hand over her face. “Why is it so bright in here?”

“When did you last take your medicine?” Root asked, sliding off the bed and crossing to Sameen’s side to look at the bottles on her nightstand.

“Who knows?” Sameen whined. “Just shoot me.”

“You’re a baby,” Root laughed. “It’s just a cold.”

“It’s a monster,” Sameen said, sniffling pitifully. “I never get sick, so if this got to me - it’s a beast!”

“Or,” Root started, sitting on the edge of the bed, handing Sameen a glass of water, “you decided to go swimming in a rainstorm and then went right inside and refused to shower or change because you’re a stubborn person.”

“You went swimming, too,” Sameen reminded her, taking the pills from Root. She tossed them in her mouth, took a sip of water, and swallowed loudly. “Ugh, I hate medicine.”

“You’re going to love it in a second, stop complaining,” Root chastised her, putting the cup back on the nightstand. “And I took a hot shower and put pajamas on, because I care about my body.”

“Whatever. Go get me pizza. I know Mrs. Reese ordered some, but she won’t give me any,” Sameen pouted.

Root raised her eyebrows, but stood up. Hopefully, the medicine would kick in before she got back and Sameen would be asleep.

Root left the bedroom, tiptoeing down the stairs, trying not to wake anyone up. It was a school night and Mrs. Reese would be upset if she saw Root awake. She let them have sleepovers sometimes during the week, but only if they promised to not let it affect their school work.

Root walked into the kitchen and turned the light on, stopping in her tracks.

“Oh, sorry,” she said, squinting in the bright light, her bruised eye pulling painfully. Zoe was sitting on the counter, wearing nothing but one of John’s shirts and eating ice cream straight from the container. “I didn’t realize you where here.”

“Shh,” Zoe whispered, smiling, “I’m not.”

“Gotcha,” Root winked at her with her good eye. She turned to open the fridge and started looking for the leftover pizza. “What are you doing here?”

Zoe sighed and rested her ice cream on her lap. “I don’t know. Hanging out with John, I guess.”

“Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Root joked, pulling the Ziploc of pizza out of the fridge.

She dropped it onto the island and pulled down a plate. She started pulling slices out as Zoe talked.

“We’re dating, sort of. It’s complicated.” Zoe watched her put the pizza in the microwave. “I just…I don’t want to be tied down, I guess, but I really like him.”

“So you’re just ‘hanging out’?” Root asked, leaning against the counter.

“Yeah,” Zoe shrugged and ate a spoonful of ice cream. She spoke with her mouth full. “Joss is having a hard time, too. They’re also hanging out.”

“Huh,” Root said, crossing her arms, “I don’t know if I could do that. I think I’d get too jealous.”

“The good thing is we’re all friends, you know?” Zoe hopped of the counter, closing her ice cream and crossing to the freezer. “I think if we weren’t, this would be a lot harder.”

“Well, I’m here if you need me,” Root stopped the microwave a second before it beeped.

“Thanks, Root,” Zoe said, smiling at her. “Same here.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root coughed loudly, her body shaking. “I hate you,” she grumbled, pulling the blanket over her head. “So much.”

Sameen shrugged and shifted the laptop on her lap. “It’s your fault for taking care of me.”

Sameen had gotten over her cold in a few days. She’d woken up feeling great and back to fitting fit, but Root had caught her cold and Sameen had stayed home to take care of her. The cold affected Root a lot more than it had affected Sameen, probably because she was so skinny.

“I was helping you,” Root whined, peeking her eyes out of the blanket to stare up at Sameen pathetically.

“Thank you for that, but now we’re both stuck in this bed,” Sameen said, starting the next episode of The X-Files. “We’re almost done with this. What do we do then?”

“Start over?” Root suggested, coughing lightly. “That’s what I usually do.”

Sameen shifted the laptop to the bed, resting it against Bear’s back. “I was thinking about getting a job.”

“A job?”

“Lambert’s dad’s shop is hiring,” Sameen said, scooting herself so she was lying down, facing Root. “I could do mechanic stuff.”

“That’s cool,” Root nodded. “I could work at the Ice Cream Shop.”

“Yes!” Sameen cheered. “Free Ice Cream!”

“I don’t know if Mr. Greer would be ok with that,” Root laughed. “He’s pretty strict.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “He’ll get over it.”

They lay in bed for a while, watching the show. Sameen glanced over at Root. She enjoyed hanging out with Root like this, even if Root was sick. It was nice to relax and not have to try and be something that she wasn’t.

Sameen had known for a while that she was different from other kids. That she didn’t understand how they felt or why they got upset at things. She’d learned enough to function normally, watching other kids and television and trying to act like they did.

With Root, though, she didn’t have to. Root was happy to just be around her and it made Sameen…almost happy. Maybe she was happy. Maybe lying with your sick best friend and your rapidly growing dog in a bed in a house with a family that chose you was happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Ghost hunting and the start of something


	9. I Just Wanna Run

Root jumped to her feet as John’s car rolled to a stop in front of the ice cream shop. She hurried to the car, four milkshakes cradled in her arms. The back door opened and Sameen stepped out of the car, reaching out to take two of the milkshakes.

“Did Greer yell at you?” Sameen asked, watching Root slide into the backseat.

“No, he was already gone. I’ve only been working here for two weeks and he’s already given me a key and let me lock up.”

Sameen got in next to her and shut the door. Lionel turned around from the front seat as John got back on the road. He took his milkshake from Sameen and put John’s into the cup holder.

“You excited to go ghost hunting?” Lionel asked, grinning. “I am!”

Root sighed and sipped her strawberry shake. “I’m excited for you to see that ghosts aren’t real.”

“I still can’t believe you believe in Aliens and not Ghosts!”

“There’s undeniable proof aliens exist, Lionel. Art on Egyptian walls, myths about creatures from space in every culture. There’s no real proof-“

“What! There’s myths about ghosts, too!” Lionel said, spraying milkshake all over the car.

“Watch it!” John reached over to punch Lionel. “This car is new.”

Root looked at Sameen, who was frowning at her phone, eyebrows drawn down. “Who are you talking to?”

“Tomas,” Sameen answered, sighing. “He keeps flirting with me.”

Root rolled her eyes. “Gross. Tell him to go away.”

“I’m trying,” Sameen said, typing furiously on her phone.

“Tell me again about where we’re going,” John said, eyes on the road. “The address is in Corpus Christi.”

“It’s the Ward-McCampbell house in Heritage Park. Basically, this rich lady, Mary, died of pneumonia during a flood.”

“Now, she fucks with tour guides and locks people out on the balcony,” Lionel added.

Root scoffed. “Please, they probably forget their keys or something.”

Lionel and Sameen exchanged a glance. Sameen shrugged, shoving her phone in her front pocket.

“I don’t know,” Sameen said, crossing her arms and leaning back in her seat, “could be real.”

Root stared at her, shocked. “What? You barely believe in aliens!”

“You convinced me eventually. Maybe this trip will convince you of ghosts.”

Root looked between Sameen and Lionel, suspiciously. She knew they liked pranks, but she’d usually been the one to help them.

A few weeks ago, before her birthday, she’d help Sameen and Lionel switch John’s mousse for glue. It was part of the reason she’d bought him a new jar for Christmas. That boy did like to style his hair. Now Root was on the receiving on their scheme and she was feeling a little worried.

“What are you two planning?” Root asked, head tilting.

“Nothing!” Lionel said, laughing. “Just excited to see some ghosts.”

“Yeah, Root,” Sameen said, punching her lightly in the arm, “ghosts.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

They stared up at the house, ghost hunting equipment in their hands. The Ward-McCampbell house was big, really big. Root ran her eyes over the wrap-around porch where Mary Ward McCampbell’s ghost apparently hung out. Large glass doors led from the house out into the balcony.

Root rolled her eyes and turned to her friends. “So, I have the video camera. Sameen has the EMF Detector and the voice recorder. John has the Ghost Box and Lionel has the heat camera. Correct?”

“Ay, ay, Captain!” Lionel saluted.

John looked at the small radio in his hands. “I don’t know what this does.”

“It’s a Ghost Box. A modified AM/FM that scans all bands constantly. Basically, it takes the ambient radio waves from broadcast towers and allows ghosts to manipulate them into words and sentences. I got the Radio Shack 12-587. It’s good, but I read that it scans very slowly and tends to turn off, so I made some adjustments to it. It should work fine now.”

Sameen looked at her with an odd expression. Root touched her face self-consciously.

“What?”

“Even when you don’t believe in something, you give it your all.”

“It’s important to you guys. God knows why.”

The friends laughed and walked towards the house. Root pulled out her lock picking tools and opened the front door. She’d known how to pick locks for years. She had learned so she could break into her middle school’s science lab and do experiments after hours.

Root pushed the front door open, hitting record on the camera and leading them inside.

“This is creepy,” John said, walking beside Root.

Root looked around at the old house. It was just over a hundred years old, the décor was turn of the century, clean and white, with crown molding and fancy artwork. Root looked up at the high ceiling. She grinned and turned to ask Sameen if she felt especially short under these high ceilings, but Sameen was gone.

Root turned around fully. Lionel was gone, too. She looked at John, who just shrugged and walked into the kitchen.

“Please tell me you aren’t in on whatever they’re planning?” Root sighed, stomping after him.

John shook his head and put the ghost box onto the large marble counter in the center of the room. “They wouldn’t tell me.” He turned the ghost box on, the faint hum filling the room.

Root narrowed her eyes at him, turning the camera off, not sure if she believed him. “I wouldn’t put it past them to have some crazy plan.”

“Why don’t you believe in ghosts?” John asked, casually leaning against the counter. “You’re usually so into this mysterious stuff.”

Root shrugged. “I guess…It just seems like too much, you know? I don’t think I believe in God, at least not one so involved in our lives, and I don’t believe in Heaven. I don’t think anyone is good enough to get into Heaven, so why would Heaven even exist? No, I think that when you die, that’s it. You’re dead. I don’t like the idea of Hitler floating around, knocking picture frames off shelves.”

“Well,” John argued, “I think Hitler would be in Hell. Good people in Heaven, bad people in Hell.”

“No one is good enough to get into Heaven, John. Everyone does bad things, thinks bad thoughts. If God is real, and it made us in its image, then I am terrified of God.”

“Don’t be.”

Root and John jerked away from the counter staring at the radio. They looked at each other.

“Did you hear that?” Root asked him.

He nodded, eyes wide. Root looked up at the ceiling above them. Sameen and Lionel had probably snuck in another radio and were messing with them. Sameen was much better with technology than she let on.

“You think it was them?” John asked her, crossing his arms.

“It has to be, right?” Root said, rolling her eyes. “I hate them so much.”

“They’re just trying to scare you. I don’t think Lionel actually believes in ghosts. He just likes how cool those guys on tv are.”

A door slammed loudly upstairs and Root jumped again. She sighed and grabbed the Ghost Box, handing it to John and gesturing for him to follow her. She needed to stop Lionel and Sameen from damaging the house. The last thing they needed to do was get arrested.

Root and John walked down the hall to the staircase. When they started up it, they heard Sameen scream. Root dropped her camera, racing up the stairs, heart beating loud in her ears.

“Sameen!” She called, tripping on the last step and stumbling into the first room on her right.

Sameen was laying on her back, arms clutched over her stomach. She tried to sit up, but couldn’t. Root dove to her knees, looking her over.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Sameen said, looking scared. “I was standing here, looking at the EMF detector and it started going crazy and then I got really cold. Something hit me in the stomach.”

Root looked at Sameen’s arms, covering her stomach, and tried to pull them away. Sameen let her move her arms, so Root could see. Sameen’s white shirt was stained with blood.

“Oh my god,” Root gasped. “You’re covered in blood.”

“I don’t think it’s mine,” Sameen panted. “I just got the breath knocked out of me.”

The temperature in the room dropped and Root felt the hair on her arms raise. She looked around at John, but he seemed as unnerved as she was. Root heard music floating in from the next room. She could tell it was a piano, but couldn’t name the song.

“Well, then, whose blood is it?” she asked Sameen.

“Maybe it’s that girl who died here.” Sameen answered. “She died from a gunshot to the stomach, right?”

Root narrowed her eyes. “No, she didn’t.”

Sameen froze. “What? Yes, she did. Lionel said-“ Sameen cut herself off, glancing at Root.

“Wow,” Root smacked Sameen in the stomach, smiling when she cried out. “You guys can’t even get your act together to prank me.”

Lionel ran in from the other room. “Did it work? Was she scared?”

Root glared at him and realized the piano music had stopped. Lionel must have been the one playing it. Root climbed to her feet and ran over to punch him.

“I thought she’d been shot or something!” Root screamed at him. “That wasn’t funny!”

Lionel held his hands up. “Whoa, it was only a joke. Because you don’t believe in this stuff, you know?”

“I don’t believe in ghosts, Lionel! I believe in bullets!” Root shoved him towards the balcony. “Just, go out there. I’m so mad right now.”

Lionel rolled his eyes, but headed across the room to the balcony doors. He pulled open one of the tall glass doors and walked through it. When he let go of the doorknob, a sudden gust of wind blew the door shut behind him, making him jump.

Root turned to Sameen. Sameen held her hands up preemptively.

“I know, I know. How could I do this? You were so scared. I’m sorry,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. “Ok? I’m sorry.”

Root smiled softly. “It’s alright. I got most of my anger out on Lionel.”

“It was his idea, I promise,” Sameen said, eyes shifting passed Root to look at Lionel. “He said it would look real.”

Root shrugged, looking at John. She had thought it looked fairly realistic, but John had hunted more than she had.

John tilted his head back and forth. “It looks ok. It’s all one shade of red, though, so it does look a little fake.”

“You’re right,” Root confirmed, “It should be darker in the center.”

“What do you know about gunshots, Root?” Sameen asked, crossing her arms. “Have you even shot a gun?”

“Sameen,” Root said drying, tilting her head, “I grew up in rural Texas. I’m an expert marksman.”

Sameen’s eyes darkened and she drew a sharp breath. “OK, that’s…kind of hot.”

Root blushed and ran a hand through her hair. “Uh, thanks?”

Sameen cleared her throat, her eyes sliding past Root to see Lionel on the balcony. She laughed at him. “He’s stuck out there now.”

Root looked over her shoulder at him. Lionel was rattling the doorknob, rapping on the glass with his knuckles. The door slamming must have bumped the bolt into the lock. Root took pity on him and crossed the room, opening the door.

She started moving to the side to let Lionel in, but froze when a chill ran along her spine. It felt like someone was dragging a freezing hand down her back. The hand shoved her out the door, slamming it behind her.

She turned around, furious that Sameen would shove her outside, but John and Sameen were still standing across the room, staring at her with wide eyes.

“Oh my god,” Lionel whispered from behind her, “it’s Mary.”

Root rolled her eyes. “Ghosts don’t exist, Lionel.”

“Then what shoved you out here? And me?”

“A strong draft?” Root suggested, turning back to the door. She waved to her friends inside, calling them over. “A loose floorboard?”

“A skeptic to the end,” Lionel scoffed, “I might have to quit Alien Club.”

“It’s not called ‘Alien Club,’ Lionel. It’s called BACKS and it’s a scientific venture.”

Sameen and John came up to the window. Root frowned, she could see Sameen talking, but couldn’t hear what she was saying. Root squinted, trying to read her lips, but she couldn’t. Maybe they should learn sign language. Lionel leaned towards her.

“You catching that?” he asked.

“No,” Root shook her head. “I can’t hear anything. Do you think the glass is that thick?”

“I think that Mary is fucking with us.”

“Watch your language,” Root scolded him. She saw John pull his phone out and realized he was going to text her.

She pulled her phone out of her pocket and watched anxiously for his text. When it came through, she read it to Lionel.

“Can’t hear you. Door won’t open. Will go downstairs. You can jump down,” Root laughed. “Does he always-“

“Yes. Making plans is like pulling teeth,” Lionel said, rolling his eyes. “Come on, let’s meet them over by the door.”

Root nodded and they headed for the front of the house. She glanced over the edge of the balcony, trying to gauge the distance. She trusted John and Sameen to catch them, but if they didn’t, it didn’t seem too far. They stopped just above the front door and waited for Sameen and John to appear.

Root felt her feet get cold and looked down. A white mist had formed around their feet. She nudged Lionel and nodded to the ground. Lionel lifted his feet out of the mist. It dissipated slightly, but didn’t totally disappear.

They heard the front door open and leaned over the balcony. John and Sameen came out, glancing up at them. Root was glad for the orange light coming from the streetlamps. She wouldn’t want to make this jump in total darkness.

“You guys ready?” John called up.

“More than ready!” Lionel called back down. He turned to Root. “You first?”

“Sure,” she said. She looked at John. “I’m coming down!”

John lifted his arms and Root pushed herself up with her arms, throwing one leg over the railing. She felt Lionel steady her back and put the other leg over the raining. Her hands were sweating as they gripped the cool, wooden railing.

“Ok,” she called out, “jumping.”

She took a deep breath and pushed off the edge of the balcony. It was a scary couple of seconds, but soon, John’s arms wrapped around her and she sighed with relief. Root awkwardly lowered her legs to the ground and took a few shaky steps toward Sameen.

“You ok?” Sameen asked her, putting a hand on her arm.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Root breathed, turning to look up at Lionel.

Lionel was already sitting on the balcony, staring down at them. Root felt bad for him for a minute. He was a chubby kid and he never mentioned it, but he definitely got bullied at school for his weight. This must be a time when he wished he was smaller. She made a mental note to compliment him more.

“Jump!” John called up to him.

“Ok!” Lionel jumped off the balcony with a grunt.

John caught him without a problem. A slight huff of breath the only giveaway that it was a strain. Lionel hopped out of his arms and adjusted his shirt.

Root looked around at them. There had been some creepy stuff, but overall, she wasn’t convinced that ghosts were real. Given some time, and a computer, she could debunk everything that happened tonight.

A few leaves scrapped against the ground as a light breeze swirled around them. Root looked up at the sky, finding Orion’s belt slightly to the west. It was almost the end of January and Orion was starting to shift in the sky. By June, it would be gone completely, but for now, it was there for them to look at.

The front doors to the house rattled against the frame and the friends turned to look. The doors burst open, a loud gust of wind flying out of the house and hitting them. They turned on their heels and ran back to the car.

John unlocked the car from a distance. Sameen ripped open the door to the backseat, jumping in and sliding over so Root could climb after her. Root slammed their door shut. Lionel and John shutting their doors just after.

The friends sat in the ringing silence of the car, staring at each other with wide eyes. Root giggled. The friends started laughing the tension draining out of them.

“That was so scary!” Root laughed, dropping her face into her hands. “I was so scared.”

Lionel point at her, excited. “You liked it! This was fun!”

“No!” Root said, grinning. “It was the worst! I don’t know if I can do this again for a while.”

There was a buzz and Root looked at Sameen. Sameen rolled her eyes and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She unlocked it, her face lighting up in the dark car.

“10 missed messages from Tomas,” Sameen said, annoyed.

“That,” Root joked, “is the scariest thing of all.”

Sameen smirked and tossed her phone onto the seat between them. “Let’s get out of here.”

John nodded and started the car, slowly taking them to the road and heading home.


	10. Call It What You Want

“’Simon stayed where he was,’” Root read aloud, “’a small brown image, concealed by the leaves. Even if he shut his eyes the sow’s head still remained like an after-image. The half-shut eyes were dim with the infinite cynicism of adult life. They assured Simon that everything was a bad business.’”

“’Infinite cynicism of adult life’,” Sameen repeated, bent over a car engine, “This is nonsense. I hate this book.”

Root was sitting on a worktable, legs crossed in front of her. Sameen had started working at Lambert’s Auto a couple weeks ago. She liked coming to school in her overalls and Root had to admit, the greasy, sweaty look worked for her.

Sameen was always muscular, but lugging around tires and replacing car batteries had given her some definition. Root was tempted to ask Sameen to lift her, but Sameen would probably just roll her eyes and walk away. She did let Root feel her biceps whenever she wanted to, though, so no real loss.

Root flipped to the next page in the book. Since working was cutting into Sameen’s study time, Root had started coming to the auto shop during Sameen’s shifts to read to her and help her with homework. It was a lot of fun to hang out with Sameen at work and Sameen was always covered in oil and grease. She always let Root wipe her face when she got too sweaty.

“How many more pages for today?” Sameen asked, straightening out and wiping her hands on a cloth. “I hate this book.”

“Lord of the Flies is a classic, Sameen. A timeless tale of man’s primal urges, but also a study of the good side of humanity.”

“It’s about a bunch of spoiled, white preteens who go nuts on an island,” Sameen countered, reaching for a different tool. “It’s dumb.”

“We’re just going to have to agree to disagree, I guess,” Root shrugged, casually. “I think it’s interesting to think about how people are inherently wild and awful.”

Sameen scrunched her face. “That’s deep…”

Root rolled her eyes. “Whatever. You’re just jealous that I’m capable of highbrow, intellectual thoughts.”

“’I like my body when it is with your body. It is so quite a new thing. Muscles better and nerves more. I like your body. I like what it does, I like its hows. I like to feel the spine of your body and its bones, and the trembling-firm-smoothness and which I will again and again and again kiss, I like kissing this and that of you, I like slowly stroking the shocking fuzz of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes over parting flesh…and eyes big love-crumbs. And possibly I like the thrill of you under me so new.’ E. E. Cummings.”

Root started at Sameen, sucking in a shaking breath. Listening to Sameen quote poetry at her was a life-changing experience, if she was being honest. The image of Sameen, arms black with grime and sweat, hair tied up, but falling loose, hovering over her was…distracting. Root swallowed, mouth dry.

“Where, uh, you…Do you like poetry?” Root asked her, tried to sound relaxed. Her palms were sweaty as she put the book down.

Sameen shrugged and turned away to the car engine. She stuck her hands into the engine. “My mom was really into poetry. Her favorite poet was Simin Behbahbani, ‘The Lioness of Iran.’ She used to read me her poems until…So, I do like poetry.”

Root tried to imagine a tiny Sameen, tucked into bed, cuddled up to her mother. Root giggled, just like she did every time she tried to imagine Sameen as a kid. Root almost had herself convinced that Sameen came into the world as a grumpy 10 year old.

Sameen glanced over her shoulder at Root. “What?”

“Nothing,” Root said, smiling. “Just thinking.”

“Uh-Huh,” Sameen grunted, banging around in the car’s engine. “Hey, what are your plans for the summer?”

“I’m not sure yet. I mean, it’s only February.”

“Only February?” Sameen laughed. “Who are you and what have you done with Root?”

“I don’t have a plan for everything!” Root rolled her eyes. “Especially summer. Summer is for no plans.”

“Oh,” Sameen said, “I used to go to soccer camp all summer.”

“Do you think you’ll do that this year?”

She really hoped Sameen chose to stay in Bishop this summer. Despite what Root said, she really wanted to hang out with her. They hadn’t looked at the summer sky together and the treehouse still needed some work. If Sameen stayed all summer, they could save up and decorate the treehouse before school started up again.

“I was actually thinking about hanging around,” Sameen said, not looking at Root. “I mean, if you are.”

Root grinned at Sameen’s back, her stomach warm. “Yeah, I’ll be around.”

“Whatever,” Sameen mumbled into the car.

Root flipped through her book, fanning it in her face. It was hot in the garage. She had an idea.

“Hey, what do you think about doing a roadtrip?”

Sameen straightened out, looking at Root. “This summer?”

“No,” Root shook her head, “next summer probably. We would need to save up.”

“I think it’d be fun,” Sameen said, throwing her rag onto her shoulder. “How much would we need?”

Root shrugged. “I’ll do the math. We can decide on landmarks we want to see. Oh! We could do Route 66!”

Sameen leaned against the car, crossing her arms. “Towards California or Michigan?”

“Hmm,” Root tapped her finger on her chin, “I don’t know. Depends on what’s on either side.”

“Makes sense.” Sameen smiled at Root. “You excited about tonight?”

“Um, it’s a Valentine’s Day concert in the park, are you joking?” Root clapped her hands, laughing. “It’s a gift!”

“Alright, calm down, Don Juan,” Sameen joked, smacking Root with her rag. “Your date does not appreciate a spectacle.”

“Awww, my date? I thought we were going as friends,” Root pressed a hand to her heart.

“Disgusting,” Sameen mumbled, turning back to the engine. “You’re the worst.”

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Root and Sameen slid their bikes into the rack and headed across the Bishop Area Park towards the stage, Bear at their heels. The whole town of Bishop had come out to celebrate Valentine’s Day and listen to local music. Sameen was excited to see Zoe’s band, Two Words, perform. They were the main event.

The concert had started an hour ago, but it had taken Root so long to get ready that they were late. Sameen glanced over at her and smiled. Root had tied her hair back in two French braids, tied together at the end with a red bow. She’d tried to tie Sameen’s hair in the same way, but Sameen refused. She had one, sensible French braid with a red ribbon braided in.

Root smiled at her, nose scrunched, and reached out to take Sameen’s hand. Sameen rolled her eyes, but didn’t pull away. It was Valentine’s Day and it wasn’t like she was trying to impress anyone. She adjusted her grip on Bear’s leash in her other hand and looked around the park.

Everyone from the town was here. The music was loud, but Zoe’s band was really good. Giant red and pink heart balloons were tied around the pavilions and tied into rings on the ground. Sameen wasn’t into this sugary, lovey-dovey stuff, but Root looked like she was in Heaven.

“Look!” Root pointed in front of them, “There’s John, Joss, and Lionel. Ooh, Lionel has a girlfriend!”

Sameen let Root pull her over to them. She saw John glance down at their hands, but he didn’t say anything. Joss, on the other hand, squealed and threw her arms around Root.

“Are you two dating? Is it official?” Joss gasped, looking between them.

Sameen yanked her hand away, scowling. She crossed her arms. It was bad enough that she had no idea how she felt about…well, anything really, but all of their friends wanted them to date. She only had a vague idea of how Root felt.

Sameen glanced at Root, thinking she might be upset, but Root was smiling.

“I try and I try, Joss, but Sameen’s a hard nut to crack,” Root joked, lightly punching Sameen in the arm.

Sameen couldn’t help, but smile. Root was so dumb sometimes.

“I’m saving myself for The One,” Sameen said. She knelt down and let Bear lick her face. “Oh look, I found him.”

The friends laughed. Sameen glanced at Lionel, awkwardly standing beside his date. She was pretty with dark brown hair.

“You gonna introduce your date, Lionel?” Sameen asked, standing.

“Oh,” he blushed. “This is Rhonda. She’s in 8th grade.”

“An older woman,” Root smirked. “It’s nice to meet you, Rhonda.”

“Thanks,” Rhonda said nervously. “This is a lot of fun.”

Sameen looked at the stage. Zoe was at the mic, singing and playing guitar. She’d started her band a few years ago because she’d seen an alternative punk band play in Corpus Christi and ‘had to know how they did it.’

Sameen felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Root smiling at her. Root pointed across the field.

“Look at Harold,” Root said, giggling. “He’s just staring at Mrs. Hendricks.”

Sameen watched Mr. Finch adjust his glasses and nervously dust something off Mrs. Hendricks’ shoulders. “Gross. Listen, I know he lets you into the school after hours because he’s in BACKS, but dude gives me the heebie-jeebies.”

Root shrugged. “I think he’s just awkward.”

Sameen reached down to pat Bear’s head. “Finch married someone who likes Lord of The Flies. Something is wrong with him.”

Root punched her in the arm. “I like Lord of The Flies.”

“Well, I’m not going to marry you,” Sameen joked. She saw their principal talking to Mrs. Reese. “Oh, no, what’s Control doing?”

“Control?” Root asked. “What is that?”

“Principal McCarthy,” Sameen answered, nodding to their left. “The soccer team calls her Control because she’s too involved. You know how she always yells at the Ref?”

“That’s funny,” Root laughed. “Control.”

“I’m starving. You took so long to get ready.”

Root rolled her eyes. “I was trying to look good for you.” She gestured to herself.

Sameen looked her over and had to admit that Root did look good. Her red dress fit her well; it was tied around her waist and flowed down to her knees. She was wearing red booties.

“Fine. You look good,” Sameen conceded, “but I’m still hungry.”

Root took Sameen’s hand and led her and Bear to the food area where local vendors were set up. She led them to the hot dog tent, knowing Sameen could eat her weight in French fries. Sameen grinned, excited for the food.

She went to pull her wallet out, but Root stopped her.

“I’m a working woman, Sameen. I can buy you dinner now,” Root boasted, a delicate hand pressed to her chest. “This is my treat.”

Sameen smiled and shrugged. “OK. I want two hot dogs, one for me and one for Bear.”

Root laughed, but ordered three hotdogs and two large baskets of fries. She passed the food to Sameen as it came out and they headed to the picnic tables. Sameen climbed over the bench, patting the seat next to her. Bear hopped up and laid his head in her lap, eyes begging her for French Fries.

“Fine, but only a few,” she told him, passing down the fries.

“That’s the reason he’s growing so fast, you know,” Root said from across the table. “He’s going to get fat.”

Sameen shook her head. “Bear and I work out together. He comes with me on my morning jogs.”

“Ugh,” Root groaned, “I hate that you’re such a morning person. You always hop into bed after your shower and wake me up. It’s all that hair.”

Sameen laughed and tore a piece of her hot dog off, fingers getting messy with ketchup. “Perks of being Persian, baby. I’m gonna die with a full head of hair.”

She passed the piece of hot dog to Bear and let him lick her fingers clean. Because they had sleepovers almost every night, Sameen had gotten comfortable waking up next to Root. She’d sneak out around four in the morning to go for a jog and then shower and get back in bed. Root always looked so soft in her sleep, it made Sameen feel weird. She broke off another piece for Bear and he licked her head.

“You’re going to wash your hands before you touch me again,” Root said, scrunching her nose. “That’s kind of gross.”

“Dog’s mouths are really clean,” Sameen countered, “and their saliva can heal wounds. That’s a fact.”

“Is it?” Root said, eyebrows raised.

“It is. I know that because I’m top of our class.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Root laughed, throwing fries at Sameen.

Sameen just grinned, picking them up and stuffing them in her mouth. “Thanks for the food!”

They spent the rest of the night wandering around the park with Bear, eating various foods and listening to Zoe’s band. Sameen was enjoying herself. Root was always a lot of fun to hang out with, but at events like this, when there weren’t doing anything other than hanging out, she worried about running out of things to talk out.

Root’s brain never shut off, though, and she could always pull new topics out of nowhere. It was either space, or school, or a project she was working on. Sameen never got annoyed with her, either. Not real annoyed, anyway. Root was interesting and she kept her on her toes.

Root didn’t try to hold Sameen’s hand again and she almost felt disappointed. She wasn’t into Root like that, she told herself, but it was Valentine’s Day and everyone else was holding hands. She could always initiate the contact, but she knew Root would never let her hear the end of it if she did.

It ended up being for the best, though, because at some point someone handed each of them a mason jar full of something that tasted like apple pie. They drank it slowly, letting it warm their stomachs. Sameen started to feel a little unsteady, but not in a bad way. She felt like she could do anything, but she also wanted to take a nap. It was odd and she wasn’t sure what it meant.

She turned to ask Root if she was feeling the same way, but Root was staring across the field at someone. Sameen followed her gaze and saw her staring at Hersch, Lambert, and Martine. Sameen glared at them and tried to punch Root’s arm, missing slightly.

“Root, ignore them. I don’t want to have to fight anyone tonight.”

Root looked at her, eyes slightly unfocused. “I’m not going to start anything. I was just thinking about how awful they all were.”

“Well,” Sameen said, taking another sip of the clear apple pie drink, wincing at the sharpness, “They’re also all dateless.”

“That’s true,” Root squinted at them again, “losers.”

Sameen laughed and looked around. She spotted Joss and John. Grabbing Root’s arm, she started towards them. Joss came up to them, moving to give Root a hug, but stopped. She grabbed the mason jar out of Root’s hand and smelled it, gagging slightly.

“What the hell?” Joss said, pouring the drink out. “Are you guys crazy?”

She snatched Sameen’s jar, too, and dumped it out as John came over.

“Hey!” Sameen protested, “I was drinking that.”

“I know you were,” Joss glared at her. “I can smell the alcohol from here.”

“Alcohol?” John said, looking between them. “Are you drunk?”

Sameen tried to take stock of her body, but just stared into space. “Maybe?”

“I’m fine,” Root said, shrugging and throwing herself slightly off balance. “I feel great.”

“Ok, you two are going home,” Joss said, reaching out to turn them in the direction of their bikes. “Go straight home and go to bed.”

When they didn’t move, Joss gave them a push. Sameen dug her heels in, but Joss was stronger.

“OK,” Sameen shrugged her off and started walking on her own, “I’m going. Jesus.”

“Should we go with them?” John asked behind them.

Root smiled at him over her shoulder. “We’re fine, John. We’re big girls.”

She reached out and took Sameen’s hand, walking shoulder to shoulder with her back to their bikes. Sameen glanced down at their hands, caring less about the contact than she had earlier. Root looked nice tonight, her skin shinned in the moonlight.

“You look pretty, Root,” Sameen said, surprising herself. She stopped in front of her bike and looked at Root. “Prettier than usual, I guess.”

Root smiled at her, mouth curling upwards. “You think I’m pretty? That’s kinda gay, Sameen.”

“Moment ruined,” Sameen grumbled, rolling her eyes.

She backed her bike out of the rack and threw her leg over. Carefully, because she was unbalanced and didn’t want to hurt Bear, she tiptoed her bike in a circle and started off towards her house.

“We should go swimming when we get back,” Root said, weaving her bike down the road. She pushed herself onto her toes, her braids flying behind her as she pedaled. “We could skinny dip!”

“And have Mrs. Reese catch us? No thanks,” Sameen said, trying to bike in a straight line and failing.

“Mrs. Reese is at the party, dummy,” Root said, closing her eyes and dropping her head back. She smiled. “It would feel really good.”

Sameen pursed her lips. “Sure, I guess. I mean, it’s my house, too, right?”

“Right!” Root said, sitting down and pedaling faster. “Let’s go!”

They raced home, Bear running alongside them. Sameen loved biking at night. It was always so quiet and calm. New York had been so loud, constantly screaming and pulsing with activity. Bishop was the opposite, sometimes stifling, but usually comforting. The cool breeze blew across her face and she smiled.

When they got home, they dropped their bikes in front of the house and ran around to the back. Sameen tried to hop the fence, but ended up slamming her stomach into it. Root laughed, pushing her out of the way and unlatching the gate. Bear ran in ahead of them.

Crossing the yard quickly with her long legs, Root opened the screen porch door and turned to look at Sameen. She grinned as Sameen passed her into the pool area. Where they really going skinny dipping?

Sameen turned around to ask Root, but froze. Root had already started to take her clothes off. Sameen spun around, heart racing. She saw Root change all the time, but this was different. For one, Sameen couldn’t get her heart to calm down, something she was normally in total control of.

She was also aware that this wasn’t like changing. This was actively being naked around Root for…no reason, but to be naked. She felt a hand on her arm and turned around, keeping her eyes focused on Root’s face.

“Sameen, take your clothes off!” Root ordered her, eyes wide. She giggled and tilted her head. “Are you scared?”

Sameen tensed. “I’m not scared of anything.”

“Prove it,” Root whispered, narrowing her eyes.

Sameen couldn’t back down now. She lifted her foot to take her shoes off, but lost her balance, falling onto the ground. Quickly pulling her shoes and socks off, she rolled her eyes when Root laughed at her.

“Rude,” Sameen mumbled, pulling her shirt over her head.

She was glad she’d worn shorts because she could just pop the button and slide them off. She climbed to her feet and unclasped her bra, stepping out of her underwear. She stood in front of Root, completely naked, feeling like she was on display.

Root’s eyes fluttered, her cheeks pink. Sameen knew that Root liked girls and it usually wasn’t a big deal. She also knew that she couldn’t really like anyone. Right now, though, the blue porch light was bouncing off Root’s sweaty skin and Sameen wasn’t quite sure what she was feeling.

“Enjoying the view?” Root asked, posing for her. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and ran to the pool, jumping in. She pulled her body into a ball and landed in the pool with a splash. Relaxing in the water, she let herself float to the top.

She broke the surface just as Root jumped in and got hit with a face full of water. Pushing her hair out of her face, she watched as Root surfaced, sucking in air. Sameen ran her eyes over the column of Root’s neck. She looked away when Root straightened up.

Sameen kicked herself backwards and turned to swim across the pool. Root was right; this was nice. The cold water felt fantastic moving against her warm skin. Her fingertips hit the wall and she stopped, resting an arm over the edge.

Root came to a stop next to her and threw both arms over the edge of the pool, resting her head against the cold tile. Root’s forehead crinkled and she winced.

“You ok?” Sameen asked.

“Yeah,” Root nodded against the wall, “I think swimming like this is doing weird things to my stomach.”

“This was your idea,” Sameen said, poking her in her side.

The reflection of the porch lights against the water cast rippling shadows across Roots’ face, making her look other worldly. Sameen kicked her feet lightly in the water, feeling them brush up against Root’s legs. Root had an odd look on her face.

“What?” Sameen asked, scooting away. “What’s that look?”

Root didn’t say anything, but followed Sameen as she moved backwards along the wall. Sameen didn’t stop until her back hit the corner. Root crowded into her space, eyes dark. Sameen was afraid to say anything, afraid to break the moment. She kept her face carefully blank, not sure what Root was doing.

Root closed the distance between them, her legs tangling in Sameen’s. She leaned forward until Sameen could feel Root’s breath on her face, sweet from the apple pie alcohol. They stayed like that for a moment, and Sameen could hear their breathing, loud in the quiet night. Reaching a hand out, she froze when Root jerked back.

“What-“ Sameen started, watching Root clap a hand over her mouth.

Root vomited into the pool, right in front of Sameen.

“Gross!” Sameen reached behind her and hauled herself out of the pool, trying to put some distance between herself and Root. She looked down into Root’s watery eyes and sighed.

“Ok, come on,” she said, knowing that she sounded angry. “Give me your hands.”

She reached down to hold Root’s hands and lifted her up, wrapping her arms around Root’s waist and hauling her out of the pool. She let Root get her feet under her and then ran back to their clothes, scooping everything up and shoving it under one arm.

Walking back to the Root, she whistled for Bear to follow. Root let her wrap an arm around her and lead her to back door.

“Let’s shower and then get some sleep,” Sameen said, letting go of Root to pull open the glass door. Root nodded and stumbled inside.

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Later, when they were lying in bed, snuggled up together, Root stared at Sameen, head pounding.

“I’m sorry for throwing up on you,” Root whispered in the dark.

Sameen rolled her eyes. “It’s fine, Root. Stop apologizing.”

“I know, but I’m sorry.” Root reached her arm out trying to find Sameen.

Sameen grabbed Root’s hand and put it on her side. She and Root had started waking up cuddled together a few weeks ago. Sameen had tried to resist it, but apparently her sleeping self was much more interested in physical affection. Now, they just fell asleep already cuddling.

“Root,” Sameen stared, starting to fall asleep, “just…maybe we stick to New Year’s kisses for a while, huh?”

Root was silent for a minute. Sameen heard her pillow shifting and assumed Root was nodding.

“Yeah,” Root breathed, her voice raspy, “Ok.”

Sameen nodded and scooted forward, wrapping an arm around Root’s waist and tucking her head under her chin.

“Don’t throw up on me in your sleep, ok?” Sameen joked. “Oh, and Root?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes. Have you ever thrown up in a pool in front of your teenage crush? I have.


	11. Right Now

Root rested her arms on the bleacher behind her and looked around the gymnasium. They’d come to school on a Sunday to watch the debate team’s finale debate of the season. There were only a couple of months left before summer and Root wanted to catch as many events as she could. Unfortunately, the Bishop Debate Team was mediocre at best.

The event got to a break and Root sighed, turning to Sameen. “Let’s go. I’m bored.”

Sameen shrugged and stood up, letting Root go down the steps ahead of her. They walked down the bleachers and headed out of the gym. The air was thick and humid; the thunderstorm in the morning hadn’t made it any cooler, just damper.

Being at school on a weekend was always the weirdest feeling. There was something about the empty hallways and abandoned parking lots that made Root feel like she wasn’t real. She could only imagine what it would feel like to come back for a 10 year reunion. If she came back. She jumped into a puddle, laughing as Sameen skittered away.

“Stop splashing,” Sameen grumbled. “You’re going to fall.”

Root just grinned and hopped into the next puddle. The basketball court had stopped being level years ago. Now, it was a great place to puddle hop after a rainstorm.

Root spotted a basketball across the court and ran for it. She scooped it up and turned to Sameen, grinning.

“Wanna play?” she asked, waving the ball back and forth.

Sameen crossed her arms, eyebrows raised. “Really? You’re going to end up with another broken nose.”

“Oh, please,” Root scoffed, “That was like…six months ago.”

“Only six months?” Sameen said, thoughtfully, “Feels like forever.”

Root smiled and threw the ball to her. “Batter up!”

“Oh god,” Sameen rolled her eyes, but started dribbling the ball.

Root watched her dribble and squatted into a defensive stance. There was something elegant about the way Sameen handled herself. She was always calm and ready to spring into action. Root liked that about her.

Sameen came towards her, dribbling the ball. Root tried to anticipate her movement, but Sameen faked left and went right, passing her easily. Turning around, Root watched as Sameen jumped into the air, throwing the ball through the hoop.

“You know,” Sameen said, picking up the basketball from the ground, “for someone so tall, you’re pretty bad at this.”

Root lunged forward and grabbed the ball from Sameen’s hands. She held it above her head.

“What- Hey!” Sameen jumped, trying to snatch the ball from Root, but she couldn’t jump high enough. “Not fair.”

“You know,” Root mocked, “for someone so short…”

“Ok,” Sameen stopped jumping and put her hands on her hips, “Ha Ha, very funny.”

Root laughed and lowered the ball, letting Sameen take it from her. “You can be Sporty Spice. I’ll be…”

“Baby Spice?” Sameen joked, dribbling the ball between her legs.

“I was going for Scary or Ginger.” Root stretched her arms above her head, closing her eyes and turning her face to the sun.

Sameen shot the ball at the hoop, missing. She ran to get the ball as it bounced away. “Definitely not Posh.”

Root cracked an eye at Sameen. “Well, I’ll never be posh.” She straightened out, walking away to find another puddle. Her shoes were wearing thin and the water from the puddles was seeping through, wetting her socks. She stopped in front of a large puddle, staring at her reflection in the clear water. "I wouldn’t know how.”

“One day,” Sameen said, throwing the ball, “You could be rich.”

“I want to be a computer scientist, Sameen. They’re not exactly known for being rich.”

“I dunno,” Sameen wiped her forehead, ball tucked under her other arm. “Invent something. Build something.” She went back to throwing the ball around.

Root jumped into the puddle with both feet. “I could invent an AI and take over the world.”

She climbed out of the puddle, shaking her feet off. Root had thought about trying to invent something. She built her own HAM Radios and was almost done building a computer from scratch. If she put her mind to it, she could do anything.

“Sounds scary,” Sameen panted, out of breath from running around. “I like it.”

Root grinned at her and checked her phone. “Come on, it’s almost dinner time.”

Sameen nodded and tossed the ball to the ground. She jogged over to Root and they headed to their bikes.

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“Why is it so fucking hot?” Sameen groaned, sprawled out in the grass.

When they’d gotten back to Sameen’s house, Sameen had stopped her bike and just fallen straight to the ground. Root laughed at her, staying on her seat. Root had grown up in Texas, 80 degrees was warm, but not sweltering. Root leaned forward on her handlebar.

“Don’t be a baby, Sameen,” Root smiled. “It’s only March.”

“Kill me now,” Sameen whined, voice muffled by grass.

Root sat back and kicked out her kickstand. “Haven’t you lived somewhere hot?”

“Yes. Always awful.”

“Oh my god,” Root threw her leg over her bike and sat in the grass next to Sameen. “You’ll live. Maybe if you cut some of that hair off…”

“Fuck off,” Sameen rolled over onto her back and kicked her shoes off, legs in the air. “Why did we play basketball?”

Root plucked long, green blades of grass from the lawn. “I wouldn’t say we played basketball. You threw some hoops and I jumped in some puddles.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, sitting up to pull off her socks. She laid back again and closed her eyes, humming softly. A breeze blew over them, shaking the grass and dancing her shirt across her stomach. Root watched her for a moment, her hands twisting the blades of grass together.

“Do you want to go to the hill after dinner?” Root asked her.

Sameen shrugged, shoulders rustling in the grass. “Sure. Something happening?”

“Mars, the moon, and Mercury are forming a triangle,” She pushed her hair behind her ear, tying off her grass twist. “I thought we could bring a radio and my telescope.”

Sameen sat up, bending her legs in front her. She rested her arms on her knees. “Sounds good.”

Root reached over to drop a grass crown on her head, laughing as Sameen wrinkled her nose. She liked to talk a big game, but she’d never say no to Root. Root pulled out her phone and snapped a picture. Since they’d become friends, her Instagram was 50% science and 50% Sameen.

Sameen knocked the phone out of her hands and onto the grass. “Stop. Take some selfies like a normal teenager.”

Root picked her phone up. She put her own grass crown on and turned to lean against Sameen, grinning. Her stomach felt hot when Sameen wrapped an arm around it and Root took the picture and moved away.

“I’m posting this right now,” Root said, opening Instagram.

Sameen just rolled her eyes and scooted closer to put her chin on Root’s shoulder, watching her pick a filter. A shadow fell over them and they looked up. Lionel and John had walked up and were staring down at them.

“Nice crowns,” John said, smirking. “Root’s doing, I assume?”

“No,” Sameen snarked, “I made us fucking flower crowns.”

“They’re grass crowns, actually,” Root corrected her, posting the photo and climbing to her feet. “You guys know what’s for dinner?”

“What,” Lionel asked, starting to the house, “do you actually live with us now?”

Root stuck her tongue out at him. “You wish, Bro.”

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Sameen leaned back on her hands, legs stretched in front of her on the blanket. She stared up at the stars. Root was asleep next to her curled up on her side, hair splayed around her head. They’d gone to the hill after dinner to stargaze.

She hummed along to the radio, her bare feet idly bouncing in time. Sameen was really looking forward to the summer. Root was going to teach her to shoot a gun and they were going to go into the city for some event Root wouldn’t tell her about yet. She was actually feeling excited.

Sameen sighed and stretched forward, rubbing her hands on her knees. She stood up carefully to avoid waking Root and walked over to the telescope, the damp grass cool on her bare feet. Bending forward, she put her eye against the view piece.

Mercury looked huge. This was the time of year that Mercury was furthest from the sun. Root had spent the entire bike ride to the hill explain it to her. Sameen already knew it, of course. She wasn’t dumb. She’d let Root ramble on, though. It was always nice to listen to her talk about her passions.

She heard a groan behind her and turned around. Root was sitting up, rubbing her eyes.

“Did I fall asleep?” Root rasped, blinking up at Sameen. “Sorry.”

Sameen shrugged, slowly making her way back to the blanket. “I was just sitting.”

Root pushed her hair out of her face and tied it up into a ponytail. The radio crackled next to them, the next song playing. Sameen dropped down next to Root with a grunt.

“Are you coming to Georgetown for Semi-Finals and Championships?” Sameen asked, dusting off her feet and pulling her socks back on. “I mean, if we make it?”

“You only have one more game until the semi-finals. You’ll make it,” Root mumbled, only barely awake. “I’m staying in your hotel room with Zoe and Joss.”

“Sweet,” Sameen looked at her, smiling at Root’s grumpy face. “I might be nervous.”

“Wow, the great Sameen Shaw is scared.”

“I’m not scared,” she protested, “I am…proportionally apprehensive.”

Root laughed softly and curled back on her side. “I’m sleeping here tonight. Good night.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and pulled her phone out, texting Mrs. Reese to let her know they’d be out later than expected. She dropped her phone onto the ground and curled up, facing Root. Sameen smiled to herself and closed her eyes, drifting off.


	12. Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Root's terrible mom says some terrible things, Homophobia

Sameen watched the ball sail into the goal. She'd done it. She'd scored the winning goal and Bishop High was going to the Championship Finals. Sameen turned around to look at her team and something rammed into her, knocking her onto her back. Laughing, she tried to push Joss off, but Zoe jumped on them, and then the rest of the team. She stared up at the bright stadium lights. She realized she was screaming, then realized everyone was screaming.

Finally, the team started moving away and Joss helped Sameen to her feet, immediately wrapping an arm around her. They headed for the center of the field to high-five the other team. Sameen looked at the bleachers to her family's normal spot. Root was easy to spot, jumping up and down between John and Lionel.

Sameen got into their line, high-fiving the other team as they passed. She hit the last hand and sprinted to the locker rooms, eager to get changed so they could get to dinner. Joss pushed her from behind as they burst into the locker room. It was loud, the other girls all talking excitedly.

"We won!" Joss cheered, throwing her arms in the air.

Sameen pushed past her, yanking her shirt over her head. "We still have one more game."

Zoe rolled her eyes and opened her locker. "Cheer up, Shaw. You're always a downer."

"I'm looking forward to winning the Championship," Sameen sat on a bench, and started unlacing her cleats, "but I'm not counting my eggs before they hatch."

"Hey, Winners!" Root called, running into the locker room.

"Root!" Zoe screamed, running topless across the locker room to jump into Root's arms.

Root stumbled backwards, laughing. She awkwardly patted Zoe's back, staring at Sameen with wide eyes.

Sameen chuckled, dropping her cleats on the floor and sliding off her shin guards. "Zoe, leave the poor lesbian alone."

Zoe looked over her shoulder at Sameen, not letting go. "I'm helping her! She likes this. Right, Root?"

Root shrugged, face red. "Um…"

"I'm just teasing," Zoe laughed, moving back to her locker. "Women's bodies are beautiful."

Sameen caught a look between Joss and Zoe, but decided not to ask. She rolled her eyes and started to get dressed. Root appeared at her side and sat on the bench.

"That was really great, Sameen," Root said, smiling at her. "You're going to take them to Championships every year."

"We still need to win this year," Sameen said, buttoning her shorts. "One step at a time."

Root looked over at Joss. "Seriously?"

"Don't get me started," Joss said, buttoning her shirt. "Our constant struggle. We'll get her excited about something."

"I'll be excited tomorrow if we win."

"When we win!" Zoe corrected her. "When we win."

Sameen shut her locker and turned to Root. "I can deal with your peppiness, but these losers are too much. Let's go."

Root laughed and stood up, following Sameen out of the locker room. It was dark outside, but the streetlights illuminated the parking lot. Sameen heard yelling up ahead. She saw Mrs. Reese struggling with someone and ran over, Root at her heels.

Mrs. Reese, Principal McCarthy, and Mrs. Hendricks were arguing with a brunette woman who was definitely drunk. Sameen had never seen this woman before. She didn't think the town was big enough for that to be possible, but she didn't recognize the hysterical woman at all. She actually looked kind of like…Root.

Sameen turned to look at Root. Root was frozen, her face white. She looked terrified, like her entire world was crashing around her. Her eyes were wide and it didn't look like she was breathing. Sameen stepped towards her.

"Root?" she reached out to touch her arm, "are you ok?"

Root looked at her, licking her lips. "That's my mom."

Sameen looked back at the screaming woman, surprised. She had only seen Root's house before and after the hurricane, but she hadn't met her mom at all. Sameen wasn't sure what she'd been expecting. Mrs. Reese had told her that Root's mom was an alcoholic, but Sameen hadn't realized just how bad that was.

Root was poor, she knew that, but it hadn't occurred to her that she could be living in an abusive situation. Sameen thought Root slept over all the time because her house was awful, not because her mother was. Root didn't talk about her that much, just enough that Sameen knew they weren't that close. She suddenly realized that she didn't know that much about Root's life.

Root's mother spotted them, her eyes filling with hatred.

"Whore!" she screamed at Root, "Fucking slut! You come here right now!"

Root took a step backwards, shaking. Sameen put an arm around her as the adults tried to calm Mrs. Groves down. Sameen turned Root around so her back was to her mother.

"Root," Sameen said, trying to catch her eyes, "look at me."

Root shook her head, eyes filling with tears. "I don't want you to see this."

Sameen pulled Root into a hug, standing on her toes so Root could rest her head on Sameen's shoulders. "I don't care about your mother. I care about you."

Root sobbed into her shoulder as her mother continued to yell at them. Mrs. Groves broke out of Principal McCarthy's grip and came out them. Pushing Root behind her, Sameen pulled herself as tall as she could, hands clenched into fists.

"Move," Mrs. Groves ordered her, smelling like vomit and alcohol. "I need to speak to my daughter."

Sameen watched her sway on her feet and glared at her. "No."

Mrs. Groves looked passed Sameen to Root and growled. "Is this who you've been fucking?"

"You need to go," Sameen said, as clear as possible. "Leave her alone."

Root's mother glared at her, but focused again on Root. "This is why your father left, because you're a fucking whore and a goddamn dyke."

"You need to go," Sameen repeated, itching to punch her and barely holding herself back.

"You have no right to come between me and her." Mrs. Groves raised an arm to slap her, but Mrs. Reese rushed to her and caught it. Mrs. Groves stared at her, shocked.

"If you lay one hand on my daughter," Mrs. Reese ground out through clenched teeth, "I will take yours from you."

Sameen stared at her wide-eyed. She'd never seen her adopted mother so angry before. It was scary and Sameen's respect for her sky-rocketed.

She felt Root's hands grasp the back of her shirt and turned around, letting Root hug her again. This must be humiliating. Almost the entire town of Bishop had come to Kingsville to watch the game. Since their sports teams were usually awful, it was a big deal for the high school girls' soccer team to have made it to the Championships.

Now, the crowd that had watched the soccer game was watching them. Everyone would hear about how Root's mom showed up drunk and called her names in public. John and Lionel were standing with Joss and Zoe by the building, looking worried. Sameen looked over her shoulder at the adults.

Mrs. Hendricks was quietly talking to Mrs. Groves calming her down. Once she was breathing normally, Principal McCarthy came over to talk to Sameen and Root.

"I'm sorry about this," she said, glancing at Root wrapped in Sameen's arms. "Grace is going to take her home."

Root pulled away from Sameen, wiping her eyes. "I should go with her."

"No, Sam," Principal McCarthy laid a hand on Root's shoulder, looking surprised that Root was almost as tall as she was, "you can stay here with us."

"What?" Root asked, watching Mrs. Hendricks lead her mother away, "I can stay? No, I should take care of her."

"Sam," Mrs. Reese said, coming over, "That's not your job. You shouldn't have to care for your parents."

"But if I don't," Root looked at them with tear-filled eyes, "who will?"

Principal McCarthy and Mrs. Reese shared a glanced. Mrs. Reese reached out to hold Root's hand.

"I'll tell you what," she said, smiling kindly, "I'm going to send your mom away, to a rehab, and you can stay with me while she's gone."

Sameen looked at her surprised. "Root can stay with us?"

Mrs. Reese rolled her eyes. "Honey, she already lives with us."

Root threw herself at Mrs. Reese, crying again. "Thank you so much!"

"It's only full time until your mom comes back, ok?" Mrs. Reese said, arms around Root's back.

Root nodded, pulling away. "I know." She turned to Sameen. "We're going to live together!"

Sameen rolled her eyes. "Great. Together 24/7." She smiled at Root to show her she was kidding.

Mrs. Reese reached into her back pocket and pulled out her wallet. She handed Sameen some money.

"Why don't you two go to the 7-Eleven down the street and we'll get this all sorted?"

Sameen nodded and took the money. She took Root's hand and led them away. They walked the three blocks to the corner store in silence. Sameen watched Root along the way, wary that she might cry again. She didn't, but Sameen could tell she wasn't feeling well.

Sameen’s parents had been kind while they were alive. They’d known she was different and accepted her no matter what. Her life had been nice and Sameen almost missed it sometimes. Root had no idea what that was like.

When they got to the 7-Eleven, Sameen dropped Root's hand and pulled the door open. Root walked inside, still sniffling. Sameen sighed, following behind and letting the door swing closed. There had to be a way to cheer her up. Sameen wasn't ever sad, so she wasn't sure how to make Root happy.

Root wandered over to the Slurpee machine and Sameen headed down the aisles. She tried to remember those dumb chick flicks Root liked. What did those girls do after breakups? Sameen spotted a giant jar of Nutella and shrugged.

Chocolate was good. She couldn't buy wine, but she could buy chocolate. Sameen grabbed a banana and a plastic spoon and headed to the register. Root put two large Slurpees on the counter, one red and one blue.

Sameen smiled and paid for their snacks. Of course Root liked the teeth-staining flavors. She grabbed her things off the counter and headed out of the store.

"Let's sit on that wall over there," Sameen said, nodding to a half wall next to the store.

She put the Nutella, banana, and spoon onto the wall and hoisted herself up. Dropping onto with a huff, she pushed her hair out of her face and reached down to give Root a boost. When they were settled, she pulled one leg up, turning to face Root. Root sipped the blue Slurpee and stared up at the sky, kicking her heels against the wall.

"It's harder to see the stars in the city," Root mumbled around her straw.

Sameen glanced up. "Yeah, I miss the hill."

"We should go whenever we come back from college."

"Thinking about college already?" Sameen chuckled, eyebrow raised. "You're always so forward thinking."

"I have to be," Root shrugged, "I can't stay in Bishop forever."

Sameen watched her, opening the Nutella tub and taking a spoonful. She ate it, mouth instantly watering. As a rule, she didn't talk about her past pre-Bishop. It was uncomfortable and she knew she would seem crazy if she was too dispassionate about her parents' deaths.

"My father died in a car crash," Sameen said, pulling the spoon out of her mouth. "We were driving back from the store when something, I don't know what, happened and the car started flipping."

Root didn't look at her as she talked and Sameen found it comforting. She scooped another spoonful of Nutella.

"I sat in that car for a while, listening to the Cicadas chirp. Fire Rescue came eventually and pulled me out. They wouldn't tell me about my father right away and I knew something was wrong. I was only eleven, but I knew about death."

Sameen scrapped the chocolate off the spoon with her teeth, taking her time. Root was still staring at the sky. Any other time and Sameen knew that Root would be asking a million questions. Now, Root was thinking about the future, about her mother going away, about staying with Sameen.

"Later, I was sitting in the back of an ambulance, eating a sandwich, and a fireman told me my father was dead. I knew what that meant, that I'd never see him again, but I…wasn't upset. Or sad, or angry, or anything that was normal. I could tell the fireman was unnerved, but I couldn't do anything about it. I was hungry first and sad second."

Root finally looked at her, but still didn't say anything. Sameen ran her eyes over Root's face, taking in her quiet resignation. Root looked older when she was sad, like she was already exhausted by life.

"When my mom showed up, she was hysterical. She was crying and screaming in Farsi. I had to translate for her so the firemen could explain what happened. I don't think she heard anything I said. Eventually, she just put me in her car and drove me home."

"Was she ok?" Root asked. "I mean, after a while?"

Sameen shrugged, sighing. She passed the spoon to Root and picked up the red Slurpee. She took a long drag, feeling the cold spread through her chest, refreshing against the hot April air. She was approaching her word limit for the day, but her distraction seemed to be working. Root put a spoon of chocolate in her mouth, smiling slightly.

"She never really got over it. She died two years later. I heard someone at the funeral say she died of a broken heart, but that's not medically possible. I've checked."

Root let out a sharp laugh, shaking her head. "It's an expression, Sameen. It means she was so sad, she died."

"Oh," Sameen took another gulp of her Slurpee, "I don't get that, but it makes sense. She had been so kind before, and gentle. She never tried to get me to be anyone I wasn't, but after my dad's death…" Sameen shrugged, "she was different."

Root watched her with quiet eyes, the spoon hanging from her mouth. "Yeah?" she asked softly.

"Yeah." Sameen nodded, putting the Slurpee down and picking up the banana. "She…It wasn't that she was mean, but she was…less patient with me. If I didn't get upset about something, that was a fight. If I didn't get excited about something, that was a fight. I came home one day and found her dead in her bed. Like she'd laid down for a nap." Sameen took the spoon from Root. "I'm sorry about your mom."

Root watched her scoop Nutella from the jar and smear it on the end of the banana. Sameen bit into the banana, smiling slightly. Root picked up her Slurpee again and chewed on the end of her straw.

"Do you still want to be friends?" Root asked, almost whispering.

"What?" Sameen asked, mouth full of chocolate and banana. "Of course. It would be awkward if I spurned you just before you moved in."

Root rolled her eyes. "But seriously?"

"Seriously," Sameen smirked. "It'd be awkward."

Root smiled despite herself and sipped her drink. Sameen ate the banana until there was one small piece left. She spooned on some Nutella and reached out, letting Root eat it from her fingers.

"Your lips and tongue are blue," Sameen said. "So gross."

"You're just jealous," Root said around the food. "Red doesn't stain you."

"Oh yeah, because blue lips are so attractive. I'm so into that asphyxia," Sameen snarked, rolling her eyes.

"Hey!" Zoe's voice called from behind Sameen.

She turned to see Zoe and Joss coming towards them. She waved them over. They jogged up, stopping in front of them. Joss reached up to take Sameen's Slurpee.

"That's mine," Sameen said, yanking it back. She wiped the straw off. "What's up?"

Zoe took a spoon of Nutella from Root. "We were sent to bring you back. It's bedtime."

Sameen sighed and nodded. She slid down and took the food as Root handed it down. She passed the food to Joss and reached up to put her hands on Root's hips and help her down off the wall. Root and Zoe started back and Sameen and Joss followed further back.

"She ok?" Joss asked Sameen quietly. "That was hard to watch."

Sameen shrugged. "I think she'll be ok. I didn't know her mom was that bad."

Joss nodded and handed Sameen her Slurpee. "She's terrible. A few years ago, her mother showed up at our middle school in the middle of the day, just drunk beyond belief. Someone called Root's dad and he showed up and took her home."

Sameen chewed on her straw, watching Root and Zoe talk to each other up ahead. "What was her dad like?"

"We didn't see too much of him," Joss answered, bouncing the Nutella jar in her hand. "He was absent, I think. I don’t remember seeing him at any school functions. Didn’t think it was worth it."

"Wow," Sameen shook her head, "That's harsh."

They stopped in front of the hotel, a block from the soccer field. Sameen followed the girls inside and they made their way up to their room. All the adults were asleep, so they tiptoed down the hall as quietly as possible. Zoe unlocked to door and let them in.

The girls got dressed in silence, exhausted from the evening. Joss and Zoe had the bed by the window. Root and Sameen's was near the bathroom. Sameen crawled into bed and threw herself down, her face smashing into the pillows. She breathed in the smell of hotel linens and sighed happily.

She felt the bed dip next to her and turned her head to look at Root. Someone had turned the lights off, but from this close, she could see that Root looked better than she had an hour ago. They both got under the blankets. Sameen lifted her head to look over Root at the other bed.

Joss and Zoe were cuddled up, only their hair visible above the blankets. Sameen rolled her eyes and dropped back down. She wondered if they were trying to give them privacy. Root was watching her.

"Ready for sleep?" Sameen whispered.

Root nodded and opened her arms for Sameen to move closer. Sameen tucked her head under Root's chin like she did almost every night and sighed, wondering when she became a cuddler.

"Sameen," Root whispered from above her. "You're going to win tomorrow."

"Of course we are," Sameen answered her. "I'm on the team."


	13. Break Even

Root groaned as Sameen shook her awake. It was nice to have an alarm clock that didn’t let you stay asleep, but Root hated that Sameen was a morning person. She flung an arm in her direction, keeping her eyes clenched shut.

“Root, get up. You have to shower,” Sameen grabbed the arm Root was waving and used it to roll her over. “Rise and shine.”

“I’ll rise, but I refuse to shine,” Root groaned and tried to open her eyes, but the light was blinding. “Too bright.”

The blankets disappeared from around her and the rush of cold air shocked her into awareness. She sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“Why do you hate me?” she whined.

Sameen was kneeling on the bed next to her, her long, wet hair tied up in a ponytail. Root could tell she’d been awake for a while and had probably already jogged around the neighborhood. Sameen glared at her and pushed her off the bed.

Root’s feet landed on the cold, wood floor and she shivered. Bear raced over to sniff at her feet. He had grown a lot since they’d found him, but he’s ears were still too big for his body. She patted his head. Standing, she stretched her arms over her head and yawned.

“Root…” Sameen warned.

“I’m going!” Root headed for the door. “I’m showering.”

She walked out the door, telling Bear to stay, and down the hall to the bathroom. Her hand felt around in the shower before landing on the handle and turning the water on. She shivered as she pulled her pajamas off, keeping a hand on the counter to steady herself.

Root stared at herself in the mirror, eyes running over her sharp edges. She wasn’t as skinny as she’d been before she met Sameen, but she wasn’t exactly curvy. She wondered if she’d ever have breasts.

The mirror started steaming up and Root stepped into the shower. She tilted her head back, letting the water soak her hair.

They’d moved her in over the weekend, once they’d gotten back from the Championship game. The game had been last Wednesday and when Sameen’s team won by a landslide, Principal McCarthy had canceled school for the rest of the week.

Most of Root’s stuff was still packed up from the hurricane last fall, so it had been easy to move. When they’d brought it all over, Sameen had put her trophy on her dresser and told Root that everywhere else was free game, but if she moved the trophy, she was dead.

They’d made a trip to Target to buy another bookshelf. Mrs. Reese had asked if they’d need an air mattress for Root to sleep on, but they’d decided to just let Root sleep in Sameen’s bed, like they normally did. So far, living with Sameen was feeling pretty normal.

Root poured soap on the pink loofa they’d bought for her. She was dreading going back to school. Rationally, she knew she couldn’t avoid the kids at school forever, but it was still scary to have to go back and face them. Sameen would be with her for most of the day.

Root sighed and rinsed herself off, stepping out of the shower into the steamy room. She pulled a towel off the rack and wrapped herself. When she turned the water off, there was a knock on the door.

“Root?” Sameen’s voice asked. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” Root said, running a brush through her hair.

The door opened and the cool air made Root shiver. She smiled at Sameen and pulled another towel off the rack to dry her hair. Bear rushed into the room, sniffing around at Root. He put his paws up on the sink.

Sameen pushed him down and picked up her tooth brush, already fully dressed. Root watched her brush her teeth as she tied up her hair and then reached for her own toothbrush. They brushed their teeth in silence, making faces at each other in the mirror, Bear sitting between them.

Finally, Sameen spit into the sink and rinsed her toothbrush off.

“How did you ever make it to school on time before I forced you awake?” Sameen asked, moving Bear away so Root could spit.

Root rinsed her mouth out before answering. “Honestly, who knows?”

Sameen laughed and led them back into their bedroom. Root waited until she’d turned to face the desk before dropping her towel to get dressed. She opened the small dresser they’d gotten her to pull out her clothes. She had to push Bear away to keep from accidentally smashing his nose in the drawer.

“Do you think people will talk to me about last week?” Root asked Sameen’s back, hopping as she pulled her jeans on.

Sameen shrugged, drawing on her desk with a pencil. “I’ll keep your name out of their mouths.”

Root rolled her eyes. “You can’t fight everyone in the school, Sameen.”

“I can try.”

Root laughed and gave up, pulling a shirt over her head. She grabbed her shoes and socks and headed downstairs, Sameen and Bear behind her. She heard John, Lionel, and Mrs. Reese in the kitchen.

“Morning!” she greeted as she walked in. She dropped her shoes on the floor and sat at the dining table. “This looks so good!”

Mrs. Reese had cooked them breakfast. Root looked at the pancakes, eggs, and bacon in front of her and smiled. Bear sat next to her, putting a paw on her leg. She broke off a piece of bacon and fed it to him.

“Don’t get too used to this,” Mrs. Reese warns her. “I hardly ever do this, but it’s your first day with us, so I pulled out all the stops.”

Root grinned at her and dug into her food. She glanced up at Sameen, unsurprised to see almost all of her food gone already. She could really pack it in. Lionel hardly ate anything. He looked less awake than she was and several times he almost nodded off onto his pancakes.

“Alright,” Mrs. Reese said, glancing at her watch, “Time to go. The bus will be here soon.”

Root took one last bite and pulled her shoes on. She hurried to the front door, grabbing her bag from the hook by the door and heading outside. Mrs. Reese kept a hand in Bear’s collar to keep him inside. Sameen led them to the bus stop, still eating her last piece of bacon.

Sameen saw Root watching her and glared. “I’m still growing. I need this protein.”

Root held her hands up. “I’m not judging you.”

“She still thinks eating is going to make her taller,” Lionel laughed. “Good fucking luck.”

Sameen lunged for him, wrapping his head in a headlock, pushing him down. John was still trying to pull them apart when the bus pulled up. Root just shook her head and got on the bus, the siblings bickering behind her.

“Look who it is,” Joss said, grinning from the back of the bus, “The four horsemen of the apocalypse.”

“Good Morning, Joss,” John said politely. “Morning, Zoe.”

Root watched him walk to the back of the bus and slid into an empty seat, scooting all the way to the window so Sameen had space. Sameen sat down heavily and threw her bookbag on the floor in front of her.

Sameen stretched up and glance back at John. She looked back at Root and mimed vomiting.

“He does that every morning,” she scoffed. “’Good Morning, Joss. Morning, Zoe.’”

Root giggled. “How did I ever live without knowing that?”

“Well,” Sameen said, faking enthusiasm, “now, you’ll ride the bus with us every morning and see it firsthand!”

Root punched Sameen in the arm. “It’s cute. He’s greeting his girlfriends.”

“If I ever date someone and they’re that gross, I’m going to dump them, immediately,” Sameen said confidently.

Root smiled. If she and Sameen ever dated, she knew that Sameen would let her do whatever she wanted. She talked a big game, but she was a total pushover.

Sameen caught her looked and glared. “What?”

“Nothing. Just trying to imagine the gruff ex-marine you’re going to end up with.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Fuck you.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root met Sameen in the hall in front of their Biology classroom. They walked in together, taking their seats.

“How was first period?” Sameen asked her, pulling out her notebook. “Anyone bother you?”

Root shook her head. “No. Thank God.” She looked around the classroom, but no one was looking at them.

“Good, I have John and the girls keeping an eye out, too.”

“The girls?” Root asked, pulling out her pencil case.

“Zoe and Joss,” Sameen said, playing with the end of her braid. “I can’t say all three names every time.”

Root just chuckled as the bell rang. Mr. Ingram stood up and moved around the desk to lean on the front.

“Class,” he said, “something very big happened last week.”

His eyes landed on Sameen and Root watched her tense. Root was so focused on her own drama that she hadn’t considered that Sameen was basically a hero now. She was the reason the Bishop High School had its first ever Championship win.

“Our own Miss Shaw led the Bishop Badgers to a Championship title!” He applauded, signaling for the rest of the class to applaud, too. “Stand up, Sameen!”

Sameen shook her head, refusing to stand. Root grabbed her arm and stood up, forcing her to stand up, too. Sameen stared at her, looking betrayed.

“Why?” Sameen whispered. “How could you?”

Root laughed as Sameen yanked her arm away and let her sit back down. She smiled at Mr. Ingram as she settled into her seat.

“Now,” Mr. Ingram said to the class, “We’re only 2 weeks away from finals and I know that you’ve all got your summer brains in, so I thought we would start reviewing the material.”

He picked up a stack of study guides from the desk behind him and started passing them out. He stopped next to Root and dropped two study guides onto their desk.

“Have you heard?” he asked them.

Sameen pulled a study guide across the table as Root shook her head.

“Heard what?” Root asked.

Mr. Ingram smiled at them. “You’re both tied for top of your class.”

Root and Sameen looked at each other, confused.

“Well,” Sameen shrugged. “We do all of our work together and I got a B minus on that English paper.”

“I got an A plus,” Root said, thoughtfully.

“So,” Mr. Ingram concluded, “Your final exams, and subsequently, your final grades, are going to determine who finishes Freshman year ahead.”

He gave them another smile and walked away to pass out the rest of the guides. Root turned to look at Sameen. She opened her mouth to talk, but Sameen grabbed her study guide and threw it across the room.

“Hey!” Root protested. “What the hell?”

Sameen smirked at her. “Revenge.”

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“I’m just saying,” Root said, staring down at her meatloaf, “I don’t think is actually food.”

She pushed the tray away from herself and sighed. Looking around the cafeteria, Root tried to relax. She knew people were looking at her, but if she pretended she didn’t care, maybe they’d stop.

“We could always bring lunch,” Sameen said around a mouthful of potatoes.

Root shook her head, amazed. “That’s your second serving. How do you do that?”

Sameen just shrugged and smiled, cheeks bulging slightly. Her eyes slid past Root and hardened. She swallowed her food and rose to her feet.

Root looked over her shoulder and frowned, standing. Martine was heading towards them, looking smug. If there was one person Root wished dead, it was Martine. She hadn’t spoken to Root since Halloween, but Root still hadn’t forgiven her. Sameen told her that Martine was still being obnoxious in their history class.

“Root, Sameen,” Martine greeted them, stopping at their table. “How are you doing?”

Root crossed her arms. “What do you want?”

Martine pressed a hand to her chest, eyelashes fluttering. “I’m just checking in on you. I heard about what happened last week.” She smiled at Sameen. “I didn’t get a chance to see your game. Congratulations, though.”

“Fuck off,” Sameen scowled.

Root was starting to get angry. Martine was always such a bitch and Root really doubted she was here to ‘check in.’

“I came over to express my concern,” Martine turned back to Root. “I heard you guys got pretty drunk on Valentine’s day.”

Root shifted, fists clenching. She could guess where this was going. “So?”

Martine shrugged delicately. “I mean, I can understand Sameen needing to drink to hang out with you. I had to get wasted just to sit next to you, but-“

Root pulled her arm back to punch her, but Sameen caught it and held her back.

“It’s not worth it, Root,” Sameen said quietly.

“But,” Martine continued like nothing had happened, “I was surprised to see you drinking, Root. I’d be worried about becoming…dependent on it. Then again, I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the alcoholic tree.”

Sameen released Root’s arm. “Go for it.”

Root pulled her arm back and punched Martine in the face, knocking her to the ground. Around them, the students in the cafeteria started yelling. Sameen grabbed Root’s arm again and pulled her towards the exit. Root grabbed her bag from the ground and followed her out.

When they walked into the hallway, Root took a deep breath. She pumped her fist in the air, cheering.

“That felt great!” she exclaimed. “I busted her lip right open!”

“Ok, Rambo, calm down,” Sameen chuckled, pushing her to keep walking.

Root slipped her arms through her bag’s straps and skipped down the hall. “Man, that was such a rush.” She punched the air a few times. “I feel like I can do anything.”

Sameen grabbed her arm and pulled her through a doorway. Root looked around, confused, as Sameen pushed her into a chair.

“Why are we in the principal’s office?” Root asked.

“Because,” Sameen said as a phone rang in a side room, “When you punch someone, you get in trouble.”

Principal McCarthy walked out of the side room, smiling. She stopped in front of them, crossing her arms.

“What’s this I hear about you punching Miss Rousseau?” she asked Root.

Root felt the blood drain from her face. She hadn’t even considered that she could get in trouble. She’d never been in trouble before in her life. She was always good about covering her tracks online and she’d never done anything illegal in person before.

“I am so sorry,” Root started. “I don’t know what came over me. I never do stuff like this. I’ll do anything you want, just please don’t tell Mrs. Reese. I don’t even-“

“Whoa, slow down,” the principal said, holding her hands up. She smirked at Sameen. “You’re not in trouble, Root. I hear what she said to you. You have a stellar record and I think we can forget all about this.”

Root’s mouth dropped open. “What? Really?”

“Really,” she said. She gestured for the girls to stand up. “Now get out of here; lunch is almost over.”

Root stood up and hurried out of the office before Principal McCarthy could change her mind. She looked back at Sameen.

“What if I got detention?”

Sameen shrugged, unbothered. “It’s not a big deal Root. I’ve had detention before. I think Mrs. Reese would be relieved that you were a normal kid.”

“I’m normal,” Root protested as they walked down the hall towards the gym. “I’m just… cautious. I need a full ride to college and I don’t want to do anything to compromise that.”

“Understood,” Sameen said, giving her a mock salute. “We have to find you a rich wife who can pay all your bills.”

Root laughed and pushed her away. “Shut up.”

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“Come on,” Sameen said, hovering over Root, “two more.”

Root struggled to do another push-up, arms shaking. “I can’t.”

Sameen dropped onto the ground, crossing her legs in front of her. “You have one more to go.”

They’d finally finished the treehouse recently and Mrs. Reese had bought the set of weights she’d promised Sameen on her birthday. They’d put them on the second floor of the treehouse, saving the first floor for sleeping bags and beanbag chairs. There was no way to bring power into the treehouse, but they’d brought all the board games they had and a good number of books.

Sameen and Root had been working out together after school a few days a week. Now that Root was living with them, Sameen had decided they were working out together every night.

Root did her last push-up and collapsed on the ground, sweating. “Why are you doing this to me? Can’t you be fit for the both of us?”

“Studies show that exercising is good for the mind,” Sameen said, passing Root a towel. “Don’t you want to help your mind?”

“I won’t be any good mentally, if physically, I’m exhausted,” Root countered, slowly pulling her legs under her to sit up. She wiped her face with the towel. “How much more?”

“We’re done,” Sameen said, standing. “You are free.”

Root laughed, rising to her feet and slinging the towel over her shoulder. She tugged at the bottom of her tank top. Sameen may be comfortable with working out in a sports bra and jogging shorts, but Root kept covered up. She didn’t like how skinny she still was.

She walked across the floor and sat in the window, pulling one over the window sill to hang outside. A noise made her look towards the road and she saw John’s car coming down the street.

“I’m really excited for Summer,” Root sighed, leaning against the frame. “We’re going to have a lot of fun.”

“I’m thinking about building a Go-Kart,” Sameen said, coming to stand next to her. “Maybe John will help me.”

Root looked at her and smiled. “That’ll be fun.” She turned back to the window.

“Are you ok?” Sameen asked her. “Can I do something to help?”

“I’m just adjusting,” Root replied, reaching out to touch a tree branch. She craned her next to look up at the tree house roof. “Do you think we could get up there?”

“On the roof?” Sameen asked.

“Yeah.”

“Probably. Go out on the branch. I can give you a lift.”

Root grabbed hold of the branch and pulled herself through the window. She threw her leg over the branch and scooted to the end, reaching out to lay a hand on the roof.

“I think I can make it,” She said, carefully crawling onto the roof. She turned herself around and called down to Sameen. “Come on up!”

Sameen climbed out of the window and reached up the roof, hauling herself up with her arms.

“Wow,” Root said, watching her with admiration, “you have remarkable upper body strength.”

“All this could be yours,” Sameen said, standing and walking across the roof, “if you did more pushups.”

“Ugh,” Root rolled onto her back and stared at the pink and orange sky, “pass.”

The sun was starting to set and Root took a deep breath. Night brought no relief from the heat, but Root still felt calmer in the dark. Summer was only a few weeks away and she was starting to get restless. She let her head fall to the side, spotting Sameen looking over the neighborhood.

“How does it feel to be tall?” Root asked her, lazily.

Sameen twisted to glare at her. “Why are you so obsessed with my height?”

Root shrugged, tapping her toes together. “You’re so small. I feel like I need to protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting. I do the protecting.”

Root widened her eyes dramatically. “Wow. You’re like Batman.”

“Maybe I’ll be Batman for Halloween.”

“No,” Root object, rising to her feet, “I have all our costumes planned.”

Sameen turned around to stare at her. “Seriously! It’s April!”

‘No one has ever said that I am anything, but forward thinking.”

Sameen smiled. “You always think about the future, I know.”

“I do,” Root confirmed, slowly walking towards her. “Do you?”

Sameen crossed her arms. “I mostly think about future meals.”

Root laughed, rolling her eyes. She heard the door to the house opened and turned to see John coming into the yard.

“Root? Sameen?” he called up to them, squinting into the setting sun. “You up there?”

“Yeah!” Root called down, heading back to the tree branch. “Dinner?”

“It’s dinner time!”

She heard Sameen scoff behind her chuckled. “We’re coming down!”

They climbed back into the treehouse and gathered their things. Root caught Sameen looking at her and flushed.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Sameen shook her head and heading down the steps to the lower level. “I was just thinking about how glad I am that you think about the future.”

“Oh yeah?” Root asked, following her down. She picked her bag up, sliding it over her shoulder.

“Yeah. I’ll worry about our present and you can worry about our future.”

Root watched Sameen start down the rope ladder, thinking about what she’d said. ‘Our future.’ Root swallowed the lump in her throat. Sameen might not like girls, or she might not like Root, but she still wanted a future with her.

When Sameen asked if Root wanted to get married, Root had said that she imagined a future where she lived in a city with her best friend and their dog. Well, she had a best friend and a dog. She should feel like that was enough, but she didn’t.

She didn’t know why, but Root was starting to feel lonely. Even living with her three best friends, she felt lonely all the time. Sameen had cut back on their physical affection since Valentine’s day. They still slept tangled together, but it was different.

Root had pushed her too far and now she was pulling away. Root cleared her throat. What mattered was that Sameen saw a future together. She wanted Root around and Root was going to be around. That would be enough.

“Root?” Sameen called from the ground.

“Coming!” Root hurried to the ladder and climbed down. She followed Sameen into their house.


	14. Semi-Charmed Life

Root adjusted her grip on the gun, squinting down the barrel. “Make sure to watch the kickback.”

“I’m watching,” Sameen said from her camping chair. “I’ve been watching for almost half an hour.”

School had ended just over a week ago and Root and Sameen had started checking off their list of summer activities. So far, they’d had another X-Files watch through, watched all eight Fast & Furious movies (and the two shorts), and gone to the hill every night. Now, Root and Sameen had ridden their bikes out to the wooded area a few miles from Bishop.

Root had borrowed one of John’s hunting rifles. It was heavier than what she was used to, but she was making due. Root pulled the trigger, knocking a soda can off the fence.

“Ok,” Root lowered the gun, pulling the strap over her head, “you try.”

Sameen shot out of her chair and grabbed the gun from Root’s hand. She bounced it in her hands. “It’s heavier than it looks.”

“Can you handle it?” Root asked, smirking.

Sameen put the strap over her head, adjusting it on her chest. “I’m gonna make this gun my bitch.”

Root laughed and ran across their shooting range. She pulled more soda cans along the wooden fence. She liked coming out here, the long grass and tall trees made her feel full of life.

She ran back to Sameen. “Ok, don’t shoot yet. Just aim and feel the weight of the gun in your hands.”

Root watched Sameen stare down the barrel, adjusting her hands. She reached out to pull Sameen’s hand back.

“Don’t hold the barrel near the tip; hold it closer to the grip. Keep your hands away from the bullets, yeah?”

Sameen looked at Root, incredulous. “Wow. I’m not dumb.

Root smiled sheepishly. “Sorry. It’s just nice to be teaching you things.”

“You teach me things all the time, nerd.” Sameen stared down the barrel again. “Can I shoot now?”

“Sure.” Root skipped over to the camping chair and sat down.

She watched Sameen fiddle with the trigger, trying to get comfortable. Root didn’t find guns or hunting fun, but she was good at it. Her quick reflexes had helped her when she and her dad used to go hunting. She tried to never kill an animal though, but if she did, she would give them a proper burial. She’d stopped hunting after her dad left.

Sameen pulled the trigger, her shot going wild as the rifle kicked back. She groaned and clamped a hand over her shoulder.

“That fucking hurt,” she groaned.

Root tried to hold back her laughter. “I told you to watch the kickback.”

“I didn’t think it was that bad,” Sameen scowled, throwing the gun to the ground and stomping over to Root. “You seemed fine.”

“I’ve been doing this my whole life,” Root responded.

“Well,” Sameen said, crossing her arms. “Have you ever tried archery?”

“Of course,” Root rolled her eyes. “I still have my father’s bow.”

Sameen frowned, obviously uncomfortable with being one-upped. “Fine. Maybe I’m not cut out for shooting guns.”

“Or,” Root countered. “That was the first time you’ve ever done it and you’re just upset that you weren’t immediately good at it.”

“That…is so wrong,” Sameen scoffed, tossing her ponytail over her shoulder.

“Does that mean you’re going to try again?”

Sameen glared at her, but turned and stomped back to the gun. “Just wait. The next time you complain about doing too many push-ups, I’m going to bring this up.”

Root rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a baby.”

“I’ll show you a baby,” Sameen muttered, aiming the gun at the first soda can again.

She pulled the trigger, gun going wild again. “Fuck. Let me try again.”

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Sameen laughed when Root knelt in front of her, gun strapped to her back, half-buried in tall grass. Root held up a crown made from dandelions.

“My Lady, please accept this token of my affection,” Root said in a grand voice.

“You’re so weird,” Sameen said, but she took the crown and placed it on her head. “What now?”

“Now,” Root said, standing, “we are to be wed!”

“Hold on,” Sameen crossed her arms, “Why are you the knight?”

“Because,” Root grinned. She started walking through the trees.

Sameen followed her, her hiking boots crunching loudly. “’Because’ is not an answer. I should be the knight and you should be the lady.”

“Why? Because you’re more butch than I am?” Root laughed and ran her hand along a low-hanging branch. “That’s archaic. Just because I’m feminine doesn’t mean I can’t be a knight.”

“The whole knighthood/chivalry thing is archaic,” Sameen pointed up ahead. “Bunny.”

“Ooh!” Root dropped her bag and took off into the trees, chasing the rabbit.

Sameen looked around for a place to wait. Knowing Root, she had some time to kill. She saw a branch low enough to grab, picked up Root’s bag, and pulled herself up into the tree. When she was settled in, she opened Root’s bag and pulled out an apple.

She was snooping around in the bag when her back pocket buzzed. Rolling her eyes, she pulled her phone out. It was Tomas again.

They’d been texting some over the last few weeks. Mostly, Tomas flirted with her and she told him to fuck off. She had to admit, though, he was a little charming. Sameen wasn’t sure how she felt about it.

She hadn’t told Root that she and Tomas were talking. When her phone buzzed while they were together, she lied and said it was Joss or Zoe. One time, she’d said it was Martine and Root had tried to snatch it from her hands. After that close call, she started keeping her phone on silent.

Sameen dropped her phone into Root’s bag, ignoring Tomas’ text. She wasn’t entirely sure why she hadn’t told Root about it or why she was still texting Tomas. She didn’t really feel one way or another about him, but that wasn’t anything new.

When she figured out what her plan was with Tomas, she would tell Root. Until then, there was no need to upset her. Not that it would upset her because nothing was happening. Sameen leaned her head back against the tree trunk and sunk her teeth into her apple, biting off a large chunk.

Sometimes, it seemed like she and Root were dating and, sometimes, she didn’t really mind it. Other times, however, it was stifling. She liked her freedom and having time to herself. Root was always around now. They went to school together, hung out together, lived together. Sameen didn’t have a second alone.

She knew if she asked, Root would find something else to do and leave her alone. If she said she wanted to spend time with Joss or Zoe, without Root, Root would probably understand. If she told Root she wanted to spend time alone with Tomas, which maybe she did…She just didn’t know how Root would feel and she didn’t know how to find out.

“Sameen!” Root called from the ground. “Look!”

She looked down and saw Root carrying a small, grey rabbit. She raised her eyebrows, impressed. The rabbit sniffed around at Root’s shirt and nibbled at Root’s hair.

“Wow, you caught it.”

Root looked smug. “Of course. Did you doubt me?”

“Honestly,” Sameen shrugged, “Yeah.”

“Do not doubt your knight, fair maiden!” Root boasted, sticking her chest out. “I am sound of mind and strong of body!”

The rabbit wiggled in her arms, suddenly kicking and trying to jump away. Sameen watched Root struggled to hold on to it, eventually losing the battle. The rabbit ran away, disappearing in the brush.

Sameen sighed and dropped down Root’s bag before hopping off the branch. She took one last bite of her apple and threw it over her shoulder. “What now?”

“Technically,” Root said, eyes on the discarded apple, “That’s littering.”

Sameen frowned. “It’s an apple. It decomposes.”

“But, if you drop it where apples don’t naturally grow, it throws off the ecosystem and ruins the planet.”

“Ok,” Sameen rolled her eyes, “dramatic, much?”

“I’m just trying to save the planet we live on.”

“I live on this planet,” Sameen said, walking to the apple core and picking it up. “You live in space.”

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Root held her arms out, balancing as she walked along the side of the train tracks. She held out a leg, trying to stay steady on the iron beam. Sameen stopped next to her, standing in the middle of the track.

“Don’t get your shoe stuck,” Sameen ordered. “If a train comes, I’m going to leave you here.”

“Just don’t go chasing my hat,” Root joked, putting her foot down and continuing on.

Sameen scowled, trudging along next to her. “You are obsessed with that movie.”

“I’m a lesbian, Sameen. I have to watch all the lesbian movies. It’s the law.”

“The law?” Sameen kicked a rock. “That’s dumb.”

Root laughed, not taking her seriously. She had really enjoyed Fried Green Tomatoes. And Bound. And Saving Face. Sameen just complained because she like action movies and Root liked RomComs. For every Fast and Furious movie they watched (not counting the 2 shorts), Root got to pick a lesbian movie.

“I don’t make the rules,” Root smiled.

Sameen snorted, derisively. “You don’t usually follow them either.”

Root saw an abandoned train car up ahead and hoped off the beam. “Hey, let’s check it out.”

She started towards it. The large, open car looked like it had been sitting there for years, abandoned. Root jogged towards it.

“Wow,” Sameen said, tossing Root’s bag onto the rusted platform, “this is cool.”

Root took in the whole railroad car. It was long, about 30 feet if she had to guess, and most of the green paint had faded away. She could just make out a faded yellow ‘CCPN’ on the door to the cab. The door was pushed to the side, the inside of the train visible.

Root had never really been interested in trains, but she could admire it for the feat of engineering that it was. They’d sparked an economic revolution and connected the entire country. They were the subject of the first ever motion picture. Also, they were just really cool.

“Ugh, what a hunk of junk,” Sameen grimaced.

Root stared at her. “Trains are great, Sameen. They’re a part of history.”

“Of course, you’re a train nerd.” She stood on her toes and peeked into the car.

Root rolled her eyes and moved to looked at the wheels, black with age. They were big, coming up to her waist. She reached for one, but Sameen stopped her.

“Don’t,” she said, her hands on the bed, “you’ll get Tetanus.”

“Ugh, you’re killing the mood. I’m exploring!”

Root turned away from the wheel, though, and moved to the bed of the train. She watched Sameen try to lift herself into the train and laughed. The bed came up to Root’s chest, but Sameen was half a foot shorter than she was. The train’s floor came up to her chin and, even with her impressive upper body strength, she couldn’t lift herself inside.

“Here,” Root said, kneeling next to her, “use my knee as a step.”

“Is this the knight thing again?” Sameen squinted down at her.

Root rolled her eyes. “No, you’re just three feet tall.”

“Rude,” Sameen muttered, but she put a foot on Root’s knee and boosted herself on the bed. She turned and let her feet hang off the edge. “This would be a cool hideout.”

“Maybe we can bring some blankets or something. Make a club house!” Root suggested, hands on her hips. “No boys allowed.”

“John and Lionel can’t catch a break,” Sameen chuckled. She leaned back on her hands. “Speaking of, what are our plans for tonight?”

Root wandered back to the tracks, inspecting the flowers growing between wooden planks. “I think Zoe and Joss are coming over for a sleepover.”

“Think?”

Root sighed. “They’re so bad at responding to things when they’re together and they’re always together.”

“They’re like us.”

“Except they kiss,” Root muttered to herself. She spotted a flattened penny under some gravel and picked it up. “This is cool.”

She walked to Sameen and showed her. Sameen took it and looked it over.

“You can still see the shield a little.” She tossed it back down to Root.

A horn blaring floated to them down the track. Root reached into her pocket to pull out some coins. She quickly spread them out along the beam before running back to the railroad car. Sameen reached down to hoist her inside. Pulling the gun over her head, she settled down just as the oncoming train came into view.

There wasn’t much distance between their legs and the train, but Root wasn’t worried. Unless something flew off and hit them, there wasn’t much danger. She watched the train approach, wincing at the loud noise.

It blew past at high speed, blowing air into their faces and pushing their hair back. Root grinned as the train clattered passed, steam trailing above it. Trains always made her want to run away. She liked that you never knew where they were heading or where they came from. They just moved from place to place. One day, she might just hop on one and never come back.

She glanced at Sameen, the train still rumbling by. Sameen had her eyes closed and Root couldn’t tell what she was thinking about. Root wondered if trains brought back memories of her childhood or maybe Sameen was just worried about getting dirt in her eyes.

Eventually, the end of the train came around the curve and the last car whistled by. Root left the gun on the train as she hopped down from their car and jogged to the tracks. The coins she’d put out had been flattened, but when she tried to pick them up, they were too hot to touch.

She turned back to Sameen. “I’m just going to leave these here. They’ll take too long to cool down. We can get them next time.”

“So, this is our new hideout?” Sameen smirked, tossing Root’s bag to the ground.

Root nodded, grinning. “Yes! We can mix it up. Sometimes the hill, sometimes here. This is definitely a liminal space at night.”

“What the fuck,” Sameen huffed as she jumped off the bed, “is a liminal space?”

Root started back down the railroad towards where they’d left their bikes. She could hear Sameen getting her bag and the gun and following her.

“We haven’t talked about this before?”

“Don’t remember,” Sameen said, walking alongside her. “You talk a lot, though.”

“Whatever,” Root laughed, bumping their shoulders together. “A liminal space is a place where the veil is thin and time is in stasis.”

“’A place where the veil is thin?’ Is this an alien thing?”

“No, it’s a…You know that feeling when you’re at school and no one else is there and the air feels almost weird? Like you can never tell if it’s day or night, even if the sun is streaming through the windows? Or like an empty gas station in a new town? A pier on a lake when you want to swim, but aren’t allowed to?”

Sameen looked skeptical, but shrugged. “Sure, I guess. I don’t really get creeped out.”

“It’s not creeped…” Root sighed. “I’m not explaining this well.”

“Why would the empty train at night be a liminal space?”

Root shoved her hands in her pockets, feeling the rifle bounced against her butt as she stepped. “I don’t know. I just think it would be cool to look at the stars, at eternity, from an abandoned train, from something that’s meant to take us places, but can’t anymore.”

“Are you…” Sameen hesitated. “Are you feeling restless? We don’t have enough saved for a road trip, but we could do something.”

Root smiled softly, happy that Sameen was trying to reach out. “We’re going to Corpus Christi soon. That’s going to be really exciting.”

“Will you tell me what’s happening in Corpus Christi?” Sameen scowled.

“Nope! And, no, I won’t tell you what day we’re going so you can google it.”

“Whatever,” Sameen mumbled. “As long as it isn’t some boring art museum thing or something.”

Root’s phone buzzed and she fished it out of her back pocket. Joss and Zoe were down for a sleepover tonight and they were bringing beer. Root’s fingers hesitated over the keypad, Martine’s words coming back to her. She shook her head and told them she was excited to have their first sleepover in the treehouse.

“Ok, Zoe and Joss are in,” Root told Sameen. “They’re bringing beer.”

“Do all high school kids drink this much?” Sameen asked as they walked along.

Root shrugged. “I have no idea. Maybe. Enough for Elias to stay in business.”

“Have you seen that kid’s brother? With the scar?” Sameen asked, whistling. “That is one mean-looking motherfucker.”

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Sameen lay on the wooden floor of the treehouse, directly in front of the fan. The loud whirr as it turned out cool air was lulling her to sleep. The sun had set a long time ago, but it was still so hot out. She closed her eyes, listening to Root chat with the other girls.

“Really? With who?” Root was asking.

“Cal Beecher,” Joss answered with a giggle. “He is so cute.”

Glass bottles clinked. Sameen knew Zoe and Joss were huddled under a blanket together, somehow tolerating the heat. They’d both brought shorts to sleep in, Sameen thought to herself, grumpy. She’d brought pants, and when the heat didn’t subside, just took them off. They were all girls; they could handle her in her underwear.

“Well, my first kiss was with John,” Zoe said, sighing. “We were four. He was also the first person I made out with.”

“Gross,” Sameen spoke up from across the room. “I bet kissing him is like kissing a wall.”

“Actually,” Joss called to her, “He’s very tender.”

Sameen clutched her stomach. “Please stop. I’m gonna vomit.”

They laughed at her. She heard Root cough lightly.

“What about you, Root?” Joss asked her. “Who was your first kiss?”

“Oh,” Root said, sounding surprised, “Um, Hanna was. It was just a pop kiss, though.”

“Hanna Frey?” Zoe asked. “Huh, why didn’t I know that?”

“I never told anyone and then she moved away.”

Sameen could hear cloth shuffling.

“That makes sense,” Joss said. “You were together all the time. She was your original Sameen.”

That made her open her eyes and sit up. She glared across the treehouse at the other girls.

“Who is Hanna Frey? Why were you kissing her?” She asked, crossing her arms, not jealous at all. She was just wondering why Root had never talked about her before.

Root looked sheepish. “Um, we were friends in middle school. We hung out like constantly.”

“And you kissed her?” Sameen asked again, just wondering. “Was she your girlfriend?”

“No,” Root shook her head, clasping her hands in her lap, bare legs sticking out from under her large pajama shirt. “She’s straight. We were just practicing.”

“OK,” Sameen said, huffing. She stood up and dragged the fan over to the other girls. If they were going to insist on sitting across the room, then they would have to tolerate the cold air. “Are you still close?”

Root shrugged, pushing her hair behind her ears. “Not really, we talk sometimes, but she’s really busy with school and I’m busy with you, usually.”

Sameen thought about how she still found time to text Tomas and frowned. “Yeah.”

“So,” Zoe said, looking between them. “if Hanna was your first pop kiss, who was the first person you made out with?”

Root blushed. “I’ve never made out with anyone before.”

“What?” Joss asked, leaning away. “No one? Girl, you are missing out.”

Root’s blush darkened. “Um, I mean, I’m sure it’s going to happen soon. I’ll date someone before I graduate.”

Sameen looked at her and wondered again if Root like-liked her. She knew that she and Root were really close, closer than normal friends, but that didn’t necessarily mean that Root had a crush on her. They cuddled when they went to sleep, but Sameen had been the one to start that. Just because Root liked girls didn’t mean that she liked Sameen.

Sameen thought about the way that Root’s eyes lingered on her when she changed. The way she always caught Root smiling at her. They way Root had suggested skinny-dipping on Valentine’s Day and then tried to kiss her.

Root was a lesbian though, maybe she couldn’t help looking at Sameen’s body. Root was really desperate for friendship when Sameen had moved here; she could just be happy to have someone to spend time with. The almost kiss, Sameen thought, what about that? They’d been drunk, she realized; so drunk she couldn’t hop a fence and Root had thrown up on her.

Root didn’t even know that Sameen like girls. Sameen wasn’t even sure if she like girls or just…Root. Sameen swallowed, feeling her heart pound. This was not the way she expected the evening to go. She did not expect them to talk about kissing. She didn’t expect Root to have had another best friend like Sameen. She didn’t expect to finally admit her…feelings? attraction? to Root, even if it was just to herself. Her heart sped up.

Hanna Frey, Sameen said in her head. Another reason Root might not have a crush on her. She used to have someone just like she had Sameen. A different girl, but the same relationship. Maybe Root just got really close to people. Maybe she just showed her affection physically. Maybe she didn’t like Sameen at all.

“Sameen?” Zoe’s voice snapped her out of her reverie.

They were all looking at her, confused. She swallowed, taking a deep breath.

“Sorry, I got…distracted. What?” Sameen said, smiling slightly and trying to seem normal.

She ignored Root’s concerned look and focused on Zoe and Joss.

Zoe raised her eyebrows. “We asked if you’d kissed anyone.”

“Oh,” Sameen shrugged, “my first kiss was some guy in elementary school, if that counts. I haven’t made out either, though.”

Zoe glanced at Joss from the corner of her eye and back at Sameen. “You guys should practice!”

“Practice what?” Sameen asked, scooting so she was closer to the fan.

“Making out!” Zoe said, clapping. “Who better to learn with than friends?”

Sameen glanced at Root, teeth clenched. Root looked thoughtful, like she couldn’t decide if she was excited or not.

“With each other?” Sameen asked Zoe. “Neither of us know how to French kiss. It seems counterproductive.”

Joss rolled her eyes, but Zoe nodded.

“Ok,” Zoe said, reaching out to Root, “come here.”

“What?” Root asked, eyes widening. Her hands tightened around her t-shirt. “Go there?”

“I’m going to teach you how to kiss and then you can teach Sameen.”

Root looked at Sameen. Sameen tried to smile encouragingly. She could feel her stomach flutter at the thought of kissing Root again. Feeling so vulnerable and excited confused Sameen. There wasn’t much that made her feel, but Root got under her skin. She wanted. Root made her want.

Root crawled across the floor to Zoe. Zoe pushed her blanket off and lifted herself onto her knees, pressing herself to Root. She grinned as Root swallowed.

“Ok,” Zoe started, “the key to kissing is confidence! You know the person you’re kissing wants to kiss you, too, so why be scared? Just go for it!”

Root nodded and took a breath. She leaned forward, gently touching her lips to Zoe. Sameen laughed at Root’s muffled cry when Zoe suddenly wrapped her arms around Root’s waist and pulling her to the floor. Joss rolled her eyes at Sameen.

Sameen wasn’t sure if she was supposed to watch Root kiss Zoe. Luckily, Zoe let Root go after a few seconds. Root pushed herself back onto her knees, her hair disheveled. Sameen smiled as Root tried to collect herself.

“See?” Zoe said, sitting up, “Easy!”

Joss punched Zoe in the arm. “You could have given her a heart attack!”

“Root stronger than you think she is,” Zoe asserted, pulling the blanket back over herself. “Now, kiss Sameen.”

Sameen squinted at Zoe, trying to figure out her game. Zoe looked back at her, innocently, eyes wide. She batted her eyelashes.

“Whatever,” Sameen grumbled, shifting onto her knees and shuffling over to Root. “Let’s go. Teach me.”

Root ran her hands through her hair and started to tie it up. “Hold on.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, glancing over at Zoe and Joss. Joss gave her a sneaky thumbs up and she scowled. These girls had probably been planning this for ages. They meddled too much for their own good.

“Leave it down,” Sameen said, nodding to Root’s hair.

“Ok,” Root shrugged, dropping her hands to rest on Sameen’s waist, “Ready?”

Sameen nodded, schooling her face, refusing to show that she might be nervous. This was just like New Year’s, but with tongue. She put her hands on Root’s shoulders, noticing that they were closer in height when they were on their knees. Root leaned forward, eyes running over Sameen’s face.

Sameen took a deep breath and her eyes dropped to Root’s lips. She leaned forward, brushing her lips across Root’s, closing her eyes and taking in their softness. Root pushed harder against her, her lips sliding open to fit Sameen’s.

Sameen’s hands move up, caressing Root’s neck and tangling in her long, brown hair. Root lightly bit her lip, and Sameen sucked in a breath, fingers tightening instinctively. Root hissed as Sameen’s fingers tugged her head back.

Sameen opened her mouth, breathing against Root’s, her body hot where they were pressed together. She felt like she did during the last five minutes of a workout, like scoring the championship goal, like feeling Root’s always cold fingers reach for her as soon as she wakes up. Sameen had never wanted anything as much as she wanted to keep kissing Root.

Her teeth pulled Root’s bottom lip into her mouth and she thought this was what space must taste like, hot and vast and wonderful. Her breath caught as she ran her thumbs across Root’s cheekbones. This was too much.

She pulled back, dropping her hands and standing. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

She looked away as Root swallowed, trying to catch her breath. Sameen’s heart beat loud in her ears. Kissing Root made her feel out of control and she didn’t like it. She didn’t like that her senses were consumed by someone else.

“I don’t think I’m cut out for kissing,” Sameen shrugged. “Not my thing.”

Root glanced at Zoe and Joss and Sameen remembered that they were in the room. She rolled her eyes.

“Wow,” Zoe said, taking a breath, “you seemed pretty into it for someone who isn’t cut out.”

“I said I didn’t like it,” Sameen growled.

She stormed passed them and jumped the four steps to the second level. The wooden boards echoed under her feet as she crossed the room to look out the window, her hands clasping the windowsill, knuckles white. She had to calm down.

Sameen couldn’t understand where this was coming from. Normally, hanging out with Root was so easy. They just talked and looked at the stars, or explored, or did their homework. Why was kissing any different?

“That was really mean,” Joss said from behind her.

Sameen looked over her shoulder to see Joss leaning against the wall, arms crossed. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the window. Down on the ground, Zoe and Root were walking towards the house.

“Whatever.”

“I’m serious,” Joss straightened up, slowly walking towards her. “We all know that Root likes you. You finally kiss her and then scream that you hated it.”

Sameen turned around. “I didn’t want to kiss her!” she hissed, teeth bared. “This was some stupid game you guys started. Not me!”

“I didn’t hear you say no,” Joss countered. “In fact, I heard you tell Root to keep her hair down.”

Sameen threw her arms up, exasperated. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Tell me why you freaked out.”

“I didn’t…” Sameen put her hands on her hips, sighing. She closed her eyes. “I just…got…overwhelmed.”

“Overwhelmed?” Joss sounded understanding.

“I’m not…” Sameen gestured vaguely, opening her eyes. “I’m not good at this.”

“At what?”

“Feelings. People. Root. I don’t know.”

“Sameen,” Joss sighed, “You don’t give yourself enough credit. You’ve been great for Root. She’s so happy.”

“I can’t do this. I can’t…date her,” Sameen shrugged helplessly. “I like hanging out with her and I want to be friends with her for a long time, but…I can’t be a girlfriend like she wants.”

“How do you know what she wants? Have you asked her?”

Sameen hesitated. No, she hadn’t. Of course she hadn’t. What, was she supposed to tell Root she had a crush on her? She couldn’t do that. Root needed a friend, a support system.

“Do you really expect me to believe,” Joss said, sighing again, “that you don’t think Root likes you for who you are?”

“I don’t know. She probably wants to go on dates and hold hands and spend all our time together.”

“How is that different from what you’re doing now?” Joss asked her. “How would dating change anything?”

‘How would dating change anything?’ Sameen took a deep breath. It wouldn’t. They were already ridiculously close. Sameen thought about how they slept cuddled together. How they talked about the future and did everything together.

“I can’t,” she whispered. “I don’t know how. I can’t love her like she deserves.”

Joss sighed and ran a hand over her face. “Ok. I’ll stop pushing, just…” she looked at Sameen with pity. “Just think about it.”

Sameen nodded and turned back to the window. She saw Root start up the rope ladder and sighed. Joss’s feet padded across the floor as she went to meet them. Sameen took a deep breath, feeling the sweat roll down her back.

They’d blown up an air mattress earlier, excited to sleep in the treehouse for the first time. Now, Sameen was dreading it.

“Sameen?”

She turned around, leaning back against the windowsill, and tried to smile at Root. Across the room, Root looked terrified. Normally, only Martine or Lambert made her look like that. Sameen’s stomach clenched, knowing that this time, she had caused that look.

“Hey,” Sameen said almost inaudibly. She cleared and tried again. “Hi.”

“Are you ok?” Root asked. She lifted a foot to step forward, but just put it down again.

“Yeah,” Sameen answered, nodding. “I’m sorry for yelling earlier. It wasn’t you.”

Root looked away, fiddling with the bottom of her shirt. Sameen had bought it for her at Goodwill, a faded Belgian Malinois stamped on the front. Root crossed her arms across her stomach.

“Are…Are we ok?”

Sameen wanted to smile at Root, but she felt drained. How did people have feelings every day? She nodded again.

“Yeah, Root. We’re ok. It’s not you, really. I just…It’s hard to explain.”

Root chuckled softly. “You were so overwhelmed by lust that you had to tear yourself away to keep from ravishing me in front of our friends?”

A surprise laugh came out of her and Sameen shook her head. “Exactly. I was overcome by madness.”

Root relaxed and sat on their bed. Her skinny legs were so long, her knees almost reached her chin. “I’m really happy we’re friends. I don’t know who else would put up with me.”

“I don’t ‘put up’ with you.” Sameen rolled her eyes and crossed to the mattress. “I occasionally enjoy your company.”

Root smiled and pulled the covers back, sliding under them. Sameen laid on the bed, pushing all the blankets onto Root.

“Hey,” Root tried to push the blankets back, “What are you doing?”

“It is too hot for blankets,” Sameen said, laying on the bare mattress, feeling her skin melting. “I’m sleeping like this.”

She closed her eyes, avoiding Root’s face. Sameen was really hot, but she also wasn’t in the mood to sleep as close to Root as she normally did. If she was more awake, she told herself, she might have gone inside to sleep and avoided sharing a bed altogether.

She felt Root adjust herself on the mattress. When the movement stopped, she cracked an eye. Root was sleeping with her back to Sameen, curled into a ball, knees hanging off the bed. Sameen swallowed and opened her eyes, staring at the ceiling.

She didn’t know where to go from here. She wanted to be with Root, as friends, maybe more, but if one kiss made her so crazy, what would a relationship do? Maybe she needed a distraction. Something to keep her mind off Root and her smile and her lips.

Sameen’s phone light up from where she’d dropped it next to the bed hours ago. She picked it up, reading Tomas’ name on the screen. She opened the text, wincing at the flirty message. Did he expect her to answer at 3am?

She glanced at Root’s back and frowned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It'll get better


	15. Gotta Go My Own Way

Root took a deep breath, pedaling slowly down Market Road 70, Bear jogging along beside her. Sameen was off doing her own thing, so Root had decided to go back to their abandoned railroad car and start setting up their clubhouse. She always felt bad when they left Bear behind, so she'd tied his leash to her handlebars and brought him along.

She looked around at her surroundings, taking in the old wooden fences and softly rippling wheat fields. Being outdoors calmed her down, especially when she was outside of Bishop. She spent so much time in front of her computer at night that the cool breeze and hot sun was soothing.

Root smiled and glanced down at Bear. His tongue was sticking out the side of his mouth and his tail was wagging happily. Sameen had left early this morning, leaving a note that said "Hanging out. Won't text." Root had texted their friends, but no one knew where she was.

Root stood up on the pedals, her bike swinging her legs, duffel bag of supplies bouncing on her back. It made her feel weird that Sameen wouldn't tell her who she was spending time with, but after their treehouse sleepover a few weeks ago, Sameen had been distant.

Root could understand why. Sameen was now painfully aware that Root had a crush on her. They were still close, and, Root guessed that from the outside nothing had changed, but she knew better. Sameen had pulled away and now she was hanging out with other people.

This wasn't the first time Root had a friend who faded away. It just usually happened a lot sooner, not ten months into the friendship. She pedaled quickly, then leaned to the right, turning the bike around the corner, Bear taking long strides to keep up. She straightened out and slowed down, letting Bear catch his breath at the slower pace.

Root hadn't brought up the change to Sameen. She didn't want to accidentally push her away, but she wasn't sure what to do. Before they'd kissed, she had felt secure in their relationship, even happy despite it just being platonic. Now? She felt like she was on shaky ground. She couldn't imagine how awkward the rest of high school would be if they became distant.

A bird sang above her and Root looked up, watching it glide through the air and land on a branch. She hit her brakes, dropping a foot to the worn, dirt road, and swung her bag around. She set it on her knee, digging through it for the book Harold had given her for her last Christmas, The Sibley Guide to Birds.

She pushed the bag back onto her back and paged through the book, one eye on the bird. After a few moments, she found it. Carolina Wren, the book told her. Root reached into the pocket of her overalls and pulled out a sharpie. She circled the name so she'd know she had seen the bird.

She looked up at the bird again, smiling as it sung down to her.

"Carolina Wren," Root said to Bear, "is a common species of Wren that is a resident in the eastern half of the United States of America, the extreme south of Ontario, Canada, and the extreme northeast of Mexico. Huh."

She looked up at the bird. "We're a couple hundred miles from Mexico, Mr. Wren." Root leaned down to Bear. "I know it's a mister because only the misters sing."

Root closed the book and dropped it into her basket with the Sharpie. She pulled her phone out and sent Harold a text to let him know she'd found a new bird. They'd bonded over their interest in nature, or really, Harold wouldn't shut up about birds and Root had taken up bird watching to make him stop. She did like learning about new things, so that was nice.

She squinted up at the bird again. It chirped one more time and took off, flying a couple hundred feet and landing on a roadside stand Root hadn't noticed before.

She started pedaling, heading towards it. As she got closer, she saw a young woman sitting on a stool, reading a thick book. The bird chirped loudly and the girl looked up, scowling. She was trying to scare the bird away, when Root stopped in front of the stand.

"Hello," Root greeted, laughing at the girl's futile efforts. "I think he likes you."

"I wish he'd scram," the girl said, glaring at the bird. She shrugged and stopped trying. "You gonna buy anything?"

Root looked at the table in front of the small stand. It was covered in various types of fudges and statues of wolves carved from wood. Root glanced at the girl confused.

"Did you make this stuff?"

The girl rolled her eyes and pointed to a sign next to the table. "It says 'Claire's Candy and Carvings,' right? I'm Claire."

"I'm Root."

Claire rolled her eyes. "Sure, whatever. Buy something."

Root pulled her duffel bag around and started reaching around for her wallet. Claire's hand dipped into her bag and pulled out her HAM radio.

"Cool! Did you build this?" Claire asked examining the radio.

Root nodded, pulling out her wallet. "Yeah. I'm really into science and stuff. There's a channel that plays space noise."

"I listen to that, too!" Claire grinned, handing the radio back. "I actually intern at KNPA."

Root's mouth dropped open. "You're Claire Mahoney? I always listen to your 2 o'clock radio hour!"

"Really?" Claire laughed. "What a small world."

"Hey, can I give you my number?" Root asked.

Claire raised an eyebrow. "Kind of forward for a dirt road in southern Texas."

Root felt her blood drain and knew her face was red. "No, I- I wasn't…I, um-"

"Relax!" Claire laughed, putting her book down. "I'm just teasing you. I'll take your number, 'Root.'"

Root laughed, relieved, and took a napkin off the table, grabbing her sharpie from the basket. She used her radio as a pad, scribbled her number and handed it over.

"Just text me whenever," Root said, waving awkwardly. "I'm usually free."

"Sure thing," Claire shrugged. She squinted at Root. "You want anything?"

Root put the radio and Sharpie back in her bag and looked around the table. "I'll get some fudge and one of the statues. How much is it?"

"Oh," Claire waved her hand dismissively, "it's on the house. Fans get free stuff."

"Thanks!" Root looked over the flavors and settle on Chocolate Peanut Butter and Pralines and Cream. "Which wolf statue should I take? It's for a friend."

Claire pointed to one of the larger carvings. "This one. I think it's scary."

"Well," Root chuckled, "my friend is scary, too. So this should be good!"

She smiled at Claire and moved the wolf carving into her basket. Claire handed her the wrapped fudge. Root waved and started off again, Bear jumping forward.

She couldn't imagine that Claire made a lot of money like this, but she was out here. Root wondered if cars came out this way. The road ended ahead in a few hundred feet and there didn't seem to be anything else until the trees started. She just shrugged and chalked it up to a Texas thing.

Root reached into her basket and pulled a square of fudge out of the packaging, her bike swerving slightly as she tried to keep her balance. She'd gotten better at wheelies since she and Sameen started hanging out. Sameen's balance was impeccable and she'd been teaching Root.

Root spotted the train tracks to her right and altered course, chewing on her praline fudge. It had been a pretty boring summer so far. Not that that was bad, last summer was awful. She'd been so upset that Hanna had left, she hadn't been able to do anything. Now, though, she'd expected this summer to be exciting, but it was already the end of June and the treehouse mishap had been the most interesting thing to happen.

She slowed down when she got to the tracks, lifting her bike between her legs and stepping over the iron beam. Root started pedaling down the middle of the track, shifting into a lower gear.

"You know, Bear," Root said, "you really are a good jogging partner. I mean, I'm riding a bike, not jogging, but I can see why Sameen lets you tag along."

Bear barked loudly, startling Root and making her laugh. Root saw their railroad car in the distance and sped up. When she was almost in front of it, she slowed to a stop and got off her bike, carrying it off the tracks and leaning it against the car's tall wheels.

She knelt to untie Bear's leash and then picked him up, carrying him to the car and lifting him in. He immediate ran further into the car, sniffing around. Root tossed her bag up and turned to look for her coins.

They were still where she'd left them a few weeks ago. She picked them up, examining them as she wandered back to the railroad car. Maybe she could turn them into a bracelet. If she did enough, she could make chainmail or something with them. She pocketed them and lifted herself into the car.

It was a lot easier to hoist herself up onto things now that she and Sameen were working out together. Root flexed and grinned as she saw some definition in her bicep.

"Bear!" Root called, grabbing his attention. "I'm like Wonder Woman!"

Bear raced back to her, sniffing at her feet and woofing softly. She smiled at him and sat down. He jumped into her lap, hugging and licking her face.

"Ok, Bear! Stop!" Root laughed, pushing him off her. "Down, boy."

Root tracked him with her eyes as he walked off to keep sniffing around. They'd had him for about seven months and he'd grown so much. He still acted like a puppy though, running and rolling around.

Root reached behind her to grab her bag and put it on her lap. She unzipped it and pulled out her radio, a map of the continental US, and a large quilt. The train’s bed was metal, so she’d bought the fluffiest black quilt she could find at Target. Now when it got dark, it would feel like they were floating. Standing, she shook the quilt out and laid it on the floor.

Bear ran over and hopped onto the quilt, pushing it around with his paws. Root sat back down, adjusting the straps of her sports bra. It was exceptionally hot today, so she'd chosen to bare more skin than usual. The overalls covered her legs at least.

Root opened the map in front of her, reaching into her bag to pull out some rocks she'd brought to weigh the corners down. She leaned back to pull a pencil from her pocket. Shifting to lie on her stomach, she smiled at Bear as he settled next to her.

"Here's what I've got for the trip so far," Root said, twirling her pencil in her fingers. "Aurora, because aliens and it's in our state. Then Roswell, New Mexico. That's gets us onto the Extra-Terrestrial Highway. Hmm…"

She wished Sameen was planning this with her. They hadn't talked to much about the roadtrip since they'd agreed to do it, but Root thought Sameen would still be on board. She sighed. The roadtrip was a year away, at the rate their friendship was currently deteriorating, they might not even be on speaking terms then.

Root folded the map. She'd do this later, after she'd brought it up to Sameen. If Sameen was still down, Root was too. She dropped the map onto the blanket and patted Bear.

"Come on," Root scooted to the edge of the train and hopped down. She turned around and let Bear jump into her arms, groaning. "You're gonna be too big for this soon, bud. I'll see if we can build you some stairs."

Root pulled the leash out of her bike basket and clipped it onto him. She started across the tracks and into the woods. Bear trotted along beside her, looking around with interest.

They wandered through the trees aimlessly for a while, Root thinking about the upcoming school year and Bear thinking about whatever it was puppies think about. When they got to a clearing, she unclipped his leash and let him run around.

She was watching him jump after a butterfly when her phone buzzed. Root reached into her pocket to look at it, hoping it was Claire. It was Mr. Finch responding to her text message. He'd seen a Carolina Wren earlier today. Root wondered if it was the same one or if the male she'd saw had a mate. Wren's mated for life.

Root looked at the sky, surprised to see the sun setting. Orange and pink peeked out from behind the trees. She whistled to Bear, calling him back.

Clipping on his leash, Root sighed. "Alright, let's get back to the train. We shouldn't be out here alone at night."

Root led him back to the railroad car. When they got there, the light was almost gone. Root was surprised to see a lantern in the car and someone inside. Bear started tugging at the leash, barking.

Root watched the person sit up as she crossed the railroad tracks. It was Sameen. Root pushed her hair behind her ears and knelt down to unleash Bear. She stuffed the leash into her pocket and lifted him into the car. He ran into Sameen's lap, trying to get her attention.

"Hey," Root said softly, trying to see Sameen's face in the dark. The lantern was behind her and Root couldn't make out her features in the dying sunlight. "What are you doing here?"

Sameen shrugged, petting Bear's neck. "I came here to be alone."

"Oh," Root awkwardly shoved her hands in her pockets. "I can go. Just, um, give me my bag."

"It's ok," Sameen said, moving backwards. "Come in."

Root nodded and pushed herself up, hooking a knee over the edge and pulling herself inside. She sat on her knees, not sure how close she was allowed to get. She hated how weird this was.

"How was your day?" Root asked, looking at the map Sameen had unfolded.

Sameen didn't answer. She just pushed Bear away and stretched back out on her stomach. She pointed at a circle on the map. "What's in Utah?"

"Um," Root swallowed hard and shifted onto her butt, crossing her legs in front of her, leaning on her elbows, "The Devil's Highway."

Sameen looked skeptical. "Huh."

Root chuckled softly. "It's not as bad as you think. It used to be called Route 666. Now it's US Route 491.”

"What's so special about it?"

"It's said to be haunted," Root answered. "It's also got a bunch of cool Native American stuff, which is neat. We can connect to it from the Extra-Terrestrial Highway."

Sameen twisted to look up at Root. "Is this roadtrip going to be all alien stuff?"

The corner of Root's mouth twitched. "Maybe."

"Can we at least do some camping or something? Hiking?" Sameen rolled onto her back, Bear sneaking closer to lay his head on her stomach.

"We'll camp!" Root assured her. "It'll be half-aliens, half-nature."

Sameen nodded. "Cool."

"So…" Root started, but hesitated. She shook her head. "So, do you want to stay out here tonight?"

Sameen let her head drop to the side and considered Root. She shrugged. "Sure."

Root nodded and looked out of the open train door to the woods.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root woke with a start, her body drenched with sweat. She looked around, pushing her hair out of her face. She was in the train. Sameen was next to her. Bear was still sleeping. They weren't in any danger.

Root swallowed and tried to take a deep breath. She'd had a terrible nightmare. It was already fading, but she remembered the anger on Sameen's face. She remembered her mother's hateful scowl.

She pushed the blanket off herself and crawled to the edge of the train, hopping off. The night air was only slightly cooler than inside the train, but the slight breeze helped her calm down. She hadn't had a nightmare in so long.

She used to have them all the time before she met Hanna and then again when Hanna left. Root unclipped her overalls, letting the straps hang down in front of her. She looked over her shoulder at Sameen. She still had a friend. Why was she having nightmares?

Her chest hurt, like she couldn't take a deep enough breath. She swallowed again and closed her eyes, turning her face up to the stars. Sometimes, it felt like pressure was building behind her eyes, like something was trapped inside her head trying to get out.

If she had a choice, if someone appeared out of the darkness and said 'Let's go away. Right now,' Root might have said yes. She might have said 'Please. I'll go anywhere. Let's go somewhere new. Somewhere high up so we can see all of Texas. All of America.'

Root dug her toes into the ground, the pain of gravel against her skin grounding her. She was getting out of Bishop in a few years, with or without Sameen. She had perfect grades, interesting hobbies, the Science Bowl. She'd get a full ride and move across the country. Go to New York City and bury herself in school work or find some seedy bar to spend all of her time people watching. She wanted to learn and grow, but she couldn't do that here.

Root wanted. God, did she want. She wanted so much and every day she spent in this godawful place that made everyone leave her was torture. Hot, sticky, stifling torture. Sameen had been a breath of cold air, a break in the monotony. Root thought that Sameen would stay with her, keep her company until they both got out, but Sameen was pulling away and Root was still stuck here.

Lonely, Root guessed. She was still lonely. Root took a deep breath, the knot in her chest loosening. She heard rumbling in the distance and a haunting train whistle. She glanced over her shoulder at Sameen, but, even in the lantern's weak light, Root could tell she was passed out. Nothing was going to wake her up.

Bear's ears perked up as the train clattered toward them. He saw Root looking at him and laid back down. If Root wasn't scared, neither was he.

Root turned back to look at the oncoming train. The white smoke billowing from the chimney visible in the moonlight. She had to squint as the train's highbeam swept across her face, but once it was passed, she opened her eyes again. There were only a few feet between her and the train, but she didn't care.

The straps of her overalls blew to the side with the wind from the train. It was so loud, especially after the silence of the night. Root took a deep breath and screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Root :(
> 
> Comments mean the world to me, y'all


	16. Hey There Delilah

“’Real. Not a game. Ender’s mind was too tired to cope with it all. They weren’t just points of light in the air, they were real ships that he had fought with and real ships he had destroyed. And a real world that he had blasted into oblivion. He walked through the crowd, dodging their congratulations, ignoring their hands, their words, their rejoicing. When he got to his own room he stripped off his clothes, climbed into bed, and slept.’”

Root closed the book. Ender’s Game was the last book on their summer reading list and they were almost done. School started again in a couple weeks and this was the last of their summer homework.

Root squinted in the bright light. They were hanging out on the front lawn; Sameen laying on her back, arms crossed under her head, and Root sitting cross-legged, grass tickling her skin. Bear ran around them, chasing dragonflies and eat dirt.

“What would you do?” Root asked Sameen, tossing the book onto the ground next to her.

“What?” Sameen grunted.

“If you found out you’d just killed a lot of people?”

Sameen shrugged, eyes closed. “I don’t know. They were enemies, right? If it was a fair fight, I guess it’s fine.”

“I mean, they had been enemies years ago, but they weren’t actively attacking anymore,” Root said, stretching her legs out. “I don’t know if that’s fair.”

Sameen didn’t say anything, just kept her eyes closed, hair splayed out around her.

Root sighed and leaned forward, touching her toes with her fingers. It was the mid-July and nearly 100 degrees outside. Maybe they could go swimming later to cool off.

Sameen’s phone buzzed and she reached out blindly. She read the message and typed out a quick reply. Root watched her throw her phone back down and close her eyes again.

“I don’t think I could kill anyone,” Root said, running her hand over the grass. “I don’t like people, but I don’t know that I hate them that much.”

“Would you kill your dad?”

Root frowned. “Not anymore. If I was going to kill him, I think I would have already done it.”

Sameen snorted. “Fair. You just prank him with pizza.”

Root raised her eyebrows, sniffing delicately. “There is more than one way to exact revenge. I could do much worse.”

Sameen smiled softly. “Do you always get revenge?”

“Usually,” Root answered. “Why? Need some help?”

Sameen finally opened her eyes. She turned her head to look at Root. “Would you ever take revenge on me?”

Root considered her carefully. She couldn’t tell if Sameen was giving her an opening to ask about all the time she’d been spending with someone else. Root had gone to bed alone most nights for the past couple of weeks. Sameen was always there when she woke up, but she never told Root where she’d been.

“Depends on what you did.”

Sameen looked away, frowning. She stared up at the trees as the wind blew, rustling leaves and blowing through her hair. She didn’t say anything else and Root sighed, looking away.

She’d never had a problem finding something to talk about, with anyone really, but especially with Sameen. Now, she didn’t know what to say. Every topic she could think of circled back to ‘why are you lying to me?’

Sameen’s phone buzzed again and she picked it up, frowning at the message. She dropped the phone onto her stomach, not answering.

“The perfect date,” Sameen mused, nose scrunching.

“What?” Root asked her, surprised by the change of topic.

Sameen looked at her. “The perfect date. What is it?”

Root shrugged and pulled her legs up, wrapping her arms around her knees. “I think it’s different for everyone.”

“Mine,” Sameen started, glaring at the sky, “would probably be seeing a sports game, or hiking, and then a steak dinner. Maybe something fun at the end, like swimming or star-gazing.”

Root bit her tongue to keep from mentioning they’d done all of those things but the steak dinner. She wanted to joke and flirt like she used to, but she couldn’t. She watched Bear try to chase a squirrel up a tree.

Sameen looked at her. “What’s yours?”

Root thought for a moment, tapping on her chin. “Hmm, I think there are so many ways to have a good date. I’ll say…Working on a computer project, or going to a Science Museum with a Planetarium, and then…dinner in the park and ending with a movie at home.”

Sameen scoffed. “That sounds boring.”

Root leaned away from her. “Hey. Don’t be mean.”

“I’m just saying, you describe the perfect date like a normal weekend. You should pick something new.”

Root crossed her arms, turning to face Sameen. “You picked stuff we do all the time. Maybe you should re-evaluate your date, too.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “One, I don’t mean school sports. I mean an actual soccer game, or football or basketball. Second, we have never had a steak dinner. Third, swimming and star-gazing are different if you do it with someone you like. Not that you’d know that.”

Root sucked in a breath and turned away, trying to keep herself from screaming. Root had never dated anyone, but she knew what it was like to do something with the person you liked. Sameen knew that. She was just rubbing it in Root’s face.

Root grabbed her phone and shoved it into her pocket. “I’m going inside.” She picked up the book and started to stand, but Sameen’s hand stopped her.

“I’m sorry. Root, sit back down,” Sameen said, apologetically. “Please.”

Root huffed, but let Sameen pull her back down. She threw the book onto the ground next to Sameen.

“You don’t have to be such a bitch,” Root mumbled, trying to calm down.

Sameen stared at her. “I know. I’m just…not feeling well right now.”

Root rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”

They sat next to each other in silence. Sameen lay back down, staring at the sky again. Root didn’t know what to say to make this less weird. She’d spent almost the entire summer so far unsure of where she and Sameen stood and it was wearing her out. She was exhausted and she just wanted her friend back.

Root’s phone rang, startling them both. She pulled it out of her pocket.

“A Corpus Christi area code?” she said, confused. She answered the call. “Hello?”

‘Is this Root?’ a girl asked on the other end of the line.

“Yes,” Root asked hesitantly, exchanging a glance with Sameen. “Who is this?”

‘It’s Claire! From the radio!’

Root grinned, excited. “Claire! Hello!” She saw Sameen sit up out of the corner of her eye, frowning. “I’m so glad you called. I was beginning to think you weren’t going to.”

‘Sorry,’ Claire apologized. ‘I started a new project and got distracted.’

Root laughed. “I know the feeling. What’s up?”

‘You built your HAM Radio, right? By yourself?’

“Yeah,” Root answered. “Why? Are you starting a new project?”

‘I have a Nomad-7 and – Wait, do you know what that is?’

Root rolled her eyes, smiling. “Of course, I do. Portable solar battery.”

‘Great! I need to make some upgrades to mine and I could use some help.’

“I’d love to help! When do you want to do it?”

‘Are you free tonight?’ Claire asked, sounding hopeful.

Root looked at Sameen, who was frowning at her. She smiled. “Yeah, I’m free tonight.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and looked away. They had had plans to go to the hill, but Root didn’t care. Sameen wasn’t the only one who could cancel plans.

‘Yes!’ Claire cheered. ‘I live in Corpus Christi. We could hang out at my place?’

“Sure,” Root said, climbing to her feet. “It’ll take me a while to get there by bus, though.”

‘I can pick you up! I’m heading south now. I assume you live by my stand?’

“Yeah, I’m in Bishop. I can text you the address?” Root asked, picking up Ender’s game and starting towards the house, Sameen and Bear following her.

‘Definitely. See you soon!’

“Bye!” Root hung up the phone and opened the front door.

She started up the stars as Sameen closed the door. She could hear Sameen stomping up the stairs behind her and rolled her eyes as she texted Claire Sameen’s address. Root was going to have fun tonight with someone new and Sameen couldn’t stand it.

“Who was that?” Sameen asked, reaching passed Root to open the bedroom door for her.

“Claire,” Root answered, tossing the book and her phone onto the bed.

Sameen raised her eyebrows. “And who is Claire?”

Root unbuttoned her shorts and slid them down her legs. She pulled her shirt over her head. “Claire Mahoney. She’s that intern we always listen to.”

Sameen crossed her arms, still standing by the door, scowling. “How did you meet her?”

“We met by our clubhouse. She’s the one who sold me that wolf carving,” Root explained, moving to the closet.

She looked through her clothes, trying to pick a dress. Since she’d started working at Greer’s Ice Cream Store, she’d had some disposable income. She’d bought herself some new clothing. Pants that came all the way to her feet. Shirts with no holes in the armpits. Shoes that fit.

Root ran her hands across the dresses hanging in the closet. She looked great in all of these. For tonight, she wanted something that was casual enough to hang out in, but nice enough to impress Claire. She didn’t even know if Claire was gay or if this was a date, but neither did Sameen.

“So, you’re going out with a girl you met on the side of the road?” Sameen scoffed. “Sounds safe.”

Root shrugged and pulled down a dark blue wrap dress. “I can text you her address in case I disappear into the void.”

“Just don’t go,” Sameen ordered.

Root raised her eyebrows and turned around, looking Sameen in the eyes. She put her hands on her hips. “Tell me who you’ve been hanging out with and I’ll stay here.”

Sameen stared into her eyes for a moment before looking away.

“Yeah,” Root said, pushing her arms through the sleeves of her dress, “that’s what I thought.”

She quickly tied her dress shut and pulled her nice sneakers out of the closet. Sitting on the bed, she glanced at Sameen while she slipped on her shoes.

Sameen had turned her back to Root and was leaning against the desk. Root felt bad just leaving like this, but Sameen had been doing it for weeks. She had to teach Sameen a lesson and show her that Root wasn’t just going to sit around while Sameen did whatever she wanted. Either they were friends and honest with each other, or they weren’t friends.

Root really hoped Sameen chose to stay friends.

Root’s phone buzzed and she snatched it off the bed. Claire was outside. Root stood, smoothing the front of her dress down.

“I’m going,” she told Sameen.

She waited a minute, but Sameen didn’t look up. Root rolled her eyes and stormed out of the room, hurried down the stairs and out the front door.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen looked out the window of John’s car at the stars. They were headed to Corpus Christi to go to Dairy Queen. The one in Bishop closed at ten o’clock and they hadn’t come up with the idea until eleven. John and Lionel were talking, but she tuned them out.

Sameen couldn’t believe that Root had just left to hang out with someone else. She didn’t even know that Root had other friends. Sameen crossed her arms. She probably shouldn’t be as upset as she was. She’d been hanging out with Tomas all summer.

It was different, she told herself, when Root did it. Sameen was hanging out with Tomas to stop thinking about Root. Root was hanging out with this Claire person for no reason.

Things had been so weird since they’d kissed in the treehouse. Even Sameen could tell that Root was trying to go back to how things were, but Sameen couldn’t. She couldn’t pretend that she was just friends with Root, but she couldn’t date Root either.

She had thought that dating Tomas and being friends with Root would be the answer, but every time she tried to tell Root that she and Tomas were together, she couldn’t. She didn’t want to hurt Root or make her think that she was pushing her aside. Of course, lying to Root would probably make it seem worse than it was.

Sameen had to admit that she wasn’t completely using Tomas. He was nice to look at and his leather jacket always smelled clean. She thought about the leather jacket she’d bought Root for Christmas. Root said it was too hot to wear right now, but Tomas wore his every day. Did he dry clean it every weekend?

Sameen rolled her eyes. She looked at the stars again, wishing Root was there to tell her what constellations were visible right now. She pulled her phone out, thinking about texting her. When she saw the message with Claire’s home address, she put her phone away.

“Shaw?” Lionel asked from the passenger seat. “You good?”

She nodded. “How close are we? I could murder a cheeseburger.”

“About five minutes,” John answered, changing lanes.

She took a deep breath and watched the buildings appear around them. Luckily, the DQ was on the edge of town, so they didn’t have to drive through too much of the city.

Sameen thought about visiting Root at work tomorrow. Maybe she could get free ice cream and find out how Root’s date with Claire went. She frowned. Was it a date? Root hadn’t said. Sameen told herself that she didn’t care if Root had a date. It was better if she was dating someone, too.

John pulled into the DQ parking lot and Sameen blinked rapidly, trying to hold back whatever it was she was feeling. She unbuckled herself as the car slowed and opened her door as soon as John had stopped. She took a deep breath of warm summer air.

A familiar laugh floated into her ears and Sameen looked around. She spotted two girls walking out of the Seven Eleven across the street. She could recognize Root from here, her laugh reaching Sameen again.

“You coming?” John asked her.

She licked her lips and turned to smile at them. “In a second. I need some air.”

John and Lionel shrugged and headed inside. Sameen waited until the door closed behind them before walking across the parking lot. She didn’t want to give herself away, so she stayed on her side of the street.

Root walked under a streetlight and Sameen could see she was carrying two Slushees, one blue and one red. Sameen crossed her arms, frowning. Claire was holding Root’s HAM Radio, like she didn’t want to put it down. They stopped behind Claire’s car and pulled down the back of the pick-up. Sameen watched Root put the drinks down and hop up, her legs swinging off the edge.

Sameen wasn’t jealous that Claire and Root were hanging out, or that Root was buying her the same kind of Slushees that she bought Sameen. She was just worried that Root was getting too close to this girl too fast and she could end up hurt.

Sameen cleared her throat and looked both ways before crossing the street and heading towards Claire and Root. She tried to keep her face blank, but she knew she probably looked angry.

“Root!” Sameen called as she got close, ignoring the way her stomach clenched when Root’s smile fell. “What a coincidence.”

Root glanced at Claire. “Um, this is my friend, Sameen. Sameen, this is Claire.”

“Best friend,” Sameen clarified, reaching out to shake Claire’s hand. “Nice to meet you.”

Claire shrugged. “You too, I guess.”

“What are you doing here, Sameen?” Root asked, nervously fiddling with the straw of her Slushee.

“The boys and I came out for some cheeseburgers,” Sameen said, looking Claire over. She wasn’t impressed. “You?”

“We’re taking a break,” Claire answered, seemingly unaware of the tension. “Root’s a genius. I can’t imagine how much stuff you build.”

“Oh,” Root laughed, “Sameen isn’t that into engineering. She works as a car mechanic, but that’s about it. She got her HAM Radio from her dad.”

Sameen frowned, offended. She could build things. It was true that Root worked on her projects while Sameen played video games, but it wasn’t as if Sameen didn’t know her way around a solder.

“I can do that stuff,” Sameen said defensively.

“Well, you don’t,” Root countered, annoyed. “You should go back to John and Lionel.”

Sameen scowled and turned on her heel, stomping back across the street. Root could have fun on her date.

She sighed as she walked into the Dairy Queen. It was probably for the best that Root was dating someone else. Maybe now she could tell her about Tomas and it wouldn’t be as weird. They’d both be dating someone else. Maybe it would take some of the weirdness out of their relationship.

Sameen could hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go


	17. Jumper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for boy/girl kiss descriptions and, also, sadness.

Root stared up at the movie screen, smiling as the wind blew through her hair. She and Sameen were in Corpus Christi for the big event and it was going well so far. Root had surprised her with a movie in the park.

Every August 1st, the Corpus Christi Cultural Committee put together a big evening in the park that culminated in a movie screening. Root had done some…tinkering to the online voting and the Committee had announced that this year’s movie was Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Root looked at Sameen, chuckling when she found her staring intensely at the screen. Root leaned towards her.

“What do you think so far?” Root whispered.

Sameen turned her head slightly, keeping her eyes on the movie. “So, the aliens made them obsessed with the mountain? Where’s the mountain? Why are they crying over mashed potatoes?”

“No spoilers,” Root laughed.

She felt lighter than she had in weeks. Sameen had been different since Root’s date with Claire. More focused on spending time together and doing things they both liked. They’d gone to the hill almost every night. Root felt good. She was glad her message got through.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight,” Root murmured. “It means a lot.”

This time, Sameen did look at Root. She blinked slowly, the corners of her mouth turned down. “You’ve been planning this for a while. Wouldn’t want you to miss it.”

“Are you ok?” Root asked, reaching out to lay a hand on her arm. “You seem upset.”

“That’s impossible,” Sameen tried to joke. “I don’t get upset.”

Root rolled her eyes. Sameen could be so dense. “Sure, your emotions are…muted, but I know you feel things?”

“How do you know that?” Sameen scoffed.

“Because…” Root started, trailing off. She knew that Sameen was attracted to her, that she had like-liked her a little bit. She knew Sameen had fun when they were together. She knew that Sameen was upset. “Because you always get so angry when Lambert hurts me during PE.”

Sameen laughed, surprised. She leaned her arms down on her crossed legs. “You got me. I feel anger. Maybe other things. I don’t feel them like you do, though.”

Root shrugged, stretching her legs out in front of her, rubbing her bare knees. “You don’t have to like things like I do. I like you the way you are and I feel enough for the both of us.”

Sameen took a deep breath and focused on the movie screen. “Thanks.”

“You’re clenching your jaw,” Root said, reaching over to poke Sameen’s face. “Something’s bothering you. Wanna talk about it?”

“I want you…” Sameen said, letting out a sharp breath, “…to bring me popcorn.”

Root chuckled and stood up. “Coming right up.”

She weaved her way through the crowd of people, heading for the popcorn stand. It was a nice night, warm, but breezy. Root was having a good time with Sameen, some of the tension between them had dissipated, even if Sameen was upset about something.

Root smiled at someone as she stepped over their feet and stuffed her hands into her pockets. They were on a good track, she thought. Maybe when school started, and Root was back home, Sameen would calm down. She knew that Sameen needed time alone.

Root frowned as she neared the stand. Sameen had been spending a lot of time with someone else, so maybe it wasn’t alone time she needed. She might just need time away from Root.

Root shook her head. No, Sameen was warming up to her again. They were fine.

She stopped in front of the popcorn stand and pulled out her wallet.

“Large Popcorn, please,” she said, pulling out the money.

Her mother was coming back in two days and Root didn’t know how to feel about it. She hadn’t spoken to her all summer, hadn’t seen her since the championship game in April. Theoretically, her mother was going to be sober, ready to be a parent. Root didn’t know what that meant; she couldn’t remember her mother before she’d been an alcoholic.

Root paid for the popcorn and took the large, paper bucket. She turned and headed back to Sameen.

Her mother might be a great person when she was sober. Maybe she was responsible. She’d need a new job, Root realized. Her mother couldn’t work in the bar now. It was a good thing Root had been working all summer and saving up. She could give some of her road trip money to her mother until she had a job again.

Root realized she’d gotten a little off course and looked around for Sameen. She spotted her up ahead to her left and frowned.

Tomas was squatting down next to Sameen, his hand on her arm. Root rolled her eyes as she started towards them. It was 85 degrees and Tomas was wearing his bulky leather jacket. It was a nice aesthetic, but he had to be sweating bullets.

Tomas saw her coming and kissed Sameen on the cheek, quickly standing up and walking away. Root stopped walking, squinting at him as he walked away. He was always too familiar.

She shook her head and walked back towards Sameen. She dropped onto her knees and grabbed a handful of popcorn.

“Why is Tomas here? That guy is so sleazy,” Root scoffed, shoving popcorn in her mouth.

Sameen glanced at her from the corner of her eye. “I told him we’d be here.”

“What?” Root asked, eyebrows dropping. “Why? When did you two become friends?”

“We aren’t friends,” Sameen said, swallowing. “We’re dating.”

Root’s blood ran cold. Sameen and Tomas were dating. That’s where she’d been all summer, with him. Root felt like she was spinning, her stomach churning.

An image came into her head, unbidden, of Tomas and Sameen. His course, ugly hands on her soft, beautiful skin. Sameen pushed the jacket off his shoulders, running her hands down his sweaty arms. Tomas’ fingers wrapped in Sameen’s hair. Her breath on his lips.

Root threw the popcorn onto the ground and jumped up, grabbing her bag off the ground and marching through the crowd towards the bus stop.

How could she have been so blind? How could she ever have thought that Sameen would love her? Root swallowed, the ache in her stomach spreading to her head. She was nothing, worth nothing, and Sameen knew it. Root was unlovable. Her own mother didn’t love her.

Root ground her teeth together, trying to hold back her tears and failing. The loneliness she’d been feeling all summer returned, this time carving a hole in her heart. She had to get away from here. Maybe she could take a bus to Dallas or all the way to New York. There was nothing for her here.

“Root!” Sameen called from behind her.

Root kept walking, passing the last row of movie-goers and crossing the open field as fast as she could.

“Root,” Sameen said, grabbing her arm and spinning her around. “Talk to me.”

“Talk to you?” Root ask, tasting her tears as they rolled down her face and hating how shaking her voice was. “You want to talk now?”

“I’m sorry,” Sameen said, only looking slightly upset, her forehead slightly scrunched. “I should have told you I was dating someone.”

“Yeah,” Root spat out. “You should have fucking told me.”

“But you’re dating Claire now,” Sameen offered, shoving her hands in her pockets. “We’re both dating other people.”

Root couldn’t believe it. “Claire? We hung out once!”

Sameen’s tentative smile faltered. “Well, you’re going to go out again, right? You’re together?”

“No, Sameen,” Root said, turning her face up to the sky, “We’re not together. I hung out with her one time to see if you would even notice.”

“Oh,” Sameen’s shoulders dropped. “I did.”

“Great,” Root threw her arms up, letting out a wet laugh. “Your answer was to date Tomas. He’s a fucking asshole, Sameen.”

“He’s not that bad when you get to know him.”

“Tomas and I have known each other our entire lives,” Root said, angry. “There are 300 kids in our high school and we’ve lived in the same 3000 person town our entire lives. You know what he did last week?”

Sameen swallowed hard. “What?”

“He came to my work, to buy two pints of ice cream…” Root closed her eyes, shaking her head. “One for him and one for you, I guess. He came in, picked up his ice cream, walked straight to the counter…and called me Amanda.”

Root laughed, running a shaking hand through her hair. “Who the fuck is Amanda? He doesn’t know my fucking name, Sameen!” Root stared at her with wide eyes.

“Ok, calm down,” Sameen said, laying a hand on Root’s arm. “We can talk about this.”

“You know,” Root scoffed, “It’s not that you’re dating someone else. I…I would have gotten over that eventually. It’s that you lied to me for months, Sameen. You lied to me all summer long and you picked Tomas! He’s a loser who skips class to smoke pot behind the Dairy Queen and he can’t be bothered to learn anyone’s fucking name! That’s who you’re choosing over me?”

Sameen dropped her arm, staring at her helplessly. Root waited for her to say something, to tell her she’d break up with him, that she values their friendship over some asshole boyfriend. Sameen didn’t say anything, just stared at her with empty eyes.

“Ok,” Root nodded, “Here’s what we’re going to do. My mother gets home on Saturday and school starts on Monday. I’m going to spend tonight at your house and you’re going to find somewhere else to sleep, the treehouse or Zoe’s. I don’t care. Then, tomorrow, I’m going to move all my stuff back to my place and get it ready. You are going to find somewhere else to be.”

Sameen nodded, her face blank. Root sighed, her head pounding. She knew Sameen wasn’t emotional and she knew that she could shut down, but just this once, just right now, she wanted her to say something nice. Root wanted her to take some action and make it right.

Root sniffed loudly, not caring that she was wet and gross. “Ok, I’m taking the bus and going home.” She turned away and started for the bus stop again.

“Do you want me to ride with you?”

Root jerked around, teeth bared. “Get a ride with your fucking boyfriend!”

She watched Sameen turn around and walk away. A sob ripped out of her and she closed her eyes, standing there until she heard a bus approach. Root hurried to catch it.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root sobbed into her pillow. Was this what heartbreak felt like? It was awful. She wanted to sink into the bed and never leave it.

She heard a knock on the door a second before it opened. She rolled over, turning her back to it.

“Go away,” she said, pulling the pillow tighter against her chest. “Leave me alone.”

“Root?” Mrs. Reese said gently. “What’s wrong?”

Root shook her head, eyes squeezed closed so tightly she could see spots. She didn’t want to talk about this. She wanted to die.

The bed dipped next to her and she heard Mrs. Reese sigh. A hand slowly rubbed her back.

“John told me you and Sameen had a fight?”

“It wasn’t a fight,” Root mumbled, voice thick with tears. “We’re not friends anymore.”

Mrs. Reese hummed. The sheets rustled and Root looked over her shoulder to see Mrs. Reese sitting against the headboard and crossing her legs. She smiled down at Root.

“You two broke up?” Mrs. Reese asked her.

Root laughed humorlessly. “No. You have to be dating to break up.”

“You aren’t together? I thought you were.” Root’s eyes widened and Mrs. Reese chuckled. “I’m not as blind as you might think. I see the way you two look at each other.”

Root’s face crumbled and she started crying again. Mrs. Reese reached out and pulled Root into her lap, running a gentle hand over her hair.

“She doesn’t like me,” Root cried.

“Well, a friendship break up hurts as much as a romantic one. Tell me, what did Sameen do?”

Root wrapped her arms around Mrs. Reese’s waist. “She’s dating Tomas and she lied to me and I hate her.”

“Ah, I see. Are you going to try and win her back?”

“I can’t win her back if she wasn’t mine to start with,” Root said, wiping her face with the back of her hand. “I’m going to run away.”

“Of course,” Mrs. Reese said, nodding seriously. “That’s the logical answer.”

Root sat up a little, glaring at her. “Are you making fun of me?”

Mrs. Reese smiled. “A little.”

Root pulled away and started to push the sheets off. Mrs. Reese grasped her arms, pulling her back.

“I’m sorry. Don’t be upset. I shouldn’t tease you when you’re this sad.”

Root nodded, wiping her nose. “I’m serious. I can’t go back to school now.”

“Why not?”

“Because everyone will know that Sameen doesn’t like me. That no one likes me.”

Mrs. Reese pushed Root’s hair from her face. “I like you.”

“Not like that,” Root rolled her eyes. “I mean like dating.”

“Root,” Mrs. Reese said, cupping Root’s face with both of her hands, “You will find love. You’re fifteen, for Pete’s sake. At least wait until you can legally drive before running away.”

Root laughed despite herself. “What should I do then?”

Mrs. Reese sighed and wiped Root’s tears away with her thumbs. “I think that you should go to school on Monday, head held high, and don’t let Sameen know that you’re upset.”

“What good would that do?” Root sniffled. “I want her to feel bad.”

“But she isn’t going to feel bad,” Mrs. Reese countered. “Not like you want her to. She’s a good girl and her heart is in the right place, but she runs away from the things she should run toward.”

“Maybe I could do something to make myself feel better.”

“Like egg Tomas’ house?”

“What?” Root asked, surprised. “Egg his house?”

“That’s what I did to my first boyfriend,” Mrs. Reese laughed. “I egged his house until his father came out running and screaming at me. It didn’t do any real damage, but it made me feel better.”

Root chuckled. “Maybe I can do my own version of egging.”

Mrs. Reese raised an eyebrow. “Just don’t go getting into any real trouble. You don’t want your mother to come home and have to bail you out of jail right away.”

Root nodded, suddenly feeling exhausted. Her anger had dissipated and now she just felt tired and heavy. She should worry about all of this later, after her mother had settled in. She could start the school year and then figure out her plan for revenge.

“Thanks, Mrs. Reese,” Root said, smiling at her.

Mrs. Reese pulled her in for a hug. “Anytime, Honey.” She slipped out of the bed and headed for the door. She stopped with her hand on the light switch. “Remember what I said. No jail time. Anything else is free game.”

Root smiled at her as she turned the lights off and then settled into bed. She was still upset, but talking to Mrs. Reese helped. She needed to come up with a plan for revenge, something to take her mind off things. She’d leave Sameen out of it for now; Root knew she was going through some stuff, but Tomas…Tomas was just an asshole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter has some inappropriate subject matter and some more sadness


	18. I Can't Get Next To You

Root shut the door to her house behind her and dropped her backpack onto the floor.

“I’m home!” she called as she walked down the hall. “Where are you?”

Root’s mom had gotten back from rehab a week ago and, so far, things had been nice. She didn’t have a job, so she was home almost all day. Root had set up cameras around the house so she could check in during school.

“I’m in the kitchen,” her mom answered. “Dinner’s ready!”

Root smiled and headed into the kitchen. It was almost 7 o’clock, but Root had to stay at school for the first Science Bowl meeting. She still wasn’t on the team, but Nathan had invited her to sit in on meetings again this year. Root hoped all of her time meant that she’d be on the team next year for sure.

Between her fight with Sameen and her mother being back, it had been a weird first week at school. Her mother kept asking questions and trying to be nice to make up for her how she’d been, but Root had a hard time letting go.

She barely remembered her mother before she started drinking and a week of good behavior wasn’t enough to make her forget everything. Root still had a scar on her back from when her mother had thrown a chair at her in 5th grade. She was trying her best, though, to give her mom another chance.

“It smells good,” Root said, sitting at the dinner table. “What is it?”

Her mom put a plate in front of her. “Nothing special. Just something I learned over the summer. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”

She sat down across from Root with her own plate. Root took a bite of meatloaf and smiled. It was actually really good.

“I like it,” she said, smiling at her mom. “It’s good.”

“Thanks,” her mom breathed, sounding relieved. “I’m thinking about getting a cookbook and trying to actually learn. Cooking always calmed me down.”

“That’s a good idea,” Root agreed. “If you let me know what kind of recipes you want, I can get you some.”

Her mother’s smile faltered and Root sighed. She knew her mom was having a hard time relying on Root. It was ironic. Root had spent years taking care of her mother and paying their bills, but now that her mother knew about it, was thinking about it, it was weird.

“So,” her mother said, trying to sound cheerful, “How has your first week of school been? Freshman year, huh?”

Root swallowed her mouthful. “Sophomore year.”

“Oh,” her mother sighed, closing her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Root shrugged. She didn’t want her mother beating herself up. “Sophomore year is the boring year anyway.”

Her mother opened her eyes, smiling sadly. “I’m sorry I missed so much time.”

Root met her eyes. She wanted to believe that her mother was better, that it was never going back to the way that it was, but she couldn’t. It was so hard to forgive.

“The first week has gone well,” Root said, looking down at her plate. “My hardest class is going to be European History and even that’s just a lot of note-taking.”

“That’s good. How’s your friend doing? Sameen?”

Root swallowed. “She’s fine.”

Her mother pushed food around on the plate. “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Root put her fork down. It had been too much to hope that her mother’s homophobia was because of the alcohol. Her mother knew she liked girls. It was one thing for her mother to assume Sameen was just a friend and another thing for her to pretend Root was straight.

“I’m done,” Root said, pushing away from the table. “I’m going to my room.”

“Sam-“

“Don’t,” Root rolled her eyes and walked away. “I have homework.”

She walked out of the kitchen, grabbed her bag, and headed upstairs to her room. When she shut the door, she reached out to slide the chain, but hesitated. She probably didn’t need to do this anymore; her mother wasn’t going to have sex with random men anymore. Root sighed and slide the chain into place.

She tossed her bag onto her desk and sat on her bed. She hadn’t lied to her mother, Sameen was doing fine, but she hadn’t told her the whole truth. Root and Sameen hadn’t really talked in the last week. They had five out of six classes together, but they most they’d interacted was passing around paperwork.

Root sighed and laid back on her bed, running her arm over her purple, galaxy sheets. She’d been shutting Sameen out and maybe that wasn’t fair. Sure, she’d lied, but they were friends and friends forgave each other. Root was never going to hang out with Tomas, but maybe she could try hanging out with Sameen.

She’d done her best to seem normal at school and she hadn’t cried at all since the night she’d found out. Root sighed and sat up again. She decided to head to Sameen’s and see if she wanted to have a sleepover this weekend.

Root pulled her bag on and headed to her window, sliding it open and climbing out. She almost felt bad for leaving without telling her mother, but she was used to her independence and her mother being sober wasn’t going to change that.

She swung herself off the roof onto the porch and headed for her bike. She walked it to the street and threw her leg over, starting towards Sameen’s.

Root hadn’t biked this way in a long time and the ride seemed to take forever. She breathed in the warm, August air, her hair blowing in the wind behind her. The Cicadas were out in full force this year, their chirps making the night feel alive. Root shifted her weight, turning right at a stop sign.

She was so conflicted about what to do with Sameen. She wanted to be friends, wanted her in her life, but it hurt a lot to think about Sameen never loving her back. Her choosing Tomas was proof that she was straight and Root had to accept that.

Root pulled up to Sameen’s house, putting her foot on the ground and brushing her hair out of her face. She climbed off the bike and walked up to the house. Sameen’s bike was leaning against the porch next to the boys’.

Root put her bike down and hopped up the front steps. She pulled out her key and let herself into the house.

“Hello?” she called as she locked the door behind her. “Anyone home?”

“Living room!” Lionel’s voice answered.

She pulled her bag off and dropped it in the entranceway, moving towards the living room. Root poked her head in, smiling as she saw the boys watching Ghost Adventures.

“I was wondering where those DVDs went,” she chuckled, dropping onto the couch next to John.

“You weren’t watching them,” John shrugged. “It’s a good show.”

Lionel leaned forward to talk to Root across John. “We should go ghost hunting again. For real this time.”

Root shrugged. “I’d be down.”

“Sweet!” Lionel pumped his fist.

John looked at her, skeptical, a smile tugging at his lips. “Really? I thought you didn’t believe in all of that.”

“It’s a good time,” Root said, picking at her nails. “Even if it’s all bogus.”

John laughed. “I guess. Just make sure to bring milkshakes again.”

“I will,” Root chuckled. “Is Sameen here?”

John’s smiled dropped. “No.”

“Oh,” Root said. “Where is she?”

“She’s…um,” John hesitated.

Root realized Sameen must be out with Tomas. Of course, Root thought. It was Friday night. People who had boyfriends went on dates on Friday nights. She looked at John and wondered where Zoe and Joss were.

Root swallowed and stood up. “I’m going to hang out in the treehouse.”

“Ok,” John looked up at her. “Want me to tell her you’re there when she gets home?”

Root nodded and left the room. She headed for the back yard, running her hand along the wall as she walked down the hallway. It felt weird to be in this house without Sameen. She’d lived here for almost four months, but it wasn’t the same when she was alone.

Root opened the door to the pool area, her eyes running over the still water as she walked passed. She remembered their almost kiss on Valentine’s Day. Root had finally worked up the courage, or was drunk enough to pretend she had, and tried to kiss Sameen. She was almost glad now that she didn’t.

She pushed open the screen door and stepped onto the grass, walking around the screened in area to the treehouse. If she had kissed Sameen that night, she would have lost the next three months. The kiss in June had finally told her that Sameen didn’t like her back and maybe the months between Valentine’s Day and then had been full of false hope, but at least they’d been full of Sameen.

Root put a hand on the rope ladder and sighed. She pulled herself up quickly and entered the treehouse. It looked just like it had when she’d last seen it a few weeks ago. Crossing the floor, she stepped around the piled blankets and scattered books to jump up the steps to the second level.

Sameen’s weights were thrown around the room haphazardly. Root frowned. Normally, Sameen was tidier than this; she got stressed by disorganization.

Root moved around the room, picking up the weights and putting them back on the rack, the metal handles cool to the touch. When she got to the heaviest weights, she had to strain to put them away. Sameen was so small that Root always forgot she was rock solid muscle.

Root put the last weight down and wiped her forehead. She put her hands on her hips and sighed, looking around the clean room. She had no idea when Sameen was going to be back. It was almost nine and Root was tired from her long day.

She went back to the first level and dropped onto a pile of blankets. Reaching for a book, she settled in, resting her feet on a beanbag chair and covering herself with a sheet. She would just wait for Sameen to get back and then try and talk to her.

Root opened the book and started reading.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen hurried to the front door, Tomas trailing behind her. They’d just come back from the movies where Sameen had been mildly successful at fending off Tomas’ wandering hands. She had fun with the guy, but he was so touchy.

She pulled out her keys. Tomas stopped next to her, reaching out an arm and pulling her close. Sameen kept herself from rolling her eyes.

“Goodnight, Tomas,” she said, patting his arm. “See you later.”

Tomas stepped forward, looping his other arm around her waist. He smiled down at her.

“Want to hang out tomorrow? Some boys and I are going hunting.”

Sameen remembered the last time she’d shot a gun, her thoughts leading her to Root, and she frowned. “I’m not really the gun type. Have fun, though.”

“What about tomorrow night then?” Tomas said, dipping his face down to hers. “We could go to the drive-in. Make out during the movie.”

“As fun as that sounds,” Sameen said, smiling, “I have a lot of homework to do.”

Tomas shrugged and pressed his lips to hers. She pulled her arms up, resting her hands on his chest. Sameen enjoyed kissing Tomas, but it didn’t make her heart race. She pushed him away.

“Goodnight,” she repeated, sliding her key into the front door and turning it.

She pushed the door open, listening to Tomas’s footsteps clatter down the porch steps. Closing the door behind her, she hung her keys on her hook and started down the hall. The sound of the television led her into the living room, where John and Lionel were playing Grand Theft Auto.

“You know,” Sameen said, leaning against the doorway and crossing her arms, “violent video games cause kids to commit crimes.”

John glanced over his shoulder. “How was your date?”

“Boring,” Sameen sighed, pushing herself off the doorframe and walking into the room. She sat on the couch next to John. “He’s fun to look at, but there’s not a lot else going on.”

Lionel chuckled. “Is that your type, Shaw? Handsome and dumb?”

“I thought,” John said, giving her a meaningful look, “that your type was pretty and smart.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and kicked her shoes off. “I don’t have a type.”

“Oh, hey,” Lionel spoke up, hitting his controller and killing a tourist on screen, “Can I have that lady wrestler poster you got for Christmas? Since you like boys?”

Sameen frowned. Just because she liked boys didn’t mean she didn’t like girls. “I’m keeping it.”

“Whatever,” Lionel snorted.

John nudged her with his shoulder. “Root came by a few hours ago. She went to the treehouse.”

“Is she still there?’ Sameen asked, surprised.

“I don’t know,” John shrugged. “She hasn’t come back through, though.”

Sameen sighed and stood up. “Thanks.”

She walked out of the living room and headed down the hall, running her hand along the wall. Sameen hadn’t slept well in the last week or so. Sleeping with Root all summer had been suffocating. Every time their skin touched, fire raced through her skin.

She had thought sleeping without Root would be easier. Sameen pushed open the door to the pool area and scoffed. Her bed felt huge now, the queen mattress miles wide.

Sameen looked at the pool, water rippling green from the underwater lights. She wished Root had kissed her on Valentine’s Day. Maybe she wouldn’t have freaked out as much. They’d never know now. She pulled her socks off before walking out onto the damp grass.

Sameen hurried up into the treehouse. She looked around for a moment before spotting Root asleep on the floor. Her mouth was hanging open, her limbs sprawled out in every direction. Sameen smiled to herself.

Of course Root was wrapped in that particular blanket. Sameen thought about the day they’d bought the dark green sheet.

They’d gone to Target to buy bathing suits before the school year ended. Root had forced her to sit outside the dressing room while she tried on way too many bathing suits. Eventually, Sameen had snuck away and wandered into the home goods section.

Root had found her there, squeezing pillows, and pretended to start crying. ‘Already thinking of our starter home,’ Root had said, latching on to Sameen’s arm. ‘We don’t need pillows, Sweetie. We need blankets!’

Sameen chuckled and kneeled down beside Root. She realized her hands were shaking and frowned. She felt weak, like she couldn’t control herself. This was not a good feeling.

Root made her feel dangerous, shaky, out of control. Sameen watched her breathe, softly reaching out to push Root’s hair from her face. Root’s forehead scrunched and Sameen jerked her hand away.

Root could control her, Sameen knew. She would do anything for her. That was unacceptable.

Tomas was the safer bet. He didn’t make Sameen feel anything. When it was time to go to college in a few years, Sameen would have no trouble leaving him behind.

She shook Root roughly, keeping her face blank, willing herself empty. Root blinked sleepily, her hair coming up to push her hair out of her face.

“Sameen?” Root asked, her voice thick with sleep.

“I have plans tomorrow morning,” Sameen said briskly. “You should go.”

Root sat up, her hair sticking out in every direction. “Oh. I was going to ask if you wanted to have a sleepover.”

“I’m busy.” Sameen stood up and headed into the upper level. “Go away.”

She stood in the middle of the floor and listened as Root got up and left. Sameen looked around the room and realized that Root had cleaned up for her.

She moved to the window and saw Root rushing across the backyard. Just before Root opened the door to the house, she turned back to look up at Sameen. Their eyes met and Sameen watched her wipe her eyes. Root turned and walked into the house, pulling out her phone.

Sameen turned around, her fists clenched. She didn’t care that she’d made Root cry again. She couldn’t even be sure Root had cried; they were so far away. Root could have just had an itch.

Sameen stormed across the room to her rack of weights. She reached out and pushed the rack, her muscles straining. Groaning, Sameen managed to knock the whole thing over, the dumbbells scattering across the floor.

She stood, panting, and wiped her forehead. Sameen hated this. She hated the heat, the dry air, the fucking crickets. Sameen kicked the empty rack across the floor and made for the stairs, stomping down to the first level.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she sighed. It was Tomas. Someone had ordered 20 pizzas to be delivered to his house. He didn’t know who had done it, but the delivery guy had given him a message – “My Dearest Tomas, wearing a leather coat in July doesn’t make you cool. It makes you a douchebag.”

Sameen chuckled despite herself.


	19. The Absence of Your Company

Root finished her lunch and pushed the tray across the table. Another week had passed and she was starting to get used to eating lunch alone. She opened her backpack and pulled out a paper bag, tossing it onto her tray.

Her mother had been packing her lunches, but Root didn’t eat tuna fish sandwiches. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything, though. At least her mother was trying.

Root sighed and leaned her arms on the table, looking around the cafeteria. She didn’t see Sameen anywhere. Root had stopped trying to talk to her in their classes. After last weekend, she was getting the message. Sameen had moved on and Root probably should, too.

Root pushed her chair back and stood. She might as well head to class; Mr. Collier was always in the classroom, even during lunch. She was picking up her backpack when she heard heels clicking towards her. Root rolled her eyes. There was only one person who wore heels to school.

“Hello, Root,” Martine greeted, putting her hand down on the table. “How’s it going?”

“Let me guess,” Root scoffed, sliding her bag onto her back, “you’re just checking in again.”

Martine shrugged. “I heard you and Shaw broke up.”

“We weren’t together,” Root corrected her, picking up her lunch tray. “Nothing to break up.”

Martine batted her eyes. “I’m just worried about you.”

Root shifted her weight, tossing her head to throw her hair over her shoulder. “Dare I ask why?”

“All your friends keep leaving you,” Martine pouted.

Root tried not to let Martine’s words hurt her, but they did. She was right; all of Root’s friends ended up leaving her. Root swallowed and tried not to let her feeling show.

“Is that all?”

“Actually,” Martine said, stepping towards her. She reached up to pull her ponytail over her shoulder, her fingers idly twisting the ends. “I was thinking about becoming a brunette. I hear you’ll give it up for any girl with brown hair.”

Root rolled her eyes. “Go suck Lambert’s dick, Martine. If he’ll still let you near it. Even I know you don’t use teeth.”

Martine looked shocked as Root pushed passed her, storming out of the cafeteria. She tossed her tray on top of a trashcan, not even bothering to dump the contents. Root burst through the doors to the hall and stopped, taking a deep breath.

This was awful and it was only the second week of the school year. There weren’t enough kids in school to get away from this. Everyone knew about her mother, her father, her relationships. Bishop had always been stifling, but now she felt trapped with nowhere to go.

Root started walking down the hall towards her 4th period class. She didn’t want to have to sit next to Sameen today, or any day, but she didn’t have a choice. She sucked in air through her nose and tried to hold back her tears.

She didn’t even know if she was sad or just frustrated with her bleak future. Another three years of being an outcast and then she could leave for a college far away. The worst part, she thought to herself, staring at the floor as she turned a corner, was that she’d had a taste of Sameen.

She knew what she wanted now. A real friendship, or relationship, that made her happy. Root had been happy and that was gone now.

She heard a metal clatter and looked up. Tomas had Sameen pressed against the bank of lockers, his arms on either side of her keeping her in place. She didn’t seem upset about it. Root watched him bend to kiss her, watched Sameen duck her head away.

Their eyes met and Root watched Sameen frown. Root kept walking, her throat feeling tight. She was determined not to cry in front of Sameen. As she passed, she saw Tomas reach out and put his grimy hands on Sameen’s face, pulling her attention back to him.

Root looked away and hurried into the closest bathroom. The school bell rang as she entered a stall, dumping her bag and sitting on the toilet.

She couldn’t do this. Root couldn’t do three more years of watching someone else lay hands on Sameen. She didn’t think she’d survive it. The second bell rang and Root dropped her head into her hands, tears streaming down her face.

Root didn’t know how long she sat there crying, thinking about the past year with Sameen. Eventually, someone came into the bathroom. Root wiped her face quickly, sniffling.

“Hello?” a girl’s voice called out, “you ok?”

“I’m fine,” Root replied.

She realized she never shut the stall door when a hand appeared. The door opened and revealed Zoe.

“Hi,” Root sighed.

“Oh, Honey,” Zoe breathed, walking into the stall and squatting down in front of her. “What’s wrong?”

Root smiled down at her through her tears. “Everything.”

Zoe chuckled and laid her hands on Root’s knees. “So, this is about Sameen.”

“How do you do it?” Root asked, feeling helpless. “How can you be ok with Joss dating John, too?”

“Well,” Zoe started, “it’s hard. I love John, a lot, but I also love Joss. She’s…really important to me. I wouldn’t do anything to lose either of them.”

A sob ripped from Root. “Why doesn’t Sameen care about me like that?”

“OK,” Zoe said, standing. She pulled Root up and led her out of the stall. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Root nodded and watched Zoe get a paper towel and wet it. “I just want to be with her, you know? All the time and she’s so…infuriating.”

Zoe stepped towards Root, gentling wiping her face. “Sameen cares about you, Root. You’re her person.”

“Then why did she lie to me? Why is she choosing him?”

Zoe’s hands were gentle under her chin. “I know everything about everything around here and I know that Sameen cares more about you than any stupid boy.”

Root laughed dryly. “Doesn’t seem that way.”

“Sameen…” Zoe sighed, dropping the paper towel onto the sink. “She’s a hard nut to crack. I think she has trouble with her feelings and she feels safer with someone she doesn’t care about.”

“I could be her safe place!” Root said emphatically. “I want to be her safe place.”

“I know, babe,” Zoe reached out, taking Root in her arms. “I know you do. You just have to give her time to sort things out.”

“I don’t want to,” Root pouted into Zoe’s shoulder.

The door to the bathroom opened and someone walked in. Root looked up and saw Sameen standing there, looking surprised. Sameen took in Root’s red face, the tears still streaming down her face, and swallowed.

Zoe pulled away from Root to look over at her shoulder at Sameen. “Hey.”

Sameen’s face closed off and she nodded sharply. She turned on her heel and walked out of the bathroom.

“Great,” Root said, angrily wiping her face, “now she knows I’m upset. I was trying to seem cool.”

“Maybe she needs to see you upset,” Zoe shrugged, picking up her damp towel and wiping Root’s face again. “If she sees it, she can’t lie to herself and say you’re ok.”

Root sighed. “I guess so. How do you do it? How do you get everyone to like you?”

“Well,” Zoe shrugged, “I say the right things to the right people and I am not always myself.”

“You lie?”

“Through my teeth,” Zoe joked. “Not everyone needs to know everything.”

Root sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

“That’s what makes you special, Root. You’re so…you. All the time.”

“Yeah, because that’s worked well for me so far.”

Zoe reached out and laid a hand on Root’s arm. “Give her time, Root. She’ll figure it out.”

“And if she doesn’t?” Root asked, looking at Zoe through watery brown eyes.

Zoe smiled, sadly. “Then you’ll hurt for a while. You’ll be ok, though.”

Root’s phone buzzed in her pocket and she pulled it out. “It’s Claire.”

“Ooh,” Zoe scooted around to stand next to Root and look down at her phone. “That’s your new girl?”

“She’s not my girl,” Root rolled her eyes. “We’re friends.”

Zoe punched Root lightly in the arm. “Good for you making friends! You should hang out with her tonight. Get your mind off all us Bishop losers.”

Root laughed, feeling lighter. She smiled at Zoe. “Thank you. For talking to me.”

“We’re friends, Root,” Zoe grinned. “I got your back.”

She turned and headed out of the bathroom. Root started typing out a reply, but looked up when Zoe came rushing back in.

“I didn’t pee!”

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“Catch me!” Root laughed as she skated towards Claire. “I can’t stop!”

“No! I’m on wheels! Root-“

Root barreled into Claire, knocking them both to the ground. They laughed and untangled themselves. Root pushed herself onto her knees, rubbing her forehead.

“Sorry! I’m used to inline skates,” Root apologized.

Claire sat up, pulling her hair out of its ponytail and tying it up again. “Then why did you get these?”

Root shrugged. “I wanted to try?”

“I need a break,” Claire chuckled, standing. “Let’s go get some food.”

Root took her offered hand and pulled herself up. They carefully skated to the edge of the rink and stepped out, heading towards the food counter.

Root had asked Claire if she wanted to go to the Kingsville arcade and Claire had said yes. They had hung out a couple times since their first time and Root was enjoying herself. It was nice to have a friend who was so focused on technology and science.

She did feel a little guilty for enjoying herself. Just this afternoon she had been crying over Sameen and now she was having fun with Claire. Root watched Claire order them fries. She didn’t like Claire like she liked Sameen, though. She just enjoyed spending time with her.

Claire took two baskets of fries from the server and skated past Root to the tables. She dropped them down and slid into the booth.

“You come here a lot?” Claire asked as Root sat down, picking up some fries. “It’s nice.”

“Yeah,” Root said, looking around, “We have most of our BACKS meetings here.”

“That’s your alien club, right?” Claire leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. “When’s your next meeting? I’d love to come.”

“Really?” Root grinned. “I’m not sure yet. We’re on semi-hiatus.”

Claire watched her quietly, eating a fry. “Because of your friend?”

Root scratched her nose, looking away. “Um, and for other reasons. I’m not really in an adventure mood right now.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I want to not talk about it,” Root countered.

Claire shrugged. “Whatever. Have you heard of the Fermi Paradox?”

Root scoffed, biting into a fry. “What do you take me for? An idiot?”

“I’m just asking,” Claire laughed. “I’m not an alien kind of person, just regular science, but I was trying to do some research.”

Root’s heart warmed a little bit. Claire had read about aliens for her. She thought about Sameen and their sleepovers discussing aliens and space. Sameen didn’t really do any research on her own; she was content to let Root explain everything. Root didn’t know which was better.

“Have you read about the Great Filter Theory?” Root asked her.

Claire pulled out her phone. “No, I haven’t.”

“It’s basically that all societies in the universe destroy themselves before accomplishing space travel. Like, there’s a point in time-“

“Oh, I see,” Claire interrupted her, reading from her phone. “Civilizations crumble before developing space capabilities. Though, we might have already passed the Great Filter and are the only ones who can go into space now. Interesting.”

Root frowned and watched as Claire scrolled, reading about the theory herself. Alright, maybe discussing the subject was the better way. Root looked around as Claire educated herself.

She spotted a couple coming through the doors and squinted. It was Tomas and Sameen. Root gasped and slid down in her seat. She didn’t want them to see her. Tomas could probably guess that Root was the one pranking him.

“You ok?” Claire asked, looking perplexed. “Why are you hiding?”

“Sameen and Tomas are here,” Root whispered.

Claire looked over her shoulder and spotted them. “So? This is a free country.”

“I’ve been sending sex toys to Tomas’ house for the past week.”

Claire looked at her, mouth open. “Oh my god. What?”

Root rolled her eyes. “He’s an asshole. Don’t feel bad for him.”

“You can afford that?”

“No,” Root smirked, “but his parents can.”

Claire looked back at them and sat up. “They’re coming over.”

Root watched as Tomas stomped towards her, scowling. Sameen was following slowly behind him, her hands shoved in the pockets of her sweatshirt. She smiled sheepishly as she got close. Sameen noticed Claire at the table with Root and her smile dropped.

“Amanda,” Tomas started, slamming his hands on the table, “you have to stop it.”

“My name,” Root said, straightening up, “is not Amanda.”

“Whatever,” Tomas waved his hand dismissively. “I’m ordering you-“

“It’s not whatever,” Claire spoke up. “Her name is Root.”

Tomas turned to her. “I don’t know who you are and I don’t care. I’m talking to her.”

“What’s wrong, Tomas?” Root asked, casually picking up a fry. “Don’t know what to do with your gifts?”

“My parents are really mad,” he explained, angrily. “They think I’m buying it.”

“Why would they think that? Do you have a history of buying inappropriate things from sketchy sites?”

Tomas growled at her and pushed away from the table, tramping across the arcade. Sameen stepped forward, stopping next to the table. She looked down at Root.

“Hey,” she said softly, lips pursed. “How are you doing?”

Root didn’t look at her, just stared down at her fries. “I’m fine,” she grunted. “I’m kind of busy right now.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sameen turn and walk away. Root looked up and watched her go stand at the ticket counter with Tomas.

Root slid out of her side of the booth and moved to sit on Claire’s side.

“What are you doing?” Claire asked her, dropping her phone on the table and turning to sit sideways, her back against the wall.

Root licked her lips and moved further into the booth, pulling a knee up to stop close to Claire. She leaned forward, running her thumb over Claire’s cheek, smiling when she heard Claire suck in a breath, and pressed their lips together. After a moment, Claire’s hand came up to rest on Root’s hip.

Kissing Claire was not like kissing Sameen. Sameen felt like summer, hot and wet and thick. Sameen tasted like the future. Kissing Claire was nice, but it wasn’t the same.

Root tasted salt and felt Claire softly push her away. She realized she was crying and quickly wiped her face. Claire smiled softly at her.

“Don’t worry about it, Root,” Claire said. “It’s ok.”

Root shook her head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”

“I do,” Claire shrugged. “Your ex is here and you’re sad.”

“She’s not my ex,” Root mumbled, but she sat back in the booth. “We were just friends.”


	20. Sophomore Slump or Comeback of the Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few Notes:
> 
> 1\. There will be sex in this story eventually. Not soon, but I just want you to be aware?  
> 2\. I have a tag on my tumblr that's sort of an accompaniment to this story? I update it often.  
> maybesomedaysameen.tumblr.com/tagged/the+vast+thing

Sameen sped down the worn road towards their railroad car clubhouse, Bear racing alongside her. She had been awake since five am and the sun was now beginning to set, but she was too wound up to be tired. She growled and stopped pedaling, letting her bike cruise down the bumpy road.

She couldn’t believe Root would kiss Claire like that. Sameen looked around at the empty lots around her. Did Root like Claire? When Sameen had told Root about Tomas, Root had said that they weren’t dating. Maybe that had changed.

Sameen sighed and started pedaling again, slowly drifting down the road. She breathed in the late August air, still warm, but not as skin-melting as it had been. Sameen couldn’t blame Root for moving on. She hadn’t exactly tried to keep their friendship alive.

She’d also been kissing Tomas for the past few months. Sameen glanced down at Bear and saw him panting. She lightly squeezed her brakes, slowing down so he could rest at the slower pace. She’d decided to spend the night at their clubhouse to get some space and clear her head.

Her house felt so empty, even when the boys were being loud. She’d spent more time in her room the past week then she had in months, just staring at her ceiling, at the star chart Root had made her last Christmas.

Sameen glanced down into the basket attached to the front her bike and looked at the dark green blanket she’d put there when she left her house. When she’d ran into Root at the arcade a few days ago, Root had said she was too busy to talk.

Sameen scoffed. ‘Too busy.’ Yeah right. She was just throwing Sameen’s words back in her face. Root was never too busy to talk to Sameen. They were best friends. Sameen remembered again that she had pushed Root away and given her every reason to think she didn’t want to be friends. She’d been pushing her away for months.

She picked up the pace again, looking at the sunset. The yellow and blue spreading across the sky like a bruise. She’d seen prettier sunsets. Sameen turned right abruptly, Bear barking as he tried to keep up with her.

“Sorry, Bear,” Sameen apologized. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

Even if Sameen had been pushing Root away, it was Root who ended the friendship. Sameen rolled her eyes. She hadn’t thought a boyfriend would come between then. She frowned. She knew she was lying to herself. She’d started dating Tomas just to distance herself from Root, maybe help herself forget her feelings.

Feelings. Sameen scoffed. She didn’t have feelings, not like that. She didn’t connect to people. Except for Root. Root managed to get under her skin and drive her crazy. Root’s smile, Root’s voice, Root’s skin and…Root’s tears.

Sameen huffed as she rolled passed another empty wheat field. She knew she was the one causing Root pain. Until she saw Root crying, she’d managed to convince herself that Root was doing fine, that she didn’t miss Sameen, that Sameen didn’t miss her. Now…Now she had to admit that she was hurting her. The thought made her stomach clench and made her want to punch something.

Sameen noticed a stand on the side of the road up ahead. Who would set up out here? Sameen had never seen another soul out this way before. When she got closer, she saw a sign that read ‘Claire’s Candy and Carvings.’

This must be where Root met Claire and got the wolf statue she’d given Sameen. Sameen clenched her hands around her brakes and hopped off her bike, letting it clatter to the ground behind her. She stomped over to Claire, Bear at her heels.

Sameen stopped next to Claire, breathing angrily, hands balled into fists. She waited for a minute, but Claire didn’t look up from her book.

“Hello?” Sameen demanded, raising her arms.

Claire glanced up from her book, looked Sameen over, and returned to reading. “Root’s friend, right?”

“Root’s best friend,” Sameen clarified. “Remember that.”

Claire shrugged, turning a page. “I heard you and Root weren’t friends anymore.”

“You heard wrong,” Sameen growled. She shoved her finger in Claire’s face. “You need to stay away from her.”

Claire finally turned her attention to Sameen, closing her book. “Root can do whatever she wants. You’re not her mother…or her girlfriend.”

Sameen lunged forward, grabbing the front of Claire’s shirt and yanking her close. “You don’t know anything about our relationship.”

“I know that I’m tired of listening to Root complain about how you broke her heart,” Claire said, unaffected by Sameen’s gruffness. “Just apologize to her so she stops being so sad. I befriended her for science, not for tears.”

Sameen ground her teeth at the mention of Root crying. So, she thought, Tuesday at school wasn’t the only time Root had gotten upset. Sameen felt like throwing up. Her attempt to protect Root was backfiring and causing her pain.

“Um,” Claire raised her eyebrows, “If you’re not going to hit me, can you let me go?”

Sameen dropped her hands, stepping away. She turned on her heels and walked back to her bike. Clearly, Claire was going to offer nothing of substance. Sameen wasn’t going to waste her time.

“Hey,” Claire called as Sameen walked her bike to the stand, “Do you guys have some, like, secret hideout around here? Why do you come out here?”

Sameen smiled, smug. However close Root and Claire had gotten, Root hadn’t shown her their secret clubhouse.

“Nope,” Sameen said, popping the ‘p.’ “Sorry.”

“Whatever,” Claire said, sounding skeptical. She reached out to turn on an electric lantern that sat on her table. “Look, we’re both friends with Root, so we should at least try to get along.”

Sameen pursed her lips. If she was going to get Root back, maybe she should try and make nice with Claire. She probably wasn’t as infuriating as she seemed right now. Sameen nodded sharply.

“Fine. I’m sorry for grabbing you.”

“Why don’t you take some fudge?” Claire offered, gesturing to the table.

Sameen wrinkled her nose. “I don’t like fudge. It’s too sweet.”

Claire rolled her eyes. “For Root, dumbass. As a gift.”

Sameen raised her eyebrows. She hadn’t thought about giving Root a present as part of her apology. Girls liked gifts, right?

“OK,” Sameen said, reading the names of the flavors, “I’ll take…Pralines and Cream and…Chocolate Peanut Butter. I think Root would like those; She’s into that sticky sweet crap.”

“Thanks?” Claire chuckled dryly. She put a few squares of each flavor in a box and handed it across the table to Sameen. “Go get ‘em, Tiger.”

“Never say that ever again,” Sameen ordered her, dropping the box into her basket and throwing her leg over her bike. She looked down and spotted Bear lying down by Claire’s sign. “Come on, Bear. Let’s go.”

Bear jumped up and Sameen started pedaling. She waved over her shoulder to Claire as she rode of the end of the concrete and started pedaling along the grass path.

She hadn’t expected to get advice from Claire, much less find herself willing to take it, but when Sameen thought about what she wanted the answer was Root. She missed their talks and their late-night swims. The way Root always had something to say.

The silence had been killing her. Before Root, Sameen had thrived in silence. She hadn’t liked it when anyone talked to her or tried to get her to talk to them. Sometimes, her own thoughts drove her crazy, but Root…Root’s voice was like a melody that soothed and excited her at the same time.

Sameen rolled her eyes as she stepped off her bike, carrying it onto the train tracks. She got back on and rolled along towards their train car. She must really be in bad shape if she was describing anything as a ‘melody.’ That’s the sort of nonsense Root would latch onto.

Sameen smiled as she pedaled, their train coming into view, glowing a rusty red in the last of the sunlight. Root would love it if Sameen told her she thought Root was a melody. Maybe Sameen could paint her a picture. Something personal that Root would love. She sighed. Apparently, she’d decided to apologize to Root.

She slowed to a stop in front of their clubhouse and stepped off her bike, picking it up and leaning it against the wheels of their train. She knelt to pick up Bear and moved to the open door.

“Bear,” she commanded. “Jump.”

Bear jumped from her arms up into the train, his nails clacking against the metal floor. Sameen looked to her bike and realized she had forgotten a lantern or anything she could use as a light. So much for exploring tonight.

Sameen dug into her pants pocket and pulled out a pen and a few coins. She jogged over to the track and spread the coins out on the metal beam. Root would like them.

She turned and walked to her bike, picking up the box of fudge. She pulled the cap off the pen with her teeth and quickly scribbled ‘For Root’ on the box. She tossed the box onto the train and dropped her pen into the basket.

Sameen was finally starting to feel tired. The long day was catching up to her and, with the sun gone, she was starting to drag. She put her arms on the edge of the train and groaned as she hauled herself inside. They really needed to build some stairs.

She looked around at the personal touches Root had added. There were glow-in-the-dark stars stuck around the walls and a large comforter spread on the floor. Sameen spotted a cooler in the corner and headed for it. Bear danced around her feet and she nudged him way, bending down to pull the lid off. It was full of snacks, goldfish and apples and cookies.

Sameen smiled and shut the cooler, pushing Bear’s nose away.

“No,” she scolded him, “this is Root’s stuff.”

Bear woofed softly, but bounced over to the blanket and laid down. Sameen followed him, dropping to the floor and spreading out. She yawned loudly, trying to decide if she wanted to get the blanket from her bike.

Sameen had to admit to herself that the prospect of spending the rest of her life with Root was terrifying. She'd never really thought about her future before; it hadn't seemed worth it. She didn't make friends. She didn't get excited about future goals. She couldn't see herself marrying anyone.

Sameen was not going to fall in love with Root. At least, not in the way Root probably wanted. Maybe...Maybe Sameen didn't have to commit to forever right now. Maybe she could commit to 'as long as she could.' Maybe Root would be satisfied with a 'while this lasts.'

The feelings that Root stirred in her made her feel small, like a child. She didn't know what to do with herself, with whatever was happening inside her. She just knew that right now, and for as far into the future as she could imagine, she wanted to be close to Root. She wanted to make Root happy.

Maybe that could be enough.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen drifted awake, sucking air in through her nose. She became aware in small steps. Her foot was cold, but the rest of her was not. She was covered with something warm and soft. There was light coming from somewhere.

Sameen opened her eyes, sitting up. She ran a hand over her face, trying to orient herself. She blinked a few times and looked around.

Someone had been in the train since she’d been asleep. There was a lantern sitting on top of the cooler, it’s orange light casting a warm glow into the space. She pulled her legs up and realized her shoes were off and the green blanket had been put on her.

It must have been Root, Sameen thought. No one else knew about their place. She looked to where she’d thrown the box of fudge earlier, but it was gone. Sameen smiled softly, glad that Root had found that. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone.

She opened her message with Root, frowning when she saw they hadn’t texted each other in almost a month. Her thumbs hovered over the keys, hesitating. Finally, she just typed out her message.

//Are you going to watch the game in the park tomorrow night?//

Sameen dropped her phone, not expecting a quick reply. It was almost four am. She wondered when Root had come by. She laid down again, reaching her arm out to pet Bear. The blankets shifted as he rearranged himself to put his head on her stomach. Her phone buzzed loudly on the metal floor.

//Yes.//

Sameen swallowed and typed out her next message.

//Can we talk then?//

//Yes.//


	21. Teenagers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always forget to say how much you guys mean to me. Like, seriously your comments and kudos keep me going.

Root looked around the park, trying to spot Sameen. The sun had set an hour ago and she was starting to worry. Root had come to the park with Zoe and Joss. They’d picked her up since she didn’t have a car. She looked over at them, giggling to each other about the look of rapt attention on John’s face. Apparently, he was really into the Dallas Cowboys.

She looked up at the large screen. The Mayor of Bishop had set up a large screen in the park so everyone could gather and watch the game. The Cowboys were doing well this year, Root had heard. She wasn’t really into sports, but when Sameen had asked if she was going to the event, Root had said yes.

She felt a hand on her leg and looked over. Zoe was smiling at her.

“She’ll be here, Root,” Zoe assured her. “You know how she is about being on time.”

Root nodded, biting her lip. Zoe was right. Sameen wouldn’t have reached out if she didn’t want to talk.

“I’m just nervous, I guess,” Root sighed.

John peeled his eyes and looked at Root. “Don’t be. She’s been keyed up all day.”

“Really?” Root asked, hopeful. “That’s a good sign?”

“With Sameen,” Joss joked, “you never know.”

Root’s phone buzzed on the ground next to her. She picked it up and smiled. Sameen was in the parking lot. Root jumped to her feet.

“I’ll be right back.”

Joss shrugged. “No rush. Go get your girl.”

Root grinned and hurried across the field towards the parking lot. The crowd around her cheered at something on the screen. She squinted ahead, trying to spot Sameen.

When she got closer, she could see her sitting on top of John’s car. Sameen raised her arm and waved to Root across the distance. Root jogged towards her and stopped in front of the car.

“So, are you coming down or am I going up?” Root asked, putting her hands on the hood.

Sameen looked up, fixing her eyes on the large screen at the other end of the park. “Come up.”

Root shrugged and put her knee on the hood, lifting herself up. She kicked her shoes off behind her, letting them bounce to the ground. Carefully, she crawled up the windshield and dropped to the roof besides Sameen, their shoulders brushing.

Root took a deep breath and stretched her legs in front of her. She was sweating in the heat, her skin sticking to the car. She wasn’t sure if she should say something first or wait for Sameen to start. Really, Sameen was the one who needed to apologize and the one who asked her here.

“So,” Sameen started, eyes still watching the game, “how’s school going?”

Root stared at her, confused. “Um,” she pushed her hair behind her ears, “it’s fine. Hasn’t been too different from last year.”

“How’s your mom?”

“She’s fine,” Root sighed. “She keeps asking me if I have a boyfriend.”

Sameen chuckled and leaned back on her hands. “Still not cool with you being gay.”

“She’s…not talking about it,” Root turned to watch the football game, too. “She just keeps saying ‘girls mature faster than boys do. Just wait. You’ll meet someone.’”

“Boys are dumb,” Sameen muttered, bouncing her legs. “She needs to get over that.”

Root pursed her lips. She really didn’t want to talk about boys with Sameen. She was hoping Sameen wouldn’t force her to hang out with Tomas.

Sameen coughed into her fist. “Have you, uh, have you started Dante’s Inferno?”

“Yes!” Root cried, happy for the change of subject. “I can’t believe he compares himself to Ovid and Lucan. Seriously? His metamorphoses are cool, but they’re not on the same level. Dante is so full of shit.”

Sameen glanced at her out of the corner of her eye and smirked.

“What?” Root asked, feeling self-conscious. She reached up to touch her nose. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Sameen said, shaking her head. “I didn’t understand anything you just said.”

“Oh,” Root said, “you haven’t started it yet?”

“I have,” Sameen rolled her eyes. “It’s just dense.”

“Well, I could help you…” she offered, scratching her arm. “If you want.”

Sameen smiled. “I’d like that.”

Root licked her lips and looked away. The Cowboy Cheerleaders were on the screen, dancing. She wondered if she could convince Sameen to be a cheerleader for Halloween.

“That’s why you’re first in our class this year,” Sameen said. “I’m not doing as well in English as you are.”

“That’s alright,” Root joked, “my Biology grade isn’t great.”

“So, an A-?”

“A B+, actually,” Root sniffed, pushing her hair over her shoulder. “I’m practically failing.”

“I’ll help you with Biology if you help me with English?” Sameen looked at her.

Root laughed. “It’s a deal.” She held her hand out for Sameen to shake.

Sameen reached out slowly, her face an odd expression. She took Root’s hand and Root drew a shaky breath. She’d forgotten how warm Sameen was, always. Root took her hand away and shoved it in her pocket.

Root dropped her head back and looked up at the stars, twinkling in the sky. She hadn’t used her telescope in forever. She’d been barely keeping up with the NASA reports. All the extra time alone hadn’t been productive. Root had spent most of that time staring at the ceiling.

“When does Orion come back?” Sameen asked her.

Root tilted her neck, looking at Sameen. She’d also dropped her head back to look at the stars. Sameen glanced at her and Root looked away, smiling to herself.

“November,” she answered. “It’s a winter constellation, remember?”

“I know,” Sameen scoffed. “I just didn’t know the exact month.”

Root laughed and sat forward. She bent her legs up and wrapped her arms around her knees. It was nice to be joking with Sameen again. If she tried, she could pretend like they’d never fought.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” she asked, trying to ignore her racing heart.

Sameen frowned and looked away. “I broke up with Tomas. A while ago.”

Root swallowed, her stomach twisting. “How long ago?”

“A few days. Wednesday.”

That was the day after Sameen had walked in on Root crying. Of course, Root thought to herself. She’d spent so much energy making sure Sameen thought she wasn’t upset and the second Sameen saw her cry, she broke up with Tomas.

“Why?” Root asked her. She needed to hear Sameen say it. “Why did you break up with him?”

“Because he’s dumb and always smells like stale cigarettes,” Sameen replied, wrinkling his nose.

Root scratched her chin and looked away. That wasn’t exactly a romantic statement. The crowd in front of them shouted encouragements at the screen. Root decided not to push.

“You didn’t start smoking, did you?”

“No way,” Sameen said, emphatically. “You know…he was really sweaty, too.”

“Probably because he was wearing that jacket.”

Sameen laughed. “I liked the note you sent him. That it made him look like a douchebag.”

“It did!” Root asserted. She turned, pulling a knee under her to face fully face Sameen. “Weren’t you dying all summer in the heat?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah,” Root repeated. “And you’re always half-naked. Imagine wearing leather.”

Sameen held her hands up. “I’m not arguing with you. I think you’re right!”

Root crossed her arms, feeling pressure behind her eyes. She pressed her fingers against her eyelids. “I can’t believe you dated him.”

When Sameen didn’t respond immediately, Root opened her eyes. Sameen’s face was blank, her mask firmly in place. Root couldn’t read her. She ran her eyes over Sameen’s face, drinking in the expression, so familiar. She wanted their relationship back.

“I’m sorry,” Sameen said softly. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I…don’t know how you felt, or still feel, but I know it was my fault. I shouldn’t have started dating Tomas and I shouldn’t have let you end our friendship.”

Root nodded, pressure building. She reached up to wipe a tear away. “You hurt me. I don’t care that you don’t like me, but you lied for so long and then you didn’t even say you’re sorry.”

“I’m saying it now,” Sameen reached out to lay a hand on Root’s leg. “I’m sorry. As sorry as I can be. I promise.”

Root swallowed, her throat tight. She was so mad at Sameen, so upset at what she did and how she reacted, but Root couldn’t let her go. She was so much happier with Sameen in her life. There was so much left to do on her list and all of it would be better together.

“Root?” Sameen asked, looking vulnerable, despite her blank expression.

“I just want…” Root trailed off. She wanted so much.

She wanted to lay under the stairs and hold Sameen’s hand. She wanted to ride around town and drink Slushees at night. She wanted to paint their treehouse, and make a blanket fort, and know what Sameen thought about absolutely everything.

Root reached over and shoved Sameen off the car, grunting with effort. She took a deep breath, quickly wiping her eyes and leaned forward to see Sameen lying on her back on the gravel, groaning. Sameen looked up at her with wide eyes.

“Yes, Sameen. We can be friends.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, and lifted her legs, resting her feet up against the car. “Did that make you feel better?”

“A little bit,” Root nodded. She stretched out on the roof of the car and propped her chin up on her hands. “We have to set some ground rules.”

“Rules?” Sameen said, looking skeptical.

“Yeah, like…” Root thought for a moment. “If one of us makes a new friend, they have to be friends with both of us.”

“Sounds reasonable,” Sameen shrugged, her shoulders pushing some gravel around. “We spend all our time together anyway.”

“True,” Root agreed. “Hmm, all dates have to be approved.”

Sameen laughed. “We won’t be dating anyone, but ok.”

“You never know,” Root shrugged. “Could happen.”

Sameen narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. “Do you like someone else?”

“No…” Root said, drawing out the word. “I’m not you.”

“Wow,” Sameen snorted, shifting on the hard ground, “are you ever going to get over this?”

“It hasn’t even been five minutes, Sameen! I’m probably going to be upset for a while.”

“Oh, is there anything I can do?” Sameen dropped her legs to the ground and rolled onto her knees.

Root watched as she climbed to her feet. When Sameen turned to face her, they were almost eye-level. Root’s spot on the car giving her extra height. She looked down on Sameen and drew in a breath.

“You could take me home? We could have a sleepover?”

Sameen reached up to poke Root in the forehead. “I figured we do that anyway, nerd. I meant something specific.”

Root shrugged and sat up. “I’m sure I’ll think of something.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root stared across the bed, trying to see Sameen’s face in the dark. She felt tense, despite the fact that they were friends again. She wasn’t quite sure where to go from here or what had changed.

She reached out, blindly trying to find Sameen in the dark. Sameen’s hand came up and guided Root’s to her face.

“You good?” Sameen asked, her voice husky.

“Yeah,” Root whispered, softly running her thumb across Sameen’s cheek. “I’m good.”

“Sleep time,” Sameen moaned.

She shifted forward, pressing herself to Root’s body, and tucked her head under Root’s chin. Root gasped softly, the familiar smell of Sameen floating up to her. God, she’d missed this.

The blankets shifted and Sameen lifted her arm, laying it across Root’s side. She slid a hand under the back of Root’s shirt, her hands warm against Root’s clammy skin. Root relaxed, letting herself sink into the bed and into Sameen’s arms.

Sameen’s feet touched hers and their legs tangled together.

“Goodnight, Root,” Sameen sighed.

Root smiled to herself. “Goodnight, Sameen.”

Root closed her eyes, the weight of the past few months draining from her and leaving her exhausted. As she drifted off, she felt warm lips press against her collarbones, and sighed.


	22. The Next Ten Minutes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has some great feelings about this fic and I really love it.

Root ran her hand over Bear's soft fur, smiling as the smell of rain reached her nose. They were hanging out in the front yard after school and Root was laying in the grass, spooning Bear. His fur was slightly damp from sweat, but he was still the best to curl against. Well, second best.

Root lifted her head from the ground to glance over at Sameen. She and John were working on a Go-Kart in the driveway. Sameen noticed her looking and waved an oil covered hand. She glared at John's back, making Root giggle. Root dropped her head back to the ground and rolled onto her back, keeping a hand on Bear.

Things had been going well recently. They'd hung out almost every single day and Root had stopped dreading their classes together. Sameen had been different since they'd made up, more interested in what Root was doing and more physically affectionate. They weren't kissing or anything, but Sameen's new favorite thing was sitting so close their arms touched.

Root drew in a deep breath and closed her eyes. The wind blew through her hair and made the grass tickle her toes.

"Here's what I think," Lionel said from the ground next to her, "Bear's basically grown up now. He should learn some tricks."

"He can sit, stay, and beg," Root said, turning her head to smile at Bear. "He's a good dog."

"He's the best dog," Sameen added from the driveway. "Teach him to play dead."

Root sat up, pouting. "I don't want him to play dead. Let's teach him how to roll over."

"I wish this engine would roll over," John muttered. He touched two cables together, but nothing happened. "We did something wrong."

"Speak for yourself," Sameen glowered. "I did my part perfectly."

John glared at her. "Obviously not or we wouldn't be having this problem."

Sameen put her hands on her hips and stepped towards him. "Are you saying there's a problem with my welds? I'm an actual mechanic, John."

"Maybe I should talk to Mr. Lambert. Tell him you aren't up to snuff."

"I'll show you snuff," Sameen sneered and jumped at him.

Root watched them wrestle to the ground and sighed. She wasn't worried about Sameen, even if John was twice her size. Root tapped Bear on the side.

"Come on, Bear," she said, smiling at him when he looked at her, "let's learn a new trick."

Bear jumped to his feet and hopped into her lap, licking her face. Lionel reached out to pet him.

"I don't think he's in the mood right now," Lionel laughed. "We need to catch him at the right time."

Root put her hands up and pushed Bear's nose away. "He's always like this. I don't think he has bad moods."

Lionel snorted. "I wish he could teach me that."

The front door opened and Root twisted around to see Mrs. Reese step outside. "Boys! Come do your chores!"

Lionel groaned and climbed to his feet. "Why doesn't the midget have to do her chores?"

"Because she already did them," Mrs. Reese answered. She winked at Root. "How are you, honey?"

Root smiled at her. Mrs. Reese was always so nice. "I'm doing well, Mrs. Reese. Thank you."

Mrs. Reese nodded and turned her attention to Sameen and John, still rolling around on the ground. "John! Let's go!"

Sameen pulled out of his grasp and pushed him towards the front door. "Go take out the trash, loser."

John ran a hand over his mused hair and walked away. "You win this time."

"I always win," Sameen retorted, smug. She stuck her tongue out at him.

Root watched John and Lionel walk into the house and waved at Mrs. Reese as she shut the door. A small raindrop landed on Root's leg and she wiped it away. Root laid down on her back, calmly regarding the darkening sky. She hoped the rain held off for a little while longer; she had to go to work later.

Sameen groaned as she dropped to the ground next to Root and crossed her legs.

Root raised her arms into the air and stretched. They sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company and the cool, damp breeze. Bear moved to lay between them and Sameen put one hand on his side, leaning back on her other.

"You should come live with us again," Sameen joked. "Take some chores from the rest of us."

Root chuckled. "I'm the only one doing chores at my place, so…no."

"Your mom isn't doing anything?" Sameen frowned.

Root shrugged, her shirt riding up on the small of her back. "She cooks. I got her some recipe books."

"She's still not working?"

"Not yet," Root sighed. "Apparently, her only skills are drinking and serving drinks. I don't mind working for the both of us, if it keeps her sober."

Sameen nodded and looked up at the sky. Her hair had gotten so long. Root watched as the ends brushed against the grass.

Sameen let out a breath and scratched her nose. "Wanna go to the hill later?"

"In the rain?" Root laughed.

Sameen rolled her eyes. "Afterwards. We could bring a tarp to sit on."

Root smiled, but shook her head. "I'd love to, but I can't. I have to leave for work in like 20 minutes."

"Oh," Sameen said, surprised. "I didn't realize."

She climbed to her feet, brushing her butt off. She reached down, offering Root her hands. Root took them and let Sameen lift her up. She slipped on the wet grass and Sameen's arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her close.

Root blushed and swallowed. She stared into Sameen's eyes, smiling nervously. Stepping out of Sameen's grasp, she reached down to pick up her phone.

"Come on," Root nodded to the house and lead the way to the door.

Root opened the door and hurried up the stairs to Sameen's room. She kept a spare uniform in the dresser they'd bought at the beginning of the summer. Most of her clothing and books were back home now, but she still had a few things here.

Root threw her phone on the bed and pulled open her dresser as Sameen walked in and shut the door.

"How late are you working?" Sameen asked, hopping up to sit on her desk.

"Until closing," Root said, undressing. She tried not to notice the way Sameen's eyes lingered on her. "So, I'll just be going right to bed afterwards."

She pulled on her khakis, buttoning them over her stomach. She put her white polo over her head and sighed.

"I really wish the uniform wasn't a white shirt. If it's raining when I leave later, I'm gonna be see through."

Sameen chuckled. "I could borrow John's car and come pick you up?"

"He lets you drive it?" Root asked, skeptical. She sat on the bed to put her shoes on. "I'm surprised."

"The girls are coming to pick him up later," Sameen shrugged. "I need to practice driving anyway. We turn 16 in a few months."

Root nodded and finished tying her shoes. "Sure."

"Can I have free ice cream?" Sameen grinned, swinging her feet.

Root rolled her eyes and picked up her bag. "No. Mr. Greer is always watching."

"Gross," Sameen stood up and opened the bedroom door. "You sleeping over tonight?"

Root slipped passed her out the door and started down the stairs. "If that's alright?"

"Whatever," Sameen said, jumping the last couple of steps so she could open the front door. "I'll see you later."

Root smiled and walked out the front door, hopping down the steps. She pulled her bike off the porch and smiled up at Sameen. "See you soon."

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root sighed and leaned back against the counter. For a Friday night, the shop was pretty dead. Someone must be having a party, she thought to herself. Once again, she was not invited. Root wondered if Sameen had been invited.

She glanced out the window. The rain was pouring down. Thank goodness Sameen was coming to get her later. Root didn't want to even think about biking home in this weather. She hoped this was the last of the summer storms.

Root pulled her phone out. Only 45 minutes until she could go home. The bell on the front door jingled and Root pushed herself off the counter. The entryway blocked costumers from view until they were in the main area.

"Welcome!" Root greeted. Sameen appeared, carrying her backpack. "Oh, it's you."

Sameen frowned at her, insulted, and pushed her wet hair from her face. "Is that any way to greet me? I could go."

"No!" Root laughed. "I'm sorry. Don't leave me to go home in this weather."

Sameen tossed her backpack onto a table and smirked. "I thought you'd feel that way. Just the walk from the car got me wet."

Root wiggled her eyebrows. "Oh yeah?"

Sameen flushed and glared at her. "Don't make it gross."

Root stepped forward to lean against the freezers. "It's only gross if you don't want it."

"Whatever," Sameen mumbled, her face darkening. "Just…give me some ice cream."

Root laughed and slid the freezer open. "Need something to cool you down?"

"Stop," Sameen begged her, pulling open her bag. She took out her Biology text book. "Two scoops of Triple Chocolate."

"Coming right up," Root grinned, pulling the scoop out of the water and shaking it off. She watched Sameen get settled as she scooped. "You brought homework?"

"We have a Bio test tomorrow and I know you're not prepared," Sameen said, sitting down. She put her feet up on the chair next to her. "Is Greer here?"

"No," Root put Sameen's ice cream on top of the freezer and started scooping her own. "just me. Biology is just so hard."

"It's just bodies, Root," Sameen scoffed. "You're just a space nerd and I'm a body nerd."

Root smirked and slid the freezer shut. "Well, when we get to Anatomy, I can be your study guide."

"Oh my god," Sameen threw her pencil at Root, "loser."

Root picked up Sameen's ice cream and walked out from behind the counter. She sat down next to Sameen and passed the ice cream over. Root watched Sameen take giant bite of ice cream and winced. Sameen's face scrunched up from the cold.

"Weirdo," Root laughed. "You can't just shovel ice cream into your face like that."

Sameen swallowed hard, her eyes watering. "Don't tell me what to do. Just open the textbook."

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen stared up at the ceiling, her head against Root's. They were lying on the floor of the treehouse, sprawled out among the blankets, listening to music. Sameen had recently discovered crop tops. Root had taken her to the Goodwill the other day and she'd bought Sameen four different crop tops.

Sameen scratched her bare stomach, wiggling her toes in the breeze from the fan. Root was humming along to the music.

"Tell me again what we're listening to," Sameen asked, breathing in the muggy air. "Timmy and Sarah?"

"Tegan and Sara," Root corrected her. "They're lesbian twins."

Sameen crinkled her nose. "Lesbians with each other?"

"No," Root laughed, bending her neck to look at Sameen upside down. "With other people. They're just both gay."

"Huh," Sameen lifted her leg, pulling it to her chest, and stretched. "Is that a thing? Gay siblings?"

She felt Root shrug. "I don't know. Probably."

Thunder clapped loudly outside the treehouse. Sameen shivered.

"It's spooky being outside in the storm."

Root turned onto her stomach, her head next to Sameen. "If it wasn't lightning, I'd say we should go swimming. I love to swim in the rain."

"And run around, right?" Sameen laughed. "That's what you said in the hurricane."

"Aww, you listen!" Root grinned. "How sweet."

Sameen groaned and sat up, pushing her hair from her neck. "I don't understand. How can it be raining and hot? Shouldn't rain cool things down?"

"Not Texas rain," Root scoffed. "The humidity rises, but the temperature never drops."

Sameen cleared the blankets from the floor and pulled her shorts off. "Well, I'm sleeping as naked as possible, sorry."

"Don't apologize," Root winked, both eyes closing adorably. "Here, I'll take my pants off, too."

Sameen watched Root wiggled out of her pajama pants and wiped her forehead. It was too hot to even think about doing anything fun. She let herself plop on the ground. Root settled next to her and threw an arm over her stomach.

"No," Sameen groaned, pushing Root away. "Too hot."

Root smirked as she wiggled back. "If I had a nickel…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My cute baby gays


	23. Skinny Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're starting to get a little more sensual/sexual. Just a heads up.

Sameen ran her eyes over Root’s face, dipping her paintbrush into water. They were on the hill; Sameen painting a portrait of Root and Root talking excessively about something. Sameen glanced down at the canvas propped on her knees. She was almost done, but she couldn’t quite get Root’s lips right.

“You must live in peace…Or leave the galaxy,” Root said dramatically, her eyes wide. “Spooky, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Sameen muttered, distracted, and picked up another paintbrush. “Really spooky.”

Root rolled her eyes and launched into another explanation about some broadcast interruption.

Sameen liked to paint. She wasn’t good at writing poetry, or talking about emotions, but she could paint, and sometimes it made her happy. She glanced up at Root, her eyes lingering on Root’s lips. The sun glistened off her skin.

Root had lost some of her baby fat in the past year, Sameen noticed. Her pale cheekbones contrasted sharply against her brown hair. Root’s smooth skin was flush in the midday heat and Sameen watched a bead of sweat roll down her neck, pooling in the hollow of her throat.

Sameen tore her eyes away and mixed some red on her pallet. She picked some up with her brush, adjusting Root’s smile on the canvas. This was as close as she was going to get it.

“Ok,” Sameen said, interrupting Root. “It’s done.”

Root scrambled to her knees and crawled across the grass to sit next to Sameen. Sameen tilted the canvas to show her.

Root gasped softly, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. When her eyes began to water, Sameen looked down at her painting.

She’d painted the solar system in a straight line across the canvas and Root’s portrait in front of them, her face empty except for her smile. She’d want to see the planets through Root, because Root was more than she seemed.

“Oh my god,” Root whispered, emotional, “it’s…I love it so much.”

Sameen shrugged awkwardly. “It’s nothing really.”

“Sameen,” Root turned to look at her, wiping her eyes, “It’s perfect. You even gave me a leather jacket.”

“Do you like the planets?” Sameen asked, feeling tense under the weight of Root’s gaze. “It’s because you’re such a space case.”

Root wrapped her arms around Sameen, laying her head on her shoulder. Their sweaty skin stuck together and Sameen used it as an excuse to push Root away.

“It’s just a painting, Nerd,” Sameen scoffed, rising to her feet.

“Can we hang it in our room?” Root asked, pulling the painting out of Sameen’s hands. “Your room.”

Sameen nodded and used a hand to shield her eyes. She looked out over the landscape. Texas was pretty, despite the terrible summer weather. She was glad it was starting to cool down a little.

“Remember our first time out here?” Sameen asked.

“The meteor shower,” Root replied, smiling. “I was so surprised you were out here. You used to be so mean.”

“Yeah, well, I had a huge cr- uh,” Sameen coughed. “I didn’t want to deal with anyone trying to bully the new kid.”

“So, you bullied me instead.”

Sameen looked down on Root. She’d stretched her legs out in front of her. Sameen put her hands on her hips.

“We became friends quickly,” she justified. “There was hardly any bullying.”

Root laughed. “There was enough. How’d you find out about the hill anyway?”

“I just found it,” Sameen shrugged. “I think I had an argument with John and needed space.”

“You needed space?” Root laughed. “Well, you found it.”

Sameen sat down next to Root. “And I lost it. You haven’t left me alone since.”

Root smiled at her and bumped their shoulders together. “You love it.”

“Yeah,” Sameen nodded. “I do.”

Sameen watched Root blush and wished she could kiss her. She wanted to put her hand on Root’s face, feel the warm of her skin. She was giving Root space, though, letting her lead. Sameen had just hurt Root so much and she didn’t want to push too far or do anything else to jeopardize their friendship.

Root pushed her hair behind her ear. “Do you still want to do our roadtrip next summer?”

“I’ve been saving up,” Sameen replied, dropping onto her back, closing her eyes against the sun. “I’m looking forward to it.”

She felt Root lay down next to her and scooted away slightly. Now that she had admitted her feelings to herself, it was harder to pretend.

“Good!” Root said cheerfully. “I have it mostly planned. We can go over it tonight?”

“Sure.”

Sameen breathed in the warm air, feeling light. A phone buzzed. She cracked an eye to peek at Root.

Root frowned at her phone and sighed. “I have to go home. My mom broke the microwave and she needs me to fix it.”

“That’s so annoying,” Sameen grumbled, but she sat up. “You’ll come over later?”

Root nodded and climbed to her feet. “Yeah, I’ll text you when I’m heading over.”

Sameen stood and started gathering her things. “Don’t forget the painting.”

“I could never,” Root smiled at her. “I’ll cherish it forever.”

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root pedaled lazily down the street towards Sameen’s house. It had taken her longer to help her mom than she’d anticipated. She didn’t understand how she could be so good with technology and her mother could barely operate a microwave.

She turned left and glanced up. The sun was starting to set and soft, pink light spread across the sky. Her backpack strap slid down her shoulder and she raised a hand to adjust it.

Root tried to imagine her future, out of this town and out of Texas. Maybe she’d apply for an internship in Houston, summer after next. Sameen could find a medical internship or get a job as a mechanic. They could rent a little apartment and go to museums all the time.

Root laughed softly and rolled to a stop in front of Sameen’s house. She was thinking about living with Sameen, but, in a year, they could both be dating other people. Sameen could be anyway; Root doubted she’d find another lesbian in Bishop.

Root threw her leg over the bike and walked it to the front porch. She glanced up at Sameen’s window, smiling at the blue X taped to the glass, Sameen’s only X-Files decoration. Root leaned her bike on the porch, hopped up the steps, and let herself into the house.

“Hello?” Mrs. Reese asked, stepping out of the kitchen. She smiled when she saw Root. “Oh, Sameen came home alone. I assumed you weren’t sleeping over tonight.”

“I’m sorry,” Root apologized. “I had to help my mother with something.”

Mrs. Reese nodded sympathetically. “How is she doing?”

“Better,” Root answered. “Thank you again for helping her.”

“It was the least I can do,” Mrs. Reese waved her hand. “We’re having stuffed shells for dinner. Sameen’s in her room.”

Root thanked her and headed for the stairs. She realized she’d forgotten to text Sameen that she was on her way. It wasn’t a big deal; Sameen had been waiting for her.

Root stopped in front of Sameen’s closed door. She tried the handle, but it was locked. Root frowned, Sameen never locked her door. She knocked.

“Go away!” Sameen’s voice ordered.

Root leaned her head on the door. She heard an odd groan. “Sameen? It’s Root.”

She heard a curse, followed by the sound of sheets rustling.

“One minute!”

Root knocked on the door again. “What are you doing? Let me in.”

She could hear Sameen pulling open drawers and hopping around. A moment later, the lock clicked and Sameen pulled the door open, panting. Root took in her scattered appearance.

Sameen’s hair was a mess, sticking out in every direction, and her face was flushed. Root reached forward, untucking Sameen’s shirt from where it was stuck under her bra. Sameen’s stomach tensed when Root’s fingers brushed against it. The band of Sameen’s underwear peaked out from above her exercise shorts and Root could see that they were inside out.

Had Sameen been naked before Root knocked? Why did she look…Oh. Root’s eyes widened and blood rushed to her face. She pushed passed Sameen into the room.

Honestly, she thought, dropping her bag onto the desk, it was amazing they’d never been in this situation before. They spent so much time together and they were both teenagers, it made sense. Root swallowed hard and tried to get the image of Sameen out of her head.

Sameen coughed behind her. “You, uh, didn’t text me.”

“Yeah,” Root said, turning around. She looked over the books on Sameen’s bookshelf, avoiding her eyes. “I forgot. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Sameen shrugged awkwardly. She pulled up her shorts, looking around the room. “Did you help your mom?”

Root nodded and moved to the bed. She crawled to the middle and sat down, trying to pretend she wasn’t affected by Sameen’s dilated pupils and damp skin. “The microwave didn’t take too long to fix, but I had to get behind the fridge. She managed to disconnect the ice tray somehow.”

Sameen ran her hand through her hair. “Weird.”

Root chuckled and shook her head. This was ridiculous. She gestured for Sameen to sit in front of her. “Come here. I’ll braid your hair for you.”

She scooted back to give Sameen room to sit. When Sameen dropped onto the bed, Root saw the clasp of her bra over the back of her tanktop. Only one hook was closed.

Root rolled her eyes and leaned forward, closing the rest of the hooks. Sameen wiggled her shoulders.

“Stop that,” Sameen grumbled.

Root let the clasp snap against Sameen’s skin, making her jump. “Just trying to keep your boobs from popping out.”

Sameen glared over her shoulder. “Do the damn braid.”

Root laughed and pulled her fingers through Sameen’s hair, brushing it was best she could. Sameen’s hair was one of Root’s favorite things. It was long and thick; wavy, not curly. Root raised herself on her knees and pulled sections of Sameen’s hair into her hands.

Sameen always smelled good, like sweat and sheets and metal. Root took a deep breath, taking in her smell. Now that she knew Sameen was straight, she had to be extra sure she didn’t make her uncomfortable. Root didn’t want to have their friendship back, then lose it to her own lack of self-control.

She twisted Sameen’s hair, humming softly to herself. Root knew she could pull on Sameen’s hair without hurting her. She gave a sharp tug to tighten her braid and saw Sameen’s nostrils widen. Sameen scratched her chin, eyebrows drawing down.

“What are you humming?” Sameen asked. “Tegan and Sara?”

Root made a face. “What? This is Bach. Do you not listen to music?”

Sameen shrugged. “Not as much as you do apparently.”

Root finished twisting Sameen’s hair, holding an arm out. Sameen pulled her hair tie off her wrist and put it in Root’s hand. Root quickly tied the braid off.

“I like classical music,” Root said as Sameen stood up and moved to the desk. “After we have enough saved for our road trip, I might get a ticket to go to Dallas and see an orchestra perform.”

Sameen pulled a drawer open and pulled out a small box. “Here,” she gave the box to Root, “this is for you.”

“A present?” Root grinned. She pulled the box open and looked up at Sameen. “This is amazing.”

Inside the box was a small snow globe. Root pulled it out and examined the city inside. She didn’t recognize it, but it was beautiful. The base of the snow globe had mountains carved around it and elaborate turquoise details. Root turned it over in her hands.

“Nishapur,” she read. “Where is that?”

Sameen crossed her arms. “It’s in Iran. It’s where my mother was from.”

“Sameen,” Root breathed. She shook the snow globe and watched the snow fall on the town. “Thank you.”

“It’s next to Binalud Mountains,” Sameen said. “They’re close to a turquoise mine, that’s why it has those carvings.”

Root slid of the bed and closed the distance between them, throwing her arms around Sameen. She felt Sameen’s arms wrap around her back and closed her eyes. After a minute, she pulled away and crossed to her bookshelf.

“Which shelf should I put it on?” she asked Sameen.

“You don’t want to take it home?”

Root looked over her shoulder. “No, I don’t want my mom to break it or something.”

Sameen nodded. “Put it at your eye level.”

“Ok,” Root delicately placed the snow globe down and took a step back. “Looks good.”

Mrs. Reese’s voice floated up the stairs. “Kids! Dinner’s ready!”

Root launched herself at the door, beating the boys and Sameen to the stairs. She ran down as quickly as possible, hopping the last few steps and racing into the kitchen. She sat in her chair, first to the table, and smirked at Sameen.

“You’re getting faster,” Mrs. Reese joked, putting a large ceramic dish on the table. “I don’t have to make them wait anymore.”

Root puffed her chest out. “I just needed some practice.”

“Just because you sit first, doesn’t mean you get all the food,” John grumbled, spooning shells onto his plate. “It’s a good thing you eat like a bird.”

Root rolled her eyes and put food on her plate. “One of us has to. You all eat so much.”

“I’m stocking up for my growth spurt,” Lionel said around a mouthful of food.

“Me too,” Sameen agreed.

The table laughed.


	24. Her Rotating Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few of you have reached out to me on tumblr (maybesomedaysameen) to talk about the story. I encourage everyone to talk to me! I have SO MUCH information on this story and on my Bishop, enough to write an almanac!  
> 

Root reached out to tug on Sameen's ponytail. They were taking their Halloween family portrait and Root was trying to make her smile.

Sameen pulled a face just as Mrs. Reese's camera clicked. She turned to glare at Root.

"Can you not?" She growled, pulling her long hair over her shoulder.

Root grinned and shook her head. "If you'd worn the wig, we wouldn't have this problem."

"Root," Sameen gestured to herself, "look at my skin color. There is no world in which I wear a ginger wig."

"No one is going to know we're Mulder and Scully!" Root whined, pouting. "We just look like boxy, 90s lesbians."

Lionel and John chuckled next to them and the girls turned to stare at them. John choked and held his hands up.

"I think you guys look great. Love the shoulder pads."

"Yeah," Lionel snorted, "oversized suit jackets are all the rage."

"Fuck off," Sameen growled.

Mrs. Reese rolled her eyes. "Watch the language." She looked through the pictures on her camera and smiled. "I got some good ones. You are free to go."

Root hopped off the stairs and moved to Bear, who was sitting beside Mrs. Reese, holding their pillowcases in his mouth. She took them from him and passed one to Sameen when she appeared. Sameen gave Bear a pat on the head, opened the front door, and they headed outside.

Sameen reached out to hook her arm through Root's. Root let her lead them across the street, weaving through the kids running around. Root looked, but she couldn't see Zoe or Joss anywhere.

"Where are your girlfriends?" Root asked John. "I miss them."

John shrugged. "They said they were on the way. They might have stopped to pick something up."

"Like what?" Sameen asked, starting them down the sidewalk.

Again, John shrugged, walking slightly behind them. He was dressed as James Bond, wearing the suit Mrs. Reese had bought him for his 16th birthday last year. Root thought he looked nice and couldn't wait to see what Zoe and Joss were wearing.

Sameen scoffed. "You need to keep better tabs on your girls, John. I mean, my girl…Oh my god."

Root looked at her, confused, and saw her staring off passed Root's shoulder. She turned around, their arms separating, and gasped. Zoe and Joss were walking towards them. Root swallowed hard, her pulse in her throat.

Joss was dressed as Foxy Cleopatra from Austin Powers. Root had always thought Joss was pretty, in an intimidating sort of way, but now, in her revealing golden costume, Joss was stunning. Root tore her eyes away and looked at Zoe.

Zoe was almost naked. She was dressed as Jill Masterson and painted head-to-toe with glittering gold paint. Root ran her eyes down Zoe's body, stomach fluttering. Zoe spotted her and winked.

"Hey, Root. Like something you see?" Zoe asked with a smirk, swinging her hips. She stopped in front of her. "Wanna feel?"

Root let Zoe take her hand and run it across her stomach. The gold paint felt slightly rough, the glitter scrapping across Root's fingers. A hand wrapped around Root's arm and pulled her away.

"Alright," Sameen growled, "she touched it. You look great. Can we go?"

Root watched her turn on her heel and walk away. Sameen could be really abrupt sometimes, gruff and inscrutable. Maybe she was uncomfortable with nudity, but she'd never had this reaction before.

"Wow," Joss laughed, "Jealous, much?"

"It's not like that," Root rolled her eyes. "She's just being weird. Like always."

Zoe shrugged and opened the plastic bag she had in her hand. "If you say so."

Root smiled at her and headed after Sameen. She didn't want anything to make tonight weird. Root jogged up to her and linked their arms together again. Sameen glanced at her and slowed down a little.

"Where to first?" Root asked her. "Want to go down the street or just start here?"

Sameen opened her mouth to answer, but Zoe appeared next to them and cut her off.

"I got some brownies," Zoe said, holding out her plastic bag. "The pot kind. Want some?"

Root stopped walking and glanced into the Ziploc. She'd never tried pot before, but she wasn't opposed to the idea. Root knew that the effects were similar to alcohol, but pot made you more lethargic and less aware.

Sameen's hand dipped into the bag and Root watched her shove a whole brownie in her mouth. She caught Root's eye and shrugged. Root rolled her eyes and dipped her hand into the bag, pulling a brownie out.

"Don't eat it all at once," Zoe told her, glaring at Sameen. She focused on Root. "You've never been high before, right?"

Root shook her head, sniffing the brownie. It didn't smell any different that a normal brownie. She took a small bite. It didn't taste that different, either. She took a larger bite.

"How long until I feel it?" Sameen asked.

Zoe shrugged. "It depends. Probably within the hour. You guys both seem like you have fast metabolisms."

"Thanks," Sameen said and started down the street again.

Root ate the last bite of her brownie and followed after her. They passed the first couple of houses, avoiding the crowds of screaming children. When Sameen turned into Harold and Grace's yard, Root reached out and pulled her back.

"No," Root whispered, "They'll know."

"Know what?" Sameen asked, frowning.

Root looked around. Lionel had run off with some of his friends from school and John and the girls were sitting on the curb, hanging out. She turned back to Sameen.

"About the brownies," she said. "He'll know we're high."

Sameen rolled her eyes and pulled her arm away. "Root, we're not high. It's been like two minutes."

"Still," Root said, peering up at the house, nervously. "Do you think they'd fail us?"

Sameen shoved her into the yard and they started down the sidewalk. "Just act normal."

Root nodded as the front door opened. Grace smiled at them.

"Hello, girls!" She turned to call into the house. "Harold! Root and Sameen are here!"

Root shoved her hands in her suit pockets, her pillowcase balled up in her fist. "That's alright. You don't have to call him for us."

"Nonsense," Grace smiled at them. "Harold would love to see your costumes. What are you?"

"Mulder and Scully," Sameen said. "From The X-Files."

Harold appeared behind Grace. "You girls look lovely. Come in!"

Root glanced at Sameen, but followed him inside. They'd been to Harold's house before. Sometimes, he hosted BACKS meetings and, sometimes, he invited Root over to talk about birds. Root liked him a lot.

His house was ornate, pale blue walls and beige furniture. It looked almost like a museum to Root, or like someone had Googled 'what does a normal, suburban house look like?' Grace and Harold were always so kind to her.

Now, she was at his house high. They didn't know, of course, but they could probably tell. Harold would fail her and tell Principal McCarthy and she'd never work at NASA.

Sameen elbowed her in the side and gave her a stern look. "Stop freaking out. No one knows."

Root nodded and sighed. It was fine. She was only going to give herself away if she panicked. She saw Harold gesture for her to follow him into the dining room and walked across the living room. He led her towards his birdcage.

The first time Root had come here, she'd noticed this cage. It was large, almost large enough to fit a large dog, but it was delicate. Its bars were gold, less than an inch thick, and it sat on a pedestal of marble. Inside were a number of fancy birds. Looking at Harold, Root didn't think he looked rich, but things like this made her wonder.

"I got a new bird," Harold said, pointing. "Recognize it?"

Root squinted into the cage. "It looks familiar."

He grinned. "It's a Carolina Wren!"

"Like the one I found outside of town?"

"Exactly!" Harold smiled at her, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I saw an ad on Craigslist. A girl in Corpus Christi had caught it and put it up for sale. I bought it immediately."

Root laughed. It was Claire; it had to be. "That's fantastic."

Grace and Sameen walked into the room. Root looked at them and laughed. Sameen had taken an entire bowl of chocolates and was holding it in one hand, the other busy putting chocolate in her mouth. Sameen grinned at her, teeth gross.

"You're going to be sick," Root said, walking over to her and taking some candy. "You should slow down."

"No," Sameen grunted, voice muffled. "Mine."

"Why don't you girls sit for a bit?" Harold asked. He slid into a chair at the table. "I'd like to know what your winter break plans are."

They sat there for a while, talking about school and their plans. When Root told him about their road trip plans for next summer, he was very excited for them. They talked until Root's phone buzzed.

"It's John," Root said, opening the message. "They're wondering where we are."

Harold glanced at his watch. "Oh, it's been almost half an hour. You should be on your way!"

The girls nodded and stood up. Grace led them to the front door and they stepped out onto the walkway. Sameen took a handful of candy from the bowl outside the door as they started out of the yard and dropped it into her pillowcase.

"You ate their candy for 30 minutes and you're taking some for the road?" Root laughed.

Sameen shrugged, her feet shuffling on the ground. "We're out here to trick or treat. They tricked us into the house, I'm taking treats."

Root just laughed, feeling light. Luckily, it wasn't too hot. She'd been afraid that the heavy coats would be a mistake. She spotted their friends across the street as they walked out of the yard. Sameen linked their arms again and led them across the road.

"Are you going to lead me everywhere tonight?" Root asked her as they stopped in front of their friends.

Sameen rolled her eyes. "Mulder and Scully are a couple, too, right? So, it's not weird."

Root's eyebrows lowered. Was Sameen calling them a couple? No, she was talking about their costumes. It's not weird for them to walk around like this because they're dressed as a couple. Root shrugged.

"We've hit up most of the houses on the block," Lionel told them. "Do you guys want to get more candy?"

Root spoke up before Sameen could. "No, we're ok. Do you guys have a plan?"

Joss nodded. "We were going to go to Martine's party, but we wanted to check in with you first."

For a moment, Root couldn't think of a reason, other than that Martine was a bitch, but she remembered last year. Martine had kissed her and Root had come out to Sameen. Had that really been a year ago? So much had happened since then.

She looked at Sameen. "I'm fine if you are."

"Whatever," Sameen said. "I hate that bitch, but I'm fine with drinking her alcohol."

The friends laughed and started down the road towards Martine's subdivision. Sameen and Root walked arm in arm, their shoulders bumping together.

Root hadn't thought about last Halloween in a while. She'd almost forgotten about it honestly. Last year, when they took their group picture, Root had stepped out, sure that Mrs. Reese didn't consider her family. This year, she'd just found a spot on the stairs and smiled with Sameen and the boys. She felt like part of the family.

Even with all the craziness with the kissing and Tomas, Root felt good. She and Sameen had made up. They had their treehouse and clubhouse. They were together all the time. It was nice.

They got to Martine's house and Sameen pulled them to a stop. She took Root's empty pillowcase and put it into hers, then grabbed John's pillowcase and stuffed their bags inside. She handed it back to him with a smirked.

"Thanks, big brother," she said, hitting his arm with a loud smack. "Keep that safe."

She reached her hand out for Root to take and led them inside. Root laughed as they walked through the door and a wall of noise hit them. The house was packed, like it always was during a party, and the blasting music made it even more chaotic. Sameen stopped in the hallway, halfway to the kitchen, and turned to Root.

"I think I'm starting to feel it," Sameen said, running a finger down her face. "My skin feels…weird."

Root chuckled, her laugh echoing in her chest. Her eyes widened. "Oh, I think I am, too."

Someone bumped into Sameen and she stumbled forward into Root's arms. Root looked at the boy who'd bumped her and met Tomas' eyes. Her thoughts were hazy, but Root was still mad at him. She'd probably always dislike him.

Root smiled at him, as sweetly as possible, and waved. He frowned, obviously confused. When Sameen turned to look at him, he rolled his eyes and walked away.

"What's his problem?" Sameen asked, scowling. "You'd think he'd get over it."

Root sighed and looked down at Sameen, still clutching her arms. "You're a hard one to get over, Sameen."

She gasped, surprised at her boldness, but Sameen just laughed and pulled her braid over her shoulder.

"I am…abnormally attractive," she bragged.

Root laughed loudly, ignoring the looks the people around them gave her. Her eyes watered and she couldn't stop laughing. In front of her, Sameen started giggling, the sound foreign to Root. Sameen wasn't exactly the giggling type.

Root opened her eyes, watery from laughter and saw Sameen with a hand clamped over her mouth, giggles escaping from between her fingers. The panicked look on Sameen's face was hilarious and Root launched into another fit of laughter. Sameen was obviously horrified at herself.

Sameen pulled herself together before Root did. She took Root's hand in her own and pushed through the crowd to the kitchen. They stopped in front of the large island. Sameen pulled her hand out of Root's and Root marveled at the way Sameen's skin brushing against her own left tingling trails.

Sameen looked through the mess in the kitchen and found a stack of tiny, shot-glass sized red solo cups. She pulled out a handful and spread them around the island. Root moved to stand across from her and pulled two cups towards herself. She'd wanted to drink, but she didn't want to get drunk.

She wasn't worried about turning into an alcoholic like her mother, not really, but Martine's mean comments still lingered with her. Root knew what drinking could do to a person and she was determined to avoid that future. She deserved to have a little fun, sometimes, though.

"Ah-Ha!" Sameen cheered, pulling a bottle of Tequila from behind a bag of chips. She turned back to the island and poured Root's two cups and four for herself. "Ok, let's drink!"

Root reached for a cup, but hesitated. "I don't know…"

"What's wrong?" Sameen asked, hips swaying in time to the music. "Drink!"

"Every time I drink, I end up trying to make-out with someone and vomiting," Root sighed.

Sameen leaned forward, her stomach pressing against the island. The buttons on the front of her shirt, strained apart at the pressure. Root's eyes widened as she caught a glimpse of Sameen's skin. She'd watched Sameen get dressed earlier and knew that Sameen was wearing a nude bra that made her tanned skin glow.

"Root," Sameen said, pulling Root's attention to her face, "just don't try to make out with anyone."

Root pouted. "But I like kissing girls."

Sameen laughed and picked up one of Root's shot glasses, forcing it into her hand. "I'm sure we'll figure something out."

They knocked their glasses together and took the shot. Root winced as the alcohol burned her throat. She'd never had hard liquor before and she wondered if the weird sensation was because she was high and she could feel every inch of her skin, or if alcohol always hurt like this.

She took the second shot and bounced on her toes, shaking her head. Maybe she'd stick to beer in the future. Root opened her eyes and watched Sameen take her other two shots. Sameen didn't seem to be having any trouble with the Tequila.

"I think four shots at once is a lot…" Root frowned. "Maybe you should eat something."

"I ate a brownie!" Sameen rolled her eyes. "It'll be fine. I've seen people do this on TV and they're fine."

Root thought that maybe TV wasn't the best way to learn about how to drink liquor, but she didn't say anything. Samee had already had the shots after all. She nodded.

"Ok!" Sameen said, "let's dance!"

She took Root's hand again and they wound their way into the living room. Unlike last year, all the furniture had been moved against the wall and there was plenty of room to dance around. Sameen dragged them to the middle of the dance floor.

Root watched as Sameen jumped in time with the pop song blasting through the speakers. Root didn't think Sameen was someone who liked to dance, but apparently, with a little help, she was. Root laughed and started jumping along, her long arms moving of their own accord.

Sameen reached forward and took Root's hands, shaking her shoulders and forcing Root's to shake, too.

"Loosen up!" Sameen ordered, managing to look tough despite the flush in her cheeks. "Close your eyes!"

Root laughed and closed her eyes, almost immediately losing her balance. Her already unsteady feet tripped over themselves and she stumbled backwards, slamming into someone. Root peeked over her shoulder to apologize and saw that she'd bumped into Lambert.

Root opened her mouth, but lost focus as Sameen's hands ran up her arms and settled on her shoulders. Sameen used Root's shoulders as leverage to push up on her toes and stare at Lambert. Their bodies brushed together, Sameen's warmth heating Root's skin despite the layers of clothing between them. Sameen grinned at Lambert.

"Hey! I work for your dad!"

Lambert rolled his eyes and nodded. "I know. I'm in the shop all the time."

Sameen sighed. "Your dad is really hot. What happened to you?"

Root snorted, dissolving into a fit of laughter, and Sameen dropped her head to giggle into Root's neck. They clung to each other, laughing and gasping for breath.

"That was so mean," Root breathed, wrapping her arms around Sameen's waist. "You're so mean sometimes."

Sameen shrugged against her and pulled away enough to look at Root's face. "I call it like I see it."

Root chuckled as Sameen started moving to the beat again, her hands still on Root's shoulders. Root wanted to kiss Sameen, right here on the dance floor. She wondered if the odd, lingering way Sameen's touches on her skin felt right now would affect the way their kisses felt.

"Wow," Martine said, appearing beside them, "you guys are unusually bold tonight."

"Hey, Martine," Root said, smirking, "your mom is really hot. What happened to you?"

Sameen snorted loudly, the sound catching in her nose. She doubled over, hands clutching her stomach, howling with laughter. Root chuckled, looking down at her, barely aware of Martine walking away. She'd never seen Sameen like this before. It was surreal.

"Oh my god," Sameen gasped, straightening up, "her face! She looked so mad!"

Root put her hands on her hips, proudly jutting out her chest. "You're not the only bitch around here, Sameen Shaw!"

Sameen punched her lightly in the arm, her eyes watery from laughter. "Who you calling a bitch?"

"Hmm," Root said thoughtfully, tapping her chin, "you."

Sameen sighed, finally getting herself under control. She ran a hand over her face. "Does your skin feel weird?"

"Yeah," Root nodded, smoothing her hands over her stomach, "Like…static electricity."

Sameen nodded. "Exactly. Mine, too. I feel…nice."

"Nice?" Root chuckled, lazily swaying in time with the music. "What do you mean?"

"I feel…" Sameen frowned, looking adorable as she concentrated. "I feel…empty, but in a good way? Not empty like I normally do, but…"

Root grinned. "Relaxed? Do you feel relaxed?"

"I guess?" Sameen shrugged. The song changed and she bounced on her toes, her head swinging. "Whatever it is, it's great!"

Root watched her dance around. "I like this! I don't think I could do it all the time, but it's fun!"

Sameen nodded, still bouncing. She suddenly gasped and reached out to grab Root's arms, shaking her. "Let's make out!"

Root's head jerked back in surprised. "What?"

"To see what it feels like! Because we're so tingly!" Sameen shouted over the music.

She took Root's hand and led her across the living room. Sameen turned into the hallway and pushed open the bathroom door, pulling Root inside. Sameen moved further into the room as Root closed the door.

Root's rational brain was freaking out, trying to come up with a reason for this, but her inebriated brain, the one currently controlling her body, was thrilled. She leaned back against the doorframe, her eyes fluttering of their own accord. The odd tingle of her skin making her shiver in the air-conditioning.

Sameen looked at her through hooded eyes and shrugged. "I'm drunk, you're drunk. I'm high, you're high. It's not weird."

"Nope," Root said, trying to pop to P, but her mouth failed her. "Kissing is totally normal."

"Right," Sameen said, stepping forward. "Kissing is fun and my skin feels so soft. I'm really tired."

Root blinked, confused at the sudden change of topic. She watched Sameen stifle a yawn, looking around the room, and realized that her window was rapidly closing.

Root lunged forward, wrapping her fingers around the lapel of Sameen's suit jacket, and yanking their bodies together. Sameen's hands slammed into the door on either side of Root's body. Root crushed their mouths together.

Sameen's mouth was as soft as Root remembered. Hot and wet and sweet. Sameen tasted like chocolate. Root opened her mouth, her lips grazing Sameen's and she felt like she was on fire. She sucked Sameen's lower lip between hers, her teeth biting lightly.

Sameen drew a sharp breath in through her nose and pushed herself onto her toes, their bodies flush against each other. Root felt Sameen's hands behind her back, pulling her shirt out of her pants, and then Sameen's hot hands on her slick skin pushed them even closer together.

Root couldn't concentrate. She felt overwhelmed, like she was drowning in Sameen and every inch of her was sweating. Root slipped her hands up Sameen's neck, one cupping her face, the other reaching back to grasp Sameen's ponytail.

Root tugged, yanking Sameen's head back and latching her mouth onto her neck. She could hear Sameen panting in her ear as she tried to take deep breaths.

Sameen pulled away abruptly and Root felt cold. She pushed her hair from her face, heart beating out of her chest, and tried to focus. Sameen looked worried, her face drawn down.

"What? Are you ok?" Root asked through shaky breaths. "What's wrong?"

Sameen's throat clenched and she turned, dropping to her knees and lifting the lid on the toilet just in time. Root watched her vomit and slid down the door onto the floor. She laughed dryly, still hazy. Part of her was glad that she wasn't the one throwing up this time. The rest of her was upset that kissing was out of the question for the rest of the night.

Root could feel herself panicking slightly as Sameen leaned back against the bathtub, wiping her face. The last time they'd made out, Sameen had run away. Root wasn't really worried about that this time, but she still didn't think she'd bring this up later. Maybe if it happened again, she'd say something.

Root sighed and reached over her head for the doorknob. She hauled herself to her feet and crossed the small bathroom to Sameen.

"Come on," she sighed, reaching down to slide her hands under Sameen's arms and lift her to her feet, stumbling slightly. "Let's go home."

"I don't feel good," Sameen grumbled, letting Root lead her out of the bathroom. "Let's go home."

Root chuckled and pulled her closer.


	25. This Sweet Love

Root put a hand on the banister to help her balance as she lifted her foot. She slipped her heel on and straightened up. She was waiting for her mom to finish getting ready so they could head to Mrs. Reese’s Thanksgiving dinner.

Last year, Root’s mother had thought it was her birthday and she’d stolen a bottle of bourbon. Now, Root was glad her mother was doing better and Root was bringing her along.

“Mom!” Root called up the stairs. “Are you ready? Sameen will be here any minute!”

Her mom appeared at the top of the stairs in jeans and a T-shirt. Root sighed. She’d hoped her mother would dress up like everyone else, but at least she looked presentable.

A car honked outside as Root’s mom started down the stairs. Root headed for the front door.

“I’ll meet you outside,” she said, taking her sweater off the hook and going outside. She hopped off the porch and hurried to John’s car, pulling on her sweater. She laughed as Sameen rolled down the window. “Hey, hot stuff. It’s a getting a little dark for sunglasses.”

Sameen reached up to lower her sunglasses and glared at Root. “I hate this dress. Mrs. Reese forced it on me.”

Root peeked into the window to see Sameen wearing a cute, dark red dress. She looked nice and Root was impressed she could drive in those heels. Root self-consciously ran a hand over the front of her own dress. It was new, she’d bought it with her own money a few weeks ago, and it felt a little too fancy, especially next to her mother.

Sameen noticed her face and lifted her sunglasses to the top of her head. “You look great, Root. You’ve never worn that before, right? I would have noticed.”

Root blushed and turned away. She spotted her mom coming down the walkway and smiled, tense. The car doors unlocked behind her.

“Do you want the front seat?” Root asked her mom.

“That’s alright,” her mother said, reaching for the back door. “Sit with your friend.”

Root nodded and walked around the front of the car, pulled open the passenger door, and slide in. She buckled her seatbelt as Sameen pulled into the street.

They rode along in silence for a while. Root hadn’t been able to figure out if her mother remembered Sameen from Championships last year. Root talked about her, but her mother had never brought it up. Root had kept them apart as much as possible.

“So,” her mother started, “how are your classes going, Sameen?”

Sameen glanced at Root and shrugged. “They’re going well, Mrs. Groves. Root and I are fighting for top of our class.”

“That’s great,” she smiled, folding her hands in her lap. Root noticed for the first time how small she looked. “Do you work at the ice cream store, too?”

“No,” Sameen answered, clicking her turn signal on, “I work at Lambert’s.”

“I’m sure you meet a lot of young men there. Maybe Sam should hang out there and meet someone.”

Root rolled her eyes and turned away to look out the window. Her mother was so determined to see Root as straight. There were plenty of things to talk about without bringing up boys. At least, Root supposed, her mother hadn’t asked if they were dating. God knows how she’d answer that.

Sameen’s face drew down, her fingers tightening on the wheel, but she answered politely. “Yes, boys are always wrecking their cars.”

Root’s mother laughed. “That’s true. Is this your car?”

“That’s enough questions,” Root said sharply.

“It’s alright,” Sameen said quietly, turning onto her street. “No, this is my brother John’s car. I’m not 16 yet, but Mrs. Reese lets me drive it around town to practice.”

They stopped in front of the house and Root quickly unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of the car. She slammed the door a little harder than she meant to. Taking a deep breath, she ran her hands over her dress again. Sameen stepped around the car and put a hand on her shoulder.

“You ok?” she asked, running her hand soothingly down Root’s arm.

Root nodded and started walking to the front door. “Yeah,” she said, “I’m ok. Just tired.”

“It’s only going to get worse,” Sameen snorted, hopping up the stairs with ease, despite her fancy shoes. “Marla is here.”

Root groaned as Sameen turned her head and revealed a large lipstick kiss on her cheek. Root unlocked to front door and led them into the house. “Not Aunty Marla. Her hugs are crushing.”

“You have a key?” her mother asked confused. “Why?”

“Mrs. Reese let me keep it even after you came back. I’m over here all the time.”

Her mother nodded, still frowning. Mrs. Reese appeared in front of them.

“Hello!” she greeted them cheerfully. “Girls, the other children are in the living room. Why don’t you join them?”

Root nodded and followed Sameen down the hall. She stopped in the doorway to glance over her shoulder at her mother. Someone offered her a glass of wine, but Root watched her mother decline, shaking her head politely.

Root smiled and turned to join her friends. Maybe this wouldn’t be a terrible night after all.

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Root stretched her arms in front of her as she stumbled across the yard. John stepped along behind her, his hands covering her eyes. They were headed to the driveway to open Root’s birthday present from Mrs. Reese. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she was excited.

“Oh man!” Sameen said next to her, sounding impressed. “I want one. Mrs. Reese, can I get one?”

Mrs. Reese chuckled to Root’s left. “Your birthday is soon. Who knows what you’re going to get.”

Root laughed and reached to the side, her fingers brushing against Sameen’s shoulder. “Are you talking about my birthday present? What is it?”

John pulled Root to a stop and dropped his hands. Root gasped. In front of her was a shiny, black Vespa Scooter. It was beautiful with a tan leather seat and shiny silver mirrors. Root turned to look at Mrs. Reese, her eyes welling up.

“I can’t accept this,” she whispered. “I don’t deserve it.”

Mrs. Reese smiled and walked towards her. She put her hands on Root’s shoulder. “Honey, you’re my fourth child. You deserve this and more.”

Root nodded and flung herself at Mrs. Reese, wrapping her arms around her waist as tears rolled down her face. “Thank you so much.”

Root pulled away and wiped her face, stepping towards the bike. It was tall, almost to her chest. She sniffled once, looking around.

“Can I ride it now? Do I need a helmet?” she asked.

Lionel stepped forward and held two helmets out, one black and one dark blue. “We got two. Figured pipsqueak here would need her own.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and snatched the black helmet from his hand. “You better watch it. We have wheels now. I could run your ass over.”

“Language,” Mrs. Reese chuckled. She smiled at Root. “Take it for a spin. Remember we’re having dinner with your mother later.”

Root grinned and took the second helmet from Lionel. She put it on, snapping it shut. She ran a hand reverently over the seat.

“Oh!” Sameen snorted. “Wait a second.”

Root watched her turn and run into the house, shoving the helmet onto her head. Shrugging, Root put her hands on the grip and swung a leg over. She was thrilled to have a motor scooter. Now it wouldn’t take 45 minutes to get to school in the morning and she could be at Sameen’s in no time. She checked the mirrors.

They’d gone to the DMV earlier so Root could take her driving test and get her license. She’d passed with a perfect score and she looked great in her license photo. No one but Sameen knew she’d practiced taking pictures until midnight the day before.

Root heard the front door close and looked to see Sameen running across the yard towards them carrying Root’s leather jacket. She handed it to Root and buckled her helmet as Root slid it on.

“Can’t go around driving motor scooters without looking cool,” Sameen said as she threw her leg over the bike and sat behind Root. She scooted forward until they were pressed together. “I can only be seen with cool kids.”

“Then you picked the wrong best friend,” Root joked, kicking up the kickstand and straightening the bike. She posed as Mrs. Reese snapped a picture. “Here we go!”

Root turned the key in the ignition and pressed her foot to the pedal, launching them forward into the street. Sameen’s arms reached around to hold Root’s stomach. Root smiled as Sameen turned her head and laid it against Root’s back.

She shifted gears, racing through Bishop towards the edge of town. It was still an hour or so until sundown and they had plenty of time to ride around the open country and make it back in time for dinner. The window whistled against Root’s helmet and she felt light, like she could drive for hours.

When Root was younger, before she’d met Hanna, she’d been so nervous all the time. Her mother had just started drinking and her father was always away on business. Root used to sit in her room and look out the window at the stars, wondering what was out there and if she’d ever get a chance to find out.

They blew passed the town sign that read ‘Thanks for Visiting!’ and headed out into the fading light. Root felt wild, the rumbling of the Vespa beneath her and the strong arms wrapped around her body warming her core.

Root had never felt carefree. She’d never been able to really relax or enjoy herself. She was so nervous sometimes about her future, her mother, her feelings. Root had found an old cassette tape in a Goodwill a few years ago, and it had explained a method for compartmentalizing. Put your anger in this jar, your worry in another.

It had worked for a while, Root telling herself that she could keep a lid on everything, but recently, since she met Sameen, it was harder and harder to keep it inside. Sameen’s hands shifted to Root’s hips and she leaned to the side, peeking around Root at the countryside. Root could feel Sameen’s legs against her own, could imagine her long ponytail flowing behind her.

She didn’t know what they were or where they were headed, but she knew that Sameen was permanent. The way Sameen’s thumbs slipped under her shirt to brush the skin just above her shorts was permanent. The smile that found its way across her face whenever Sameen rolled her eyes was permanent.

The sky had darkened, red and orange making the clouds glow. Root turned her lights on and pushed her handle down to switch her left turn signal on. She heard Sameen scoff behind her; there was no one around to see the turn signal.

Root turned down the dirt path to the hill. She stuck a foot out, letting her sneakers brush across the rocky ground as she pressed the brakes and brought them to a stop. She kicked out the stand as Sameen hopped off the bike and took her helmet off.

“I like this bike,” Sameen said, looking it over and patting her hair down. “I can take a look at it in the shop, if you want? See if I can make some improvements?”

Root shrugged and unbuckled her helmet, hanging it from the handlebars. She felt extremely cool, being 16, wearing a leather jacket, and casually sitting on a motorbike. She grinned at Sameen.

“Do your worst.”

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Sameen leaned back on her hands and looked up at the stars. They were on the roof of the treehouse, the sounds of the boys playing football in the yard below floating up to them. The second they’d finished opening Christmas presents from various relatives, they’d raced outside and up the tree to avoid any more socializing.

Sameen hated the holidays. They were fun, and the presents were good, but it was just too much all jammed together. She didn’t have the energy. At least this part was nice.

Sameen turned her head to look at Root and smiled slightly. Root had her eyes fixed on the sky, her mouth moving slightly as she named constellations. Sameen leaned forward to take her heels off.

“I’m glad we can see Orion again,” Sameen commented, throwing her shoes off the side of the treehouse.

Root smiled at her. “Me too. He points to the future.”

“You said that last year,” Sameen scoffed. “Get some original material.”

Root watched her with an odd expression. Sameen shifted uncomfortably. Root had been looking at her like that more and more recently. Sameen didn’t know what it meant, but she had a feeling she’d find out soon enough. She turned to look back at the stars.

She and Root hadn’t talked about their kiss on Halloween. Sameen thought she wanted to, but she didn’t know what good it would do. If Root wanted to kiss again…Well, she knew where to find her. Sameen bounced her feet idly against the wooden boards.

“Are you going to come to Championships again?” Sameen asked. “I know it’s still months away and we haven’t qualified yet.”

“Of course,” Root smiled. “With you on the team, we’re sure to get another gold medal.”

“It’s not medals,” Sameen rolled her eyes, “but I get your point.”

Root scratched her arm. “I wish I could compete this year. On the Science Bowl Team.”

“Next year, right?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Mr. Ingram tried to get Control to let me join this year, but she said it was against the rules and could disqualify our school altogether. So, next year. For sure.”

Sameen sighed and took off her cardigan. “I swear to God, I’m going to college somewhere it snows.”

Sameen’s hands got stuck in the sweater and trapped her arms behind her. Root laughed and reached over to free her, her fingers lingering on Sameen’s. Sameen coughed and threw her sweater off the treehouse to land near her shoes.

“I forgot,” Sameen mumbled, reaching into her dress pocket and pulling out a small envelope. “Here’s your gift.”

Root frowned and took it from her. “I left yours in your room. I thought we’d do it later.”

Sameen shrugged. “Just open it.”

She watched as Root delicately tore off the edge of the envelope and pulled out two tickets. Sameen had bought them tickets to the Dallas Symphony Orchestra. There had only been one concert on Valentine’s Day, so Sameen didn’t even have to do that much research.

Root stared down at the tickets in her hands for a long time. Sameen scratched her ear.

“Um, Root?” Sameen asked when the silence had gotten unbearable. “Do you like them? I just picked a place. We could find a different – “

Root leaned forward quickly and kissed Sameen, her hand resting lightly on Sameen’s waist. Sameen tensed, surprised. Before she could relax into it, Root pulled away and dropped her head onto Sameen’s shoulders.

“Thank you,” Root whispered into Sameen’s neck. “I love it.”

Sameen sighed, relaxing slightly. “I’m glad.”

Root pulled away, shifting to sit up, her knees bent in front of her. She fixed her eyes onto the stars. Sameen ran her eyes over Root, taking in her clenched jaw and the way her feet bounced nervously.

“Now I know why Mrs. Reese gave me that fancy dress,” Root chuckled, reaching up to tie her hair in a ponytail. “My mom gave me a bible.”

Sameen smirked. “I may have told her my plan. Mrs. Reese,” she clarified, “not your mom.”

Root exhaled loudly, putting her hands on her knees. “You talk a tough game, Sameen, but you’re a softy.”

“I am not a softy,” Sameen scowled. “That’s ridiculous.”

“I’m just saying,” Root shrugged, “you remember almost everything I say and you buy me cool things.”

Sameen shifted to closer to Root and they looked up at the stars for a few minutes.

“I like seeing you happy,” Sameen said softly. “It’s nice.”

She didn’t look at Root, hating how vulnerable she felt. She swallowed and reached out, sliding her hand under Root’s and pulling it down to the roof. She curled her fingers through Root’s. Root drew a shaky breath, her body betraying her, and closed her hand around Sameen’s. They held hands and watched the sky until Mrs. Reese told them it was time for bed.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root ran her hand along Sameen’s leg as she watched some band perform on the TV. Sameen was slumped against the arm of the couch, her legs across Root’s lap, and her torso twisted to see the screen. She glanced over at Root and rolled her eyes.

“Can you turn it up?” she scowled. “These losers can’t appreciate good music.”

Root chuckled and picked up the remote. They were at Martine’s again, if only because she was the only person their age that threw New Year’s Eve parties. Luckily, she seemed to be avoiding them. She turned the volume up and squinted at the screen to read the band’s name. ‘My Chemical Romance.’ Root laughed loudly.

“Sameen,” she gasped, “you like My Chemical Romance?”

Sameen slowly turned to glare at Root. “You listen to that touchy-feely crap, but when I listen to music, good music, about anger and hating children, I’m the weird one?”

Root held her hands up, biting her lip. Of course Sameen liked MCR because they were angry. Root listened to their music on occasion and she was going to say so, but now Sameen was all worked up.

“I’m not going to judge you,” she shook her head. “You can hate other children all you want.”

Sameen growled and turned away, rolling onto her stomach. Root smiled and started running her hands over the Sameen’s legs again. For someone so short, Sameen had long legs. They were muscular. Even when she was lying down, Sameen’s legs were rock solid.

Root ran her eyes up Sameen’s legs. Sameen’s had a nice butt, too. Root wondered what Sameen would do if she reached out and laid a hand on it. She giggled to herself.

Root reached up to lightly tug on Sameen’s ponytail. Sameen glanced back at her, still annoyed.

“Are we kissing at Midnight?” Root asked, shrugging nonchalantly. “Like last, uh, year?”

She’d almost said ‘like last week?’ Root had been so overwhelmed by the orchestra tickets that she’d let her guard down and kissed Sameen. It was all she could think about now. Sameen hadn’t run away, though. She’d taken Root’s hand and they’d gone to bed like normal.

“Yeah,” Sameen said, turning back to the tv. “Of course.”

Root grinned at the back of Sameen’s head. The countdown started and Sameen sat up, dropping her feet to the ground. Root scooted towards her eagerly. Sameen’s hand came up to brush Root’s hair out of her face, her fingertips hot against Root’s cheek, and her eyes dropped to Root’s lips.

The more they kissed, the harder it was for Root to believe that Sameen didn’t like her. Sameen didn’t look at anyone else like this, like she cared about them. Even when Sameen was dating Tomas, she seemed to hate being close with him. Sameen had let Root kiss her, had held Root’s hand.

Root was only dimly aware of the kids around them shouting ‘Happy New Year’ as she leaned her face into Sameen’s. Their lips brushed lightly, Root hesitant to push too far, and she felt Sameen sigh against her. The couch shifted and Sameen pressed her lips harder against Root’s, her hand holding Root’s head in place.

“Check out the dykes!”

Sameen’s weight was gone from Root in an instant. Root opened her eyes to see Sameen’s hands fisted in Hersch’s jacket. She yanked him down to her height and growled in his face, her teeth bared.

“You call her that again and I’ll fucking kill you,” Sameen threatened, looking menacing despite her small size.

John appeared out of the crowd and pulled her away. Root couldn’t focus on what happened next, how Zoe and Joss appeared and they all walked home. Sameen’s words repeated on a loop in her head.

‘You call her that again.’ She didn’t say ‘You call us that again.’ Root kicked herself as she followed Sameen upstairs to the bedroom, as she showered, as they fell asleep. Sameen wasn’t a lesbian. Sameen couldn’t like her like that. It wasn’t like that.

Root stared up at the ceiling in the dark, feeling hollow. She was so close. For a moment, as Root let a tear roll down her cheek, invisible in the dark, she let herself be angry at Sameen. She couldn’t do this forever, couldn’t go back and forth between friends and more, friends and nothing. Something had to give.

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“Holy shit! No fucking way!” Sameen shouted jumping in the air. She ran across the front yard and slammed into the side of the car. “You bought me a 1982 Esquire!”

Root stood on the front porch and watched Sameen stare into the window of the long car Mrs. Reese had bought her for her birthday. Sameen had gotten her license earlier that day, not with a perfect score like Root, but she passed, and now they were looking at her car.

It was long and white with wooden paneling on the sides. Root knew that the back seat, a bucket seat, folded down all the way. Maybe they could put a bed back there. She’d helped Mrs. Reese pick the car by stealing Sameen’s List of Best Cars back in November.

Mrs. Reese handed Root the keys, laughing. “I’d correct her language, but it doesn’t seem to be doing any good.”

Root gave a short laugh and walked down the steps. She headed for Sameen who was running around the car, pointing things out to Lionel and John. Root wished she felt more like celebrating, but the last couple of weeks had been hard. She’d pulled away from Sameen a little bit, trying to get herself under control. She couldn’t have feelings for Sameen forever.

“Hey,” she said, getting Sameen’s attention. She held up the keys. “Wanna go for a drive?”

Sameen’s face lit up and she slid over the hood of the car, landing her feet in front of Root. She snatched the keys from her hands and unlocked the car, dropping down onto the large, white leather seats. Sameen winced.

“The leather is really hot on my legs,” she frowned, peeling her thighs from the seat with loud squelches. “I guess I better get some seat covers before our trip.”

Root watched her start the car and pull her seatbelt on. Sameen looked over at her as she pulled her sunglasses out of her shirt pocket.

“You coming?” Sameen asked, unfolding the glasses and putting them on her face.

Root nodded and walked around the car. She pulled the door handle, stumbling when the door didn’t open. Sameen reached across the car, her fingertips just brushing the lock on the door. Root laughed. Sameen wasn’t tall enough to unlock the car.

Sameen rolled her eyes and unbuckled her seatbelt. She scooted against the armrests and unlocked the car. Root pulled the door open.

“No short jokes,” Sameen warned her as she buckled in again. She pulled her door shut. “If I see you adjust your seat for more leg space, the trip is off.”

Root laughed, enjoying herself despite her grumpy mood. She buckled in, kicked off her sneakers, and put her feet up on the dashboard. Sameen waved to Mrs. Reese and shifted into 1st gear. They rolled out of the driveway onto the street, heading out of town.

“Where do you want to go?” Sameen asked. “The hill?”

“No,” Root said, putting her feet down and wiggling her butt in the seat. “Wanna go to the DQ in Corpus?”

Sameen nodded and hit the gas, racing passed city limits. They drove for a while, idly chatting about school and the presents they got. Sameen still wouldn’t tell Root what John had gotten her. Eventually, Sameen turned on the radio and Root took her seatbelt off.

She rolled down her window, the old hand crank harder than she expected. With a groan, she got the window all the way down. Root put her hands on the door and lifted herself out the window, the wind whipping through her hair. She looked up at the sky, moving her knee to balance against the door.

The sky had darkened since they’d left home, the heavy air smelling like rain. A few droplets fell and hit Root in the face, feeling sharp like ice. Root lifted her arms into the air and screamed, the empty countryside swallowing her voice.

Sameen’s hand hooked into the back of her shorts. Root put her arms back down and ducked her head to look into the car. Sameen was watching the road, but she glanced at Root quickly.

“I don’t need you dying,” Sameen joked. “I spent a lot of money on those orchestra tickets.”

Root laughed and slid onto the seat. She looked over her shoulder at the back. Root climbed over the armrests between the seats. The large, leather bucket seat was nice, almost wide enough across for Root to lay down. Root leaned forward to check out the trunk space, sticking her arms over the seat. She started to climb over when Sameen hit a bump, knocking her into the back.

“Sorry,” Sameen apologized. “Didn’t see the bump.”

Root rolled over. “I’m fine,” she called to the front, staring at the roof of the car. “I shouldn’t have stuck my butt out, it’s so distracting.”

Sameen’s laugh floated back to her and she sat up. Even with the backseat still vertical, there was a lot of space down here. They could definitely fit a queen mattress in with the seats down. Root leaned forward and rested her arms on the leather.

“We should put a bed back here. It would help with camping and stuff,” Root suggested.

“Alright,” Sameen shrugged. “We’d save some money like that.”

Root nodded and started climbing over the backseat again. For once, she was thankful she was so skinny, there was barely any room between the seat tops and the ceiling. She dropped into the backseat with a sharp breath.

“Hey, Root?” Sameen said, sounding odd.

Root frowned, her eyebrows dropping down. “Yeah?”

“I need to tell you something,” she said, clicking on her turn signal and turning onto the road into Corpus Christi. “It’s…important, I guess.”

Root’s heart skipped a beat. Sameen sounded nervous and that scared Root more than anything. She licked her lips.

“What is it?”

Sameen took her sunglasses off and looked at her through the rearview mirror. “You know…that I like girls, right?”

Sameen looked back at the road, but Root stared into the rearview, her heart loud in her ears. Sameen liked girls.

“You like girls? As…For dating?”

Sameen laughed, shaking her head. “Yes, Root. For dating.”

“But,” Root rubbed her hands together, her palms sweating, “but you liked Tomas.”

“Ok, first of all,” Sameen said, holding up a finger, “I didn’t like Tomas. I just thought he was pretty. Second of all,” she turned into the Dairy Queen parking lot, the car rattling over the gravel, “I like both. I’m bisexual.”

Root closed her eyes and the car jerked into neutral. She heard the parking brake click. Sameen liked girls. Romantically. Sameen liked girls. Why had bisexuality not occurred to her? Root cursed herself in her head. She wasn’t crazy. Sameen liked girls.

“Root?”

Root opened her eyes. Sameen had turned around in her seat and was staring at her, her face neutral. Root smiled. Sameen was so predictable. It took her who knows how long to work up the courage to tell Root she liked girls and then, when Root doesn’t immediately say she’s ok, she shuts down.

“That’s great, Sameen,” Root said. “I’m really glad you told me.”

Sameen nodded sharply and unbuckled her seatbelt. Root leaned forward as Sameen opened the door.

“Wait, uh,” Root hesitated as Sameen turned to look at her, “Did you, uh, do you like someone?”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Yes. I like someone. Obviously.”

She stepped out into the parking lot. Root laughed and wiped her hands across her face. Sameen was infuriating sometimes. All the time. The knot in Root’s chest relaxed and she took a deep breath, sliding to the edge of the seat and pushing open the door.

Sameen was waiting for her by the DQ entrance. She held her hand out as Root walked closer. Grinning, Root took it and they walked inside, the sky opening and rain falling down. They were going to be here for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just like last time, a list of gifts:
> 
> Root's Birthday  
> From Sameen: "The Essential Dykes to Watch Out For" by Alison Bechdel  
> From John: The Complete set of The L Words DVDS (Zoe and Joss' idea)  
> From Lionel: A kit to build a robot dog  
> From Her Mom: A super frilly church dress  
> From Mrs. Reese: A Vespa  
> http://www.vespa.com/dam/jcr:684ab1b7-1c67-468c-936c-b832d84c317a/E4-gts-300-4v-grey-06.png
> 
> Christmas  
> To Root  
> From Sameen: Two tickets to the Dallas Symphony Orchestra on Valentine's Day.  
> From John: A Sephora Gift Card  
> From Lionel: Alien and Ghost stickers for her Vespa (and Sameen's car)  
> From her Mom: A fancy bible  
> From Mrs. Reese: A Fancy dress for the Symphony
> 
> To Sameen:  
> From Root: A shirt that says "Girls don't like boys, Girls like Heavy Metal"  
> From John: "Bisexuality for Dummies" (He told her to open it alone)  
> From Lionel: A personalized step-stool  
> From Mrs. Reese: A hula girl bobblehead ("You'll get it later")
> 
> To John:  
> From Root: The Polyamory Kama Sutra  
> From Sameen: Gift Card to Alan's Sex Imporium  
> From Lionel: Sign to hang on their bedroom door that says "Don't Enter: I've got my hands full"  
> From Mrs. Reese: 2 SAT prep books and 3 tickets to DisneyWorld
> 
> To Lionel:  
> From Root: A Book called "A complete guide to high school (and getting babes!)"  
> From Sameen: The same personalized step-stool  
> From John: Earplugs and an eye mask  
> From Mrs. Reese: Tickets to a Mets Game in Dallas
> 
> To Mrs. Reese:  
> From All: Go to Sears and take family photos in dumb, matching sweaters.
> 
> To Root's Mom:  
> From Root: Several PFLAG books
> 
> Shaw's Birthday  
> From Root: Matching rings (GAY)  
> From John: A hand-painted map of Iran ("Not from me, from a professional...on Etsy")  
> From Mrs. Reese: A 1982 Ford Country Esquire  
> https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/63/1982_country_squire_frontright.jpg


	26. Must Have Done Something Right

Sameen and Root stared up at the Concert Center, admiring it. Sameen glanced over at Root, trying to gauge how she felt. Sameen had seen nice buildings before. She used to travel a lot when she was younger and her parents always made sure she experienced the area’s culture. This building was nice, but it had nothing on Prague.

Root looked like she was in shock, her eyes wide and mouth slightly open. Sameen frowned, wondering why Root was so impressed. She remembered Root’s history. She was poor, so poor she had to steal from her mother. Root had probably never seen a place like this before, never worn a dress as nice as the one she was wearing.

Sameen swallowed hard, something she didn’t recognize making her stomach clench. She wanted Root to experience everything. She wanted Root to have anything she’d ever wanted. Sameen would drop out of school right now and work full time if it meant Root could go to a good college. Root worked so hard for everything and got so little in return.

Sameen reached out to take Root’s hand, getting Root’s attention. She smiled up at her.

“You look stunning,” Sameen said quietly, trying her best to look as sincere as possible.

Root laughed and rolled her eyes. She wiped her face with her free hand, carefully trying not to smudge her make-up. “You, too. Like a princess.”

Sameen chuckled. “No one has ever called me a princess before. Come on, let’s go inside.”

They gathered the bottom of their gowns, Root adjusting the way her purse’s chain hung on her shoulder, and walked up the steps into the Concert Center. The lobby was huge, all white marble and giant glass windows. Sameen admired the way the chandeliers made the glass pins in Root’s hair sparkle. Her hair was up in a bun, her long, delicate neck bare.

Sameen ran her eyes down Root’s back. The dark, wine red of her sleeveless gown accentuating Root’s pale skin. Root raised an arm, the muscles in her back rippling.

“Look,” Root said, pointing up at the painted ceiling, “isn’t it beautiful?”

“Yes,” Sameen murmured, looking up at Root’s face, “it is.”

Root glanced back at her and smiled. They walked around the lobby, moving towards the doors into the space. They still had a bit until the doors would open. Sameen hadn’t wanted to be late. Root led them to a tall table and they leaned against it. Root put her purse on the table and slid the gold chain off her shoulder.

Sameen looked up at the painting on the ceiling. It was a picture of space, although the snooty people here would probably call it The Cosmos or something dumb.

“It’s like fate,” Root said wistfully. “I wonder who painted it?”

“I don’t know,” Sameen shrugged. “We can look it up later, though. They might sell postcards here. I can get you one.”

Root grinned at her and nodded. Sameen smiled to herself. Root kept looking around the lobby, like she was trying to memorize everything. Her arm stretched out.

Sameen looked at Root’s hand, the nails shinning with a fresh coat of black paint. Root had bought them matching rings for Sameen’s birthday and they wore them every day. Sameen twisted hers around her finger. If anyone had told her she’d be ok with doing something as sappy as wearing matching rings, she would have punched them, but here she was, wearing Root’s ring and not feeling weird. That made her feel weird.

Sameen leaned on the table and let her gaze drift up Root’s arm and land on her collarbones. Root had borrowed the HAM Radio necklace she’d given Sameen last year. Neither of them really wore jewelry and Sameen’s dress was cut high across the neck, so she didn’t want to wear a necklace. It looked good on Root, the arrow hanging just above the top of her dress.

Sameen’s eyes lingered on the necklace before dropping down. Root was so thin that they’d had to buy a smaller belt to tie around her waist. It looked good, though. Root looked good.

“You know…” Root said, making Sameen’s eyes shoot to her face. Root smiled, her eyes twinkling, and leaned towards her playfully. “…if you look at your crush the way you’re looking at me now, I bet she’d be putty in her hands.”

Root winked and Sameen felt her temperature rise. Her heart skipped a beat and she pushed herself away from the table, crossing her arms. Root really knew how to get under her skin. Sameen swallowed and tried to erase the image of Root in her hands.

“If I knew a fancy dress would make you so conceited, I would have told Mom to get you something else,” Sameen scoffed.

Root didn’t answer and Sameen looked at her. Root was grinning. Sameen scratched her eye, feeling awkward.

“What?” Sameen demanded. “What’s that look for?”

“You called Mrs. Reese ‘mom,’” Root replied.

Sameen tried to remember what she’d said. Had she called Mrs. Reese ‘mom?’ She supposed it wasn’t an odd thing to do. She’d been living with Mrs. Reese for over a year now and Mrs. Reese was her legal guardian and adoptive mother.

She looked at Root and saw her typing on her phone.

“What are you doing?”

Root glanced at her, then resumed typing. “I’m texting John. He owes me 20 bucks.”

“For what?” Sameen growled. “Did you bet on me?”

“Yup,” Root said, unabashedly. “He put money on you holding out another year, but I knew you already thought of her as a mother.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and turned away. She wasn’t really annoyed. Root always made her feel warm inside, but now, on Valentine’s Day, in this fancy theatre, Sameen felt unbalanced. Her complicated relationship with emotions was only growing in complexity.

She liked Root and, if Sameen was honesty with herself, she could love Root in the future. How was that possible? How did Root make her feel things her own parents hadn’t been able to?

The lobby lights flashed and Sameen shook her head, pulling herself into the present. Root picked up her purse and held her hand out for Sameen to take. They walked up to the theater doors and Root dropped Sameen’s hand to pull the tickets out of her purse.

They walked into the space and Root gasped. Even Sameen was impressed with the sheer size of the space. The ceiling was high above them and shiny wood panels covered everything. The back wall of the stage was a floor-to-ceiling organ, giant and looming.

Root grinned at Sameen and they went to find their seats.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root looked out the window as they rode back into Bishop. It looked like the Valentine’s Day Concert was still going on in the park. She turned to Sameen, excited.

“Hey, want to stop by the park? I want Martine to see how good we look and be angry.”

Sameen chuckled and bumped her turn signal on, turning right and rolling into the parking lot. Root grinned and kicked her shoes off. There was no way she was going to try and walk across this field in her high heels. The car stopped and she jumped out, raising her skirt off the ground.

Sameen stepped out of the car and walked around it. When she got to Root, Root could see she wasn’t wearing shoes either. They started for the crowd.

“Remember last year?” Root asked, grinning. “I threw up on you.”

“Oh, I remember,” Sameen rolled her eyes, carefully picking her way through the grass. “It was…actually the worst. I was naked.”

Root sighed regretfully. “I know…”

Sameen glanced at her and then focused on the ground again. Root was having fun teasing Sameen. Now that she knew Sameen like girls, and liked Root, obviously, she felt lighter than she had in months.

Root watched Zoe’s band play for a minute before spotting John, Joss, and Lionel in the crowd. She tugged on Sameen’s arm, turning her in the right direction. John saw them and waved.

“Wow,” Joss breathed, shaking her head, “you guys look amazing!”

Root shrugged, casually brushing hair from her forehead. “What, this old thing?”

Joss laughed and lightly smacked her arm. “How was the show?”

“Perfect!” Root gushed. “The woodwinds were brilliant. I almost cried several times.”

“She did cry,” Sameen clarified, smirking. “Several times.”

Root rolled her eyes and bumped her shoulder against Sameen’s. Sameen had pulled out a handkerchief during the performance because Root couldn’t stop blubbering. It had been an amazing experience. She hoped that she could see another show in the future. Maybe she’d make enough money to buy Sameen tickets next time.

“Have you seen Martine?” Root asked, standing on her toes to look around. “I want her to be jealous of us.”

Joss shook her head. “I don’t think she’s here. She and Lambert broke up.”

“Again?” Sameen scoffed. “Didn’t they just get back together? Those two are the worst.”

Root pouted. “Damn, we’ll have to find another reason to dress up.”

“You could go to prom next year,” Joss suggested. “We can get you tickets.”

“Ooh!” Root grinned and turned to Sameen. “Let’s go to prom!”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Seriously? You wouldn’t prefer a lobotomy?”

“I’ll work on her,” Root said to Joss. “We’ll be there.”

Sameen opened her mouth to retort, but Lionel cut her off.

“Are you guys going to hang around?” He glanced at his watch. “Or can I catch a ride home?”

“Leaving already?” John looked down at him. “We’re not good enough company for you?”

“Listen,” Lionel said, gesturing widely, “hanging out with you three makes me want to claw my eyes out. Seriously, it’s disgusting.”

“That hurts,” John pressed a hand against his chest. “That cuts deep.”

“Sorry, Lionel,” Root sighed, head tilting, “we’ve got other plans.”

“We do?” Sameen asked her, confused.

Root winked at her. “You bet your butt we do.”

Sameen flushed, her face darkening. She cleared her throat and nodded sharply, turning around and heading back to the car. Root grinned and waved goodbye to their friends. She lifted her skirt higher and jogged to catch up with Sameen.

Sameen unlocked the car and they opened their doors and sat down.

“Where to?” Sameen asked when they’d buckled in.

“The train,” Root answered, reaching behind herself to unzip her dress. She saw Sameen staring at her and reached out to push her head forward. “Drive!”

Root wiggled out of her dress, letting it slide of her legs onto the floor. She picked it up and folded it carefully, dropping it onto the dashboard. The car started backing up, Sameen turning in her seat to look out the back window. Root leaned forward to press a quick kiss to Sameen’s nose when she turned back to the front.

“Don’t watch me,” Root ordered, climbed between their seats to the backseat.

Sameen pulled them onto the road and headed for the train. “What are you doing?”

“Changing!” Root answered.

She reached over the backseat and lifted a duffle bag from the trunk. Dropping it to the seat next to her, she unzipped it and pulled out her pajama shirt. She’d brought them sleep clothes to wear for their sleepover in the train.

Sameen didn’t know it, but Root had strung fairy lights up in their clubhouse. She’d built a small portable battery that lasted almost two days and plugged them in before she went to Sameen’s to get ready earlier. She’d also paid Elias to buy them a bottle of champagne. That kid was weird, but he would do anything for a price.

Root pulled her shirt over her head, running a hand over the faded Belgian Malinois on the front. Sameen had bought this for her ages ago and Root wore it most nights. She scooted forward and leaned between the seats to talk to Sameen.

“I brought pajamas,” she said. “You can change when we get there.”

Sameen laughed. “I shouldn’t be surprised you had something planned.”

“No,” Root said, poking Sameen in the cheek, “you shouldn’t be.”

They arrived at the train and Sameen parked the car a few yards away from the train tracks. Root grabbed the duffle bag and hopped out of the car. She realized that they had to walk across the tracks and she was barefoot. It was too dark to walk across the train tracks without shoes. Even with the light from the moon, Root couldn’t see the ground clearly.

Sameen appeared in front of her in only her bra, her underwear, and a pair of sneakers. Her abs were covered in a thin sheen of sweat, already hot in the night air. Root blushed.

“Why are you naked?”

Sameen crossed her arms. “I’m not bringing that dress into the train. It’s a nice dress and a rusty train.”

Root laughed and held out the duffle bag. “Well, here. Put your pajamas on.”

“No,” Sameen shook her head, “we both know I’m going to end up sleeping like this, so what’s the point?”

“What’s the point?” Root muttered to herself, chuckling, as she tossed the duffle bag to the ground near the car. “I don’t have shoes to wear. My feet are going to die.”

Sameen turned around and bent her legs, offering Root her, very muscular, back. “Here, I’ll carry you.”

“Um,” Root’s eyebrows drew down, “I’m like a foot taller than you.”

Sameen straightened up and glared at her. “Ok, you’re like six inches taller than me and I’m really strong. It’s not a problem.” She resumed the piggyback position.

Root shrugged helplessly. She’d hoped she’d end up pressed to a shirtless Sameen at some point in the evening, but she hadn’t expected this. She walked forward and hopped up onto Sameen’s back, lifting her legs around her waist. Sameen’s stomach was warm against her bare legs. Root wrapped her arms around Sameen’s shoulders.

“Is this ok?” Root asked her, resting her chin on the top of Sameen’s head.

Sameen bounced Root, adjusting her grip. She started walking to the tracks. “You weigh like 100lbs soaking wet. I’m fine.”

“You really are strong,” Root said, hooking her fingers under Sameen’s bra straps. “I’m impressed. You could really get the ladies like this.”

“I’ve got a lady,” Sameen grunted as she stepped over the tracks. “One who overprepares some things and underprepares others.”

“Well, I’m not a boy scout, Sameen. I had to learn all on my own.”

“I wanted to be a boy scout,” Sameen said, stopping in front of the train, “but I am, unfortunately, not a boy.”

Root slid down Sameen’s body, keeping them in full contact. “Nope,” she murmured, “You’re all woman.”

She felt Sameen shiver against her. Root stepped away and hopped on the train, crawling across the blankets she’d laid out earlier. She kept a cooler in the train, stocked with snacks and juice. She opened it and pulled out the Champagne bottle.

She turned around and held the bottle up, wiggling her hips at Sameen as she climbed into the train. Sameen laid down on her side, one hand holding up her head and the other resting on her hip. She looked amazing, framed by the stars and shadowed trees. The string lights cast an orange light on her, making her golden skin glow.

Root swallowed nervously. She was going to make her move tonight. Hopefully, the lights and the Champagne and the excitement from the concert would carry her through. Root moved to sit next to Sameen and crossed her legs in front of her.

She put the bottle in her lap and started peeling off the gold foil. Sameen reached out, laying a hand on Root’s leg, her fingers lightly scratching. Root’s fingers slipped and sliced herself on the sharp foil.

“Ow,” she muttered, holding her finger up to the light. A small line of blood formed.

She started moving her hand towards her mouth, but Sameen caught it. Sameen leaned forward and put Root’s finger in her mouth, sucking lightly. Root’s heart stopped and she froze. Normally, she’d spout off some fact about saliva healing wounds and it’s natural to want to lick them, but watching Sameen’s lips wrap around her finger brought her brain to a halt.

Sameen pulled back and looked at Root’s finger. She smiled up at Root.

“Looks good,” she said, “be more careful.”

Root rolled her eyes and pulled her hand away. She’d been distracted by Sameen’s hand on her leg, so really Sameen should be more careful.

“Where’d you get this?” Sameen asked, tracing a finger down the bottle, leaving a line in the condensation.

“Elias,” She answered, getting the last of the foil off. “I tracked him down a few days ago.”

“A few days ago?” Sameen asked her, sitting up. “You really planned this out.”

Root glanced up at her. Sameen looked the same as always, calm and unreadable. Root wondered if she was nervous at all, if she knew what Root wanted.

“I wanted it to be perfect,” Root said quietly. She started untwisting the wire around the cork. “Why are there so many layers to this?”

“Probably to keep it from exploding,” Sameen chuckled. She watched Root’s hands as they removed the wire. “Do you want me to pop it?”

“Sure,” Root handed the bottle over. “Point it outside.”

“Obviously,” Sameen rolled her eyes, shifting on the blankets, “I’m not an idiot.”

Root watched as Sameen’s thumbs pushed at the cork. There was a loud pop and foam started pouring from the bottle. Sameen held the bottle away from herself and Root dove forward, twisting to stick her mouth under the stream of Champagne. She swallowed quickly, but still ended up wet.

Sameen laughed at her as the foam stopped. “Good job. Now you’re all wet.”

Root winked at her, the effect lost as she wiped her face. “I’m with you,” she joked, “what do you expect?”

Sameen watched her through hooded eyes. Root’s stomach flipped and she swallowed hard. That was not a look she’d seen on Sameen before. Root didn’t know what it meant. Had she gone too far?

Sameen reached behind her to put bottle on the ground and turned back to Root. She walked on her knees, stalking towards Root like a predator examining its meal. Root’s stomach clenched, her body tingling under Sameen’s steady gaze.

“You missed a spot,” Sameen said, swinging a leg over Root’s hips. She leaned forward onto her hands, her mouth inches from Root’s. “Right here.”

She pushed Root’s head to the side and leaned down, licking a long line up Root’s neck and leaving a trail of goosebumps. Sameen hummed into Root’s neck, making her toes curl.

“Thanks,” Root gasped, her hands clenching in the blankets below her. “I don’t, um, want to be sticky later.”

Sameen shrugged, smirking. “I just wanted to help. I’m a helper.”

Root rolled her eyes. She reached up slowly, resting her fingertips on Sameen’s waist.

“Sameen?” Root said, looking up at Sameen’s face.

Sameen’s head dipped down and pulled away again, her eyes fixed on Root’s lips. “Yeah?”

“I like you,” Root whispered. Sameen met her eyes and Root shivered with nerves. “A lot.”

Sameen closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to Root’s and shifting down to rest on her elbows. Root closed her eyes, her hands tightening around Sameen’s waist. She pulled Sameen down on top of her, the weight on her hips grounding her.

Sameen shifted one hand to pull the pins out of Root’s bun, throwing them aside. She tangled her fingers in Root’s hair and Root gasped into her mouth. Sameen’s teeth nipped at her lips and Root’s back arched, pressing her stomach against Sameen’s.

Root felt hot and full, like she could finally let go, let herself sink into Sameen. She wrapped her arms around Sameen’s back, pushing her even closer. Sameen’s mouth trailed across Root’s jaw and moved to her neck. Every time Sameen bit down, Root’s hips jerked up.

Root scratched her nails down Sameen’s back, drinking in the long moan Sameen let out against her collarbone. This was home. Sameen’s body against hers, Sameen’s mouth against hers. Sameen. Sameen. Sameen.

Sameen lifted herself back up, pushing onto her hands. Her hair hung down from her shoulders. Root turned her head to look at Sameen’s arms, strong and sweating in the warm, Texas air. Root looked at her face, panting.

“We should do that again,” Root said, her heart pounding in her chest. “Maybe not out here, though. Somewhere with air-conditioning…and a dry blanket.”

Sameen grinned and lowered herself again, sucking Root’s bottom lip into her mouth and releasing it with a wet pop.

“I agree,” she said, pulling her leg over Root again and sitting to the side. “We should kiss all the time.”

Root turned onto her side and watched Sameen pull her hair into a ponytail. She was hesitant to do anything that might ruin this new thing between them, but she had to know, had to hear Sameen say it.

“Do you like me?” Root asked, hating how small her voice sounded and how small she felt. “I’m not trying to be needy or anything. Don’t think that I’m like that. I know you need space, I just – “

Sameen pressed a finger to Root’s lips, looking serious. “Of course, I like you, idiot. I’ve liked you since the first day of school.”

“Since-“ Root sat up, frowning. “What? Seriously?”

Sameen rolled her eyes, her hands in her lap. “I didn’t know that’s what it was then, but yeah. I was mean to you because I liked you.”

“You’ve…” Root rubbed a hand over her forehead. “We have been friends for a year and a half and all this time, we could have been dating?”

Sameen shrugged, scratching her cheek. “I mean, I guess. I wasn’t exactly in a place for that, but if you had asked-“

Root punched Sameen in the arm as hard as she could. “I have been dying! Stressed out! So, worried about everything that I did or said and you just…what? Let me struggle?”

“Root, I didn’t know! This emotion thing is new to me! I still can’t promise that I won’t fuck it up.”

Root shoved her finger in Sameen’s face, her face drawn down in a scowl. “If you fuck it up, I will kill you. I will figure out how to hire an assassin and murder you.”

Sameen leaned back, pushing Root’s finger out of her face. “Uh, Root? We’re 16. I can’t promise you forever or anything.”

Root squinted at her. Sameen was right. Logically, Root knew that, but Root’s heart, the part of her that told her aliens were real, that told her she was meant for great things, also told her that Sameen was going to be with her forever. They were meant to be.

Root sighed. Sameen would come around. She’d already gotten over her freak out last summer; she’d see that she and Root were going to last.

“Ok, Sameen,” Root said, running her hands through her hair, “at least promise me for now.”

Sameen leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Root’s mouth. She pulled back just enough to talk. “I promise you six months, at least.”

Root rolled her eyes and closed the distance.


	27. I Just Can't Get Enough

"Toss up number 4 is in Physics," the moderator read into the microphone. "Short answer."

Sameen slumped in her chair, bored out of her mind. Earlier, Root had asked her to go to the Science Bowl competition and Sameen had said no. 20 minutes and several kisses later, Sameen found herself in the backseat, crammed between Zoe and Root.

The past couple of weeks had been great. She and Root kissed all the time, while they did their homework, while they watched tv, while they looked at the stars. Luckily, they were already used to staying up late, or they might have been exhausted constantly. They hadn't gone much farther than kissing, but that was fine. Sameen was taking all she could get.

Now, they were sitting in the back of an auditorium, watching a bunch of nerds answer questions about nerd stuff. Sameen knew all the answers, but still, it was the principle of the thing.

She glanced over at Root, smiling slightly as Root stared the stage totally focused. She mouthed the solution before the team on stage did. Sameen reached out and took Root's hand, a plan forming in her mind. Root wanted to use her body to distract Sameen? Well, two could play at that game.

Root glanced down at their arms, pressed together to fit on the armrest. Sameen slid her fingers between Root's. Root turned back to the stage. Sameen smirked and straightened up, paying attention now.

Slowly, she drew her fingers down Root's slender hand, barely brushing her palm. She knew her plan was working when the hair on the back of Root's neck stood up. Root looked determined to watch the competition, but her flared nostrils gave her away; her attention was on their contact.

Root curled her hand into a fist, trying to protect it, but Sameen pushed her way underneath Root's fingers, intertwining their fingers again. She squeezed and Root automatically squeezed back. Sameen reached over with her other arm. She ran her fingernails down Root's forearm, just hard enough to leave white trails.

Root sucked in a shaky breath, licking her lips, her arm vibrating under Sameen's. Sameen moved her fingers back and forth, using the thumb of their joined hands to softly rub Root's finger.

Root's touch made Sameen itch. Every time Root brushed against her or laid a hand on her, Sameen's skin crawled in the best way possible. It was nice to know that her touch affected Root, too. Even just holding hands, even gentle, light touches were enough to make Root's breath shake.

Sameen rain her nails down Root's arms hard, the raised, red bumps that happen to pale people streaking her skin. Sameen held her breath so she could hear Root's almost inaudible gasp.

Zoe leaned forward from Root's other side, glancing between them.

"Are you ok?" she asked Root, looking concerned.

Root nodded, pulling her hand from Sameen's and running it over her ponytail. "Yeah, sorry. I just don't feel well." They called for a break on stage and Root stood up. "I'm going to go to the bathroom."

Sameen looked up, schooling her face into a look of worry. "Do you want me to come with you?"

Root glared down at her. "Sure."

Sameen tucked her legs to the side and let Root pass in front of her, her eyes lingering on Root's bare legs. She stood and turned to Zoe.

"I'll let you know if we need to go home or anything."

Zoe nodded, not looking entirely convinced. "Uh-huh."

Sameen smirked and turned around, but Root had already left. She headed out of the auditorium, joining the line of people exiting. She stood on her toes as she walked, trying to catch sight of Root, but she'd lost her. Sameen scowled. She didn't usually hate her height, but times like this, she wished she were taller.

She finally got to the lobby and spotted Root leaning against the door to the single-stalled restroom down the hall. Root waved to her and slipped inside. Sameen quickly jogged across the lobby and pushed her way into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Root was leaning against the sink, looking at Sameen through hooded eyes.

"You know," Root said, reaching up to pull her hair loose, "if you wanted to get me alone, you could have just asked."

Sameen rolled her eyes, slowly crossing the room to Root. "I tried to get you to stay home, but no…You're a nerd first and a girlfriend second."

Root grinned as Sameen pressed against her and put her hands on either side of Root's hips, trapping her against the sink. Root dipped her head to kiss Sameen, but spun them around at the last second. Sameen felt the cold porcelain of the sink against her back.

"Wow," she said, impressed, "that was sneaky."

"Hop up," Root ordered, tapping on Sameen's legs. "I wanna be eye level."

Sameen jumped, hoisting herself up to sit on the sink. "Better? Not all of us can be elven and beautiful."

Root grinned, her head tilting to the side. "You think I'm beautiful?"

"Oh my god," Sameen groaned.

She reached forward and grabbed Root's head, crashing their lips together. Root stumbled forward and wrapped her arms around Sameen's waist.

Kissing Root was intoxicating. It made Sameen feel the way she'd assumed alcohol would, warm and relaxed and as happy as she could get. Sameen wanted to live here, her body burning and her heart loud. Root's hands grasped at her neck and tangled in her hair.

She moved her hands to Root's waist, sneaking them under her shirt and resting them against Root's stomach. She and Root still worked out together and Root's stomach was firm under her hands. Sameen leaned back to suck in a breath.

"I love your body," she mumbled against Root's lips, her eyes still closed. "It's perfect."

Root grinned and nipped at Sameen's bottom lip. "I like working out with you, all sweaty and panting."

Sameen growled and yanked Root forward, sucking her lip and moving a hand up to cup her bra. Root gasped weakly into Sameen's mouth and Sameen thought it sounded like heaven.

There was a knock on the door and the girls froze.

"Root? Shaw?" Zoe's voice asked from the other side. "Are you guys ok? The thing just started again."

Root pulled away, glancing at Sameen with regret. "We'll be right there!"

"Ok," Zoe said. "Just checking."

They listened as her footsteps retreated. Sameen hopped off the sink and moved away from Root, letting her body calm down. Root pulled her hair back up into its ponytail, her face flushed.

"You should tan," Sameen said, crossing her arms. "You get red so easily."

Root rolled her eyes and gestured to the mirror with her chin. "You're not exactly blush-proof, Sameen."

Sameen glanced in the mirror, surprised to see how flustered she looked. Her ponytail, normally tight to her head, was limp. Strands of hair framed her red face. Sameen pulled her hair down, shaking her head. She glared at Root as she quickly braided it back.

"I blame you. You make me crazy."

Root grinned and wiggled her eyebrows. "Mentally or physically?"

"Honestly?" Samee said, tying off her braid. "Both. You're really annoying sometimes."

"Oh please," Root said, reaching out to unlock the door, "I'm annoying all the time."

Sameen smiled despite herself and followed Root out into the hall.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root glanced around the car. They were heading home and, this time, she was the one squished into the middle seat. Sameen had argued that Root was thinner and thus the better choice, but as Root sat here, her legs folded against her chest, she was inclined to disagree.

Root glanced over at Sameen and rolled her eyes. When they'd walked out of the bathroom earlier, Zoe had been waiting for them. They'd told her they were together and she'd told Joss who told John who almost had a heart attack.

"I'm not sure," John started from the driver's seat, "if I'm supposed to give you guys the talk?"

Sameen choked. "Please don't."

"Not the sex talk," John clarified. "Just…the big brother talk."

"Ooh," Root grinned, "are you going to threaten me or Sameen?"

Joss turned in her seat. "Sameen is his sister, so you, right?"

"Well," Zoe said thoughtfully, "he's known Root longer, though."

"How about no one threatens anyone?" Sameen growled, crossing her arms. "How about we never talk about this again?"

Joss looked at her for a moment before turning to Root. "So, when did you guys get together?"

Sameen groaned and glared out the window. Root leaned forward, resting her chin on her knees. She was happy to have friends to talk to.

"Valentine's Day," Root chuckled. "I took Sameen out to our clubhouse and seduced her."

"Hold on," Sameen scoffed, joining the conversation again, "you didn't seduce me. I seduced you. I'm in charge here."

Zoe laughed. "If you were in charge, you wouldn't have to announce it like that."

"Exactly," Joss added. "Zoe and I never say we're the bosses, but John knows it."

John winced. "I do."

Sameen kicked the back of John's chair, making him jump. "Don't you dare tell Mrs. Reese."

"Um," John glanced back in the rearview mirror, "I already did."

"What?" Sameen hissed, leaning forward. Her shoulder bumped Root, knocking her into Zoe. "How could you?"

"She asked me to!" John defended himself. "She said, and I quote 'Let me know when the girls get together.' I had to!"

"You are such a momma's boy," Sameen scoffed, leaning back in her seat.

Root wondered why Sameen put up such a front. She was thrilled to be dating Root, but she had to make everyone think it was no big deal. Root was more than willing to talk about. Maybe Sameen was only interested in the kissing. She frowned.

Sameen glanced at her and rolled her eyes. She pulled out her phone, her fingers punched the screen. Root turned back to Zoe, trying not to worry about it even though the thought of Sameen not actually liking her made her nauseous.

"Are you guys sleeping over tonight? We could all crash in the treehouse."

"Yes!" Zoe cheered. "I miss our sleepovers. It's been too long."

"Can the boys join?" Joss asked, reaching out to rub John's arm. "I hate excluding them all the time."

"That's fine," Root sighed dramatically. "If I get to have my date mate, you can have yours."

Her phone buzzed from where she'd dropped in between her legs and she awkwardly adjusted to pick it up. It was a Facebook notification telling her Sameen had requested a change in their relationship status. She opened the app and accept the request with shaking fingers.

'In a relationship with Sameen Shaw.'

Root turned to grin at Sameen. Sameen shrugged, awkwardly, and reached out to hold Root's hand. Sameen still confused Root sometimes, most of the time, but Root needed to trust her. She wasn't going to run away again, she wasn't going to date anyone else. Sameen was hers. Finally.

"Oh, Facebook official!" Joss squealed from the front seat. She grinned back at them, wiggling her phone. "This is great!"

"Martine is going to flip," Zoe said, pulling her phone out. "Just wait."

Root's eyes lit up. "I hadn't thought about that. That makes it even better!"

"Um, hello?" Sameen gestured to herself. "Am I not enough?"

"You're fine, Sameen," Root chuckled. "Martine is just the icing on the cake."

The car rolled to a stop in front of the house and Sameen squeezed Root's hand before letting go. Root unbuckled her seatbelt and followed Sameen out of the car. The gang headed to the house. Root took Sameen's hand as they walked to the door.

John opened the door and he and the girls hurried up the stairs. Mrs. Reese stepped into the hall and stopped Sameen and Root.

"Girls?" she said, sounding formal. "Would you join me in the living room?"

Root glanced at Sameen, frowning. Sameen shrugged at her and led them into the living room. Mrs. Reese had pulled a chair across from the couch and was sitting in it. She gestured for them to sit. Root dropped Sameen's hand and sat on the couch, her hands nervously clasped in her lap.

"Are we in trouble?" she asked. Mrs. Reese had seemed okay with Root being gay, but maybe now that she and Sameen were dating, she'd changed her mind. Root really loved Mrs. Reese and didn't want anything to ruin their relationship. "Are you mad at us?"

Mrs. Reese's face softened and she reached out to lay a hand on Root's knee. "No, Honey, of course not. I just have to talk to you about a few things."

Sameen slouched into the cushions, crossing her arms. "What?"

Mrs. Reese cleared her throat and crossed her legs. "Well, now that you two are together, we should set some ground rules."

"Rules?" Root asked. "Like what?"

"Like when you're both in the bedroom, the door should stay open."

Sameen sat forward. "No way. Rule rejected."

Mrs. Reese laughed. "It's not a discussion. John has to keep his door open when Joss or Zoe are over."

"Yeah…" Root said slowly. "They still have sex though, so…"

Mrs. Reese winced. "I know."

"It's not like we can get pregnant," Sameen scoffed. "Like what's the worst that would happen? Seriously?"

Mrs. Reese sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. "Fine. I'll concede on the door rule."

Root glanced at Sameen. They hadn't talked about sex at all. Root wanted to do it, but she wasn't sure they were ready. What if Sameen didn't like it? What if Root wasn't good? Sameen had only seen her fully naked a couple times, what if Sameen got a good look at her and didn't like what she saw?

"Second Rule," Mrs. Reese said. She frowned. "First rule, I guess. Come to me with any questions or problems that come up. I don't want you two to feel like only one of you is allowed to talk to me."

Root smiled. "Thank you."

"Yeah," Sameen said, shrugging. "Thanks."

"I don't have anything else," Mrs. Reese said, wryly. "I didn't have much time to prepare."

"You're not going to give us a lecture about contraceptives?" Sameen said, smirking. "I don't get a box of condoms like John did?"

Mrs. Reese crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. "You joke, but I know where we could pick up some dental dams. I did some work with Planned Parenthood before John was born. I could teach you about different types of lube. You know there's this kind that gets warmer when-"

"No!" Sameen shot to her feet, covering her ears. "Enough!"

Root laughed at her as she turned and stomped out of the room. Sameen was such a baby sometimes. Root stood up and smiled at Mrs. Reese.

"We'll be safe," she said, putting her hands in her pockets. "I mean, when…Uh, if we do anything."

Mrs. Reese nodded knowingly. "Don't let Sameen be mean to you. If you want to talk about your relationship, you should be able to."

Root pushed a strand of hair behind her ears. "Thanks. Although, the last bit of advice you gave me didn't really work out."

"I'm sorry about that," Mrs. Reese said, standing. "I'm better at listening than talking."

Root shrugged and walked out of the living room. Sameen was waiting for her by the pool, glaring into the house. Root laughed and jogged down the hall. Her girlfriend was waiting.


	28. Flaws

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have a disapproving mother, this chapter will be a little rough.

Root squeezed Sameen’s hand under the table. She smiled when she felt the now-familiar squeeze back. Sameen had won the championship for Bishop High School again and now they were all out to celebrate. Root had no doubt that Sameen would be captain of the soccer team next year.

She looked around the table. The adults sat at the far end; her mother, Mrs. Reese, Grace, and Principal McCarthy. Her mother kept glancing over at them and Root swallowed nervously. She hadn’t told her mother that she and Sameen were dating and, honestly, she wasn’t sure that she would.

Her mother had finally stopped asking her about boys, but Root knew she wasn’t happy about Root liking girls. The past few nights, she’d been finding bible verses on her pillow when she woke up. It made Root so mad that her mother was trying to control her. Root had been taking care of herself for so long, it was suffocating to have her mother try and parent her.

Her mother didn’t even want to parent her all the time. It was only about things she didn’t approve of, like Sameen. Root knew the gay thing wasn’t the only reason. Her mother wasn’t happy that Sameen wasn’t white. She could be so small-minded.

“Hey, Root?” Sameen said quietly, leaning towards her. “You’re crushing my hand.”

Root let go of Sameen’s hand, shaking her head to clear her mind. She smiled at Sameen, trying to seem normal. Sameen looked at her, concerned.

“What’s wrong?” Sameen asked her, leaning closer.

Root pulled her hands up, laying them on the table.

“It’s nothing,” she said, ducking her head to talk into Sameen’s ear. “My mom keeps looking at us.”

They looked over at Root’s mom and caught her looking at them. Sameen turned back to Root.

“Have you told her?”

“No,” Root shook her head, “I haven’t. I wasn’t going to.”

Sameen frowned, but she nodded. “Ok. Do what you think is best. You know her.”

Root chuckled, humorlessly. “I don’t know her at all. That’s the problem.”

A chair scrapped back and Root looked up to see her mother standing. Her mother gave her a meaningful look, then smiled down at the other adults.

“I’m not feeling well,” she said. “I’d like to go home.”

Root sighed and stood. She’d been looking forward to spending the night in the hotel room with Sameen, Joss, and Zoe. It was almost a 4 hour drive back to Bishop, though, and there was no way she could drive eight hours tonight. Her mother picked up her purse and headed out of the restaurant.

“Do you have to go?” Joss sighed. “We were going to watch a movie tonight.”

“Yeah,” Root shrugged. “I can’t let her go alone.”

Mrs. Reese smiled sadly at her. “I’m sorry, Honey. Let me know when you get home.”

Root nodded and stepped away from the table. Sameen’s hand came up and caught her arm. She held up her keys.

“Here,” she said. “You can take my car.”

Root’s mouth dropped open. “You’re giving me the keys to Ruth?”

“We are not naming my car after Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Root.” Sameen rolled her eyes. She pushed the keys into Root’s hand and wrapped her fingers around them. “Text me when you get home.”

“I will,” Root smiled. She looked around the table quickly and then pressed a quick kiss to the top of Sameen’s head. “Bye, everyone.”

She waved as they said goodbye and walked around the table. She headed outside and spotted her mother at the bus stop just outside the parking lot, smoking a cigarette. Root rolled her eyes and headed for Sameen’s car.

“Mom!” she called. Her mom turned to look at her. “Come here! I’m driving!”

Her mom dropped the cigarette to the street and ground it with her shoe. She walked across the grassy median to Root. Root unlocked the car and reached forward to adjust the seat back. She had to remember to move it back when she got home or Sameen would be upset. She was so sensitive about her height sometimes.

Root angled herself into the car, turning on the engine, and buckling her seatbelt. Her mom knocked on the passenger window and Root reached across the car to push up the lock. She plugged her phone in to charge and opened her GPS. When her mom was settled, Root shifted into reverse.

Root backed them out of the parking spot and maneuvered them out onto the street. Her mother turned on the radio as they turned onto the highway, switching it to a Christian rock station. Root clenched her hands around the steering wheel.

They drove in silence for over an hour, Root grinding her teeth and trying not to be angry at her mother for making her leave her friends. For almost six years, even when her father was still around, Root had taken care of herself. She learned to cook, to clean, to sell furniture on the internet. She knew the location of every Goodwill in the county.

Now, her mother was sober and Root was still taking care of her. Her mother hadn’t worked in almost a year. Root was working 30 hours a week, more if she picked up weekend shifts, just to pay utilities and buy food. Sameen was the thing holding her together and her mother was trying to ruin it.

“Where did you learn to drive stick?” her mother asked, an hour into their drive.

“Mrs. Reese taught me,” Root answered, pressing the clutch and shifting up. “She taught me and Sameen over the summer.”

Her mother crossed her arms and looked out the window. They continued on in silence. After a while, the cars around them started slowing down. Root braked, shifting into a lower gear. There must be an accident up ahead. Root looked at her phone, two and a half hours left. Her mother took opportunity to start a conversation.

“Are you and that Mexican girl dating?” she asked, still frowning out the window.

Root ground her teeth. “She’s not Mexican. She’s Persian.”

“Whatever,” her mom shrugged, “Same thing.”

“It’s not the same thing. She’s not Mexican or even Hispanic. Her parents were Iranian.”

Her mom turned to squint at her. “Is she legal?”

“Jesus,” Root scoffed. “Yes. She was born here.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Yes,” Root sighed, hands tight around the steering wheel, “we’re girlfriends.”

“And Mrs. Reese is encouraging this?” her mom questioned her. “How irresponsible.”

“What do you know about responsibility?” Root glared at her. “Mrs. Reese cares about me.”

Her mom looked away, swallowing. Root sighed loudly. She didn’t want to be mean to her mother. She wanted her mother to accept her. Religious overtures aside, Root and her mom had been getting along. They ate dinner together when Root had time and they’d even played Monopoly once.

The car in front of them sped up a little and Root moved them forward.

“I just think…” her mother started, “that you are too young to know who you like.”

Root growled. “If I liked boys, would you tell me I was too young?”

Her mother didn’t answer, just rolled her eyes. “Liking boys is normal. It’s natural. This…thing you have for that girl isn’t.”

Traffic started moving again and Root sped down the highway, desperate to get home and away from her mother.

“Have you had sex?”

“Mom!” Root flushed. “No. We haven’t.”

Her mother held her hands up. “I’m just checking. No man’s going to want to marry someone who’s been deflowered.”

“Deflowered?” Root repeated, incredulous. “I’m not…I-“

She hit the steering wheel. Root couldn’t think of another time she’d been so angry. She almost wished her mother had never gotten better, had just…stayed at rehab. She’d never have found out how her mother felt about gay people, how much she disapproved of Root.

“I have straight As,” Root said, glaring out the front window at the night. “I’ve got a job. I’ve got great extracurriculars. I’m going to do an internship next summer. I’m probably going to get a full ride to college. Is that not good enough for you?”

“That’s all fine,” her mother agreed, “but don’t you want to be a wife? Or a mother?”

“Being gay doesn’t mean I can’t have those things. I can get married.”

“Not to a woman.”

Root realized that her mother didn’t know about the marriage act, didn’t know that gay marriage was legal. Her stomach clenched. Her mother hadn’t bothered to do any research about what she’d missed while she was…not sober. How was Root her daughter?

“It’s legal. It has been for years.”

Her mother looked surprised. “Really? I can’t believe that. It must be those commies.”

“Oh my god,” Root muttered. She glanced at her phone again. Just under two hours left. “I can’t talk to you.”

Root’s mom muttered something under her breath and raised her feet onto the seat. Root glanced down and saw dirt smudges on the pale, leather seats.

“Put your feet down,” she ordered. Her mother dropped her feet. “Thanks.”

They continued along the highway, the stars bright in the darkness. Root had never realized how few streetlights there were on the highway. Normally, she’d be talking to Sameen or reading on the bus. Root sighed and tried to think about the future, when she was out of Bishop and free.

She and Sameen were going to find colleges close together. Root had always wanted to go to MIT, so they could find somewhere nearby for Sameen to go. Maybe Harvard or Yale. Root remembered what Sameen had said on Valentine’s Day. ‘Six months. At least.” She made a mental note to bring up their relationship status in August.

She glanced at her mother. Her mom didn’t go to college. She’d gotten pregnant with Root her senior year of high school and dropped out. Root’s father had been a college student in Kingsville, studying computer science. He’d been the one to get Root interested in programming and hacking.

That’s why she’d chosen to send pizzas to his house as her perpetual revenge. That was their thing: Pizzas and Programming. She would sit on his lap while he coded and they would have snacks. When he’d left…

Root’s mother pulled a water bottle out of her pursed and took a sip. Root couldn’t remember when her mom started drinking. She’d been a drunk for as long as Root could remember. The only good memories Root had with her were on Christmas.

Her mother would come into her room at dawn, when she’d only had one drink, and she’d wake Root up. Root would run down the stairs and they’d sit around the tree, usually a small, potted palm tree from Home Depot, and open presents.

That had stopped when she was 10. Her father started spending more time out of the house and her mother started spending more time at the bar. Everything had unraveled so quickly. Her mother stopped coming home, her father stopped teaching her. Root was 12 when she first thought her family might be better without her.

She’d been at the grocery store, stocking up on supplies to run away with when she’d met Hanna. Hanna had looked so happy, standing in the bread aisle. Root hadn’t even been able to say hello, she’d just dropped her basket and ran home, heart racing. After some research, and a little re-arranging, Root had shown up at school the next day transferred into all of Hanna’s classes.

She remembered riding her bike home that day, on top of the world. Hanna had talked to her about The Saddle Club and, because of her research, Root had already learned all about it. She’d played down her knowledge though and Hanna had invited her to over to watch it that weekend.

Root had burst into her house and run to find her mom, telling her all about her new friend. Her mother…Root swallowed hard. Her mother had crushed her, telling her she was worthless and unworthy of friends. It had only made Root want to be friends with Hanna more, but it had also made Root realize she couldn’t talk to her mother. She was on her own.

Root turned into Bishop, speeding home. Her mother turned in her seat, putting a foot up on the seat.

“Put your foot down,” Root ordered again.

Her mother dropped her foot and sighed. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I’m trying to step up and be a good mother.”

“What fucking right do you have to mother me?” Root yelled, slamming her fist down on her armrest. “I run the house, I run my own life, I run your life, too. I’m not a child, mom! God, I wish I was.”

She slammed the brakes in front of her house, throwing the car into park. She pulled the emergency break as her mother rushed out of the car and into the house. Root watched her slam the front door and sighed. She dropped her head onto the wheel with a thump.

She hadn’t meant to say that. Root had done her best to keep her feelings from her mother, but they were out now. Root picked her head up and unbuckled her seatbelt. She was still going on the road trip this summer. Her mother wasn’t going to stand in the way of her living her life.

Root noticed her mother’s purse, still on the passenger seat floor, and picked it up. She pushed her way out of the car and turned to pull the seat forward to Sameen’s preferred distance. Locking the car, she headed into the house.

She dropped her mom’s purse in the entryway and jogged up the stairs to her room. Her phone buzzed as she pulled out her keys to open her bedroom. Root hurried inside, sliding the chain across the door and hopping onto her bed.

She pulled her phone out.

//Are you home? Is Ruth ok?//

Root grinned. //Just got home. Ruth is perfect. How’s Georgetown?//

Root watched Sameen type for a second before tossing her phone onto her bed. She yanked her shoes and socks off, tossing them towards her closet. Her phone buzzed.

Sameen had sent her a picture of two slushies, one red and one blue. Root smiled softly. Sameen had gone to the same 7/11 they’d gone to last year.

//I got two of them. I’ll send a pic of my blue mouth later. If you show anyone, I’ll murder you.//

Some of the tension eased out of her and Root let out a long breath. She hopped onto her knees and pulled her shirt off. She opened her camera and laid back on the bed. It took her 5 minutes to arrange her hair perfectly and find the best angle to show off her boobs.

She sent the photo to Sameen. 2 minutes later, Root’s phone rang. She answered it, smug.

“Hey, Sweetie!”

“Are you trying to kill me?” Sameen’s voice demanded.

Root laughed. “Oh, did you get that? It was for my other girlfriend.”

“I hate you. You’re beautiful.”

“I like you, too.”

Root sighed, remembering her conversation with her mother.

“What’s wrong?” Sameen asked her. Root heard the sound of a Slushee being slurped. “Is it your mom?”

“Yeah,” Root said, holding the phone against her ear with her shoulder so she could wiggle out of her jeans. “She knows we’re dating.”

“I’m guessing she didn’t take it well.”

Root considered telling Sameen that her mother called her Mexican, that she hadn’t bothered to learn anything in the six months since she’d been home, that Root had yelled at her. Instead, she just sighed again.

“It was a rough drive home.” Root closed her eyes, pressure building behind her eyes. She was not going to cry on the phone with Sameen. “I should go to sleep. Driving wore me out.”

Sameen didn’t answer for a moment. She sighed. “Ok, I’ll text you in the morning.”

Root bit her lip. She wanted to talk to Sameen, but her mom was her problem. Sameen was always comforting Root. She wasn’t comfortable with emotion and Root was having a lot of emotions right now.

“Ok, Sameen. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I like you.”

Root smiled. “I like you, too.”

Root hung up the phone and tossed it onto her nightstand. She needed to go to sleep.

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Root woke up with a groan and pushed her hair out of her face. She blinked her eyes open, wondering what woke her up. She usually slept like the dead.

Her sheets rustled and she turned over, still bleary. Sameen was sliding into her bed.

“Sameen?” Root asked, propping herself up on her elbow. “Did you take your shoes off?”

Sameen rolled her eyes, the moonlight through the window illuminating her face. “Yes, nerd. Of course.”

Root leaned forward to kiss Sameen, reaching forward to pick at Sameen’s shirt. She pulled away slowly, scooting her body into Sameen’s warmth.

“What are you doing here?” she mumbled. “Why aren’t you in Georgetown?”

“You were upset,” Sameen shrugged, burrowing into the bed and wrapping her arms around Root. “I didn’t want you to be alone. I took a bus.”

Root’s heart skipped a beat. Sameen had taken a bus for 4 hours to comfort her. Root licked her lips and slipped her fingers into Sameen’s hair.

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Root,” Sameen scoffed, “You’re my girlfriend. I’m here to be bothered.”

Root pressed their lips together, her bare leg sliding between Sameen’s. Her heart was full. Sameen sighed into her mouth and pulled away.

“Ok, hit me with the feelings stuff. I am unsympathetic, but interested.”

“Well,” Root started, pulling the comforter over their shoulders, “she called you Mexican…”


	29. Make Out (Acoustic)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's earn that rating, folks. This chapter is a little...scandalous

The wind blew across the hill, rustling the grass and lifting Sameen’s crop top. The cool wind was a nice relief from the hot April air. Sameen had been living in Texas for over a year and she still hated the heat. A bead of sweat ran down her back into her shorts, as she tried to focus on what Root was saying.

They’d been dating for over two months now and Sameen still found Root captivating. Root had been afraid at first, worried that Sameen would lose interest or not want to talk about anything serious, but Sameen was doing her best to earn her trust and show her that she cared as much as she could.

She watched the wind blow through Root’s hair as she recited the poem. Sameen crawled forward and kissed Root, their lips awkwardly smooshing together because Root was talking. Root laughed and pushed Sameen away.

“Hey,” she said grinning, “I’m trying to learn.”

Sameen shrugged. “Sorry.”

Root looked sheepish. “It’s ok. I forgot the next part anyway.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. She was teaching Root ‘The Highwayman.’ Apparently, Root could memorize formulas and anything computer related, but she was awful at remembering poetry. Sameen was the opposite. Words were easy to learn, diseases, planets, soccer players. She cleared her throat dramatically.

“’The tip of one finger touched it. She strove no more for the rest. Up, she stood up to attention, with the muzzle beneath her breast. She would not risk their hearing; she would not strive again; For the road lay bare in the moonlight; Blank and bare in the moonlight; And the blood of her veins, in the moonlight, throbbed to her love’s refrain.’”

She mimed shooting herself in the boob and fell to the ground, groaning loudly as she clutched her chest. Root launched forward, laying herself across Sameen’s body.

“No! I’ll save you!” she cried, pressing the back of her hand to her forehead. “Forsooth!”

“Forsooth?” Sameen scoffed. “You’re off by…400 years.”

Root shrugged and scooted away, dropping onto her back next to Sameen and closing her eyes against the sun. “Fine. You can die.”

Sameen chuckled and turned onto her side, looking at Root’s face. She ran her eyes over Root’s cheeks, taking in the way the sunlight shone on her pale skin. Root opened one eye, peeking at Sameen.

“What are you looking at?” Root asked, opening her other eye and rolling over.

“You.”

“Me?” Root grinned, self-consciously. She rubbed her nose. “Why?”

Sameen poked her in the stomach. “I like how you look.”

Root squinted at her, judging her words. “Sure.”

“I do!” Sameen said, offended. “You don’t believe me?”

She shrugged, her fingers picking at the grass. “I’m not that nice to look at.”

“What?” Sameen demanded sitting up. “Um, I wouldn’t be into you if you weren’t perfect.”

“Perfect?” Root laughed. “You think I’m perfect now?”

Sameen reached out and pushed Root’s shoulder, rolling her onto her back and throwing a leg over her waist. She stared down at Root seriously, the tips of her hair tickling Root. Root was the most stunning thing that Sameen had ever seen. She was smooth and delicate, long and lean. Root was always cold to the touch and her touches always set Sameen on fire.

“You…” Sameen started, “…are amazing. You’re smart and pretty and really intense sometimes. In a good way.”

Root put her hands on Sameen’s bare thighs. The wind blew again, making Root shiver. Sameen leaned down, resting her weight on her forearms, her lips hovering above Root’s. Root lifted her arms, gathering Sameen’s hair, twisting it into a braid.

“You know how to braid upside down and you’re really bad at memorizing.”

Root let out a short laugh, her fingers tugging on Sameen’s hair. “That’s a good thing?”

“Yes,” Sameen said, watching Root tie off her braid, “because it means I’m better than you at something.”

“You’re better than me at a lot of things.”

“Not enough,” Sameen grumbled, making Root laugh.

A breeze blew between them and Sameen closed the distance. She rubbed her lips against Root’s lightly, savoring the feeling of Root’s scratchy lips beneath her own. She smiled, making a note to buy chapstick and pressed forward, sucking Root’s lip into her mouth.

Root sighed, their breaths mixing together. Sameen reached down and lifted Root’s shirt, just enough that their bare stomachs touched together. Root put her hands on Sameen’s back, then yanked them away.

“Ew,” she said, turning her head to break the kiss, “you’re all sweaty!”

“Well, it’s hot!” Sameen scowled, lifting herself. “We’ve been out here for hours.”

“And whose fault is that?” Root asked, smug.

Sameen’s brow dropped down. “Yours? You couldn’t memorize the poem.”

Root’s face dropped. “Oh. Yeah.”

Sameen smiled and climbed to her feet. She offered her hand down to Root. They packed their things and got ready to head home. Root had brought Ruth, her Vespa, named after Ruth Jamison from ‘Fried Green Tomatoes.’ Sameen had tried to tell her that they couldn’t both have vehicles named Ruth, but Root wouldn’t budge.

“Does Ruth 2 need gas?” Sameen asked Root as they walked down the hill.

Root rolled her eyes. “Don’t call her that. I got her first. She’s Ruth 1.”

“You named her second, though. So, she’s Ruth 2.”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Root pouted as they got to the bottom of the hill. “Don’t listen to Sameen, Ruthie. She’s just a meanie.”

Sameen laughed and picked up her helmet.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen shoved her elbow in Lionel’s face, as she raced around the corner.

“Hey!” Lionel reached out and knocked her controller out of her hands. “No cheating!”

Sameen growled and quickly snatched the controller back up. She slammed the joystick around with her thumb. There was no way these losers were beating her at Mario Kart. She was the champion and, goddamn it, it was going to stay that way.

“Fuck off, Lionel,” Sameen said, jamming her shoulder into his, “you’re going down.”

The screen froze as Princess Peach raced across the finish line. Sameen turned to glare at Root. Root just smiled at her, tossing the controller onto the carpet in front of her.

“Well, this was fun, but I think I’m going to sit out the next round.”

John chuckled from Lionel’s other side. “You always win.”

“And yet,” she said, climbing to her feet, “you always underestimate me.”

Sameen scoffed and got them back to the home screen as Root walked out of the room. She was constantly impressed with Root.

“Are we playing again?” John asked. His phone buzzed and he picked it up. “Oh, Zoe and Joss are here.”

“I guess not,” Lionel sighed. He stood up and threw his controller down.

Sameen watched him stomp out of the room. She turned to John.

“What’s his problem?” she asked.

John scratched his forehead. “I think he’s lonely. He doesn’t really have any friends and both of us are busy now.”

Sameen frowned. “I mean, I was always with Root before, too.”

“Yeah,” John agreed, “but it’s different. You guys hold hands and stare at each other. It’s hard to explain.”

Sameen crossed her arms. It didn’t feel like a lot had changed with Root, but they did kiss all the time now. She thought about how hanging out with John and the girls felt before she’d gotten together with Root. It was like there was a joke she wasn’t in on.

“What should we do?” She leaned forward and turned the tv off. “You know, to cheer him up?”

John shrugged. “I had been planning to go out with Zoe and Joss, but maybe we could all hang out. Swim or something.”

Sameen nodded. “Alright, I’ll gather Root if you get your girls and Lionel.”

They stood up and headed into the hallway. John went to the front door to let Zoe and Joss in and Sameen hurried up the stairs. She walked into her room and laughed.

Root was in her bathing suit, slowly spinning in Sameen’s desk chair. When she heard Sameen’s laugh, she jumped to her feet and posed.

“I know it’s your work out time, but what if we swam instead?” She walked slowly towards Sameen. “I know how…sweaty you were before.”

“As much as I like what you’re implying,” Sameen said, reaching out to put her hands on Root’s waist, “I just told John we’d all swim as a group. Lionel is feeling left out.”

Root pouted and nodded. “Ok, but you have to make it up to me later.”

“Deal.”

Sameen quickly changed into her bathing suit with only two inappropriate comments from Root and they hurried down the stairs and out the back door. Lionel, John, and the girls cheered as they walked out.

“Damn, Root,” Joss whistled, “you’ve got abs.”

Root covered her stomach self-consciously. “Sameen makes me do 50 sit-ups a day.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “I ask her to do 100, but she’s lazy.”

“Well,” Zoe said, resting her arms over the edge of the pool, “I suddenly feel very lazy.”

Sameen saw Lionel sitting on the edge of the pool wearing a shirt and walked over to him. She sat down next to him.

“Hey,” she said quietly, as their friends swum around, “you ok?”

Lionel shrugged. “Do you think you could teach me how to work out?”

Sameen nodded and rubbed his back. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

“I want the kids at school to stop making fun of me.”

Sameen’s face hardened. “They make fun of you? I’ll beat the shit out of them.”

“No,” Lionel chuckled. “That’s ok. I’d rather get a six pack.”

Sameen sighed. She didn’t hang out with Lionel a lot, he was a lot closer to John, but she liked him. He had a good heart.

“I’ll tell you what,” she said. “How about I teach you some martial arts? That’ll give you some good skills and it’ll get your endurance up. Then, we can work on a fitness plan.”

Lionel grinned at her. “That’s great!”

“I’m going on that road trip soon, but I’ll get you some DVDs and we can come up with a nutrition plan.” She looked up as Root called her name. “You can send me videos and stuff while I’m gone.”

“It’s a deal.”

He held out his hand to shake. Sameen took it and then shoved him forward into the pool.

Lionel surfaced sputtering for air. He glared at Sameen.

“Like Mulder always says,” she grinned, smug, “trust no one.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“97,” Sameen lowered and kissed Root, her wet hair tickling Root’s face. She pushed up. “98.”

Root grinned up at Sameen from underneath her. This was her new favorite treehouse activity. Sameen got to do her push-ups and Root got kisses. Root crossed her ankles and put her arms behind her head. Maybe if she kept Sameen distracted, Root wouldn’t have to work out.

“99,” Sameen kissed her. “100.”

Sameen lowered herself onto her knees and sat back, her arms sore. Root wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

“I think you should do a few more,” she suggested. “You know, just in case.”

“Just in case?” Sameen panted as stood. “In case what?”

Root shrugged, her back scratching slightly on the wood floor. “In case I hurt myself on the trip and you have to carry me to the nearest hospital. It’s miles and miles away and I’m just so hurt. What if you can’t save me? What if I die?”

“Oh god,” Sameen stomped across the tree house and picked up her water bottle.

Root rolled over onto her stomach to watch Sameen wipe her forehead. Sameen’s sports bra was damp in front and her skin glistened with sweat. Root wasn’t a huge fan of touching Sameen when she was dripping with sweat, but, damn, she liked to look at her.

Sameen had changed into her sports bra after they’d gone swimming. Root stayed in her bathing suit. She had pajamas in the treehouse already, so she could change before bed. For now, she was enjoying the way Sameen’s eyes kept dropping to her chest.

“I can already carry you. We know this,” Sameen winked at Root. “Anyway, you’re not going to get hurt. I’ll protect you.”

Root sighed, happily. “My hero.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and drank. Root climbed to her feet and hopped down the stairs to the lower level. They’d gone to the train earlier today and brought back the string lights Root had bought for Valentine’s day. She’d insisted on making a blanket fort in the treehouse with their blankets and the string lights ‘to test them.’ They’d left the front open to let in some air.

She crawled into the fort and dropped onto her butt. Quickly tying her hair up, she looked around for her phone. It sailed through the air and landed on her lap. Sameen ducked into the tent, her hair in a braid.

“Thanks,” Root said, checking the time. It was only eight. “You know, your hair doesn’t dry if it’s tied up. It’s too thick.”

Sameen looked at her, eyes dark. She lowered to her knees, crawling towards Root, looking dangerous. Root shivered, feeling like prey. Sometimes, Sameen got this glint in her eye, like she was hungry and Root was her favorite food. She tossed her phone aside in anticipation and leaned back on her elbows, stretching her legs in front of her.

Sameen closed the distance, trapping Root between her arms and legs. Root licked her lips. She could feel the heat radiating from Sameen, barely any clothing between them to dampen the affect. A drop of water slipped from Sameen’s hair and landed on Root’s collarbone.

Sameen watched it roll down Root’s chest and licked it up, her tongue trailing all the way up Root’s neck. Sameen nibbled on Root’s ear and Root’s eyes rolled back in her head. She swallowed hard, trying to calm herself down. Sameen pulled back and stared at Root hungrily, her eyes almost black.

“I want you,” Sameen said, her voice raspy. “So much.”

Root nodded, her throat dry. “Me too.”

Sameen growled and pushed her lips against Root’s, her hands coming up to grab Root’s side. Root clutched Sameen’s back, forcing their bodies together. Sameen’s hands were rough on Roots’ hips, their grip almost bruising, but Root felt like she was being held together. Like any second it would all be too much and Sameen was the only thing keeping her together.

Root’s heart raced, beating against her chest and pulsing in her ears. She pulled away to suck in air and Sameen moved down to her neck. She sucked on Root’s pulse and Root’s nails dug into Sameen’s skin. Sameen’s soft moan made bumps raise on Root’s skin. She wanted Sameen to devour her.

Root ran her hands down Sameen’s back, slipping her hands under Sameen’s bathing suit bottoms. Sameen twitched, her teeth sinking into Root’s neck. Root’s eyes flashed white with pain and she felt her stomach clench. She gasped loudly and Sameen pulled away.

“Are you ok?” Sameen asked, nervously. “I didn’t mean to bite so hard.”

Root shook her head, her body warming pleasantly. “No, I…” she ran a hand over her hair. “I think I liked it.”

Sameen raised an eyebrow, suppressing a smile. “I wouldn’t have expected that.”

“Didn’t I say not to underestimate me?” Root asked innocently. She wrapped her arms around Sameen and flipped them over with a grunt. Sameen stared up at her with wide eyes. “I always win.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, grinning, and hooked her legs around Root’s waist forcing her to drop down. Root leaned forward, lightly nipping at Sameen’s lips. As fun as it was to let Sameen lead, Root was enjoying this. Sameen raised her head, trying to get a proper kiss, but Root pulled away.

“I’m in charge,” Root said. She pushed Sameen’s shoulders down. “You can wait your turn.”

Sameen’s eyes widened, but she nodded. Sameen talked a tough game, but Root had a sneaking suspicion she liked being bossed around. Root dropped her head to Sameen’s neck. She bit down, softly at first. She bit harder until Sameen moaned. Root pulled back, looking at the mark she left on Sameen’s neck.

“I’m not the only one who likes that,” she said, smirking. “Let’s see what else you like.”

She slid down Sameen’s body until she was eye level with her sports bra. Root slide her fingers under the band and moved it up, exposing Sameen’s amazing boobs. Root just looked at them for a second. She hadn’t seen them since Valentine’s day last year and she’d missed them.

“Are you just going to stare at them?” Sameen asked. Her hands came up to cover them. “Are they weird?”

Root pulled Sameen’s hands away, shaking her head. “They’re perfect. I’m jealous.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “You have great boobs. I’d love to see them sometimes.”

“You’ll get your turn!” Root giggled.

She dropped her forehead to Sameen’s stomach. She’d been thinking of this for a year now. Every time she touched herself, it was to thoughts of Sameen. Sameen’s legs, Sameen’s arms, Sameen’s dark eyes. Root lifted her head licked Sameen’s firm stomach.

The taste of Sameen’s sweat was intoxicating. Root pushed herself up onto her elbows, Sameen’s legs still weighing her down. She ran a hand over Sameen’s breast, watching her face. She squeezed lightly, then harder until she saw Sameen’s eyes flutter. Apparently, Sameen liked it hard everywhere.

“Take this off,” Root said, pulling on Sameen’s sports bra. She let Sameen sit up and pulled the bra over her head. She shoved Sameen back down, smiling when Sameen’s back thudded against the floor and she gasped. “Ok, I’m getting it.”

Sameen opened her mouth to speak, but Root leaned forward, pulling a brown nipple into her mouth. The soft groan from above her told her she’d made the right move. Root shifted, pushing a thigh into Sameen’s center and bring up her hand to hold Sameen’s other breast.

Sameen’s whole body was on fire, Root noticed as she slowly drew her tongue over Sameen’s nipple, like she was about to burst into flames. Root looked up, smiling at the red blush creeping up Sameen’s neck. She pushed her thigh into Sameen, biting down at the same time. Sameen’s mouth dropped open and her eyes squeeze shut, a moan ripping from her throat.

It made Root feel powerful to know that Sameen was hers. That no one else had been here, had touched her. No one knew her like Root did. She drew her nails down Sameen’s side, moving to look down at her face. Sameen was twitching beneath her, but Root needed more.

She caught Sameen’s mouth between her own, her hands wandering down to slide over Sameen’s legs. Sameen’s arms wrapped around Root’s shoulders, holding them together.

Sameen sank her teeth into Root’s lips and Root groaned, her hips jerking forward, sliding against Sameen’s thigh and teasing her with the friction. Root pulled back just enough to gasp into Sameen’s mouth.

“You’re so hot,” Root breathed. Sameen ran her lips across Root’s jaw and Root closed her eyes, losing herself. She swallowed, her body sweating. “I want to taste you.”

Sameen’s legs clenched and they were pulled closer. Root didn’t think that was possible, but their slick stomachs slid together and Sameen’s teeth ran across her neck.

“Hello?” John’s voice called from outside the fort. “Are you in – Shit!”

Root jumped away from Sameen, landing on a pile of blankets. She pushed her hair from her face and turned to see Sameen hurriedly pulling on her sports bra, her jaw clenched. She took a deep breath and crawled out of the tent to see John standing in the doorway, his face beet red.

“I am so sorry,” he started, holding his hands up. “I didn’t- you didn’t-“

Root sighed and waved her hands, cutting him off. “It’s fine. It’s…you didn’t know. We shouldn’t have been doing anything out here.”

Sameen appeared from inside the tent. “We need to install a fucking lock.”

John swallowed, still looking petrified. “Uh, there’s pizza inside.”

“Thanks,” Root said, slightly out of breath. “We’ll be right there.”

John’s eyes dropped to her neck. He turned even redder. “I’d, um, wear a shirt. With a collar.”

Root blushed, clamping a hand over the bite mark Sameen had left. She turned and ran up to the second level of the treehouse where she kept her clothes. She had a button down somewhere.

She heard heavy footsteps behind her and turned to see Sameen, smiling ruefully. She pushed loose hair behind her ear.

“Maybe…” Root sighed regretfully, “we shouldn’t have sex when there are five other people around.”

Sameen nodded and crossed her arms, leaning on the doorframe. “Probably.” She looked hopeful. “Road trip?”

Root grinned. “Road trip.”


	30. Summer in the City

Sameen pushed their cart into the camping section, looking around for the cooking supplies. She and Root were shopping for their road trip. They were leaving in a few days and were finally getting around to stocking up. Root looked up at her from where she was sitting inside the cart.

“Ok,” she started, going through the list on her phone, “we don’t need too much. Just the basics. A few pots and pans, a grate for the fire, s’mores sticks.”

Sameen stopped walking and squatted down, glancing over the pans. “It’s going to be hard to take care of these cast irons when we’re on the road.”

“We’ll be stopping in motels fairly often,” Root pointed out, hanging her arms over the edge of the cart. She wiggled her fingers. “Just give me some.”

Sameen smiled and chose a few different sizes. They’d saved up more than they needed, so they were a little less strict with their budget. She passed the pans up to Root and watched her arrange them in front of her. Sameen had no idea how Root had saved money while taking care of her mother. She was really amazing sometimes.

Sameen looked around at the camping equipment. The past couple of months had been nice. Nothing and everything had changed between her and Root. They still did all the same things that they used to, but it was different. Sameen didn’t have to pretend she wasn’t looking at Root. Root wasn’t afraid to reach out and touch her.

She wished they’d gotten together sooner. Root had joked about a wasted year, but every time they kissed, Sameen was reminded that she hadn’t spoken up sooner. They could have been together last summer if she hadn’t freaked out.

Sighing, Sameen remembered what Mrs. Reese had told her last week. Everyone moves at their own pace and Sameen was allowed to react to things her way. Of course, Mrs. Reese had then told her she had to make sure that Root never felt worried about their relationship because Sameen wasn’t communicating.

Sameen crossed her arms and turned around, pretending to compare the dehydrated fruit options. Root chatted idly about various ways to clean cast irons. Sameen didn’t want to mess this up, her relationship with Root. She wanted it to last, but whenever she let herself think about how she felt, or thought she felt, Sameen got frustrated.

It was hard sometimes to tell the difference between what she actually felt and what she wanted to feel. She wanted to be in love with Root. She wanted to be happy. She wanted to be carefree and friendly and stable. She felt…something.

She wondered if acting like a person, doing all the right things, would make her feel what she was supposed to feel. If she was there for Root, if she hung out with her brothers, if she did all she could to be her best self, would it be enough?

“Sameen?”

Sameen shook her head and turn to Root. “Yeah? Sorry, I was distracted.”

Root looked at her an odd expression on her face. By now, Sameen knew that look well. That was the look that said ‘I don’t know what Sameen is thinking.’ She smiled.

“You know I like you, right?”

Root rolled her eyes. “Obviously. Come here.” She reached out, shifting onto her knees.

Sameen closed the distance between them, rising onto her toes to lean over the cart. They kissed softly, not in any hurry. Sameen liked it when they had time to themselves, when they could take it easy. That’s what this summer was all about, taking it easy together.

Root pulled away, leaning back and checking on Sameen. She put a hand on Sameen’s arm. “You can talk to me, if you want. God knows, I have feelings at you all the time.”

Sameen shrugged. “I don’t have any feelings to talk about.”

A shadow passed over Root’s face and Sameen regretted her words. She knew that her casual mentions of the way she had trouble made Root nervous. Root always held on to Sameen like she was afraid Sameen was going to bolt. Sameen didn’t know what to do about that, so she just kept trying to say the right things and hope for the best.

“You know what I mean,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I don’t have the kind of feelings that need therapy.”

“Mrs. Reese still on you about that?” Root asked.

Sameen nodded and rolled the cart forward so she could reach the s’more sticks. “Yeah, she wants me to talk to someone. I said I’d consider it, but I don’t want to.”

“You don’t have to,” Root said and looked at her phone. “Do you want to do something after this? We still have a few hours until Lionel’s graduation.”

“Nah,” Sameen said, handing Root the sticks, “I want to help him get ready. Graduating from 8th grade is an important milestone and I’m trying to be a better big sister.”

Root grinned, her head tilting. “But Sameen, you’re too sma-“

“Don’t,” Sameen growled. She pushed the cart hard, knocking Root onto her butt. “I swear to God, Root, if you spend this whole trip making short jokes, I’m leaving you on the side of the road. I’ve had it up to here with…what are you doing?”

Root had raised to her knees, putting a hand to her face like she was shading her eyes. She looked around worried, her sight line above Sameen’s head.

“Sameen?” Root asked, sounding nervous, “where did you go? I can’t see you!”

Sameen rolled her eyes and pushed the cart again, making Root grab onto the handlebar to steady herself. Sameen glared into Root’s eyes, inches from her own.

“The side of the road in Nevada. Good luck in Vegas. Better learn a good act now.”

Root winked at Sameen, her mouth scrunching to the side. “Sweetie, I’m already…good.”

“Oh my god,” Sameen mumbled, her face turning red. “I hate you so much.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root grinned to herself. School was over and summer had started. She couldn’t believe it was time to leave for their trip. After Lionel’s graduation, the school year was over. They’d spent the night together and then Root had gone back home yesterday to finish packing. Now, it was morning and it was time to leave.

Root zipped her big duffel bag shut and hurried out of her room and down the stairs. She glanced at her watch, 7:45am. Sameen was on her way over now and then they were hitting the road. Root stuck her head into the living room, looking for her mom.

“Mom?” Root called around. “Where are you?”

Her mother had taken over her job at Greer’s for the summer. Mr. Greer always opened the ice cream shop at 8:00 am for some reason, but right now, Root was glad because it meant she could check in with her mom before she left.

“In the kitchen,” her mom called back.

Root turned around and crossed the hall into the kitchen. Her mom was sitting at the table, white polo on. She was the same size as Root, so she’d just borrowed Root’s uniform. Root leaned against the island across from her mother.

“Ok, I’m leaving soon,” Root said, trying not to sound as frustrated as she always did around her mom now. “You know your schedule?”

Her mother nodded, not looking up from her cereal. Root waited for her to say something, but she didn’t. Root rolled her eyes.

“I’ve paid the bills through August, so you don’t have to worry about any of that. There are a bunch of bags in the freezer; they’re all meal prep. I know how much I hate having to worry about food after a shift, so just throw the bags in the slow cooker on low before you go and they’ll be ready when you get home.”

“Thanks,” her mom mumbled.

Root sighed and rubbed her face. She didn’t know what to do to fix her relationship with her mom. She wasn’t willing to pretend to be something she wasn’t, but she didn’t want their relationship to be strained forever. It made her angry that the burden was on her to repair them.

“I’ll call once a week to check in, but you can call Mrs. Reese if you need anything. You can also call me whenever; I’ll have my phone with me the whole time.”

Her mother just nodded again and pushed her food around the bowl. Root lightly kicked the island, unsure of what to do. A horn honked outside and she jumped. Sameen was here. She glanced at her mother again.

“Ok, I’ll see you in a couple months,” Root said softly. “I love you.”

Her mother smiled up at her and nodded. Root scoffed and left the kitchen hurrying up the stairs and into her room. She locked the door from the inside and slid the chain into place.

She’d upgraded to a stronger chain for this trip. Her brain told her she could trust her mother now, but her stomach twisted with anxiety when she thought about leaving her room open. There was just too much history.

Root slid her window open and tossed her duffel bag out onto the overhang. She stuck a leg out and dipped under the window. Sliding it shut, she took one last glance around her room from the outside. Only some of her stuff was still in there, most of it was at Sameen’s. If something happened, it wouldn’t be a total loss.

“Hey, nerd! Let’s go!”

Root turned around and peeked over the edge of the roof. Sameen was standing there, her arms raised, ready to catch Root’s bag.

Sameen yelled up at her again. “Let’s get this show on the road!”

Root grinned and tossed her bag down. Sameen caught it with a grunt. She dropped it to the ground and held her arms up again. Root raised her eyebrows.

“Trying to make me fall for you?” Root asked. “Too late!”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Just jump, loser.”

Root sat down and slid forward until her legs were daggling off the edge. She pushed off, weightless for a brief second before Sameen caught her with strong arms. Sliding down Sameen’s body until her feet were on the ground, she pressed a quick kiss on Sameen’s cheek.

When Sameen tried to kiss her for real, Root ducked away and picked up her bag. ‘Let’s get this show on the road!”

She didn’t have to look back to know Sameen was rolling her eyes as she raced to the car. Tossing her bag on the roof, she turned around, watching Sameen jog up. Sameen opened the back door and stepped up onto the ledge. As she tied Root’s bag down, Root stuck her head into the car, admiring the bed they’d set up.

Root had bought three new blankets for the trip and they’d taken almost all the blankets in the treehouse. It was the comfiest car/bed ever. She wished they could have brought Bear along, but Mrs. Reese had vetoed the idea.

When Sameen was done, Root hurried around the car and jumped into the passenger seat. She turned to grin at Sameen as the car started.

“Ready?” Sameen asked her, looking excited. “Adventure is out there!”

Root nodded enthusiastically and rolled down her window. The car rolled away from the curb and they headed out of town. Root stuck her torso out of the window, the wind whipping through her hair.

They were leaving Bishop, going away for months. Root was going to be free from this place for longer than she ever had before. She raised her arms and screamed with joy. Root and Sameen were going to be together forever. She wanted to believe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's go!!


	31. Spread Your Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, this chapter is pretty long and about 1/3 of it is ~sexual~  
> If you'd like to skip it, stop reading when you see the word "Postcards" and move on to the next section.
> 
> SUPPLEMENTAL MATERIALS:  
> 1\. Playlist: http://maybesomedaysameen.tumblr.com/post/165265448378/the-vast-thing-a-roadtrip-playlist-x-your-girl  
> \-- Follow the link!  
> \-- Make sure to click on the cassette to see what Root and Sameen named their songs!
> 
> 2\. Polaroids: http://maybesomedaysameen.tumblr.com/post/165282299593/the-vast-thing-road-trip

Sameen tapped her thumbs against the wheel in time to the music. Root had made them a cassette because Ruth was old and couldn’t play CDs. Sameen didn’t mind though. When they got bored of their songs, they could switch over to radio and find something local to listen to.

It had only been eight hours since they’d left Bishop, but Root was already so relaxed. Sameen glanced over her, hanging half out the window trying to take a picture of a bridge up ahead. When they’d crossed the town line this morning, Root had slumped in her seat, like all tension had left her body.

Sameen had known that Root felt trapped in the small town, that she felt like she was too big for her skin sometimes, but seeing her now, so goddamn happy, made Sameen think about the future. What could Root do if she was out in the world? Maybe she was meant for big things. If she thought about it really hard, seeing Root like this made Sameen happy.

Sameen looked out her own window. There was nothing around for miles, but desert. Endless brown plains sprinkled with shrubs. She’d had to put her wipers on a ways back because the dirt and dust was sticking to her windshield. It was also hot. Hotter than Sameen had ever thought it could get. She glanced at the mercury thermometer she’d stuck to the windshield. It was 104 degrees.

“Root,” Sameen said, trying to get her attention. “Close the window!”

Root didn’t hear her, just leaned even further out the window. Sameen stretched across the seats and stuck her hand into the pocket of Root’s shorts. Root’s Polaroid camera clicked loudly. Root shouted and dropped back into the seat, twisting Sameen’s arm painfully.

“Ow! Root, what the hell?”

“Stop the car!” Root yelled, put her head out the window to look behind them. “Pull over!”

Sameen pulled onto the curb and Root was out of the car before it had fully stopped. Sameen threw the car into neutral, hurriedly unbuckled herself, and ran after Root. She growled; it was too hot to be exercising.

Root ran down the side of the road along the concrete railing, sneakers kicking up dirt, already a hundred feet away. God, Sameen thought, that girl was fast. When the blockade ended, and the side of the road was grass again, Root ran down the hill.

“Root!” Sameen called down, slipping slightly on the grass. She watched Root pick something up and look at it. “What is that?”

Root turned to look at her, grinning, and started back up the hill. “The wind snatched the picture from my camera.”

Sameen frowned and crossed her arms. “This was for a polaroid? I thought something bad had happened.”

Root stopped next to her and shook her head. “Nope. Just didn’t want to lose the memory.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, but she smiled. Root was such a dork. They started back towards the car and Root threaded their fingers together. Root really cared about things, Sameen thought, watching Root’s face move between the photo and the real bridge.

It wasn’t always a bad thing, that Root cared. Sameen dropped Root’s hand when they got to the car, moving to her door. She pulled it open and slid into the car, shaking her head. Root was obsessed with the weirdest things, but at least she was obsessed with Sameen.

Sameen shut her door and buckled in. A bright flash made her squint across the stick shift at Root. Waving the picture in the air, Root smiled at her.

“I wonder if there’s a way to build some sort of cage the picture falls into, so I can take pictures in the wind.” Root mused. She shrugged and reached back to put the camera behind Sameen’s seat. “I’m hungry.”

“Well, put your seatbelt on and we’ll find some food,” Sameen grumbled, shifting into first and pulling back onto the road. “And roll up the window, it’s fucking hot.”

“Oh,” Root said, smirking, “sorry. Should I get out?”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root stared up at the stars, hands under her head. She was lying on top of their car at a campsite just outside of Socorro, New Mexico while Sameen talked with Mrs. Reese on the phone. They’d spent the day visiting the National Radio Astronomy Observatory, touring the museum and looking at the Very Large Array. Root hadn’t spent a lot of time recently just looking at the stars and listening to the planets screech and chirp on her radio.

She’d been busy with school, friends, and Sameen. She didn’t miss being lonely, but sometimes she missed her alone time. Of course, she still kept tabs on the NASA website and read up on alien theories and things, but it wasn’t quite the same. Looking at space, thinking about the Great Wide Somewhere, had always grounded her and made her feel hopeful about the future.

Root loved the Array, it made her feel like she wasn’t crazy. Other people were out there listening, imagining a bigger world. Maybe Root would work there when she was older or work at NASA. Somewhere where she could work with computers and still pursue her own passions. The people at the Observatory would probably encourage her to work on robots and AI.

Root sighed and sat up, wrapping her arms around knees. Her radio was turned to the ISS station and right now, they were listening to Saturn. She didn’t believe in fate or God. How could she when there was so much randomness and chaos in the world? There wasn’t a plan or a person leading them through the sky. There were just people.

Looking at the stars was nice, though. Knowing there was something out there, alive, trying to understand the universe, just like her, was calming.

Sameen stepped out of the car and rested her arms on the roof. She reached out to turn Root’s radio down slightly.

“The family is still alive,” Sameen said.

Root chuckled. “I should hope so, we’ve only been gone for a week or so.”

Sameen shrugged and hoisted herself up onto the roof. Root watched her hook her knee over the edge and roll onto her back. Her shirt clung to her skin, damp with sweat. There was no AC to escape into out here and Sameen hadn’t stopped sweating since they’d left home.

They hadn’t had sex yet, even though it had been a week. Root wasn’t sure how to bring it up again or if it was just supposed to happen naturally. They also hadn’t stayed in a motel yet and Root didn’t want to lose her virginity in the back of a car like every other girl in Bishop. So, she would bide her time until the moment was right.

Sameen turned her head to look at Root. “You ok?”

“Yeah,” Root smiled, “why?”

“I don’t know. You were really talkative at the satellite place, but you’ve hardly said a word since.”

Root dropped her head back to stare up at the stars, her radio lightly buzzing by her feet. “I’m feeling sort of weird. Like…I can’t explain it. Empty, but sad, but I’m not sad?”

Sameen watched her, her face serious. Root knew that Sameen was thinking about her own emotions and probably feeling like she was failing Root by not being able to relate. Root didn’t care that Sameen’s emotions were different than hers, but sometimes she did wish she had someone to talk to. She considered calling Mrs. Reese for a moment, but decided against it. Maybe she’d call Claire later to chat.

“Don’t worry about it, Sameen,” Root said, reaching out to hold Sameen’s hand. “I’m ok. Just…feeling small in the universe, I guess.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Sameen asked, sitting up. “I could find some cake or something for you.”

Root laughed, closing her eyes. “Cake?”

“Yeah,” Sameen smirked. “Girls eat their feelings, right? I’ve seen that on TV. We passed a 24-hour diner on the way here. We could get cake and pancakes or something.”

“I just want to look at the stars and listen to the planets right now. Maybe later though.”

Sameen nodded. “Do you want me to go in the car and give you some space?”

“No, Sameen,” Root said, turning the radio up and lying back down, “Space is big enough for the both of us.”

They laid under the stars for another hour, just holding hands and breathing. Eventually, Root heard a soft snore and smiled. Sameen had fallen asleep, but her hand still clutched Root’s. Root dropped her head to the side and watched Sameen breath.

Sameen’s chest rose and fell slowly, the moon shinning on her skin. Root debated letting her sleep up here, but knew Sameen would be grumpy in the morning. The best part about camping was getting to sleep with Sameen under the stars every night.

Root had put her foot down after the first night and demanded that all campsites they stopped at had to have showers. Sameen was too sweaty to sleep in their bed and Root was not going to stop at a laundromat every two days to wash their blankets.

Another perk of camping near showers was that Root kept getting glimpses of Sameen naked. If they hadn’t been girlfriends, she would have felt creepy, but now? Now it was her duty to see Sameen naked and compliment her on her butt. Root reached out to shake Sameen awake.

“Sweetie,” Root crooned softly, “wake up.”

“Hmm?” Sameen sucked in a breath. “What?”

Root grinned and sat up. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed.”

Sameen nodded sleepily and climbed off the car. She reached up as Root slid down, catching her with strong arms. Root pressed a kiss to Sameen’s lips.

“You’re so strong,” Root sighed happily.

Sameen quickly hooked an arm under Root’s legs and swept her off her feet. Root laughed with surprise.

“Are you going to carry me to the showers?” Root asked, putting her arms around Sameen’s neck.

Sameen smirked. “Only if you shower with me.”

“It’s a deal!”

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Sameen glared up at the string lights hanging over her head. She was snuggled up in the bed, burrowed into the blankets, as Root drove. They’d been doing so well for the past two weeks, no fighting or arguing. Just driving and kissing. No sex yet, but they planned to stay in a motel in a few days and Sameen was ready. Right now, though, she was only ready to punch Root.

“I can’t believe you’d say that,” Sameen growled. “2007 Gerard Way is unarguably the best Gerard Way. Welcome to the Black Parade outfit with the long black hair. Nothing beats that.”

“You’re so wrong,” Root said from the front seat. “2011 is the best year. Red hair, black leather pants, Danger Days.”

“Danger Days came out in 2010,” Sameen rolled her eyes. “So, your argument is flawed.”

“They toured for most of 2011, though, so I’m right.”

Sameen sat up and looked out the window. They were somewhere in Nevada. Root was taking them to the Extra-Terrestrial Highway. They’d spent most of the past couple weeks hiking around and going to various museums and landmarks. Sameen was tanning nicely. She looked down at her dark arms and chuckled.

Root wasn’t tan at all. She put on 100SPF sunscreen every morning, in preparation for the desert sun. Sameen was sure she’d forget at some point and get a sunburn. Root had such fair skin. Sameen loved how soft and delicate she was. Root’s muscles were hidden along her long limbs and Sameen ran her hands over them as much as she could.

She spotted a Dairy Queen symbol on a road sign and turned to Root.

“Hey, take the next exit. I want ice cream.”

“It’s 11pm,” Root said, but she turned her blinker on and changed lanes. “I don’t know how your stomach can handle all of this.”

Sameen laughed and stood up, crouching over, her back pressed to the roof. “Are you not going to get ice cream?”

“I am,” Root laughed, meeting Sameen’s eyes in the mirror. “I’m just gonna be sick after.”

Sameen crawled to the front seats and squeezed between them. She dropped into the passenger seat and looked at Root. Root tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as she checked her mirror. Sameen liked to watch Root drive. She preferred to be behind the wheel most of the time, but Root was always so alert when she was driving.

She sat with her back straight, constantly checking her mirrors and speedometer. Sameen had gotten pulled over for speeding in New Mexico, but Root always seemed to know where the cops were hiding. Root glanced at her from the corner of her eye.

“What?” she laughed. She reached up to touch her nose. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Sameen shrugged. “Just looking.”

“Looking at what?” Root turned the wheel to merge onto the exit ramp.

Sameen leaned towards her, resting on the wide armrests between them. “You.”

“Me?”

“Yup,” Sameen said, her eyes dropping to Root’s lips. “You.”

Root kept her eyes fixed on the road, but her hands clenched around the wheel. “Stop it. I am not having sex on the side of the road.”

Sameen batted her eyes. “Who said anything about sex?”

Root rolled her eyes and glanced in her side mirror. “Please. Like you weren’t fishing.”

“I was just admiring you! What, am I not allowed to think my girlfriend is pretty?”

Root pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot and shifted the car into neutral. She unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to look at Sameen. “I think you want in my pants and you’re trying to be subtle.”

Sameen just looked at Root for a second. She couldn’t tell how serious Root was being. Did she really think Sameen just wanted to have sex? Did she not know how attached Sameen was to her? Sameen sighed.

“Root. Listen to me. We could never have sex and I would still think you were the most beautiful thing on Earth. And in Space.”

Root’s eyes fluttered and she blushed. The corner of her mouth tilted up. “Really?”

“Really,” Sameen confirmed, nodding. “Even though you think 2011 Gerard Way is the most attractive.”

Root reached out to tug on the end of Sameen’s hair. “You should dye your hair red.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and slipped her feet into her flip-flops. “I told you months ago: I will never look good as a ginger. I don’t have the complexion.”

Root grinned and opened her door, stepping out of her car. “I don’t know. You’re pretty complex.”

“Gross,” Sameen grumbled, getting out of the car and shutting the door behind her. “For that pun, you’re buying the ice cream.”

“Would that make me your Sugar Daddy?” Root asked, taking Sameen’s hand as they walked to the Dairy Queen’s entrance.

Sameen groaned loudly. “I am never going to call you Daddy, so stop trying.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen watched Root as she chatted about various places they’d been. They were at a motel, finally spending the night in a real bed. Root had spread out all the postcards they’d collected and was trying to decide who to send what to. Sameen couldn’t care less.

She traced Root’s ear with her eyes, imagining her tongue running along the edge. Sameen licked her lips as she lingered on Root’s jaw, strong and defined. Sameen wanted to press her finger into Root’s cheek and force her mouth open. She would swallow Root’s gasps and bruise Root’s lips.

Sameen moved on to Root’s neck. She pictured her fingers wrapping around the pale skin, Root’s moans vibrating in her throat. Sameen would swallow those, too. She’d hold onto Root until she’d drunk her fill.

“Um, Sameen?” Root’s voice said, pulling her into the present. “Are…you ok?”

Sameen met Root’s eyes and Root shivered. She quickly gathered her postcards and tossed them onto the floor. Sameen surged forward, capturing Root’s mouth and yanking their bodies together. Root moaned into her mouth, her arms flying up to wrap around Sameen’s waist.

Sameen slid her hands down Root’s back and into her back pockets. She turned them, tossing Root onto her back. Root stared up at her, eyes wide, a blush spreading across her chest. Sameen leaned down, straddling Root’s thigh. She crushed their mouths together, sucking in air through her nose.

Root was intoxicating, the feel of her skin under Sameen’s hands, the way her lips moved. Sameen pushed Root’s tank top, lifting it over her bra, and resting trembling hands on Root’s stomach. Root grabbed Sameen’s hands and put them on her breasts, moaning.

Sameen pushed Root’s bra up, out of the way, staring down at the pale skin exposed to her. Root was beautiful. She always was, but seeing her so vulnerable and trusting made Sameen’s heart beat faster. She pulled Root’s bra and tanktop over her head and tossed them onto the floor.

She watched Root’s chest rise and fall with her heaving breathing and sighed, happy. Root’s eyes flickered over her face, her mouth slightly open. Reaching up, Root yanked Sameen down, crashing their mouths together. Sameen ran her hands up and down Root’s sides as they kissed. She clamped her teeth around Root’s bottom lip, biting until Root gasped with pain.

Sameen licked the tender spot, then scooted herself down until she was eye level with Root’s breasts. If she had the self-control, she might have looked at them for a while, admired them, but she didn’t. She ran her tongue over Root’s nipple. Root’s hips jumped and her thigh pressed against Sameen’s center.

Sameen ran her mouth over Root, leaving hot, wet kisses, until she reached Root’s side. Sameen sucked on Root’s waist, harder and harder until Root gasped. She sunk her teeth into Root’s side, marking her, claiming her. Root was hers.

“Fuck,” Root gasped above her. “I like that way more than I should.”

Sameen chuckled against Root’s chest and pushed herself onto her elbows. She took in Root’s red face and bruised lips. Root’s hands where tangled in her hair, eyes wild. Sameen kept their eyes locked as she ran a hard tongue over the mark she’d made. Root’s eyes fluttered, but she kept them open.

Slowly, Sameen slid down Root’s body, feeling the button on Root’s shorts drag along her sternum. She lowered Root’s zipper with her teeth and reached up to open her button. Root’s mouth opened, her tongue peeking out to run over her swollen lip.

Sameen hooked her fingers in Root’s underwear and pulled them and the shorts off quickly, tossing them to the side. Root ran her hands over her body, reaching down to rest between her legs, covering herself.

“Don’t look,” Root said, her flushed face getting redder. “It’s weird looking.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and gently grasped Root’s hands. “How am I supposed to taste you if I can’t look at it?”

Root sucked in a shaky breath and nodded, letting Sameen move her hands away. She clutched the blankets.

Sameen ran her hands along the inside of Root’s thighs, marveling at their softness. She wished she could touch Root constantly, always have her hands on some part of her. Sameen dragged her lips down Root’s legs, nipping at the sensitive skin.

She ran her fingers over Root’s center, watching how Root twitched. Root was so wet, and she wondered if Root knew that she made Sameen feel the same way. Root hadn’t done anything yet and Sameen was already desperate.

Sameen dropped onto her stomach, moving her hand aside. She licked Root, slowly and carefully. Root whimpered softly and Sameen licked her again. She sucked Root into her mouth and Root’s fingers flew to her head, tangling in Sameen’s thick hair.

Sameen lifted slightly to run a finger along Root’s entrance. She glanced up.

“Can I go in?” she asked, teasing her with a fingertip.

Root swallowed loudly and nodded, her stomach trembling. Sameen pushed into Root, smiling as Root gasped above her. She watched Root’s face as she moved. Root’s eyes clenched shut and she sucked her swollen lip into her mouth.

Sameen added another finger, Root’s hips bucking. Sameen wanted to be closer to Root, wanted to feel her shake. She moved forward, crawling up Root’s body, keeping her hand moving. She licked Root’s stomach, nipping at her belly button and sucking just beneath Root’s breasts.

Root’s hands moved from Sameen’s hair to her back. She dug her nails into Sameen’s skin, moaning loudly. Sameen’s heart raced as she watched Root gasp. Root was beautiful, her brow furrowed and her chest heaving. Sameen felt powerful, like each second Root lay beneath her brought her one step closer to godhood.

“More,” Root gasped, “I need more.”

Sameen dipped down, scrapping her teeth along Root’s neck. She bit down as hard as she dared and Root cried out.

“Sameen,” Root rasped, “It feels so good.”

Lighting raced down Sameen’s spine and she knew she would sell her soul to hear Root say her name like that again. She moved her head to Root’s breast and sucked her nipple into her mouth. She felt Root clench around her fingers and bit down, finally pushing Root over the edge.

Root bucked beneath her, but Sameen held steady, not stopping until Root reached down to push her hand away. Sameen heard her swallow hard and raised up onto her hands. She looked down on Root, smirking.

Root’s eyes shot open and she flipped them over. Sameen’s back hit the bed with a thump and she gasped. Root’s eyes were almost black. She looked intense with her messy hair and dark, wet lips.

Root dipped down and kissed Sameen, their teeth clattering together before they found a rhythm. Sameen felt hot and already so close to the edge. Watching Root squirm under her had made her body tight and she felt like she could explode.

Root pushed Sameen’s head to the side to get at her neck. Root’s hands came between them and she grabbed the front of Sameen’s t-shirt. She pulled Sameen up to a sitting position and released her mouth.

“Take it off,” Root growled, tugging on Sameen’s shirt.

Sameen yanked her shirt and sports bra off. Root drank in Sameen’s chest, before shoving her back down. It was surprising, Root’s aggression, but Sameen had never felt more turned on in her life. Root’s nails scrapped down her stomach, leaving red trails, and Sameen gasped, her blood rushing in her ears.

Root pushed their mouths together, her hands coming up to palm Sameen’s breasts. Sameen couldn’t focus on any one sensation, her head spinning. Root squeezed her nipple and Sameen had to twist her head away to desperate suck in air.

“Oh my god,” she panted, trying to rub her legs together for friction, but Root was between them and Sameen got no relief. “Fuck.”

Sameen reached for her shorts, trying to open them. Root grabbed her wrists, squeezing painfully and slammed them into the pillows above Sameen’s head.

“Did I say,” Root grinned, wolfishly, “that you could touch yourself?”

Sameen swallowed hard, trying to pull her arms away, but Root was strong. God, she was strong. “If you won’t touch me, I will.”

Root winked at her, her face scrunching. Normally, Sameen would find it funny or cute, but right now, that gleam in Root’s eyes was terrifying.

Root dragged her lips down Sameen’s body, nipping at her breast and licking her stomach. She hovered above the button to Sameen’s pants. Sameen watched as Root used her mouth to unbutton Sameen’s shorts and dragged the zipper down with her teeth.

Sameen’s stomach clenched. “What? How?”

Root smiled, smug, as she pulled off Sameen’s shorts and underwear. “I may have practiced.”

“On who?”

“On a teddy bear.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and pressed a hand to her forehead. “That shouldn’t be hot, but here we are.”

Root pushed Sameen’s legs up and slowly licked her, her eyes never leaving Sameen. Sameen moaned loudly and dropped her head back onto the pillow, her eyes squeezing shut. Root’s mouth was hot and wet and hard. Sameen couldn’t catch her breath or stop the low moans from ripping out of her mouth.

Root’s fingers pushed into her and she gasped, her back arching and her fingers twisting in the blanket. She felt like she was flying apart, her heart trying to beat out of her chest. She felt Root adjust, but couldn’t open her eyes.

Root’s teeth sank into her neck and Sameen almost screamed. It was all too much and not enough. It wasn’t enough.

“I need…” she gasped, trying to piece together a sentence. “It’s not…”

Root hummed into Sameen’s neck and she pulled back. She moved her free hand to Sameen’s neck, her thumb pushed painfully into Sameen’s windpipe, her other hand still moving. Root was so long, Sameen thought. Sameen stared up at her as it got harder to breath.

Root’s thumb slid to the side and she tightened her hand around Sameen’s neck, slowly. The pain at her throat and Root’s fingers in her center drove Sameen crazy. She bucked wildly, racing towards her climax. It wasn’t enough. Sameen whimpered.

Root leaned forward, she blew softly on Sameen’s ear, lightly nipping. Sameen felt her grin, her breath hot.

“I want you to come.”

Sameen groaned, her back arching painfully as she peaked. Root took her hand away and Sameen sucked in air through clenched teeth. Finally, she dropped back to the bed and Root pulled her other hand away.

Sameen stared at the ceiling, her body trembling. That was amazing. She’d been masturbating for years, but that was way more intense. Was this what sex was always like? Or was it just Root?

She turned her head to the side to see Root lying beside her, grinning. She rolled her eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

Root raised her eyebrows. “Like what?”

Sameen shifted awkwardly. “Like you just won the lotto or something.”

“But I did,” Root said, smiling at her tenderly. “You’re my fortune.”

“Just don’t spend me all in one place, ok?”

Root laughed and moved towards her, snuggling up to Sameen’s side. She threw a leg over Sameen’s and pulled her close.

“I’m all sweaty,” Sameen said, reaching up to push hair out of Root’s face. “You hate that.”

Root hummed, content. “I made you sweaty. It’s different.”

“Is it?” Sameen asked. “Good to know.”

“We should do this again sometime,” Root said, her voice suspiciously casual.

Sameen chuckled. “Give me a few minutes.”

Root nodded, smiling, and relaxed.

Sameen sighed and ran her hand over Root’s head. Sameen had been worried that the sex would be bad or that they would like different things, but it had been perfect. She was glad she’d waited to lose her virginity with someone she cared about.

She did care about Root, all doubts aside. Sameen couldn’t imagine her life without Root. Who would she be if she hadn’t made a friend in Bishop? If Root hadn’t been so fucking persistent? Sameen was as happy as she could get, though. She thought she might even love Root.

Sameen gasped softly. She loved Root. This warm feeling inside of her might be love? She wanted to chalk it up to the sex and store it away for later, but she knew it was always there. When Root stared at the stars in wonder. When she talked about the future and Sameen was always there. When she laughed and Sameen felt her stomach warm and her heart beat faster.

“Sameen?” Root asked, scooting back so she could look at Sameen’s face. “Are you ok?”

Nodding, Sameen reached up to push her hair back. “Yeah, I just…”

Root watched her for a moment. “Just what?”

Sameen closed her eyes, disappointed in herself. “I really like you.”

“I really like you, too,” Root grinned. She tapped a finger on Sameen’s nose, making her open her eyes. “You’re going to fall in love with me, Sameen. I just know it.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and rolled them over, trapping Root under her.

“I thought you needed a minute,” Root joked, her head tilting.

Sameen dipped her head down. “Shut up, nerd.”

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Root watched Sameen hike ahead of her, her rain boots splashing in the mud. They’d finally made it to Oregon, almost a month into their trip. They hadn’t gotten very far the past couple of weeks because they kept stopping to have sex.

Root wasn’t complaining, though. They were still doing everything on their list, just with the added bonus of orgasms. It was honestly a dream come true. She had an amazing girlfriend, she was out of Bishop, and she had a sort of tan. Things were good.

Sameen turned around to glare at her. “Will you hurry up? I have to pee!”

“Just go here,” Root laughed, sloshing forward, the mud around her knees. “I won’t look.”

“Easy for you to say,” Sameen grumbled, holding her hand out for Root to take. “You’re a mile tall. If I squat, I’m ass deep in mud.”

Root shimmied her shoulders. “What a great excuse for a bath.”

Sameen considered it for a moment, but shook her head. “No, no. I need a sex break. My vagina is dead. You broke it. Also, I have too many bite marks. I need to heal.”

Root laughed and knocked her shoulder against Sameen. She immediately regretted it as Sameen lost her balance and fell backwards into the mud. Root covered her mouth.

All of Sameen was gone except her torso from the belly button up. Sameen looked shocked.

“Oh no,” Root winced. “Your hair.”

Sameen turned her head slowly to look at Root. Her eyes were murderous, her face twisted into a scowl. Root backed up, giggling despite her terror. Sameen was so small, but she could be so angry.

“I’m going to kill you,” Sameen growled. “Help me up, so I can kill you.”

“Why would I agree to that?” Root laughed. Sameen crossed her muddy arms, pouting violently. “Aw, Baby. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t call me that,” Sameen sneered. She started to get up, wobbling on the slippery ground. “You’re in time out.”

“Ooh,” Root grinned. “Are you going to spank me?”

Sameen sighed loudly, dropping her head back. She closed her eyes and Root could tell she was counting to ten. Sameen denied wanting to go to therapy and yet she used therapy techniques. Root considered saying that out loud, but decided it wasn’t the time.

“It looks like the ground slops up ahead,” Root offered, pointing forward. “We can just walk forward and wipe you off.”

“Ok,” Sameen sighed again.

She opened her eyes and started forward. When they got to the edge of the mud, Root stepped up easily, but Sameen stopped. She tried to pry her leg up, but she was stuck. Root scratched her chin awkwardly.

“Need help?”

Sameen glared at her. “No. Fuck you.”

Root shrugged and sat down on the dry ground. She watched Sameen struggle, smiling. Sameen was stubborn about a lot of things; needing help, having feelings, carrying all the groceries in one trip. Root knew that she was relaxing though.

She thought back to when they’d first started hanging out. That night on the hill and doing the crossword in Sameen’s bedroom the next day. Sameen had barely spoken a word. It had taken months for Sameen to open up and even then, there were still things she didn’t know. Did Sameen’s father teach her about cars or was it something she picked up in foster care? Why was Sameen so interested in medicine? Did Sameen really not have feelings or was it just an act?

Root didn’t care either way; she like Sameen just as she was, but she wondered if it was ever going to change. Would they get to a day when Sameen was fully open with her?

Sameen finally pulled her foot free with a squelch, but she’d had to sacrifice her rain boot. She put one bare foot on solid ground and reached out to Root. Root put a hand on her chest.

“Oh, me?” she asked, acting surprised. “Do you need my help?”

“You’re the worst,” Sameen mumbled. “Just help me.”

Root laughed and stood up. She tugged on Sameen’s hands, helping her balance as she pulled her other foot free. Sameen looked down at her clean feet and sighed.

“You’re going to have to carry me to the car,” Sameen said, crossing her arms.

Root stepped back. “Um, you are very dirty. No innuendo intended.”

“You knocked me over, so you carry me.”

Root rolled her eyes, but she turned around and squatted. Sameen climbed onto her back, her body slipping from the mud. Root giggled as she started walking.

“What?” Sameen asked. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Root giggled. “Even without sex, I can make you wet.”

“I fucking hate you.”

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Root swung her feet against the large washing machine and stuck another gummy bear into her mouth. They were in a laundromat, cleaning their blankets and sheets. She looked around at the neon lights reading “Open 24/7” and “Quarters Only.”

One of her favorite things about this road trip, next to Sameen, was how things that were the same could be so different. In Washington, just a few miles north of Portland, this laundromat was clean and spacious, the white tile floors freshly waxed and the machines gleaming.

Back in Nevada, they’d stopped in a laundromat that was obviously just a front for some drug dealers. It smelled like pot and there were only two working machines. Grace would probably say something about comparative symbolism. She’d say ‘the laundromats are metaphors. The change you’re observing is yourself.’

Root rolled her eyes, reaching into the bag and pulling out another handful of gummy bears. She didn’t feel that different than she had when she’d left Bishop a month ago. She was more relaxed, sure, and a little more confident. She’d had to talk to a lot of strangers. She didn’t feel too much wiser, though.

She looked at Sameen who was sprawled out across several washing machines. Sameen seemed different, like she was more open. They hadn’t shared secrets or anything, but it was like each passing day made Sameen feel more normal, more comfortable in her relationship with Root.

Maybe Root was thinking too much into it. She just couldn’t let go of Sameen’s ‘Six Months. At Least.’ She knew Sameen had been joking, but after the miscommunication and Tomas, Root had trouble just trusting that it would be ok. She sighed.

“Sameen?” Root said softly. “Are you awake?”

Sameen groaned and opened her eyes. She sat up and yawned. “What’s up?”

“Are…” she frowned. “Are we still going to have sex when we get home?”

Sameen looked at her and shrugged. “If you want to.”

That wasn’t a clear answer. Root scratched her head. “Do you remember when we got together? What you said?”

Sameen kicked the washer she was on, the noise echoing through the store. “I said ‘I like you,’ right?”

“Yeah,” Root conceded. “You also said we’d be together for six months.”

“Oh?” Sameen’s bra strap fell down her arm and she pushed it up again. “I guess…”

“Well, I was thinking…maybe in August, that’s six months, that we could…talk? About us?”

Sameen watched her, her face slipping into its neutral mask. Root hadn’t seen that once on this trip and now here it was. She wanted to kick herself for ruining everything.

“Ok,” Sameen nodded. “We can talk. Do you…not want to be together longer?”

“I do!” Root leaned forward. “Maybe, though, a…a real talk would be good. For us?”

Sameen shrugged and her face relaxed. “Whatever you want.”

Root sighed, relieved. Sameen didn’t seem upset. Root tugged her sweater around herself. Sameen glanced at her and shook her head.

“I have no idea how you’re wearing a sweater right now.”

“It’s freezing in here!” Root complained. “You’re the one who’s a furnace.”

Sameen swung her legs up onto the washer and crawled over to Root. She sat down next to her and wrapped her arms around Root’s waist.

“I’ll warm you up,” she smirked. “Feed me gummy worms as payment.”

Root laughed and reached into the bag.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Road Trip Part 1/2


	32. North by North

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of the Roadtrip!

Root glared at Sameen across the lake, treading water. They’d been swimming for over an hour now and the sun was starting to set. Sameen’s eyes peeked out over the water, her hair in a pile on her head. Root swam forward to lightly kick her in the stomach.

“Why are you being so weird?” Root laughed. “I’m just saying that hard wood is better than Spanish tile for a living room!”

Sameen surfaced just enough to scowl. “Wood floors are for bedrooms, Spanish tile for the living room and kitchen!”

“Kitchen?” Root scoffed. “Linoleum for kitchen floors. Easier to clean.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, finally raising her shoulders out of the water. “It’s not about keeping it clean. It’s about how it looks.”

Root laughed and gave up. She turned and swam away, smiling to herself. Of all the things she had expected Sameen to have an opinion on, flooring was not one of them. They’d been talking about dream homes and Root mentioned wanting spacious wood floors. It was all downhill from there.

Root took a deep breath and ducked under the water, her hair floating around her. This trip had been one of the best decisions in her life. It felt like every day she was falling more in love with Sameen. If this was what the future held, Root was glad to be alive.

The cool water flowed around her and she watched her feet kick below her. It was quiet here, in the woods, in Washington. They’d reached the turning point of their trip and, tomorrow morning, they turn around and start back toward home. Root was dreading school for the first time in her life. She just wanted more time.

Being out here in the world made Root feel trapped in a different way. She felt the weight of the future and the expectations of everyone around her. The pressure on her was self-inflicted, she knew that, but it didn’t make it feel any less real. She had to do great things or she would feel like a failure.

Hands hooked under her armpits and dragged her up. Root looked around at Sameen, confused. She turned in the water, their feet kicking together.

“What? Is something wrong?” Root asked.

Sameen shrugged and grinned. She squirted water between her teeth, hitting Root’s forehead. Root laughed and pushed her away, momentarily dipping underwater. She surfaced, pushing her hair out of her face.

Sameen leaped into Root’s arms, wrapping her legs around Root’s waist. Treading water, Root smiled up at Sameen, admiring the way small drops of water slid down her face. Sameen looked so good, messy hair and all.

Sameen took Root’s face in her hands and dipped down, pressing their lips together. Root hummed happily. She would miss their privacy.

Pulling away, Sameen nodded toward the shore. “Come on, let’s get back in the car before dark.”

“Ok,” Root shrugged. “You have to get off, though.”

“Oh, I’ll get off,” Sameen smirked.

Root rolled her eyes and pushed Sameen off of her. She started swimming to the shore, her long legs getting her there before Sameen. Squeezing the water out of her hair as she walked out of the lake, Root looked up at the sky.

Clouds were crossing the sky, outlined in pink and making it darker than it normally would be at this hour. Maybe it would rain later, Root thought, picking up her towel. That would be nice; she could read to Sameen under their fairy lights.

She bent forward to towel her hair. Her shoulders pulled painfully. She heard Sameen hiss next to her.

“Oh no,” Sameen sighed. “You’re red. You definitely got burned.”

Root looked down at herself. She was burnt all over, the skin around her bathing suit dark red.

“I put sunscreen on!” She pouted. “SPF 100, like always!”

“Well,” Sameen shrugged, “that was a while ago and we were swimming.”

Root scowled and wrapped her towel around herself. She slipped into her flip-flops and started trudging down the path to the car. They had aloe in the cooler they’d brought. She hadn’t had to open it yet and she had been hoping she wouldn’t have to open it at all.

“Hey,” Sameen said at her side, “I’ll rub aloe all over you.”

Root looked at her and Sameen winked playfully. Root smiled despite herself. She had to admit the idea of Sameen’s hands all over her cheered her up.

“Alright, but I read at the same time. We have to do our summer reading.”

Sameen groaned loudly, dropping her head back. “Grace will understand! We’re too busy living to worry about school.”

“Grace is amazing,” Root conceded, “but she can’t play favorites.”

“Fine,” Sameen mumbled as they approached the car. She stuck her key into the trunk. “You can summer read to me.”

Root laughed and leaned back as the door came up, revealing their bed. She pulled their large tote bag to her. They’d bought it in Portland. It was covered in cartoon Vespas that looked just like Ruthie. Root missed Ruthie.

She dropped her towel, hanging it over their door. Root turned to watch Sameen as she climbed out of her bathing suit. Sameen hadn’t been working out as much as she had at home and some of her muscles were losing definition. It made her look younger and Root wondered again about Sameen as a child. What was she like at 2? At 7?

Sameen caught her looking and straightened up. “You’re always staring at me.”

Root smiled and pushed her bikini bottoms down. “You’re nice to look at.”

“Gross,” Sameen said, half-heartedly.

She crawled into the car and dropped onto the bed, reaching for the cooler. Root froze, her arms halfway to her bathing suit’s knot. She reminded herself that she was sunburnt and couldn’t just lay on top of a naked Sameen.

Root shook her head and pulled her top off. She stuffed her and Sameen’s bathing suit into the bag and crawled into the car. She lay carefully on her front, wincing as the blanket scratched against her skin.

Sameen scooted to sit between Root’s legs and she poked her butt, making Root jump.

“Hey!” Root scolded. “I’m in pain!”

“Not on your butt,” Sameen joked. “It’s still white as ever.”

Root reached back to smack Sameen’s leg. She reached into the passenger door pocket and pulled out Heart of Darkness. They’d only read three pages this whole trip. If she and Sameen weren’t tied, she might not care about it, but Sameen had been top of their class at the end of last year and Root was going to beat her in the coming year.

“Ok,” Sameen said behind Root, “I’m going to start.”

Root nodded and opened the book. She sighed and dropped her head against the pages. “I hate this book so much. Why do we only read about white men with self-made problems?”

The sound of gel squirting from a bottle startled her and then Sameen’s firm hands were softly rubbing Root’s back. The aloe was cold, but Sameen’s hands were warm and her fingertips soothed Root’s sunburnt skin.

“We should complain,” Sameen snorted. “I’ll tell Grace I feel underrepresented.”

“Mmm,” Root hummed against the pages, “we’ve only had 3 non-white students before you.”

“Really? Wow.”

“Yeah,” Root shrugged, “Small town Texas, I guess.”

A finger traced along her back and Root tensed. Sameen was touching her scar, the one her mother had given her.

“What’s this from?” Sameen asked, her voice quiet. “It’s big.”

Root sighed and closed her eyes. She should have expected this; Sameen was bound to ask about it eventually.

“It’s from 5th grade. I got hit with a chair.”

“Oh,” Sameen said. Her hands disappeared from Root’s back and a moment later returned with more gel. “A kid at school? A bully?”

Root considered lying and decided it wasn’t worth it. “My mom. It was just after my father started cheating on her. He thought he was good at hiding it, but we both knew. She was already a drunk, but it got really bad. She threw a chair at me when I came downstairs one day wearing my dad’s sweater.”

Sameen’s hands stilled. Root lifted her head and reached out to turn the fairy lights on. It had gotten dark outside. The lights looked a little dim. Root made a note to buy new batteries at the next gas station. She looked down at the book. She needed glasses.

Sameen started moving her hands again. “Have you considered calling the police? Or child services?”

“What would that do?” Root asked. “Put my mom away? Put me in the system? No thanks. I’m glad you got adopted by Mrs. Reese, but not everyone is so lucky and I’m almost 17 now. No, I’ve learned to live around her and I’d rather take care of myself until college and not worry about it.”

Sameen scooted back and started rubbing Root’s legs. “I understand that, I guess.”

They sat in silence for a while. Sameen rubbing Root’s legs and Root staring down at the pages, not reading. Root couldn’t remember too much before Hanna. She’d just been really lonely and ready to leave Bishop. She was still desperate to get out, but it wasn’t the same. Now, she was looking into the future with nervous hope, not with fear.

“Are you going to read?” Sameen asked. “Or is my touch too distracting?”

Root laughed and threw her hair over her shoulder. “You better watch it. We can’t have sex for a while now.”

Sameen groaned. “Don’t remind me. Just read. Let’s get it over with.”

“Ok,” Root chuckled. She squinted down at Heart of Darkness. “’The sun set; the dusk fell on the stream, and lights began to appear along the shore…’”

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Root sat in the window, the back of her shirt blowing in the wind and her arms on top of the car, holding onto the roof. Her sunburn had mostly healed and, as the sun set, she was feeling good about the day.

They’d driven down the Extra-Terrestrial highway for the second time, Sameen giving in to Root’s demands. They’d been in a rush before to get everything in, but now they were on their way home and they still had a few weeks, so they were taking their time.

They’d started up in Alamo, Nevada this morning, filling up on gas and hitting the road. Root had so many pictures and notes from the trip, she’d run out of Polaroids and had to switch to digital. Luckily, they’d borrowed Mrs. Reese’s camera.

The first thing they’d seen was the road sign proclaiming ‘Extra-Terrestrial Highway.’ Root had been excited to learn that Nevada had legally changed the highway’s name a few years ago. The sign was covered in stickers and Root had taken pictures of almost all of them. She was strongly considering getting a few as tattoos.

She hadn’t seen any aliens all day, but Root had convinced Sameen to stop at the Alien Research Center, a gift shop with a giant alien statue outside. Root ducked her head to look into the car. Sameen was still wearing her sunglasses shaped like alien eyes. Root smiled at the scowl on her face.

It was over 100 degrees and Sameen was very upset about it. She was wearing the Grey’s Anatomy shirt they’d bought in Seattle. Of course, Sameen had cut it into a crop top. Root straightened up and sighed happily. She remembered the selfie they’d taken with the little green man at the A’Le’Inn and grinned.

Root dropped back into the car, wrenching the handle around to close the window. She turned to face Sameen. As she opened her mouth to talk, a bright flash of lightening streaked across the sky and a loud crack of thunder shook the car. Sameen hit the brakes as the sky opened up.

The rain was deafening and Sameen pulled to the side of the road, turning her hazards on. Root pressed her face to the window, but the sudden thunderstorm had blackened the sky. She’d been five seconds from being caught in it. She thought about the cool rain and sighed.

“Great,” Sameen mumbled, taking her glasses off, “guess we’re sleeping here tonight.”

Root shrugged, still feeling light. “I love the rain.”

Sameen smiled. “Do you want to run around? Look for aliens?”

“What?” Root turned to look at Sameen. “You hate the rain. You want to look for aliens?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Sameen shrugged. “I know you do.”

Root grinned and opened her door, rushing out into the rain, immediately getting soaked. She tilted her head back, mouth open, and let the rain fill her mouth. Sameen jumped onto Root’s back, knocking her to the ground.

Root’s knees sank into the mud and she laughed as Sameen fell sideways sinking into the wet grass with a squelch. When Sameen tried to stand up again, she slipped in mud and Root knocked into her, pushing her back onto the swampy ground.

“Root!” Sameen screamed, trying to push her off, “I’m going to drown.”

“Drown in my love!” Root said, her wet hair dragging in the mud. “Let it drown you!”

Sameen growled and rolled them over, her knees in the mud on either side of Root’s hips. “How does it feel being dirty?”

Root shifted so Sameen’s head shielded her from the heavy rain. “That’s my secret, Sameen. I’m always dirty.”

Sameen tapped on Root’s forehead. “How do I make this stop?”

Root shrugged. “If you find out, let me know.”

A loud boom echoed through the sky and flashing lights streaked above them, visible through the dark clouds. Root stared in wonder as they faded away.

“What was that?” Sameen asked, her face turned towards the light’s disappearing point. “The military?”

“Aliens!” Root screamed, wiggling out from under Sameen. “Aliens!”

Sameen leaned back on her heels, watching Root stand up. “It wasn’t aliens, Root. The lady at the diner said the government tests planes around here.”

“Aliens!” Root shouted again, running back to the car. She slipped and steadied herself with her hands. “I gotta turn on my radio!”

She made it to the back of the car and yanked the trunk open, throwing herself inside. Sameen rushed in after her and shut the door. Root dug through her duffle bag to find her radio.

“Oh man,” Sameen grumbled, “our bed is covered in mud now. We have to go to a laundromat when the rain lightens up. How close are we to a city?”

“Doesn’t matter!” Root pulled out her radio and turned it on. She grinned up at Sameen, mud dripping from her hair. “Aliens!”

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Sameen pondered Root’s question, her feet in Root’s lap. They were somewhere in Southern California. They had so much time left and neither wanted to go back to Bishop, so Root had pulled out her original list of ideas and they were checking them all off.

Yesterday, they’d gone to the San Diego Zoo and now they were slowly heading towards San Francisco. Root wanted to do a ghost tour and go to the gayborhood. Sameen was excited to try tacos all the way up California. The ones in San Diego had been fantastic. Los Angeles had been alright.

She shook her head and took a bite of pizza. They were sitting in the back of the car, leaning against the sides and looking out over the water. Root had asked about her favorite family vacation with her parents. Sameen didn’t really have an answer. They moved around a lot and it all felt like a vacation; sight-seeing, strangers, and new food.

“Beirut,” Sameen finally said. “I really liked Beirut.”

“Oh,” Root said, her hands holding Sameen’s feet. “I don’t know too much about Beirut.”

“Me neither. We lived there when I was 7, I think.” Sameen tore a piece off her crust, looking at the sunset. “I just remember that we lived in a really green area. Lots of parks and pastry shops. They had really good Shawarma.” Sameen closed her eyes, remembering. “So good.”

Root laughed. “Of course, you pick your favorite vacation because of the food.”

Sameen shrugged. “Countries blur together after a while. You have to find ways of separating them.”

Root leaned her head back against the car and smiled. Sameen wished she knew how Root was feeling. Not about her, she’d finally picked up on Root’s crush, but just generally. She did her best, but Root had so many feelings. Sameen was just…Sameen.

“What’s up?” Root asked her, her eyes half-closed. “What are you thinking about?”

Sameen tossed the pizza crust into the box and crossed her arms. “I…Nothing, I guess. I just want to support you.”

Root’s forehead wrinkled. “Support me? What does that mean?”

“I don’t know,” Sameen looked away. “You have all these…emotions and I can’t connect.”

“Oh,” Root breathed. She scratched her nose like she always did when she was self-conscious. “I think you do a good job. We’re just different cityscapes and that’s fine.”

“Cityscapes?” Sameen shook her head. “I don’t know what that means.”

“Well,” Root leaned forward excitedly, Sameen’s toes pressing into her stomach, “I’ve been thinking about this. You’re open country and I’m a big city. Emotionally.”

“I’m…open country?” Sameen said slowly, not understanding. “I…don’t have a lot of buildings? I’m not fully developed?”

“No,” Root waved her hand. “I mean…sort of? Ok, think of how quiet the country is. It’s just large plains and wide, open spaces. You can yell and, yeah, it makes a noise, but it doesn’t come back. You’re like that. You have feelings, but sometimes they just…don’t go anywhere.”

Sameen frowned. “I guess so. I think it’s more like a radio. I don’t have a lot of volume.”

“That,” Root sighed, “is a better analogy.”

Sameen laughed and wiggled her toes, tickling Root’s stomach.

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Sameen smiled at the waitress as she put the plate down. She looked at the stack of pancakes in front of her. The greatest thing about America was Waffle House. Nothing changed from place to place. She stuck her knife into the middle and started dividing them up into triangles.

She heard a muffled laugh across the table and looked up. Root was covering her mouth, Heart of Darkness forgotten in front of her. Sameen glared at her.

“What?”

Root shook her head, giggling. “Nothing.”

“Clearly,” Sameen rolled her eyes, still cutting her food, “something is funny to you.”

“You looked at the pancakes, like…” she dissolved into giggles.

Sameen sighed and put her knife down. “Like what?”

“You had the same look on your face as you do when we’re having sex,” Root whispered, her face red from laughter. “You looked at it like it was naked!”

“Listen to me,” Sameen said, leaning her elbows on the table, “don’t be jealous. If you covered yourself in maple syrup, I’d eat you, too.”

Root winked at her, her mouth twisting to the side. “You eat me anyway.”

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Sameen lazily drew figures onto Root’s stomach. It was early still, the sun just peaking over the trees. They were in Colorado. Sameen couldn’t remember the plan for the day. She thought it might be some caves, or the four corners. Honestly, she didn’t really care.

Root shifted in her sleep, rolling onto her side to face Sameen. Her eyelids fluttered, but she didn’t wake up. Sameen watched her, eyes tracing Root’s delicate eyebrows and strong cheekbones. Root was beautiful and Sameen could look at her for hours. It was easier when she was sleeping.

Sameen sat up, shivering slightly in the early morning air. She rubbed her arms, looking around for their shirt. Root had given in a few weeks ago and allowed them to have sex in the car. Sameen didn’t understand her hesitancy, but she wasn’t going to push. Root didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to.

Sameen spotted a shirt in the corner and pulled it on. It was Root’s shirt, the one that had a dog like Bear on it. Sameen wished Bear was there now. When they got back, she would wrestle with him. The boys were probably just playing fetch.

Sameen looked outside, squinting at the sun. She hadn’t jogged in a while. She felt around in the blankets and pulled out her shorts. Wiggling into them, she glanced back at Root. Root reached out, her hand running over the spot where Sameen had been. Her eyes opened.

“Babe?” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. “Where are you going?”

Sameen leaned down to press a kiss to Root’s forehead. “Jogging.”

Root nodded and closed her eyes again. “Take your phone.”

“I will.” Sameen watched Root fall asleep. When she was sure Root was out, she smiled. “I love you.”

Sameen turned and opened the car door, the morning air rushing in with a refreshing breeze. She climbed out of the car and stretched, her fingers reaching skyward. She closed the door, looked at Root one more time, and started down the road.

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Root watched Sameen facetime with Mrs. Reese and smiled. She hadn’t talked to her mother in a week or so, but Root wasn’t too worried. Her mother had a full-time job at Mr. Greer’s ice cream shop now and she was busy. Sameen scowled at her phone.

“Lionel!” Sameen yelled, “put that down!”

Root slid off her bed. Motels kept giving them two beds. She walked to Sameen’s and sat next to her, scooting her head close. Lionel was holding Sameen’s NY Giants ballcap. Mrs. Reese smiled tiredly at Root.

“Hello, Honey. How are you?”

Root grinned. “I’m alright, Mrs. Reese. Thank you. How are you and the boys?”

“We’re alright,” Mrs. Reese sighed. “I do miss having you girls around, though.”

“Mom!” John’s voice called. “Have you seen my summer reading? Zoe and Joss are coming over and I haven’t read any of them!”

Mrs. Reese closed her eyes, sighing again. “Lionel, take the phone.”

Lionel took the phone from Mrs. Reese and grinned into the screen. “I’m gonna wear your hat to the mall and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Sameen growled. “Lionel Fusco, you put that back where it came from or I will murder you.”

“How? You’re thousands of miles away.”

“I can be home in less 2 days,” Sameen threatened, “We’re in Arizona. I will find you and I will kill you.”

Lionel’s eyes widened. “You’ve seen Taken? Have you watched the sequel? It’s so bad, but I love it. I want to be Liam Neeson.”

Sameen sighed. “Can you put mom on the phone again. I’m sick of your ugly mug.”

“Wow,” Lionel laughed, turning to find Mrs. Reese, “That’s hurtful. I’m wounded. I’ve been dieting.”

“You look great!” Root smiled. “Feeling ready to work out with Sameen?”

“Definitely,” Lionel grinned, the camera shaking as he walked up the stairs. “I’m ready!”

“Good,” Root grinned. She wrapped her arms around Sameen’s waist. “Sameen here is a little out of shape.”

Sameen’s head whipped around to stare at Root. “Out of shape? What- I’m- How dare you?”

“I’m going to go,” Lionel said, hanging up on them.

Root backed off the bed, away from Sameen, holding her hands up. “I didn’t mean out of shape. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Sameen dropped her phone and stalked slowly towards Root. “What did you mean?”

“Nothing!” Root laughed nervously. She felt like prey; the look in Sameen’s eyes predatory. “I just…you’re a little softer. It’s nice! I like it!”

“You like it?” Sameen asked. “You like that I’m getting fat.”

Root rolled her eyes, dropping her arms. “You’re not fat, Sameen. Don’t be dumb.”

“Oh,” Sameen raised her eyebrows, her eyes twinkling, “Now I’m fat and dumb.”

Root looked around and jumped on her bed. “I think neither of those things. I think you’re perfect.”

Sameen stepped up on the bed. She reached out and stuck her fingers into the waistband of Root’s pajama pants. She tugged her forward and Root stumbled, her arms raising to grab Sameen’s shoulders. Sameen still looked predatory, but, this close, it made Root’s stomach warm.

“Perfect?” Sameen said, her head dipping down to nip at Root’s neck. “I’ll show you perfect.”

She quickly bent down, hooking her hands around Root’s thighs and yanking them out from under her. Root’s back slammed into the bed, her breath leaving her in a huff. Root gasped, trying to suck in air.

Sameen reached up, yanking Root’s pants and underwear off in one smooth motion. Despite Root’s disorientation, she admired Sameen’s finesse. Their two months of sex had taught them a lot and, god, Sameen had been a good student.

Sameen climbed up Root, staring down into her eyes. “Tell me I’m pretty.”

“You’re pretty,” Root grinned, her heart pounding. “So pretty. Beautiful. Gorgeous.”

“Ok,” Sameen rolled her eyes, “Don’t hurt yourself.”

Root wiggled under Sameen. “I won’t. Only you can hurt me.”

Sameen smirked, smug. “You fucking know it.”


	33. I Want a Mom That Will Last Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies in advance

Sameen opened the door to the car and looked up at Root’s house. It felt odd to back in Bishop after so long. It was nice, though. In the past when Sameen had gone away, she’d never had somewhere to go back to. Bishop was her home now and that made her feel stable.

Root sighed as she walked around the car. She stopped next to Sameen, her keys in her hand. Sameen reached out to pat her shoulder.

“You ok?” she asked.

Root nodded. “Yeah, I am. Just annoyed to be back.”

Sameen chuckled. “I was thinking the opposite. It’s nice to have a permanent home.”

Root smiled at her. “Sorry. I hadn’t thought about it like that. I’m so ready to never come back and you’re happy to be home.”

“It’s alright,” Sameen shrugged. “Different experiences. Besides, home is where you are.”

Root’s mouth dropped open and she grinned. “Sameen! That’s so romantic!”

“It’s the truth,” she said, flushing. “I wasn’t homesick once this whole trip. You just kept bugging me and it felt safe.”

“Well,” Root blushed, punching Sameen in the arm, “back at you. You make this place sort of ok.”

“Oh, thanks,” Sameen rolled her eyes. “Enough of this. Go inside.”

Root nodded, her smile dropping, and took a deep breath. “Ok.”

She started down the path to her house, running a hand through her hair. Sameen pulled her phone out to call Mrs. Reese and tell her they were back in town. She pulled up her contact and hit the call button.

Sameen turned around as the phone rang, looking up and down the street. She felt…different, like she knew too much. The town hadn’t changed at all and that seemed wrong somehow. The early-August sun was bright and washed the color from the buildings.

“Sameen!” Mrs. Reese’s voiced cheered. “Hello!”

“Hey!” Sameen said, smiling. “We’re in town.”

“Great! Are you at Root’s now?”

“Yeah, we’re just going to check on her mom and then we’ll be over.”

“Sameen?” Root called from the front door. “Something’s wrong.”

“One second,” Sameen said to Mrs. Reese. She pressed the phone to her chest and turned around. “What is it?”

Root gently pushed the door to her house open. “The door was open and the window is smashed.”

Sameen hurried to the porch, hoping up. The small, frosted window in door was gone, the glass shattered in the entranceway. She put the phone to her ear again as Root walked inside.

“Can you come over? It looks like someone broke into Root’s home.”

“Oh,” there was a rustling sound, “of course. I’ll bring John.”

“Thanks. Can you call Sheriff Carter? Just in case,” Sameen said. She took a step into the house, glass crunching beneath her sneakers. “We’re going to check it out.”

“No,” Mrs. Reese said, “stay out. I don’t want you two getting hurt.”

“Well, Root’s already inside. I’ll get her and we’ll wait in the yard.”

“Alright, be careful. I love you.”

“You, too,” Sameen said, hanging up the phone.

She put it in her pocket and walked further into the house. The small shoe rack that sat by the door had been splintered, like someone had shoved their foot through the top. Sameen turned right into the living room and raised her eyebrows.

The small TV in the corner was destroyed. Root had said it didn’t work anymore, but now the glass had been broken and the wooden frame demolished. She stepped further into the room and looked at the couch. It was torn as if someone had slashed it open with a knife. Sameen winced at the smell, like vomit and old cigarettes.

She’d never spent much time in Root’s house, Root didn’t want her to see it and Sameen didn’t really care. She could guess, though, that this is not how it had looked when they’d left.

She crossed the scraped wooden floors and walked into the dining room. The table had been pulled apart and the center leaf was gone. It was covered in something sticky and Sameen reached out to touch it with her fingertip. She sniffed it. It smelled like old soda and something sharp.

Sameen shuddered and wiped her finger on her jeans. She wondered what had happened. Had Root’s mom done this?

She stepped back into the hall and headed for the kitchen. “Root?”

“I’m here,” Root replied, coming into view as Sameen stepped onto the tile.

Sameen almost slipped and had to hold onto the doorframe to catch herself. She looked down. The kitchen floor was wet, but she couldn’t tell with what. She walked carefully to the island to stand next to Root.

“Look at this,” Root said, sounding defeated. She pointed into the fridge.

Every jar and canister was open, the contents spilled into the fridge. There were Ziplocs that had been tore open at the sides and the meat inside left to rot. Sameen covered her nose. The whole house smelled like decay.

“That’s the meal prep I made,” Root said, sighing. “She didn’t make any of it. Do you think she did this right away? Or she waited? I talked to her a couple weeks ago. She sounded fine.”

“Maybe it wasn’t her?” Sameen offered, trying to breathe through her mouth. “Why aren’t you dying? It smells so bad.”

“This was her,” Root turned and walked to the microwave, shattered on the ground. “I know what this smell is.”

Sameen didn’t know what to say. If Root’s mom had done this, where was she? Had she been living in this mess? She watched Root walk out of the kitchen and followed her upstairs. Root had locked her door before they left, so hopefully her things were fine.

The smell of decay was worse upstairs. Once, when she was young, Sameen had found a dead cat near their house. She didn’t remember how she felt, but she remembered the smell. It smelled like this, like warm death.

The door to Root’s room had been attacked. The door handle was gone and the wood around it pulverized. Sameen bent forward, looking at it. It was definitely a hammer that had done this. Did Root’s mom even own a hammer?

Thankfully, Root’s chain had held and no one had gotten in. All the things on her dresser had been knocked off, as if whoever had done this had shoved their arm inside and destroyed what they could reach. Root sighed loudly and turned away.

Sameen followed her to the bathroom, but couldn’t make it to the door. The smell was worse in here and Sameen had to pull her shirt over her nose. Root finally seemed affected and she covered her mouth. From what Sameen could see, there was a layer of water on the floor, cloudy and grey.

Root didn’t stay long. She moved back to the hall and stared at the last door. She closed her eyes for a moment.

“Is that your mom’s room?” Sameen asked quietly, her voice muffled by her shirt. “You don’t have to go in. We can wait for Mrs. Reese.”

“No,” Root said through clenched teeth. “This is my fault. My responsibility.”

“Root-“

Sameen reached for her, but Root stepped away. She walked to her mother’s room, pushing the door open. It was immediately obvious that this was where the smell was coming from, the disgusting stench rushing out of the room and down the hall. Sameen coughed, feeling like she’d never be clean again.

She trailed after Root as they entered the room. Every piece of furniture had been knocked over and the carpet was damp. Sameen counted four bottles of whiskey scattered around and she realized that Mrs. Groves might be dead. She looked at Root.

Root was frozen next to the bed, white as a sheet. Mrs. Groves was on her back, on hand loosely holding a wooden mallet. Sameen sighed. It was her that did all of this. Something must have triggered her while they were gone. Root was probably devastated.

Sameen turned to her. “Root-“

Root’s mom flew out of the bed, screaming bloody murder. Her face twisted into a mask of hatred and she swung the mallet over her head. Sameen launched forward, grabbing Root’s hand and pulling her out of the room.

They raced down the hall, Mrs. Groves on their heels. Sameen couldn’t make out what she was screaming, but she knew it wasn’t anything good. Mrs. Groves was mostly alcohol right now and Sameen didn’t think she’d hesitate to hit children. She pushed Root in front of her and they pounded down the stairs and out the door to the yard.

Sameen spun around, keeping Root behind her. Her heart was pounding in her ears as she watched Mrs. Groves stagger out the front door and stand on the porch. Sameen would protect Root no matter what, but she had to admit she felt fear. Mrs. Groves bloodshot eyes glared at them with malice.

“Mom,” Root said from behind Sameen, “put that down. Just…put the hammer down.”

Mrs. Groves moved forward on the porch steps. They collapsed beneath her and she fell to the ground with a scream, her face smashing into the concrete. Root jumped forward, pushing passed Sameen and kneeling at her mother’s side. She helped her mom sit up.

“Mom?” Root asked, gently pushing hair from her mother’s face. “Are you ok?”

Sameen watched them closely, ready to intervene. Mrs. Groves’ nose had broken in the fall and blood poured down her face. She looked at Root, confused and disoriented. Her fingers twitched around the splintered mallet, but she didn’t pick it up.

Root smiled at her mother and helped her to her feet. Sameen took a breath. It looked like the fall and the pain had grounded Mrs. Groves a little. When Mrs. Reese got here, they could take her to the emergency room.

Loud sirens came into hearing and the Sheriff’s car sped around the corner, Mrs. Reese’s close behind. The noise startled Mrs. Groves and whatever calm have overcome her left. She swung the mallet around, hitting Root in the head and knocking her to the ground, unconscious.

Sameen started to run forward, but strong arms wrapped around her keeping her in place.

“Let me go!” she growled, struggling to get free. “I have to help Root.”

The sheriff ran past her and grabbed Mrs. Groves, his deputy taking the hammer out if her hands. When she was far enough away, the arms around Sameen let go and she raced to Root’s side. Slowly, carefully, she put her hand on Root’s shoulder and rolled her onto her back.

Sameen pushed the hair from her face and looked at the right side of her head, where she’d been struck. Root’s ear was bloody, a shard of wood stuck was buried in the blood and Sameen was afraid to touch it.

Sameen sensed someone kneeling next to her and wrapped her arms around Root. She was scared, she could admit that, she could feel it. If anything happened to Root…Sameen didn’t know what she’d do. Root had taken over her life, made her enjoy herself. How could she stay in Bishop if Root was Bishop for her?

Mrs. Reese appeared next to her, her face creased with worry. She placed a hand on Sameen’s back.

“Are you ok?”

Sameen nodded. “I’m fine, but Root…We need to go to the hospital.”

“An ambulance is coming,” Mrs. Reese assured her. “We weren’t expecting trouble, but we heard a scream.”

“Mrs. Groves,” Sameen clenched her eyes shut. “I hate her so much.”

“I know, Sweetie,” Mrs. Reese rubbed Sameen’s back. “She’s gone now. Root will come stay with us until we figure out what to do.”

Sameen looked down at Root. Root was going to be so angry that Sameen had brought the police into it. Maybe she wouldn’t be. After all, Mrs. Groves could have killed her. Sameen bent forward and put her ear to Root’s chest. The sound of Root’s heartbeat soothed her.

Root was going to be fine. She’d recover and they’d be back to school in no time. They’d have their six-month talk and nothing had to change. It would be fine, Sameen told herself.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root slowly regained consciousness, her head swimming. What happened? She tried to open her eyes, but the bright light blinded her.

“Root?” Sameen’s voice asked to her left. “Are you awake?”

Root groaned and tried to sit up, but her head hurt so much. She dropped back down.

“Where am I?” she asked, her voice loud. “Am I yelling?”

There was a weight next to her and she tried to open her eyes, blinking against the lights. Root looked around, confused. She was in a hospital.

“You, um,” Sameen licked her lips, “your mother hit you pretty hard with the mallet. You..Uh…”

“Just tell me,” Root frowned. “What is it?”

“You’re deaf. In your right ear.”

Root shook her head, wincing against the pain. She reached up to touch her ear, but felt a bandage instead. A large bandage covered her ear and went back to cover some of her neck as well. She tapped on the bandage, but didn’t hear a thing.

“I’m deaf?” she asked, shocked. “What…From the hit?”

Sameen nodded. “It burst your eardrum and a large piece of wood shattered your cochlear. The doctors said they might be able to give you some sort of aid, but you’ll never have full hearing again.”

Root stared up at the ceiling. What did this mean for her future? Could she still do Science Bowl? Could she still work for NASA? What if she couldn’t hear music in the same way?

She started to panic, her breath quickening. Root closed her eyes, tears escaping and running down her face. She felt Sameen reach up and wipe her face. At least she had Sameen.

“What about my mom?” Root whispered, opening her eyes. “Didn’t she hit her head?”

Sameen swallowed, her face guilty. “She...Sheriff Carter took her. She’s probably going to prison.”

“What?” Root struggled to sit up. Sameen tried to keep her down, but she pushed her hands away. “The police came?”

“Yes,” Sameen said, scooting back on the bed to give Root room. “I know you didn’t want them involved, but your mom could have killed you.”

“I could have handled it!” Root hissed, her voice strange in her ears. “I would have been fine! You shouldn’t have brought them.”

Sameen slid off the bed, frowning. “Root, you could have died. At least you’re alright.”

“I’m not alright!” Root cried, trying to ignore the hot tears on her face. “I’m deaf and I don’t have a place to live. I’m going to be put in the system and taken away.”

“No, you’re not,” Sameen shook her head. “Mrs. Reese has temporary custody of you. You can be emancipated or we’ll find someone in Bishop to adopt you.”

“I don’t want anyone in this shithole of a town to adopt me,” she growled. “I was so close to getting out.” Root dropped her head into her hands. “We shouldn’t have gone away. I shouldn’t have been so irresponsible.”

“Root, you’re allowed to do things.” Sameen stepped towards her. “You’re allowed to want things.”

Root looked up at her, her teeth clenched. “Get out. I can’t look at you right now. I’m so mad at you.”

“Mad?” Sameen sighed. “Root, I know you’re upset about what happened, but it’ll be ok!”

“No,” Root put a hand on her bandaged ear, “I don’t know that it will be. I don’t know anything right now, but I know that I don’t want to be near you. I just…Just leave. I can’t look at you.”

Sameen stood still for a moment. Root expected her face to drop into neutral, but it didn’t. Sameen was looking at her, eyes full of worry, and Root wanted to vomit. So much had changed in so little time and it felt like the ground was spinning out from under her.

She needed space, actual space, not quiet with Sameen. Maybe Sameen would still be there when Root was ready to talk again, maybe she wouldn’t be, but right now, Root needed to be alone.

“Are you sure?” Sameen asked, her voice small. “You really want me gone?”

Root swallowed hard and nodded. “Yes.”

Sameen turned on her heel and left the hospital room. Then, Root was alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies again at the end


	34. Leave (Get Out)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, Quick shout-out to hufflepufflovespizza, spicycheese, and canadianwheatpirates for letting me talk at them constantly. Y'all are the real MVPs

Sameen stepped of her car and looked around, hiking her bag higher on her shoulder. School had started a week ago and Sameen was already stressed out. Root had moved in with them after she'd gotten out of the hospital, but she'd asked to sleep in the treehouse, instead of with Sameen. Mrs. Reese had let her and they'd put a door on the treehouse and now that was Root's room.

Sameen started heading for the front door of the school. She and Root had hardly talked since their fight in the hospital. Root was so angry all the time now and Sameen didn't know how to handle it. At dinner, the boys and Mrs. Reese talked, but Root just moved her food around and always left the table as fast as she could. She was driving Ruthie to school in the mornings, so Sameen didn't have any time to talk to her.

Pushing open the front door, Sameen looked around the hallway for Root. It had been a tough first week. Root was still adjusting to the hearing loss and she got overwhelmed a lot. Their teachers had all heard about what happened, of course, and put her on the right side of the classroom, so all the noise came from her left. It was painful for her and Root would have to leave class sometimes to get some quiet.

Sameen heard yelling around the corner and ran towards it. She turned the corner to see Martine and Root standing at the lockers. Root's hands were fisted in Martine's shirt and Root pushed her into the lockers with a loud bang. Sameen saw John hovering nearby and went to him.

"What happened?" she asked, tense.

John shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think Martine tried to tease her or something."

"Martine snuck up behind her," Lionel said, his eyes wide. "Root just started screaming. Is this what high school is always like?"

Sameen rolled her eyes. Lionel was a freshman this year and she'd put him under John's protection. She couldn't take care of him and Root.

"Listen here, bitch," Root growled into Martine's face, "if you ever, ever, do that again, I will ruin your life."

Sameen stepped forward and put a hand on Root's shoulder, startling her. Root's head whipped around to glare at her.

"Come on, Root," Sameen said, gently trying to pull Root away, "she's not worth it. Let's go or we'll be late for AP Chem."

Root turned back to Martine and shoved her into the lockers again before letting go. Martine slid to the ground, hands on her head. Root shoved passed Sameen, knocking into her shoulder and heading to class. Sameen just watched her go and sighed.

Reaching down a hand, Sameen helped Martine to her feet. She tucked her thumbs into her backpack straps.

"I'd leave her alone for a while, Martine. Maybe even forever."

Martine rubbed her head. "I wasn't even being mean. I just asked if she was ok. I'm not that much of a bitch."

"Questionable," Sameen rolled her eyes. "Just stay away."

She turned back to John and Lionel. Sameen felt helpless, like she was way out of her depth. Root had never been like this before and Sameen wasn't sure what to do. Part of her wanted to shake some sense into her, but she knew that Root was hurting and scared for her future. Sameen sighed.

"Where are the girls?" she asked John. "I could use some help."

John started down the hall and Lionel and Sameen followed. "They're running late. Joss' car broke down."

"Really?" Sameen said sarcastically. "Her car is so old. They should just take Zoe's or let you drive them."

"We are in a rough patch," John said, shaking his head. "I just don't get them. I asked if they were actually gay or just doing stuff for me and they just…stopped talking to me?"

"It's been a difficult summer," Lionel added. "I started sleeping in your room. Too much yelling in mine."

"Gross," Sameen said, stopping in front of her classroom, "Well, I'll talk to them about Root and try to throw in a good word for you."

"I'd appreciate it," John smiled. "Good luck."

Lionel patted Sameen's shoulder. "You're gonna need it."

Sameen took a deep breath and walked into the classroom, smiling at Mr. Ingram. Bishop High was so small that Sameen had had the same teachers for most of her classes. This was her third year with Mr. Ingram, Grace, and Harold and her second year with Mr. Collier, the history teacher. She was already dreading the rest of the year in his APUSH class.

Sameen stopped in front of her table. Root had sat in the left seat, so Sameen would sit on her right. Sameen rolled her eyes. If Root was going to be passive-aggressive, fine. Root was still hurting and Sameen knew that she still blamed her for her mother getting arrested. She walked around the table and sat down, dropping her bag on the table. There were still a few minutes until class started.

Mr. Ingram came over to their table and smiled. "Miss Groves, we missed you at the first Science Bowl meeting. Are you still interested in being on the team?"

"No," Root said, leaning forward on her elbows. "I'm not."

Mr. Ingram's smiled flagged. "Really? You're eligible to be on the team now. It would look great on your college applications."

"I said no," Root snapped. "I know it would be a hassle to accommodate me now and I refuse to be a burden."

"Well," Mr. Ingram crossed his arms, "there would need to be some adjustments, of course, but it wouldn't be a burden. We'd do it for anyone."

Root reached up to touch her ear. "Can I step outside? My head hurts."

Mr. Ingram nodded and stepped out of her way. Sameen watched Root stomp out of the room. She didn't know if she should be concerned or not. She knew that Root was in pain and she was having trouble, but sometimes it seemed like Root was using it as an excuse. Sameen couldn't tell though. She'd only lost her hearing a couple weeks ago and everything was so new.

"I hear she hasn't been adjusting well," Mr. Ingram said, sitting on Root's vacant stool. "Mr. Finch told me that she hasn't reached out about BACKS yet."

Sameen shook her head and ran a hand over her ponytail. "She's having a hard time adjusting. I think if it had just been her mom or just her hearing, it wouldn't be so bad, but…" Sameen shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not really equipped for this."

"I'm sure you're doing your best," Mr. Ingram patted her knee. "All you can do is be there for her."

"Yeah," Sameen sighed.

The bell rang and Mr. Ingram stood up. Root walked back into the classroom, looking calmer. As she got closer, Sameen could see her ears were red. Root glared at her as she walked back to the table. As Root sat down, Sameen opened her mouth to talk, but Root cut her off.

"Don't bother," she said, her voice raspy, "I can't fucking hear you anyway."

Root stared at the front of the classroom, leaving Sameen looking at her ear. Sameen's stomach clenched and she turned away.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen stared up at the treehouse, her hand on the ladder. She wasn't sure if trying to talk to Root was a good idea, but she couldn't do nothing. Root had been ignoring her for weeks now and it was killing her. Sameen nodded to herself and climbed up the ladder.

For the past few weeks, Root had taken to making comments about Sameen's emotional deficit. Every time Sameen tried to talk to her, it was 'what's the point?' or 'you wouldn't understand.' Sameen was determined to be there for Root, though. This was her fault and she was going to fix it.

Sameen walked down the balcony to the front door and tried the handle. It was locked. She knocked on the door. There was a moment of silence before she heard footsteps. The lock clicked and Root opened the door, wearing her favorite dog shirt.

"What do you want?" Root asked, her face blotchy from crying. "I'm not interested."

"Root," Sameen shoved her hands in her pockets, "please? Talk to me."

Root stared at her, her face blank. Finally, she nodded and stepped back, letting Sameen into the treehouse. It was a mess. The twin bed they'd moved in was shoved against the wall, unmade. Clothing was strewn everywhere and all of Root's stuff was on the floor. That wasn't what caught Sameen's eye, though.

"Your radio," Sameen breathed. She walked across the room to kneel on the floor in front of the pieces. "What happened?"

Root's voice was flat and emotionless. "I can't listen to it anymore. It's not the same."

Sameen turned to look up at Root. "But you worked so hard on this. Why did you destroy it?"

"If I can't listen, then what's the point?" Root looked away as tears started running down her face again. She angrily wiped them away. "Everything is so loud and so wrong and I can't stop fucking crying."

Sameen rose to her feet and crossed the room. She pulled Root's hands away from her face, trying to look into her eyes. Root kept her face turned away, leaving Sameen on her deaf side. Sameen reached out to pull Root's face to her.

"Hey," she said softly, "it hasn't been that long. It'll get better, I know it will."

Root stared at her, her mouth open. "That's what you've got? 'It'll get better'? Wow, why didn't I think of that?"

Root pulled away from Sameen and stormed across the room, hopping up the stairs to the second level. Sameen stared after her, not sure if she should follow. She closed her eyes.

Sameen wanted to comfort Root. She wanted to know if they were still girlfriends, if Root would ever forgive her, if things would ever be normal again. She tried to think of something comforting to say that would make Root forgive her. Maybe that was the problem. She should focus on making Root feel better and not on making Root forgive her. Was that right?

"You know," Root said, startling Sameen, "when you're trying to comfort someone, it's better to be where they are."

"Oh," Sameen took a step forward, "sorry. I wasn't sure…"

Root frowned at her from the top of the steps, her hand resting on the doorway. Sameen could help, but look her over. Her legs were bare and Sameen could see that Root's knees were scrapped, like she'd fallen on something hard. The red was fading from Root's face.

"I just," Root sighed and ran a hand through her hair, "I can't figure out how I feel about you right now."

Sameen swallowed. She wanted to say something, but Root's glare made her voice stick in her throat.

"I'm mad at you for taking my mom away. I'm disappointed in myself for thinking that I'd finally found someone who wouldn't let me down."

Sameen stepped forward again. "Root-"

"No," she held her hand up, "I'm talking." She waited until Sameen nodded before continuing. "Everybody close to me, my dad, Hanna, my mom, has left me. Not you, though. You're standing right in front of me, but I can barely stand you."

Root shook her head and winced. "I wish I could make you feel what I feel. Make you understand what it feels like to lose everything."

Sameen frowned. "I've lost things. You're not the only orphan, you know."

"But I'm the only orphan that seems to care."

"That's not fair," Sameen breathed. Her stomached clenched painfully and she crossed her arms. "I try my best, you know that. I do miss my parents."

"But do you love them, Sameen?"

Sameen tried to answer, but hesitated. She wanted to say yes. Of course she loved her parents. She couldn't say anything, though. She wasn't sure if that was true. If she didn't love her parents, how was she so sure she loved Root? How could she be sure any of this was permanent? She looked up at Root, feeling like she was going to throw up.

"Yeah," Root sighed, "that's what I thought."

Root thumped down the stairs and crossed the room, kicking the pieces of her radio aside. She threw herself onto her bed. Sameen crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry I'm not as…emotionally aware as you are. We can't all be a city that doesn't sleep."

Root sat up, angrily throwing blankets over her legs. "Don't talk to me like that. Don't bring up things from our trip. We're not friends right now."

"Look," Sameen growled, "I'm sorry that your mom is gone, but you can't throw my issues in my face." She threw her hands up in the air. "I'm trying to talk to you about all this."

"Well, you're not doing a very good job," Root spat. "I'm telling you what I need and it's for you to go away."

Sameen huffed, but she didn't move. "How long are you going to be mad at me? What do I have to do to make up for it?"

Root stopped fussing with the blankets and looked up at her. "'How long…' Wow. You really don't get it, do you?"

"No!" Sameen shouted, her hands clenching into fists. "I don't! I don't get it! That's why you have to talk to me. You have to tell me what to do."

Root shook her head, her body slumping. "I can't take care of you right now, Sameen. I can't be your emotions for you. I'm just…tired and my head hurts so much all the time."

"I don't want you to be my emotions," Sameen said. "I'm just trying to help."

"I don't want your help. I'm not going to say it again, Sameen. Go away."

Sameen looked at her for another minute and then turned on her heels and left. She slammed the door behind her and ran down the balcony.

Not bothering with the rope ladder, she just jumped down to the ground, her ankle twisting painfully. Sameen ignored it, running to the screened porch and bursting into the house. She hurried upstairs and locked herself in her room.

Sameen slid down her door to the floor, sucking in loud breaths. She was so angry at Root, but she still wanted to help. She wanted Root to be ok again, for them to be ok again. She squeezed her eyes shut, overwhelmed. Sameen banged her head back on her door. She hated this.

Sameen opened her eyes and crawled forward to the center of the room. She stretched out into a plank and started doing push-ups. One. Two. Three. Sameen took deep breaths, concentrating on her body. She settled into the rhythm of the exercise, her heart rate slowing.

Slowly, the turmoil inside of her faded and she let herself feel numb. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. She was not going to think about Root. She didn't have feelings and she wasn't going to let herself go wild. Sameen started sweating and, when a tear dripped to the floor, she blamed it on the Texas heat.


	35. Not Ready to Make Nice

Sameen looked into the bleachers as her team cheered around her. They’d just won their first game of the season, but she wasn’t in a mood to celebrate. She hadn’t talked to Root in weeks and now she didn’t see her in the bleachers. Root had never missed a game before.

The crowd started to trickle out and Sameen sighed. She should get home and see if Root was there. Joss jumped onto Sameen’s back and she stumbled backwards, laughing. Zoe appeared in front of her grinning.

“We won!” Zoe cheered, pulling her hair out of its ponytail. “I knew we would, but it’s still exciting!”

Sameen smiled and headed for the locker rooms, wrapping her hands around Joss’ thighs. She guessed Root was still pissed at her. It made her angry that Root wouldn’t show up to her game, though, especially since she was Vice-Captain this year.

“How’s it going with Root?” Joss asked, resting her chin on Sameen’s head. “Still nothing?”

Zoe jumped forward to open the door.

“Still nothing,” Sameen sighed. “She’s as moody as ever.”

Zoe led them into the locker room and Sameen lowered Joss to the ground, torn between changing here or just driving home. She opened her locker to pull out her phone.

“Ugh,” Zoe said from behind her, “John won’t stop texting me.”

Sameen turned around to look at her. “You guys should give him a break. It’s been a long time. He’s just a dumb boy.”

“A dumb boy with bad manners,” Joss grumbled, dropping to a bench and pulling her shoes off. “He thinks he’s the most important part of our relationship, but he’s literally a third of it.”

“And,” Zoe added, tossing her phone onto the bench and putting a foot up, “he still hasn’t apologized.” She started unlacing her cleats.

Sameen unlocked her phone and opened her message with Root. “Maybe you should just sit him down and talk to him.”

“Maybe you should just sit Root down-”

“Don’t,” Sameen scoffed. “I tried. I’m still trying.”

Joss and Zoe gave her sad smiles. Sameen turned away and looked at her messages, scrolling through the past month. Dozens of blue messages passed by with only the occasional reply; she’d been texting Root for weeks. Sometimes it was just hello, to see if she’d get a reply, but sometimes she would text about her day or something that reminded her of Root.

Sameen sighed and pulled up the keyboard. Maybe Root would tell her where she was and they could meet up. She doubted it, though; things were only going downhill.

Sameen put her phone back in her locker and looked up at the girls. “You guys want to come over tonight? I know you’re avoiding John, or whatever, but we could watch a movie or something?”

“Aww, Shaw,” Zoe smiled at her. “Are you lonely?”

“Shut up,” Sameen scowled. She ripped her shirt over her head. “Offer rescinded.”

Joss punched her in the shoulder. “Too late. We’re coming over.”

“Do you think we could all fit in your bed? It’s so much more comfortable than the air mattress.” Zoe pulled her clothes out of her locker. “I’ll bet you’ve never slept with two girls at once.”

Sameen smirked. “You think I can’t handle you both?”

“Oh my god,” Joss gasped. “A threesome!”

“No,” Sameen held her hands up as Joss and Zoe grinned at each other. “I was kidding. I’m not- No way.”

Zoe pouted, sitting on the bench. “Too bad. We’ve had way more sex than you. We could teach you some things.”

“I’m fine.” Sameen rolled her eyes. “Thank you anyway.”

They finished getting dressed and headed out of the locker room. Sameen checked her phone again. Nothing from Root. She looked up at the dark and cloudy sky. Wherever Root was, she was going to get soaked on her way home.

Sameen smirked, the thought of Root getting caught in the rain made her smile. Root had been so mean lately and she deserved some bad luck. Shaking her head, Sameen pushed the thought away. Root could get hurt in the rain, especially if she was driving Ruthie. The thunder could scare her and she could crash.

“Come on!” Joss called from Sameen’s car. “Your old ass car has manual locks, remember?”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen tip-toed down the stairs, Bear at her heels. It was almost three o’clock and she had woken up starving a few minutes ago. It hadn’t been too awful to fall asleep with Zoe and Joss after all; it had been nice to not be alone in her big bed. She hadn’t had company in a while now and the bed seemed too spacious after sleeping in her car with Root.

Bear’s nails clicked loudly on the wood floor and Sameen turned around to shush him. She crossed the hallway into the kitchen, not bothering to turn on the lights; the clock on the stove lit the kitchen with a green glow. She opened the freezer and pulled out pizza rolls, her go-to nighttime snack. Bear walked between her legs as she put the pizza rolls on a plate and into the microwave. After she started the time, she hoped up on the cabinet to wait, resting her feet on Bear’s back and using her toes to pet him.

Sameen hadn’t heard Root come home last night. The sky had opened up just before she and the girls went to sleep; she assumed Root had just gone to the treehouse. She wondered if it was scary to be out in the treehouse in the thunder. Unilateral hearing loss made it hard to pinpoint sound locations. She’d done some research to try and understand Root’s situation better. Hopefully, Root wouldn’t start to hate the rain.

Glancing at the microwave, she hopped off the counter and stopped the time before it beeped. She tossed a pizza roll down to Bear. She heard the front door open and put the plate down on the island.

Bear led her into the hall and she saw Root, lit by the dim light of the lamp in the entranceway, unzipping her rain-soaked leather jacket. Root hung it on a hook and turned around, jumping when she saw Sameen.

“Jesus,” Root breathed, pressing her hand to her chest, “you scared me. I didn’t expect anyone to be awake.”

“Are you just getting home?” Sameen asked, crossing her arms. “It’s 3am.”

Root rolled her eyes, kicking her shoes off. “You’re not my mom. Stop acting like it.”

Sameen watched Root run up the stairs and turned back into the kitchen. Bear looked between them and trotted over to sit at Sameen’s heel, pawing at Sameen’s knee. She looked down and he hopped to his feet, starting to follow Root.

“No, boy,” Sameen whispered, walking back into the kitchen and the pizza rolls, “stay with me.”

The biggest downside to Root staying in the treehouse was that Sameen never knew when she was home or not. She’d tried going to talk to Root several times in the past few weeks, knocking on the door, but Root hadn’t answered. Sameen had assumed it was because she didn’t want to talk, but now she realized Root might not have been there at all.

Sameen picked up a pizza roll, squeezing it gently. Where was Root going if she wasn’t home? Was she going to the hill? Or the train? Sameen hadn’t been there since they’d been back. It felt weird to go without Root. She hadn’t been there alone since she’d broken up with Tomas.

Sighing, she picked up her plate. She walked into the hall, whistling softly for Bear to come, and headed back upstairs. She popped her pizza roll into her mouth. When she reached the landing, she heard the shower running and smiled; Root was so good about not getting sick.

She hesitated for a moment, then turned and walked into the bathroom. The warm air hit her like a wall and she set the plate on the counter, shutting the door behind her.

“Root?” Sameen said, eating another pizza roll. “Is it ok if I stay in here?”

There was no answer. Sameen shrugged and took that as a yes. She leaned forward, wiping the mirror to look at her face. The tan she’d gotten over the summer had hardly faded and she pushed her shirt off her shoulder to see if her bathing suit line was still there.

“Remember how bad your sunburn was?” Sameen chuckled. “You were so good about putting sunscreen on, but one dip in a lake and you were a goner. It faded pretty fast, though. You’re welcome.”

She turned and leaned against the sink, picking up another roll; Bear put a paw on her knee and she fed it to him.

“I’m sure you’re still mad at me,” Sameen nodded. “I know you are, but I hope you don’t hate me quite as much. It’s been a month or so; that’s a long time, right? I am sorry about your mom. You know that, right?”

Again, there was no response. She scratched her forehead and tried to think of something to say. Normally, Root led their conversations and Sameen she just followed along. She decided to stop talking and lifted herself onto the sink, balancing on the edge. Eating another pizza roll, she sighed, her feet lightly kicking the cabinet below her.

She remembered last winter, when they’d shower like this a lot. Root would shower and Sameen would sit on the sink. Then she would shower while Root did her face stuff; for someone who didn’t care how she looked, Root sure had an extensive nightly routine.

Sameen had been looking forward to showering together. She knew John and the girls showered together, although not all at once. She and Root could have showered together too; they could even have figured out shower sex.

The water cut off and Sameen stood up. Root pulled the curtain back and screamed, covering herself when she saw Sameen. Confused, Sameen took a step back. Root closed her eyes, sucking in air.

“What the fuck, Sameen?” Root hissed, yanking a towel off the toilet and wrapping herself. “You scared me!”

Sameen’s eyebrows drew down. “I’ve been here for a while. I was talking to you.”

Root glared at her, standing in the shower. “I can’t hear you in the shower. Obviously.”

“Right,” Sameen sighed. “Sorry.”

The door to the bathroom burst open and John barged in, wearing only a pair of red boxers, wielding a lacrosse trophy like a baseball bat. Sameen rolled her eyes.

“Relax, weirdo. I just startled her.”

“Oh,” John lowered the trophy. “I was scared someone had broken in. Are you ok, Root?”

“Get her out of here.”

Sameen stiffed, not turning around to look at Root. The close company was suddenly overwhelming and she pushed passed John into the hallway, breathing in the cooler air. It still surprised her when Root didn’t want her around and it hurt more than she would have imagined.

Zoe and Joss stuck their heads out of Sameen’s room, looking sleepy and confused; Zoe reached out to Sameen and took her hand, dragging her inside. Sameen resisted the urge to look back at the shower. She shut her door and dropped into her desk chair, Bear laying at her feet.

“What’s going on?” Joss asked, rubbing her eyes. “There was shouting.”

Sameen wiped her face. “I scared Root in the shower. She couldn’t hear me.”

“Oh,” Zoe said, yawning. “Whoops.”

Sameen watched as she and Joss crawled back into bed; their arms wrapped around each other, familiar. She remembered curling up with Root in the back of RBG.

“You coming back to bed?” Joss asked, patting the empty space next to her.

Sameen shook her head and stood. “No, I’m going to go sit in the living room for a while.”

Joss nodded and put her head down, nuzzling against Zoe. Sameen couldn’t look at them anymore. She left the room, patting her thigh to call Bear, and started downstairs. Glancing over her shoulder at the bathroom, she saw that the door was closed. Light shown from the crack underneath and she sighed.

It was getting hard to justify bothering Root, she thought as she stepped off the last step and turned into the living room. She threw herself onto the couch, almost missing it in the dark, and heard Bear lie down on the floor next to her.

She had to listen to Root’s ‘no’ eventually; she couldn’t just chase her around forever. Giving Root space was difficult, though; Sameen didn’t want her to feel unsupported, but Root wasn’t responding to anything she tried. Root wasn’t interesting in being friends, and it made Sameen angry.

What would Root have done if Sameen hadn’t called the police? Mrs. Groves could still have hit her with the mallet. She could still have lost her hearing. Sameen scowled into the couch cushions and rolled over onto her back.

What would she do if Root never forgave her? Move on? Date someone else? She didn’t want to do any of that; she wanted Root.

The living room light turned on and Sameen squinted against the sudden brightness. She sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the couch. Root was standing in the doorway, a blanket and pillow in her arms; she must have raided the linen closet.

“I was going to sleep in here,” Root said, reaching up to tug on her ear. “Because of the rain.”

Sameen stood up and gestured to the couch. “Take it. I’ll go back upstairs.”

Root nodded and walked around her. She dropped her things onto the couch and reached down to pet Bear; he rolled onto his back and gave Root his belly.

Sameen glared at him. “Traitor.”

“Did you say something?” Root asked. “I can’t hear.”

“Yeah, I know,” Sameen snapped. She closed her eyes. “Sorry. I’m just tired.”

She turned around and started leaving, but stopped and turned back apprehensively when Root spoke.

“Hey,” Root pushed hair behind her ear, “you could stay here. With me. If you don’t want to go back up.”

“On the couch?” Sameen asked skeptically. “It’s not that big.”

Root shrugged and tried to smile. “We’ve shared smaller spaces. Remember that one motel? In Idaho? The beach themed one.”

Sameen smiled, relaxing a little bit. “Yeah, in the middle of the desert? It had twin beds.”

“Twin is too generous,” Root chuckled. She picked up the blanket and spread it out on the couch. “Turn the light off.”

Sameen turned off the living room light and carefully made her way to the couch. Once Root had settled, she sat down, sliding her legs under the blanket. Root wrapped her arms around Sameen, spooning her. Sameen felt safe, like she could trust that it would be ok.

“I’m sorry,” Root sighed. “I’m having a hard time.”

Sameen nodded. “I know. I want to help.”

“I want to let you.”

Sameen waited for Root to say more, but there was only silence. She sighed and closed her eyes, letting Root’s breath in her ear lull her to sleep.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen woke up with a start, Bear jumping off her chest. She sat up, rubbing her eyes and trying to orient herself. She remembered falling asleep next to Root last night, but reaching behind her she only felt couch; Root must have left before she’d woken up.

She stood and stretched, groaning loudly. Mrs. Reese walked into the living room.

“You’re up! Are you going to go for a run or should I make you some food?”

“Is Root here?” Sameen asked, squatting down to pet Bear. “She got home pretty late.”

Mrs. Reese nodded. “John told me about what happened. I think she’s already left for the day.”

“Oh,” Sameen shrugged. “I guess I’ll have breakfast. I can work out afterwards.”

Mrs. Reese reached out and laid a hand on Sameen’s shoulder. “How are you? I know this has been stressful for you, too.”

“Not as stressful as it’s been for Root, so I’m fine.”

Mrs. Reese looked at her with sympathy. Sameen stepped back out of reach and rubbed her hands together.

“I think I’m going to go for that jog after all. Save me something.”


	36. Do Better

Sameen held her fist up to Root’s door, hesitating. She’d brought a cake in the shape of an X as a gesture of peace; she’d even worn a ginger wig. If this didn’t get Root to talk to her at least, she wasn’t sure what would.

Swallowing, she knocked on the door and shifted the cake tray back into both hands. Root’s footsteps thumped across the wooden floor and the door swung open.

“Hey…” Sameen trailed off as Root distractedly ran back into the treehouse.

She walked in slowly, pushing the door away with her shoulder, halting uncertainly in the center of the room. Root was shoving things into a bag on her bed, dressed to go out in shorts and rainboots.

“I brought you a gift,” Sameen said. “A cake and a picture opportunity.”

Root stuffed some cables into her duffel bag and glanced over her shoulder. Laughing, she turned to face Sameen.

“You actually wore the Scully wig,” Root shook her head. “Wow.”

Shaking her head to make the wig bounce, Sameen grinned. “If this isn’t a gesture of good will, what is? And…” she held out her X-Files cake, “a cake. We missed two years of friendship a couple weeks ago, but I thought I’d do something.”

Root pursed her lips. It made Sameen feel weird to be on this side of things. She remembered dumping Tomas and how he didn’t stop texting her for weeks after. She grit her teeth. This wasn’t the same at all; she loved Root and Root loved her, too. Hopefully.

“I’m busy,” Root finally said, going back to packing her bag. “I don’t have time for cake.”

“But…I…” Sameen sputtered. “I baked it myself. Mrs. Reese didn’t help at all. It’s cream cheese icing.”

“I’m glad that you’re taking this time to better yourself,” Root snarked. She shoved some clothing into her bag. “I’m bettering myself, too.”

Sameen frowned and pushed the wig’s bangs out of her face. “I don’t know what that means.”

“It means,” said Root, glaring at her, “that I’m working on a project. Alone. Without you. I actually get a lot more done when you’re not around.”

“You did things when we were together,” Sameen protested. “You built that computer. You were always on the NASA site. Um…Remember that robot you built? The kit that Lionel bought you.”

Root rolled her eyes and zipped her bag shut. “That isn’t what I mean. I’m not innovating like that. Right now, I’m experimenting with solar power and digital displays.”

“Where?”

“That’s none of your business,” Root said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. “You’re not- “

“Your mother. Yeah, I got that.” Sameen scowled. “I’m your best friend, Root, and your girlfriend, hopefully. I care about you.” She winced. “As much as I can.”

Root stepped towards her, eyes full of anger. Sameen had never seen this look before. Root looked older and harder and Sameen didn’t recognize her.

“What do I have to do to get it through your thick skull that I’m not interested in being your friend right now?” Root reached out to push Sameen’s chest. Her anger flagged and Sameen watched her swallow. “I know that you’ll just disappoint me and leave me and let me down, that you’re just like everyone else. Well, almost like everyone else. People aren’t good, Sameen. Not people with feelings and certainly not you.”

Growling, Sameen threw the cake to the floor. Root jumped back to avoid the splatter and stared down in shock. Sameen ripped the wig off her head and threw it at Root.

“I get it!” she shouted. “I get it. I’m not good enough. You’re better than me. Fine.”

Staring down at the cake, Root sighed. “Sameen, you worked so hard on that.”

“I worked hard on us, too. I don’t want to throw that away.”

Root turned back to the bed, dropping the wig and picking up her bag. Her fingers ran over the dark blue sheets.

“I’m not in a good place right now. I think that’s obvious.” She slung the strap over her shoulder and turned around. “I’m not going to promise you anything. I don’t know what I’ll want in a month, or more, but right now…I want my space.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “You’ve had space for months. I’ve given you space!”

“There’s no time limit on healing, Sameen!” Root cried, throwing her hands in the air. “I don’t have some magical off-switch that makes me ok.” She sighed and closed her eyes, her shoulders slumping. “Just trust me. I’m working on it.”

“Yeah. You’re working on something with all those weird cables,” Sameen scoffed. “Just forget it. Enjoy the cake.”

She turned and left the treehouse, her jaw clenched. Root called after her, but Sameen didn’t look back.

Root was so full of shit, Sameen thought as she hurried down the ladder and headed into the house. ‘I’m working on it.’ Yeah, right. It had been almost three months since her mother had left and Root still refused to talk about how she felt.

Sameen slammed the door to the house shut behind her, stomping down the hall and up the stairs. Root wanted some space? Sameen could give her space. She could have all space in the fucking world. Sameen didn’t care what she did in the treehouse. She definitely didn’t care what Root did in whatever secret place she was taking those cables.

She burst into her room and slammed the door shut. Root wasn’t the most important person in Sameen’s life; she might think she was, but she was wrong. Sameen had other people in her life, like Mrs. Reese and John and Lionel and Bear.

She paced around her room. Turning to her desk, she growled and launched forward, knocking everything off. The small motor she’d been working on crashed to the floor, scraping the wood. She’d been working on it for Root’s Vespa, another gesture of goodwill; it seems pointless now that Root clearly doesn’t give two shits about her.

She looked around for something else to destroy. A book on her shelf caught her eye: Lord of The Flies. It was the first book Root had read aloud to her, on Valentine’s day – their first – when Root visited her at Lambert’s shop.

She yanked it off the shelf and threw it across the room, feeling better when it banged against the wall. She turned back to the shelf and grabbed another book, and another, until there was a pile in her corner. She stared at the pile, panting from the effort.

It wasn’t enough. Root made her so crazy. That had been a good thing until so recently, and now it made her want to stab something. She closed her eyes trying to remember the last time she’d been so angry.

She scowled as she remembered the day. It was when she was ten or so, just before her dad died. They were at the mall and her mother was telling her a story about a prince and a princess. The princess lived in a tall castle and the prince was from a distant land. He’d come all the way across the sea to meet the princess and win her affections.

Sameen knew the story, of course; her mother told it all the time, but she loved to hear it over and over. Just before her mother got to the part where the prince climbs the castle and gives the princess the most precious thing he owned, his heart, a boy had bumped into Sameen and knocked her to the ground.

Instead of crying, or whatever it was normal kids did, Sameen had thrown herself at the kid and tackled him. She’d punched him in the face until her father pulled her away. She was so mad that he’d ruined the story that she didn’t care, didn’t even think about the consequences.

Shaking her head, she pulled herself back to the present. More. She needed more. She turned to Root’s bookshelf and frowned; they’d brought all of Root’s things over from the house after her mother had left. Most of it was in the treehouse now, but a lot of Root’s books were here.

She walked over to look at the shelves. Most of them were about computers, or aliens, or were 60s lesbian romance novels. She’d never read the romance novels – they were just too trashy for her – but Root loved them. During the summer trip, she’d recited some of the sex scenes from memory. It was hot, in a nerdy way.

Reaching forward, Sameen pulled one off the shelf. Root would be really upset if anything happened to these. She smirked and ripped the cover off. She tossed it over her shoulder and grabbed the next one, destroying it, too.

Grabbing six books off the next shelf down, she thought of the anger in Root’s eyes and threw them into her corner with a grunt of effort. Root didn’t even want to be here. None of her stuff deserved to be here, either. She emptied the shelves all the way to the floor, then reached for the one above her head.

Her fingers brushed against something cool; she pushed herself onto her toes to pull the object down. It was the snow globe, the one she’d given to Root when they’d started talking again after Tomas. It was Nishapur, her mother’s hometown.

Her hands tightened around the base. She could destroy it and feel nothing. She wouldn’t feel loss or regret or guilt. Root would, though. Maybe not right away, but in a few months or a year when she stopped being such a bitch she’d notice the snow globe was gone and she’d miss it.

Sighing, Sameen put it back on the shelf. It had been expensive, and there was no point in playing the long game.

Someone knocked on her door.

“Uh, Shaw?” John’s voice asked. “Are you alright in there?”

“I’m fine,” Sameen snapped. “Go away.” She realized she sounded like Root and rolled her eyes. “Thanks for asking, but I’m fine.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to go get pizza,” he offered. “Maybe talk?”

The last thing on Earth she wanted to do right now was talk. She wanted to smash her TV with her bare hands. She wanted to see if she was strong enough to break her desk into pieces. She wanted… to eat cake with Root on the roof and watch the stars.

“Fine,” she sighed, “but you’re paying.”


	37. If I Ever Feel Better

Sameen lifted her solo cup to her lips and looked around the party. Everyone around her was dressed up for Halloween, but she’d chosen comfort over costume. It was sort of pointless without Root to match her. Sameen pushed her hand into the pocket of her sweatpants and took another sip of beer, her head already fuzzy.

She spotted John and the girls dancing across the living room. Snickering to herself, she watched John try and sway to the beat as Zoe and Joss danced circles around him. They’d made up a couple weeks ago and their bond seemed tighter than ever. Sameen could only hope the same would happen with her and Root.

Angrily finishing her drink, she turned to get another one, but stumbled and bumped into someone. She looked up at them, ready to apologize, but scowled when she saw who it was.

“Watch where you’re going, Hersch,” Sameen slurred. “Not everyone here is a fucking giant.”

Hersch smirked. “I’m not a giant, Shaw. You’re just very small.”

Sameen stepped back, offended. “Excuse me? I could beat the shit out of you, asshole.”

“Hey,” Hersch held his hands up, “it was just a joke. I’m sorry.”

Swallowing, Sameen squinted up at him. He was being nice... Too nice. “Do you think you’re better than me?”

Hersch shook his head, confused by the question. “What? No. I’m just not going to fight you right now.”

“What if I want to fight?”

“No.” Hersch put his hands on her shoulders. “I know you’re upset about Root and I’m sorry about her mom.”

Sameen swung her arms up and pushed his hands away. “You’re sorry? It was your dad’s bar that sold alcohol to an alcoholic.”

Hersch winced and nodded. “I know. I talked to him about it. He’s not exactly…sober, either.”

“Oh,” Sameen shrugged. Her neck was starting to grow warm. How much had she drunk? “Well…tell him to stop it.”

“Ok, Shaw. You know,” he added disdainfully, “I wouldn’t have expected this from you,”

The cup in Sameen’s hand crunched loudly and she stared down at her hand, surprised. Her fingers poked through the cup, the plastic edges sharp against her skin. She shook it off, letting it clatter to the floor, and turned her attention back to Hersch.

“What?” She glared at him. “Expected what?”

He crossed his arms. “You’re so emotional recently. Always angry.”

“I’m not a fucking stone,” she snarled at him, his words striking a sore spot. “I’m allowed to think about things. I’m not a monster.”

“I didn’t say you were,” Hersch sighed, his forehead scrunching. “You’re just normally so unaffected. Maybe Root fixed you.”

She bared her teeth and drew herself up to her full height. “I’m not broken. You better watch your mouth before I decide to break it.”

Hersch had the decency to flinch at that. He turned away, but Lambert appeared beside him and swung an arm over his shoulders, keeping him in place.

“Hey, Shaw!” Lambert grinned, trashed. “If I’d known that a blow to the head caused hearing loss, I would have aimed better in PhysEd!”

That was the last straw. Sameen launched across the short distance and crashed into Lambert, sending them both onto the tiled floor with a thud. She fisted her hands in the front of his shirt as she straddled him. Lifting him up, she shoved him into the ground as hard as possible; his loud grunt at the impact made her grin, her mind clouded with alcohol and anger.

She pulled her fist into the air and punched him across the face. The sting on her knuckles felt like vengeance. Sameen landed blow after blow against his skull, her face twisted in rage. She heard the crunch of bone as she broke his nose.

Strong arms wrapped around her, pinning her arms to her side and lifting her into the air. She struggled against them, but the person was bigger than her and she couldn’t free herself. It felt like John, the feeling of his arms dragging her away from fights familiar now.

He carried her out of the house kicking and screaming. Sameen wasn’t even sure what she was shouting, but she hoped it was threatening. Lambert deserved more than what she’s given him. He wasn’t even unconscious yet.

They walked out of the house; the muggy October air immediately making her sweat. John threw her onto the grass and she tried to stand up, but her feet slipped out from under her. Cursing, she finally climbed to her feet and turned back to the house, ready to storm inside and fight anyone who got in her way.

She spotted Joss with a hose seconds before the water hit her in the stomach and knocked her down again. Sputtering, she turned over and let the water hit her back instead of her face. The cold water cleared her head a bit and she held her hands up in defeat.

The water cut off and Sameen shifted to lie on her back, wiping her face off. Throwing the hose to the ground, Joss stomped over to her.

“You need to cut this shit out, Shaw,” Joss scowled. “You’re being violent on the field. You’re being violent in class, at parties.”

“I’m not in a great place,” Sameen growled and sat up.

Joss crossed her arms. “I know that. Obviously, I know all about that. It doesn’t mean you can be reckless. You’re no good to anyone in Juvie. Stop this right now, or I’ll kick you from the team.”

Sameen scrambled to her feet. “You can’t! I’m Vice-Captain!”

Joss gestured behind her to Zoe. “We have other options. You’re not irreplaceable.”

Sameen’s stomach clenched as she thought about Root replacing her. That wasn’t possible, right? If Root wasn’t interested in being with Sameen, she probably wasn’t interested in being with anyone else either. Right?

“Ok,” John said, stepping forward, “I’m going to take Sameen to the gym.”

“The gym?” she asked, still fuzzy. “It’s like 10pm.”

John shrugged and grabbed her elbow, dragging her into the street. “I have a key.”

“To the gym? I thought I was bad,” Sameen scoffed.

They started down the street towards their house, John keeping a firm grip on her arm so she couldn’t escape.

A while later, John pulled his car into the Bishop Gym parking lot. Sameen glared out the window, slumping in her seat. This was stupid. John thought doing weights was going to calm her down? She was way past that. Also, her buzz was wearing off and her head was starting to hurt.

John turned the car off and started climbing out. When Sameen didn’t move, he reached over and unbuckled her seatbelt for her. She rolled her eyes and got out of the car, slamming the door shut behind her. They walked to the front door, Sameen stomping as loudly as she could in her sneakers.

She followed John into the gym, wincing as he turned the lights on. Sameen hadn’t been here since they finished the treehouse and Mrs. Reese had bought her weights. It was as lame as she remembered. When she went to college, she was going to find a better gym.

The center of the one-room gym had a boxing ring and, for a minute, Sameen expected John to lead them onto it. She subtly appraised him and decided that it would be difficult, but she could take him. He didn’t take them to the ring, though, instead walking them over to a punching bag hanging from the ceiling.

“I’m going to spot you,” John said, pulling out a pair of gloves from his backpack and tossing them to her. “You’re going to punch and listen.”

“Listen?” Sameen rolled her eyes as she put the gloves on. “To what?”

“To me.”

John braced himself against the bag and Sameen moved to the other side, bouncing on her toes. She tried to focus on her body, but her first punch lacked any power. Her bruised knuckles brushed against the bag and she winced. Sighing, she stepped back and pulled her gloves off to pull her wet hair up into a bun.

She looked at John expectedly. “Well?”

“I know what Root’s going through,” he said, softly, “and what you went through.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and pulled her gloves back on. She dropped into her punching stance. “I doubt that.”

“You don’t wonder where my dad is?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I guess, so,” Sameen said, striking the bag. “You and mom don’t really talk about it.”

John smiled, adjusting his feet. “It’s nice that you call her mom sometimes. She really appreciates it.”

“She’s our mom, dude. Don’t read into it.”

“My father died when I was 11, so…four years before you and Lionel came.”

Sameen glanced at him. His forehead was crinkled; he looked sad. She punched the bag again, harder this time.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

John shrugged, his shoulders tense. “I’m pretty much over it. It’s been seven years. I do miss him sometimes, though. He was in the army.”

“My dad was a marine,” Sameen offered. She grit her teeth and punched the bag a few times in rapid succession. “Are you going to join the military, too?”

“I don’t think so,” John sighed. “I think it would hurt my mom a lot. I’m planning to join the police force after I graduate though.”

“Oh yeah?” She swung her arms in small circles. “What about Zoe and Joss? Do you guys have a plan? You’re all graduating in a few months.”

He nodded, smiling to himself. “We’re all moving to College Station. Zoe and Joss want to go to Texas A&M. Zoe for Political Science and Joss for Law. They want to do good things.”

Sameen chuckled. She started punching in a steady rhythm, the sounds echoing off the concrete walls. “That sounds about right. It’s good that you have a plan.”

“Yeah,” He agreed. After a moment, he added, “I was talking about my dad dying.”

“Right. Sorry.”

John shifted his feet again, adjusting his grip on the bag. “It’s ok. I was going to say that I got really depressed when he died. Mom was having a hard time and I started getting into trouble at school. I was pretty small before my growth spurt in 9th grade.”

“I’m annoyed that I missed that,” Sameen panted, her muscles starting to burn.

“I’m not,” John laughed. “I was getting into a lot of fights…and losing. I was small, like you, but not nearly as tough. My mom ended up sending me to a therapist. The therapist recommended a sport – I picked Lacrosse - and I started going to the gym.”

“I got into soccer for sort of the same reason,” Sameen said. “My foster dad said I could learn another way to channel my energy, or I could go to juvie. It’s not my fault middle school boys can’t keep their hands to themselves.” She stepped back and glanced at him. “Sorry. Keep going.”

John stepped away from the bag and pushed his hands into his costume. He was dressed as Luke Skywalker; he’d wanted to be Han Solo, but Joss had called it first. He looked handsome, she thought, his five o’clock shadow making him look older. Sameen smiled. She couldn’t believe he was going away to college next year.

“Well,” John said, digging the toe of his boot into the floor, “I noticed that my mom wasn’t getting happier, not like I was, and I told her that she should see a therapist. It had helped me and I thought it would help her, too.”

“That’s nice,” Sameen nodded. “Did she?”

“She had been,” John replied, thoughtfully. “I asked why it wasn’t working and she said that it was, but she knew that I’d be going to college in a few years and she’d be alone, for real.”

“Oh.”

Sameen scratched her neck and thought about that. She’d never really considered why Mrs. Reese had adopted them. It had just happened and Sameen had been glad to have somewhere steady to live, instead of bouncing around foster homes. If pressed, she might have said it was so John would have friends.

Sameen sighed and squatted down, dropping to sit on the floor. She stretched her legs in front of her, the concrete cool against her sweaty skin. Now it made sense that John wanted to talk to her; she’d closed herself off and let her anger at Root sit inside of her. She wasn’t alone, though, and even without Root there were people she could talk to.

“Ok,” she gestured for John to sit down. “Finish the story.”

“I told her to adopt some younger kids,” he winked at Sameen. “I didn’t bargain on getting you two depressed losers.”

Sameen laughed and started taking her gloves off. “Yeah, we are a…family of grumps. Lionel is nice, though. Kid’s got potential.”

“He does,” John agreed, smiling. “It’s nice that you’ve been working out with him. He really appreciates it.”

She rolled her eyes and tossed the gloves back to John. “Whatever. He needs some friends.”

“If you get over this anger thing,” John started, “maybe the three of us could hang out more. You’ve got some time and I can make some time. I want us to stay in touch after I leave.”

Sameen frowned at him, the last of her anger dissipating. She didn’t want to think about him leaving. It made her feel weird. Not in the same way as Root, but similar. She would miss him.

“Ugh,” she groaned, dropping onto her back. “I’m not complicated enough for this.”

“I think you’re too complicated.” John disagreed. He climbed to his feet and walked over to her. “Come on. Let’s go home. I’ll text the girls and we can watch a movie in the living room.”

Sameen nodded and reached up, letting him pull her to her feet.

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Sameen snuggled further under her blanket on the couch. John, Lionel, and the girls were sprawled out on the floor in front of her as Hocus Pocus played on the tv. The witches danced with a fake Satan and Sameen stretched her legs out. She was glad that they’d turned the lights off to watch the movie; her headache was only getting worse.

The front door opened noisily; it was probably Root, back from wherever it was she went. Sameen didn’t bother to move. Root hadn’t shown up for the family picture before they set out trick or treating and Mrs. Reese had looked so disappointed. It didn’t exactly make Root look good.

Root stepped into the living room, not wearing a costume. Sameen ignored her and kept her eyes fixed on the screen.

“Hey,” Root said to the room, and everyone but Sameen looked up at her. “Can I join you guys?”

John glanced at Sameen, who gritted her teeth, but nodded to Root. “Sure.”

Root gave him a half-smile and moved to the couch, stopping next to Sameen’s head.

“Can I sit with you?” she asked quietly.

Sameen didn’t answer, but she sat up and moved to the far end of the couch; Root needed space, after all. She could feel Root’s gaze, but still refused to look at her. It was just too much tonight and Sameen didn’t trust herself not to get angry again.

The talk with John had helped; she knew now that she could reach out to him if she needed to. She probably wouldn’t, but the option was there. The couch vibrated and Sameen looked around.

Root pulled her phone out, the screen lighting up her face. Sameen watched from the corner of her eye as Root grinned at the phone and typed out a reply. She rolled her eyes; when she’d started texting Tomas she’d at least had the decency not to do it right in front of Root.

Of course, she remembered, that was lead to their big fight and first ‘break up’. She sighed and stood, dropping the blanket onto the couch behind her.

“I’m going to shower,” Sameen announced to the room. “Good night.”

The group wished her a goodnight and she headed out of the room, walking past Root without a glance.


	38. Please Don't Say You Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when I'll post the next chapter. Things are super busy right now, but I think you'll like how this chapter ends. Present list at the end, as per usual (except for Shaw's birthday. That will be next chapter)!

Sameen kicked off her heels and dropped into a chair in the living room. Thanksgiving was the most pointless holiday. Everyone had to dress up and hang out and Aunt Marla always tried to kiss her cheeks. Not to mention Harold and Grace had come this year. Sameen rolled her eyes; it was bad enough she had to deal with Harold in class, but now he was at her house.

She glanced across the room at Root, who was sitting on the couch, her feet tucked up under her. Sameen had to admit that she looked nice, her blue dress complimenting her skin tone. Running through Root’s closet in her head, Sameen realized that she’d never seen this dress before. When had Root gotten it?

Root stared at her for a moment before climbing to her feet. Sameen watched as Root approached her and debated standing up. Before she could decide, a girl ran into the room and covered Root’s eyes from behind.

Sameen shot to her feet when Root jumped, defensive.

“Guess who?” the girl asked.

Root’s scowled turned into a grin and she screamed, spinning around. She and the girl jumped in place and threw their arms around each other.

“You actually came?” Root exclaimed. “I can’t believe it!”

“Believe it!” The girl laughed and pulled Root into a hug again.

Sameen frowned at them, crossing her arms. Who was the chick? She was cute, Sameen would give her that, with her curly brown hair and her stupid chubby cheeks that made her look adorable. If Sameen wasn’t so angry that she was touching Root, she might have called the girl hot, in her dumb flower dress.

John walked over to her. “That’s Hanna,” he said. “Root’s old best friend.”

Sameen’s eyes widened and her jealousy doubled. Hanna? What was that bitch doing here? Didn’t she like die or something?

“Do you know what she’s doing here?” Sameen hissed.

John just shrugged. “No. I mean, I know Root had started talking to her again, but I didn’t think she’d actually come back to Bishop. Her uncle still lives here. She might be visiting him for the holidays.”

Sameen glared at Hanna across the room. Hanna had abandoned Root and now she had the audacity to try and be friends again. That girl has some nerve.

Hanna pushed Root’s hair away from her ear and looked at something on her neck.

“A tattoo?” Hanna gasped. “Wow!”

Root moved to Hanna’s other side. “I’m deaf in that ear, sorry. What did you say?”

Sameen walked across the room in quick steps and joined the other girls. She ignored Hanna and turned to face Root, crossing her arms.

“You got a tattoo?” Sameen asked her. “When?”

Root looked sheepish. “I gave it to myself a couple weeks ago. I set up a bunch of mirrors so I could see.”

“Can I look at it?”

Root nodded and turned her head, lifting her hair. Behind her right ear was a small megaphone with an ‘X’ next to it. Sameen realized it was a mute symbol, like on a computer. She had to admit, it was both clever and cute. Hanna’s hand came into view and she ran her finger over the tattoo.

“That’s so cool, Root,” Hanna said.

Sameen knocked her hand away. “She can’t hear you from this side.”

Hanna frowned and moved to Root’s other side. She offered Sameen her hand.

“I’m Hanna, Root’s best friend.”

Sameen took her hand, squeezing a little harder than necessary. “I’m Sameen, Root’s…current best friend.” She dropped Hanna’s hand.

“That’s funny,” Hanna tilted her head. “She hasn’t mentioned you.”

Wincing, Sameen turned away and stalked back to her seat. Root hadn’t mentioned her to Hanna. They’d been friends for two years and Root hadn’t mentioned her at all. Sameen tried to tell herself that Root and Hanna hadn’t talked at all during that time and they’d only reconnected, but still. She was important to Root. She should be important to Root.

Hanna turned to Root and smiled. “Come on, let’s ditch this funeral. I want to see if our clubhouse is still there.”

Root met Sameen’s eyes and Sameen knew she was trying to figure out how Sameen felt. Sameen felt…numb. It was a welcome relief from the turmoil of the past couple of months. Sameen wanted to tell Root to stay, but she couldn’t. She was tired of looking weak in front of everyone.

Root nodded to Hanna and they left the room. A moment later, the front door closed loudly.

“Wait,” Lionel spoke up from in front of the television, “we can leave? Anyone want to get ice cream?”

Sameen scowled. “Ice cream isn’t on your nutrition plan, numbnut.”

“Ouch,” Lionel rolled his eyes. “I’m not your girlfriend, dude. Don’t be rude.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

It had taken Sameen almost a week to get Root’s birthday present together, but as she held it in her hands, she was pretty satisfied. She almost hadn’t gotten anything, but Root had been nicer this week and Sameen wanted to show that she noticed. They didn’t have any plans for the night, but she was going to invite Root to go out.

Sameen glanced at her phone. School had ended almost an hour ago and Sameen had been hanging out in the parking lot for a while, so she knew Root was still here. What was taking her so long? It was the last day of school before winter break and everyone else was already gone. Sameen sighed and turned to her car just as the front door to the school opened.

She recognized Root’s laugh and turned around. Root and Hanna were coming down the steps and Sameen scowled. Why was Hanna here? She didn’t even go to school here anymore. Sameen didn’t know if she’d been in Root’s classes with her.

After Sameen had thrown the cake to the ground, she’d been transferred to all new classes. Principal McCarthy had said that there had been a system error and Sameen had been put in the wrong periods at the beginning of the year. She knew, though, that Root moved her around so they wouldn’t have to sit next to each other.

Sameen’s hands tightened around the photo album in her hands and she reconsidered the gift. What was the point in following Root around like a dog? She’d had hope before Thanksgiving, but seeing Root so happy with Hanna made her stomach hurt.

Root spotted her across the parking lot and frowned. She turned to whisper something to Hanna and then started towards Sameen, pushing her bag higher on her shoulders. As she got closer, Root smiled.

“Hey,” Root started, “were you waiting for me? I was giving Hanna a tour. She never got to see the high school.”

“I got you this,” Sameen said, briskly. She shoved the photo album into Root’s arms. “Happy birthday.”

Root ran her hands over the glitter glue letters on the cover. Sameen had made it into something she thought Root would like. It was rainbow and glittery, the words ‘Root and Sameen Explore The Universe’ written in cursive that had taken Sameen an hour to do. That’s what they had named their trip’s mixtape and Sameen thought it was fitting to name their album that, too.

“It’s got the pictures that I took,” Sameen explained. “You never got to see them.”

Root held the book to her chest, crossing her arms over it protectively. Looking at Sameen with watery eyes, she smiled.

“Thanks, Sameen. I’ll look at it later.”

Nodding, Sameen kicked at the gravel on the ground. “We don’t have any plans. To celebrate, I mean. Are you going to be home?”

“No,” Root said apologetically. “I’m going out with Hanna.”

Sameen’s eyebrows drew down at Root’s choice of words. She was going out with Hanna? Did that mean she was dating Hanna now? Sameen knew that Hanna had been Root’s first kiss, but was Hanna actually gay?

“I mean,” Root clarified, “Hanna and I are hanging out. We’re going to Corpus Christi.”

Sameen sighed with relief. She ran a hand over her ponytail, nodding.

“To see Contact? That’s what I had planned to do with you.”

“Oh,” Root breathed. She glanced over her shoulder at Hanna for a second. Turning back to Sameen, she adjusted her grip on the album. “Do you…Um.”

Sameen held her breath with anticipation. Root was going to ask her to hang out. The photo album had been a good idea after all. Root winced and shook her head.

“Sorry, I have to go.”

She turned on her heel and headed back across the parking lot. Sameen watched as they climbed into a large black range rover. Of course, Hanna was loaded. Her parents were probably fancy doctors and she could buy Root anything her heart desired.

They drove away and Sameen turned back to her car. She seethed, kicking the tire as hard as she could.

“Fuck!”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen nodded along to the Christmas music playing as she watched Root open her last gift, a boombox from Mrs. Reese that played music as a light show, and took a sip of cocoa. Root had been quiet for most of the morning, only talking when someone thanked her for her gift. It was hard to tell what she was thinking, more so than normal.

If Sameen had to guess, she’d think that Root was hiding her feelings on purpose. Root had always been happy during the holidays, excited for the parties and gifts. These Root was different.

Root glanced at Sameen and pushed her hair behind her ear. Sameen smiled back, trying to seem approachable. Root had almost reached out to her a few days ago in the parking lot and now Sameen had regained some hope. It was hard to keep it up, but Root was starting to open up and it made her feel better.

“So,” Mrs. Reese said, grinning at the group, “breakfast?”

Root climbed to her feet, keeping the boombox in her hands. “I have to go. I have an appointment.”

Sameen watched her walk out of the room and scowled. She turned back to Mrs. Reese.

“Ok,” Sameen said, “that has gotten really annoying, right? Am I the only one?”

Mrs. Reese frowned. “It has gotten a bit out of hand,” she agreed. “I’m still a bit upset that she left Thanksgiving dinner without a word.”

“Should we talk to her?” John asked from the couch, looking dumb in his matching Christmas pajamas. “Tell her it isn’t ok?”

“I’ll talk to her,” Mrs. Reese sighed. “Let’s not worry about it right now.” She stood up and put on a smile. “Breakfast?”

The kids stood up and followed her into the kitchen. Mrs. Reese let the boys pass her and walked next to Sameen.

“Are you going to look for her?” Mrs. Reese asked her.

Sameen nodded. “I can bring her back. After breakfast, though. I know you made 1000 pancakes and I’m going to eat every single one.”

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Looking up at into the train, Sameen squinted against the midday sun. After breakfast, she’d gone to the hill to look for Root. Root hadn’t been there, and she wasn’t answering her phone, so Sameen had tried the clubhouse next.

It looked different than the last time she’d been here. Although, that wasn’t really surprising. She hadn’t been back since before the road trip. Sameen looked at lightbulbs dangling on strings from the ceiling and smiled. It was obvious that this was where Root had been staying lately.

She was here, so she might as well check it out. Sameen turned to the set of wooden stairs someone had built. Had Root made these herself? She put her weight on the first step and they wobbled precariously on the uneven ground. Yup, Root had built them.

Sameen carefully climbed the steps into the train and looked around. To the right of the entrance, tucked back against the far wall was a bed. Well, a mattress on a box spring on the floor. The bed was unmade, of course, but Sameen could see their dark green blanket tangled in the sheets. She was surprised that Root had brought that out here.

Stepping closer, Sameen laughed. Root was using one of Sameen’s shirts as a pillowcase. Open on the bed was the photo album Sameen had just given her. Reaching out, Sameen turned the book so she could see it. She smiled. It was open to the pictures of Root naked in the pool at that beautiful Oregon motel. Her skin glowed under the red and yellow neon lights.

There were other signs of Sameen scattered around the bedroom area. A mannequin hand was standing on the small wooden, bedside table. Sameen twisted her ring around her finger when she saw Root’s matching one. Root had given it to her last year. The plastic hand was also wearing Root’s matching bracelet from their first Christmas.

Sameen stepped on something soft and looked down. Her foot was on top of a bunny slipper; the ones she’d bought Root years ago. Sameen’s heart clenched painfully and she took a deep breath. Root was keeping so many reminders of their time together. That had to mean something, right? Maybe Sameen was right not to have given up altogether.

She walked around the bed to a large glass square attached to the wall. Looking it over, she didn’t see anything special about it. Was it Root’s whiteboard? She didn’t see any markers laying around. Sameen reached out to touch the glass and jumped when the glass lit up.

It looked like a computer screen, but Sameen didn’t see any buttons.

“What the hell?” she breathed. “What is this?”

Sameen’s words appeared on the screen and disappeared again. Several Google search results popped up in front of her. It really was a computer, Sameen realized. Root had built this. ‘I’m innovating,’ Root had said. Apparently, that was true.

“Uh,” Sameen stuttered. “Turn off?”

The display disappeared and the screen was blank again. Shrugging, Sameen made a mental note to ask Root how that worked. It was like something from the future. What else had Root built out here?

Sameen crossed the room, sticking her head outside to look around. She noticed now there was a solar panel attached to the top of the train. A small cable ran inside and disappeared along the floor. Root had found a way to get power into this rusty car.

She ducked back in and moved to the other end of the train. Several posters were stuck to the wall. All the posters John had given her were taped up and a string of Polaroids hung above several stacks of books. Sameen’s winced when she saw Root had taped the covers back on to the books she’d destroyed.

There was a mini-fridge in the corner and, on top of it, the boombox Mrs. Reese had just given her. Sameen must have waited too long before going after her. There was a stack of CDs and cassettes next to it. Striding across the room, Sameen looked through them. Most of it was classical music, but one of the cassettes surprised her.

It was their road trip mixtape. Sameen stared at it, her insides churning. This whole train was a monument to their relationship. Root had brought so many memories here and now Sameen could see how Root felt.

Root did love her. Sameen closed her eyes. She had to talk to Root about this and not back down this time. She knew the truth and she wasn’t going to let Root push her away. When was the best time to bring it up?

Sameen opened her eyes. The New Year’s party. She would find Root there, confess her love, and then they’d kiss at midnight like they did every year. She grinned, putting the cassette back on the stack and turning to look around the train. She felt…hopeful. Her heart beat hard in her chest and Sameen thought she might even feel happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Present List  
> Root’s Bday  
> From Shaw: Photo Album  
> From John: ‘I Want To Believe’ Poster  
> From Lionel: Collection of Hawkeye Comics  
> From Mrs Reese: boombox that displays lights along with music.
> 
> Christmas  
> To Root:  
> From Shaw: Alien Socks  
> From Lionel: Bear Onesie  
> From John: Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M Pirsig  
> From Mrs. Reese: Copy of Halloween Picture (“Since you missed it.”)
> 
> To Shaw:  
> From Root: Alien Crop Top  
> From Lionel: Pokemon Shirt that says “Trainer of the Year.”  
> From John: Membership at Bishop Gym  
> From Mrs. Reese: New Soccer cleats and stack of SAT Books (“You and Root can share!”)
> 
> To John:  
> From Root: 3 Mugs that all say “My Girlfriend Loves Me.”  
> From Shaw: All of Walker, Texas Ranger  
> From Lionel: All 7 Police Academy movies  
> From Mrs. Reese: A bunch of Texas, A&M gear (“To support Zoe and Joss!”)
> 
> To Lionel:  
> From Root: plushie of a police officer that looks like John (“So you don’t get lonely next year”)  
> From Shaw: His own set of dumbbells  
> From John: Membership at Bishop Gym (“Sibling Bonding!”)  
> From Mrs. Reese: Tickets to see Dixie Chicks in concert
> 
> To Mrs. Reese:  
> Another picture of all of them (W/ Zoe and Joss)


	39. Tell Her You Love Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Here you go!

Sameen stopped in front of Martine’s house and sucked in air. She’d run the half mile from her house to make it before midnight. Pushing her hair out of her face, she looked at her phone – 11:47. She drew another breath and walked into the party.

It had taken her over an hour to get ready; she was determined to look good for her talk with Root; even though she was confident Root wanted to be with her again, Sameen had decided that dressing up couldn’t hurt. She walked into the living room, looking around for her friends.

Spotting John’s gelled hair above the crowd, she made her way towards them, her heels clicking against the tile floor. The black stilettos made her 5 foot 7, almost as tall as Root, and she was relishing every extra inch. Someone whistled as she passed and a smug grin spread across her face.

“Whoa,” Zoe breathed when Sameen stopped in front of her, “you look amazing.”

John flushed. “You look hot. It’s…weird.”

Sameen tossed her curled hair over her shoulder and shrugged. “I am hot, John. All the time.”

“I think it’s the abs,” Lionel threw out. “Intimidating, but appealing.”

Laughing, Sameen reached out to tousle his hair. She looked over her shoulder at the people around them. Root was at the party, she knew that, but she didn’t see her anywhere.

“Have you seen Root?” she asked, adjusting her crop top on her shoulders. She’d worn the alien crop top Root had given her for Christmas. If that didn’t say love, Sameen didn’t know what would. “She said she was coming tonight.”

“She was with us earlier,” Joss said, shrugging.. “Maybe she went upstairs? It’s pretty loud.”

“Alright,” Sameen nodded. “Thanks.”

Turning on her heel, Sameen headed back into the hallway to the staircase. She’d only set one foot on the stairs when someone grabbed her arm. Her gaze dropped to the hand on her elbow, then traced along the pale arm to Martine’s face. She scowled and ripped her arm away.

“Why are you touching me?” she demanded, annoyed. “I thought I told you to leave us alone.”

Martine swallowed. “I know, but…I wouldn’t go up there.”

“Excuse me?” Sameen turned to face her fully. Her heels and the step gave her almost a foot on Martine. “I know this is your house, but throwing a rager means people wander around.”

“I know.” Martine crossed her arms. “It’s not that.”

“Then what?” Sameen asked, impatient. “What could possibly be so important that you had to touch me?”

Martine stared at her for a moment, lips pursed. “You know what? Forget it.”

“Whatever.” Sameen rolled her eyes and started up the stars again.

She walked down the hallway, sticking her head in various rooms. They’d never come up here before. Normally, she and Root hung out in the living room the whole party. smiled, remembering last Halloween when they’d made out in the downstairs bathroom. She might actually miss Martine’s house when they graduated.

The countdown started as Sameen stuck her head into the second to last room, finding it empty. She realized that Root must be in Martine’s bedroom. Oh man, Martine’s room was probably pink. Once they made up, they could have sex in Martine’s bed, just for the satisfaction.

The clock struck midnight and the crowd downstairs started cheering. Smirking, Sameen opened the last door in the hall. Her breath caught in her throat. Root and Hanna were sitting on the bed, hands clasped, in the soft glow of the bedside lamp.

Sameen watched as Hanna reached forward and gently wrapped her fingers around the lapels of Root’s leather jacket. She leaned forward to press her lips against Root’s and Sameen choked, her heart clenching painfully. Root shot to her feet, eyes wide.

“Sameen-“

Turning away as fast as she could, Sameen bumped her shoulder on the doorframe as she ran down the hallway. She dashed down the stairs, ignoring Root calling after her and hurried down the stairs as fast as she could, almost tripping over her heels. Bursting through the front door, she cursed the hot Texas air and started down the street. She need to hurt something; she’d decide what in the car.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root pushed the gas pedal down and winced as the wind whipped her dress against her legs. Her headlights barely cut through the heavy darkness of the open road. She’d already driven to the hill, but Sameen hadn’t been there. Now, she was heading to the train, hoping to find her there.

Quickly reaching up to wipe tears away, Root let out a shaky breath. She hadn’t known that Sameen was going to walk in on her and Hanna or that Hanna was going to kiss her. Two years ago, she would have been over the moon at Hanna initiating something like that, but now she was just worried she’d ruined everything with Sameen.

The past five months had been the worst of Root’s her life. She’d lost her mother and her hearing in the same ten minutes. When she’d woken up in the hospital, she’d lost Sameen as well. Root clenched her jaw as she drove off the paved road and the bumpy, gravel road jostled her Vespa.

She’d felt so angry, so betrayed, at the time that she’d yelled at Sameen. For months, she’d been yelling at Sameen and she was tired. God, Root she was exhausted and all she wanted was to curl against Sameen and not wake up until they were adults and out of this stupid town.

Her head lights splashed against Sameen’s car and she hit the brake, letting Ruthie drop to the ground. She ripped her helmet off. A gunshot rung out and the helmet slipped from her hands. The gravel crunched under Root’s boots as she took off towards their clubhouse.

Did Sameen have a gun? What was she doing? Root’s hands shook with nerves as she raced down the track towards the light spilling from the open car. She could make out Sameen’s silhouette and cried out in relief.

Rootstumbled to a halt a few feet from Sameen, panting. Sameen didn’t look at her; instead, she raised her gun and fired another shot, blasting away a can she’d set on the tracks. Root swallowed hard, her heart racing, and waited for Sameen to face her. Sameen stayed put, glaring down the sights of the gun.

“Sameen,” Root started, her whole body shaking, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know Hanna was going to kiss me. I didn’t want her to. I don’t want her to. I, um…”

Sameen shot another can and clicked her shot gun open, draping the barrel over her arm and reaching into a bag at her feet for more bullets. Root took a moment to look her over; Sameen was wearing the shirt she’d gotten her for Christmas. Root’s eyes burned from crying and she wiped her face, trying to put together an organized thought.

“I’m sorry for being an asshole the past few months,” Root started as Sameen clicked her gun shut, still ignoring her. “I was really hurt and really lost and I was just… so angry. At… At you and at my mom and at doctor who couldn’t fix my ear. I just needed time to be angry, but you were so nice to me. You were so supportive and I couldn’t hate you, even though I wanted to.”

She took a deep breath as Sameen hit another can, the shot loud in her ear. Reaching up, she rubbed her tattoo, still a little raw and rough under her fingertips.

“I don’t like Hanna,” Root sighed, rubbing her face. “Not even a little bit. That’s why it was so easy to hang out with her. She’s not…important to me anymore. I just…” she growled with frustration, taking a step forward. “There was no risk with her. She didn’t know about my mom or about you and she just wanted to do fun stuff and not talk about anything important, but I was thinking about you the whole time!

“I was thinking about how great our trip had been and how much I missed hanging out with you, but then I’d see you…” Root trailed off. Sameen lowered her gun, but didn’t turn around. “I’d see you and I’d remember that you called the police and even though I know you had to, I’m glad you did, but even though I knew that…I felt weak. I felt like I had no control, but I could control us. I could control me.”

Sameen finally turned to face her, the light from the train making the tears on her face shine. She looked small, Root thought. She looked worn out. Root’s shivering intensified and she wondered if Sameen remembered when Root came out to her. They’d stood just like this in front of Sameen’s house; Root had been shaking then, too. Sameen had hugged her, brought her inside, and they had fallen asleep tangled in each other’s arms.

Root swallowed, feeling unsteady and unsure what to say. “I went upstairs with Hanna because the party was really loud. I’m still getting used to the one ear thing and my head started to hurt. We sat on the bed in Martine’s stupidly pink room and the countdown started. Ten seconds later, she kissed me out of nowhere and you saw. I didn’t want her to be my first kiss on the year. I wanted to make up with you.”

Sameen’s hands clenched around the barrel of the gun, her knuckles white against the metal. Her face was blank, but her tears gave her away.

“I hate this,” she said softly. “I’ve never felt like this before. I hope that I never feel like this again. Do you walk around like this? Like your insides are screaming? All the time? I thought love was supposed to steady you and make you strong, but I feel so weak. I don’t want this. This isn’t my thing.”

Root’s eyes fluttered. “You love me?”

“Of course I love you!” Sameen scoffed. “I don’t make connections, Root. I don’t get attached or, or care about anything, but here I am! Crying like an idiot. God, you don’t even know, do you?” she shook her head, a ghost of a smile on her lips. “The first day of school, you walked into the locker room wearing that dumb jean jacket and I… I don’t know, but you looked at me all skinny legs and blonde hair and I didn’t know what to do.”

“What?” Root shook her head. “You liked me?”

“You crawled into my window and I let you stay,” Sameen laughed, her voice raspy. “Imagine anyone else doing that. I would have killed them. You just… kept bugging me.”

Root slowly closed the distance between them, reaching out to lay her hands on the shotgun. Sameen let her pull it away and Root dropped it onto the ground.

“I’m sorry,” Root breathed, running her thumbs across Sameen’s cheeks and wiping her tears away. “I’m sorry for hurting you, but, hey, one long nap and you’ll be back to normal. I’m the loser who feels all the time.”

Sameen laughed and bunched her hands in Root’s shirt, stepping towards her. Their bodies brushed together and Root wrapped her arms around Sameen’s shoulders. She’d missed this closeness. Two months of sleeping in tiny beds pushed against each other and then nothing until now had been terrible.

“I love you, Sameen,” Root whispered. “Always have, always will.”

Sameen sighed loudly and pressed her face into Root’s shoulder. “Will we ever go a full year without some kind of fight or drama?”

“Hmm, maybe someday.”

“I won’t hold my breath,” Sameen chuckled, pulling away.

Root grinned as Sameen took her hand and led her up the stairs into the train. They walked across the rug and sat on the bed. For a moment, they sat in silence and Root wasn’t sure what to do. Was she allowed to touch Sameen? Could she change into pajamas or would taking her clothes off be weird? A mosquito landed on her leg and she reached down to wave it away.

Sameen pulled her leg to her chest and took her shoes off, throwing them onto the rug. Root did the same. Sameen stood to undress, unbuttoning her pants and sliding them down her legs. A long scratch ran from her hip to mid-thigh and Root reached out to touch it.

Sameen’s hand wrapped around hers and pulled Root to her feet. Outside the train, the Cicadas hummed insistently. Sameen’s face was closed off, Root couldn’t tell what she has thinking, but Sameen’s strong hands turned Root around and slowly pulled the zipper on her dress down.

“Sameen?” Root asked, pulling her dress down her arms and turning back to face Sameen. “What now?”

Her dress dropped to the floor and Root couldn’t hear the noise it made, but she heard the blood rushing in her ears as Sameen pulled her close, their bare skin sticking together with sweat. Sameen’s fingers tangled in Root’s hair, yanking her face down.

Sameen’s mouth was hot and hard against Root’s and her teeth clamped around Root’s lip, making her cry out in pain. Root pulled away and dropped to the bed, scooting backwards until her shoulders hit the back wall. Sameen ripped her crop top over her head and crawled across the bed to her.

She put her legs on either side of Root’s hips and dipped her head to kiss her again. Root closed her eyes, body burning. The lace of Sameen’s bra was rough under her palms and Root sighed happily. Sameen moved her mouth to kiss Root’s jaw, lips trailing down along her neck, biting softly.

Root was panting, out of breath from their kiss and the closeness of Sameen. Her hands trailed over Sameen’s firm stomach and Sameen dropped her head onto Root’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to do anything tonight,” Sameen mumbled. “I’m tired and I’m still angry at you.”

“Ok,” Root nodded, shifting her arms to wrap around Sameen’s stomach. “We don’t have to do anything. We never have to do it again, if you want.”

Sameen pulled away frowning. “Don’t be dramatic, weirdo.”

“I’m just saying take all the time you need!”

“Whatever,” Sameen rolled her eyes. She dropped onto her side, legs tangled in Root. “Get the blankets; you’re shaking like a leaf.”

Root pulled a sheet over them, knowing her shivers weren’t from the cold. She had Sameen back, at least a little bit, and she was overwhelmed with relief.

“Come here,” Sameen demanded, scooting towards Root. “I’ll warm you up.”

“Oh, Sameen,” Root tilted her head, “You light a fire in my heart.”

“Disgusting.” Sameen mimed throwing up even as she tucked herself into Root’s arms. “So gross. Go to sleep.”

Root smiled and closed her eyes. For the first time since she’d been back in Bishop, she relaxed. She let Sameen’s breath against her collarbone lull her to sleep.

 

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Root pulled the tattoo gun away and looked down at her work. As a birthday present, she’d given Sameen a tattoo, the same mute button icon as behind her own ear except over Sameen’s heart instead. She was glad the tattoo was small; the treehouse’s wooden floors were hard on her knees.

The past couple weeks had been nice. She and Sameen were still tip-toeing around each other, but they were friends again. They were girlfriends again. Root grinned and stood up, putting the gun down on her dresser.

“Alright, it’s done,” she said.

Sameen climbed out of the small bed and crossed the treehouse to look in the mirror. Root pulled her shorts on, keeping an eye out for Sameen’s reaction. Another good thing about making up was getting to have sex again; it was lucky that only she and Sameen had keys to the treehouse.

“It looks great, Root,” Sameen said, turning back to her. “I like it.”

“Good,” Root grinned. “It’s permanent.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and walked back to the bed. “Where did you learn to do tattoos anyway?”

Root shrugged, adjusting her shirt. “I practiced on some oranges and then just did it. It’s not that hard, really.”

“It’s pretty loud, though,” Sameen said, pulling her shirt over her head.

“Well, it’s a good thing I’m deaf in that ear, huh?”

“Whoops.”

“It’s alright,” Root laughed. “We can talk about it without it being weird. I think we’re there.”

“Good,” Sameen, sighed relieved. She adjusted the waistband of her shorts and sat on the bed. “What now?”

Root sat next to her, looking her over. Sameen had trimmed her hair recently; it hung to the middle of her back, long and thick and dark. Root reached out to twist a strand.

“Can I braid your hair? Like I used to?”

“Sure.” Sameen shifted so her back was to Root. “Go for it.”

Root picked up a brush from the floor and started brushing out Sameen’s ends. Her hair was always so soft, and she smelled like sweat and fabric softener. Root rose onto her knees to see the top of Sameen’s head.

“What are going to do for Valentine’s day?” Sameen asked. “It’s our one year anniversary.”

“Is it really, though? We were broken up for like five months.” Root ran a final stroke through Sameen’s hair and dropped the brush. She started pulling strands of hair into her hands. “Does it could as one year? Or seven months?”

“I never accepted the break-up, so it’s one year.”

Root’s heart warmed and she smiled. Sameen hadn’t let Root break them up and Root would be forever grateful for that. Sameen believed in them and Root loved her for it.

“Ok, one year, then. I don’t know what we should do.”

Sameen scratched her nose. “I’d say we could go back to the symphony, but I don’t think you’d enjoy it as much.”

“Probably not,” Root agreed. “That would have been nice, though. We could have made it our thing.”

“My parents used to go to the same restaurant for their anniversary ever year,” Sameen said softly. “It was in New York; I can’t remember the name. They’d leave me with a babysitter and get all dressed up and go out to eat. Every year. Maybe we could find something like that?”

Root tied off the end of the braid and leaned forward, hugging Sameen from behind. “I’d like that. We should start when we’ve graduated, though. I don’t plan on staying in the area.”

“True.” Sameen patted Root’s arms and stood up. “Want to go on the roof and look at the stars?”

“Yes!” Root followed her up the steps to the second level and to the window. “I don’t think I’ve looked up once all winter.”

Sameen looked at her, eyes tight. “We’ll make up for it.”

She turned and climbed out the window, hoisting herself up with ease. Root swung a leg out onto a tree branch, feeling around in the dark, and carefully reached up the hold onto the roof. Sameen’s hands wrapped around her arms and helped pull her up.

“Thanks,” Root breathed as she sat down, “I haven’t been working out.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Sameen chuckled, sitting next to her. “We’ll get you back into it. You can join me and the boys.”

Root nodded and looked up at the stars, trying to find Orion. He was to the west, already starting to set for the winter. She wrapped her arms around her knees and thought about the future.

Hopefully, Mr. Ingram would let her join Science Bowl late. She was smarter than all the other kids on the team, but she’d be happy to join even as an alternate. It would be nice to get back to normal. She needed to talk to Mrs. Reese and apologize for abusing her hospitality; Mrs. Reese was always so kind to her and she’d just done whatever she wanted.

Would Mrs. Reese adopt her? Probably not. Even if she wasn’t dating Sameen, Root was 17 now. She would probably have to get emancipated unless someone in Bishop decided to adopt her, and that was doubtful.

“Hey.” Sameen’s voice pulled her back into the present. “You ok?”

Root nodded. “Yeah, just thinking.”

“No shit. I could hear your brain working from here.”

Laughing, Root punched Sameen in the arm. “You could only hear mine because yours is so quiet.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Stars are falling, beaming down. On the ground, is where I’m found. On a summer’s night, some stars may fall, but I am here to catch them all. Looking at the stars above, I can see some stars of love. Some are good. Some are kind. Some are yours. And some are mine. Oh! Stars above please shine your light so that I may find my way, tonight. Stephanie Mayle.”

Root grinned at her. “I love when you recite poetry.”

“I know,” Sameen said, smug. “That’s why I do it.”

“Hey, Sameen?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm almost done with my next chapter, so you'll get it in the next day or so!
> 
> Shaw’s Birthday  
> From Root: Tattoo and key to treehouse door  
> From Lionel: Tickets for them and john to see a wrestling match  
> From John: 4 Kodak disposable cameras (“For new memories”)  
> From Mrs. Reese: A new photo album


	40. Raincoat of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these nerds are going to be the death of me

Root wove her way down the street, the humid February air blowing her hair out of her face. She leaned to the side, steering her bike around a wet patch of road. The uneven Bishop streets were riddled with puddles after the last big rain. So far, the year had been very grey.

It had rained most days since New Year’s. Luckily, Sameen’s birthday had been clear, but it was looking like the Valentine’s Day concert might get rained out. Root sighed as she turned the corner, pushing herself onto her toes. Her backpack bounced as she hit a bump.

She and Sameen were slowly making up. They’d been back together for a month and a half, but it could be awkward at times. Root wasn’t back to normal, not really, and she knew Sameen was still a little angry at her. Root didn’t blame her; she’d been pretty awful.

Root slowed to a stop in front of Lambert’s Auto. Hopping off her bike, she sighed again. The whirring noises coming from the garage made her head hurt. Since her injury, everything was too loud and too quiet all at once. That’s one of the reasons hiding away in the clubhouse had been nice. The only noise was the occasional train and various nature sounds. She’d been able to work on her new digital display and cry about life in peace.

She was adjusting, though, and it was nice to have friends to talk to again. Root leaned her bike against the building and walked inside, the overhead bell chiming loudly. The waiting room had been redone in the last couple of months and the new white tiles were blinding in the late afternoon sun.

“Hello, Sam,” Mr. Lambert greeted from behind the front counter. “Haven’t seen you here in a while.”

“Hi, Mr. Lambert,” Root smiled, her stomach turning at the use of her birthname. “I’ve been pretty busy. Is Sameen here?”

“She is,” he nodded to the glass door leading into the garage. “You can go back, but don’t be too distracting. I need that car done today.”

Root nodded and crossed the room, heading out on the floor. She spotted Sameen’s butt from across the floor and smiled. She’d missed watching Sameen work on cars, covered in sweat and grease. Hurrying over, Root kept her eyes fixed on Sameen and slipped her bag off her shoulders.

“Hey,” she said, tossing her bag onto the work table, “how’s it going?”

Sameen pulled her head out of the engine and turned around. A large black smudge ran from her temple to her jaw. She pulled a rag from her pocket and started wiping her hands.

“It’s going,” she shrugged. “You?”

“I’m alright.” Root hopped up onto the table and took in her girlfriend. “You look good like this. Blue collar and butch.”

“’Blue collar and butch?’ Yikes,” Sameen rolled her eyes.

Root laughed, kicking her feet. She watched as Sameen slipped her arms out of her coveralls and tied the sleeves around her waist. Her white A-frame was see-through with sweat and faded black grease on her upper arms accentuated Sameen’s muscles. Root licked her lips. If she played her cards right, maybe Sameen would pick her up later.

“To what do I owe this visit?” Sameen asked, leaning back against the open car. “Or did I forget we had reading to do?”

“You did forget, but I came to talk about tonight. I think the concert is going to be rained out.”

“Oh no,” Sameen said, sarcastically, “how will we survive?”

“Right,” Root nodded with a grin, “my thoughts exactly, but what do you want to do instead?”

“Well-“

“Shaw!” Mr. Lambert yelled from the door to the waiting room. “I need that car done before you leave! Don’t just stand around yapping with your girlfriend!”

Sameen gave him the middle finger and turned back to the car.

“Grumpy asshole,” she muttered, tossing her rag onto the floor and sticking her hands back into the engine. “He was nice enough not to fire me after Halloween, but he’s still a prick.”

Root pursed her lips. John had told her about what happened, how Sameen had beaten Lambert unconscious at Martine’s house. Root had been working on her computer in the clubhouse and lost track of time. Honestly, she’d been planning to celebrate Halloween, but all the work she was doing in the train had distracted her.

She hadn’t expected Sameen to get as mad as she had. Root expected her to just shrug and move on. They’d been friends for over two years now, but Root didn’t always understand how Sameen handled emotions. Sometimes she felt nothing. Sometimes it was just a little bit. Sometimes she seemed to understand Root perfectly.

Of course, the past few months, Root had been acting strangely on purpose. How was Sameen supposed to understand her like that? Root ran her eyes over Sameen again. She tried to picture her hitting Lambert, the scrunch of her angry face, her muscles tense.

“Root?” Sameen asked, peeking over her shoulder, frowning. “You ok?”

Root flushed. “Uh. Yes. Sorry,” She shook her head. “I was thinking about your hurting Lambert. I have to admit, the thought of you punching someone, knuckles bloody, teeth bared…It’s kind of hot.”

Sameen raised an eyebrow, straightening up. “Really? You like the thought of me almost killing someone?”

“I mean…” Root shrugged, half-grinning, “how sweaty were you?”

“Oh my god, stop,” Sameen went back to working on the car. “I can’t with you. Let’s get back to tonight’s plans.”

Root sighed loudly. “Fine, but the next time you take on someone twice your size, call me.”

“If you keep taking my calls, I’ll keep calling you.”

Taking a deep breath, Root looked away. She wasn’t sure if that was meant to hurt her, but it did. Grinding her teeth, Root tried to let it go. It was an important day, their one year anniversary, and it was Valentine’s Day. She could let Sameen get in a few shots; God knows, Root deserved it.

“I was thinking we could…Oh, wait,” Root sighed. “If the concert is cancelled because of the rain, then we can’t go to the hill either.”

“We could do something indoors,” Sameen suggested, holding a car part up to her face. “Roller skating? Movie night? We could just hang out in the treehouse.”

“No,” Root scratch the tabletop with her nail. “We always do that stuff. What about something new?”

“New?” Sameen tossed the part back into the car and moved to the workstation. She dug through her toolbox, brow furrowed. “There’s that ice rink in Kingsville. We haven’t been there.”

“Oh no,” Root laughed dryly. “I am too long to ice skate.”

Sameen paused, hands buried in tools. Slowly, she turned to look at Root. “Too long? Is that a short joke?”

Root straightened her legs in front of her and wiggled her feet. “I’m a long lady, Sameen. All angles and awkward limbs. I have terrible balance.”

Sameen smirked. “So…you’re scared?”

“Not scared,” Root frowned. “Cautious. I don’t want to fall and break my butt.”

“I’ll protect you,” Sameen assured her, lifting an arm and flexing. “I can catch you.”

Staring at the dirty bicep, Root had to admit that sounded appealing. She shook her head.

“No. I’m saying no. I’ll crush you and then we’ll both break our butts.”

Leaping forward, Sameen wrapped her arms around Root’s waist and lifted her into the air. Sameen ran around the garage, Root hanging over her shoulder.

“See?” Sameen boasted, “I’ve got you!”

Root pounded her fists against Sameen’s back, laughing. “Put me down! You’re crazy!”

Sameen jogged back to her car and lowered Root’s feet to the floor. Her strong arms stayed around Root’s waist and she moved in close.

“Don’t you trust me?” Sameen asked, blinking up at Root. “I’ll never let you fall.”

Root grinned down at her, flustered. She knew her shirt was getting dirty and Sameen smelled like steel and sweat, but Root didn’t move away. Instead, she wrapped her arms around Sameen’s shoulders and lowered her head for a kiss.

Pulling away, she sighed softly. “Ok, Sameen. I’ll go ice skating with you.”

“Great!” Sameen slapped Root’s butt and slid back to the car. “Let me just finish this up and we’ll head out.”

Shaw picked up a wrench as the door to the waiting room opened again. Mr. Lambert stuck his head out.

“Shaw!”

Sameen glared up at him, holding the wrench up. “Cool your jets! I’m working!”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root slowly pulled herself along the side of the rink, eyes glued to her feet. Beside her, Sameen skated with ease, smiling as she watched Root struggle.

“You know, you could just hold onto me,” Sameen repeated for the fourth time. “I’ll help you.”

“No,” Root gasped, fingers white on the railing, “I’m fine. This is fine!”

Sameen chuckled and shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

Root sighed. She knew she was being silly, but she couldn’t help it. Sameen was much closer to the ground than she was. Sameen glided ahead of her spun around gracefully, her ponytail blowing behind her. Root rolled her eyes.

“Ok. I’ll trust you. Come here.”

She reached out with one arm, wobbling slightly. Grinning, Sameen took Root’s hand and pulled her out onto the ice. The edge was still within reach, so Root tried to relax. Even if Sameen let her fall, she could still grab onto the short wall.

“Take a deep breath, weirdo,” Sameen joked, squeezing Root’s hand. “The ice won’t attack you.”

“I know,” Root said, slowly skating along, “logically, I know that, but falling hurts!”

Sameen just rolled her eyes and tugged Root forward. They’d had dinner after Sameen got out of work and then come straight to the ice rink. It had been disappointing to find out the place closed in a couple hours, but it hadn’t started raining yet, so they could always do something else after.

Root eyed Sameen and wondered what to say. There were a lot of subjects that were hard to talk about, Root was discovering. The X-Files reminded them of the cake that had been ruined. Reading brought up Sameen’s destroying Root’s books.

“Do you have a letterman jacket?” Root asked, pushing her hair behind her ear.

“For soccer? No,” Sameen shook her head, “but I have the letters.”

Root raised her eyebrows. “They just gave you the letters and not the jacket?”

“It’s so dumb,” Sameen scoffed. “Bishop High can’t afford to buy us all jackets, so they gave us the varsity letters and told us to do it ourselves.”

“Wow. You should buy a jacket, so I can steal it.”

“What?” Sameen asked. “Why?”

Root smiled down at her. “So, I can make everyone jealous! I’m dating the star of the soccer team, I should have something to show for it!”

“You have me, the star of the soccer team, to show for it. You don’t need a jacket.”

“Oh, come on!” Root turned to her, but lost her balance. “Oh no!”

Her feet slid out from under her, but Sameen’s strong arms wrapped around her waist and kept her upright. Root’s hands flew up to grab Sameen’s shoulders. Their faces were so close their breaths mixed and Sameen ducked down to kiss Root.

Root’s eyes fluttered shut and she lost herself in the warmth of Sameen. Whatever emotional struggles they were having, she could always trust her body to want Sameen. Her fingers brushed the back of Sameen’s neck and the arms around her pulled her closer. Smiling, Root pulled away.

“Thanks,” Root breathed, heart racing. Sameen’s eyebrows raised and Root flushed. “For saving me. Not for kissing me. I mean, thanks for that, too, I guess.”

Sameen smirked, smug. “I said I would, didn’t I? I mean, save you.”

“Oh, Sameen,” Root grinned. “My hero! Next Halloween, you should be Wonder Woman!”

Sameen’s eyes tightened and she stiffened. Halloween was one of their touchy subjects. Root stood up carefully and dropped her arms. She moved to lean against the side of the rink.

“How long do you think this is going to be awkward?” Root asked, quietly. She rested her hands on the short wall, looking off into the seating area. “Are we ever going to be able to talk again?”

Sameen skated to her and hopped up to sit next to Root’s arms. Her blank expression gave nothing away as she watched the other skaters interact. After a moment, she shrugged.

“I think so. It’s just…hard to think about. I was really mad at you.”

“I know,” Root nodded, scratching the top of the wall with her fingernail. “I’m mad at myself. The whole thing with Hanna-“

“Ugh,” Sameen shook her head. “I’m declaring that topic off-limits for at least a year.”

Root looked up at her, a smile tugging at her lips. “A whole year?”

“Yes,” Sameen said, crossing her arms. Her nose scrunched up. “She’s the worst and I hate her.”

“She’s your Tomas.”

Sameen scratched her nose, looking confused. “Sure, but Hanna’s worse.”

Root scoffed and kicked the wall with her ice-skate. “Please. What happened with Tomas was way worse than what happened with Hanna.”

“No way,” Sameen protested. “I didn’t cheat on you.”

“I didn’t cheat on you either!” Root rolled her eyes. “One, we were broken up and, two, she kissed me and I pulled away. You lied to me for months for no reason and dated someone else even though you knew I liked you.”

Sameen hopped off the wall and squinted at Root. “Sure…But that’s because I was working through some stuff. You hung out with Hanna to get back at me.”

“And also because we’re friends?” Root pushed her lips together. “I’m sorry, but lying to me all summer and then dating someone I have actual reason to hate is worse than my being upset at losing my mom and then being friends with someone you hate for petty reasons.”

Sameen glared at her for a minute, obviously trying to think of a comeback. They’d never talked about Tomas after they’d made up. It had been relief to be friends again and Tomas had left them alone before graduating at the end of the year. Root had forgiven Sameen for that. She knew Sameen struggled with emotions and had needed the outlet. It was upsetting that Sameen couldn’t see Root had needed the same thing.

“Alright,” Sameen relented, “maybe Tomas was worse. Maybe.”

“Thanks?” Root laughed. “I’ll accept that.”

She took Sameen’s arm and tugged her onto the ice. Slowly, they started to skate again, Root clinging to Sameen and Sameen leading them along. This wasn’t the end of the discussion, she knew, but it was nice to know Sameen was thinking about it now.

“So,” Root started as they curved their way around the rink, “where did you learn to skate?”

Sameen’s skates pushed against the ice with a scratch. “My parents taught me. In Prague.”

The familiar image of a tiny Sameen formed in Root’s head. It was always hard to picture Sameen younger, especially now that they were almost adults. Was Sameen ever a child? Did she skate between her parents, holding their hands?

“What’s that look for?” Sameen asked, pulling Root back to the moment.

“Have I ever told you that it’s impossible to imagine you young?”

“What?” Sameen frowned at her. “I was young. I was small.”

“I’ll resist pointing out that you’re still small and instead ask what you looked like.”

“Gee, thanks,” Sameen rolled her eyes. She tugged Root around a curve before answering. “I had crazy hair. It was really curly and wild. My mom could tame it sometimes, but we usually just tied it back. I had chubby cheeks until 7th grade. I was so mad because everyone would call me cute.”

“But Sameen,” Root pouted, “you are cute!”

“Gross,” Sameen mumbled, her cheeks turning pink. “I’m tired of skating. What’s next?”

Root laughed at Sameen’s unsubtle attempt to change the subject. She’d missed her so much. She’d missed how easy it was to tease her and how happy Sameen made her.

“I know where we can go.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen stared up at the cloudy sky, the grass tickling her back. It was too cloudy to see the stars over the hill, but Root was holding her hand and that was exciting enough. She turned her head to look at Root, barely visible in the darkness. Her eyes were closed as the damp air blew across her face.

Sameen couldn’t believe they were already a month and a half into the new year. It felt like only days had passed since she and Root had made up. They were doing the things they’d always done, but it felt different now, more deliberate. She felt every choice she made mattered now.

The sound of thunder floated to them on the wind. Sameen sat up, keeping her grip on Root’s hand. She pulled her knees to her chest and looked around, squinting. Without the moon, it was too dark to see anything.

“Hey, Sameen?” Root’s voice asked from behind her. “Do you really think you’ll go to med school?”

Sameen turned around to face Root, crossing her legs in front of her. “I’m planning on it. Why?”

Root shrugged, her eyes still closed. “No reason.”

“Root,” Sameen poked Root’s side, making her giggle, “Why do you ask?”

Finally, Root opened her eyes, but didn’t look at Sameen. “I was wondering…Do you want to go to college near each other?”

Sameen lay down again, stretching out on hill, her shoulder pressed to Root’s. “Sure. Why wouldn’t we?” Her stomach tensed. “Unless you want to break up after we graduate?”

Root pulled her hand from Sameen’s and rolled onto her side, lazily laying her leg over Sameen’s. Her face was soft and Sameen couldn’t stop herself from reaching up and running a hand over her cheek. Root leaned against her, turning her face to speak into Sameen’s palm.

“I don’t ever want to break up with you again,” she mumbled, eyes on Sameen. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Sameen whispered back, her voice barely audible over a clap of thunder. “Even though you’re a mess.”

“I’m a mess?” Root asked, incredulous. “I’m a victim of circumstances. You’re the mess!”

A smile tugged at Sameen’s lips and she sat up, pushing her lips against Root’s. She kept pushing until Root’s back hit the ground and Sameen hovered above her. Root’s mouth split into a grin and Sameen pulled away.

“Ok,” Root giggled, “A mess who knows how to kiss.”

Sameen ran her hand down Root’s side and along her smooth bare legs. Root was perfect, long and pale and vibrating with energy. Sameen drank her in, trying to memorize her face. She couldn’t tell what she felt at the moment, but she knew it was something nice.

Leaning forward, she brushed her lips against Root’s, sighing into her mouth. Root’s head tilted back, her dark hair disappearing into the grass, her skin glowing in a flash of lightning. Fingers ran over Sameen’s back and Root’s nails scratched along her spine. A loud crack of thunder shook the ground and the sky opened up, drenching them both immediately.

“Sameen!” Root screamed, hurrying to her feet.

They ran down the hill as fast as they could, the wet ground making the descent dangerous. Sameen reached into her pocket and pulled out her keys. Reaching the ground, she slammed into the driver’s side door and pushed her key into the lock.

The light in the car turned on as she yanked the door open. Leaping inside, she reached across the seats to unlock Root’s door. Root jumped inside, closing her door behind her. The silence in the car was loud as the rain pounded down against the windows. Sameen ran a hand over her ponytail, water pouring onto the leather seats.

“Are there still towels in here?” Root asked, yanking her sneakers off. “We should dry your seats.”

“No,” Sameen replied, kicking her own shoes off. “I took all that stuff out. All that’s back there is Lionel’s sweaty gym bag.”

“Gross,” Root laughed, leaning her head against the window. “How’s he doing? I haven’t talked to him lately, but he looks good.”

Sameen shrugged and pulled her shirt off, tossing it into the back seat. Her damp cotton sports bra, clung to her skin.

“He’s fine. A little mad that it’s harder for him to get fit than for me and John.”

“Understandable,” Root nodded, smiling tiredly. “Not all of us can look like Greek gods.”

Sameen smirked, clenching her abs. Root’s eyes dropped to her stomach and her eyes fluttered. Carefully, Sameen climbed over the armrests, settling into Root’s lap and wrapping her arms around Root’s neck.

“You think I’m hot?” she smirked, pressing herself against Root and trapping her against the seat. Sameen tilted her head, wet hair dripping down onto Root’s thigh. “You think I look like a god?”

Root’s breath hitched and her fingers twitched against Sameen’s side. Her hands climbed higher and Sameen drew a breath as they slid under her bra. Sameen shifted, twisting her fingers into Root’s tangled hair and tugging softly.

Root’s head fell back, her mouth dropping open. Dipping down, Sameen bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, then licked the sore spot. Root’s whimper echoed through her chest and her hips jerked forward.

“You’re pretty hot, too,” Sameen whispered into Root’s mouth, leaning back when Root tried to kiss her. “I want you to touch me.”

Root pushed forward, crushing their lips together and slamming Sameen against the dashboard. Pain shot through her back and Sameen gasped. Her voice caught in her through when Root bit her neck, her hands behind Sameen’s back, supporting her.

Root pulled away and looked at Sameen, eyes dark. “Let’s go home. Do this in a bed.”

Nodding, Sameen climbed back into the driver’s seat and pushed the keys into the ignition. She stepped on the clutch, shifted into reverse, and slammed the gas. Laughing, she turned her headlights on.

“Please don’t kill us!” Root cried, fumbling as she put her seatbelt on. “There’s no sex when you’re dead.”

Sameen just rolled her eyes and buckled her own seatbelt as they raced towards home. She glanced over at Root, running her eyes over the legs propped up against the window.

“Hey, Root?”

Root’s turned her head to look at Sameen. “Yeah?”

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Happy Anniversary, Sameen.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T_T


	41. Wouldn't It Be Nice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every chapter I write reminds me how much of this story is left. What if this story gets to 200,000 words? Jesus

Root walked out of the science classroom and hiked her back on her shoulders, looking around the empty hallway. She spotted Sameen sitting on the floor near the doors texting. For a moment, Root wondered if she should be worried. It seemed like every time one of them was texting somebody else, something bad happened.

Sameen looked up and grinned at Root, shoving her phone into her pocket and climbing to her feet. Root grinned and shook her head. They were past that. They were fully committed now. She started walking down the hall, but Mr. Ingram stepped out of the classroom and called to her.

“Root!”

Root turned around. “Yeah?”

He smiled at her and held out a binder. “Don’t forget this. You’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

“Oh.” She jogged back to him and took the thick folder. “Thanks. I’ll be caught up by next week.”

“I don’t doubt it.” He winked at her and ducked back into the classroom.

Root smiled and clutched the binder to her chest. It was good to be back. The past few months felt like a million years ago; she could barely remember what had happened. Sitting in the Science Bowl meeting, looking forward to school work again, helped her feel real again.

Sameen appeared on her left and took the binder from her. As Root started down the hall, Sameen trailed along next to her, leafing through the pages.

“This doesn’t look to bad,” Sameen commented. She shut the binder and stuck it under her arm. “Are you happy to be back in Nerdland?”

Root rolled her eyes. “You’re top of the class, but I’m the nerd?”

“Being on the soccer team makes up for the intelligence,” Sameen joked. “Jock outweighs Nerd.”

“Whatever,” Root laughed. She pushed open the front door of the school and led them down the steps. “I am glad to be back, actually. Mr. Ingram said they could sit me at the end of the competition table, so there’s no one on my right.”

“That’s good.” Sameen dug in her pocket for her car keys as they crossed the parking lot. “Are you on the team, or an alternate?”

“On the team,” Root said, smug. “Mr. Ingram said he’d only let Cal on the team as a place holder until I was back.”

Sameen laughed. “That’s so mean.”

“Cal can deal with it. I think he was relieved to be demoted to alternate. He’s only on the team for college applications.”

They got to the car and Root walked around to her side. College was all anyone was talking about these days. Zoe and Joss had both gotten accepted to A&M and John would do his police academy entrance exam when they moved. Root watched Sameen push up the lock on her door through the window.

Root should just make a copy of Sameen’s key so she can unlock her own side. She opened the door and pulled her bag off her shoulders. Sitting down on the hot, pale leather, she dropped her bag at her feet and smiled at Sameen.

“Speaking of applications,” Sameen said, starting the car, “I heard back from Kindred Hospital.”

“Oh yeah?” Root asked. She buckled her seatbelt and turned to face Sameen. “And?”

Sameen shrugged and drove them out of the lot, heading home. “I got the internship.”

“What!” Root took her seatbelt off to kiss Sameen’s cheek. “That’s great! I’ll be working at NASA and you’ll be working at Kindred! This is so cool!”

“Ok, calm down,” Sameen chuckled. “Now we need to find an apartment for the summer.”

Root nodded and sat back. “NASA has some information on their site. We can see what they recommend.”

She dropped her head against her window and stared out at the passing houses. Leaving Bishop for another summer was thrilling. Root was so close to moving away and never having to come back. Of course, she probably would for holidays. Mrs. Reese would demand that Sameen came back and Sameen would definitely drag Root along.

There was the problem of her permanent address. They were going to be applying for college soon and Root wasn’t sure what she was going to put on her applications. Mrs. Reese was her guardian now, but when she turned 18, she’d be out of the system and technically homeless.

“Root?”

Root drew a breath, lifting her head. Sameen was glancing at her as she drove. Root smiled reassuringly.

“Sorry. Just thinking about the future.”

Sameen shook her head. “As per usual.”

“Hey, did you hear back from Joss and Zoe?” Root asked, changing the subject. “Are they coming over?”

“Yeah.” Sameen stopped at a light for a moment, before turning right onto their street. “They’re technically sleeping over with John, but they said they’d hang out with us for a while.”

“Good,” Root said, lifting her bag into her lap. “They’re going to be living with John soon. We’re the ones they need to spend time with.”

“Well,” Sameen smirked, “I know Lionel is going to be happy to have his own room.”

Root laughed as Sameen pulled over in front of their house. A large black sports car sat in their driveway.

Sameen whistled. “That is a nice car. I would love to get my hands inside her.”

“Gross,” Root wrinkled her nose. “That’s Harold’s car.”

“Harold?” Sameen’s eyes widened. “I feel disgusting now. I need a shower. Why is he here?”

Root shrugged as she pushed the door open and stepped into the cool, evening air. It was almost six o’clock, the sun was starting to set, and a nice breeze ruffled the trees. Sameen would call this weather ‘too damn warm,’ but Root loved it. March was the beginning of Spring, Root’s second favorite season after fall.

“Maybe it’s about my grades,” Root joked. “I did have a B in his class at one point.”

Sameen snorted and shut her door, starting for the house. “I know that’s terrible for us, but that’s just fine for almost anyone else.”

Root followed Sameen down the walkway, carrying her bag at her side. “Still, he could be worried about me.”

“Now? After you’re back to normal? Where was he in November?”

Root knew Sameen was right. She had no idea why he would be here. Was Grace here, too?

Sameen opened the front door and threw her bag on the ground, Root’s binder still in her hand. She took Root’s bag and hung it on a hook. It was Friday, the one day they didn’t do homework.

“Mom?” Sameen called into the house. “We’re home.”

After a moment, Mrs. Reese stuck her head out of the living room. “Root? Could you come here please?”

Her stomach twisting with anxiety, Root nodded. This was about her? Maybe Harold was here to say she was expelled. No, Principal McCarthy would do that. Was he here because she’d stopped texting him about birds? No, she’d sent him a picture of a Lesser Kiskadee the other day.

She glanced at Sameen, swallowing. Sameen gestured her forward and they walked into the living room. Harold and Grace were sitting in chairs facing the couch. Dropping onto the couch, Root tried to calm her nerves, reassuring herself that if it was something bad, they would have made her come straight home after school.

When Sameen tried to sit next to Root, Mrs. Reese stopped her.

“Sameen,” Mrs. Reese said, her hand on Sameen’s arm, “I think we need some privacy.”

Sameen looked surprised, but nodded. She smiled at Root, holding up the binder. “I’ll be in our room.”

Root watched her leave, her stomach clenching. Mrs. Reese crossed the room and settled into the arm chair. The last time Root had been sat down like this, it was Mrs. Reese’s sex talk. Somehow, she doubted Harold had come for round two.

“Root,” Mrs. Reese started, hands folded neatly in her lap, “we wanted to talk to you about your mother.”

Root wanted to vomit. Was her mother coming back? Was her mother dead? She felt her eyes water. This was too much.

“Oh, Honey.” Mrs. Reese leaned forward and put her hand on Root’s knee. “I’m sorry. I know this is a hard subject for you. Are you alright?”

Harold and Grace glanced at each other, looking nervous. Root swallowed hard, her hands clenched into fists in her lap.

“Is she coming back?” Root whispered, feeling small. “I don’t want to see her.”

“No,” Harold said, pushing his glasses up, “she’s not coming back. Ever. I’m afraid she’s lost full custody of you and will be serving several years in prison.”

“She still had custody?” Root asked. “I’m confused. I thought that’s why Mrs. Reese was taking care of me.”

Mrs. Reese sat back in her chair. “The court allowed you to stay with me during your mother’s trial, because I was proven to be a competent caregiver and because you wouldn’t have to change schools. Now, your mother’s been found guilty of child neglect and abuse and she’s fully lost custody.”

Root dropped back onto the couch, overwhelmed. She pressed her hands to her eyes, trying to organize her thoughts. Apparently, her mother had still been in her life. What would have happened if her mother had been found not guilty? Would Root have had to live with her? Root knew her father had given up custody years ago. She was officially an orphan now.

“Root?” Grace asked softly. “I’m sure you’re feeling a lot right now, but we have some good news for you.”

Root laughed dryly and dropped her hands. “Unless you’re adopting me, I don’t think anything can cheer me up right now.”

Grace glanced at Harold. “Well,” she said, “that’s why we’re here.”

“What?” Root sat forward, heart racing. “Are you adopting me?”

“Now,” Harold clasped his hands, “you can say no. I’d like to say, before you decide, that we wouldn’t try to parent you. We know you’re almost an adult, but you’ll need an address for your applications and we could finance your college education. We’d give you your own room in our house, so you have your own space.”

“Don’t think we’d let you slack on home work,” Grace joked. “We’re still teachers!”

Root stared at them, mouth open. Harold and Grace wanted to adopt her. She was going to have a room at their house and they offered to pay for her college. They had more than enough money to pay for four years at MIT, where Root was definitely going.

She thought back over the past couple years. Harold had been awkward at first, always trying to lead BACKS meetings and forcing her to look at birds. He’d grown on her though. Once they got passed the weird age difference, Harold had respected her and encouraged her interest. He even let her into the school after hours to use the science labs.

Grace was kind to her. She always let Root talk in class, just babble on until she made a point. Grace was an amazing cook. Whenever they had BACKS meetings at their house, Grace made them snacks. Sameen had slowly come around to hanging out with Harold and Root was sure 90% of that was because of Grace.

“Root?” Mrs. Reese prodded. “Any thoughts?”

Root wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’d love it if you adopted me. I…It would be an honor.”

Grace sighed with relief and moved across the room to sit next to Root. They hugged and Root let herself relax into Grace’s arms. She knew it would be weird at first, but it could be great. Grace and Sameen could cook. Root and Harold could talk about computers. Even if it ended up being awful, Root would go to college in a year and a half.

“Um,” Harold coughed, “We have a gift for you.”

Root pulled away from Grace. When she saw Grace was crying too, she laughed and wiped her face. Sameen was probably dying upstairs, trying to guess what was happening. Harold reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box.

“Harold,” Root laughed, “Are you proposing? We should actually live together first.”

The adults chuckled and some of the tension left the room.

“No,” Harold said, handing the box to her, “It’s just a gift, I’m afraid.”

Root pulled the lid off the box. Inside was a small key with her name engraved on it. It was the key to their house. She held the key in her hand. It wasn’t just a gift; they’d really been thinking about this. Having parents who wanted her made her heart clench.

“I hope you don’t think it too forward,” Harold sighed. “We don’t want to seem desperate.”

“No,” Root grinned at him, “Thank you.”

She jumped off the couch and ran to Harold, throwing her arms around him. The rough wool of his jacket was scratchy against her arms, but she didn’t mind. Harold had been a mentor for her and now he was her new father.

Root felt tears run down her cheeks and sighed. She’d cried so much in the past few months, she was surprised she wasn’t dehydrated. At least they were tears of joy this time.

“I have to say,” Mrs. Reese joked, “I was worried I’d have to adopt you. I don’t think you and Sameen would want to be sisters.”

Root pulled away from Harold, scrunching her nose. “Ew, that's weird.”

“Speaking of Miss Shaw,” Harold said, “I’m sure she’s waiting impatiently for you upstairs.”

“Is it ok if I go tell her what happened?” Root asked, looking around.

Grace smiled at her and waved her hand. “Go on. We’ve still got things to discuss.”

“Thanks!”

Root turned on her heel and raced out of the room. Pounding up the stairs, she kept the key clutching in her hand. The key to her home. She opened the door to Sameen’s room and laughed.

Sameen was lying in bed in her pajamas, staring at the ceiling. Bear was asleep in her legs, his tail thumping softly against the footboard. He noticed Root and his tail started waving faster.

“Oh, thank god,” Sameen sighed, “get him off me. I’m trapped.”

Root closed the door and moved into the room. “Just push him away.”

“I can’t,” she rolled her eyes, “he’ll hate me.”

“So, you want him to hate me?” Root put her key on the desk and started pulling her sneakers off. “You just want to be his favorite mom.”

“I am his favorite mom!” Sameen scoffed. “I saved him, you know.”

“That was years ago. He’s probably forgotten all about it.”

Sameen sat up and stared down at Bear. His tongue hung from his mouth as he looked up at her. Dropping into the desk chair, Root watched them stare at each other and shook her head. Whatever apartment they got for the summer had to accept dogs. Sameen had really missed Bear on their trip. Besides, Root would feel better if Sameen had a jogging companion in a big city.

“You win,” Sameen sighed. She glared at Root like it was her fault. “Bear has an attitude. I can only guess who he got it from.”

“Right, because I’m the rude one.”

Root moved to the closet and started undressing. She felt Sameen’s eyes on her as she pushed her jeans down.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sameen asked carefully. “What did they want?”

Root pulled her shirt over her head. “Grace and Harold are going to adopt me.”

“What?” Sameen’s eyes widened. “That’s great! Right? Are we happy about this?”

“Yeah,” she replied, crawling onto the bed and pushing Bear to the side, “we’re happy about it.”

Sameen wrapped her arms around Root’s waist and pulled her into her lap. “When do you move in?”

“I don’t know yet,” Root said, settling onto Sameen’s legs. “They had more to talk about, so I came up to tell you.”

“Well,” Sameen smirked, “we’ll have to christen your new room.”

Root winced. “Sex at Harold’s house?”

“Oh,” Sameen frowned, dropping back onto the pillows. “That’s weird. Maybe we should stick to having sex here.”

“Good plan.”

Root leaned down, pressing her stomach against Sameen’s, pushing her shirt up so their skin touched. She sighed into Sameen’s mouth and pressed their lips together. Tightening her hands around Sameen’s waist, she felt Sameen’s hands slide down her back.

The door to the room opened and Root jumped to the side, trying to cover herself.

“So you do have sex!” Zoe laughed. “We were wondering!”

Root rolled her eyes and climbed out of bed to put on her pajamas. Joss smacked her butt as she passed, making her jump.

“I’m not surprised,” Joss said, dumping their duffel bag on the ground. “I could tell. They have that glow.”

“You could tell?” Zoe scoffed and collapsed into the desk chair. She spun herself around. “Please. Just the other day, you asked John if he’d seen them kissing.”

“Ok,” Sameen held her hand up, “No more. No more girly gossip.”

Root pulled her dog shirt over her head and smirked at Zoe and Joss. “There’s a lot of kissing and a lot of sex. You can tell John that if he ever hears music playing, it’s because we’re having sex. It’s not like I listen to music anymore.”

Joss’ mouth dropped open. “Can we tell him that? He’ll flip out!”

“He’s already paranoid he’s going to see something inappropriate.” Zoe clapped her hands. “Please let us tell him that!”

Root knelt on the bed, pouting at Sameen. Sameen was incredibly susceptible to Root’s big, brown eyes. After a second, Sameen crossed her arms and looked away.

“Tell him.”

The girls cheered and Root hugged Sameen. Joss settled onto the floor and pulled the Monopoly box from under the bed. She was a Monopoly beast; she’d only lost once before to Zoe. Normally, Sameen lost patience and tossed the board away before the game was over.

Zoe dropped to her knees on the carpet next to Joss and got into place. She glanced up at Root and Sameen.

“You guys going to play? Or make-out all night?”

Sameen pushed Root away and stepped off the bed. Root watched her walk away for a moment before moving down to the floor. As much as she did want to make out with Sameen all night, their time with Zoe and Joss was running out.

Besides, they could always have sex later. She’d let Sameen choose the music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh, Loving parents for Root! T_T


	42. To Build A Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, we're officially at a chapter a week. Maybe a week and a half. I am...busy. So busy.

Root kicked her feet idly, the cold pool water nice on her warm skin. She’d hopped out of the pool so Sameen could do laps. Now, she was sitting on the edge, the hot sun beating down on her. Water splashed into her lap as Sameen swam passed. She’d been doing laps for over half-an-hour and wasn’t showing signs of stopping. Root didn’t mind, though. Sameen’s bathing suit showed off her muscles as she pushed through the water. She watched Sameen tap the wall, flip under the water and start back the other way.

Sighing contently, Root dropped her head back, warming her face. The concrete tiles were warm under her butt. It was only April, but it was shaping up to be a hot summer. They’d already bought several fans to bring to Houston. Harold had found them an apartment with AC, but Sameen was sweaty, and Root knew she’d appreciate the extra cooling.

Bear’s paws clicked against the tiles as he trotted along the side of the pool, following Sameen’s laps. Root smiled. Recently, Root had been feeling better. She wasn’t getting angry like she used to, and Sameen had calmed down a bit, too. Root was looking forward to the summer and even to their Senior Year. College was just around the corner, as hard as that was to believe.

While Sameen was a big part of Root’s happiness, Harold and Grace were helping, too. Root hadn’t moved in with them yet, but they’d been having dinner together most nights. Harold had taken her to buy a bird the other day and she’d chosen a cockatoo, which she named Queequeg after Scully’s dog. Last night, she’d helped Grace make dinner. Well, helped is putting it generously. She’d peeled potatoes until she cut herself. After that, she’d just kept Grace company.

Sameen tapped the wall and started towards Root, finished with her work out. Bear dropped to the ground next to Root and she put her hand on his head, hot from the sun. Resting her arms on the edge of the pool, Sameen squinted up at Root.

“How’s it going? Sameen asked, slightly out of breath. “Did I take too long?”

“You’re fine.” Root smiled down at her. “You can keep going. I’m enjoying the view.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Loser. I’m done.”

Root scratched Bear’s head. “When do you think I’ll move in with Grace and Harold?”

“Soon,” Sameen looked away, scratching her nose. “I mean, probably. All the paperwork was finalized last week, right?”

“Yeah. I’m officially a Finch.”

Sameen mimed gigging. “Gross. I’m definitely not taking your last name now.”

Root’s heart clenched. Taking Root’s last name? Was Sameen talking about marriage? Did she think about marrying Root?

Sameen’s face turned red when she realized what she said. “I mean, um-“

“You want to marry me!” Root screamed. “You’ve thought about it! Were you going to take my name before? When were you going to propose? Soon or in a few years?” Root gasped. “Mrs. and Mrs. Sameen Shaw. Mrs. and Mrs. Root Finch. Yeah, ok, that’s bad. Will you wear a suit? Will I? Neither of us? Both of us? How about - ah!”

Sameen yanked her into the pool with a loud splash. Root sank to the bottom, her back scrapping against the rough tiles on the floor. Twisting around, she opened her eyes and grabbed onto Sameen, using her to climb back to the surface. Bursting into the air, Root gasped for breath, Sameen’s laughter loud in her ear.

“Sameen!” Root chuckled, shoving her away. “Don’t think that distracted me! I’m not going to forget.”

Sameen grinned wolfishly and swam forward. Root jumped backwards, away from Sameen and into the corner of the pool. Root laughed as Sameen’s body pressed against her, instantly warming her.

“What?” Sameen asked, brushing her lips against Root’s. “What so funny?”

“The first time we were in this corner, we were skinny-dipping,” Root replied, arms around Sameen’s waist, pulling her even closer.

Sameen hummed into Root’s mouth and threaded her fingers into Root’s hair. “I remember. You threw up on me.”

“Yup,” Root replied, popping the p. “If I hadn’t, we might have been dating almost two years earlier.”

Sameen finally kissed Root, her mouth hot. Root’s eyes drifted shut as her body responded. It was almost miraculous, the way her body craved Sameen. When she was close, every part of Root tingled. She traced her fingers up Sameen’s back, sucking in breath when Sameen bit her lip.

“No,” Sameen sighed, pulling away. “You should get that.”

Root frowned. “Get what?”

“Your phone is ringing.”

Turning her head, Root could hear the quiet buzzing of her phone on the table. Even with her good ear, her phone was fairly quiet.

“Wow,” Root said, impressed. “Good ear.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and untangled herself, swimming back into the pool. “Very funny.”

Root laughed, turning around. She pulled herself out of the pool and hurried across the patio, shivering despite the warm air. Taking her towel off the table, she wrapped herself and answered her phone.

“Hey, Grace.”

“Hello!” Grace’s cheerful voice responded. “How are you?”

“Good. Sameen and I are swimming.” Root sat on a pool chair, phone pressed to her ear. She watched Sameen try and talk Bear into jumping into the pool. “What’s up?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Grace said, apologetically. “Harold and I were wondering if you could come over. We have something for you.”

“Oh,” Root checked the time on her phone. “Sure. I can stop by. Sameen and I were going to do homework later.”

“Well, come over and we’ll make plans for this evening. Is that alright?”

Root smiled as Bear ran over to her. “That’s fine. I’ll be there soon.”

“Great! Bye.”

“Bye.” Root ended the call and stood up. “Grace wants me to come over.”

Sameen climbed out of the pool and squeezed her hair. Root was always surprised by how much water Sameen’s hair could hold. A small waterfall splashed against the patio tiles and Root grinned. It might take them a little while to get to Grace’s house.

“Go without me,” Sameen said. “I’m going to shower and get ready for homework.”

Root frowned, her eyebrows drawing down. “’Get ready for homework’? What does that mean?”

Sameen rolled her eyes as she started for the table. “Whatever. Just go by yourself.”

“Do you know something I don’t?” Root asked. “What is it?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Sameen shrugged, picking up her towel, “just go.”

“Sameen…” Root glared at her. “I’m not opposed to tickling the answer out of you.”

Sameen grabbed her phone and headed for the house. “You aren’t getting a word.”

“Sameen!”

“No!” she yanked the door open and led them into the house. “Nothing!”

Root watched Sameen hurry away and start up the stairs before running after her. She was going to get information, no matter what tricks she had to use.

“Sameen!”

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Twenty minutes later, Root walked out of the house and hopped on her bike. Sameen hadn’t given her any clue what Grace was going to give her, but Root had left her alone in the shower as punishment. Of course, promising to make it up to her probably undermined the threat.

Root started towards Harold’s house, rolling down the driveway and into the street. Harold’s house was only a few houses over and across the street. It looked too big for the neighborhood, though. It had three floors and a basement, Root knew, even though all the other houses were only two floors.

She felt weird living in such a fancy house. It almost seemed like she was lying about her past. Her old house sat empty, technically Root’s now because she’d finished paying it off her freshman year. When she turned 18, she’d have to decide what to do with it. Moving into Harold’s felt like pretending none of that was real.

Slowing to a stop in front the house, Root sighed. She knew that wasn’t true. Like Mrs. Reese’s therapist had been telling her, she was allowed to move forward. She rolled her eyes as she climbed off the bike and walked it to the front door. It was so weird to be seeing a therapist, but she had to admit it was helping a bit.

Root leaned her bike against the outside of the house and reached into her pocket, pulling out her keys. She opened the door and stepped into the house. Slipping out of her shoes, Root called into the house.

“Hello! I’m here!”

Grace hurried out of the dining room, smiling. “Root! Hello! Sorry for dragging you over here.”

“It’s alright.” Root shrugged. “We were just hanging out. Besides, you guys are allowed to tell me what to do, right?”

“Well,” Grace smoothed the front of her skirt, “I suppose so. We did promise you’d have freedom.”

Harold appeared behind her. “As long as you do your homework.”

“Harold,” Root rolled her eyes, “are you really worried about that?”

“No, I suppose not.” He smiled, adjusting his glasses. “Do you want to see the surprise?”

“Sure!”

Grace smiled at Harold and headed upstairs. Root followed apprehensively. Even though they’d had BACKS meetings here, she’d never been upstairs. It always seemed off-limits, like a secret hideaway or something.

Harold and Grace stopped in front of a door with a poster stuck to the front. She stepped forward, squinting at it. It was her ‘I Want to Believe’ poster. Root knew it was hers because it had the tiny red heart Sameen had drawn in the corner. How did they get her stuff?

She turned to Harold. “I’m confused. Are you showing me my poster?”

“No,” Harold chuckled, “the poster isn’t the surprise. The room is.”

He pushed the door open, revealing a bedroom that looked like an upgraded version of Root’s. She walked inside, mouth open, taking in the room. A large bed sat in the far corner, dark purple sheets still creased from the packaging. Across the room was a desk; it took up most of the wall. Root’s current project was neatly set up and Sameen’s snowglobe had its own little cubby in the corner.

She ran her hand across the dark oak dressers. They were nicer than anything she’d ever owned. Pulling open a drawer, she saw her clothes, all folded nicely. When had these been moved? She’d just gotten dressed back at Sameen’s. Root realized she’d put her clothes from the morning back on; she hadn’t actually opened anything. Sameen had just handed her her shirt.

Root smiled. Sameen must have helped them move everything when Root was busy with Science Bowl. The posters she’d hung in the train had been hung on the walls. Above the bed, someone, probably Sameen, had painted a mural of space, Orion large in the center. Her eyes fluttered, and she wiped tears away.

This was her room. Sameen and Grace and Harold had given her a place, a real place, of her own. She turned to look at Grace and Harold, crying. Grace grinned at her, her own eyes watering.

“Do you like it?” Grace asked, nervously wringing her hands. “We didn’t really know what you’d liked, so we asked Sameen to help. I hope that’s ok.”

“It’s perfect.” Root wiped her face again. “I love it so much.”

Harold stepped into the room, gesturing for Grace to come in, too. “There’s one more thing.”

Root watched as he closed the door. On the inside was a chain, like the one Root had installed at her old house. Their last gift to her was privacy, and safety. Root moved to Grace and threw her arms around her neck.

“Thank you both so much,” Root cried. “It means so much.”

“We want to support you,” Grace said into her shoulders, voice thick. “I know it seems like we’re giving you a lot, but you’re giving us something, too.”

Root pulled away, unsure what she meant. “What am I giving you?”

“You may have noticed that we don’t have children,” Harold answered. “We tried, but it never happened. Then, we tried adopting, but it never happened. You’re giving us the chance to be parents.”

“You’re almost 18, we know, but…” Grace smiled at Root. “Maybe eventually you’ll come to think of us as family.”

Root’s heart clenched. They weren’t just adopting her out of pity. Harold and Grace wanted to be a family. They wanted Root in their lives. She swallowed hard. She had somewhere to live that wouldn’t rot out from under her. They wanted to pay for college, make her feel loved, be her parents. They even knew how important Sameen was to her.

“I already do,” Root rasped. “You’re the best family I’ve ever had.”

Harold wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. He smelled like ink and wool. Grace’s arms wrapped around them both and Root laughed. If Sameen could see this, she’d never let Root live it down, but Root wasn’t embarrassed. She was safe.

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“Ugh,” Sameen groaned, throwing herself back onto the bed. “Why did we ask Harold to put us in AP Calc a year early?”

“I want to take Physics next year,” Root answered, her mouth full of pretzels. “You didn’t have to take it.”

Root swung around in her desk chair to face Sameen. They were at Root’s house finally getting homework done. Their grades weren’t suffering, but all the making out was cutting into their homework time. Root laughed to herself. It was worth it.

“Listen,” Sameen sighed, sitting back up, “if I’d known I’d end up doing the work alone for half the school year, I wouldn’t have. I thought you’d be helping me.”

“Whoops.” Root shrugged. “We could always ask Harold for help.”

“I’d rather be shot,” Sameen scoffed. “I know you guys are buddy-buddy now, but he’s still too weird for me.”

Root just laughed and turned back to her desk. “You know, if you’re going to marry me, you’ll have to ask his permission eventually.”

There was a moment of silence and then a pencil flew passed Root’s head, smacking the wall in front of her. She spun around, eyes wide.

“Did you throw a sharp pencil at me?”

“No,” Sameen crossed her arms, “I threw it passed you. If I wanted to hit you, I would have.”

Root stood up, stretching her arms over her head. “Ok, let’s take a break. All this math is making you mean.”

“Ooh,” Sameen crooned, pushing her books aside and crawling to the edge of the bed, “time for anatomy homework?”

“No…” Root chuckled. “I was thinking we could eat some ice cream.”

Sameen scowled, but scooted off the bed. “Fine. Do they even have ice cream? Harold probably eats something dumb like Butter Pecan or Pralines and Cream.”

“Hey!” Root pouted. “I like Pralines and Cream.”

“I know,” Sameen sighed. “I love you anyway.”

“Whatever, Triple Chocolate,” Root said, rolling her eyes and started for the door.

Sticking her head out, she listened for a moment. The hallway was dark, but that didn’t mean Harold and Grace were asleep. Their room was further down the hall, but Root didn’t know their patterns yet and she didn’t want to risk getting caught and yelled at for eating sweets so late at night.

“Is the coast clear?” Sameen whispered from behind her. “Are they awake?”

“I don’t think so,” Root whispered back. “Come on.”

She tip-toed into the hallway, stepping carefully. The rugs on the floor seemed to muffle the sound of their feet, but Root wasn’t sure if any of the floorboards creaked. Sameen pushed passed her hurrying down the halls. Her socked feet were quiet on the stairs, so Root rushed after her, a little more at ease.

Sameen walked through the living room to the kitchen and flicked on the light. Root’s eyes squinted at the brightness. She watched as Sameen pulled open the freezer, ruffling through. Finding nothing, she slammed it shut.

“I told you. Harold is an old man.”

Root laughed and leaned against the door frame. “Damn, I really wanted ice cream.”

“We could go to Dairy Queen,” Sameen suggested. She looked at the time on the stove. “It’s 9:15. If we leave now, we can get there before they close.”

“Sure!” Root remembered that they weren’t at Sameen’s house. “Do you think they’ll get mad?”

“They can’t get mad if they don’t find out.”

Rolling her eyes, Root flipped the lights out and walked back into the living room. Sneaking out on her first night at her new house wasn’t on her list of planned activities, but Harold and Grace had promised her freedom. She stepped into the entranceway and sat on the floor to slip her shoes on. Beside her, Sameen stepped into her own shoes and stood to grab their wallets.

The hallway light turned on and Root froze.

“Girls?” Grace asked from behind them. “Are you leaving?”

Root’s heart raced and she couldn’t bring herself to turn around. Sameen just smiled at Grace, not worried.

“Yeah, we were going to get ice cream.”

“Oh,” Grace didn’t sound upset. “Alright. We should put a little notepad here, so you guys can let us know when you’re out. Do you girls need money?”

Root sucked in air, trying to calm down. They weren’t in trouble. Grace was fine with them leaving. She saw Sameen look down at her and tried to smile.

“We have money,” Sameen answered Grace. “Thanks anyway.”

Root finally turned around to look over her shoulder at Grace. Grace was wearing a fuzzy bathrobe, her red hair tied up in a messy bun. She didn’t look upset at all.

“Ok,” Grace nodded, turning around. “Don’t stay out too late.”

Root climbed to her feet, watching her walk away. When she started up the stairs, Root sighed, relieved.

“You ok?” Sameen asked, laying her had on Root’s arm. “You didn’t say anything.”

“Yeah,” Root replied. “I’m fine. I was just worried she’d be upset.”

Sameen watched her, face neutral. This was a moment where Sameen couldn’t relate. Root just shook her head.

“It’s fine. Come on, I want ice cream.”

“Ok,” Sameen said carefully. “I’m buying.”

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Sameen licked her chocolate ice cream quickly, trying to eat it before it melted. She shifted her legs, adjusting herself, and glanced at Root. They were in the Dairy Queen parking lot, sitting on RBG’s roof. The DQ had been closing when they got there, and Sameen left a big tip as an apology.

Root hadn’t said much since they’d left her house. Sameen wasn’t sure what she was feeling, but knew it probably had something to do with sneaking out. Maybe Root thought she had to be perfect to stay with Harold and Grace? Maybe she was afraid it was still temporary?

Sameen took another lick of her ice cream. Root glanced at her and flushed.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Root wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

“No,” Sameen said softly. “You’re perfect.”

Root rolled her eyes. “Now I know something’s wrong.”

“I can’t just tell my girlfriend she’s perfect?” Sameen scowled. She was going to try to talk to Root, but if Root was going to have attitude, then whatever. “Nevermind. I take it back.”

“Oh my god,” Root laughed. “You’re so dumb. Just tell me what’s up.”

Ice cream dripped onto Sameen’s hand, cold in the hot, night air. She licked it off, thinking about how to approach the subject.

“I noticed how…tense…you were at the house,” Sameen tried. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Root frowned and bit into her ice cream. Sameen winced. Root was the only person she knew who bit her ice cream instead of licking it or using a spoon. Maybe Root’s cold body desensitized her teeth. Sameen made a note to look it up later.

“I don’t want to abuse their hospitality,” Root answered. “We had a good moment earlier and I don’t want them to be upset with me. At least, not right away.”

Sameen nodded. “That makes sense. Ok, as long as it isn’t anything big.”

“It’s not,” Root shrugged. “Just me overthinking, I guess.”

“Do you like your room?” Sameen asked, scooting closer to Root. “I took some stuff from the train, sorry.”

Root grinned at her and leaned down, resting her head on Sameen’s shoulder. “I love it. I haven’t thanked you for it yet.”

“No, you haven’t.”

“Thanks.”

Sameen licked her ice cream again. “No problem, babe.”

“So…” Root tapped her feet together. “Does our no sex rule at Harold’s house still stand? I want to show you just how much I like it.”

Groaning, Sameen wrapped her arm around Root’s shoulders. “I couldn’t convince you to do it in the car, could I?”

“Without blankets or pillows? Would we do it in the Dairy Queen parking lot? Or in front of Harold’s house? Lionel is in your room tonight, are you going to kick him out?”

“Ok, ok,” Sameen stopped her. “Harold’s house it is.”

Root snuggled against her side. “Let’s finish our ice cream first. The stars are beautiful tonight.”

Sameen sighed. The stars weren’t the only thing that was beautiful tonight.


	43. Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, here's the deal: I have two 20-page research papers due at the end of this month, so I can't make any promises on how often I'll be updating in the next couple of weeks. I'm doing my best and this chapter is pretty long, but you guys gotta be patient with me. I'm obsessed with this story, I'm not abandoning it, but I'm so busy, I can't guarantee anything in the next few weeks.

“Ok, How’s this?” Zoe began to sign clumsily. “John is bad at giving…um, what’s the sign for directions?”

Root held her hands out to demonstrate. “Like this. Thumb and pointer finger together and back and forth in front of you. Directions.”

“Okay,” Zoe said, repeating the sign. She started again. “John is bad at giving directions.”

Sameen laughed from the front seat. “I’m sure he is.”

“The worst,” Joss agreed affectionately. “You can’t take him anywhere.”

Root grinned at her from the backseat. The whole group was heading north to go camping for spring break; it had been Joss’ idea to try and cram as much bonding time in as possible before the end of the school year. They’d brought s’mores, apples to roast, and several battery-operated fans.

As much as she was looking forward to the actual camping, the five-hour drive there was proving to be just as fun. The past couple weeks, Root and Sameen had been taking sign language classes in Kingsville and now they were trying to teach their friends. Zoe and Joss were picking it up a lot faster than Root had expected.

Root looked out the window at the passing countryside. Dirt stretched out endlessly in every direction. She rolled the window down and stuck her head out, glancing at the road behind them, her hair blowing wildly in the wind. They couldn’t all fit in RBG, and the boys were following in John’s car.

Lionel spotted her and rolled down his own window, sticking his head out, too. Root waved to him and laughed as he waved back. Lionel signed to her.

‘How is the girls’ car?’

‘Better than yours!’

Lionel gave her the middle finger and she grinned at John in the driver’s seat. Lionel could enjoy himself for now; Root had a plan for later. John gave her a thumbs-up and she slid back into the car. The other girls’ conversation washed over her, but she couldn’t follow. Instead she pulled her phone out and sent Sameen a dirty text for later.

“So,” Root started, dropping her phone onto RBG’s tan seats and turning to Zoe, “what’s the weird direction thing John does?”

Zoe rolled her eyes. “He’s so weird. Everything is ‘North. Turn west. Three kilometers to go.’ He can’t just say ‘turn left’ like a normal person. Hey, how do you sign left and right?’

“Oh, here.” Root held up her hands. “The letter ‘L’ to your left is left and then an ‘R’ to the right is right. Easy Peasy.”

“It’s nice of Mr. Finch to give you money for classes,” Joss said. “Did he just give it to you, or is he making you do chores?”

“He just gave it to me.” Root shrugged. “I quit my job at Greer’s. I already have a lot saved up and Harold keeps giving me money.”

Sameen glanced over her shoulder at Root. “I still think he’s trying to buy you off.”

“Buy you off?” Zoe asked. “What do you mean?”

“Well…” Root pulled her feet up. “He and Grace talk a lot about caring for me and being a family, but they weren’t really helping when I was super depressed, you know? Sameen thinks they’re throwing money at me to make up for it.”

“Wow.” Joss laughed. “It took 17 years for my parents to start doing that. You’re just getting the guilt money from the get go.”

“The best part,” Sameen said, adjusting her mirror, “ “is that now we have twice as much date money. Every time we go out my mom gives us money and Harold gives us money.”

“He gave me 50 bucks to go to Dairy Queen,” Root scoffed. “I’m just saving all the extra. I mean, I know he’s crazy rich, but does he not know how much ice cream costs?”

The warm, April wind blew around the car, whipping through their hair and making it hard to hear. Root checked the time on her phone.

“Where are we?” she asked.

Joss checked the directions in the front seat. “We’re less than two hours away. I’m getting hungry, though. Anyone else?”

“Yes,” Sameen immediately replied. “I’m starving.”

“You don’t count,” Root laughed. “You’re always starving.”

Sameen glared at her through the rearview mirror and Root winked at her, her face scrunching to the side. Almost all their dates revolved around food; Root hardly ate anything, but Sameen still magically packed it away. All her exercising allowed her to eat as much as she wanted, but Root was waiting for the day when Sameen’s metabolism slowed down and she had to start eating better.

They passed a highway sign and Sameen gasped.

“Waffle House!” She hit her turn signal and changed lanes. “I need ten pancakes immediately.”

“Do you mean waffles?” Zoe chuckled as they took the exit. “It’s Waffle House, not pancake house.”

“It’s not me you want to criticize,” Sameen said, slowing down at a red light. “We went to a bunch of Waffle Houses on our trip last summer and Root didn’t eat a single waffle.”

“I prefer savory things,” Root countered defensively. “I tried everything else! Their Philly cheesesteak hash browns are really good.”

The light turned green and Sameen started down the empty street, John’s car following behind. The Waffle House appeared around a corner and they pulled into the parking lot, circling for a minute before finding a space.

“Wow,” Joss said, looking out the window, “it’s pretty busy for Monday afternoon.”

Sameen pulled into the parking space and parked the car. Root opened her door, squinting as she stepped out into the sun. She remembered the Waffle House they stopped at in Arizona. It had been empty and quiet. They’d sat in a booth in the back, holding hands. Sameen had eaten almost ten pancakes, and her kisses had tasted sweet for days.

“Hey,” Sameen said, appearing on her left, “Ready?”

Root took her hand, threading their fingers together. “I love you.”

“Ok? Weirdo.” Sameen rolled her eyes and led them towards the Waffle House. “Come on.”

“Let’s move, people,” Lionel said, running ahead of the group to open the door. “Those waffles aren’t going to eat themselves.”

“See?” Sameen snorted. “This is why you don’t have a six-pack.”

“You eat more than I do,” Lionel retorted. “I’m blaming my genetics and not my diet.”

Root laughed at them and walked inside. An older woman smiled at them as they entered.

“Hello, Dears,” the woman greeted, pulling out menus. “Six?”

“Yes.” John nodded. “Six. Is it possible to sit in the north corner? The sun is blinding.”

Root met Zoe’s eyes, giggling. Zoe just shook her head and followed the hostess. Looking around as they were led to their table, Root sighed. She had so many friends now. It was really nice, even if she still had to remind herself she wasn’t alone sometimes.

Sameen slid into the booth and Root started to follow her, but Joss grabbed her arm and dragged her away.

“What-“

“Reeses on that side,” Joss said, pushing Root into the other side of the booth, “girlfriends on this side.”

Root laughed and scooted into the corner. When she was settled, she looked across the booth at Sameen. Their legs tangled together under the table and Sameen crossed her eyes, making Root laugh again.

“Don’t be dumb,” Root said, kicking Sameen’s ankle. “We’re in public.”

Joss leaned forward across Zoe, smirking. “It’s no use. The Reeses are just dumb in general.”

“Whoa,” John held up his hands, “that’s unnecessary. You know there may come a day when you three are Reeses, too.”

Zoe froze next to Root, her face stilling. “Can we not?”

“Trouble in paradise?” Lionel joked.

Sameen slapped the back of his head, frowning. “Don’t.”

Root glanced between Zoe and John, trying to understand. Sameen had talked about marriage, why couldn’t… Oh. Root realized the problem. There were three of them; if any of them wanted to get married, they’d have to make a choice. If they had kids…

“You know,” Root threw out, trying to alleviate the tension, “Sameen and I are going to get married.”

John raised his eyebrows. “Really? Did she propose?”

“No!” Sameen growled and crossed her arms. “We’re not talking about this.”

Joss leaned forward again, laughing. “I don’t know how you did it, Root. You won her over.”

“Root won her over the day they met,” Zoe added, relaxing a little bit. “Remember Dairy Queen our first year? Root smiled at Shaw and Shaw almost choked.”

“Ok,” Sameen held her hands up, “unnecessary.”

Root laughed loudly, Zoe and Joss joining in. Sameen had looked so much like John just then.

“Her face!” Zoe choked out. “It was the same!”

“Oh, no,” Joss laughed, “I can’t un-see it.”

Root elbowed Zoe in the side. “Make sure our tents are far apart. We might get confused!”

Zoe snorted unattractively,and clamped her hands over her mouth.

“I would defend us,” John said slowly, “but I don’t know what we did.”

“You losers are the same.” Lionel shrugged. “That’s what happened.”

“We’re not the same,” Sameen defended. “I don’t do the stupid direction thing he does.”

Lionel rolled his eyes. “You definitely do, though.”

“Dixie Chicks,” John said, glaring at Lionel. “The Dixie Chicks.”

“They’re a great band!” Lionel shouted, drawing the attention of the other diners. “Classic!”

Root wiped her eyes, still laughing. John and Sameen were so alike and Root wondered how much of that was because they’d grown so close and how much was just coincidence. Taking a deep breath, she opened her menu.

Sameen rolled her eyes and picked up her phone. Lifting her glass of water to her lips, she choked. Root was worried before remembering the text she’d sent earlier. She smirked and kicked Sameen’s shin lightly under the table. It was a good thing they had a tent all to themselves tonight, Root thought as Sameen’s foot traced up her leg.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“This,” John started, his voice husky, firelight flickering on his face, “is the story, of ‘La Llorona.’”

Sameen rolled her eyes across the fire. Turning to look at Root, she rolled her eyes again. Root was staring at John, her mouth open. Of course Root would be into this stuff, Sameen thought. She adjusted herself, trying to find a comfy way to sit on the hard ground. The fire cracked loudly, startling the others.

Sameen took a bite of her s’more. They’d gotten to the campsite with enough time to set their tents up before dark. Well, John and Lionel at set up tents; Sameen had started a fire and the other girls had hung out and eaten chocolate. The sun had gone down hours ago and now they were sitting by the fire, eating hot dogs and s’mores.

John grinned at her across the fire. “La Llorona is a mother. Well, she was a mother. The legend starts on the day of her sons’ baptism. She had twins, two boys.”

“Ugh,” Sameen groaned. “Can you imagine being pregnant with twins?”

“Shut up.,” Joss glared at her. “Listen to the story and eat your damn s’more.”

Sameen raised her eyebrows, but stopped talking. Looking around the circle, she could see that everyone else was invested in the story. Some dumb ghost story was better than making fun of John? Sameen bite into a graham cracker, scowling. All she wanted was to have sex in the woods and eat approximately 100 marshmallows.

“As I was saying,” John started again. “It was the day of her sons’ baptism. She stood in front of the altar, holding-“

“What kind of church is it?” Root interrupted, adjusting the blanket on her lap. “Catholic? Methodist? Presbyterian? Calvinist? Lutheran? Episcopal? Mor-“

“Root!” Lionel threw a marshmallow at her. “Shut up!”

Root picked up the marshmallow from her lap and popped it into her mouth with a smirk. “Sorry, Lionel,” Root said, her mouth full. She winked at John. “Go on.”

“It was a Catholic church,” John told her. “She was holding her two sons in front of the altar in a Catholic church waiting for the priest. As the priest walked out, a group of soldiers marched passed.”

“Soldiers near a church?” Joss asked, skeptical.

John sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Guys, please. I’m trying to tell a scary story.”

“Go on,” Sameen called across the fire, “Spook us.”

Root laughed and bumped her shoulder against Sameen’s. Sameen leaned away, too hot to be close to anyone. Why these idiots wanted to start a fire in summer in Texas, she’d never know. They’d brought fans for their tents. The only reason Sameen had agreed to go camping in the first place was because they’d brought fans for their tents.

“As the priest walked out,” John repeated, “a group of soldiers marched passed. One son looked at the priests and one son looked at the soldiers. La Llorona knew this meant one son would want to be a soldier and the other a priest.”

The wind blew through the trees and Sameen glanced into the woods as she slid a marshmallow onto her stick. They’d found a campsite near a lake in the woods. Tall Elm and Sycamore trees surrounded them, their campfire was the only light for miles. She could hear frogs croaking in the distance; there was a creek nearby and if she really listened, she could hear its soft babble.

Being in the wilderness reminded her of their trip. One morning, she’d woken up as the sun streamed into the car and found Root’s side of the bed empty. When she’d looked outside, she’d seen her Root staring up at the trees, only wearing her underwear, her skin glowing in the early morning sun. Now, Root’s skin glowed with moonlight.

The fire cracked again, drawing Sameen back to the conversation. She’d missed some of it, but that It didn’t really matter; she didn’t care about this campfire story bullshit. She shoved the marshmallow into the fire.

“…them. Now, La Llorona wanders up and down the creek, crying ‘mis niños’ and searching for her children. Sometimes, she takes children from these woods and they’re never seen again.”

“These woods?” Lionel asked nervously. “Children go missing in these woods?”

Root laughed. “Don’t worry, Lionel. We’re too old for her.”

“Well…” Zoe said thoughtfully, tying her hair up into a ponytail. “Lionel is younger than us.”

“And Sameen is pretty small,” Joss added. “She might think you’re a young boy.”

“Excuse me?” Sameen said indignantly, pulling her marshmallow out of the fire. “A ‘young boy’? I’m a grown ass woman, Carter. Young boys don’t have breasts like mine.”

Root smirked at her. “They are nice breasts.”

“Welp,” John smacked his hands on his knees, “there goes my appetite. I’m going to bed.”

Sameen shoved the melted marshmallow into her mouth and dropped the skewer on the ground. She climbed to her feet and reached down to help Root up, pulling her away from the fire as John put it out. Root’s blanket fell to the ground. She left it there and led Sameen towards their tent. The forest floor was loud with footfalls and snapping twigs as the group separated for sleep.

Sameen glanced up at the stars as Root pulled her along; Orion was gone until winter, but Sameen still looked for it. Root ducked into the tent and crawled onto the air mattress, and Sameen laughed as she followed her. Harold had bought them a four-person tent, but Root was so long that she took up most of it.

“You know,” Sameen said, crouching in the tent to zip the flap shut, her knee knocking against a fan. “it’s actually decently cool in here. The fans are working.”

“I’d hope so,” Root chuckled from the bed, “they’re too loud not to be working.”

Sameen crawled onto the bed, the soft sheets sticking to her sweaty skin. She threw her leg over Root; Root’s eyes drifted over her and she pressed herself closer. Taking a deep breath, Sameen reached down to push Root’s hair out of her face. Sameen was always captivated by Root’s deep eyes.

Root was beautiful, intense, but fragile. Sameen wanted to keep her safe and make sure she was always happy. She gazed down at Root’s face and sighed. Dipping down, she brushed her lips against Root’s her hands up Root’s sides.

“Mmm.” Root turned her head, tearing her mouth away. “I have to run to the car.”

Sameen pushed herself up, confused. “What? Now?”

“Yeah.” She pushed Sameen to the side and rolled off the bed. “Just stay here, I’ll be right back.”

“Root, it’s pitch black out there. Let me come with you.”

Root grinned back at her as she unzipped the tent door. “Aww, you’re worried about me?”

“I’m worried,” Sameen started, rolling her eyes, “about crazy Texans with guns.”

“I’ll be fine, Sameen,” Root laughed. “Give me your keys.”

Sameen reached for her backpack at the end of the bed and pulled out her car keys. She tossed them to Root. Root would be fine; the car was only 100 feet away and besides, it was hot outside she’d just started to cool down.

“Be right back.” Root crawled out of the tent, her feet disappearing as she walked away.

Sighing, Sameen dropped back onto the bed. Maybe Root had a present for her – maybe it was a sexy present. Sameen grinned and lifted her feet to untie her sneakers, tossing them to the side. She sat up and pulled her shirt over her head.

Sameen reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, but froze as a scream shot across the campsite, shattering the calm. She raced out of the tent, not caring that she was half naked.

“Root?” she called out. “Was that you?”

The camp ground was silent and completely still. Root wasn’t at the car. Sameen hurried to Lionel’s tent, keeping an eye out for any signs of movement in the forest. She dropped to her knees in front of the closed tent flap. The rocks on the forest floor dug into her knees, but she barely felt them.

“Lionel!” Sameen hissed. “Did you hear that?”

There was no response from Lionel and Sameen rolled her eyes; he was clearly in the tent – she could see his silhouette – but he was useless to her asleep. Climbing to her feet, she ran to John’s tent across the campsite. His tent flap was open and all three of them were missing.

She frowned. Something was going on. There was no way John wouldn’t get her if something had happened to Root. Turning on her heels, she marched back to Lionel’s tent. Why was Lionel the only other one around?The fact that Lionel was the only one around was also suspicious.

“Mis Niños!” Someone shouted from the woods.

Sameen whipped around trying to pinpoint the source, but the woods had gone quiet again. Kneeling in front of Lionel’s tent, she unzipped the flap and crawled inside. Sweat had started rolling down her back; even half-dressed, it was very hot. If this was some prank and they’d dragged her out of her air-conditioned tent for nothing, she was going to be pissed.

“Lionel!” Sameen barked, punching his arm and waking him up. “Get up, Asshole.”

“What?” Lionel sat up in his sleeping bag, rubbing his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Didn’t you hear that yell? Both of them?”

“No? Are you hearing things?”

Sameen sighed and scratched her knee, sticking her head out of the tent. “You’re so useless,” she groaned. “You snore so loud, nothing could wake you.”

Lionel scoffed at her. “I don’t snore.”

“Oh, please,” Sameen rolled her eyes, “you almost register on the Richter scale.”

“At least I’m not almost naked in the woods,” he retorted. “Wait, why are you in a bra? Is this a sex thing? Were you having sex?”

“Yes,” Sameen glared at him, “I left Root waiting in our tent while I came to tell you about someone yelling. Idiot.”

Lionel smiled slyly. “But you were going to have sex.”

Sameen flushed and punched him again. “Shut up, Nerd!”

“Ooh,” Lionel laughed, rubbing his arm, “Root and Sameen, sitting in a tree…”

“Christ,” Sameen muttered as Lionel kept singing. She climbed out of the tent, looking around again. The trees still loomed silently around their campsite. “I’ll figure it out myself.”

“Wait!” Lionel climbed out after her, his white snowman pajamas stark against the dark forest. “You were serious about the screaming?”

“Yes,” Sameen hissed. “Someone screamed and then someone else shouted something.”

“What did they shout?”

“Mis Niños!” The forest answered. “Mis Niños!”

Sameen frowned. “Does that sound like Zoe to you?”

“Oh no,” Lionel whispered, eyes wide. “La Llorona.”

Sameen looked at him, confused. “La What?”

“La Llorona,” Lionel repeated. “She’s the ghost around here!”

“How do you know that?” Sameen crossed her arms. “Did you look up ghost lore about this place before we came? That’s really dumb.”

“No! It’s the story John told!”

A twig snapped on the other side of Sameen’s car and Lionel jumped. Something was moving nearby. Sameen dropped her arms, squinting to get a better look. Fog was rolling in under Sameen’s car, creeping along the forest floor.

Sameen watched as the cool fog covered her feet, providing some relief from the heat. Fog in Texas in April? Something was definitely up.

Lionel reached out to lay his hand on her arm, and Sameen shook her head at him.

“Come on, Lionel, you’re not buying any of this, right?”

His eyes were wide as he lifted a trembling hand, pointing into the distance. Sameen followed his finger and saw a woman standing in the fog, her back to the moon. Her face was hidden in shadow and the moonlight made her long, white nightgown glow, her body’s silhouette visible through the thin cloth.

Even though she couldn’t see the woman’s face, Sameen knew it was Root; her hands had spent too many hours memorizing Root’s shape to not recognize it now. Lionel, however, didn’t recognize her.

“Who is that? A ghost? La Llorona?”

“It’s Root,” Sameen sighed. “Get your eyes checked.”

“It’s dark!” Lionel defended himself. “She looks scary!”

Root started towards them and Sameen had to admit Root did look spooky. Her dark hair was wet and dripping now onto her shoulders. Sameen was suddenly thankful for the warm night; if it had been cold, Root might have gotten sick and Sameen didn’t want her to miss Championships in a couple weeks.

“Root,” Sameen called when Root was within earshot, “what are you doing? Why are you soaking wet?” she paused for a moment, taking in Root’s appearance as she neared. “Why is your body wet, but your dress dry? Did you fall into the river and then change? I’ve never seen that dress before.”

“Blood!” Lionel gasped, clutching Sameen’s arm, “on her face! What’s happening?”

“Wait,” Sameen held her hand out, stopping Root’s approach, “I don’t know this story. Why is she wet?”

“Weren’t you listening? La Llorona drowned her kids!”

Root stared at Sameen, her face blank. It would have made Sameen hesitate if it wasn’t the same face Root made when she was teasing Sameen for “going blank.” Sameen took in the spectacle of fog and Root’s bloody face and rolled her eyes.

“What is this?” Sameen sighed. “Are you trying to scare us? Is this revenge for something?

“John!” Lionel cried, pointing in the same direction Root had come from. “They got him, too!”

“Oh my god. Lionel, stop! It’s a joke!”

Lionel shivered. “It’s fucking terrifying. Why is John shot in the stomach?”

Sameen remembered the first time they went ghost-hunting. She and Lionel had re-enacted the death of the girl who haunted the house. Sameen laughed, making Lionel jump.

“Wow,” Sameen chuckled, impressed. “Talk about holding a grudge.”

“What?” Lionel asked, keeping his eyes on John’s approach. The fog had thickened, making the ground around them almost invisible. “What grudge? La Llorona?”

“No,” Sameen said, prying as she pried Lionel’s hands off of her. She glared at Root. “This is about that house in Corpus Christi when I pretended to be shot and Root got scared.”

“Three years ago?” Lionel’s mouth dropped open. “So this is fake?”

“No,” John answered as he stopped next to Root, “I’m actually shot.”

“Mis Niños!” Zoe’s voice called from the woods followed by a quiet giggle. “I’ll drown you!”

“We had you for a minute!” Root grinned and pushed her hair out of her face. “You were worried.”

“I was curious,” Sameen corrected her, “and also skeptical.”

“It failed because she didn’t listen to my story,” John scowled. “You never listen to me.”

“Say something interesting and I will,” Sameen replied. She stuck her tongue out at him. “Have your girlfriends been behind my car this whole time?”

Joss appeared on the other side of Sameen’s car, walking into the open. Zoe trailed along behind her with a fog machine in her hand.

“The fog needed power,” Joss said, her footsteps crunching loudly as she stepped towards them. “We had to use your car.”

“Well,” Sameen sighed, “this was fun, but it’s hot as fuck out here, I’m not scared, and I’m done. Good night, everyone.”

As she walked away, she heard John ask Lionel if he’d been scared. Of course Lionel had been scared; he believed in all this ghost shit. Sameen ducked into her tent and sat on the air mattress. She watched Root crouched in the night gown and crawl into the tent.

Up close, the blood on her face looked realer. It was dark at her hairline, trailing down her face and smearing across her chin. Reaching out, Sameen wiped some of it away from Root’s eyes. It would be awful for Root to go blind, too.

“Did you like it?” Root asked, gathering her night gown in her hands and pulling it over her head. “At least, Lionel was scared. I didn’t think you would be, but we thought we could at least confuse you.”

“Well, I was confused, for sure,” Sameen chuckled. She scooted back on the bed, making room for Root. “Come here. Wipe your face.”

Sameen pulled out her toiletry bag from her backpack and took out a small container of baby wipes. Root took them and wiped her face off, carefully tracing around her eyes. Sameen unbuttoned her shorts slid out of them as Root tossed the baby wipe to the floor.

“Sex?” Root asked, climbing on top of Sameen. “The shenanigans are over.”

“Hmm,” Sameen tapped her chin, pretending to think about it. “I don’t know if I’m in the mood, I’m all sweaty now.”

Root grinned wolfishly and leaned down, capturing Sameen’s lips in a kiss. She pulled away gazing down into Sameen’s eyes.

“I guess we don’t have to,” Root sighed sadly. “Good night, then.”

She started to slide off Sameen, but Sameen wrapped her arms around her, holding her in place.

“Oh no,” Sameen smirked, highly aware of the way their bare legs rubbed together, “I came here to eat marshmallows and have sex in a tent. I’ve only done one of those things.”

“But Sameen,” Root laughed, “we’re going to be here for a week. If we have sex now, what are we going to do the other nights?”

Sameen rolled them over, grabbing Root’s wrists and pinning them above her head. “These are daily tasks, Babe. Marshmallows and sex, every day.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Root breathed, stretching her head up, straining as she tried to kiss Sameen.

Sameen leaned away, smiling as Root struggled. It may be hot as hell, but Sameen was going to make sure that wasn’t the only reason they were sweating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's that for a throwback?


	44. Hang On To The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter for a long wait. Sorry, guys! I'm almost done with the semester...but I have more hours at work now. What's a boy to do?

Sameen kicked her ankles against the concrete wall, sipping her slushee. They’d just won the championships for the third year in a row and Sameen was feeling good. She and Root were sitting on the wall outside of the 7/11, giving Joss and Zoe some time alone in the hotel room to celebrate in their own way.

She glanced at Root, smiling around her straw as she took in the image of her girlfriend wearing her stolen letterman jacket. Root had convinced Sameen to buy the jacket and put the letters on. Sameen had complained at the time, but now she had to admit that the dark green and muted gold school colors suited Root.

Root crossed her legs, her body swaying as she adjusted herself on the hard concrete. Her eyebrows drew down in thought and she idly scratched at the side of her slushee. The soft scrape of her nails on the paper cup was loud in the quiet night.

“Tell me again,” Root demanded, pulling a handful of gummy worms from the packet sitting between them. “Three legs?”

Sameen pulled the slushee straw out of her mouth, chuckling. “What has four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening?”

“Four, two, three?” Root asked, shoving the gummy worms in her mouth. . “Are the numbers significant? Are they code?”

“First of all,” Sameen said, putting her slushee down and pulling a leg up onto the wall, “if I help you, what’s the point? Second of all, of course the numbers are important. That’s the riddle.”

Root rolled her eyes. “Ok, Crabby. You think you’d be nicer after just having won another trophy.”

“Trophies are dumb.”

“You’re only saying that because you have a few now.” Root swallowed her gummy worms and picked up her slushee. “You were very protective of that first one.”

Sameen glared at Root as she took a large gulp of her drink. “When you only have one of something, you care about it more. Hence why I’m so protective of you.”

“You like me,” Root said, the side of her mouth quirking up in a smile. “You like me and no one else.”

“I like Bear,” Sameen corrected. “You, Bear, and…That’s it.”

Root laughed. “I see your family has been demoted again. What did they do this time?”

“Ugh,” Sameen groaned, “Mrs. Reese took us to Sears yesterday for a family portrait. She waited until you, Zoe, and Joss were busy so we’d have no excuses.”

“What!” Root yelled, her voice echoing across the empty parking lot. “Why didn’t you tell me? Did you wear matching sweaters? Did you do make up? A dress? Do you have the pictures?”

“Root!” Sameen put her hands out, interrupting Root. Root had shifted onto her knees, her body stretched across the space between them. “Look at yourself right now and ask again why I didn’t tell you.”

Root blushed and backed up, sitting down again. “Sorry. But you do have a picture for me right?”

Sameen lifted her butt and pulled her wallet out of her back pocket. She dug out a small picture, holding it up. Root tried to grab it, but Sameen yanked her hand back. “Answer the riddle and I’ll give it to you.”

“Man!” Root grinned, reaching a hand out. “Baby, adult, old person with a cane. Come on. You think I don’t know that one?”

Sameen blinked. “Why did you pretend not to know?”

“It took you a while to get the last one.” Root made a grabbing motion with her outstretched hand. “I didn’t want you to feel bad. Gimme!”

Sameen gave her the photo, scowling. She snatched her drink off the wall, glaring at Root. Root was dumbing herself down for Sameen. A breeze blew across them, making Sameen’s shirt scratch against her stomach. Root pushed her hair behind her ear as she grinned at the picture.

“Lionel’s hair!” Root giggled. She glanced at Sameen, her smiled faltering for a second at the angry look on Sameen’s face. Root rolled her eyes. “You look fine! You should wear your hair down more. I’m going to make you wear it done for prom. We could curl it!”

“How much do you dumb yourself down?”

Root’s grin faded completely. “Sameen…”

“I’m asking you,” Sameen sighed, “because I don’t want you to.”

“I don’t.” Root dropped her hands onto the concrete between them, taking care not to drop the picture. “I mean, I don’t talk about my programming stuff with you, but I don’t fake ignorance.” She rubbed her nose. “Sometimes you get frustrated at puzzles and I don’t tell you the solution right away. That’s it.”

“Ok, but stop it.” Sameen looked away, pretending to survey the area around them. “I’m not dating you just because you’re pretty.”

“Ok, Sameen,” Root agreed, smiling softly. “I’ll stop letting you win at video games now.”

“Excuse me?” Sameen reached out and snatched the family photo from Root’s hand. “I’m taking this back because you’re a liar.”

“No!” Root laughed and gently tugged the picture from Sameen’s tight grip. “Next time we play, I’ll do my best and we’ll have a proper competition.”

“I’m doubting everything I’ve ever won now,” Sameen sighed. “Are you actually bad at sports? Do I really know more Grey’s Anatomy trivia than you? Is your name even ‘Root?’”

“A couple spent their honeymoon camping in the woods,” Root started, tucking the photo into the pocket of the jacket and winking at Sameen, “They took a bunch of photos and stayed in the woods for a week before going home. Three weeks after they returned, they noticed a dead body in the background of their photos. Why did it take them so long to notice?”

Sameen scowled, but she let Root change the subject. She sipped her drink as she thought about the answer. Root scratched her knee.

“This is the first year my mom isn’t around to ruin Championships,” Root said thoughtfully. She stared off into the darkness around them. “We have nothing to worry about.”

Nodding, Sameen chewed on her straw. “Our biggest worry is walking in on Zoe and Joss while they’re naked.”

Root laughed and Sameen put her drink down. Their relationship had changed since they’d gotten back together. It was a good change. Sameen couldn’t describe the difference, but Root talked to her about feelings now. Well, talked to her more. Root had never had a problem talking. Sameen knew it wasn’t perfect, but it felt real. Root was hers and nothing could change that.

“Earth to Sameen,” Root joked, tapping her knuckles on the side of Sameen’s head. “You in there?”

Sameen jerked her head away. “Don’t do that, weirdo.”

“I was talking and you didn’t hear me,” Root replied. “Had to get your attention somehow.”

“What did you say?” Sameen asked, pushing her hair out of her face.

Root smiled. “I asked if you really thought they were having sex.”

Sameen shrugged. A mosquito flew near her and she swatted it away. “Probably. You know they don’t always do it with John.”

Root scrunched her nose, like thinking about John sexually grossed her out. “I don’t want to think about that. It’s interesting that Zoe and Joss do stuff together, though; I always thought they were just in it for John.”

“It started that way, right?”

“Yeah,” Root nodded. She dug around in the bag of gummy worms and pulled out a yellow-green one. “They were friends first.”

Sameen dropped her head back to look at the stars. “Ah, young love.”

Something slimy dropped onto her leg and she looked down; the green half of Root’s worm was stuck to Sameen’s thigh. She flicked it off and glared at Root.

“That’s disgusting.”

“Do you have an answer yet?”

Sameen sighed and put her slushee down. “Three weeks to see a dead body in a picture…Was it film? They had to get it developed?”

“You got it!” Root cheered.

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Don’t sound so surprised.”

“I’m not surprised,” Root said. She leaned forward and puckered her lips for a kiss. Sameen obliged and pressed their lips together for a second. “There’s your prize. Now give me another one.”

“Another kiss?” Sameen asked, skeptical. “You haven’t earned it.”

Root laughed and threw another gummy worm at her. “Another riddle. Also, I deserve all the kisses.”

“Hmm,” Sameen snorted, “I’m not sure you deserve any.”

Root watched her with hooded eyes. They’d been having sex regularly since they’d gotten back together and Sameen kept waiting for the excitement to wear off, but it hadn’t yet Root was still finding new ways to flirt and new things to try.

The other day, in Harold’s class, Root had passed Sameen notes for the whole 50 minutes. Each one had a pick-up line and they’d gotten worse as the hour crawled along. Sameen kept them all, though, putting them in an envelope and hiding the whole bag under her bed. She had an entire Root collection down there of polaroids, notes, and doodles; if Root ever found them, Sameen would never live it down.

“You don’t think I deserve kisses?” Root asked, pouting. “Then what’s the point?”

“Oh my god,” Sameen sneered, “you’re so needy.”

Root sighed loudly and looked away. “Fine,” she said, sounding dejected, “I’ll just leave you alone, then.”

Sameen watched Root slide off the wall and head across the parking lot. She waited for Root to turn around, but Root just kept walking away. When Root was almost to the street, Sameen hopped off the wall and jogged after her. Was Root actually mad at her? Sameen had been joking; surely Root knew that.

“Root,” Sameen said, catching up to her, “wait up.”

Root glanced over her shoulder and Sameen caught a glimpse of her grin. A second later, Root took off running, almost disappearing down the dark street. Sameen froze for a moment before chasing after her.

She’d forgotten how fast Root was. They ran for a few blocks, the unfamiliar Kingsville streets whizzing passed. The moonlight gleamed in Root’s long hair and her footsteps were loud as they thumped against the road. Sameen couldn’t help but smile, her heart racing as the warm air blew against her face.

“Where are we going?” Sameen yelled, but her words were lost in the wind.

Root turned off the road suddenly, hopping over the sidewalk and into a grassy area. Sameen’s sneakers squeaked against the road as she quickly changed directions to follow Root. They were in a park. She knew why Root had brought them there when she saw the sand-floored playground ahead.

With a burst of speed, Sameen caught up to Root, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her to the ground. They crasheddown, landing with a thump and throwing sand into air. Sameen held on, her eyes shut tight against the falling sand. She turned her head to the side, trying to spit out the handful of Root’s hair that had landed in her mouth.

“Sameen!” Root squealed, trying to wiggle away. “Let me go!”

“No,” Sameen said through gritted teeth, “You’re just going to take off again.”

Root stopped struggling and dropped onto her back on top of Sameen. “I won’t. I’ll just stay here, I promise.”

Sameen loosened her arms, not fully trusting Root to stay put; after a moment of calm, she relaxed into the ground. It was always nice to have Root’s weight onto of her. She felt tethered to the ground, able to just breathe and be in the moment.

“Here it is,” Sameen said, using her toes to kick off her shoes. “The stock market is crashing because of a virus. You and three friends are inside, trying to upload the antivirus and save the day. You’re all in one room and you know that upstairs, a group of killers is coming. Downstairs, the computer you need. What do you do?”

Root helped Sameen get her shoes off and tossed them into the distance. There were no lights on the playground, only the streetlights several feet away. Breathing in the comforting smell of Root’s shampoo, Sameen stared up at the stars. They needed some alone time soon, just the two of them.

They were alone now, but Sameen always had this tugging need for more time with Root. More time just being close, more time talking about anything, more time watching movies, reading books, staring into each other’s eyes. It was hard to describe, even to herself, but Sameen needed more of Root. Even now, with Root lying on top of her, she needed to be closer.

“Who’s with me?” Root asked. She turned over, sand crunching beneath her hands and knees. Her hair formed a curtain around their faces. “Who are my allies?”

Sameen stared up at Root’s eyes, content with letting them replace the stars. “John…Fusco…and Harold.”

Root frowned. One hand found its way under Sameen’s shirt and slowly traced up and down her side. “Why aren’t you there? Where are you in all this?”

Sameen shrugged, trying to ignore the feeling of Root’s fingers on her skin. They were not going to have sex in a children’s sand pit. “I don’t know. I’m busy. What do you do?”

“I call you,” Root replied immediately. She put her knees on either side of Sameen’s hips, and sat back to shift her weight off her hands. “I call you and tell you to come to the stock market.”

“What? No! Do you split up? Go everywhere together?” Sameen relented a little bit and set her hands on Root’s hips, avoiding skin contact. “What’s your strategy?”

Root put her other hand under Sameen’s shirt and spread her fingers. The width of her cold hands covered Sameen’s whole stomach. Smirking, Root leaned down, slowly breathing in their shared air.

“Is there a correct answer to this? Or is this an opinion thing?”

Sameen blinked, tearing her focus from Root’s lips. “Just answer the damn question.”

“Ok, um…We go together. Safety in numbers. The priority is the stocks, so we download the virus and then fight the bad guys.”

“Really?” Sameen shrugged, the sand sticking to her bare shoulders. She’d worn a tank top for their 7/11 excursion, and she was still sweaty from the soccer game. “I would have guessed you split up.”

Root hummed and leaned down, pressing their chests together, still not kissing Sameen. Her voiced made her chest vibrate against Sameen’s. “Would you split up?”

“Who knows. I’d let you do whatever you want and then show up in time to save your ass.”

“My hero,” Root said, rolling her eyes. “Doubting me. I could do it myself.”

“With Harold, John, and Fusco helping.”

Root bit her lip and Sameen’s focus narrowed to the way Root’s teeth imprinted on the pink skin. Root’s mouth opened again, her lip swelling slightly from the pressure and her tongue snuck out to wet it. Sameen’s tongue moved by itself, licking her own lips. Her back arched and she slid her hands up Root’s sides, sneaking under her shirt and tracing along the bottom of her bra.

“Deadweight,” Root said, her voice raspy. “The boys are almost useless.”

“Mmm,” Sameen offered, no longer focused on the conversation. “Useless.”

She lifted her head, but Root pulled away. They moved together, Sameen’s body chasing Root’s, until they were sitting up. Root put her hands on Sameen’s shoulders, keeping her away. Sameen’s brow furrowed as her eyes wandered over Root’s face.

“What are you doing?” Sameen asked, her fingers digging into Root’s sides. She strained against Root’s arms. “Kiss me.”

Root pulled her arms away, crossing them in front of her chest. Desperately trying to get close, Sameen pressed herself to Root, pulling her crossed arms down. Sweat dripped down her back.

Root hummed, a smile spreading across her face. “I thought I didn’t deserve kisses.”

“I was joking,” Sameen said, pulling Root tight against her and pushing a hand into Root’s hair. “I obviously want to kiss you.”

“’Obviously?’ There is never anything obvious about you, Sameen.” Root moved her head forward, nudging her mouth against Sameen’s. She pulled away before Sameen could kiss her, grinning at Sameen’s whimper. “Well, nothing emotional anyway.”

“Ok,” Sameen said, making up her mind, “I’m not having sex in the sand, but there’s a pavilion over there with some tables that I think will do nicely.”

Root slid off Sameen and jumped to her feet. Backing up slowly, she held her arms out.

“Well?” she asked, her hair shining in the moonlight, “you coming? Or do you need a little help?”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root raced down the hallway, Sameen hot on her tail. They’d finally made it back to the hotel and she was ready for a shower. She reached into her pocket to pull out the keycard, but Sameen grabbed her arm, twisting it around and shoving Root into the wall.

Sameen pressed their bodies together, rising on her toes to nip Root’s already sore lip. “What is it with you tonight, huh? Running everywhere?”

“I’ve got places to be, Sameen,” Root answered, shrugging casually. Sameen pressed closer and she gasped as the movement tugged her shoulder painfully. “Things to do.”

“We’d better stop,” Sameen sighed “I’m not having sex with Joss and Zoe in the next bed.”

Root hummed softly, pulling her arm out of Sameen’s grasp and moving to the door. “You keep saying things like that and then we end up naked on a picnic table.”

Sameen grinned as Root unlocked the door. “And running from the cops. Who do you think was more shocked, us or them?”

“Definitely them,” Root laughed as she walked into the room. “Hello, naked.”

Zoe and Joss were cuddled together on the floor in front of the tv. They’d pulled the comforter off their beds and wrapped it around themselves, but it hung open in the front and Root could see everything. She shook her head and picked her way around them. Dropping onto the bed, she winked at Sameen.

“Wow,” Sameen commented, stepping out of her sneakers, “are you watching Toy Story? I mean, whatever gets you going, I guess.”

Joss threw a handful of popcorn at her. “You two are the ones having sex outdoors. I see that hickey and those sandy socks.”

Root pulled off her jacket as they continued bickering with each other. They’d all gotten so close over the past three years; it was hard to imagine what next year was going to be like. Maybe she and Sameen would make some new friends.

Root laughed out loud; there was no way Sameen could tolerate another friend. In fact, she would probably be glad for the quiet. They could always bring Lionel along on some of their adventures, so he didn’t get lonely. Root laughed again. Lionel was still annoyed at her for the La Llorona prank; he thought she was crazy, and he’d been keeping his distance.

“What you laugh about over there?” Zoe asked her, the blanket sliding down her shoulders as she turned around. “Share with the class?”

Root shrugged. “I was thinking about how Sameen and I would have to make new friends.”

Zoe chuckled. “Unlikely.”

“That’s why I was laughing.”

Sameen glared at her from across the room. “I can make friends. I made friends with you three, didn’t I?”

“No, Shaw,” Joss answered before Root could, “Root made friends with you and then she made friends with us for you.”

“Well, it’s a two way street.” Sameen stomped across the room and threw herself onto the bed next to Root. “I let her become my friend. It was a gift. You’re all welcome.”

Joss rolled her eyes and wrapped the blanket tighter around herself. “Wow. I actually think Shaw is going to miss us next year.”

“You wish, Carter.”

Zoe reached out to Root, waving her hand. “Come sit with us. Let that bitch pretend she’s a loner.”

Laughing, Root stood and crossed the room to take Zoe’s hand. “I’m actually going to take a shower. I’m all gross from the outdoors.”

“I’m sure you are,” Joss snorted into a fist full of popcorn. “Go on and shower and then watch the rest of these with us.”

Root nodded and dropped Zoe’s hand, squatting down next to the bed to dig through her duffel bag. She was beginning to regret agreeing share one bag with Sameen; Sameen had just shoved everything in and now it was impossible to find anything. After some digging, she pulled out their toiletry bag and her dog shirt.

A quick glance at Sameen showed no signs of movement, so Root headed for the bathroom She pulled the door shut behind her and flicked on the light; the switch also activated the air system and a loud hum filled the room. She sighed and dropped her toiletry bag on the counter. Reaching into the shower, she turned the water on so it could heat up. At least she was showering alone and didn’t have to listen to anything.

She unbuttoned her shorts and started to undress. Sameen probably was going to miss the girls and John after they left, although she’d never admit it. With them gone, she didn’t have anyone to talk about sports with. Root listened, of course, and Lionel watched every Mets game, but they weren’t in the same league with John.

Root reached behind her to unhook her bra and thought about their last sleepover with Joss and Zoe. They’d chosen the treehouse to spend the night. It was always a safer bet than Sameen’s room because John still refused to step inside after almost catching Root and Sameen having sex.

Zoe had made a comment about the team needing a new goalie and Sameen shot back that they’d find a better one than Zoe. It had led to a shouting match and they’d set up a goal in the backyard so Zoe could prove her skills.

Root smiled to herself in the mirror. Next year she’d be sure to find an athletic friend for Sameen.

She ran her eyes over her body, taking stock of various bruises and scrapes, and sighed. Her breasts hadn’t gotten any bigger over the last two years, but all of her exercising with Sameen had given the rest of her body some definition. She’d never have a six-pack, probably, but at least she wasn’t as gangly as she had been.

She met her reflection’s eyes. Her chubby cheeks had gone away at some point. Now, sharp cheekbones framed her face. Maybe she really would be pretty when she grew up.

“Didn’t we promise to stop being self-deprecating?” Root asked herself, turning away from the mirror. “Old habits die hard, I guess.”

Pulling open the shower curtain, she stuck a hand under the water to make sure it was warm. It was just shy of burning, the perfect temperature, so she pulled her soaps out of her bag and stepped into the shower. The warm water felt good against her skin as she set her things down on the small ledge set against the wall.

She was looking forward to the summer. Their apartment had a large bathtub and shower and Root couldn’t wait to try it out. She sighed and put her head into the stream of water. As excited as she was about the summer, and living with Sameen, she was also nervous.

Without school, or friends, or any adventure, what would they talk about? They’d been fine on the roadtrip last year, but that was before Root’s mom and her “break up” with Sameen and their new relationship.

She reached down for her shampoo, squeezing it into her hand, and working it into her hair.

The hot water helped calm her down a little bit and as her fingers massaged her head, she took a deep breath. It would be fine. She and Sameen had been friends for years. They could probably be locked in a cage for months and still have things to talk about.

Tilting her head back into the water, she closed her eyes and let the soap run out of her hair. Root worried more now than she had last summer. Her experience with depression, or whatever she’d been going through last fall, had shown her how temporary things were. She could lose Sameen, lose her grades, lose just about anything.

Root opened her eyes to see Sameen staring at her and jumped. Her feet slipped and Sameen reached into the shower to grab her and help her stay upright. Steadying herself, Root pushed her hair out of her face and glared at Sameen.

‘Sorry,’ Sameen signed, looking sheepish. ‘I didn’t know how else to get your attention.’

“It’s fine,” Root replied, shrugging.

Sameen nodded and pulled her shirt over her head. She dropped it to the floor and started signing again. ‘Can you hear? Should I sign?”

“Sign please,” Root replied.

‘OK. One second.’

Sameen pulled off her socks and tossed them across the room. Root picked up her conditioner as Sameen undressed, stepping out of the way as Sameen joined her in the shower.

Sameen stood under the stream of water, soaking her hair. ‘I can’t stand those two sometimes,’ she signed, looking annoyed. ‘The first Toy Story isn’t even finished and they’re already tearing up. I swear to God, if you cry, I’m leaving.’

Root laughed as Sameen turned around, letting the water hit her face and running her fingers through her hair.

“You wouldn’t leave. You’re all talk.”

Sameen stepped out of the water and she and Root switched places. When they were facing each other again, Sameen rolled her eyes.

‘Let’s just say, I’m looking forward to this summer,’ she signed, smirking. ‘You, Me, and Bear, eating pizza and watching The X-Files. No school, no friends. Just us.’

Root closed her eyes and tilted her head under the hot water. Sameen was looking forward to all the things Root was worried about. Maybe Sameen wasn’t nervous about spending the time alone. After all, she was the one who had kept them together. She wanted them to have a future.

Root straightened her head up to look at Sameen. “Me too.”

‘You know,’ Sameen signed, stepping towards Root, ‘I won’t have sex with you in the next bed, but I didn’t say anything about the shower.’

Root laughed and pushed Sameen back. “No way, Crazy. No sex when I can’t hear.”

Sameen mouth opened and Root guessed she was sighing or growling. As wild and dangerous as Sameen claimed to be, she was pretty predictable.

‘Fine,’ Sameen pouted, ‘but Zoe and Joss are riding back with John tomorrow, and you and I are having sex in the clubhouse A.S.A.P.’

“Deal.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

The credits rolled on Toy Story 3 and Sameen glared at the other girls from her place on the bed; she’d retreated from the floor halfway through when they’d all started blubbering. Root turned around from her place on the floor, tears running down her face, to look at Sameen.

“You’d never give me up because you’re going to college, right?”

“Oh my god,” Sameen rolled her eyes, “One, you’re not a stuffed animal, and two, of course not, idiot.”

Root nodded and turned back around to look at the other two girls. “You guys know I love you, right?”

Zoe nodded and wiped her face. “God, I haven’t cried in so long. This movie just gets me. Andy gave up all his toys to be an adult! I haven’t even started packing yet!”

“I’m never getting to sleep now,” Joss added, tossing the empty bag of popcorn aside. “I’m too sad.”

Sameen groaned and dropped her head back onto her pillow. “Is there anything I can do to make you guys stop crying? It’s been hours. Some of us played really hard today and are tired.”

“Some of us have full volume feelings, Sameen,” Root shot back, laughing. “I don’t think you can help us right now. The future is looming.”

“Actually…” Joss started, her face slowly twisting into a smile. “I’d love to give you a makeover.”

“A makeover?” Sameen parroted, sitting up. “Like make-up?”

Joss rolled her eyes. “That’s generally how the work, yes.”

Sameen instantly regretted offering to help. This wasn’t her area of expertise and she’d honestly expected them to ask for slushees or chocolate. If a makeover would make them stop crying though…

“Fine,” she bit out, “you can make me over.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root blinked open her eyes, not sure what woke her. She tried to sit up, but something was pinning her down. Following the arm around her waist, she found Zoe attached to the other end. She and Joss were cuddled up to Root, their bodies pressed together to fit into one bed.

A spill of light caught her attention and she looked at the door to their room. Mrs. Reese was in the doorway watching them. Root rubbed her eyes and smiled tiredly.

‘Have fun?’ Mrs. Reese signed across the room to her. ‘Everything ok in here?’

Root nodded and raised her hands to sign back. ‘We watched movies and did Sameen’s make up.’

Mrs. Reese looked to the other bed and Root followed her gaze. Sameen was alone in her bed, her heavily made up face pulled down into a frown. Mrs. Reese turned back to Root, giggling quietly.

‘Sounds like a good time. I was just checking in.’

‘We’re good. Thank you.’

Mrs. Reese smiled one more time and stepped out of the room, closing the door as quietly as possible. Carefully moving Zoe’s arm, Root slipped out of bed and silently tip-toed across the room.

“Sameen,” she whispered, pushing the sheets down, “are you awake?”

Sameen grunted and held her arms out, still asleep. Root grinned and climbed into bed, scooting close to Sameen’s warm body. Immediately, Sameen’s arms wrapped around her, her head tucking under Root’s chin and their legs tangling together.

“I love you,” Sameen mumbled almost incoherently. “Sleep time.”

Root held Sameen close, sighing happily. “Good night. I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, all!  
> It doesn't tell me the total word count before I post the chapter, so I don't know if we're at 150,000 yet, BUT I have the playlist all ready to go!
> 
> A question for you guys:  
> Is there anything in the story that you want to see revisited? Things that were mentioned, activities that happened that you'd like to see again, etc? Or anything new? What do you all want to see?
> 
> I have the plot all planned out, but there's a whole summer and a year of school left! Plenty of time to get some stuff in.
> 
> Let me know! Thanks!


	45. The Weight of Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!  
> So, I don't think this chapter takes us to 150,000, but it's long as hell and what the heck!
> 
> Here's a link to the post with the playlist:  
> http://maybesomedaysameen.tumblr.com/post/168420423878/the-vast-thing-150000-words-x-thank-you-to

Sameen leaned back against the wall next to Root’s mirror and watched Mrs. Rousseau push one last bobby pin into Root’s up-do. She sighed. They’d been at the hair salon forever and Sameen hadn’t even gotten in the chair yet. Prom was in five hours and the salon was packed with high school girls. Sameen looked around at Zoe and Joss, sitting in the waiting chairs on the other side of the front desk, their hair perfectly curled.

Sameen was actually looking forward to prom, but the last few weeks had been exhausting. Between camping and soccer games, Root’s Science Bowl competition and Championships, John’s last Lacrosse game and way too many family dinners, Sameen was ready for the school year to end. She would miss John, Zoe, and Joss, sure, but maybe she and Root could go back to just hanging out at home.

They’d made a lot of progress since they got back together. Sameen still hated when Root wanted to spend time alone and Root knew Sameen snuck out for midnight runs. She was sure they’d talk about it eventually, they had all summer, but for right now, there was just prom.

Prom would be nice, Sameen knew. Maybe she’d even consent to slow dance with Root for a few songs. There weren’t a lot of big opportunities and Prom was a staple. Maybe if they went to this one their junior year, Sameen could convince Root to stay home next year.

“So,” Mrs. Rousseau started, putting hands on Root’s shoulder and smiling at Sameen over her head, “I think you’re good to go! Sameen, honey, come sit down.”

“Yeah, Honey,” Root giggled, climbing out of the chair, “sit down!”

Rolling her eyes, Sameen waited for Root to take off the black apron. She snatched it out of her hands and dropped into the seat, impatient. No one had done hair since her mother died almost five years ago. If Mrs. Rousseau hadn’t done such a good job on Joss’ hair, she might have been skeptical.

“Nothing fancy,” Sameen demanded, glaring at Mrs. Rousseau through the mirror. “Just curl it or something. Put it in a bun.”

Mrs. Rousseau laughed and picked up her spray bottle. “You’re the opinionated one of the group, huh? I’ll do my best.” She turned to wink at the other girls.

Root giggled, sitting on the front desk next to Sameen. “She’s the stubborn one, anyway. Too butch for her own good.”

“Excuse me?” Sameen reached for the collar of the apron and started climbing out of the chair. “I can go.”

“Sit.” Mrs. Rousseau commanded, her face stony. She waited until Sameen had sat down again before smiling. “Good girl. Listen to your girlfriend.”

Sameen crossed her arms under the apron, grumbling. Root had gotten a sensible braid, but Sameen was stuck getting princess curls. It wasn’t that she didn’t like dressing up, Sameen loved it, but dressing up to go to prom and be just like all the other girls was weird.

Sameen wasn’t like everyone else. She didn’t get excited for things like prom. She didn’t get excited for anything. If Root hadn’t been so adamant that they were doing this, Sameen would have just gotten into RBG and gone to Corpus Christi for ice cream. She glared at herself in the mirror. If Mrs. Rousseau put a single sparkly clip in her hair, she was leaving.

“It’s a miracle we got her here at all,” Zoe joked, tossing her magazine onto the table in front of her. “She was going to just braid her hair like always and call it done.”

“But it’s prom!” Mrs. Rousseau gasped. “Girls have to dress up!”

“Root’s in a braid!” Sameen protested, indignant. “How would my braid be any different?”

Joss snorted. “Root never wears her hair up, so when she does, it’s fancy. You always do, so it means nothing.”

“Ridiculous,” Sameen mumbled as Mrs. Rousseau combed her hair. “Unbelievable.”

“I’m glad they let you girls go together,” Mrs. Rousseau said before sticking a butterfly clip in her mouth. “I was afraid that stuffy old Elaine would forbid it.”

“She was fine.” Root swung her legs against the front desk, her hands clasped in her lap. “Control has actually been supportive of our relationship from the beginning.”

“Control?” Mrs. Rousseau clipped Sameen’s hair into sections, tugging sharply when Sameen made a face. “Because she’s controlling? I like that. I’ll call her that this evening.”

“I came up with it,” Joss bragged. “Freshman year.”

“Bullshit,” Zoe said, punching Joss in the arm. “It was my idea.”

“Watch the language, girls,” Mrs. Rousseau chastised them. “This is a Christian establishment.”

“Sorry, Mrs. Rousseau,” Zoe apologized. “It was my idea, though.”

“I’m sure it was, sweetheart.” Mrs. Rousseau gathered a section of Sameen’s hair in her hands and picked up her curling iron. “Now, which one of you girls is going with the Reese boy? I’ve heard you all have an arrangement.”

“Um,” Zoe said, pushing her hair behind her ears, flushing, “you have?”

“This is a small town, Dear. Everybody knows everything.”

“Oh god,” Joss whispered, “do you think my parents know? Is that why my dad tried to have the sex talk with me?”

Root laughed and turned to look over her shoulder at them. “The Sheriff tried to give you the sex talk? That’s so weird. Mrs. Reese gave us ours.” She thought about it for a moment. “It was short.”

“I remember when I gave Martine the sex talk,” Mrs. Rousseau said thoughtfully. Her hands expertly twisted Sameen’s hair around the curler. “She was embarrassed, of course. Still, I think she learned some things.”

Sameen snorted. It was almost impossible to think about Martine having sex. Would it be with Lambert? That was disgusting. A group of girls across the salon laughed loudly.

“Huh,” Root offered, distracted by the noise. She scratched her shoulder. “I’m sure Martine enjoyed it, too.”

“As much as Martine enjoys anything,” Sameen scoffed. “She is ice cold. Oh, sorry, Mrs. Rousseau.”

“It’s alright,” Mrs. Rousseau smiled at her in the mirror, pulling a curl free. “I know she can be hard to read. I always thought the two of you would be friends. You’re very similar.”

Joss snorted. “If they actually got along, I think they’d have burned down the school.”

“Yeah,” Zoe added, “and not in an ‘accidental Chem lab’ way like Root.”

“Ok, first of all,” Root started, defending herself, “if they don’t want us to experiment after hours, they should have better locks. Second of all, Harold gave me that book. Who gives a sophomore that kind of knowledge? He practically asked me to start that fire!”

“Yeah, like Grace ‘asked’ you to almost destroy her kitchen making bread. You’re a junior now.” Sameen rolled her eyes. “It was bread, Root.”

“Whatever,” Root scoffed, flicking her hair over her shoulder, “you love me.”

“It comes and goes.”

Mrs. Beecher walked up to the front desk and shooed Root off so she could check someone out. Sameen watched as Root hopped off the desk and moved to leaned against the mirror. Root stuck her tongue out at her and she rolled her eyes.

“Are we doing make up after this?” Sameen asked her as Mrs. Rousseau pull another chunk of hair down. “At home?”

“Yeah,” Root answered, sticking her hands in her pockets, “why?”

“I’m hungry.” Sameen stuck her hand out from under the apron and scratched her nose. “I need food before we go.”

“We’ll eat,” Zoe spoke up from the other side of Mrs. Beecher. “We don’t want to drink on an empty stomach. Uh…I mean-“

“It’s alright,” Mrs. Beecher assured her as Mrs. Rousseau laughed. “We all went to Bishop High. We know how kids are.”

She finished ringing her customer up and wandered away. Sameen watched as Root waited an appropriate amount of time before moving back to the desk and hopping up. She smiled to herself. As annoyed as she was that Root was getting away with a braid, she had to admit that Root looked good.

The braid pulled all of her hair away from her face and her accentuated her cheekbones. The tattoo behind her ear stood out against her pale skin. Sometimes, when Sameen looked at pictures of Root from when they first met, she didn’t recognize her. Root had still had blonde hair and she hadn’t gone through her end-of-freshman-year growth spurt. Root looked like an adult now. Sameen smirked. Root had gotten hot.

The bell above the front door rang and Sameen turned to look. Martine stomped through the door way, her face twisted into a scowl. From her messy appearance, Sameen guessed she wasn’t ready for prom.

“Honey?” Mrs. Rousseau asked her, wrapping another curl around the curler. “Everything alright?”

“Prom is stupid. Boys are stupid. This whole goddamn town is stupid.” Martine crossed the waiting room, stopping next to her mother. “I’m not going to prom, so don’t even worry about my hair.”

“You’re not? Is it because of that boyfriend of yours?”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Martine scoffed and crossed her arms. “He’s just some asshole who ‘doesn’t believe in ceremonies’.”

Sameen bit her tongue, holding back a snide comment. Martine and Lambert were perfect for each other. Both of them were assholes and both of them were stupid. Besides, if Martine actually hated him, she wouldn’t have gotten back together with him last summer.

“Well, you could go by yourself,” Root tried. “Go stag. Wait. Is it…Doe, if it’s a girl alone?”

Martine glared at her, fists clenched. “Fuck off.”

“Martine!” Mrs. Rousseau reprimanded. “Apologize! You shouldn’t speak to people like that.”

“Mom!” Martine pointed at Sameen. “She has said worse to me!”

“Yeah, but you deserved it.” Sameen smiled at her through the mirror.

“Now, girls,” Mrs. Rousseau started, “you two should try to be friends. You have a lot in common. You both think prom is stupid. You both think boys are stupid. Start there.”

Martine glared at Sameen for another moment before stomping away. She disappeared into the back, slamming the door shut behind her. Sameen didn’t really hate Martine. Well, that wasn’t true, but she did feel bad for her sometimes. Lambert treated her like shit and Hersch was only friends with her when Lambert was.

Sameen rolled her eyes. Maybe she and Root could try being nicer. It wouldn’t hurt, and they could always go back to being mean if it didn’t work out.

“I’m almost done,” Mrs. Rousseau said, smiling. “You look great!”

Sameen looked at her curls in the mirror. She looked good like this. She always looked good, but the curls did add a special something. Sameen remembered their trip to the Symphony. They’d both dressed up and Root had looked amazing. She hoped Root really dressed up for tonight.

She and Root had gone dress shopping separately. Apparently, girlfriends weren’t supposed to see each other’s dresses before prom. It was bad luck or something. Sameen was pretty sure Root had just made that up. Root was looking at her from her position on the desk and Sameen turned, glaring.

“Can I help you?” Sameen asked, annoyed. “Didn’t anyone tell you it’s rude to stare?”

Root just winked at her, her whole face moving, and kicked her feet against the desk.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root smoothed her clothing down nervously. She was standing in front of Sameen’s room, trying to gather the courage to knock on her closed door. She felt a little dumb; it wasn’t like she and Sameen hadn’t gone somewhere fancy before and it wasn’t like they hadn’t been dating for a while. Still, it was prom and that was a big deal.

Before Sameen, Root would never have dreamed her life could be this good. Sure, she was deaf in one ear and both her parents had left her, but now she had caring parents and a girlfriend who loved her and real friends.

It was difficult to believe it had only been five months since they’d made up. Ten months since they’d come back from their roadtrip. Root swallowed hard. Was it wrong of her to be so happy now? It hadn’t even been a year since her mother had left.

Root hadn’t gotten angry in weeks and Sameen had finally stopped asking her if she was ok. They were doing good. Back to normal. Prom would be great.

Root ran a hand over her hair and took a deep breath. She reached out and knocked on the door, waiting for Sameen’s ‘come in’ before opening it.

“Wow,” she breathed, taking in Sameen, “you look beautiful.”

Sameen was wearing a strapless black dress. It hugged her body to her waist and then fell heavily to the ground. Root ran her eyes over Sameen’s strong arms, her tan skin smooth. Sameen’s collarbones were amazing, and Root couldn’t wait to run her teeth over them later. Sameen looked like a movie star, her hair curled and her make-up perfect. Mrs. Reese finished zipping up the dress and stepped back.

“What?” Sameen asked, glaring at Root. “Why are you in a tux? I thought we were dressing up.”

“We are dressed up,” Root said, stepping forward. She placed her hands on Sameen’s waist, running her thumbs over the soft fabric. “You look wonderful. You are wonderful.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, even as her cheeks turned pink. “I would have worn a tux, too, if I had known.”

“But Sam,” Mrs. Reese pouted, “we had a lot of fun dress shopping, didn’t we?” She turned to smile at Root. “I always wanted a daughter to go prom dress shopping with.”

“Next year, you can come with me and Grace,” Root offered, her hands still on Sameen’s bodice. “I know Sameen will want to wear a tux.”

“I want to wear a tux this year,” Sameen repeated. She crossed her arms. “Why do you get to wear one?”

“Because,” Root grinned, “I look good in a tux.”

“And I don’t?” Sameen scoffed. “I would look great in a tux.”

“Ok,” Mrs. Reese interrupted, “I’m going to go downstairs and get the…you-know-what.”

Root turned to her, frowning. “The what?”

“Sameen will tell you.” Mrs. Reese walked out of the room and started for the stairs.

“You look great,” Sameen said softly, pulling Root’s attention back to her. “It’s nice that we’re going to prom.”

“I know it’s an outdated tradition, but it is good to do something romantic, you know?” Root ran her eyes over Sameen’s face, trying to see how she really felt. “Are you ok with it? We don’t have to go.”

Sameen sighed and wrapped her arms around Root’s shoulders. “I want to go, I guess. I never really expected to go to prom. Once I met you…maybe, but before that I wouldn’t have wanted to. It seemed like one of those things other girls did.”

“Like dating and marriage and kids?” Root asked. Sameen was impossible to read when she got like this. Her face was blank, the only hint of emotion was the soft look in her eyes. “I don’t want to push you. I know this whole relationship has been a lot of pushing. Pushing together, pushing away…”

“Root,” Sameen wrapped her hands around Root’s braid, tugging slightly, “I wouldn’t let you push if I didn’t want you to.”

“You’d just beat me up, right?” Root smiled down at her. Even in heels, Sameen was shorter.

Sameen nodded, her eyes narrowing. “Exactly. I taught you my work outs, but not my fighting skills.”

“You’ll teach me someday,” Root stated, confident. “If not, I’ll put myself in increasingly dangerous situations and you’ll have to keep finding me and saving me.”

Sameen just laughed and stepped forward, pressing their bodies together. Root moved her arms, wrapping them around Sameen’s waist. She dipped her head down, brushing her lips against Sameen’s, feeling the satin of her lipstick. Sameen pushed forward insistently, and Root kissed her fully, shivering slightly at the feeling of Sameen’s fingers tracing her tattoo.

A loud cough and a knock on the open door pulled them apart and Root turned around to see Mrs. Reese standing in the doorway holding two corsages.

“Here you go,” Mrs. Reese said, offering the flowers.

Sameen untangled herself from Root and walked around her, unsteady in her heels on the carpet. She took the corsages and turned back to Root. Mrs. Reese winked at Root before leaving the room again.

“I got one to pin on a chest and one that goes on wrists. I wasn’t sure which was right or which you’d want.”

Root smiled, surprised. “You got me flowers?”

“Yeah.” Sameen frowned. “Girls like flowers, right? You wear these to prom? If John lied to me, I’m going to kill him.”

“No,” Root laughed, “this is right. I’m just surprised. You haven’t gotten me anything in a while.”

Sameen glanced at the snow globe sitting on Root’s bookshelf. “I haven’t? Well…Sorry, I guess.”

Root rolled her eyes and took the corsage with a pin from Sameen. “Don’t be sorry. We’re together; you don’t have to get me gifts all the time. You’ve already won me over.”

She could feel Sameen’s eyes on her as she tried to pin the flowers to her chest, fingers fumbling. Root was happy with their new relationship, post ‘break-up.’ Sure, there were things they could talk about, but overall things were great.

“Here,” Sameen said, tossing her flowers onto the bed and crossing the room to help Root, “let me help.”

She took the flower pin from Root, her brow clenched in concentration. Root’s eyes fluttered at their closeness as Sameen expertly pinned the flowers to her lapel. They were going to prom.

“Alright,” Sameen sighed, stepping back, “good to go.”

“Let me get yours.” Root leaned forward to pick up the other corsage and opened the box.

Sameen had bought them white corsages. The flowers looked like the ones that grew near the train, a lot of petals and perfectly round. Root smiled fondly at them as she stretched out the elastic they were sown to.

“Hold your hand out,” she ordered Sameen. “Hurry or Mrs. Reese will come back to yell at us.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and held her wrist out. Root slid the elastic on, carefully removing her fingers. She suddenly remembered something.

“Hold on a minute,” Root said, jogging over to Sameen’s desk. She lifted the HAM radio necklace from where it sat in a small dish. She turned back to Sameen grinning. “Wear this.”

“As if we weren’t nerdy enough,” Sameen scoffed, but she walked over to Root and spun around.

Sameen lifted her curls carefully and Root laid the necklace on her chest. She closed the clasp and smiled happily.

“Now everyone will know you’re mine.”

Sameen snorted and dropped her hair, turning to face Root. “No one needs to remember, Root. Everyone knows.”

“Still,” Root shrugged, running her eyes over the necklace settled on Sameen’s chest, “it’s nice.”

“I know,” Sameen said softly. “You’re mine.”

Root felt her eyes water and she drew a shaking breath. “Forever, Sameen. No more fighting.”

“Well,” Sameen scrunched her nose, “no promises there.”

Root laughed and nodded, wiping her eyes quickly. She pressed a kiss to Sameen’s lips. “That’s fair. Ok, we’ve stalled long enough. Let’s go downstairs for pictures.”

“Oh god,” Sameen moaned, letting Root turn her around by her shoulders, “do we have to?”

“Yes!” Root laughed, pushing her out of the room and down the hall. “How else will we remember this night?”

“Our fucking memory?” Sameen scoffed, starting down the stairs. “I know Harold is old as hell, but the rest of us will remember this.”

Root just sighed happily as they walked downstairs. John’s head poked out from the living room and disappeared again. A moment later, everyone started spilling out into the foyer. Sheriff and Dr. Carter were here and Zoe’s mom. All of their parents had come over to take pictures and send them off. Harold and Grace grinned at them and Grace raised a small digital camera.

“Smile, girls!” She took a picture. Lowering the camera, she wiped an eye. “You both look so beautiful. It still feels like the first day of school.”

Root stepped off the stairs, stopping next to Zoe. Zoe looked beautiful, her dark purple dress suiting her skin tone. Her hair slicked back, a few curls falling from her bun. Root had always thought Zoe was beautiful. If she hadn’t met Sameen, maybe Root would have had a crush on her instead.

“You look great, Root,” Zoe complimented her, smiling. “How mad is Sameen that you’re wearing a tux and she isn’t?”

Root shrugged. “I’ll make it up to her.”

“I’m sure you will,” Zoe winked. She bumped Root with her shoulder. “You guys coming to Dairy Queen after?”

Root nodded. She watched Sameen talk to Joss across room, her long hair cascading down her back. 

“You really love her, huh?” Zoe asked, wistfully.

Root smiled fondly, still tracing Sameen with her eyes. “Yeah. I do. She’s the one.”

“Not to brag,” Zoe chuckled, “but I have two of those.”

Finally turning to look at Zoe, Root laughed. “Whatever. You also have twice the drama. A boy and a girl to deal with.”

Zoe groaned, crossing her arms. “Don’t remind me. I have to live with them next year.”

“You have to live with them forever.”

Mrs. Reese gasped loudly and Root turned to look at her. She was looking to the top of the staircase. Following her gaze, Root grinned. Lionel was posing on the top step, his hands shoved into the pockets of his tux and his hair slicked back. Someone had tamed his wild curls and he looked sleek and handsome.

“Damn, Lionel,” Sameen whistled, “Who taught you how to work out? Oh, yeah. Me.”

Lionel snorted and started down the stairs, his face red. “You can’t take all the credit. Some of this is just good genetics.”

Root crossed the room to stand with Sameen. Lionel did look good. He’d lost some weight since last summer, working out with Sameen and playing lacrosse. He’d probably never be thin, but he looked strong. She wouldn’t be surprised if he got a girlfriend soon.

“Alright,” Sheriff Carter said loudly, “everyone on the stairs for pictures. Keep your hands where I can see them, John.”

John flushed and made sure to put some distance between himself and the girls. Sameen grumbled next to Root as she started towards the stairs.

“You’re lucky I love you.”

Root followed her, smiling. “Yeah, I am.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen took Root’s hand as they walked into the gymnasium. It had been transformed overnight into someone’s interpretation of Paris in Autumn. Sameen had actually been to Paris in Autumn and she knew for a fact that the decorations were lacking.

Bright red, orange, and yellow streamers had been draped along the ceiling in rows and matching balloons clung to the ceiling. A large balloon arch stretched across the room diving the tables from the dance floor. The table are right in front of them was teaming with high schoolers. Sameen sighed. Almost everyone from their school was here.

The dance floor was almost empty. Apparently, these kids were afraid to dance. Sameen knew Root would want to dance and she had already resigned herself to it. In fact, she’d even watched some videos on how to slow dance. This was their first big event together since New Year’s and she wanted to impress Root.

A small band played in the back corner and there were way too many lights pointing in every direction. Sameen snorted and turned to Root to make fun of the décor, but hesitated.

Root was staring around the room like she was in heaven. The bright, colored lights played across her face, illuminating her wide eyes. Even Sameen could tell that Root didn’t think this was stupid. Root looked ecstatic, happier than she’d been in a long time.

Sameen’s eyes slid passed her to look at the others. John stood between Joss and Zoe, the three of them grinning. Lionel had his hands shoved in his pockets, but he was nodding his head along with them music and looking around for any girls alone. Sameen was the only one who seemed to hate this whole thing.

She looked at Root again, wondering what it felt like to be that excited. If Sameen really tried, she could imagine she was excited for prom. Prom meant she and Root were girlfriends. Prom meant the school year was almost over. Prom meant she was actually a normal teenager.

Looking around the room, Sameen started to doubt that this was a good idea. She wasn’t exactly the romantic type. She and Root had just gotten back together and prom was a big deal. What if she ruined it for Root?

She felt a squeeze and looked down at their connected hands. Glancing up at Root, their eyes met. Root smiled at her, eyes twinkling.

“You ok?” Root asked.

Sameen nodded. Had Root been able to tell that she was worried? How did Root do that? Sameen didn’t have feelings, but Root always knew what she was thinking.

“Yeah,” Sameen answered. “Just thinking about how much these decorations sucked.”

Root laughed and rolled her eyes. “I know. Why is the theme Paris in Autumn? It’s May in Texas.”

Sameen breathed a sigh of relief and led them further into the room. So far so good, Root hated the decorations, too. Maybe she wasn’t totally swept up in all the prom nonsense. Sameen stopped next to a table and turned to Root.

“What first? We could get punch or dance?”

Root looked around the room, thinking it over. Lionel dropped into a chair at their table, accidentally knocking a plastic cup over. He fixed it quickly, blushing.

“Nervous, Lionel?” Sameen asked, dropping Root’s hand. She sat in the chair next to him. “Just pretend you don’t even want to be here. Works for me.”

Lionel snorted. “You actually don’t want to be here and you never get nervous, so your advice is useless.”

Sameen just shrugged and looked away. “Suit yourself.”

They sat at the table for a moment as Root tried to decide. John and his girls had gone straight for the punch. Sameen chuckled. She knew that Zoe had a small flask of rum in her handbag, ready to party. Next to her, Lionel sniffed loudly.

“Hey, Shaw?” Lionel asked, reaching out to tap her arm. “Hey.”

Sameen turned slowly to look at him, her eyebrows raised. “What?”

Lionel blushed slightly, running a hand over his stiff hair. “You and Root are dating…”

Sameen waited for him to go on, but he just stared into his lap. She sighed and dropped her arms onto the table. “Lionel. Spit it out.”

“How do you get girls to notice you?”

“Oh,” Sameen blinked. She hadn’t expected him to ask that. Looking him over, she remembered how young he was, and how self-conscious. Lionel was a good kid; he just had problems making friends. “Um…Be yourself?”

Lionel rolled his eyes. “Thanks.”

“I don’t know!” Sameen leaned towards him, conspiratorially. “God knows why, but Root likes me for who I am. Just be yourself and someone will find you. Also,” she added, “buy them flowers.”

“But how can I get a girl here to dance with me?”

“Ask them?” Sameen pulled back and crossed her arms. “Tonight’s a good night for you, Lionel. I can feel it. Pick a girl, ask her to dance, then dance with her.”

Lionel shook his head, waving a hand at her. “They’d never say yes.”

Watching him for a moment, Sameen tried to think of something comforting to say. The band played in the far corner and kids were weaving their way through the tables around them. There had to be something good to say, but Sameen couldn’t come up with anything.

A pretty girl walked by and Sameen shot her hand out, grabbing the girl by the wrist, startling her.

“Are you here with someone?” Sameen asked roughly, glaring up at the girl.

“No?” The girl asked, nervously. “I, um, I like boys, though.”

“Great!” Sameen looked at Lionel and jerked her head. “Do your thing.”

Lionel smiled nervously and stood. He ran shaking hands over the front of his tux and stepped towards the girl. “Um, I know this is weird, but…Do you want to dance with me?”

The girl grinned at him and Sameen let her go.

“Of course, Lionel! I’m glad you asked.”

Lionel looked shell-shocked, his mouth open. Recovering quickly, he nodded and held his hand out for her to take. As they walked away, Lionel turned back to smiled at Sameen. He gave her a thumbs-up.

Sameen just winked at him and turned her attention back to Root, who was still staring around at all the decorations and people. Running her eyes over Root, Sameen took a deep breath. How did she make Root like her? Had she even done anything? Root had just shown up one day and Sameen had let her in. Maybe that was all it took.

She watched as Root’s eyes landed on the dance floor. Root was beautiful. The tuxedo covered most of her skin, but Sameen knew it was soft and smooth. Root’s dark hair was already coming out of the braid and falling around her face. After a few dances, she would pull it out and let it hang loose. Sameen couldn’t wait to dig her fingers into it.

One good thing about prom was what happened after prom. Sameen didn’t know much, but if the cheesy movies Root liked were anything like real life, they were going to have sex later. Sameen had already hidden some champagne in the train for later. Root didn’t know it, but Sameen had worn new, lacy underwear.

“Sameen?” Root asked. “Did you hear me?”

“Uh,” Sameen flushed and stood up, “no, sorry. I was…distracted.”

Root smirked at her and started walking backwards to the dance floor. “Was my beauty too much for you? Am I too tempting in this suit?”

“I’m tempted to punch you,” Sameen replied, following her. She glared at everyone in their way, making sure Root had a clear path to the dance floor.

Root just grinned at her, holding her arms out. Sameen took her hands and closed the distance, Root stumbling against her slightly as she was pulled off balance. Sameen smiled as she wrapped her arms around Root, keeping her upright and close.

“Sameen,” Root breathed, putting her hands on Sameen’s shoulders and looking around. “People are looking.”

“Fuck them,” Sameen said, not taking her eyes off Root’s face. “I worked too hard to get you back to care what some small town losers think.”

Root grinned at her, eyes fluttering. Her hands slid up Sameen’s neck to cup her face. Pressing a kiss to Sameen’s lips, Root sighed. Sameen deepened the kiss, sucking Root’s lip into her mouth and digging her fingers into her back. Root’s thumbs ran along her cheekbones and Sameen hummed, content.

The music changed and a slower song started. Sameen adjusted them, taking one of Root’s hands in her own and shaking her head to move her hair out of her face. They started dancing slowly, almost alone on the dance floor. As she looked into Root’s eyes, Sameen relaxed.

They were so close to the future, leaving Bishop behind and starting their real life somewhere else. This summer was their real test. After all the fighting and anger, could they just…be? Be together, be normal, be in love? Sameen shifted her hand on Root’s waist, the soft fabric of her suit brushing against her fingertips. The band played softly as they swayed.

At least they’d be busy, Sameen thought. Plenty to talk about between Root’s NASA internship and Sameen’s medical one. Some topics were still off limits between them and it wasn’t easy to bring up the future without talking about the past. They didn’t talk about next year’s Halloween costumes. They didn’t talk about what Root was going to do with her mother’s house. They didn’t talk about how Sameen left the bed some nights to sleep across the room.

Sameen looked at their joined hands, Root’s cupped gently in her own. They’d both worn their matching rings. She ran her thumb over Root’s index finger, feeling the cool metal on Root’s hand. It reminded her of Valentine’s day, of the day they became girlfriends. Sameen had thought they were together for months before that, since she’d broken up with Tomas.

Apparently, Root had needed formal confirmation. Sameen pulled her closer, putting their cheeks together. As much as she protested, Sameen had thought about marrying Root. She smiled; Root would say yes in a heartbeat if she asked now. Her smiled faltered. Well, probably.

Maybe Root needed some time. Maybe they should sort out their lingering issues before getting married. Still, Sameen thought, running her hand over Root’s back. So, they weren’t totally fine, yet, but here, under the too bright lights, with Root so close to her, Sameen almost felt happy. As Root’s fingers brushed against her neck, and their eyes stayed fixed on each other, everything was looking good.

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Root looked over the town. It looked small from her high perspective. Well, smaller than usual. They’d gone up to roof of the gym to get some space. Lionel had gotten too excited during the Macarena and here they were, enjoying the breeze and overseeing the town.

Even though she knew she’d never be able to see it, Root still looked for her house. Her old house, she corrected herself. Harold’s house was her house now. She sighed, leaning against the ledge around the roof. She didn’t know if she would ever consider Harold’s house hers. It was too weird and still so new.

She looked at Sameen, leaning against the wall looking at the stars with her arms crossed. After a couple hours of dancing, the curls in Sameen’s hair had started to sag. Her long hair hung halfway down her back, shining in the lights on the roof. Her skin gleamed with a thin layer of sweat.

A cool breeze blew around them, lifting Root’s jacket and blowing through their hair. Sameen shivered and Root started to pull her jacket off.

“Here,” Root said, handing it to Sameen, “put it on.”

Sameen wrinkled her nose, but uncrossed her arms and took it. “It’s all sweaty.”

“You’re all sweaty,” Root chuckled. “That’s why you’re shivering.”

“I was thinking,” Sameen started, stepping away from the wall and pushing her arms into the jacket, “we should pick a summer constellation.”

“Why?” Root reached out to fix the jacket’s collar, her fingers brushing against Sameen’s neck and the cool metal of her necklace.

Sameen smacked her hands away. “Stop, that feels weird. I’m just saying we always complain when we can’t see Orion, so let’s pick a summer one.”

“Hmm.” Root thought about it for a moment. She spun on her heel and walked away, moving further into the roof. “I like that we have to wait for winter. It’s a guarantee that we’ll be together to see it.”

“We weren’t together last winter,” Sameen said quietly from behind her. Root turned around to see her shrug, face blank. “So, your theory is a little flawed.”

“You’re right,” Root acknowledged, shoving her hands in her pockets. “We weren’t. Well, I wasn’t with you.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Yeah, Yeah, I’m the better girlfriend. We know this. So, summer constellation?”

Root smiled as Sameen steered the conversation away from their break-up. She crossed back across the roof, leaning against the ledge. She looked up at the sky, taking in the constellations she could see. Up on the roof, under the orange lights, it was hard to see anything, but she knew the sky above Bishop by heart.

“How about Capricorn?” Sameen suggested. “We’re both Capricorns.”

Root’s eyebrows drew down. “You’re a Sagittarius…”

“No,” Sameen argued back, “I know that you’re a Capricorn and we’re only a month apart.”

“…Sure.” Root rolled her eyes. “That doesn’t change anything. You’re on the other side of the line. You didn’t make the cut off.”

Sameen threw her hands up and closed the distance between them, leaning next to Root. “You suggest something, then.”

“A Summer constellation?” Root looked at Sameen, her eyes drifting to her mouth and down to her necklace. “Oh! Sagitta!”

Sameen frowned and glanced up at the sky, searching the stars. “That’s near Vulpecula, right? I recognize the name.”

“It’s the Arrow. Like our HAM radio, like you.”

Sameen eyes dropped down to meet Root’s and her head slowly followed. “Like me?”

“Yeah,” Root nodded. She reached out to take Sameen’s hand. “Leading us to the future.”

Sameen shifted her hand, intertwining their fingers and stepping closer. “You’re the one who cares about the future. I’m just keeping an eye on the present.”

Root took a breath to say…something. Maybe she would ask if they were really ok or if Sameen had fully forgiven her. She could say she was sorry again, see if that would help. Her chest hurt, pulling her towards Sameen and begging for an answer.

They’d been doing so well recently; it felt like nothing had ever happened. It almost felt like Root was still pining away and Sameen still seemed unattainable. The constant uncertainty was still familiar. Maybe this summer…Root thought about last year and her certainty that getting together would make her feel grounded. Then, she was sure the roadtrip would bring them closer. Then, the new school year. Now, looking Sameen, surrounded by stars and glowing in the orange light of the roof, she was only certain about one thing.

Root reached out with her free hand, laying it softly on Sameen’s cheek. She smiled. “I love you.”

Despite her frown, Sameen seemed happy. “Yeah, I love you, too. Loser.”

Root kissed her, running her thumb across Sameen’s cheek and humming softly. As she tore herself away, she squeezed Sameen’s hand.

“Ok, let’s go back inside. Prom’s probably over.”

Sameen sighed loudly, pumping her hand in the air. “Thank god. I’m happy for Zoe, but this was the least fun thing we’ve done all year.”

Root just laughed and pulled Sameen along to the staircase. “Just wait until we take to SATs in the fall.”

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Root looked around the gym as they walked back into the room. The band was still playing music even though most of the people had left. She saw Lionel and the girl Sameen had snagged for him on the dance floor, still dancing together. Root smiled, happy for him.

Sameen brushed passed her, heading for Zoe and John. Root followed along behind her, admiring the way her jacket fit Sameen, too tight in the shoulders and too long in the arms. She’d have to make sure Sameen went to a good tailor next year. Maybe Harold would help her like he helped Root this year.

Zoe grinned at them as they got closer. She waved her hand regally, her Prom Queen sash displayed proudly across her chest. Beside her, John held the glittering scepter she’d received. It was dwarfed in his large hands and Root laughed.

“Feel like a princess, John?” she asked, punching his arm.

John grimaced. “I held their purses all night long and then had to hold this wand while Zoe slow-danced with Lambert.”

“Harsh.” Sameen snorted. She nodded to the crown on Zoe’s head. “Congrats.”

Zoe delicately pushed a loose piece of hair from her face. “It’s a total surprise. I didn’t even know I was nominated!”

“Please,” Joss chuckled, appearing beside them, a small potted cactus in her hands, “you ‘accidentally’ brought cookies to lunch every day for the past two weeks.”

“Still,” Zoe shrugged, unaffected, “It’s an honor just to be nominated.”

Joss rolled her eyes and handed the small plant to John. “I have to use the ladies’ room.”

She headed for the door, Zoe trailing after her. Root watched them go for a minute before turning around and heading back to their table. She’d left her phone when they’d gone upstairs and she wanted to check her messages. She’d posted a very cute picture of her and Sameen on Instagram.

Weaving her way through the tables, she glanced over her shoulder to see Sameen and John watching Lionel dance. Sameen was going to miss John next year, Root knew. Even though she assured them all that she would gladly eat the extra food, Sameen had been making an effort to join him at the gym and squeeze in some quality time.

Shaking her head, Root stopped in front of her table and dropped into a chair. Her feet were starting to hurt. She picked up her phone, unlocking it and opened her text messages. There were a couple from Joss asking where’d they disappeared to and one from Hanna.

Root hesitated before opening the message from Hanna. They hadn’t talked much since she left after the holidays. Hanna had been understanding when Root explained the situation, but it was still weird to talk to her knowing how much Sameen hated her. Maybe one day Root could have more than one female friend.

‘Hey! I saw your insta! You two look great! Hope prom was fun! Have a dance for me!’

Her thumbs hesitated over the keyboard, not sure how to respond. She wanted to be friends with Hanna, but…Root didn’t know how to think about her. Was she just an old friend? Was she an ex-girlfriend? An ex-almost?

Sameen dropped into the seat next to her and Root sighed. She handed Sameen her phone, the message open. As she read, the muscles in her jaw clenched and Root wanted to reach out, run her fingers over them.

“Cool.” Sameen tossed the phone onto the table. “Say thanks or something.”

“It’s fine,” Root replied, pulling the phone towards her and locking it again. “I’ll text her later.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table, her body slumped forward. “Text her back, Root. I’m not going to break up with you because you have another friend.”

“It’s not weird?” Root asked nervously. “I don’t want it to be weird.”

“I mean,” Sameen shrugged, “it’s weird. Whatever.”

“Ok, as long as your sure.” Root raised her eyebrows and waited for Sameen to nod.

She opened her phone again, keeping one eye on Sameen. Sameen just rested her head on her arms, her messy hair spilling over the table. Closing her eyes, Sameen sighed loudly, clearly exhausted.

Before Sameen could notice, Root took a picture, capturing her muscular arms and fading lipstick. She looked amazing. Root sent the picture to Hanna with the caption ‘she looks even better 5 hours later!’

Dropping her phone into her pocket, she looked around the gym. They were the only people left. Even the band was starting to pack up. Lionel and his girlfriend were just standing on the dance floor, talking to each other. She found John and the girls standing in a corner, admiring the plant Joss had found.

“Sameen,” Root said softly, reaching out to shake her shoulder. When Sameen opened her eyes, Root smiled at her. “We should go. Dairy Queen closes soon.”

Sameen nodded sleepily, standing. She looked around the room for a moment before whistling loudly.

“Reese’s!” She waved her hand, summoning them. “Let’s roll out. Bring your girls.”

Root laughed as the boys jogged towards her, 'their girls' following at a slower pace. Lionel stopped next to them.

“Can I bring Riley?” Lionel asked, turning to smile at her. “She’s really cool.”

“Sure, Lionel,” Sameen shrugged. “She rides in the girl car, though.”

John frowned from behind Lionel. “Girl car? Why would five of you ride in one car and the two of us in another.”

Root looked meaningfully at Zoe, her eyes glancing over at Riley. “It’s tradition…”

“Tradition?” Zoe repeated, confused. She saw Root nodding towards Riley and gasped. “Oh. Yes! Tradition. Girls to one side, boys to the other.”

“O…K?” Lionel relented. “I guess so.”

Joss smiled at Riley, still holding her plant. “Is that ok with you?”

“Sure!” Riley laughed. “I’d love to meet Lionel’s friends.”

“Great!” Root clapped her hands. “Let’s get out of here!”

The group started for the exit, talking amongst themselves. Root took Sameen’s hand as they walked through the main hallway towards the exit. Sameen was deep in conversation with Joss about some sporting event, but her fingers closed around Root’s.

They all burst out into the warm night air, their voices carrying over the empty school parking lot. Sameen pulled her hand free to jog up to her car. As she pushed the key into the lock, Joss groaned loudly.

“Why is your car so old?” she asked, leaning against the back door. “Aren't you supposed to be a mechanic? Install automatic locks.”

Sameen glared at her as she pulled her door open. She turned to Root and jerked her head across the car. “Get in. These losers can walk.”

Root jogged around the car as Zoe protested.

“Don’t punish me for her words,” Zoe said, following Root around the car. “We’re girlfriends, but we’re not a hivemind. I like RBG.”

Root watched as Sameen unlocked her door from the inside and opened it. Carefully threading her arm behind her seat, she pulled up the lock on the back door. Untangling herself, she climbed into the car, kicking her dress shows off as she closed the door.

“RBG?” Riley asked, scooting into the back seat and unlocking Joss’ side. “What is that?”

Root turned in her seat, watching Joss and Zoe climb into the car, trapping Riley in the center. “RBG is Ruth Bader Ginsberg. Ruth Bader Ginsberg is the name of Sameen’s car.”

“Like the Justice? Nice!” Riley looked around for a seatbelt. “Um, is there a seatbelt for the middle?”

“No,” Joss replied, buckling herself in, “because this car is old as dirt and people who have bucket seats don’t care about safety.”

Sameen started the car, shifted into gear, and headed out of the parking lot. Root waited for her to defend RBG, but instead, her eyes slid to the rearview mirror and narrowed dangerously.

“So,” she started, her voice suspiciously casual, “Riley, is it?”

Root snorted loudly, leaning back in her seat. Apparently, Sameen had decided to play Older Sibling and interrogate Lionel’s new friend.

“Um, Yes?” Riley answered from the back seat. “You’re Sameen.”

“I am,” Sameen agreed, clicking on her turn signal. She rotated the wheel slowly. “How do you know Lionel?”

Root reached out to turn on the air conditioning. The Diary Queen was only 10 minutes from school, but Sameen was driving so slowly, it could take twice as long. She peaked over the back seat to see Zoe and Joss watching Riley with interest.

“We’re in Algebra together. Also, PE. Lionel’s pretty good at sports, you know. He’s so handsome.” Riley sighed dreamily.

Root glanced at Sameen to see her gagging. Now Sameen was understanding how John probably felt when they talked about each other. John had put up with a lot.

“That’s cute!” Zoe laughed, adjusting the crown on her head. “So, you liked him before tonight?”

Riley nodded. “Yeah. I wanted him to ask me to prom. I know we’re both just freshman, but I came with my older sister and I knew he was coming with you all.”

“You could have asked him,” Root countered. She leaned on the arm rest between the front seats. “He probably would have said yes.”

“Oh,” Riley laughed, “No! He’s too cool. I was too nervous.”

“Gross,” Sameen muttered. She sped up, changing her mind about the slow pace.

Joss kicked the back of Sameen’s seat. “Let the girl have a crush! Don’t you want Lionel to have a girlfriend?”

“Whatever,” Sameen scoffed. “Maybe if you two get together, he won’t follow me around as much next year.”

“He told me about your work out routine,” Riley tried. She glanced at Root and Root nodded encouragingly. “I think it’s really awesome that you have a six-pack.”

Root watched as Sameen adjusted herself, sitting straighter in the seat. “I do have a six-pack.”

“It’s pretty nice,” Root said, winking at Riley. “Lionel could get a six-pack, too.”

Riley shrugged. “I like him now. He was so cute when he first moved here. I just wanted to hug him.”

Leaning back in her seat again, Root smiled. She’d never known Sameen without muscles. Well, she did lose them a bit on the roadtrip, but she’d still been strong. Thinking about Sameen as weak was weird. It was like thinking about Sameen as a child, just wrong.

The car jostled as they pulled into the DQ parking lot. Sameen parked next to John’s car and they started climbing out. Root opened her door, breathing in the fresh air and looking around the parking lot. There were more cars than she expected; some of the other kids had found their way here, too.

Sameen appeared at her side, awkwardly twisting an arm around her back, trying to scratch it. Root pulled her arm away and scratched for her. Sameen sighed.

“Would you still love me if I was fat?”

“No,” Root answered. “Definitely not.”

Sameen stepped away from her and turned around. Trying to keep a straight face, Root held back her laughter. After a moment, Sameen rolled her eyes.

“Loser. Come on, I’m starving.”

They joined the group near the entrance to the restaurant. Lionel was apologizing to Riley.

“…if they bothered you,” Lionel was saying nervously. “They’re usually nice.”

Riley just grinned at him. “I liked meeting your sisters, Lionel. It’s cute that they’re so protective.”

“Oh,” Lionel’s eyebrows drew down. “I only have one sister. Just Shaw.”

“I hate to break it to you,” Sameen said, pushing her way through the group to the door. “You have four sisters.”

She pulled the door open, holding it for Root. John clapped Lionel loudly on the back.

“Couldn’t you have been gay, too? Just…so many girls.”

Joss snorted and followed Root inside, her plant carefully cradled in her arms. “Welcome to the rest of your life.”

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Sameen closed her eyes as Root traced the bare skin on her back. They cuddled together in the train. It was too warm to be this close, but Sameen was comfortable and Root smelled like sex and floral shampoo. The train was filled with a soft hum as a fan blew cool air in their direction.

They’d split the bottle of Champagne Sameen had hidden away, and now Sameen’s skin buzzed, making her sleepy. Root hand moved to her side, her nail lightly scratching at Sameen’s hip.

“Did you have fun tonight?” Root asked her, voice raspy with exhaustion.

Sameen nodded, scooting closer to Root and tangling their legs together. She tucked her arms between them, fingers brushing Root’s neck. Root’s breathing was slow and even and if her hands hadn’t still been moving, Sameen might have thought she was sleeping.

“Oh,” Root muttered. “Hold on.”

She started pulling away and Sameen moaned, cracking open an eye. Root smiled at her and slipped out of bed. Moving to stand in front of the glass computer on the wall, Root tapped the screen, bringing it to life. Sameen slowly took Root in, naked and glowing in the lightbulbs hanging from the ceiling.

“Computer,” Root whispered, “Play playlist four.”

A soft song started playing in the train, gentle and relaxing. Sameen rolled onto her back, tearing her eyes from Root’s body and looking around the car for speakers, but she couldn’t find any. She ran her eyes over every visible inch of the metal walls.

“Where is it coming from?”

Root smirked, looking smug. “It’s a secret.”

“Oh god,” Sameen rolled her eyes, raising her arms to push hair from her face. “I’m too tired for nerd games.”

Laughing, Root climbed back into bed, sliding under the sheets. She sat up for a moment, arranging the blankets on her legs. Reaching out, Sameen ran her hand gently over the scar on Root’s back.

“Do you miss her?” Sameen asked softly. “Do you ever go to the house?”

Root stopped fussing with the blankets, but kept her face forward. “Is it bad if I say yes? To both?”

“I don’t know,” Sameen answered honestly. “I can’t understand. Either way.”

Root glanced over her shoulder at Sameen, her face still. “I do miss her. I miss my dad, too, sometimes. I don’t know why. I should hate them. I do hate them.”

Outside the car, cicadas chirped loudly, the sound filling the silence inside. Sameen sat up, leaning against Root, their skin sticking together. She rested her head on Root’s shoulder, not sure what to say.

Sameen missed her parents sometimes, but her parents had been good to her. She didn’t doubt that they loved her. The only time they’d hurt her was when they died, and even then…Sameen was fine. She shifted her head to look at Root.

Tears slowly ran down Root’s face, ruining what was left of her make-up. Slowly, carefully, Sameen wiped them away. She hadn't expected Root to start crying, hadn't expected her to get so emotional. Sameen knew it was a touchy subject, that's why they tried to avoid it, but seeing Root cry so easily...Sameen took a deep breath.

“I don’t have an answer for you, Root. I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Root shrugged, sniffing as she tried to pull herself together. “I know the deal.”

Sameen frowned, not sure how to take that. She decided not to care, instead choosing to slowly push Root down onto the bed. Climbing on top of her, Sameen lowered herself down until most of her weight was on Root.

Dipping down, she traced her lips over Root’s. “I love you. You know that, right?”

Root nodded, their lips brushing together. “I do.”

“Good,” Sameen smirked, flicking her tongue out. “I’ve only got one emotion at a time and it’s usually love for you.”

“Sameen…” Root ran her hands up Sameen’s sides, her hips lifting to press into Sameen. “I love you, too.”

Smirking, Sameen slid a hand over Root’s breast, squeezing. “Prove it.”

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for some sweet summer love?


	46. Ordinary Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick shout out to Hufflepufflovespizza for telling me to get my act together and write a new chapter T_T I didn't realize how long it'd been!
> 
> Feel free to comment on here and tell me to post a new chapter if it's ever more than a week or so. I'll either write one or give you a reason.
> 
> Also, I would appreciate some feedback because I need encouragement <3

Sameen glanced in the rearview mirror and rolled her eyes. Root had stolen her aviators 15 minutes into the drive and she’d been forced to wear the alien sunglasses they’d gotten last summer. She pushed them up her nose and checked her phone. According to the map, they were less than a mile from the apartment.

“There’s the ice cream parlor!” Root pressed her nose to the window. “The burger place I want to try is around the corner and there’s a good looking Chinese place around here, too.”

It had taken almost five hours to get to Houston from Bishop. Normally, the drive was only three and a half hours, but they kept having to stop so Bear and Root could pee. Sameen was looking forward to the summer; they’d brought more books than they could read and more clothing than they could wear.

Turning right, she leaned forward, squinting out the windshield at the street signs. She was looking for St. Joseph street, driving slowly down the one-way street. The area they were driving through looked nice. It was a little far from their internships, but they were right in the middle of Houston, close to the action.

“You know,” Root said, sitting back in her seat, “I don’t think this place has an elevator.”

“What?” Sameen’s hands clenched around the steering wheel. “We have to carry everything up? I would have packed differently if I’d known that.”

Root laughed as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “Sorry, Babe. You’ll have to use those muscles of yours.”

“You’re helping.” Sameen stopped at a stop sign and realized they’d reached St. Joseph st. Beside her, Root was climbing into the backseat. “Watch it! We’re in a city now. Cops will stop us.”

Dropping onto the backseat, Root looked sheepish. “Sorry. You’ll have to educate me in the way of the world. I am but a poor, small town girl.”

Looking at her in the rearview, Sameen rolled her eyes. Root was hugging Bear, her lower lip jutting out in a pout and her eyes wide. She was ridiculous. Turning her attention back to the road, Sameen tried to find their building number.

“It’s four, right? Building four?”

“Yup,” Root confirmed. She ignored Sameen’s warning and crawled over the backseat into the trunk space. “Building four. Apartment 4AF.”

Sameen found the building and pulled into a parking spot. The building looked nice. It was brick, the bottom half painted red and the top half painted a pale tan color, upkept and clean. She turned off the car, unbuckled her seat belt and checked the thermometer stuck to her window.

It was almost 100 degrees - way too hot to be moving boxes. Sighing loudly, she pushed her door open and stepped out into the blazing, June sun. She peeked into the windows as she walked around the car to the trunk. Root was waiting for her at the back door, grinning at her through the window.

Lifting the hatchback door, Sameen glared into the car. “Don’t think you can just grin at me and I’ll let you off. You’re carrying boxes.”

“How about…” Root reached out to hook her fingers into the front of Sameen’s shorts “…you carry boxes and I make it up to you later.”

“Oh no,” Sameen scoffed. “I carried our relationship through your depression, you can carry a box of books.”

Root rolled her eyes and removed her hands. “Alright, Grumpy. We can still make out later, right?”

“Yes, Root.” Sameen smirked. “We can still make out later.”

An hour later, Sameen dropped the last box onto the floor and fell to her knees in front of the door. She ripped her sunglasses off her face blindly threw them somewhere. Their apartment was probably great, but she was too exhausted to notice. Root assured her the view from their fourth floor window was fantastic, but after carrying everything up, Sameen didn’t care.

Root laughed as she closed the door. “You’re so melodramatic! It’s not that hot.”

Glaring over her shoulder, Sameen huffed. “You barely did anything. I’m the one who carried the heavy boxes. You just dragged the suitcases in and then disappeared.”

“I was setting the fans up for you.” Root moved further into the room, stepping around Sameen, her bare feet loud on the wood floors. “Lie there and I’ll turn them on.”

Sameen nodded and lowered herself to the ground, resting her sweaty cheek on the floor. She could feel her tank top sticking to her back, but the cool wood did feel good on her skin. From what she could see, their kitchen was pretty big; counters lined the wall and they had a dishwasher set underneath. Root’s bare legs came into view as she turned on the fans and Sameen ran her eyes over them, admiring the smooth skin.

On the drive up, Root had shown her the apartment’s layout. Sameen had been focused of Root’s legs, stretched up onto the dashboard, her toes flexed to avoid the windshield. They had a queen-sized bed, a tub/shower in their bathroom, and a pull-out couch in the living room. Turning her head over and pressing the other cheek down, Sameen eyed it and wondered if it would be better than the floor. It looked comfortable, which was nice to know for her midnight workouts.

A soft hum filled the room and cold air blew across her back. Rolling over, she winced at the squelching noises her damp legs made against the floor.

“I’m too tired to make out,” Sameen sighed, pushing her hands under her neck and moving her hair away from her skin. “Go on without me.”

“You big baby,” Root joked, coming over to sit down next to her. She crossed her legs, a hand reaching out to touch Sameen’s arm. “We could take a shower and then order Chinese? I’ll buy you egg rolls.”

Groaning softly, Sameen shrugged, her wet shoulders sliding on the wood. A shower was definitely a priority. Maybe she could even convince Root to use cold water. She sat up, her already sore back muscles protesting.

“Alright, but we run the air conditioning, so it’s cold when we get out.”

Root grinned. “Deal. Shower, Chinese, X-Files.”

“Sounds good. Let’s get naked.” She turned to Bear, who was laying in front of the fan. “Sniff around. Familiarize yourself. Scope out weak spots.”

Bear woofed in response, not moving from his position. Sameen glared at him.

“Big softy. I’m going to train you as an attack dog.”

Root laughed and climbed to her feet. “I can’t imagine him being mean. He’s just a puppy!”

“You never know, Root.” Sameen raised her arms, silently asking Root to help her up. “You never know.”

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Sameen held the door open for Root, licking her ice cream cone. Even though it was night, the ice cream had started melting almost immediately. They’d been in Houston for over a week now and they’d come to get ice cream almost every night. Root was obsessed with trying every flavor.

“I’m just saying,” Root said, adjusting her grip on Bear’s leash, “it wouldn’t hurt for you to make some friends.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and let go of the door. Falling into step with Root, she licked ice cream from her fingers as they started down the sidewalk. She’d been having rough time at work. There were so many feelings in a hospital, something Sameen hadn’t considered, and she was having a hard time fitting in.

“We should be making connections,” Root continued, her hair blowing in the slight breeze. “The future is now!”

“I’m trying,” Sameen grumbled. She moved to the edge of the sidewalk, balancing on the curb as she walked along. There were no parking spots in this area, so she wasn’t worried about tipping over into a car. “It’s hard to talk to new people. I’m just not interested.”

Root hummed softly. Glancing at her, Sameen sighed. Being out of Bishop suited Root. She smiled constantly and it seemed like all her stress was gone. Sameen could not relate. Her internship involved people more than medicine and she felt exhausted at the end of every day. She’d never smiled so much in her life.

“We could come up with some small talk topics for you?” Root suggested. “Like…pets and siblings.”

Licking her hand again, Sameen groaned. “I’m not five. I know what small talk is. The hard part is seeming like I care.”

“You do have trouble with that,” Root agreed, biting into her ice cream.

Sameen slid her eyes to Root, not sure how to take that. She stopped balancing on the edge of the sidewalk and walked back to Root. Running her hand down Root’s arm, she linked their hands. Whatever doubts Sameen had about her emotions or their relationship, she always knew that her body wanted Root’s.

Root’s hand was soft in her own and Sameen ate her ice cream slowly. It was Friday night and they had nowhere to be. Root had every weekend off and Sameen happened to have this weekend off, her schedule a little erratic. Most nights she was home early enough to cook dinner, but sometimes, she’d come home to find Root eating Chinese on the couch, Bear staring pathetically up at her.

“A bookstore!” Root gasped, pulling her hand from Sameen’s. “Let’s go in!”

She hurried inside, Bear following her. There was still some ice cream left in her cone, so Sameen hung around outside to finish it. Glancing up at the sign, she noticed the name of the bookstore. ‘Out, Loud, and Proud Houston.’ A rainbow sticker on the door made her shove the last of her ice cream cone into her mouth and head inside.

Of course, Root had managed to find an LGBT bookstore by accident. The store was bigger than it looked from the outside, two stories tall and packed with books. Sameen crossed the small entryway and walked down the first aisle. Her sneakers slapped loudly against the wooden floors and she felt conspicuous in the empty shop.

All the shelves had stickers plastered on them, various band names and gay slogans. Sameen had wandered into the interview section. The sound of Bear’s nails on wood floated towards her and she started towards it when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

“Hello,” a gravely voice said from behind her, “can I help you?”

Sameen turned to see a woman with short, blonde hair and a denim vest. The woman was older than her, probably in her mid-20s and she had more tattoos than Sameen had seen on anyone. Sameen shoved her hands in her pockets.

“I’m alright. Thank you.”

The woman leaned against a shelf and crossed her arms. “Let me guess, you’re still in the closet. It’s alright. A lot of people who come in are.”

Sameen bristled, drawing herself up to her full height. “I’m out. I have been for a while.”

“That’s good,” the woman drawled, her Texas accent thicker than Root’s. “What brings a pretty thing like you into a shop like this?”

“Uh,” Sameen stuttered. No one but Root had ever flirted with her before and she wasn’t sure what to do. “I’m with someone else.”

The woman grinned. “Can I convince you to leave her? We could use someone with your muscles on our team.”

“Team? Like…gay team? I’m already…gay.” She winced. “I mean, um…”

“Sameen! I found the Lesbian Kama Sutra!”

Sighing with relief, Sameen turned around and smiled at Root. Bear’s nails clicked against the wood as they approached her. Root’s eyes slid between Sameen and the bookstore lesbian, her cheeks turning pink.

“Don’t worry,” the blonde woman assured Root, “I suggested the book. It’s pretty good.”

Sameen widened her eyes at Root, silently begging for help. She did not want to be caught between this weird flirting woman and Root with a sex book. Root shrugged awkwardly.

“What were you two talking about?”

Looking back at the woman, Sameen rolled her eyes. The woman was winking at Root, apparently unable to control herself.

“I was trying to get your girlfriend here to join our Softball team.”

“You were?” Sameen asked, confused. “I thought you were flirting with me.”

“Oh, I was,” the woman confirmed, nodding. She stretched her hand out. “I’m Jessica.”

Sameen shook her hand, dropping it quickly and moving to stand next to Root. “I’m Sameen.”

“Root,” Root offered her own hand, shaking Jessica’s. “Softball team?”

Jessica nodded. “There’s a league in town. We’re the only lgbt team, but we do alright. We’re looking for a strong hitter. I’ll be at the front desk.” She wandered away, leaving them alone.

Sameen scratched her nose. She could use a summer sport besides working out. Turning to look at Root, she shrugged.

“Could be fun, right?”

Root nodded, smiling. “You should do it! Maybe it’ll tire you out enough for a full night’s sleep.”

Sameen’s eyes tightened, and her stomach clenched. It wasn’t excess energy keeping her awake at night. Instead of saying that, though, she just tried to smile and took the book from Root’s hands.

“Are you going to buy this?” she asked, paging through it. “I’d be down.”

“Oh,” Root started, smirking, “you’ll go down, alright.”

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Root stared up at the large black painting, trying to differentiate all the different blacks. There was something about staring into a giant black canvas in the middle of a church that made her feel odd inside. It felt liminal, like Root could fall into this picture and end up somewhere else. The Rothko Chapel was almost silent, the only sounds the rustle of pillows on the floor and the soft patter of Sameen’s shoes as she paced around.

Today was their art day. Three weeks into the summer and they were finally getting around to some art museums. Technically, the Rothko Chapel wasn’t a museum, but it had large pieces of art in it and so they were counting it. The large black painting loomed above Root and she felt very small.

It had been so long since she’d been in a church. Easter when she was eight or nine was probably the last time she’d gone to a mass. Root didn’t really like the concept of God. Sure, it was incredible to thing about the vastness of the universe, but she hated the idea that someone could control her. Even though the future was scary and empty and unknown, Root would rather face it alone than have someone be in charge of her.

After a moment, she gave up trying to see all the colors and turned on her heel to look into the chapel. A class had finished just before they came and there were still a few people sitting on the pillows in the center, staring up at the cross. Sameen was sitting on a bench, finger swiping over her phone.

“Hey,” Root whispered, walking over to her, “you ready to go?”

Sameen nodded, standing and shoving her phone into her pocket. Root knew for a fact that Sameen had packed a lot of clothing, but most of the summer had been spent in her jean shorts and various tank tops. Root didn’t really mind, though; she loved Sameen’s arms and the thin sheen of sweat that formed on her back whenever they went outside.

Sameen pushed the door open in front of her and led them back outside. The hot air hit Root like a wet blanket and she grimaced.

“Where to next? We already did Cy Twombly and the maze garden.”

Lifting her hair with her hands, Sameen scrunched her nose. “Home? I’m boiling out here.”

Root shrugged. “Sure.”

They started for Ruthie, parked a couple blocks away. Sameen had wanted to drive her car to the museums, but Root convinced her to take the Vespa. It felt nice to have the wind whip through their hair as they drove through the city. Root pushed her hands into her pockets.

“Hey, Sameen?”

“Yeah?” Sameen stopped briefly to scratch her shin. “What?”

Root kicked a rock on the ground. “Do you believe in God?”

Sameen sniffed loudly, and resumed walking. She pulled the hair tie from the end of her braid. “Maybe? I don’t really care enough to believe one way or the other.”

“That’s fair. I was just wondering.”

“I think,” Sameen started as she ran her fingers through her hair, “that the universe is enough. I don’t need someone to give me a moral code and, in terms of believing in something greater, the stars are fine.”

Root took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah. I feel the same. I feel small enough in space without needing man in the sky.”

“What if…the man in the sky…was an alien? Or a unicorn?” Sameen asked, her eyes twinkling.

They stopped next to Ruthie and Root laughed. “If God was a unicorn, maybe I’d believe in her.”

“Very clever,” Sameen snorted. She rebraided hair while Root swung her leg over the scooter. “I used to go to church with my parents. Before my dad died. I think my mom stopped believing after that.”

“I went long enough to get my first communion.” Root turned the key in the engine. “I just wanted to eat the bread.”

“Of course,” Sameen chuckled, rolling her eyes while she tied off her braid. “You’re such a weirdo.”

Root held out Sameen’s helmet and grinned. “I’m your weirdo.”

Sameen took the helmet and climbed onto the back of the scooter. “For now.”

Laughing, Root buckled her helmet. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, Sameen. You’re stuck to me.”

Strong arms wrapped around her waist and Root leaned back into Sameen’s embrace. It was almost too hot to be this close, but Root was happy to sweat. When Sameen’s arms were around her, Root didn’t feel like she was flying apart. She felt grounded and stable and permanent.

Behind her, Sameen leaned her head against Root’s shoulders. “There are worse places to be stuck.”

Root smiled softly and hit the gas, taking them home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hold on, Ernie, it's gonna be a BUMPY RIDE


	47. Fight for Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Bet you weren't expecting another chapter so soon!
> 
> Mini-Spoiler  
> (This chapter is sad as hell and also a little sexy)

Sameen jolted awake, gasping for breath. She pushed her hair away from her face, trying to calm down. Bear perked his head up, his ears sticking up as he tilted his head. Her breathing eased as she became aware of her surroundings.

Another nightmare. The image of Root played back in her head and she sucked in air. The sheets rustled beside her. Sameen looked down to see Root sleeping, curled into a ball, her face scrunched into a frown.

Reaching out gently, Sameen ran a thumb over Root’s forehead, smoothing it out. She could feel sweat dripping down her back and sighed. It would be better for them if she stayed in bed, but now she needed another shower; the sweat on her face stung her eyes.

As quietly as possible, Sameen climbed out of bed, the cotton sheets sticking to her bare skin. Her footsteps echoed in the bedroom as she crossed to the dresser. It was obvious, even to her, that Root got upset when she left. Root wanted them to be together forever, but Sameen didn’t know what that meant anymore.

Did forever mean as long as they love each other? Did it mean until Root got depressed again? Until Sameen faded away? The nightmare replayed in her head and Sameen wiped a hand across her forehead. She was the fittest she’d ever been; her late night work-outs were doing wonders for her muscles.

Sliding open her drawer, she pulled out her workout clothes and a clean pair of underwear from another.

“Sameen?”

Sameen turned around to see Root lifting herself up with one arm. Her other hand came up to rub her eyes. Root looked like an angel. Her bare shoulders glowed in the light coming in from the street. She stared at Sameen across the room.

“Come back to bed,” Root said, her voice rough with sleep, “please.”

Sameen’s stomach clenched and she shook her head. “No.”

She wanted to talk to Root and tell her what she was feeling, but she didn’t. Instead, she just shoved it down and tried to forget about it. It was one benefit of feeling nothing. Sameen remembered the hot summer night when she kissed Root in the treehouse and let her face drop into its neutral mask.

Root watched her for a moment before dropping down onto the bed. She rolled over, her back to Sameen. Eventually, they’d talk about it. Sameen pushed her drawers shut and headed for the shower.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root adjusted the computer pieces spread on the floor in front of her. It was Saturday and she’d spent the entire day at home with Bear, trying to catalogue the spare pieces she’d brought along. Her computer could use some updating, but she wasn’t sure she had everything she needed.

Sameen was at work, probably angrily holding back insults. The doctor that oversaw her internship was rude to her and Sameen’s patience was running thin. Root looked around her for her cellphone and realized just how big of a mess she’d made.

Sighing, she climbed to her feet. She needed to clean up before Sameen got home. Things had been a little rocky lately. Nothing big, nothing obvious, but Root could feel it. Looking around for her phone, Root crossed her arms.

She remembered the last time she’d felt like something was wrong. Sameen was dating Tomas and Root just knew their relationship had changed. Now, it just felt like everything was in the air. They’d never fully talked about Root’s breakdown, not really. Mostly, they just agreed not to talk about it and tried to move on.

It wasn’t working. Sameen still left the bed every night and, in the morning, Root found her asleep on the couch, sweating like she had a fever. At this point, she wondered why Sameen even pretended to fall asleep with her.

It had started after their camping trip. They’d spent the whole trip pressed together in their tent, but when they’d gotten home…Root pushed her hair out of her face and stared down at Bear. Well, Sameen wasn’t the only one who had trouble sleeping.

Root still felt restless. Whatever stability she’d found over last summer was gone and it felt like she was 15 again, standing next a train, screaming into the night. Maybe Sameen shouldn’t have tried so hard if this is where they ended up – Together only because it was what they were used to.

It was just hard, to be cheerful about the future. Root spent all of her time checking what she said and trying to be normal. Every time she got on her motor scooter, or on a bus, or on her bike, Root wondered what would happen if she just…kept going. If she just left Bishop behind, left…everyone behind.

She could make a life for herself somewhere else. Fake a birth certificate and find a job doing code or something. Would Sameen follow her? Again? Was being physically absent any different from being emotionally absent?

Root realized her eyes were watering and she reached up to wipe them away. She loved Sameen, more than anything else in the entire world, but sometimes she wondered if it was just because they’d found each other when they were young. Would they have fallen in love under different circumstances? Would Sameen still love her in ten years? Five years? Tomorrow?

The front door bumped against the doorway and Root jumped. Sameen was home and she hadn’t cleaned anything up. Quickly kneeling to try and make some room on the floor, she shoved everything together, ready to pretend like she hadn’t been crying.

“Bear,” Root commanded, “bedroom.” She watched Bear trot off into the bedroom and hop onto their bed.

Sameen stomped into the apartment, her backpack clenched in a fist at her side. Root watched her take in the apartment. The muscles in Sameen’s jaw twitched and Root knew she was probably pissed at the mess. Root hadn’t done a great job of cleaning up this summer. She did dishes, but that was about it. Sameen took care of most of it.

After a long drag around the room, Sameen’s eyes finally landed on Root’s face. She took in Root’s watery eyes, but her face didn’t change at all. Her neutral mask betrayed nothing, but the hair on Root’s arms rose. The blue scrubs Sameen had to wear to the hospital were rumpled.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Sameen hissed. She slammed her bag onto the ground and Root jumped at the clatter. “You were home all day and you make a huge mess? Do you expect me to clean it up?”

“I lost track of time,” Root apologized. She tried to sweep the circuitry into a pile with her hands. “I started to clean, but I got distracted.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, her whole body vibrating with anger. “Of course you did. You can’t keep a thought in your head long enough to finish a task.”

Root’s stomach tensed and she climbed to her feet. The comment had come out of nowhere. “Excuse me? I’m sorry I didn’t clean up, but that was uncalled for. You don’t have to be mean.”

“You’re right.” Sameen shrugged and met Root’s eyes again. “It’s not your fault that no one raised you. I can’t expect you to have any manners.”

What little control Root had scrapped together vanished and her eyes watered again. What was wrong with Sameen? She swallowed hard, crossing her arms defensively.

“We can’t all come from happy families. Some of us have had actual trauma.”

“I was with my father when he was killed, Root. That’s trauma.”

Turning on her heel, Root took a few steps away, trying to calm down. Sameen had never been mean to her before, not like this. Tomas counted, of course, but Root had almost forgiven her for that. This was something else and Root didn’t know how to handle it. She was already feeling unsteady and this wasn’t helping. It wasn’t like Sameen really got sad.

“Your dad isn’t even dead,” Sameen spat out from behind her. “Neither is your mom actually.”

Root spun around, her face twisting in rage. “You don’t get to talk about my mom. Not after what you did.”

“I saved your life!” Sameen countered, her neck turning red. “You would be dead if it wasn’t for me.”

“I asked you not to call the police and you did it anyway! You knew what would happen!”

Sameen scoffed, her sweaty hair dangling from her messy braid. “No. I didn’t. All I knew was that your mother was a drunk and a little homophobic. Sure, she threw a chair at you once, but that was years ago and you really played it down. You never, never, told me the full story and you can’t blame me for being worried about you!”

“The ‘full story’?” Root said, her fingers forming air quotes. Her face felt hot, but she couldn’t calm down. “What was your childhood like, Sameen? Did you get in fights before you came to Bishop? Why do you exercise so much? How…” Her voice cracked and she felt her chin tremble. “How can you see me crying and still be so mean?”

Looking away, Sameen didn’t answer for a moment. Root barked out a wet laugh and turned away, pressing her hands to her face. They’d been doing so well. The little jabs and empty beds didn’t feel so terrible now. Root would trade anything to go back to that. What was happening?

Sameen finally spoke, her low voice loud in the silent apartment. “We don’t have to tell each other everything.”

Root sighed loudly. She didn’t turn around. “I’m aware. I remember Tomas.”

There was a loud thud and Root peeked over her shoulder to see Sameen’s fist pressed against the wall. She’d punched it. Hating herself for worrying about Sameen’s hand, Root looked away again.

“You’re still mad about him.” It wasn’t a question. “Two years later and you can’t forgive me. Yes, I lied to you, but I had some issues to work out and I broke up with him. I haven’t talked to him since.”

“Good.”

Sameen growled. “You have no room to talk. You went back to Hanna the first chance you could.”

That made Root turn around, her eyebrows raised in surprise. “I explained Hanna and I never lied to you. You knew what was happening.”

“You’re right,” Sameen replied, snarling. “It’s so much better to watch the person you love with someone else when you know it’s happening.”

“That’s what you did with Tomas. Besides, I explained Hanna and you said you were fine that I still talked to her.”

Sameen threw her hands in the air. “I lied. Does that make you happy? I lied to you again. I hate that you still talk to her. What if you realize that you still like her? What if you decide to go back to your first choice?”

Root’s mouth dropped open. “Hanna isn’t my first choice, Sameen. You are.”

“It didn’t feel like that last December. It felt like your true love had returned and I’d been…been cast aside like trash. Hanna was back and you didn’t need me to make you feel loveable anymore.”

Root’s heart beat loud in her chest, blood rushing through her ears. That’s what Sameen thought? That Root was only keeping her around as a trophy? To make herself feel better? Root had gone back to Hanna because…Well, because she wasn’t Sameen.

“I don’t…” Root shook her head. “I don’t like you because you make me feel loveable. I like you – I love you because of who you are.”

“A mean bitch with no emotions.” Sameen glared at her. She was still rooted in her spot by the front door. “Why didn’t you make a move?”

“What?” Root took a shaky breath. Sameen was all over the place and Root couldn’t hold on to a single thought. “When?”

“Before we started dating. We were friends for a year before we kissed in the treehouse. You could have told me you liked me at any time.”

“I didn’t know you liked girls!” Root cried, her hands clenching and unclenching at her sides. “What if you didn’t like me back? What if it ruined our friendship? What if-“

“Oh, stop it.” Sameen rolled her eyes. She was breathing hard, Root realized. This argument was affecting her, too. “I admitted that I knew you liked me. You had to have noticed, too. I get that you were scared, but at some point, you have to own up to your actions.”

Root slowly walked in a circle. It felt good to be talking, really talking, not giving each other empty platitudes. Maybe they’d actually talk about these issues; maybe they’d call it quits and go back to Bishop and never talk to each other again.

“You want to talk about owning up to your actions?” Root took a deep breath and met Sameen’s eyes. “Why do you leave me at night? Where do you go? What do you do? What is so wrong with me that you can’t bear to lie next to me?”

Sameen didn’t answer. They stared at each other across the living room. Root’s blood was pumping in her head so loudly that she couldn’t hear anything else. Sameen’s chest rose and fell, panting with anger.

It hurt. Root hurt. Her chest felt heavy, like she couldn’t breathe, like she was going to melt. Hot tears slid down her face, burning her eyes. There had to be something more than this. More than wanting more. Root didn’t know what to do about her loneliness, about the constant tug in her chest pulling her towards Sameen, towards the future.

Maybe, if she was like Sameen, if she could shut herself down, it would all be better. Did Sameen ever feel exhausted like this? Did she ever feel heavy enough to sink to the bottom of the ocean and never come up again? Root reached up to wipe her eyes, feeling small and stupid. Sameen wasn’t crying.

Her hands still over her eyes, Root heard Sameen draw a shaky breath.

“I’ve been having nightmares.”

Dropping her arms, Root just looked at Sameen. The love of her life looked like a statue, frozen and emotionless. Sameen’s eyelashes flickered, betraying her nerves.

“Ever since the camping trip, I can’t get the image of you covered in blood out of my head.” She drew a shaking hand over her hair, uselessly trying to smooth it down. “I…It always starts the same. We just got back from the roadtrip. We go through your house and I can smell it like I’m actually there. Your mom hits you, but…”

She faltered and looked away. Her fingers plucked at the cotton of her scrub pants and Root wondered if she’d ever been this nervous before. She wondered if Sameen knew how important this conversation was.

“What?” Root asked quietly. Her shoulders felt weighted down. “But what?”

“But she kills you,” Sameen finished. “She kills you and it’s my fault. I killed you.” Her eyes flicked to Root’s face and then away again. “Then it changes and I’m outside of the treehouse, knocking on the door. You don’t answer, so I go inside…and…” She closed her eyes, shaking her head, her lips pinched shut.

Root started to understand where this was going. Sameen felt like Root did - out of control and desperate for something she can’t explain. It must be terrifying for Sameen, to have all this emotion, but be incapable of processing it. Root softened slightly, remember how terrifying it was to like Sameen and not know what to do.

“It usually continues for a while,” Sameen sighed. “I’m in Bishop, but there’s no one else. We’re older and you disappear for years. I just lose you over and over and…I wake up. There you are beside me in bed and I can’t stand it. It’s not you.”

The fight drained out of Root and she just nodded. She wanted to say something comforting, to help Sameen feel better, but there was nothing to say. Root just didn’t know what to do. Sameen had finally opened up to her and she just didn’t have the energy to say something nice. Maybe it was just time to be honest.

Slowly, she made her way to the couch and dropped on to it. She looked at Sameen, who look tired now. Tired and sad and small.

“Sometimes,” Root started, “I’m afraid that you aren’t enough. I want so many things, but I don’t know what they are and I don’t know how to go after them. I’m afraid that I’m going to wake up someday and…need something more.”

Sameen stepped out of her shoes, kicking them away. She peeled her socks off and tossed them aside. Her face was blank when she looked at Root again, but it wasn’t her normal mask. Root took in her neutral expression and couldn’t understand it. Sameen’s big brown eyes blinked slowly at her.

“I don’t…” Root pulled her feet onto the couch, hugging her legs. “I don’t know what to say, Sameen. I may have more experience with emotions, but I don’t know anything more about relationships than you do. I don’t want to break up or fight anymore. I just want to be happy with you. Stargaze and swim and look forward to college.”

Sighing, Sameen walked across the room, sitting down on the couch, as far from Root as she could get. She stared down at her hands.

“I need to know that you aren’t going to disappear again.” Sameen balled her hands into fists. “I need to know that you really want me and we’re not just together for convenience. If you meet another girl, when we’re older and living some place else, how do I know that you won’t just move on?”

“It’s kind of funny,” Root laughed humorlessly, wiping her face again, “I thought you would be the one who left. I used to think you’d just lose interest and fade away, but I’m the one we’re worried about.”

Sameen shrugged, the corner of her mouth quirking up. “It could still happen. Don’t overestimate me.”

“Yeah.” Root shook her head. Their fight played back in her head and she winced. “I don’t really blame you.” She looked at Sameen, her hair tumbling over her shoulders. “For my mom. I know you did the right thing. I just miss it sometimes – my old life. It was awful, but it was safe. Nothing tied me down or held me back.”

“I hold you back.” Sameen looked at Root, her hands still clenched into fists. “We spend a couple of months apart and you turn an empty train car into a computer system.”

“Maybe,” Root offered, “we could set some time aside. To work on personal things. I could work on my projects and you could…I don’t know, fit in more work outs?”

Sameen laughed, running a hand over her face. “I could study for med school or try and learn code or something. Maybe catch up to you?”

Root smiled, breathing a little easier. “I’d like that.”

“I suppose,” Sameen sniffed, her head tilting, “I could tell you when I’m having nightmares.”

“I’d like that.” Root reached out and put her hand on Sameen’s fist. “I’ll stop texting Hanna.”

Sameen opened her hand. Their palms stuck together, sweaty from the heat and the argument. Root watched their fingers intertwine, sliding against each other until they were comfortable. Sameen’s grip on her hand was slightly painful, but it felt good.

“I won’t ever lie to you again or hide anything from you,” Sameen offered. “I’ll do my best.”

Root blinked, her eyes welling up again. “Sometimes, I get lonely,” she rasped, her voice thick. “It’s not lonely, not like – I don’t miss someone or anything. It’s like…”

She turned to fully face Sameen on the couch. Sameen’s eyes were dark and open and Root didn’t know how to explain the weight in her chest to anyone, much less someone who couldn’t relate.

“It’s like when you’re underwater and it’s dark. Everything is muffled and you can’t tell where you are in relation to the air. Part of you wants to just stay there and let it drag you down forever, but you know that if you let it, you’ll never be happy.”

Sameen blinked slowly. She raised her hand to Root’s cheek and Root couldn’t stop herself from leaning into the touch. Softly, Sameen’s thumb brushed away Root’s tears and it made Root cry harder.

“If there’s one thing I can relate to, it’s emptiness.” Sameen took a long breath. “It’s tempting to just live there, in the empty place. You taught me, though, that there’s a whole world out there, just waiting to be discovered. I don’t think you could let yourself go, Root. There’s too much you don’t know yet.”

Root let out a breath, desperate to let Sameen reassure her. “What if I wake up one day and I just want to go somewhere else? Or be someone else?”

“Well,” Sameen said thoughtfully, pulling her hand away from Root’s face, “as long as it’s after med school, then that’s fine. Doctors are needed everywhere. If you want to be someone else…I guess as long as you still like women, it’s fine, right? I’ll change my name, too.”

That made Root laugh, the pressure in her chest finally dissipating. Sameen looked so earnest and beautiful. Root believed her. Really believed that Sameen was willing to follow her anywhere. She didn’t want Sameen to have to chase her across the universe, but it was nice to know she would.

Root tried to think of something else to offer, something else to promise Sameen. “I’m glad we had this fight or talk or whatever. I think we needed to say all that. I know we haven’t sorted it all out, but we have somewhere to start.”

“Me too. I’m sorry for being so mean. It was just a bad day and this place is a mess.”

“I will clean it,” Root promised. “I started to, but I started thinking about how tense our relationship was and I got distracted.”

Sameen grimaced. “It’s been a little rough, yeah. Prom was nice, though, even if you did text Hanna and I did leave after you fell asleep.”

“Well, neither of those things will happen again.” Root smiled. “I’ll delete her contact and if you have nightmares, you can wake me up and I’ll talk to you until you can sleep again.”

Rolling her eyes, Sameen scratched her nose. “I don’t like being vulnerable like this. I’m almost 18! I should be independent.”

“You can be tough with everyone else. I won’t tell.”

“I haven’t told you why I was so mad earlier.”

Root frowned. “You said it was a bad day.”

“Yeah,” Sameen huffed, “It was. My boss pulled me aside to talk to me about how I dealt with patients. Well, I talk to families mostly and point them in the right direction, but still. We all know that human interaction is not my strong suit.”

“That is true,” Root chuckled. “What did he say?”

“He told me,” Sameen said through gritted teeth, “that I could never be a doctor because I can’t empathize with people. It doesn’t just take medical knowledge and technique to be successful; you have to be able to communicate appropriately.”

Root let that sink in. Sameen had already been doubting their relationship. She was worried that she wasn’t enough for Root or that Root liked Hanna more. Having a doctor tell her she’d never succeed probably pushed her over the edge.

Sameen tapped on Root’s forehead. “Hello? Stop analyzing. I get it – The doctor was the final straw in a long line of stressors. That, coupled with the mess of the apartment, led me to overreact, blah blah blah.”

Sameen’s braid hung over her shoulder, her hair curling in the humid summer air. Somehow, despite working indoors, Sameen had managed to tan and her skin glowed in the orange light of the setting sun that streamed in through the windows. Root ran her eyes over Sameen’s strong jaw and sighed.

Reaching out with her free hand, Root pulled the hair tie from Sameen’s hair. “Turn around.”

Sameen released Root’s hand and turned around, crossing her legs in front of her on the couch. Slowly, carefully, Root took Sameen’s hair in her hands. The braid came apart easily and Root methodically untwisted it. When her fingers brushed Sameen’s neck, she sighed.

“I like that you can keep still,” Root said quietly, digging her fingers into Sameen’s hair, lightly scratching her skull. “You’re always steady.”

Sameen’s shoulders relaxed slightly and she leaned her head back to give Root a better angle. “I like that you’re always moving and ready to go.”

They sat like that for a few minutes, Root running her fingers through Sameen’s hair and Sameen staring into the distance. The wind blew against the windows as the sun set, casting the room into shadow. When it was too dark to see, and Sameen’s hair was thoroughly brushed, Root slid off the couch and onto her feet.

“Come on.” She offered a hand down to Sameen, smiling when she took it. “I miss you.”

Sameen nodded and let Root lead her into the bedroom. Their footsteps were loud against the wood floors as they crossed the room. Bear perked up when they got to the bed, his tongue hanging out of his mouth. Dropping Root’s hand, Sameen leaned down to pet him, rubbing her nose on the top her his head.

Root unbuckled her jeans, the fabric rough on her fingers. She undressed quickly, watching Sameen press her face into Bear’s fur, her eyes closed. Standing naked beside the bed, Root waited for Sameen to look at her, not in any rush. They had time, so much time, and Root was willing to spend the rest of her life convincing Sameen that they were alright.

Straightening up, Sameen pushed Bear off the bed and out of the room. She closed the door behind him and turned around, looking at Root with tired eyes. Her gaze crept down Root’s body, lingering and soft.

“It’s been a while since I just looked at you,” Sameen whispered, her long hair hanging to her waist. “I like the way you look. I’ve always liked the way you looked.”

“Really?” Root asked shyly. She ran a hand over her stomach. “I think you’re the good looking one.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Please. I’ve just got muscles and boobs.” She bit her lower lip. “You’re breathtaking.”

It made Root’s heart pound to hear Sameen say she was breathtaking. Root had always thought she was too skinny or too gangly or too awkward. Crossing to Sameen, Root smiled and rested her hands on the door on either side of Sameen, closing the distance between them.

Her head dipped down and Sameen’s tilted up to meet it. Root brushed her lips over Sameen’s, marveling at the texture and the way the lightest touch sent tingles down her spine. Sameen’s tongue ran over Root’s lip and she finally pressed their lips together, their mouths locking together like they had a hundred times before.

Sameen’s hands ran over her bare stomach and over Root’s back. Root’s breath hitched and she took Sameen’s face in her hands, trying to restrain herself. She didn’t want to hurry this, didn’t want it to be fast and panicked and violent. She wanted Sameen to know Root loved her, forever. Her hands pushed into Sameen’s hair.

Root gasped for breath, her bottom lip caught between Sameen’s teeth and her skin burning. The hands on her back pressed her closer and she cracked her eyes open, desperate to look at Sameen, trapped between Root’s body and the door.

“I want to see you, too,” Root breathed, stepping away. Her blood rushed through her body as she watched Sameen’s eyes blink open, her mouth swollen from kisses. “Can I see you?”

Nodding, Sameen started to pull her shirt off, but Root stopped her hands, taking over. She carefully lifted the shirt over Sameen’s head, watching the way her hair tumbled back down in messy waves. Tossing the shirt away, Root dragged her eyes over Sameen’s chest wondering how she ever got so lucky.

She touched her fingers to Sameen’s stomach nervously, afraid Sameen would shatter if she applied too much pressure. Sameen was precious and beautiful and strong and Root couldn’t believe she was allowed to be this close to her. When Sameen stepped forward to give Root space, she unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor.

“I think you’re perfect,” Root said, staring into Sameen’s eyes, hoping her sincerity was clear. “Even when you don’t understand or when you’re only rough edges, I think you’re perfect. You’re the truest person I’ve ever met.”

Sameen swallowed hard, her eyes flicking between Root’s eyes. “Even when I’m mean? Or numb?”

“Even then.”

Root surged forward, locking their mouths together, wrapping her arms around Sameen’s shoulders. Their bare chests pressed together and Root wanted to scream. Every nerve in her body was crying out to be touched. Sameen’s strong arms around her, forcing them as close as possible, made her desperate for more.

She tilted her head, their noses bumping against each other, trying to breath Sameen in. When they kissed, all of Root’s worries disappeared. How could she ever grow tired of this? How could anyone else make her feel like she was falling and flying at the same time? Sameen moaned into her mouth and Root almost started crying.

Tearing herself away, Root dropped to her knees, pulling Sameen’s pants and underwear to the ground, holding them while she stepped out. Reverentially, like she was kneeling in front of an angel, Root kissed Sameen’s thighs. Slowly and deliberately, she dragged her lips up to Sameen’s hips, running them over her hip bones, while Sameen’s stomach quivered above her.

She could hear Sameen taking shallow breaths, could feel her body trembling.

“Root,” Sameen panted, “Let’s move to the bed.”

Root nodded and stood, making sure their bodies brushed together. Sameen’s pupils were wide as she stared up at Root. Seeing Sameen affected like this gave Root confidence. They loved each other. They were connected. Root wasn’t making this up in her head. She hoped Sameen could see the same in her face.

Root crawled onto the queen-sized bed, the soft cotton sheets cool against her hot skin. Sameen got into bed next to her and Root pushed her down, throwing a leg over her hips. She wanted Sameen to feel loved and important. Root wanted to worship her.

Kissing Sameen again, Root sucked in a breath through her nose, her fingers curling in the sheets as her knees pressed against Sameen’s hips. She remembered the way Sameen used to look at her in PE class, her blank stare threatening. It had changed into something friendly and then something more. Root dragged her lips down Sameen’s jaw, gently nipping at her throat.

“I like it when you’re protective,” Root muttered into Sameen’s neck. She pressed wet kisses along Sameen’s collarbone. “I like when you punch people for me.”

Sameen chuckled, her breath shaky. Her nails scrapped along Root’s sides, not quite painful.

“I like protecting you. It makes me feel strong.”

Root hummed into Sameen’s chest, adjusting herself lower. “You are strong. So strong. You could lift a car.”

Laughing, Sameen, dug her nails into Root’s sides. “Thanks, babe.”

“Anytime.”

Root scrapped her teeth along Sameen’s stomach, resisting the urge to bite down. Sameen was not going to bleed today. Her tongue left a wet line on Sameen’s shaking stomach as she licked her way up to Sameen’s breast. One hand keeping her up, Root moved the other to Sameen’s chest.

Gasping as Root ran her fingers over her breasts, Sameen moved her legs, the sheets rustling.

“I like…” Sameen stuttered, stopping to swallow. Her eyes were clenched shut. “I like when you teach me new things. I like that you can look up at space and see order instead of emptiness.”

Root bit Sameen’s nipple lightly, her hand mirroring her action. Sameen was the order in Root’s life, the compass directing her choices. Root could be stuck in a cage forever and never feel trapped if she had someone like that with her.

“I would do anything for you,” Root said into Sameen’s chest, her voice full of conviction. “I would do absolutely anything.”

It was funny, Root thought, Sameen’s mute symbol tattoo. When Root was this close, Sameen’s heart was anything, but quiet. Their hearts pounded in rhythm. She pressed a kiss over the tattoo and shifted her weight, moving so her legs were straddling one of Sameen’s thighs, their eyes level. Root just looked at Sameen, at her fluttering eyes, at her parted lips, at her flushed cheeks. She needed Sameen to understand.

“Sameen.” Her name was like a prayer in Root’s mouth. “Sameen.” Root pressed her thigh against Sameen’s wet center, drinking in the way Sameen sucked in a rasping breath. “Sameen.” Root took Sameen’s face in her sweaty palm, her thumb tracing Sameen’s cheekbone. “Sameen.”

She slid her hand down Sameen’s chest, over her stomach, and down between her legs. Sameen started up at her with wide eyes, never leaving Root’s face. A tear leaked from her eye, racing down the side of her face and disappearing in her hair. Sameen licked her lips.

“Root.”

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Hours later, after Sameen had cooked dinner and Root had cleaned the apartment, they climbed the fire escape to the roof to look at the stars. Sameen kicked her heels against the edge of the building, her arms resting on the metal railing. Houston was a bright city, much brighter than Bishop, and they couldn’t see as many stars.

She turned her head to look at Root. Root was resting her hand on her arms, leaning on the railing, her eyes fixed to the sky. Sameen was glad they’d finally talked. It didn’t feel so weird to be together, just sitting, just being. 

Sameen felt bad for yelling at Root, but she had been so mad. That stuck-up, son of a bitch at the hospital had called her out in front of everyone. He’d confirmed what she’d always thought – she had a problem. A disorder.

“We should design a tattoo,” Sameen joked, “Something with two axes.”

Root chuckled and dropped her arms into her lap, looking at Sameen. “Maybe a compass? Or a map?”

“Yeah.” Sameen stopped kicking her legs. “Axis II Personality Disorder.”

“You’re so fancy,” Root said, batting her eyelashes. “The rest of us only have one Axis.”

Sameen punched Root in the arm. “That’s not how it works, loser.”

“Well, you have to teach me! I want to know all about it.”

“I’ll tell you later.” Sameen sighed. “That can be my first project when school starts again – Learn about myself.”

Root scooted backwards, away from the edge. Crawling closer, she wrapped her arms around Sameen’s shoulders. “I love you, my emotionally-impaired sweetheart.”

“I’m looking forward to the rest of the summer. It’ll be fun now that the air is clear.”

Root laid down, her head in Sameen’s lap. She stared up into Sameen’s eyes. “We have Dallas Pride in a couple weeks and then visiting the Reese-Carter-Morgan household.”

Sameen laughed. “That name is too long. They’re going to have to pick one.”

“Probably,” Root agreed.

Softly, Sameen ran her hand over Root’s hair. “I don’t think we need all of the answers right now.”

“About the Reese-Carter-Morgans?”

“No.” Sameen rolled her eyes. “About us and the future. I think it’s ok if we just live our lives and do our best.”

Root didn’t answer and Sameen dropped her head back, feeling the cool night air blow across her. It was going to be a good summer, what was left of it anyway, and a good senior year. Root would be captain of the science bowl team. Sameen would be captain of the soccer team. They’d take their SATs and apply to colleges. It would be good. Maybe Sameen would even let Root take her ghost hunting again.

“I know we’re both aware that we might break-up someday, but I want you to know that I love you more than anything else in the universe.”

Sameen looked down at Root, her chest tight. She associated this weird feeling with large declarations of love and she wasn’t sure if it was happiness or stress. It was starting to feel like happiness.

“I love you, too, Root.” Sameen looked out over the city. “Are you ready for bed? I think I’m going to get a full night’s sleep tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow so sad
> 
> Anyway, Who's excited for Pride?? Also, a little unexpected guest!


	48. Friday (I'm in Love)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to c.strucker for messaging me and reminding me to post!
> 
> I'd say we've got about...10? chapters left. That's flexible, but it's around there! Wow, we've come so far! 3/4 of the way done!

Root’s hair fell in front of her face and she pushed it behind her ear. The grass tickled her stomach as her shirt rode up. Next to her, Sameen laid on her back, eyes closed, her hair scattered around her. Her softball game had ended almost an hour ago, but she still smelled like sweet and clay and that strong, comforting smell that was just her.

The wind blew across the back of Root’s bare legs and she shivered. It was cool for July and she wished she’d worn her leather jacket to the game. Sameen slapped her leg when a mosquito landed on her. Across the park, a father and his son walked onto the empty baseball diamond. Root glanced down at her book, squinting in the dying light.

“’If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.”

“Oh god,” Sameen groaned, her eyes still closed, “just stop. I already hate this. Can’t you just tell Grace to give us a pass?”

Root laughed and tossed the book away. “I don’t think she’d go for that. I’ll try, though.”

Scratching her nose, Sameen sat up. She blinked into the setting sun, her mouth opening in a yawn. Things were getting better between them and Root was content to just lay in the park for the rest of the night, looking at Sameen in the moonlight and thinking about the upcoming school year. Catcher in the Rye was their last book to read and then they were all set.

“We should do more SAT prep this weekend,” Sameen said, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging her legs. “I know we’ve been scoring pretty high, but more practice never hurt.”

Root nodded and rolled onto her back, bumping into Sameen’s side. She grinned up at Sameen and wiggled her eyebrows. “We could make it a game.”

Sameen raised an eyebrow and rested her chin on her knees. “A game?”

“Yeah,” Root said, pushing herself up, “for every right answer…you give me a kiss.”

“What if I get a right answer?”

Root rolled her eyes. “You give me a kiss. I said that!”

Sameen bumped their shoulders together, scoffing. “This is a trick. What do I get out of it?”

“You get to kiss me.” Throwing her arms around Sameen’s shoulders, Root pressed a kiss to her cheek. “That should be reward enough.”

Grumbling, Sameen released her legs and wrapped them around Root’s waist. Tangled together, they lost their balance and fell backwards into the grass. Root laughed and tried to push her hair out of her face, but Sameen kept messing it up. They wrestled together on the ground, Root trying to get the upper hand and failing.

She kept her eyes on Sameen’s face as they played, her eyes tearing up with laughter. Sameen’s loose hair made it almost impossible to see anything at all, but Root kept catching glimpse of the orange sunset’s light on Sameen’s tanned skin. She felt lighter than she had in months. Sameen’s teeth were bared in a growl, her fingers painfully tangling in Root’s hair.

“Mercy!” Root barked between laughs. She stopped struggling and just flopped to the ground. Sameen crashed down on top of her. “I give up.”

Pushing herself to her knees, Sameen flipped her head back, her hair flying through the air and out of her face. Gently, Root rested her hands on Sameen’s thighs, feeling her firm legs. Above her, Sameen looked like a goddess set against the sunset.

Sameen crossed her arms and stared down, her face mostly in shadow. “Every time you get a right answer, you get a kiss. Every time I get a right answer, you do a sit-up.”

Root pouted. “A sit-up? That’s not sexy.”

Sameen hummed. She leaned down, using a finger to push hair away from Root’s ear, and dragged her lips over Root’s cheek. “Once you’re done doing sit-ups, you’ll be pretty sweaty. It’s my job to lick you clean again.”

Sameen’s breath was hot against Root’s neck, her voice the only thing Root could hear. Her eyes unfocused at the thought of Sameen licking her clean. Root licked her lips, trying to slow her heart rate. Just as she was starting to succeed, Sameen started kissing her neck. Her tongue pressed to Root’s pulse point, her jugular artery, and Root started to sweat.

Her phone rang loudly, making them both jump. Sameen scowled and slid to the side, moving off of Root. Disoriented, Root sat up and pulled her phone out of her back pocket. She stared down at the screen.

“It’s Claire,” she mumbled, confused. “Why is Claire calling me?”

Sameen just shrugged and looked away, scratching her arm. Sliding her thumb across the screen, Root took the call. She put it on speaker phone.

“Hello?”

“It’s Claire. Listen, are you guys coming to the bar or what?”

Root frowned. “What? I think you called the wrong person.”

“This is Root, right? Is Shaw there?”

Sameen leaned forward, her eyebrows raised. “Yes?”

“Your whole team is at Grand Prize celebrating the victory! I know you babies can’t drink, but you can eat!”

Root put her phone on her knee and signed to Sameen. ‘Want to go? I’m hungry and it’s getting dark.’

Nodding, Sameen picked up Root’s phone. “We’ll be there soon. Text us the address.”

“See ya soon, losers.”

The phone beeped as the call ended and Root chuckled. “Wow, I haven’t talked to her in months.”

“She’s so weird,” Sameen muttered as she climbed to her feet. “What is she even doing in Houston?”

“Who knows?”

Root reached up and let Sameen pull her to her feet. She snuck a quick kiss and headed for the parking lot. They’d had some really good food since they got to Houston. She did miss Mrs. Reese’s cooking a little bit, but Bishop couldn’t really compete. Root would be sad to go back.

Sameen groaned loudly next to her. “I’m going to eat a huge fucking steak.”

“When do you eat anything else?” Root joked. “You’re a steak monster.”

“Is that a monster who eats a lot of steak?” Sameen asked. “Or a monster that’s made of steak? I’m fine with the description either way. It’s true.”

Root just shook her head and jumped behind Sameen. She wrapped her arms around Sameen’s shoulders from behind, tip-toeing awkwardly so she didn’t step on Sameen’s heels.

“Come on, My Steak Monster, let’s get you some steak.”

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Root looked around at the crowds, grinning as the noise overwhelmed her ear. It was her first Pride and she couldn’t stop staring at everything going on. They’d gone to Dallas to stay with the Reese-Carter-Morgans and go to the parade. Beside her, Sameen was eating a large chili-cheese dog, her alien sunglasses covering her eyes.

The past couple of weeks had been amazing. They’d gotten ice cream every night since their fight, and walked around the city with Bear. Sameen had built a small, wooden organizer for Root’s computer pieces and Root had drawn a star chart for her – the sky above Bishop on the day they became friends.

A couple of nights ago, they’d stayed up until 2:00, just talking and eating pizza. It felt like old times and if they’d been close enough, they probably would have gone to the hill and named constellations. Root ran her eyes over Sameen’s strong arms and smiled. Maybe Sameen would pick her up later.

Sameen noticed Root watching her and turned her head.

“What?” she asked, her mouth full. “Is there something on my face?”

Root just bent down and kissed her cheek, laughing as Sameen jerked away. Sameen glared at her as they stopped in front of a bus stop. Joss had just texted her and said they were only a couple blocks away. Sameen shoved the last of the hot dog in her mouth, dropping down onto the bench.

“It’s too hot for this,” Sameen complained, wiping her forehead. “Whose idea was it to have a parade in Texas in the middle of July?”

“Almost all Pride parades are in June or July,” Root answered. She stood on her tip-toes to look over the crowd as a float full of men in leather rolled by. “I should have worn my leather jacket.”

She felt a tug at her back pocket and Root looked down at Sameen. When they were looking at the list of events for the weekend, and trying to coordinate with John and the girls, Root had suggested getting matching shirts. Sameen had teased her for it, but when they were getting ready to drive to Dallas, Sameen pulled out the shirts they were wearing now. Root’s was the lesbian flag and said “The Brains” and Sameen’s was the bi flag and said “The Brawns.”

“What are you doing?” Root asked, poking Sameen’s hand.

Sameen shrugged, squinting up against the sun. “Just holding on. You look like you’re about to leap over the barricade and join the parade.”

Root smiled sheepishly. “I’m just excited.”

“That’s fine,” Sameen chuckled. “Just don’t disappear.”

Turning fully, Root sat on Sameen’s lap, straddling her thighs. The metal bus stop bench dug into her knees, but she ignored it and wrapped her arms around Sameen’s shoulders.

“Root!” Sameen hissed, half-heartedly trying to push Root away. “We’re in public!”

Root pressed a kiss to Sameen’s lips, smiling when she felt warm hands settle on her hips. Pulling away, she grinned. “Everyone here is gay, Sameen. Everyone is here to show off their partners and kiss strangers.”

Sameen leaned back against the bus stop structure, her hands on Root’s bare thighs. “Where the hell is John? I thought they were close.”

“Root!” Zoe’s voice called. “Get off her! What if your girlfriend sees?”

Sliding off Sameen’s lap, Root laughed. She jogged over to the group and threw her arms around Zoe.

“Hello! I missed you!” Root pulled away and hugged Joss. “You guys look good.”

“’I’m not gay…’” Sameen said behind her. Root turned around to see her pulling John’s shirt taut to read it. “…’But my girlfriends are.’ That’s funny. Did you girlfriends make you wear that?”

John punched Sameen in the arm. “Did your girlfriend make you wear yours?”

Sameen growled and jumped up, wrapping her arms around John’s head and trapping him in a headlock. They started to fight and Root just turned back to the girls.

“How has your summer been?” Root asked, the sun hot on her dark hair. “I’m sorry we didn’t visit before now.”

“I know you guys have been working through some things,” Joss shrugged. “We’re doing well! We’ve had to work on somethings of our own this summer. You learn a lot when there are no distractions.”

Root nodded and crossed her arms. “Yeah.”

They turned to look at John and Sameen. They were on the ground, Sameen’s legs wrapped around John’s chest holding him in place. He struggled against her headlock, his face turning red. Root rolled her eyes and turned back to the girls.

“How’s your apartment?” she asked. “Thanks for letting us crash tonight.”

Joss took Zoe’s hand in her own, smiling. “It’s not a problem! We miss you girls and I know John does, too.”

“It’s a nice apartment!” Zoe grinned. “I convinced my dad it was necessary for college, so he’s paying for it.”

Root laughed. “That’s so amazing! I bet I can do the same to Harold next year.”

“Oh, so easily,” Joss said, nodding. Her eyes slid to John and Sameen were still wrestling on the sidewalk. “John has definitely missed Shaw.”

Root looked at them and sighed.

“Stop that. You were just complaining about how hot you were!”

Sameen tightened her grip. “Admit defeat!”

“I surrender!” John choked out. “Get off!”

Releasing her grip, Sameen rolled to her feet. She dusted herself off and grinned at Root.

“This is fun! What next?”

They wandered further down the sidewalk, looking at all the people around them. Root had never seen so many rainbows in her life and she wondered if there were places that were this gay all the time. They’d looked up other Prides, to see how they should dress, and almost every major city had one. One day, Root and Sameen would go to every of them.

Zoe and Joss stopped at a booth selling penis-shaped things and Root and Sameen kept walking. Hooking her elbow through Sameen’s arm, Root dragged her over to the barricade to watch the parade. This close to the crowd and the floats, Root couldn’t hear anything, so she turned to Sameen and tapped her on the shoulder.

Sameen leaned on the metal fence keeping the crowd out of the streets and turned to look at her. Her mouth moved, but Root couldn’t hear what she was saying.

‘I can’t hear at all,’ Root signed. ‘What did you say?’

Sliding her arms off the railing, Sameen smiled. ‘I said don’t jump over the barricade.’

‘I won’t!’ Root grinned. A large float drifted by, several rainbow balloon arches stretched over the top. ‘This is fun! It’s so gay!’

‘We should do this every summer,’ Sameen signed. She reached out and took Root’s hand in her own.

Root watched Sameen watch the parade, her eyes never leaving Sameen’s face. Sameen looked so grown up. Her hair had darkened over the years, now almost jet black instead of just dark brown. Root dropped her eyes to Sameen’s arms. There was a small scar on Sameen’s arms and Root realized she didn’t know where it came from.

Sameen’s eyes widened and she pointed into the parade with her free hand. Root followed her finger and laughed. Coming towards them was a group of women on motorcycles that Root instantly recognized. She shook Sameen’s shoulder to get her attention.

‘Dykes on Bikes!’ she signed excitedly. ‘They’re so cool!’

Sameen grinned at her and turned to watch, leaning against the railing again. The butch women rode towards them, the rumble of their motorcycles adding to the cacophony. Root’s head started to hurt, but she tried to ignore it.

Everything was perfect today. She was with Sameen, who loved her, and her friends, who understood her. Root was happy and looking forward to the future. She watched the motorcycles ride by and grinned. Maybe she could buy a motorcycle when she turned eighteen.

Sameen would probably love riding on a motorcycle. The image of Sameen, hair pulled back and wearing leather pants, formed in Root’s mind and her eyes glazed over. She’d sit behind her and wrap her arms around Sameen’s waist, pushing herself as close as possible. Sameen’s muscular back would push against her chest, hot in the Texas sun.

Someone shook Root’s shoulder, snapping her out of her daze. Sameen was staring at her, looking concerned.

‘Are you ok?’ Sameen asked her.

Root nodded and wiped her forehead. ‘Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about you on a motorcycle.’

Smirking, Sameen bumped their shoulders together. ‘I could get one. Do you think I would look cool?’

‘You’d look hot as hell,’ Root laughed.

She noticed Zoe waving at them and pulled Sameen out of the crowd. Zoe was holding a couple of penis-shaped lollipops and grinned at them as they walked up. She held a purple one out to Sameen.

“Here you go,” Zoe said, waiting for Sameen to take it. When she didn’t, Zoe pouted. “Come on, you still like penises, right?”

Sameen frowned, but took the lollipop. “I’ve never…touched one before.”

Root’s heart fluttered and she realized she hadn’t known that. It was nice to know that Tomas hadn’t gotten his dirty, grimy, man hands all over Sameen, but she couldn’t help feeling surprised. Sameen was hers and hers alone and she’d never gotten bored.

Sameen glanced at Root and put the lollipop in her mouth. “Don’t read into this,” she grumbled, her words slurred by the candy. “I’m sure you’re thinking unsanitary things.”

“Gross,” Root laughed, wrinkling her nose. “I’m not thinking about putting that in other places, I promise.”

Joss leaned into Root’s good ear. “You know, there are some…interesting shops here in Dallas. Zoe and I could take you. Help you pick some things out.”

Root looked at her, eyes wide. “Sex stuff?”

“Yes, Root,” Joss rolled her eyes, “sex stuff.”

John groaned loudly, his lollipop already halfway gone. “Can we not talk about sex and my sister in the same sentence? Please?”

Sameen kicked him in the shin. “I had to listen to both you and your girlfriends talk about sex for so long. You can deal with this, Idiot.”

“Why are you so mean?” John grumbled, stepping away from her. “You need to let off some steam.”

Root stepped to Sameen, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pressing her chest against her arm. She waited until Sameen pulled the lollipop out of her mouth before ducking down and licking it. Beside her, Sameen gasped.

Root raised her head again, meeting John’s eyes as she carefully wiped her lips with her finger.

“Don’t worry, John. She’s been letting off steam.”

John just winced and shook his head. He put his lollipop back in his mouth and helplessly turned to Zoe and Joss for help.

Zoe patted his arm, looking around the parade. Root smiled down at Sameen and stuck her tongue out.

“Is it purple?”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “You licked it once. Your tongue is normal.”

“Oh!” Zoe gasped, waving her arm above her head. She turned to grin at the group. “I just saw someone I know! He’s really cool. Come on!”

Zoe led them into the crowd and Root reached down to take Sameen’s hand, so they wouldn’t get separated. She glanced back at Sameen and laughed at the scowl on her face as she ate her lollipop. The parade was nice, but as she walked through the crowd with her girlfriend, Root thought that this might be what Pride was about – just being happy with the people you love, and Root was really, really happy.

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Root jumped, her fingers brushing the underside of an awning. Dallas was a beautiful city and at night, the streetlights made it look magical. Across the street, some boys yelled at them. Root turned, angry, but saw they were carrying a rainbow flag and happily called back.

“Happy Pride!” One of them called.

Sameen raised the flag tied to her wrist. “Happy Pride!”

Root laughed and hooked her arm through Sameen’s. It had been a crazy weekend. Somehow, Root had ended up covered head to toe in glitter and she still wasn’t sure what she would say to her office when she went back to her internship on Monday. Sameen had avoided the glitter, but her face was smeared with different colored paint.

Sameen turned around to walk backwards down the sidewalk. “I was thinking-“

“Don’t hurt yourself!” Root grinned. They were almost delirious with exhaustion and excitement. “You’re so small! A big thought could hurt you!”

“Rude,” Sameen muttered. She almost tripped, righting herself at the last minute. “I was thinking that we should get extra buttery popcorn. I know John and the girls are on that health kick, but we’re young and already healthy, right? We deserve the most buttery popcorn that exists.”

“’Most buttery?’ I don’t think that’s right.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Sameen growled. She leapt forward and wrapped her arms around Root’s waist. “If you loved me, you’d let me eat terrible food.”

Root rolled her eyes, pulling her head back. “That’s not fair.”

“Please?” Sameen pouted, her lower lip jutting out. “I’ll owe you one.”

“Fine!” Root relented. “We can buy artery-clogging popcorn.”

She realized they were in front of the market and pushed Sameen off, reaching for the door. They’d been watching movies at the Reese-Carter-Morgan’s apartment and run out of snacks. Root had offered to buy more since they were letting them stay there for the weekend.

A gust of cold air blew Root’s hair back as she walked into the store. It was bigger than she expected, but smaller than a normal grocery store. The tiles were a shiny white under the fluorescents. Sameen immediately disappeared to find popcorn and Root wandered into the first aisle, just browsing.

She’d walked into the cereal aisle. Root looked over the brands, stopping in front of the Honey Nut Cheerios. They reminded her of her mother. Well, they reminded her of how she used to live with her mother. Root had bought Honey Nut Cheerios every other week to hide under her bed and eat before she left for school.

She tried to think of the last time she’d had them and she couldn’t remember. Before she could decide if that made her happy or sad, someone bumped into her and her chest slammed into the shelves.

“I’m so sorry,” a familiar voice said behind her. “Are you alright?”

Root nodded as she turned around. Looking at the man who had bumped into her, Root’s stomach clenched painfully. Her father had gone gray since she last saw him almost four years ago. He was clean-shaven and well-dressed, his navy suit fitting him well. Root crossed her arms across her stomach.

Her father frowned. “Sam?” he asked, sounding unsure. “Is that you?”

Root winced at her name; no one called her that anymore. “Hi, dad.”

“Wow,” he ran a hand over his hair, his wedding ring glinting in the light. “You look so grown up.”

“It’s been a few years,” she muttered. Standing with her father in a grocery store made her feel like a child again and she hated it. “How are you?”

He shrugged. “Good. And you? Your mother?”

“Mom’s in jail,” Root answered. She dropped her arms, determined not to look weak. “I’m good.”

“Jail?” He looked surprised. “How- Why- No one told me. Where are you living now? Are you going to college in Dallas?”

Root laughed humorlessly and rubbed her forehead. Her father didn’t even know what grade she was in. Root shouldn’t be surprised; he’d never really been attentive.

“I’m going into my senior year of high school, so no, I’m not going to college here. I still live in Bishop. Harold and Grace adopted me.”

“Harold Finch?” Her father asked. He scoffed. “The teacher? That’s…Why didn’t anyone tell me about your mother? Why is she in jail?”

“Well, we have no legal attachment, so I don’t think anyone is required to tell you anything.” Root shifted her weight, her boot squeaking on the waxed tile. “She, uh, I went away last summer and she trashed the house. When I came back, she tired to kill me. I’m deaf in my right ear now.”

Her father stared at her from across the aisle, his mouth open. Looking him over, Root was underwhelmed. As a child, he seemed so amazing. He taught her how to code and fostered her love of space. Seeing him now, he just looked like a man. Root sighed.

“It’s not a big deal. I’m pretty much over it. We don’t have to reconnect or anything. I’m just here to buy some snacks.”

His mouth clicked shut. “You came all the way to Dallas for snacks?”

“No,” Root said slowly, her eyebrows raised. How was this man her father? “I’m here for Pride. I’m staying with some friends and we ran out of snacks.”

“Pride,” he repeated. He looked her over and took in the glitter. His mouth moved as he read her shirt. “If you’re ‘the brains’, is someone else ‘the brawn?’ Do you have a, a girlfriend?”

Root thought about how he might not be ok with Sameen. He might dislike her like her mother did. Sameen wasn’t white and she was dating their daughter. Should Root lie?

“Babe, I found this super buttery popcorn for 79 cents, so I’m going to get it.” Sameen came around a corner and headed towards them, still looking at the box of popcorn. “They also had this healthy shit on sale, though, so I figured we’d get both for…Oh.”

Sameen looked between Root and her father and Root wondered if she could see a resemblance. Sameen’s face dropped into its neutral mask. Quickly closing the remaining distance, Sameen stopped next to her.

“Are you ok?” Sameen asked softly. Her hands clenched into fists around the boxes. “You want me to get rid of him?”

Root shook her head, smiling. “It’s ok. We were almost done.”

Her father looked between the two of them and smiled. “I’m glad you have someone, Sam. I’m sorry for the way things turned out.”

“’The way things turned out?’ You mean, your decisions?” Root glared at him. The hum of the fluorescents finally registered in her ear. She held a hand up. “I don’t want to fight with you. I’m tired of fighting all the time.”

Sameen looked at her, face impassive. After a moment, her father nodded.

“Ok. Well, I hope that you’re happy and you have a good life.”

“Yeah,” Root nodded. Her stomach clenched again. “You, too.”

Her father looked at her again before walking away. He disappeared around the corner and Root let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. She smiled at Sameen, laughing dryly.

“What are the odds?”

Sameen shrugged. “Pretty low. Dallas isn’t a small city. Maybe it’s fate?”

“Fate?” Root shook her head. “I didn’t think you believed in fate.”

“I don’t,” Sameen confirmed. “I just assumed that you do.”

Root cupped Sameen’s face in her hands, looking into her eyes. “I believe in you, Sameen Shaw. Also, aliens.”

“Also, aliens,” Sameen repeated, pushing herself up onto her toes. She kissed Root softly. “I’m basically an alien.”

“You are.” Root kissed her again. “My alien.”

“Enough,” Sameen snorted, stepping away. “Let’s buy this and get back to the apartment. They’re going to start the Bruce Lee marathon without us.”

Root followed her as she started to the checkout counter. “You should punch people more. I miss that.”

Sameen laughed and dropped the boxes onto the counter. “Your dad can’t be too far. Want me to pick a fight?”

“No…” Root sighed and leaned against the counter next to Sameen. She scratched her nose. “Let’s move somewhere remote after college. Like…New Mexico. I’ll work for the Very Large Array and you can work as a cool surgeon.”

The change was loud on the counter as Sameen paid. She pushed her hair over her shoulder. “Okay. They have good food out there.”

Root grinned. She wasn’t sure if Sameen was joking or not, but it didn’t matter. They’d still be together when Sameen was done with Med School and they could decide then. It was nice to talk about the future. Even though her father reminded Root of the past, he also reminded her that there was more to life than Bishop and Texas. There was so much out there.

Maybe Root would just disappear like her father did. She could just leave Bishop and go somewhere else. Sameen could drive them clear across the country. They could sell RBG and take a bus or a plane. One day, Root thought to herself. They could do a roadtrip every year for the rest of their lives if they wanted to.

“Ready?” Sameen asked her, a plastic bag held loosely in her hand.

Root nodded and smiled. “I love you.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I love you, too. Come on, I’m starving.”

Laughing, Root followed her out the door and into the warm, night air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, there goes the summer! So fast, so fleeting.
> 
> Next up: It's back to Bishop and into Senior year!


	49. Move Along

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, are we still here? Is anyone still reading this?  
> Anyway, I'm thinking this fic is going to get to 200,000 by the end, so that'll be cool.  
> We've got some fun stuff coming up! I can't say anything about it because spoilers, but I hope you all like it!

Sameen lazily kicked her legs to keep herself afloat, the cold pool water moving around her. Her hands made figure-eight, sending out small waves. It was their last night in Houston and they were hanging out in their apartment complex’s pool. It was bigger than the one at her house and Sameen had spent several afternoons doing laps while Root worked on her computer.

She stared up at the stars and listen to Root and Bear splash at the other end of the pool. The blue pool lights made the water look deeper than it was, and Sameen almost felt like she was floating in space. She was looking forward to going home and visiting the hill again. She was also looking forward to dinner tomorrow night. Mrs. Reese was making lasagna and a cake. If Lionel thought he was getting even one bite of either, he was in for a rude awakening.

Overall, Sameen would say that the summer was a success. Despite her infuriatingly rude supervisor, Sameen had learned a lot and she was surer than ever that she wanted to pursue medicine. Maybe she’d ever emotionally heal anyone, but she could physically help them. Maybe one day, she and Root could work together and invent something to help with her hearing better than a cochlear implant could.

From underneath the water, two arms wrapped around Sameen’s waist, dragging her down. She took a deep breath of air before her face submerged. Kicking her limbs out to turn over, Sameen glared down at Root. Root just grinned at her and tapped a finger to her lips, demanding a kiss. Sameen swam down, pressing her lips to Roots and pushing them against the rough pool floor.

Pulling away, their eyes met. Root reached up to pull on Sameen’s hair. Sameen tried to understand Root's depression as they bumped against the bottom of the pool. Root had described it as drowning and wanting to drown. Her chest began to ache from lack of air and Sameen wondered if Root felt suffocated. She didn't feel scared underwater, or sad, or angry. 

The weight of the water around her, cold and dark and heavy, made her feel peaceful. The water dulled her senses and made the world go quiet. She watched as Root's throat tensed and her hand, pulling them to the surface. Sameen sucked in air. Root laughed as they pushed hair out of their faces.

“Sorry to interrupt your floating,” Root joked, “but I missed you.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and moved slightly so she could rest her toes on the pool floor. Root followed her, her shoulders rising out of the water.

“I didn’t go anywhere, weirdo,” Sameen scoffed.

“I know, but still!” Root reached out to wrap her arms around Sameen’s shoulders and pull her close. “We’re going to be back home soon and I’ll have to share you with other people.”

Sameen rolled her eyes again for good measure, but she put her arms around Root’s waist and held her close. They were taking difficult classes next year, almost all APs, and she was sure they wouldn’t be able to go out as much as they usually did. She’d have to make sure to find time for them to just be together. Between classes, soccer practice, Science bowl, SATs, and applying for colleges, it might be difficult.

“I can’t believe your mom made us sign up for Home Economics,” Root sighed, resting her cheek against Sameen’s. “You already know how to cook and I can…make some things.”

“You can barely boil water, Root. I think she wants us to try something out of our comfort zones.”

Root pulled away, pouting. “I like my comfort zone. It has computers and books and space.”

Sameen laughed. “Yeah, but can you do anything practical? Like make eggs? I can’t marry someone who doesn’t know how to cook.”

“Ooh,” Root drawled, her face lighting up, “thinking about our future marriage again? I’ll cook dinner and you’ll do the dishes, then we’ll go for a moonlight stroll through the snow. Wait, do we live somewhere it snows?”

“I’m not playing along,” Sameen replied. “I just meant that we’ll probably learn something next year. You’ll take your crazy Physics class and I’ll take AP Bio. It’ll be good.”

“When I’m with you,” Root purred against Sameen’s lips, “everything is good.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root rolled down the window, her bicep straining to turn the handle. RBG had been upgraded over the last year and a half, but it was still almost impossible to open the windows. Sticking her body out into the warm air, she stretched her hand out to hit the Bishop, Tx sign as they passed by. Hard to believe the summer was done and they started their senior year in two days.

The breeze blew back her hair and Root smiled. Once they took their SATs at the end of August, they’d be applying for colleges and really thinking about the future. They passed the first few houses and Root ducked back into the car.

“Back in the old 361,” Root sighed. “One more year and then never again.”

“Until Thanksgiving anyway,” Sameen said. She stopped at a stop sign and turned her signal on. “Then Christmas. Probably at some point in the summer, right?”

Root slipped her feet back into her shoes. “Fine. One more year and then only on special occasions.”

Sameen nodded and pushed her aviators up on her head. They hadn’t really talked about colleges yet. Root had always planned on MIT. Harvard had a good med school. Sameen could easily get in there and they could get a cute apartment in Boston with Bear. They could go to Cheers!

“Hey, Sameen,” Root started, turning in her seat and stretching her legs into Sameen’s laps, “where do you want to go to college?”

Shrugging, Sameen turned right. “You want to go to MIT, right? Harvard is pretty close.”

Root cheered and clapped her hands. “Perfect! We’ll go to Cheers every night.”

“What?” Sameen looked skeptical. “Where everybody knows your name? No thanks. Why don’t we just wait until we get there.”

“Sure,” Root agreed. “I’ll make us fake IDs, so we can drink.”

Scoffing, Sameen turned left onto their street. “Did you tell them we’re close?”

“Nope,” Root answered, popping the ‘P’. “We’ll surprise them.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“I swear to god, Lionel, I will rip the still-beating heart from your chest.”

Across the table, Lionel picked up his fork. “This cake is for all of us, Sameen.” He slid his fork under the piece of cake Mrs. Reese had just cut for him and moved it onto his plate. “I can have a piece if I want to. Right, mom?”

Sameen whipped her head around to glare at Mrs. Reese. Between them, Harold and Grace watched, amused.

“Lionel is right,” Mrs. Reese said, rolling her eyes. “It’s a big cake. You can both eat as much as you want.”

“I have been gone,” Sameen started, dramatically, rising to her feet, “for over two months…”

Root laughed and tugged on Sameen’s shorts. “Don’t be overdramatic! Besides, you shouldn’t have too much cake anyway.”

Sameen stared down at her. “Et tu, Root?” She lifted her hands. “Are you calling me fat? Did I get fat over the summer? It’s your fault! All that Chinese food.”

“I didn’t gain weight.” Root smiled. “I did a lot of sit-ups. Remember?”

“That’s nice,” Grace spoke up. “Was Sameen working you hard?”

Sameen bit her cheek and sat back down. Her sore biceps reminded her just how hard she’d been working Root the past few weeks. Except for the week when they had their period, they’d synced over a year ago, they’d had sex every day for the last month. She couldn’t say that to their families. Beside her, she could hear Root laughing softly.

“Gross,” Lionel muttered around his bike of cake. “You guys are the worst.”

“We spent a lot of time studying for the SATs,” Sameen finally answered. “Every question I got right, Root had to do a sit-up or a push-up. Kept her fit.”

Harold leaned forward and rested his arms on the table. “What if Root got a question right?”

Flushing, Root shrugged. “Uh, she gave me a kiss.”

“Gross,” Lionel repeated. “Every time you guys leave and come back, you get even worse. When you come back from college, you’re gonna be making out on the table.”

“Oh, Lionel,” Mrs. Reese laughed. “You’re just upset because your girlfriend moved away.”

“Riley?” Sameen asked, frowning. “When did that happen?”

“Early July,” Lionel said, pushing his food around. “She moved to Dallas.”

Root scoffed. “They all do, Lionel. They all do.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root pushed her shopping cart and hopped on the back, riding it down the aisle. They were shopping for school supplies and she was ready to leave. She loved post-its and pencils as much as the next nerd, but they’d been here for hours. School started tomorrow and everyone was buying last minute supplies.

They’d already run into Principal McCarthy, Mr. Collier, and Mr. Ingram. All of them had asked about the summer and wanted to know all the details. Root heard Sameen’s sneakers squeak on the floor as she jogged to catch up.

“If one more person asks me a question, I’m going to scream.”

Root hopped off the cart and smiled at her. “How about a nice question?”

Sameen scoffed. “Like what?”

“Like…” Root pretended to think. “Can you give me a kiss?”

“Hmm,” Sameen said, stepping forward and reaching out to hold Root’s hips, “I think I can manage that.”

Root smiled into Sameen’s kiss, putting her hands on Sameen’s shoulders and savoring the moment. Being back in Bishop was cramping their style. Lionel kept bursting into Sameen’s room at all hours and Harold had asked Root to sleep at their house every night since they’d been back. The school year hadn’t even started and they were already kissing less. Root couldn’t stand it.

“Excuse me,” a voice said next to them, “I need a stapler.”

Root pulled back and looked at the small person standing next to them. A young girl with wild blonde hair was scowling at them and tapping her foot impatiently. She was clutching a small notebook in her hand and Root spotted a pen tucked behind one ear. The girl raised her arms.

“Hello? Can you hear me?” The girl asked loudly. “Are you deaf?”

“I am, actually,” Root replied, stepping away from Sameen. “In one ear.”

The girl rolled her eyes. “That barely counts. Listen, I need a stapler.”

“We heard you the first time,” Sameen said. She moved out of the way and made a sweeping gesture towards the shelf. “Knock yourself out.”

The girl stared at Sameen for a moment before opening her notebook. Root watched as she flipped through several pages and then snapped the book shut again. She looked at Sameen, grinning.

“You’re Sameen Shaw, captain of the soccer team.”

Sameen glanced at Root. “Uh, yeah. I am.”

“I’m Gen Zhirova. I’m new in town and I’m going to be on the soccer team this year.”

Root raised her eyebrows at the girl’s confidence. Freshman weren’t allowed on the team; Sameen had been an exception and this small girl definitely wasn’t.

Sameen scratched her head. “Freshman usually don’t make the team.”

“You did,” Gen answered. “Now you’re captain. I’m going to be captain my senior year, too.”

“Sameen,” Root said. She tilted her head. “Let’s go.”

Sameen nodded and walked around Gen, heading out of the aisle. Root watched Gen watch Sameen. Gen’s eyes suddenly snapped to hers.

“Who are you?” Gen asked.

“Uh,” Root blinked, “I’m Root. Captain of the Science Bowl team.”

“Uh-uh,” Gen muttered, opening her notebook. She scrawled something quickly. “I’m not joining the Science Bowl team, so I don’t care.”

Root pursed her lips, trying to decide if she’d get in trouble for pushing Gen. This girl was already getting on her nerves and school hadn’t even started yet. She took a deep breath and reminded herself that this girl was new in town and probably didn’t have any friends yet.

“Well, she’s my girlfriend,” Sameen told Gen, “so, you better be nice to her.”

Gen scowled. “Fine. I won’t be mean.”

Sameen squinted and took a step forward. “I didn’t say ‘don’t be mean,’ I said ‘be nice.’”

“Whatever.”

Root laughed and shrugged. “As long as she doesn’t sit at our lunch table.”

Gen perked up. “You have a table in the cafeteria? That’s great! I don’t know anyone yet and I’ll bet your table has a great view of everyone. You seem like an observer, Shaw.”

Root looked at Sameen who just looked confused. She smiled and started pushing the cart away. “Come on,” she said, grabbing Sameen’s arm and pulling her away. “I’m done with this child.”

“I’m 14,” Gen called after them. “I’m almost your age!”

They turned the corner, ignoring her. Sameen crossed her arms.

“She’s going to bother us all year, isn’t she?” Sameen asked.

Root leaned forward, resting her arms on the cart’s handle. “Probably. She’s after you, though, not me. So…Good luck!”

“Oh, god,” Sameen groaned. “Let’s pick a grave for her now.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen adjusted her grip on Root’s hand and stared up at the sky. It was still too early to see Orion, but the sky was so clear tonight, she didn’t mind. After months of the almost-empty sky about Houston, it was nice to be back under their usual set of stars. The hill hadn’t changed at all in their absence. She dropped her head to the side to look at Root.

It was hard to imagine what they’d been like at 14. So much had happened in the last few years, Sameen felt like a totally different person. Well, some things hadn’t changed and never would, but Sameen was more open than she had been when she first got to Bishop. She looked forward to the future now, her future with Root.

“You know,” Root said, breaking the silence, “Orion’s belt isn’t actually three stars. It’s twelve.”

Sameen rolled onto her side to face Root, breathing in the smell of her lavender shampoo. Root smelled like adventure and electricity. Root looked at her and rolled onto her side so they were facing each other.

Reaching out with her free hand, Sameen pushed Root’s hair out of her face. Sometimes, Sameen was surprised by how much she liked Root. If someone had told her four years ago that she was going to fall in love, Sameen probably would have punched them. Now, she’d punch anyone who tried to tell her she didn’t love Root.

She’d worked hard for this and Sameen wasn’t going to give it up again. They were still learning. Sameen had to talk about things and so did Root, but at least they knew they could work through it.

“If we’re still together in 5 years, propose to me,” Sameen said quietly. “In case I forget.”

Root laughed, her breath hot on Sameen’s face. “What?”

“I could forget.” She frowned. “If it looks like Lionel is going to propose to his girlfriend before you and I have gotten married, we have to get married immediately. I refuse to lose to him. He ate my cake two days ago.”

“It was everybody’s cake, Sameen,” Root chuckled, her eyes shining in the moonlight. “We’ll get married eventually, there’s no rush.”

Sameen scooted closer to Root. Their legs tangled together, sweaty in the summer heat.

“It’s supposed to be a cold winter,” Root said. “Cold for Texas anyway. You might have to wear pants instead of shorts.”

“Ugh, kill me.” Sameen brushed Root’s lips with her own. “Let’s sleep out here tonight.”

“We have school tomorrow!” Root swiped her tongue over Sameen’s lip. “Harold will kill us.”

Sameen nipped at Root’s mouth, growling softly. “Fine, but we’re staying out late.”

Root pushed a hand into Sameen’s hair and pulled her close, crashing their mouths together. Sameen sucked in a breath through her nose, her eyes slamming shut, her arms wrapping around Root and pressing her as close as possible. The smell of Root filled her senses and she dug her fingernails into Root’s back, drinking in her moan.

When she was this close to Root, melted together, Sameen could understand happiness. She opened her mouth when Root’s hand tugged at her braid, gasping for air. A cold hand slid under her shirt and up her chest and Sameen groaned. Root’s long fingers touched her with confidence and Sameen grinned.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Sameen panted, her eyes still closed.

“Thanks,” was the breathy reply, “but my name is Root.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Senior Year!


	50. Logos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! 
> 
> My Spring Semester has started and I had 150 pages of reading and an essay, so there's that.  
> Also, if I post a oneshot, I promise it was written very quickly at some ungodly hour and did not contribute to any delay on this story!

“Um…Root?”

“Don’t.” Root closed her eyes. “Don’t say it.”

Sameen licked her lips, holding back a smirk. “You, uh, burnt your mac and cheese again.”

“I know,” Root sighed. She opened her eyes and turned the stove off. “I know, Sameen.”

The timer on Sameen’s oven rang and she reached out to turn it off. She was actually enjoying Home Economics. They were only two weeks into the school year, but Mr. Greer was letting her make recipes that weren’t on the syllabus. She turned her oven off and pulled the door open.

Beside her, Root’s stomach growled. Laughing, Sameen pulled on her oven mitts and took a deep breath. She’d made a pasta pie for lunch. It wasn’t the most complicated recipe, but it was really good. The bell rang, signaling the end of class, and Mr. Greer stopped in front of their workbench.

“Oh dear,” Mr. Greer said, frowning. He stared at Root. “Miss Groves, I see you’ve failed to master Macaroni and Cheese once again.”

“I don’t understand,” Root pouted. “It’s just pasta and water! How can it form this?”

Sameen tuned them out and started transferring her dish to the tubberware she’d brought. Root had a C+ in Home Ec right now and that was only because Mr. Greer loved her. Apparently, she’d been the best employee he’d ever had at the ice cream shop and now he was trying to help her out.

Closing the lid on her container, she moved her dishes to the sink. Despite the academic setback, they were having a good year. Sameen was captain of the soccer team, Root was captain of the science bowl team, and they hadn’t fought at all since Houston. She finished scrubbing her dish and put it onto the drying rack.

Glancing at Root, she rolled her eyes. Root’s face was drooped into a cartoonish pout. “Yes, you can have some of my food.”

“Thank you!” Root grinned and scooped their bags off the floor and headed out of the room.

“I can carry my bag,” Sameen said, grabbing a couple of forks from a drawer and following her out into the hallway. “This isn’t heavy.”

Root just held their bags in her arms as they walked to the cafeteria. “That’s precious cargo, Sameen. Everything you make is so good. I can’t even boil pasta.”

“You’ll get there. We can practice.”

They got to the cafeteria and Root leapt forward, pushing the door open for Sameen. The noise of several hundred kids talking at once hit them like a wall and Sameen saw Root wince. They crossed to the far corner of the room, walking along the wall and bypassing most of the room.

After Martine had bullied them their first two years, they’d moved to a table that was out of the way. Now, if anyone approached them, they’d see it coming. Sameen saw Gen sitting at their table and sighed.

Gen had been following them around since school started, trying to be Sameen’s friend. Sameen wasn’t sure what her deal was, but she was really interested in being on the soccer team and she seemed to know everything about their lives. Root dropped their bags on the table and sat opposite of Gen.

Sameen watched them glare at each other for a moment before sitting down. Root and Gen did not get along. Gen hated Root for no apparent reason and Root hated Gen because of their confrontation in the staple aisle. Sitting down on Root’s left, Sameen opened her container and dropped the forks on the table.

Gen tore her eyes away from Root and grinned at Sameen. “Hello! Are you excited about soccer tryouts? Are they still tomorrow? I’m going to make the team for sure!”

Sameen shoveled food into her mouth and avoided eye contact. If Gen was good, she’d pick her for the team, but if she was bad, Sameen wasn’t going to let her on just because they were friends. Not that they were friends.

“Maybe you should talk less and practice more,” Root snapped. “You bother us so much, you can’t possibly be practicing enough.”

Gen stuck her tongue out at Root. “Some of us are naturally athletic. We can’t all be nerds. Right, Sameen?”

Sameen raised her eyebrows and kept eating. She was not getting into this.

“Sameen happens to like nerds,” Root replied, smug. “She happens to love them.”

“Hey, guys,” Lionel greeted, sitting at the table. He pulled his lunch out of his backpack. “What are we talking about?”

“Root’s a nerd,” Gen answered.

Lionel chuckled and started pulling his things out. Sameen glanced over the contents, nodding to herself. They hadn’t talked about his fitness regimen recently, but Lionel had been doing a good job keeping it up. He’d probably always be a little pudgy, but he was almost as strong as she was now. Almost.

“Is that supposed to be news?” Lionel asked. “Am I supposed to be surprised?”

Her eyes slid to Gen, who didn’t have any food. Maybe Gen had just eaten everything before they sat down. She probably scarfed down her food like she was starving. Sameen glanced up at Gen’s face. Something reminded her of Root when they’d first met. Root’s hand on her arm distracted her and she shifted so they could hold hands.

Gen scoffed and crossed her arms, clearly upset that Lionel wasn’t on her side. Sameen took one last bite and pushed the container over to Root. She watched Root start eating, immediately getting pasta sauce on her face. Sameen dropped Root’s hand to give her a napkin. Stretching her leg to the side, she hooked her ankle around Root’s.

Root smiled at her with a mouth full of pasta, wiping her face. Turning back to the table, Sameen leaned on her elbows. Gen and Lionel were bickering about something, but she couldn’t be bothered to listen.

It had been a really great two weeks. They’d spent the weekend in the train, Root working on her computer and Sameen just working out. So far, their plan to work on personal projects was going well. The train was covered in wires, which Root promised to clean up, and Sameen had started building a working circulatory system. Right now, it was just plexiglass tubes, but once Sameen figured out the system, she’d weld a skeleton and put it together.

Root’s leg tensed and Sameen looked over. Martine was standing beside the table, her lunch tray clenched in her hands. Somehow glaring at everyone at once, Martine slammed her tray done and sat between Gen and Sameen.

“Um,” Root frowned, “What-“

“My mom says I have to be friend with you,” Martine said through gritted teeth. “You won her over last spring and I have no friends this year, so here I am. Slumming.”

Frowning, Sameen leaned back in her chair, her arms dropping into her lap. Mrs. Rousseau was forcing Martine to be friends with them? Just when everything is back to normal with Root, the rest of the world starts being weird.

“You don’t have to do what your mom says,” Gen offered. “Just don’t sit with us.”

Martine looked her over, eyebrows raised. She pushed her blonde hair over her shoulder. “Do I know you?” She looked at Root. “Did Mrs. Reese adopt another one?”

Root rolled her eyes. “She’s a freshman with a crush on Sameen. I hate to agree with her, but she’s right. Just don’t sit with us.”

Everyone at the table looked at Sameen. She crossed her arms. When did she become the leader of the group? Not that there was a group. There was Sameen and Root and sometimes Lionel. Running a hand over her braid, Sameen thought for a moment.

Martine had been really awful to them their freshman year. She’d made fun of Root a lot, but she seemed to have calmed down a little bit. Lambert had been an awful boyfriend. Now that he graduated, maybe Hersch was ignoring her. Maybe Martine did need friends.

“Fine,” Sameen bit, thoroughly done with the whole conversation. “You can sit with us, but we’re not actually friends yet. You still have to prove you’re not a bitch.”

“I tried to warn you about Root and Hanna,” Martine said, indignant. “I was on your side!”

Root glared at her. “You didn’t try hard enough.”

“And I’m done,” Sameen sighed. She pushed her chair away from the table and grabbed her bag. “I’ll see you in Econ. Bring the forks.”

They said their goodbyes and Sameen headed out of the cafeteria. Before she got out of earshot, she heard Gen ask Martine if she was going to try out for the soccer team. Saying a quick prayer to who ever was listening, Sameen hoped the two of them wouldn’t become friends. That would be too much to handle.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root watched Sameen as she reached into the engine of a car. They were three weeks into the school year now and it felt like they never got time alone. Between Lionel, Gen, and Martine, there just wasn’t any time to hang out. It hadn’t even been a month since they got back from Houston and Root was itching to leave Bishop again.

Between AP Physics homework, soccer practice and science bowl, and making sure Lionel didn’t feel lonely, Root and Sameen were finding it difficult to do anything fun. They had the weekends to themselves mostly, but whenever they went out, Gen showed up and bothered them.

They’d started hanging out in the autoshop. Mr. Lambert didn’t mind, and he even let Root use his tools for her Robotics homework. Sameen pulled her arm out of the car. It was black from her finger tips to her armpit and she groaned loudly.

“This is going to take forever to get off,” she grumbled, stomping over to the work bench.

Root handed her a rag, smiling affectionately. “You have a long sleeve jumpsuit, Sameen. Maybe you should use it.”

Sameen just glared at her and scrubbed her arm. Her jump suit was tied around her waist like always. Root didn’t mind; it gave her a better view of Sameen’s arms and that was always a good thing. She kept expecting to get tired of Sameen’s muscle, but it never failed to make Root’s heart skip a beat.

“What are we doing this weekend?” Root asked, hopping onto the workbench. She swung her feet in front of her. “Swimming? Stargazing? Projects? We could practice cooking.” She winked, both of her eyes closing. “We should practice winking. I’m so bad at it.”

Sameen shook her head, her hair falling loose from her braid. “No. I like it.”

“You like my inability to wink?” Root laughed.

“Yeah,” Sameen said, smirking. She dropped her rag onto the table and stepped between Root’s legs. “It’s cute. I mean, in a dumb way.”

Root leaned forward to wrap her arms around Sameen’s shoulders. She grinned, brushing their noses together. “You think I’m cute and you can’t handle it. Just give in, babe. I’m adorable.”

“Oh my god,” Sameen mumbled, her face flushing. She pushed out of Root’s grasp and turned back to the car. “You’re the worst. I try to compliment you…”

Root just grinned and leaned back on her hands. Sameen started to work on the car again, her arm still streaked with grease. They had homework to do and tests to study for, but Root didn’t really care. It was Friday night and they could study on the weekend.

The door to the garage banged open and they turned to look. Lionel marched towards them, wearing a familiar pair of coveralls.

“Oh no,” Sameen growled, stepping away from the car, “please tell me he’s not wearing a uniform.”

Root sighed loudly. “There goes this quiet place.”

“How’s it going?” Lionel greeted them. He looked at all the tools on the table. “This is neat stuff.”

“Lionel, what are you doing here?” Sameen asked. She snatched a wrench of the table. “You barely know anything about cars.”

Lionel shrugged and shoved his hands in his pocket. “So? Mr. Lambert says you can teach me. I told him we needed bonding time. He likes you guys.”

Root slid off the bench and picked up her backpack. “I’m gonna go. I’ll meet you at our place later?”

Sameen glared at her, obviously angry Root was leaving her. “You’re running away?”

“I already know about cars,” Root chuckled. She pressed kiss to Sameen’s sweaty cheek and backed away. “See you later?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sameen snorted. “If I’ve forgiven you.”

Lionel picked up a spark tester. “What’s this?”

“That’s my cue,” Root laughed. Heading for the door, she pulled her back pack onto her shoulders.

They’d driven to the shop, so Root would have to walk home. As she crossed through the waiting room and out into the warm August afternoon, she smiled to herself. It was nice that Lionel and Sameen were spending time together. Maybe Root could spend some time with Harold and Grace this weekend. Family was important, after all.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

‘Hello. I’m your computer. What-“

“Ugh, gross. No.” The sound of typing filled the train. “Let’s try this.”

‘Hello. I’m your comp-“

“No way.”

Sameen looked over her shoulder at Root and rolled her eyes. Root was sprawled out across the bed on her stomach. She’d been trying to pick a voice for her computer for over an hour now, but none of them met her standards. Sameen didn’t even know what she was going for, but all the voices were women, of course.

“Root,” Sameen said, doing one last sit-up, “just pick one.”

Root glared at her. “This is a commitment, Sameen. Scully has to have the right voice.”

Sameen climbed to her feet, finished with her workout. Sweat dripped down her back and she pulled her tanktop off. “Are you naming your computer Scully?”

Grinning, Root pressed a few keys and scrambled off the bed, moving to the center of the room. Somehow, she wasn’t sweaty at all and Sameen marveled at her ability to stay cool in any weather. The fact that she was only in her underwear probably helped, too.

Clearing her throat loudly, Root glanced meaningfully at Sameen. “Scully, it’s me.”

The large rectangle of glass on the wall came to life, casting a blue glue across the train. A slight whirring sound hummed along the ceiling and Sameen wondered if Root could even hear it and if it was a bad sign. A white smiley face appeared on the screen.

“Mulder, it’s me,” a throaty voice rasped. “Cut the crap.”

Sameen chuckled despite herself. “I’m not going to get replaced by your robo-girlfriend, am I?”

“Never!” Root declared, wrapping her arms around Sameen’s waist. Their skin stuck together in the heat. “She’s just a talking computer. I don’t know enough to build a real AI yet.”

“Yet?” Sameen repeated. Her arms hung at her side as Root wiggled against her. “So I may have to worry eventually.”

“Sameen!” Root laughed, trying to tug her to the bed. “You never have to worry. You’ve got me.”

“Oh, I’ve got you alright.” Moving quickly, she ducked down and grabbed Root’s legs, lifting her into the air.

Root squealed and tried to hold onto Sameen’s shoulder, but she was too high. Sameen crossed to the bed carefully. She tossed Root down and her back hit the bed with a thump. Crawling after her, Sameen grinned wolfishly. The sweat on her legs made her knees slip against the soft sheets and her approach was less than threatening.

“You’re all sweaty,” Root said, her nose crinkling. “Gross.”

“Please,” Sameen scoffed. She pushed her exercise shorts off her hips, dropping onto her butt to pull them down her legs. “You love it.”

Root licked her lips, resting back on her elbows. “I do. I love it.”

Sameen threw her legs over Root’s hips, pushing their stomachs together. Her fingers threaded into Root’s hair, tightening until Root’s breath hitched. They’d done this so often now that just the flutter of Root’s eyelashes made Sameen’s stomach tighten. It should be illegal to be so attracted to someone.

Beneath her, Root ran her hands over Sameen’s thighs, her nails leaving pale scratches as they trailed up to her waist. She dragged her fingertips up Sameen’s stomach, over her bra, and down her arms, squeezing the muscle. They hadn’t even kissed and Root’s eyes were unfocused and dark.

“Kiss me,” Root breathed, moving her hands to Sameen’s face and pull her down. “Kiss me,” she murmured against Sameen’s lips.

Their lips slid together and they sighed. Root’s mouth always felt like home. If someone put a gun to Sameen’s head and said she was never going to kiss Root again, Sameen would pull the trigger herself. Root’s tongue swiped against her own and Sameen felt like exploding.

Scooting down the bed, she pushed Root’s bra up. Root’s pale skin was already flushed and red. The splotches of red across Root’s pale skin fascinated Sameen. They were like a roadmap telling Sameen where to put her lips.

“Sameen,” Root gasped above her, “touch me.”

Sameen smirked. “Someone’s bossy tonight.”

She ran her tongue up Root’s stomach, nipping at her ribcage. Moving to Root’s breast, Sameen froze. The gentle whirring that had started earlier had gotten louder. Now, an insistent beeping filled the train.

“What?” Root asked, running a hand over her face. “What’s wrong?”

Sitting up, Sameen looked around. “Something’s beeping. There’s a fan noise and a beeping.”

Root cursed and climbed out of bed, pulling her bra down. “Scully must be overheating. I have to climb up and check.”

“What?” Sameen asked sarcastically. “A computer in a metal train in Texas in August is overheating? That’s crazy!”

“Oh, shut up,” Root muttered. She dug through her supplies in the corner and pulled out a flashlight. “I’m going to climb onto the roof and turn her off. Be right back.”

Sameen dropped onto her side and watched as Root climbed out of the train onto the ladder they’d attached next to the door. Root’s pale legs glowed in the moonlight for a moment before disappearing.

Turning onto her back, Sameen stared up at the ceiling and tried to track Root’s footsteps as they stomped across the metal roff. Outside the train, the stars twinkled above the trees. A horn honked somewhere in the distance and she slid off the bed.

They rarely saw trains pass by. Only a few came by in the night and they were usually already asleep. Sameen leaned against the edge of the door as the train grew larger in the distance. When she was having trouble sleeping, she’d wait up until she saw a train go by and then try to sleep again.

She didn’t have the same restless spirit that Root had, but Sameen could understand the desire to just disappear and become someone new. Of course, it would only be worth it if Root was still with her. Who was she without Root? Their fates were intertwined now.

Sameen chuckled to herself. What a Root thing to think. The ladder rattled as Root climbed back down and Sameen reached out to offer a hand. Root took it and hopped from the ladder back into their clubhouse. Outside, the train grew closer and louder and Root stood next to Sameen as it barreled towards them.

“Do you think they can see us?” Root yelled over the horn. “The driver?”

“Who knows?” Sameen called back. She saw Root frown and rolled her eyes. She signed her answer for Root.

Root nodded and adjusted her grip on Sameen’s hand, tangling their fingers together. The flashlight hung loosely in the other hand. The train was almost on them now, screaming down the tracks. As it got closer, Root took a deep breath.

The train raced passed them and Root screamed into the wind, her voice getting swept away. After a moment, Sameen joined her. Sameen’s hand hurt from Root’s bruising grip, but she didn’t let go. Instead, she clutched it as tightly as she could and screamed as loudly as she could. She wasn’t sure why they were screaming, but it felt good. Root’s hand felt good. They sucked in another breath and let the train whisk it away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Can't wait to see what this year holds in store for these two :P


	51. I Melt With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I know! Two weeks! School is killing me, but I blew off all of my homework and I wrote a fairly long chapter!

“I’m just saying,” Root started, climbing out of the car, “I like the new Fall Out Boy album.”

Sameen slammed her door shut, scoffing. “It doesn’t hold a candle to their original stuff.” She stomped towards the entrance to Greer’s, leaving Root to close her door and jog to catch up. “I hate the new Panic! stuff, too. At least, MCR has the decency to stay broken up.”

Root laughed and pulled her leather jacket closed. It was cool for early September, only 70 degrees, and the parking lot was full of cars. They’d just gotten back to Bishop after taking their SATs in Kingsville. The test was way too early for a Saturday morning, so they had planned on going straight home, but the test was so easy, they wanted ice cream to celebrate. All of Bishop seemed to have the same thought.

Sameen pulled open the front door and stepped aside to let a family out. When they had passed, she made a grand sweeping gesture, letting Root in first. Winking as she stepped inside, Root made sure to brush against Sameen suggestively. She looked around the store. It was so crowded she could barely see the counter.

Root pushed through the crowd, trying to see if there was an open table. The noise in the room was overwhelming and she wondered how she’d sign and eat her ice cream at the same time. Sameen’s hand appeared over her shoulder, startling her, and pointed to a table in the back corner.

“No…” Root groaned, slumping. “She hates me.”

Lightly pushing Root forward, Sameen pressed her lips against Root’s left ear. “You guys have been doing so well lately. She hasn’t called you dumb in days!”

Root rolled her eyes, but let Sameen lead her around the full tables to where Gen sat alone, a notebook spread out in front of her. Sameen was right; Gen had relaxed a little bit since school started over a month ago. She was still following Sameen around like a lost puppy, but she’d actually complimented Root’s sneakers the other day, seemingly sincere.

Root pulled out the chair across from Gen and sat down. “Hello, freshman,” Root greeted. Across the store from the counter, she could hear a little better. “Kicked any good shins lately?”

Gen looked up from her notebook, slamming it shut. She glanced up at Sameen before focusing on Root. “I haven’t kicked you in like a week, nerd.” She put her pencil down. “You worked here, right?”

Root nodded. Sameen patted her shoulder and pointed to the counter. Watching Sameen disappear into the crowd, Root leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. “Yeah,” she said, turning back to Gen, “for almost two years. Why? Planning a robbery?”

Gen stuck her tongue out. “No. I was hoping you could give me a tour, though.”

“Uh, probably.” Root shrugged. “Mr. Greer loves me.”

“Even though you keep destroying his classroom? Are you still failing his class?”

“Wow,” Root snorted, crossing her arms, “I guess you don’t want a tour after all.”

Gen scowled, glaring at Root. “Fine. I’m sorry. Happy? Ugh. What does Shaw even like about you?”

“My hot body and girlish charm. Why do you want a tour anyway?”

Gen stared at her for a moment before nodding, coming to some sort of conclusion. Looking around the store quickly, she leaned across the table and whispered something inaudible. Even though the distance lessened the chatter, Root could barely hear whispers even when it was quiet.

“I can’t hear you,” Root said apologetically. She gestured to her ear. “Deaf.”

Rolling her eyes, Gen opened her notebook again and turned to a fresh page. After scribbling furiously, she pushed the book across the small table.

“Can you keep a secret?” Root read out loud.

The book was snatched from her hands, scaring her. Gen frowned down at the page, writing another message. She shoved the notebook back into Root’s hands.

“Read to yourse – oh.” Root shrugged, reaching up to scratch her nose. “Whoops.”

She took the pen from Gen and wrote ‘I can keep a secret.’

The metal spiral of the notebook scraped across the wooden tabletop as she slid it back. Reading Root’s message, Gen started writing and Root leaned back in her seat. She looked around for Sameen and spotted her at the counter, four sample spoons clutched in her hand. The crowd was thinning and Sameen was apparently taking advantage of the poor server’s attention. Root laughed; Sameen was just going to get Triple Chocolate like always.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the notebook switch sides again and turned back to the table. Written in sloppy, slanted handwriting were the words ‘Greer is evil.’ She glanced at Gen to see if this was a joke, but Gen was staring at her intensely, completely serious. Root looked down again. ‘I built listening devices. I want to plant them and see what he’s up to.’

“Greer’s like 70,” Root said out loud. “What’s he going to do? Be old-people racist? Are you gonna catch him hating immigrants?”

“Watch it!” Gen said loudly. “I’m an immigrant. Maybe he wants to get us dragged out of town.”

Frowning, Root looked Gen over. She was smaller than average, skinny and pale. They’d never talked about why she’d moved to Bishop. Gen never talked about where she’d come from or who she lived with. Root wasn’t even sure she had parents. The defensive look in Gen’s eyes was incredibly familiar.

“Fine,” Root sighed. She felt silly, but having Sameen as a friend had helped her a lot. Maybe Gen just needed someone, too. “So, Greer is evil and you want to spy. What kind of devices did you make? GSM? RF? Are you just planning on hardwiring something?”

Gen looked surprised and Root smirked. Obviously, Gen had underestimated her.

“You know about this stuff?” Gen asked, leaning forward.

Root grinned. “I built my own HAM radio when I was younger than you are now. I’m basically a genius.”

Rolling her eyes again, Gen sat back in her chair. “I may have underestimated you, Groves.”

“Don’t call me that.” Root held a hand up. “It’s just Root.”

“Like Madonna?” Gen closed her notebook, one eyebrow raised. “That’s dumb.”

“Yeah, whatever, ‘Gen.’ If that’s even your real name.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

They glared at each other across the table.

“I see the truce has ended,” Sameen said, appearing next to them. She held up three ice cream cones. “Sustenance.”

Root took two cones from her so she could sit down. Sameen dropped into her chair with a sigh, handing the third cone to Gen. She took hers from Root and licked it.

“I got you cookie dough,” Sameen said to Gen. “I don’t know what you like, but you’re like 12, right? Kids like cookie dough.”

Gen frowned. “I’m 14.” She looked down at her ice cream and her licks quirked up into a small smile. “Thank you. I do like cookie dough.”

Kicking Sameen under the table, Root laughed. “She’s never going to leave us alone if you keep feeding her.”

“Whatever,” Sameen said, wiping chocolate from her lips. “You’re the one who said we had to make new friends. I’m making friends.”

“Speaking of friendship…” Gen held her cone in one hand, reaching down to pull a piece of paper from the bag at her side with her other. She slammed it down on the table, making Root jump. “Let’s go to this tonight.”

Root ate her ice cream and looked at the poster, her head tilted. It was the flyer for a roller derby game in Corpus Christi. A muscular woman took up most of the page, her sportsbra and shorts leaving little to the imagination. If she’d been a little tanner, she would have looked like Sameen.

“Roller Derby?” Sameen asked, voice muffled by ice cream. “Like that Ellen Page movie?”

Root took a bite of her ice cream and looked at Sameen. “You’re so gay.”

Sameen raised a leg, resting her foot on her chair. She met Root’s eyes and slowly licked her ice cream, her tongue hard against the cold surface. Eyes locked on Sameen’s mouth, Root swallowed. Any time Sameen’s eyes focused on her, Root started to sweat. Her cone cracked in her hand as her fist clenched and Root looked away, taking a deep breath.

“Oh,” Gen said thoughtfully, “so that’s what Lionel’s talking about.”

Root’s eyes slid to Gen. “What?”

“Lionel’s always talking about how gross you guys are.” Gen shrugged. “I hadn’t noticed before. I see it now.”

Root flushed as Sameen rolled her eyes. It never felt like they were being obvious, but maybe they were worse than they thought. Zoe and Joss had teased them before, but Root assumed that’s just how they are. Had Root and Sameen looked at each other like this all along? And it had still taken them so long to get together.

Root couldn’t help looking at Sameen. There was always a light sheen of sweat on Sameen’s arms, even now in the cooler weather. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her jawline was strong and sharp. Root ran her eyes down Sameen’s neck. They lingered on a fading mark above her collarbone, the remnants of last weekend’s experiment. She sucked in a breath, remembering the way Sameen’s flushed skin had looked under the stars.

“You’re doing it again,” Gen announced, startling Root. “So, are you coming tonight or not?”

Sameen tapped Root’s arm lightly. “You wanna go?”

“Sure. We can invite Lionel.”

“Martine, too?” Gen asked, hopefully. “I like her. She always looks like she wants to punch someone.”

“I can understand that,” Sameen said. “We’re both pretty scary.”

Gen chuckled. “Yeah, ok.”

Sameen stiffened. She glanced at Root before turning to face Gen. Root ate her ice cream, smiling. Apparently, Sameen was losing her edge.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Sameen asked, indignant. “You don’t think I could fight someone?”

“I’m sure you could,” Gen said reassuringly. “You’re just not as scary as Martine is. You’ve been nice to me and you’re really supportive of everyone on the team. I mean, you bought me ice cream.”

“Sameen,” Root laughed, “You’ve gone soft. Kids these days don’t even know you put Lambert in the hospital.”

Gen’s eyes widened. “I forgot about that! Martine told me about that! That’s impressive, but I don’t really think of you like that. Why were you so mad?”

Sameen looked over her shoulder at Root. “Uh,” she stammered, “I was drunk. He was an asshole.”

“Let’s go,” Root said, standing. They were heading into dangerous territory. She wasn’t willing to talk to Gen about her relationship troubles. “We should get ready for tonight.” She smiled at Gen. “Let me know when you want that tour.”

“What tour?” Sameen asked, looking between them as she stood. “Are two actually planning to do something together?”

Gen glared at Root and dragged a finger across her throat. Root just took a bite of her cone and stepped away from the table. She wasn’t going to be intimidated by someone a foot and a half shorter than her. Squinting threateningly at Gen, Root turned away and headed out of the store. The crowd had thinned since they’d arrived and they crossed the room quickly.

When Root was almost at the door, Sameen leapt forward to pull it open for her. She grinned and tossed the last of her cone into the trash.

“See,” she said, spinning on her heel to walk backwards out into the breezy, afternoon air, “this is why Gen isn’t scared of you. The Sameen I met and fell in love with would never open the door for anyone.”

Sameen snorted. “I may have been tougher before, but I was never a heathen. I always open doors for ladies.”

“Ok, softy,” Root laughed, hopping off the sidewalk onto the gravel next to RBG. “Whatever you say.”

“Wipe that smirk off your face or I’ll punch it off.”

“Hmm, promise?”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

The warehouse that they were in had a low ceiling and the overhead lights were incredibly dim. Thankfully, the stage lights around the rink made up for it. Their group had found an empty space on the top of the concrete bleachers surrounding the track and if Root jumped, her fingers would brush the ceiling. Sameen knew because it was the first thing Root did after they climbed the steps.

They weren’t too far from the stage, definitely close enough to tell that the girls racing around the rink had to be half-blind. Sameen glanced at Root on her right and sipped her beer.

The crowd was so loud that Sameen could hardly hear her own thoughts. The second they’d walked into the grimy warehouse to watch the roller derby game, they knew Root would be confined to signing. Gen and Martine didn’t know ASL, but Sameen and Lionel did. Root had been happy to have an excuse to avoid Gen.

Sameen watched Root and Lionel sign at each other over Gen’s head and laughed, slightly drunk. Root’s back was to her, but she could see Lionel furiously demanding a cup of beer. Gen didn’t seem to mind the silent argument happening above her. She was leaning on the metal railing separating them from the game, or ‘bout,’ as she’d called it.

Root had done some research before they came, but apparently Gen was a rabid fan. Sameen rolled her eyes. The ride to the game had been 45 minutes of Gen rattling off every roller derby fact she knew. Sameen hadn’t retained most of the information, but the game looked fun. Two girls bumped shoulders and one fell to the ground. Sameen could get behind a good contact sport.

She took another drink from the red solo cup in her hand, feeling a little unsteady on her feet, and looked to her left. Martine was watching the game, her face blank. Playing with the top button of her shirt, Sameen debated untucking it. It was cold outside, but now, between the lights and the crowd, she was starting to sweat.

Martine seemed fine. Sameen had noticed that Martine stood incredibly still, always. Several times during school, Sameen would walk right passed her before noticing that she was there. Somehow, Martine never seemed to breath.

Feeling Sameen’s gaze, Martine turned around from the game to face her. “Can I help you?” she said loudly, shouting over the crowd.

“You think you’re tough?” Sameen asked, her words slightly slurred. “I could take you.”

“Take me where?” Martine replied, looking confused. “Do you need another beer?”

Sameen glared across the short distance. Martine had used her fake ID to buy them drinks, so she couldn’t be too mean to her. The crowd cheered and Martine turned back to the game, drinking. Root tugged on Sameen’s arm and she slowly spun around.

‘Who are you rooting for?’ Root signed with her free hand, a red cup in the other. ‘The Dead Reckoners or The Lady Killers?’

Sameen shrugged. ‘The Dead Reckoners seem buffer.’

Root nodded, grinning. ‘I do like my women buff.’ She winked and turned back to the game. Root’s eyes were glued to the players in the rink and Sameen had the sudden urge to join a roller derby team. She flexed her biceps, the plastic cup in her hand bending in her firm grip.

Sameen swung around to Martine, her feet shifting to regain her balance. “Fight me!”

“What?” Martine said, looking at her with raised eyebrows. “I’m not going to fight you?”

“Afraid you’d lose?” Sameen ask, smug. She lifted her arm, showing off her muscle. “Thinking about the time I put your boyfriend in the hospital?”

Martine rolled her eyes. “You might win the fight, but I could give you a run for your money.”

Throwing her arms out wide, Sameen puffed her chest out. “Prove it! Punch me!”

“I’m not going to punch you at a roller derby match. Seriously? A girl fight at a bout? Even you aren’t that gay.”

Not sure if she was supposed to be offended, Sameen just threw her head back and drank the last of her beer. She stared into the empty cup, eyes blurry, and wondered if she should have another one. Lionel had offered to drive them back, so she didn’t have to worry about staying sober.

A firm hand on her shoulder pushed her around and Sameen stared at Root. Root nodded over her shoulder, looking annoyed.

‘Lionel got Gen all worked up,’ Root signed. She didn’t seem to be fully sober either. ‘Now they both want beer.’

Sameen leaned to the side to see around Root and glared at Gen and Lionel. “You guys are too young! Only big kids can drink.”

“What!” Lionel said, signing at the same time. “I know for a fact that you and Root were drinking when you were 14.”

Root looked at Sameen and she shrugged. That had been so long ago and so much had happened since; Sameen couldn’t be expected to remember every day of the past three years. Root sighed and shrugged her arms.

‘What are you talking about?’

‘Halloween,’ Lionel signed silently. ‘Martine kissed you. Ring any bells?’

Sameen scowled. Now she remembered. That was pretty high on her list of Things Not To Think About.

Root signed slowly. ‘I blocked that out until right now. Thanks, Lionel.’

“What?” Gen asked loudly, looking between Root and Lionel. “What did you say? Lionel, what are you guys talking about?”

Sameen tuned them out and focused on Martine again. Martine was still staring down at the game, watching the girls fly passed them. For a moment, Sameen wondered if Martine liked girls, but dismissed the thought. She just didn’t care enough.

“I’m serious!” Sameen yelled over the noise of the crowd. “I’ll fight you! I’m the alpha here!”

Martine shook her head and crossed her arms. “If you were the alpha, you wouldn’t be trying so hard.”

Sameen bristled, crushing her cup in her fist. Martine thought she was so cool, tall and blonde and rude. Only Root was allowed to be tall and only Sameen was allowed to be rude. She threw her cup at Martine, smirking when Martine flinched.

“I think you’re just too scared,” Sameen said, stepping into Martine’s space. Her slight wobble made her approach a little less threatening, but she stood her ground. “You don’t want to be as weak as your dumb boyfriend.”

“Fine,” Martine nodded, throwing her cup to the ground. She stretched her neck from side to side, face blank. “I’ll punch you.”

Sameen swallowed hard, excited. It had been a while since she’d been in a good fight. She watched Martine pull her fist back, heart pumping. A hand on her shoulder spun her around and Martine’s fist crashed into Root’s face with a loud crunch.

Root cried out and clamped her hands over her nose, blood running down her mouth and dripping to the floor. Staring at her, brain cloudy, Sameen tried to focus. Root was hurt. She shook her head and stepped forward, wrapping her hands around Root’s wrists and pulling them down.

“Let me see,” she said before remembering Root couldn’t hear anything. “Right.”

She lifted one of Root’s hands and carefully used Root’s fingers to pinch her nose. Stepping back, Sameen signed instructions.

‘Keep holding your nose and lean forward. I’ll take you to the bathroom.’

Root’s eyes were squinted with pain, but she let Sameen turn her around. As they passed Lionel, Sameen glared at him.

“Don’t go anywhere,” she ordered. “We’ll be right back.”

Lionel gave a mock salute and Sameen helped Root to the edge of the bleachers. They carefully walked down the steps, Sameen’s arm around Root’s shoulders, guiding her. It had been a while since Root had been injured, Sameen thought. The injury had never really been her fault before and Sameen knew she should feel guilty.

They crossed the floor behind the bleachers to the bathrooms and Sameen stepped around Root to pull the door open. It was dark inside and Sameen could feel the grime on the walls as she felt around for a light switch. After a moment, she found it and the harsh florescent lights made her squint.

“Ok,” she breathed, stepping inside and holding the door open for Root. Her voice sounded odd to her ears in the quiet of the one room bathroom. “Can you hear me?”

“Yeah,” Root said, her nasal voice too loud for the small space. She winced as it echoed. “Sorry, my ear is ringing.” She used her free hand to gesture at her nose. “Does it look broken?”

Moving Root into better lighting, Sameen stood on her tiptoes to look. “No,” she said, trying to sound reassuring, “just bleeding. Keep pressure on.”

Root sighed, pinching her nose obediently. “That’s good at least. It really hurts. What were you guys doing, anyway?”

“Uh,” Sameen shoved her hands into her pockets, “you should look at yourself in the mirror. You’re getting a black eye.”

Root looked at her suspiciously, but she walked to the mirror. Leaning over the sink, she turned her head, trying to see her eyes around her hand. The area under her eyes was bruising already. Sameen leaned against the wall next to the mirror, running her eyes over Root’s face.

“You look tough,” Sameen joked. “Like you’ve been in a fight.”

Root’s eyes slid to the side to take Sameen in. Sameen smoothed her face, trying to seem casual. She didn’t want to tell Root that she tried to fight Martine. Realizing that made her seem weak, she scowled.

“What are you thinking about?” Root asked. She turned to face Sameen, resting a hip against the sink. “Were you trying to start a fight?”

“No!” Sameen crossed her arms. She tried to stare menacingly at Root, but her last beer was catching up to her. “That’s stupid.”

Root rolled her eyes, the effect lost over her hand. “Is this because Gen said you weren’t scary? Sameen, what is the big deal?”

“Nothing!” Sameen shrugged. Her sneaker squeaked against the dirty tile floor as she pushed off the wall. “I just…don’t want to be seen as weak. I feel like people just see me as your girlfriend now. At least, new people that we meet.”

Carefully pulling her hand away from her nose, Root smiled. “I think you’re strong and scary and mean.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. At least Root had stopped bleeding “Forget it. Wash your hands.”

“Don’t boss me around,” Root said, stepping into Sameen’s space. “I’m in charge here.”

“Excuse me?” Sameen raised her eyebrows, not sure what Root was doing. “What does that mean?”

Root shrugged. She managed to look innocent despite her bloody face. “I’m just saying that I’m in charge. I mean, we already know that you’re the bottom. Why bother pretending that you’re scary at all?”

Root stepped closer, pressing Sameen into the wall and forcing her to look up into her eyes. The rough concrete wall scrapped against Sameen’s bare arms almost painfully. The bloody nose and bruised eyes made Root seem unfamiliar and Sameen’s heart started to race. Root’s hands grabbed her hips and Sameen took a deep breath.

“See?” Root smirked, lowering her head to speak into Sameen’s ear. “You couldn’t stop Lambert from breaking my nose freshman year and you couldn’t protect me tonight.”

Sameen shoved Root away with a grunt. Root stumbled backwards, grinning. Her teeth were bright white against the dark blood around her mouth. She held her arms out.

“Come on, Stud. Show me who’s boss!”

Closing the distance between them in two steps, Sameen put her hands around Root’s face and yanked it down, crushing their lips together. Root moaned loudly, her arms immediately coming up to wrap around Sameen. They stumbled backwards, smacking into the wall next to the door with a thump and Root groaned again into Sameen’s mouth.

“You think you’re so tough,” Root gasped, her hands pulling Sameen’s shirt out of her pants. “You’re just a baby.”

Growling, Sameen reached under Root’s butt, roughly pulling them closer together. The taste of Root’s blood was in her mouth, but all she could focus on were Root’s cold hands on her hot skin. She pulled her head back slightly, panting against Root’s lips, and adjusted her grip.

She lifted Root off the ground, planting her feet and resting their weight against the wall. As Root’s legs wrapped around Sameen’s waist and her hands came up to tangle in Sameen’s loose hair, she grinned.

“Does this seem weak to you?” Sameen asked, her voice raspy and breathless. “This doesn’t even make me sweat.”

Root tightened her grip in Sameen’s hair, making her hiss. “Something’s making you sweat.”

“Well, it’s not because I’m holding you up.”

“Jesus Christ,” Root mumbled, rolling her eyes. “Shut up and fuck me.”

Sameen’s hips jerked forward, pushing into Root and making her cry out. The noises Root made when Sameen touched her drove her crazy. Every time they did it, it got better and Sameen was looking forward to sex five years from now.

Moving one arm to hold all of Root’s weight, Sameen pushed her T-shirt up with the other. Even though she’d watched her get dressed a few hours ago, Sameen grinned at the sight of Root’s lace bra. They’d gone to the Victoria’s Secret in Kingsville and spent Harold’s money on expensive underwear.

Root’s chest heaved as she sucked in air and Sameen leaned forward to sink her teeth into Root’s stomach. An odd sound made her look up.

Her eyes met Gen’s. Gen was standing in the doorway, her face a dark red. The silence in the room stretched awkwardly and Root dropped her legs, stepping to the side and away from Sameen.

“I’m sorry!” Gen shouted. She ran out of the room, the door closing with a loud click behind her.

Root sighed loudly and pulled her shirt down. “Kids, am I right?”

Laughing, Sameen crossed to the mirror. She looked like a mess. Her hair had fallen out of its ponytail and her mouth was smeared red from Root’s nosebleed. She turned the faucet on and started rinsing her face.

Long arms reached around her and Root dug her hands into Sameen’s front pockets. Fumbling for paper towels with her eyes closed, Sameen could feel Root press into her back.

“Maybe Gen will stop following you around like a puppy now,” Root joked. “Do you think she’ll be at soccer practice on Monday?”

Sameen wiped her face and turned around, Root’s hands moving away. “Probably. She’s not too bad, actually. It would be a loss.”

Root smiled at her and stepped up to the sink to wash her face. Sameen watched her for a moment before heading for the door. They should probably apologize for ditching the group to make out in the bathroom. Not that she was sorry.

Opening the door and stepping out into the warehouse, Sameen rolled her eyes. Gen was hiding behind Martine, her face still red. Martine and Lionel had their arms crossed, glaring at her.

“Just when I thought life with you couldn’t get any gayer, you take it to the next level.” Lionel said, signing along. “Sex in a warehouse with a broken nose during a roller derby game? Seriously?”

Sameen rolled her eyes, not bothering with an answer. She saw Lionel’s eyes move passed her and turned around to see the end of Root’s sentence, but couldn’t piece it together. Lionel just scoffed and starting walking away.

Martine shrugged, indifferent. “The Dead Reckoners won. Are you ready to go home?”

“Yeah,” Sameen answered. “We can go.”

She started following Lionel out to the parking lot, Root at her side. It had been a fun night, despite Root’s injury. Maybe she really would learn to roller skate. She was already great with inline skates; how hard could the four-wheel version be?

Root’s arm hooked her own and Sameen looked over. The bruises around Root’s eyes had darkened and they were going to have to explain what happened to Harold and Grace. It was a long drive back; the group would think of something plausible.

“When we get home,” Root said quietly, “let’s finish what we started. You can show me how strong you really are.”

Sameen grinned and picked up the pace.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root stared up at the posters taped to her ceiling. She’d found a huge X-Files poster at a Goodwill a couple of weeks ago and they’d taped it above the bed in her room. They should re-watch it soon. It was weird how one show could mean so many different things to them. It was how they’d first bonded, then it was too hard to watch while they were fighting. Now, it meant they’d reconciled for good.

She turned her head, staring out the window next to her bed. They’d shoved the bed against the wall when they’d gotten back. They kept trying to make the room feel right, but it wasn’t there yet. Harold’s house just didn’t feel familiar. She’d only lived in it for a few months before going to Houston and they had only been back for six weeks.

Sitting up, Root looked around for Sameen and spotted her across the room, sitting on the floor in front of Root’s chalkboard wall. Root couldn’t remember falling asleep, but a quick glance at her phone told her it was almost 4am. Their post-derby activities had exhausted her. There was a text from Lionel and three texts from Martine. She ignored them.

Sameen’s drawing was only half-done, but Root could already tell it was them. They were standing next to the large train Sameen had drawn last weekend. It was hard to believe they were almost out of Bishop. They could board a train in eight months and ride off to college, never look back.

She gingerly felt her nose. It didn’t hurt as much as it had a few hours ago. Thankfully, they kept pain meds in Sameen’s car, so she could start medicating right away. The ringing in her ears had subsided, too. Root was almost used to her hearing loss now. It still gave her a headache sometimes, it probably always would, but she knew what to expect now.

Root took a deep breath and pushed the blankets off her lap. Crawling across the bed, she reached for her window and slid it open. A light breeze blew over her naked body and she shivered.

“It’s cold out there,” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes gently. “It’s going to be a cold winter.”

Sameen didn’t turn around. “I’d hardly call this cold. It’s…pleasant.”

Root let out a short laugh, sticking her head outside. “Fine. It’s going to be a ‘pleasant’ winter.”

“Thank god,” Sameen sighed. “I have so many jackets that I’ve never worn here.”

The sound of an owl floated into the room and Root leaned her arms on the windowsill. Her window looked over the backyard and there were no neighbors in this direction, so she wasn’t worried about being naked. A streetlight illuminated the large backyard and reflected in the pool. Their neighborhood was quiet, always silent.

The bed shifted behind her and Root looked behind her, resting her chin on her shoulder. Sameen crossed the bed on her knees, dropping to sit next to her. Their shoulders bumped together and Root smiled. It was weird that Sameen still had clothing Root hadn’t seen. There were still things to learn about each other.

“Earth to Root,” Sameen chuckled, nudging Root’s shoulder with her own. “What are you think about?”

“I love you,” Root answered quietly. She reached out and took Sameen’s hand in her own. “A lot.”

“Yeah,” Sameen replied, looking out the window. “I love you, too.”

Root dropped Sameen’s hand and scooted off the bed. Opening her closet door, she smiled over her shoulder at Sameen. “Get dressed.”

“What?” Sameen groaned, but she climbed off the bed, too. “How dressed?”

“Not naked.”

Root turned back to the closet and pulled out a long robe that Grace had bought for her. It was insanely soft and actually brushed the floor. Pulling her arms through it, she crossed to her dresser and took the underwear Sameen offered her.

“I think we might be too close,” Sameen joked, opening her drawer in the dresser and taking out a pair of pajama pants. “Not even married and we keep clothing at the others place.”

“Sameen,” Root smirked, raising an eyebrow, “we basically lived together a couple months after becoming friends.”

Sameen nodded, conceding and finished getting dressed. Looking around, she sighed. “Do I need shoes?”

Root thought for a moment as she tied her robe shut. “No,” she answered, shaking her head. “I don’t think so.”

She crossed the room and climbed onto the bed. It only took them a couple minutes to climb out the window and up to the roof.

Root had first climbed up here a couple days after school started. They hadn’t spent the night together and her bed had felt too big. Sitting under the stars had made her feel so lonely that her bed was a comfort.

Sameen sat down next to her, resting her feet on the cool shingles and shoving her hands in her pockets. They stared around the neighborhood in silence for a while, just taking in the houses around them and enjoying the breeze.

“We should go to a dark sky park,” Sameen said, breaking the silence. “We could go camping.”

Root nodded and wrapped her arms around her knees. “It’d be like we were on a roadtrip again. It sounds nice.”

“Yeah,” Sameen breathed. “When we go to college, you have to let me know when you feel trapped. We’ll leave the city for the weekend or something. Find a good spot. Scream at some trains.”

That made Root smile. “I feel too big for my skin sometimes. Like I’m a giant in a dwarf’s body. I can’t explain it.”

“I wouldn’t understand.”

Root looked at Sameen and drank in the sight of her face in the moonlight. Sameen was beautiful. Root knew that, but sometimes it really hit her. Her strong jawline, dark hair, and deep eyes captivated Root. She’d kill a thousand men to keep Sameen close to her.

Sameen’s jaw clenched and Root reached out to run her finger over the tense muscles. “What are you thinking about?”

Sameen scratched her chin and stared in the direction of her house. “I’m sorry for being so insecure earlier. I don’t know what happened. I was thinking about leaving Bishop and I thought about how much I’d changed since I moved here… It made me mad. Not…It’s not bad. I’m glad I’m not so angry, but…I don’t know.”

“Is it about your parents?”

Stretching her legs in front of her, Sameen dropped her head back. The end of her ponytail brushed against the roof and Root made a mental note to make an appointment at Mrs. Rousseau’s. Sameen didn’t answer and Root looked away, staring at the horizon.

“Orion should be back soon,” she said, changing the subject. “Goodbye, Sagittas. Hello, Archer.”

“We should get tattoos. Orion tattoos.”

Root laughed, her voice carrying down the quiet street. “We already have matching tattoos. You want to get another one?”

Sameen winced. “Yeah, ok. You’re right. You can get an Orion tattoo.”

“And you’ll get a Sagittas one? In addition to your Axis II tattoo?” Root nudged Sameen with her shoulder. “You’ll look so cool. The nerd and the badass.”

Shaking her finger in front of her, Sameen smirked. “Astronomy Tattoos are nerdy, too. That’s why you should get it.”

“Whatever,” Root mumbled, smiling. She felt light and happy. “Do you think Gen hates us now?”

Sameen leaned back on her hands, squinting up at the sky. “I doubt it. She’s probably scared of me again. Imagine walking in on, I don’t know, Martine and Lambert making out, their faces smeared with blood.”

Root laughed. “I’d rather not. I don’t want to think about them at all in any way.”

“God, it’s so weird that we hang out with Martine now.”

“Things change, I guess.” Root yawned, her eyes tearing up. “I’m too sleepy to be on the roof.”

“You’re the one who dragged us out here!” Sameen threw her arms up. “We could be asleep right now!”

“Shhh,” Root said, laughing. “You’re going to wake everyone up.”

Sameen climbed to her feet, steady despite the roof’s incline. She took a deep breath and howled as loudly as she could. The sound shattered the quiet of the neighborhood, filling the air and sending a flock of birds streaking towards the sky.

Root saw a light turn on across the street and cursed. “Come on, crazy!” She grabbed Sameen’s arm and pulled her back down to the first level of roof. “You’re going to get me grounded.”

“You deserve it,” Sameen laughed as the hurried back through the window. “Dragging me outside at 4am.”

They dropped down onto the bed, laughing. Root swept her eyes over Sameen’s face, amazed at how lucky she was. Sameen sighed and stretched out to cover most of the bed. Her face looked calm, better than it had at the game.

“I’m sleeping like this,” Sameen announced. “Deal with it.”

Root tore her robe off and tossed it off the bed. Flopping down, she covered Sameen’s body with her own, sighing happily. “No problemo.”

“Weirdo,” Sameen muttered, but she just adjusted herself to be comfortable under Root’s body. “Goodnight.”

Root closed her eyes as Sameen’s strong arms wrapped around her shoulders. “Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Gen!  
> Next up: Some Martine!


	52. Places to Rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I post a chapter last week? Has it only been a week?
> 
> If I keep blowing off homework on wednesdays, I can write a chapter a week. That will only last for so long because I have so much homework. 
> 
> <3

The wind blew Root’s hair out of her face and she watched Sameen lazily zig zag in front of her. They were on their way to Martine’s for a party. The weather was so nice that they’d decided to ride their bikes out to the new subdivision. Root pushed herself onto her toes, letting the bike swing between her legs as she pedaled.

Sameen glanced over her shoulder and slowed down. Quickly catching up, Root stuck a leg out to kick Sameen, but ended up losing her balance and falling to the side. Sameen caught her arm and pulled her upright, laughing.

“You’ve been riding a bike your entire life and you still can’t stay vertical.”

Root rolled her eyes. “You moved away from me! I’m a master biker.”

“You’re a master something,” Sameen snorted. She looked out over the neighborhood as she sat back and pushed up the sleeves of her hoodie. “Why is Martine having a party at two pm on a Sunday?”

Root shrugged and squinted up at the sunny sky. It was mid-October, just over a week and a half from Halloween, but Martine had texted them last night and told them to come over. It was cold enough for Sameen to wear a sweater and Root had a long sleeve dress, so they’d decided to go.

“Did the text say ‘party’ specifically?” Sameen asked, throwing her hair over her shoulder. “There’s no one here.”

They rolled to a stop in front of Martine’s house and Root dropped her foot onto the street to steady herself. There was only one car in the driveway and the usual pump of bass was missing. It didn’t seem like a party. She pulled out her phone and opened Martine’s text.

“Come over. There will be food. Hang out,” Root read out loud.

“Jesus,” Sameen muttered, throwing her leg over the bike, “she texts like John.”

Root laughed and climbed off the bike, using a hand to hold her skirt down. They walked to the front door and leaned the bikes against the garage door. Staring up at Martine’s house, Root sighed, jealous.

“Let’s get a house like this when we’re grown up,” Root said.

Sameen threw her arm around Root’s shoulders. “How about we get your old man to buy us a house in Boston for college?”

“Maybe we should rent?” Root reached up to play with Sameen’s hand. “We’ll want the freedom to go anywhere for grad school.”

“Always planning ahead,” Sameen said, pulling away and walking to the front door. “We just sent our applications in today and you’re already thinking about grad school.”

Root grinned as Sameen knocked on the front door. Mrs. Reese, Harold, and Grace had hovered behind them as they sent their applications in, cheering them on. Once they’d done it, their parents had pulled out college T-shirts and immediately started singing fight songs. It had taken almost half an hour to get them to stop.

Sameen winked at Root over her shoulder. “Ready to drink Martine’s alcohol?”

The front door opened and Mrs. Rousseau grinned at them. Root’s stomach sank. This was not a party.

“Girls!” Mrs. Rousseau stepped aside and gestured for them to come in. “I’m glad you came.”

Root smiled nervously, following Sameen inside. They’d never been here during the day before, or when it wasn’t packed. Martine’s house was bigger when it was empty and Root felt out of place in the fancy foyer. She poked her head into the dining room as Mrs. Rousseau led them into the kitchen.

Sameen leaned close to her. “Do you think she knows we made out in the bathroom?” she asked in a low voice.

Root snickered, covering her mouth. “Think she knows you threw up all over that very same bathroom?”

She dodged Sameen’s elbow as they stopped in the kitchen. Mrs. Rousseau turned around, smiling.

“It’s so nice that you girls are finally hanging out with Martine. She told me you were all friends now!”

Root smoothed down the front of her dress, trying not to laugh. Beside her, Sameen’s face was blank and Root wished she could control her emotions like that.

“We are friends,” Root confirmed. “Yes.”

Mrs. Rousseau’s eyes crinkled. “I know it’s a bit late to be getting close, but I want you girls to know that I fully support this friendship. Martine has always hung out with boys before, and I know it’s just not good for her! She needs nice girls like you two to be a good influence on her.”

“Mother,” Martine’s voice said from behind them, “stop talking.”

Root and Sameen turned around to see Martine in the entranceway, dressed casually. Her arms were crossed in front of her, a scowl pulling her face down. Root realized this might be the first time Martine’s been embarrassed by her mother in front of friends like this. It made her sad, but then she remembered Martine was mostly awful and she didn’t feel as bad for her.

“Sorry, honey,” Mrs. Rousseau apologized. She picked up a tray of sandwiches from the counter and pushed it into Root’s hands. “A little snack for you girls.”

Root adjusted her hands on the tray, smiling awkwardly. The kitchen was silent for a few seconds and Root wasn’t sure what to do. Sameen still looked empty and Martine was still scowling like she was going to kill someone.

“Uh,” Root tried, “want to…go…somewhere?”

Martine rolled her eyes, but she turned around and headed out into the hall. Root hurried after her, hands clenched around the tray. She expected Martine to lead them into the living room, or even some fancy tea room, but she turned right when she got to the hallway and led them upstairs. Root’s knuckles turned white around the tray.

As they climbed the stairs, Root’s stomach clenched. The last time she’d gone upstairs, she’d been with Hanna and the last time she’d been in Martine’s room… Root glanced at Sameen as they reached the second floor. Sameen’s face was neutral, but the muscle in her jaw was clenched and her hands were shoved deep into the pockets of her sweater.

Root leaned into Sameen. “If you make out with Martine for revenge, I’ll have to kill you,” she joked, quietly. “I just want you to know.”

Sameen glared at her, but her jaw unclenched. “I’d rather be tortured with a hot iron than kiss Martine.”

“Good!” Root said, grinning at her.

Martine stopped in front of her room, hesitating. Root watched her face, but it stayed carefully blank. A second later, she blinked and pushed the door open.

“Don’t make fun of my room,” she ordered over her shoulder. “My mom won’t let me change it.”

Root smiled. As much as she tried to block out that night, Martine’s pink walls and pale cream carpet were fixed in her brain. Root could remember lace curtains, too. They walked in and Sameen whistled. It was twice as big as Sameen’s room, and even Root’s room at Harold’s.

At the far end of the room was a large desk covered in books and papers. That was why Martine was third in their class, a messy desk was good to no one. Root walked across the room and set the tray on Tess of the D’Ubervilles.

The room was silent as Root stared down at the sandwiches. They’d never hung out with just Martine before. Normally, Gen and Lionel were with them and both of them were talkative enough to pick up the slack. Even when Root wasn’t there, Sameen and Martine had the soccer team as a buffer. Root was almost afraid to look over her shoulder and try to act normal.

Sighing, she picked up a ham and cheese sandwich and turned around. She laughed out loud. Martine and Sameen were standing three feet apart in the middle of the room, hands shoved in their pockets. Root put her free hand on her hip and raised her eyebrows.

“This doesn’t have to be weird,” she said. Root gestured with her sandwich. “Talk about something.”

Sameen scoffed, but her shoulders relaxed a little bit. She looked around the room and moved to sit on the small bench under the window. Root took a bite of the sandwich and watched Martine drop heavily onto her bed.

“So…” Root started, her mouth full, “how’s soccer going?” She leaned back against the desk. “Make any goals?”

Martine crossed her legs under her, her body tilting from side to side as she got comfortable. “Your girlfriend didn’t tell you?”

“We mostly just make out,” Sameen answered. “Not a lot of talking.”

Root snorted and moved to sit in the desk chair. She lazily spun herself, taking another bite. “Your mom’s a great sandwich maker, Martine. My compliments to the chef.”

Martine leaned back on her hands. “She’s been making sandwiches for long enough. They better be good. Why do you want to know about soccer? Sameen’s the captain.”

“Oh my god,” Root said, shaking her head. “I’m being friendly! I’m pretty sure you don’t actually like anything, but I know you play soccer. Jesus, your last group of friends were super shitty.”

“Don’t talk about Lambert,” Martine shot back, leaning forward. “He’s off-limits.”

Root frowned and looked at Sameen. Sameen just shrugged and nodded towards the sandwiches, silently asking for one. Stretching across the distance to hand her one, Root glanced at Martine. Her face was drawn down into a frown and Root thought about how weird it was to see someone so tough look upset.

For a moment, she wondered what made Martine and Sameen so different. They were both stoic, athletic, silent types. Sameen had never been as mean to her as Martine had, though. She’d never insulted her mother or pretended to like her. Root smiled at Sameen and pushed the thought from her head. Sameen was so much better than anyone on Earth and Root would never have gone for Martine.

Sameen took the sandwich from her, winking, and sat back in her chair. “The lady asked you a question, Rousseau.”

Martine rolled her eyes, but her lips quirked up with the hint of a smile. “Soccer is going just fine. It seems dumb to join a team when we’re so close to graduating, but I did get to punch someone last week.”

“Did I tell you about that?” Sameen asked, putting a foot on the bench and rested her elbow on her knee. “She almost knocked her teeth out.” She smirked at Root. “It was pretty hot.”

“Gross,” Root mumbled around her sandwich. “Sorry I missed it.”

“Where were you?” Martine asked. “Aliens hosting a conference?”

“Close!” Root answered, making them snicker. “Science bowl.”

Martine climbed to her feet, heading for the sandwiches. “That’s cool. I would never, but someone has to do it.”

Sameen swallowed her mouthful, glaring at Martine. “It sounds like you’re being rude to your captain’s girlfriend, but that can’t be right.”

Martine rolled her eyes, picking up a sandwich. “I mean it. I’m the athletic type, but grades are important. You two know that.”

“Well, I do,” Root laughed. She stuck her tongue out at Sameen. “Sameen is second in our class.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Sameen snorted. “When I get into Harvard, we’ll see who’s laughing.”

Martine took a bite of her sandwich, glancing between them as leaned on the desk. “You’re applying to Harvard? So am I.”

“Nice!” Root cheered. She swallowed the last of her sandwich. She picked up another and leaned forward to give it to Sameen. “We can be study buddies.”

“Whatever,” Martine shrugged. “I’m going to be busy with MMA stuff.”

Root looked at Sameen, smiling as her eyes lit up. Now, they were going to spend all day talking about fighting. Root knew Sameen well-enough to know that she could talk about professional fighters all day long. Root picked up a sandwich and settled in for the long haul.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen stared up at the screen, trying to ignore Root’s shifting. Bishop was playing The Wizard of Oz in the park and, since they’d been so busy with friends recently, they’d decided to come out, make fun of the locals, and watch a movie. They rarely went on real dates and Root had made it clear she wanted individual attention.

Considering they were in the middle of the park, surrounded by almost everyone in town, ‘individual’ was a loose term. Sameen looked around, spotting Harold, Grace, and Mrs. Reese on a blanket a few rows in front of them. The movie was loud enough that they could sit near the back of the crowd and still understand what was happening. Root wiggled again, and Sameen glared at her.

“What is wrong with you?” she asked. “I thought you loved this movie.”

Root pulled their blanket tighter around herself. “I’m cold! It’s like 55 degrees!”

Sameen rolled her eyes, but opened her legs and let Root press her back against Sameen’s front. Wrapping the blanket around them, she shifted her head to the side and rested her chin on Root’s left shoulder, wrapping her arms Root’s stomach. On the screen, Dorothy poured oil in various rusty joints.

“We were almost the Wizard of Oz gang for Halloween, you know,” Root said, relaxing into Sameen’s arms. “Stupid Lionel.”

“What? What did Lionel do?” Sameen stretched her legs out. “Oh. His lion outfit?”

Root nodded. “Yup, I wanted be Dorothy and you would have been the scarecrow.”

“Seriously?” Sameen scoffed loudly. She threw her ponytail over her shoulder. “I guess John would make a better tin man than I would.”

Root laughed and scooted even closer. “It’s nice to get some alone time that doesn’t infringe on our sleep schedule. I’m getting tired and it’s not a good look for me.”

“I don’t know,” Sameen said. “You look pretty good to me.”

Root turned over, her face inches from Sameen. “Compliment me again! I’m vain and I need it.”

Chuckling, Sameen fell backwards, pulling Root with her. The blanket fell to the ground and Root shivered in the cool, evening air. Sameen tangled her legs in Root’s. She was glad for the cold weather, but their pants prevented skin to skin contact and she found herself missing it. Root pushed her hair from her face, glaring down at Sameen.

“Sameen!” Root pouted. “Compliment me again.”

Rolling her eyes, Sameen craned her neck up to press a quick kiss to Root’s lips. “You’re very pretty, Root, and very smart.”

Root hummed and dropped her head onto Sameen’s chest. She reached out awkwardly, her arms at odd angles as she tried to wrap the blanket around them. Her interest in the movie had disappear and it seemed like she just wanted to cuddle up to Sameen.

“I think people are watching us,” Sameen said, not bothering to look around. “Control is probably going to yell at us for being indecent.”

“Let her,” Root replied, finally succeeding in cocooning them. “I’ll remind her that we’re the top of our class and we’re going to be the first people from Bishop to go to an ivy league school.”

Sameen just tightened her arms around Root and closed her eyes. After their rough summer, she was looking forward to living together under better circumstances. They’d be somewhere with an actual winter. Sameen would be there when Root saw her first snow. They had their whole lives in front of them.

Before Root, Sameen had never really thought about her future. Sure, she knew that eventually she’d go to college and get a job, but who knows what she would have become without Root. She could have become like Martine, just angry and alone. Root was good for her, even if Sameen couldn’t fully appreciate it.

“Eww,” a girl’s voice came from above them, “get a room!”

Sameen cracked an eye open to see Gen’s face staring down at her. Lionel and Martine were with her and Sameen groaned loudly.

“These guys just won’t quit.” She tried to sit up, but Root didn’t move. Sameen leaned closer and realized that she had fallen asleep. “Well,” she said, lowering her voice, “you can sit, but we’re laying down.”

Gen giggled and sat on their blanket. Sameen stared up at the stars as they all got comfortable. Orion wasn’t fully above them yet, but she knew that behind her, he was peeking over the horizon. If I Only Had A Brain floated to them from the screen.

“Root’s kind of ok,” Gen said from Sameen’s left. “She’s still annoying, obviously, but she helped me spy on Mr. Greer. Her tech skills make up for her weirdness.”

Lionel snorted. “She’s definitely weird, but I think she’s pretty cool. She’s almost got a six-pack, you know.”

“Whatever,” Gen replied. “A lot of people almost have a six-pack. I almost have a six-pack." Sameen turned to glare at her. Gen held her hands up defensively. "I’m trying to be nice! I said she was ok.”

“You said ‘kind of ok,’” Martine laughed from somewhere beyond Gen. “That’s not the same.”

Sameen tuned them out, closing her eyes again. It was nice that Gen was starting to come around, but Sameen couldn’t bring herself to care. She focused on Root’s even breathing, sliding her hands over Root’s back. They were warm this close, the blanket wrapped around them, and the smell of Root’s hair in her nose. Root wiggled in her sleep, rubbing her face on Sameen's neck. Sameen relaxed and let herself drift off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every chapter I post gets us one chapter closer to the end. 9 more to go.


	53. Wonderwall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exactly 14 days

Sameen dropped a stack of red solo cups onto the kitchen island. They were at Martine’s house helping her set up for the Halloween party. Well, she and Root were setting up and Martine was taking a shower. She started spreading the cups out neatly.

Martine had been inviting them over a couple times a week since their first time; she even invited Lionel and Gen most days. It was weird to be friends with her former Nemesis, but Martine had calmed down since Lambert left and she was a beast on the soccer field. Sameen enjoyed hanging out with her and Root enjoyed beating Gen at video games.

Root kicked her feet against the counter she was sitting on, her heels making the cabinet doors bang against their frames. Biting off the last her apple, she rolled her eyes.

“Greer needs to accept that I’m not a cook,” Root mumbled, her mouth full. “I was so good at sewing! Why can’t he just let cooking slide? I hate Home Ec.”

Sameen shrugged. “You like Home Ec. when I’m cooking.”

“That’s different,” Root said, swallowing. “You’re excellent. I’m trash.”

Squatting down to open the island’s cabinet, Sameen rolled her eyes. “We’ll study over Winter Break. Maybe you can get a B on the midterm.” She pulled the doors open, revealing an impressive number of liquor bottles. “Let’s have a liquor cabinet like this when we’re older.”

Root jumped off the counter and tossed the apple core into the trash. “I’ll pull the beer out of the fridge.”

Sameen glanced over her shoulder at Root as she bent over to look in the fridge. The green cargo pants Root was wearing hid her figure and Sameen frowned. They’d come as Kim and Shego from Kim Possible. The tight green and black jumpsuit she was wearing showed off her muscles and Sameen told herself that that was the reason she’d agreed to the stupid costume. It definitely wasn’t because Root had asked, pouting and naked.

“Wanna bet Martine makes an alcoholic joke before the night is over?” Root said, pulling the beer out of the fridge and turning around. Sameen spun back to the liquor bottles, but Root caught her looking. “Enjoying the view?”

“I’d enjoy it more if you were wearing something tighter,” Sameen answered, wrapping her arms around as many bottles as she could and standing up. She placed them on the island, carefully letting go. “We’re still making out in Martine’s bathroom, right? It’s our anniversary.”

The beer clinked against the marble countertop as Root dropped them. She rested her hip against the counter and smiled softly.

“I’m glad we’re back together. I know last Halloween was hard for you. For us.”

Sameen flipped her ponytail over her shoulder. Last year, Root had been unreachable and absent, still lost in her depression. This year, they were in matching costumes, just like they should be. The only thing missing was John and the girls and a family photo. She smiled back at Root.

“Me too. Too bad no one is gonna get punched this year.” Sameen sighed, wistfully. “I miss punching people.”

“One calm Halloween,” Root said, laughing. “Is that too much to ask?”

Sameen closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to Root’s. They could have a calm Halloween, just kiss and drink and make fun of their friends. Root’s bare stomach was smooth under Sameen’s hands. Sameen pretended not to notice her favorite black crop top had been tailored to fit Root’s lean frame.

“Ugh,” Martine groaned from the doorway, “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

Sameen turned to look at her, eyebrows raising when she saw what Martine was wearing. It seemed like she’d just given up. Her grey sweatpants and Bishop High sweatshirt practically screamed ‘single and I will kill you if you try to mingle.’

“No costume?” Root asked from behind her, voice high as she tried to sound casual. “Or…is this…a costume?”

Martine glared at them. “I don’t want Hersch thinking I care that he’s a douche.”

“Well,” Sameen started, crossing her arms, “maybe there’s a better way than flashing your school spirit.”

“Like what?”

“Like…” Sameen couldn’t think of anything. She looked over her shoulder at Root, silently begging for help. “Like…?”

“Like a costume!” Root said, grinning. She clapped her hands excitedly. “Do you have any upstairs?”

Martine shook her head and grabbed a bottle of tequila, sliding it towards her. Sameen handed her a cup and watched as she poured way more than a shot. Maybe a calm Halloween really was too much to ask. Martine downed the tequila in a single gulp and started pouring more.

“Ok,” Root said, stepping around Sameen with an awkward smile. “We’re gonna find you something nice to wear.”

She winked at Sameen as she hooked her arm in Martine’s and lead her out of the room. The bottle of tequila went with them. The front door opened, and Sameen reached for Martine’s forgotten cup, drinking what was left. Music floated in from the living room and she rolled her eyes. Lionel and Gen must have arrived.

A moment later, Gen appeared in the doorway, dressed like Kim Possible. Her face lit up when she saw Sameen dressed as Shego.

“Oh no,” Sameen groaned. She put her hands on her hips. “Root’s gonna kill you.”

Gen’s face dropped. “Why?”

“She’s dressed as Kim, too,” Sameen answered. She gestured to herself. “Do I seem like someone who would pick this?”

Gen rolled her eyes and stomped into the kitchen. “Shego’s really cool. She has magic and she’s really pretty. I want to be like her.”

Sameen smiled, remembering how Root said the same thing about Scully. “Then why didn’t you dress like her?”

“I couldn’t get another costume,” Gen mumbled, leaning against the island. “My mom was really busy.” She reached for a solo cup.

Quickly, Sameen snatched it out of her hands. “Not for you,” she scowled. “You’re too young.”

“Seriously?” Gen scowled. “How about a beer? You and Root had beer freshman year!”

Sameen tapped the plastic cup on the counter for a moment. It was hard being small in a new place; she knew from personal experience. Gen needed friends to help her out and Sameen and Root could be a little nicer to her. Nodding, she pulled a beer towards herself and twisted the lid off. Holding it out, she jerked it away before Gen could grab it.

“One,” Sameen said, threateningly. She fixed Gen with her best hard stare. “You get one beer. That’s all Root and I had and you’re trying to follow our lead, for some reason.”

She waited until Gen nodded before handing it over. Gen was a good kid and part of being a good friend was making sure she didn’t embarrass herself. Rolling her eyes, Sameen started to mix her own drink. When had she become the mom of the group?

Gen took a large drink, her face scrunching up at the taste. “Ugh,” she said, wincing, “this doesn’t taste good. Why do people drink this?”

“Um, lowered inhibitions and an excuse for debauchery?”

“Whatever,” Gen scoffed. She took another sip of beer. “I have to use the bathroom.”

Sameen smirked. “Don’t use the one by the living room.” She learned across the island and lowered her voice. "Root and I are gonna bang in there later."

“Gross!” Gen moved away from her, looking scandalized. “I still have the last time seared into my brain.”

“The last time?” Sameen laughed. “Yeah, that wasn’t the last time we had sex. Or the last time we had sex in a bathroom.”

“Stop it,” Gen demanded, her hand clenched around her bottle. She pressed her back against the wall, trying to get as far from Sameen as possible. “You share too much! I’m too young for this! Also, I like boys!”

Martine stumbled into the kitchen, looking fabulous. Root had managed to wrangle her into a dress and a full face of make-up. She leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms. The tequila bottle was suspiciously absent.

“What’s up, nerds?” Martine asked, with a slow blink. “I’m hot.”

Sameen pushed her lips together, not sure how to take that. “I have a girlfriend.”

“And I like boys!” Gen repeated. She took another nervous sip of beer.

Martine stared at her for a moment before shrugging. “Cool. Some of us do. I mean, not me.” She pushed a hand into her chest. “I hate them. I hate men. I would…I’d kill them.”

“Where’s Root?” Sameen asked, opening a bottle of needlessly expensive vodka. “Did you kill her by mistake?”

The missing tequila bottle appeared in the doorway, followed by Root’s grinning face. “Someone call for us?”

Sameen shook her vodka bottle. “I’m good. How is she so drunk?”

Root laughed and walked into the kitchen, taking a sip out of the bottle. “She started drinking earlier. Also, I think she weighs like 3 pounds.”

Her eyes landed on Gen and she frowned. Their costumes were almost identical, but Root’s was better quality. Sameen ran her eyes over Gen, fully taking her in. Her clothing was a little small on her, like it was an old costume. She’d looped a thin rope through her belt loops to use as a belt. Sameen started mixing herself a drink.

“Seriously?” Root asked, her arms dropping to hang at her side. “I told you I was dressing up as Kim Possible like two weeks ago! You couldn’t come as anything else?”

Gen crossed her arms defensively. “I can do whatever I want,” she shot back. “I’m no one’s sidekick.”

They turned to look at Sameen in unison. She picked up her drink and waved a finger.

“No, thank you,” she chuckled dryly. “No.” She started for the doorway, snatching a beer for Lionel. He’d never stop whining if she gave Gen a drink and not him. “Come on, killer,” she said to Martine, nudging her out into the hall. “Let’s greet our guests.”

Martine rolled her eyes, but followed Sameen into the living room, pulling the tequila bottle from Root’s hand as she passed. The music in the living room was muffled by voices now that kids from school had started arriving. Sameen looked around the crowd for anyone she recognized, but most of her high school career had been about avoiding her classmates. A couple girls from the soccer team smiled at her and she nodded, sipping her drink.

“Oh god,” Martine groaned, “Tomas is here.”

Sameen followed her outstretched finger, frowning. Tomas was in the corner of the living room, wearing his favorite leather jacket. She made a mental note to buy Root a new jacket for her birthday, the elbows were really worn down. Her eyes met Tomas’ and he waved at her, smiling. Rolling her eyes, she turned around and looked for Lionel.

“Why do you invite college kids? Why do they come?” Sameen asked, her eyes scanning the room.

Martine shrugged and took a drink straight from her bottle. “High school girls are easy?”

She finally saw Lionel flirting with some girl across the room and started towards him. Unsteady footsteps behind her told her Martine was following along. The girl Lionel was talking to noticed them and her eyes widened.

“Anyway, nice to talk to you,” the girl stuttered before hurrying away.

Lionel sighed and turned around, rolling his eyes when he saw them. “You guys are the worst. I’m never going to get a girlfriend while you’re around.”

“What?” Sameen asked, offended. “Why not?”

“We’re scary,” Martine whispered in her ear. “They think we’re going to murder them.”

“Oh.” Sameen took another drink and shrugged. “Good. I promised John that I’d look after you, bro.”

“Thanks,” Lionel said, dryly.

Sameen handed him the beer and looked around for Root. She and Gen were nowhere to be seen. She ran a hand over her stomach, the lycra jumpsuit making her sweat. It was a cold night, but with so many kids in one room, it felt hot. Maybe Gen and Root were still chatting in the kitchen.

“Gen! Come back here!”

Gen raced into the living room, passed their group, and into the bathroom. The door slammed loudly. A moment later, Root appeared at their sides. Sameen frowned.

“She better not be in there too long,” Sameen said to Root. “I wanted to make out in there like old times.”

“Old times?” Martine frowned at her. “Have you made out in my bathroom before?”

“Yes,” Sameen answered. “We’ve made out in several rooms of this house.”

“Gross,” Lionel said, forehead scrunching down. “Why do you guys even leave your room?”

“God if I know,” Sameen snorted, taking a drink.

Root put her hands on her hips and turned to the group. “I don’t know why she’s so mad. I was just teasing her.”

Martine swayed on her feet, running a hand through her hair. “What did you say?”

“I asked if she had any other friends and-“

“She doesn’t,” Lionel cut in. “Just us.”

Root frowned at him, eyes narrowing. “And then I said if she wanted to hang out with older people so much, she should hang out with her mom.”

“Yikes,” Martine snorted. She raised her tequila bottle to her lips, but didn’t drink. “Her mom’s a bitch. I mean…” Her eyes blinked slowly. “I think she’s a bitch, so…That’s a lot.”

Sameen chuckled. “Like…Root’s mom ‘bitch’ or what?”

“Thanks,” Root muttered, rolling her eyes. She pulled the cup from Sameen’s hand, taking a drink.

Sameen just shrugged. “Your mom sets ‘bitch’ at a high bar. Am I wrong?”

“Gen’s mom is a different sort of bitch,” Lionel answered before Root could say anything. “She’s just really mean for no reason and her dad is always away on business. Her cousin is a drug dealer. He sells the stuff that even Elias won’t touch.”

“Her mom called her a failure one time,” Martine added. “She was dropping her off at school one day and Gen asked if she was going to come to the soccer game that day and her mom was like ‘I’ll watch a game when you’re top of your class. You’re no good to us as a failure.’ That kind of bitch.”

Root sighed loudly. “Fuck. I didn’t know.” She handed the cup back to Sameen and started for the bathroom.

“Well,” Sameen said, turning around to look at the party, “my girlfriend is gonna be busy for a while. Anyone wanna dance?”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root sucked in a breath, lifting her head to get some air. She gasped as Sameen’s mouth moved to her neck, biting down hard enough to bruise. Swallowing and trying to focus on the noise coming from the other side of the door, Root’s hands slid up Sameen’s arms to her shoulders and she pushed her away.

“No,” Sameen whined, moving Root’s arms out of the way and pushing their bodies together again. “Not done.”

The door banged against its frame as they bumped against it. Sameen’s tongue on Root’s throat almost distracted her from the strange sounds, but she pushed Sameen away again. Sameen groaned loudly, but took the hint. She wiped a hand over her mouth.

Root pressed her left ear to the door. There were definitely odd sounds coming from the living room. She turned to Sameen, smiling when she saw the red flush on Sameen’s neck. Their chests rose and fell in time as their hearts raced.

“Do you hear that?” Root asked, gesturing to the door. She swallowed again, catching her breath. “I can’t tell what it is.”

Sameen reached for the door handle and unlocked it, panting slightly. “If it’s nothing, we’re going to keep kissing.”

Root laughed and followed her into the living room as the door opened. She realized immediately that it wasn’t nothing. A crowd had formed across the living room, the kids all circled around something. Movement caught her eye and she saw Lionel frantically waving at them.

Sameen raced across the room and Root hurried to keep up, worried. They pushed kids out of the way to see Martine on top of Hersch, arms swinging as she punched him. Her punches were sloppy because of her drunkenness, but it still looked painful. Root grinned and turned to Sameen.

“Do we have to stop this?” she asked, crossing her arms. “He probably deserves it.”

‘Lambert deserved to last year, too,’ she signed, scowling. ‘Still not ok.’

Root rolled her eyes, but moved forward and grabbed Martine’s arm. Sameen held her other side and they pulled Martine away, her feet scrambling on the tile floor as she struggled to keep hitting Hersch. Hersch climbed to his feet, mouth bleeding.

“Get that bitch away from me!” he screamed, loud enough for Root to hear over the music. “She’s crazy.”

Martine growled and launched forward, almost tearing her arm out of Root’s grip. Sameen held firm and kept her back.

“If you ever, ever, come into my house again, I will kill you,” Martine hissed, her face beet red. “You keep my name out of your fucking mouth!”

Hersch took a step forward, but one look at Sameen’s face made him stop. After a moment, he raised his hands, trying and failing to look calm.

“That’s fine,” he said, shrugging. “I’m too old for these little parties anyway.”

He waved for his friends and they left the party, hurrying into the hall and out the front door. Root noticed Tomas lingering in the corner and glared at him. He had a lot of nerve showing his face here. Wasn’t he supposed to be in college? What kind of loser comes back for a high school Halloween party? He noticed her staring at him and paled. Coughing into his fist, he followed Hersch’s group out of the house.

“Ok,” Sameen called, looking around the room, “party’s over. Everyone out.”

Everyone started shuffling around, finishing their drinks and getting their sweaters. Root let go of Martine. Sameen pulled her out of the room and Root watched them leave, reaching into one of her pockets to pull out her phone. It was almost 2 o’clock in the morning. Honestly, the party had lasted longer than she thought it would. Normally, they were home by midnight.

Gen appeared at her side, arms crossed. “Are parties here always this exciting?”

“Usually, they’re worse,” Root answered.

She glanced down at Gen, trying to gauge her mood. They’d talked in the bathroom for a while earlier and Root had apologized for her comments about Gen’s mom. She knew firsthand what having bad parents was like and she should have guessed that Gen was having a hard time. She’d noticed the signs.

Gen looked up at her and her eyes narrowed, angry. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you feel sorry for me.” Gen looked away, shoving her hands in her pockets. “I’m not a charity case. I can take care of myself.”

Root sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. I used to yell at Sameen for looking at me like that. You’re doing fine.”

“Well,” Gen shuffled her feet, caught off guard, “thanks.”

They watched the last few kids leave through the front door in silence. Lionel walked over to them, taking a drink from a bottle of beer. Root narrowed her eyes. He had definitely broken their one beer rule.

“All in all, not too bad,” he chuckled. “At least it wasn’t you two this time.”

“Thank goodness for that,” Root laughed.

Gen looked between them. “What happened the last few years?”

“The first year, Martine kissed me and Sameen saw. I had to chase her home and come out to her.” Root scratched her chin. “Um, the second year, we got really high and made out in the bathroom and Sameen threw up on me.”

“Ugh!” Gen winced. “That’s so wrong.”

“Well, I had thrown up on her on Valentine’s Day and she was naked that time.”

Lionel mimed gagging. “You guys were the worst.” He looked at Gen. “They kissed like 5 times and still didn’t admit they liked each other.”

“What?” Crossing her arms, Gen smirked at Root. “I mean, after our talk, I know you’re not the best at relating to people. I bet you used to be really awkward.”

Root held her hands up defensively. She did not like the turn this conversation had taken. It was one thing to talk about the past, but it was a whole other thing to be teased for it. In retrospect, it was stupid how long it had taken them to get together, but in the moment, it had all seemed so scary and large and important.

“Who are we calling awkward?” Sameen asked, walking into the room. Martine wasn’t with her and Root guessed she was probably asleep upstairs. “Is it Lionel in his Ron Stoppable costume? Because that’s the definition of awkward.”

“Go fuck yourself, Shortstack.”

Sameen darted forward, wrapping her arm around Lionel’s neck and rubbing her fist in his hair. “Come on, sidekick. Where’s the mole rat?”

Root laughed at them as they wrestled playfully, feet knocking cups and empty bottles around the room. It was nice to see Sameen and Lionel bonding.

“You guys are so weird,” Gen mumbled. “Don’t you ever do normal things?”

“Would you like us if we did?” Root asked, resting her arm on Gen’s head, casually.

Gen pushed her off, but she was smiling. “It would take more than being normal for me to like you.”

Root pouted and slowly stalked forward, forcing Gen to back up to get away. “You don’t like me?” she asked, jumping forward to try and grab Gen. Gen moved out of the way in time, her smile turning into a grin. “I thought we bonded tonight! Aren’t we friends now?”

“Get away from me!” Gen laughed, turning and running towards the hallway. She paused in the hallway to make sure Root was chasing her before running to the front door.

Root laughed, reaching out to grab the doorframe as she swung into the hallway. She heard Sameen and Lionel stomping behind her and grinned. Gen ran out into the front yard, dropping into the grass with a laugh. Root laid down next to her, staring up at the stars. A second later, Sameen and Lionel dropped down, too.

“Do you really think high school is the best time of your life?” Lionel asked.

“I hope not,” Root and Sameen answered in unison. “Jinx!”

Root turned her head to glare at Sameen, but let her face relax into a smile. The wind blew across them. She shivered in the cold, night air, the breeze tickling her bare stomach. She was really looking forward to the future. She always did, but now more than ever. It was only a month and a half until her 18th birthday and two months until Sameen’s. They were only seven months from graduation and then the rest of their lives. 

She would have to decide what to do with her house soon. Maybe she’d rent it out or just sell it. Harold and Grace had hired people to fix it up and make it safe to live in. Root sighed and tried to push it from her mind. Sameen’s hand found her own and they stared up at the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready for the holidays?


	54. Thinking Out Loud

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of things:  
> 1\. I'm still aiming for a chapter every 2 weeks, hopefully quicker. This semester has been very overwhelming.  
> 2\. I went back and made edits from the beginning of the story. I've done it through chapter 29 now. Nothing big, no fact changes, but I've definitely grown as a writer since I started this, so I made a few changes. No more High School Musical Names.  
> 3\. Also, I made a post on tumblr, with a link to somewhere you could support me and my work. (I'm not allowed to talk about it here *wink wink*) I'll post it at the end of the last chapter when I'm all done. For now, I'll put it at the end of the end note.

Sameen put her bowl of mashed potatoes down and sighed, pushing Bear’s nose away. She’d been eating non-stop since Mrs. Reese had started cooking Thanksgiving dinner at 7 am. Now, at 10 pm, she was finally starting to slow down. She pushed her spoon into the serving bowl she’d stolen from the kitchen.

Joss, Zoe, and John were home from school for the weekend and all the kids, and Bear, were going to sleep in the treehouse. Across the room, Lionel, Root, and John were playing Mario Kart. Root had managed to bring power to the treehouse and they’d set up a tv in one corner. Sameen watched as Root won a race and the boys groaned.

“You’re never going to beat her,” Sameen laughed. “She’s the best.”

Root looked over her shoulder and winked as Lionel started another game. “I really am.”

“I’ve been practicing a lot,” John countered. “I’m just warming up.”

Lionel snorted. “That’s what you said six races ago.”

The friends laughed and Sameen stood up, picking up her bowl and crossing to the bed in the corner. She put her bowl on the nightstand and sat down next to Zoe and Joss. Bear sniffed at the bowl again before laying down at Sameen’s feet.

“It’s cold here,” Joss said, shivering dramatically. “What is happening?”

“I don’t know, but I love it.” Sameen ran her hands over her bare arms. “I’m not sweating at all. I would love Texas if it was always like this.”

Joss and Zoe huddled closer under their quilt and Sameen rolled her eyes. It was cold for Bishop in November, but it was only in the 60s. She’d spent the last three years melting constantly and now that she was finally comfortable, everyone else was freezing.

“Speaking of love…” Zoe started, “has John mentioned anything about Spring Break?”

Sameen shrugged, pulling her legs up and resting her feet on the edge of the bed. “No? He’s terrible about that.”

“Like you have any room to speak,” John said, defensively. “When was the last time you texted me?”

“Lionel texts you enough for the both of us.” Sameen leaned forward to scratch Bear. “I know he keeps you updated.”

Root tossed her controller onto the floor as she won their race again. “I’m done with this. You guys are so bad.”

Lionel threw his controller away, too. “I won all the time when you were still pretending to be bad. First, you were the best. Then, mediocre. Now, you’re good again. I can’t actually tell if I’m good or not!”

“We can race,” John suggested. “Without Root.”

Root chuckled and climbed to her feet. “Play without the genius.”

“You’re so full of it,” Lionel mumbled. “Go get in bed with the girls.”

Root hummed and crossed the room, smiling. “My favorite place to be.” She climbed into bed and squeezed her way between Joss and Zoe, curling up with them under the blanket. When they’d settled, she stretched her long legs out, poking Sameen’s thigh with her freezing toes and wiggling her eyebrows. “There’s room for one more.”

“There’s really not,” Joss laughed. “Even though Sameen is small.”

“So rude,” Sameen said, rolling her eyes. “Like I’d even want to be in your blanket. I don’t want your cooties.”

“I asked about Spring Break,” Zoe said pointedly, “because we’re having a ceremony and we’d like you guys to be there.”

“What kind of ceremony?” Root asked, looking at Zoe and then Joss. “Like a cult thing? Or a wedding thing?”

Joss bumped her shoulder against Root. “A wedding thing, dummy.”

Sameen looked at the girls for a moment. They were having a wedding, with John. She thought back to freshman year. Joss and Zoe had both been dating John and he hadn’t told them. She remembered how hard it had been for them to figure out what they wanted and how to be happy together. It was weird to think about them getting married.

Zoe had hated the idea of marriage and being tied down. Sameen knew that Joss wanted kids, so did John, but what about Zoe? She wanted to go into politics and really make a difference. Would she have a baby? Sameen’s eyes landed on Root.

John and the girls had only been out of high school for a few months, but they’d been dating for years. Would Root expect Sameen to get married right away? They were still so young and they’d just worked everything out. Sameen wanted to get married, or she joked about it anyway, but what if they got married and Root couldn’t stay still? What if Sameen’s type of love didn’t last forever?

Root’s eyes met hers and Sameen could tell she was thinking something similar. They wanted to be together forever, but after the last couple of years, they knew that it might not be possible. Both of them had big things to work out. Sameen was trying her best and she knew that Root was too, but what if…What if?

“I know it seems fast,” Zoe said softly. She took Root’s hand. “We’ve talked about it a lot, though, and it’s what we want. We’re never going to be able to get married for real. At least, not all three of us. So, we thought we’d do a little promise ceremony. Something to tie us together.”

“I think it’s sweet,” Root said, smiling. “A promise ceremony sounds nice.”

Sameen looked away, bending down to pet Bear again. A promise ceremony. She and Root had already promised each other ‘for as long as we can.’ Did they need to do something more? Did Root want more? Were they passed the point of promises? Did Sameen still have to prove herself?

Lionel spoke up from in front of the tv. “Can I come? I want to be the ring bearer.”

Bear’s ears perked up and Sameen patted his head. John laughed.

“You can come.”

“Yeah,” Sameen added. “I’ll even drive you if you do my chores for a week.”

“What!” Lionel glared at her as John won the race. “That’s extortion! You can’t do that.”

Root leaned forward to see him better. “You can take Ruthie. I’m sure the ride to Houston would be fun. Wind blowing through that luscious mane.”

Lionel just scoffed and started a new race. “So, what happens at a promise ceremony?”

Zoe pushed her hair behind her ears. “Well, it’ll look like a wedding, but smaller.”

“We’ll say vows,” Joss added. “Zoe and I will wear white dresses.”

Sameen snorted. “Isn’t a white dress for a virgin bride?”

Root kicked Sameen in the side. “Sameen! Let them do what they want to! It’s their day!”

“Yeah, Sameen,” John joked, “it’s our day.”

The power flickered in the treehouse for a moment before going out altogether. They sat in the dark for a second before Root sighed loudly.

“It’s the squirrels. They chew the wires.”

“You can win every race,” Lionel said, “but you can’t make wires squirrel proof.”

Sameen stood up and pulled her phone out of her pocket, turning the flashlight on. “Alright, back inside. We can get some lights.”

“No,” Joss whined. “Aunty Marla is here. She’ll try to kiss me again.”

John laughed and opened the door. “Welcome to the family.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root looked around the carnival, grinning. She couldn’t hear anything over the noise, but that didn’t even bother her. It was her birthday and they’d gone to the Corpus Christi Winter Carnival. In front of her, Harold, Grace, and Mrs. Reese walked ahead, leading the way. Lionel and Sameen were on either side of her, stuffing their faces with elephant ears.

It was a cold night and Root had worn her new leather jacket. She looked good in it, like an adult, which was weird. She was eighteen now, old enough to vote, but it didn’t make her feel any different. It just made it easier for her to leave Bishop, to make her own decisions, her own choices. Dropping her head back, she stared up at the stars.

Orion sat overhead, twinkling down at her as she walked. Every day brought them one day closer to the future. Sameen was already thinking ahead, buying small things for their college apartment like blankets and silverware and a shower curtain. Root was excited to leave Bishop and explore the rest of America, maybe even the world one day. She was almost free to live her own life.

With Sameen, of course. She turned her head to see Sameen shoving the last of her dessert in her mouth, her face and letterman jacket covered in powdered sugar. She grinned. Somehow, she had gotten the girl and she planned to keep her. 

It wasn’t always easy. Sameen had woken Root up a couple times in the last few months after nightmares and sometimes Root found herself somewhere else, her heart hurting. It was good, though. They were talking to each other. It was nice. Even if their new friends were monopolizing their time.

“You’ve got a little something on your face,” Root said, gesturing to Sameen’s mouth. “It’s everywhere.”

Sameen threw her plate in the trash, dusting off her hands. She lifted her hands to sign. ‘Who cares?’

Root laughed and looked at Lionel. He’d done better; the sugar was only stuck to his lips. She noticed he had some stubble on his chin and wondered when he’d gotten so old. She nudged his shoulder.

“Your face is dirty.”

Lionel rolled his eyes and wiped his face, licking his lips. ‘That better?’ he signed.

Root nodded. She hooked her arms in Lionel and Sameen’s, pulling them close. “I’m officially the adult of the group. The mom friend.”

Sameen waved her hand, getting Root’s attention. She signed awkwardly, her one arm hindered by Root’s grip. ‘You’re not the mom friend. I’m the mom friend. You’re the disaster friend.’

“Well, I’m still the oldest,” she asserted. “As the oldest friend, and the birthday girl, I demand that both of you win me stuffed animals.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen stared into the goal, kicking the ball from side to side. She had to make sure she didn’t kick it too hard and hurt Harold. Root would murder her if she killed her adopted father on Christmas. Sameen took a couple steps forward, wincing at the feeling of damp grass under her footed pajamas.

Mrs. Reese had bought all of the children matching footed pajamas. She’d even bought Bear a matching bandana. They’d spent the morning having breakfast at Root’s, the three Reese children, their girlfriends, and all seven parents. Sameen had only met Zoe and Joss’ parents briefly, but they were nice people. They seemed fine with the Reese-Carter-Morgan situation.

Sameen kicked the ball around some more, glancing to the side to see their family watching. After breakfast, they’d all gone out to see a movie and then spent the day hanging out and watching tv. They’d just finished dinner and Harold had suggested spending time in the backyard. Somehow, they’d ended up with Sameen kicking goals and Harold trying to dodge them.

“Come on, Miss Shaw,” Harold said, smiling. “Don’t let the limp fool you. I’m not as weak as I seem.”

Sameen raised her eyebrows. Jogging forward with the ball, she kicked it, watching as it arched nicely and hit the net. Harold hadn’t been able to catch it after all. She shrugged at Harold, smirking.

“You’re not my dad yet. I don’t have to let you win.”

“Why would I be your father?”

“When Root and I get mar- uh.” Sameen flushed. “Nevermind.”

Zoe laughed loudly from the sidelines. “When you and Root get married!”

“Sameen!” Root ran onto the field, throwing her arms around Sameen’s neck. “Yes! I accept!”

“Get off me,” Sameen said gruffly, trying to shove her away. “I’m not marrying you.”

Root just laughed and held on tightly. Around them, their friends laughed, too. Sameen didn’t want them to know she was thinking about marriage. She didn’t even know if she was really thinking about it. She remembered that night by the pool when she told Root she didn’t know if she wanted that.

Root pressed a kiss to her cheek and moved her mouth to Sameen’s ear. “I know you’re joking,” she whispered. “It’s ok. We have time.”

Sameen closed her eyes. Of course Root knew what she was thinking. She turned her head to look at Root.

“I love you.”

Root smiled and pressed a kiss to her lips. “I love you, too. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas, Root.”

“Hey, lovebirds!” Joss called to them from the goal. “Play ball or get off the field!”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen rode her bike down the road, pedaling quickly. It was almost midnight and they weren’t even at the park yet. She glanced behind her, seeing her friends racing to keep up. If someone had told her before she’d moved to Bishop that she’d have seven friends, she would have punched them. Now, as the clock ticked down to the new year, she could imagine being happy.

She turned forward again, the lights from the park growing larger as they got closer. ‘The size of an object is proportional to the angle it subtends,’ Root’s voice says in her head. Sameen remembers that they have midterms when school starts again. She’ll make an outline on her chalkboard wall tomorrow.

“Look at the ball!” John yells from behind her.

The mayor had decided to start a new tradition. Bishop was going to do a ball drop at midnight. Sameen could see the small construction vehicle in the field, its crane lifted and a small glowing lamp hanging from the top. She glanced down at her watch, only 5 minutes to go.

Her bike finally hit the gravel of the parking lot and she hopped off, jogging over to the bike rack. As she slid her bike in, she could see Mrs. Reese waving at her and she waved back. The friends left their bikes and started for the field. Sameen stayed where she was, waiting for Root.

Every time she remembered that this was her last year in Bishop, she felt weird. Her stomach felt tight and she wondered if this was nostalgia or something. Was she missing Bishop before she even left? Did that happen to people?

Root appeared next to her, sliding her bike into the slot beside Sameen’s. She pushed her hair out of her face.

“It’s so cold!” Root whined, wrapping Sameen’s letterman jacket tighter around herself. “It’s in the 40s!”

“Can you miss something before it’s gone?” Sameen asked, shoving her hands in her pockets. “Does that happen to you?”

Root nodded slowly, smiling. “Yeah. I don’t have a word for it. It’s how I felt when you were lying about Tomas. We were still friends, but I knew it was going to end and I was already mourning it.”

“Huh,” Sameen said, shrugging. “Weird. I was just thinking about leaving Bishop.”

“It’s crazy, right?” Root took a couple steps forward, pressing against Sameen’s chest. She slid her arms under Sameen’s coat. “It felt like yesterday that we first looked at the stars together. Who knew we’d end up here?”

Sameen took a breath and stepped back. She took Root’s hand, pulling her onto the grass and starting across the field towards their friends. As long as Root was with her, Sameen would be fine.

Her free hand played with the zipper of her jacket. It had belonged to her father and it was one of the few things she still had of his. It was too big for her. When she was younger, she thought she’d grow into it, but now she was starting to accept that she was going to be small forever. She didn’t mind too much.

She checked her watch again and saw that there was only one minute to midnight. Turning to look at Root, she smiled. Root’s eyes were fixed on the sky, glowing in the light of the New Year’s ball. Their first night on the hill really did feel like a lifetime ago. Root had won her over immediately, just talking her way into Sameen’s heart.

Root’s eyes slid to the side and she turned her head to look at Sameen fully. “What?”

“This is our first New Year’s kiss as girlfriends,” Sameen answered.

Root frowned. “No way.”

“Way,” Sameen chuckled. “The first time, it was nothing. Sophomore year, we hadn’t confessed. Last year, we were broken up. This is the first.”

“Wow,” Root breathed. “I can’t believe it. Well, this is the first of many.”

There was a groan as the ball started to drop, but Sameen didn’t look away from Root. She stepped forward, sliding her hands under Root’s shirt, resting them on her hips and pulling Root close. Root’s arms wrapped around her neck and Sameen looked up into her eyes.

Root leaned down, her lips brushing against Sameen’s. The countdown started as Sameen bit Root’s bottom lip gently, sucking it into her mouth and running a tongue over it. Root sighed, their breaths mingling, and pressed their lips together fully.

Kissing Root always felt like coming home. It still drove Sameen crazy, still made her skin hot and her heart race, but it also felt comfortable. Sameen dug her fingers into Root’s side, drinking in her moan. She craved the way Root tasted, like stardust and toothpaste and possibilities.

Around them, the crowd cheered, celebrating the new year. Sameen hardly noticed. Root’s fingers tangled in Sameen’s hair, tugging slightly. Sameen made a vow to start every year for the rest of her life this way. Come hell or highwater, she and Root were going to make it.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“I feel like an idiot,” Root said, pouting. “I’m wearing safety gear to cook.”

“Would you rather cook without it?” Sameen asked, reaching out to adjust Root’s collar.

Root sighed. “No.”

They were practicing for their Home Ec. midterm. Well, Root was practicing and Sameen was ‘helping.’ Mostly, she made comments and ate Root’s ingredients. Luckily, Grace’s kitchen was stocked like the world was ending.

Root was trying to make something simple that would still be good enough for Greer. She needed an A on this midterm or she’d actually get a C in the class. They’d decided on a chicken dinner, a whole roast chicken, mashed potatoes, and vegetables.

So far, she’d burned a pot trying to boil water and splashed herself with hot oil. The chicken was already in the oven and it couldn’t hurt her from there. Probably.

Now, Sameen had forced her into long sleeves and pants. They’d duct taped mittens to her hands to try and cover all their bases. Root was even wearing chemistry goggles. She tried to adjust them, but just kept hitting her face with the mittens.

Laughing, Sameen reached out to straighten them. “You look cute,” she said, stepping away. “Like a mad scientist.”

“I am a mad scientist,” Root joked. The corner of her mouth quirked up. “Madly in love.”

“Disgusting,” Sameen grumbled, her neck flushing. “Mash your potatoes, loser.”

Root just grinned and moved to the kitchen island, awkwardly pulling the mixing bowl closer to her. Even though she’d been taking care of herself her whole life, Root had never really learned how to cook. She’d just lived on granola bars and cereal. Occasionally, she would splurge and buy a frozen pizza.

Mashing the potatoes carefully, Root looked over at Sameen as she hopped onto the island. Her legs sung in front of her, bare feet lightly hitting the cabinets. Sameen was texting and Root took the opportunity to look her over.

Sameen had barely changed since freshman year, at least physically. She’d grown an inch or two, and her boobs had definitely gotten bigger, but other than that, the only difference was the length of her hair. Root had convinced her to trim it. It was still long, but the ends no longer touched her butt.

Sameen smiled at her phone, reading a message and Root’s stomach tensed. It was dumb to be nervous about Sameen now. They’d been through so much and Root trusted her completely, but sometimes the doubt still crept in.

“Who are you texting?” Root asked, hating that her voice sounded nervous. “Gen?”

Sameen glanced at her from the corner of her eye. “You’re going to hate me for 10 seconds, but then you’re going to think it’s funny.”

“Ok?”

“It’s Tomas.”

The blood drained from Root’s face and she felt cold. Tomas? Her hands stilled around the potato masher. Why was Sameen texting Tomas? They’d seen him at the Halloween party, but they hadn’t even talked to him. Now Sameen was texting him? What had changed? What has happening?

“Root,” Sameen said, snapping her fingers in front of Root’s face. “Let me tell you why.”

Root glared up at her. “I’m not sure I want to hear it.”

“Oh, you do,” Sameen snorted. “You really do.”

“Fine,” Root bit out. “Why are you texting Tomas?”

Sameen leaned towards her. “Because he’s dating Martine.”

“What the fuck?” Root dropped her potato masher into the bowl and took a step backwards, mittens in the air. “That’s too weird. I can’t do it.”

Sameen laughed at her. “She invited him to the party, because she invites everyone, and he was impressed by her punching Hersch.”

“Oh, well, that’s it then,” Root said, rolling her eyes. “You tell a girl you like her punches once, and she’ll never let you go.”

“Impressive punches are a good quality to have,” Sameen joked.

She stretched out her legs, hook her feet around Root’s hips and pulling her close. Root pretended to resist, but stepped forward, letting Sameen’s legs wrap around her waist. The marble island was cold against her stomach and she put her mittened hands on Sameen thighs.

“You haven’t punched anyone recently,” Root said, tilting her head. “I’m starting to lose interest.”

“I can tell,” Sameen murmured, dipping her head and brushing her lips against Root’s. “You haven’t kissed me in almost half an hour.”

“So needy,” Root breathed into Sameen’s mouth, licking her lips, her tongue flicking against Sameen’s. “I’ll do better.”

She fit her mouth against Sameen’s, sucking in air through her nose as Sameen’s hands settled on her shoulders. Her body always responded to Sameen’s, always got hot at her kisses. The day Sameen’s kisses did nothing for her was the day Root was ready to die.

Someone cleared their throat behind them and Root pulled away, turning to look. Harold stood in the door way, his face pink. Blushing, Root stepped backwards, trying to act casual. She still wasn’t sure how to act around Harold and in this house.

Harold smiled at her. “You certainly are covered up. I thought you were cooking?”

“I am,” Root said wryly. She held up her mittens. “This is a necessary safety precaution.”

“Yes,” Harold laughed. “Mr. Greer has explained your difficulty with the culinary arts.”

Root paled. “He did?”

“Don’t worry,” Harold assured her, stepping further into the kitchen. “He’s also told me how much you’re trying.”

Sameen patted Root on the head. “You have to have some flaws. Can’t be a genius at everything.”

“But I want to be,” Root sighed, leaning against the table.

Harold chuckled and held his hand out, a letter clasped in his grip. “This came for you.”

Root’s eyes widened and her heart raced. Was it a college letter? She quickly tore her mittens off and threw them to the counter. It was early to be getting a response, right? This had to be a college letter.

“This is not a college letter. It’s from your father.”

Root’s heart sped up for a different reason and she reached out to take the letter with a shaking hand. It was the size of a card and she wondered how her father had gotten her address. When she turned it ove, she could see her given name written out in her father’s terrible scrawl. It felt like something out of a time capsule. It felt like Root was young again, but this time her father tried to keep in contact.

“I’ll give you some space,” Harold said gently.

Root watched him stagger away and sighed, turning back to Sameen.

“What do you think it says?” she asked, flipping the envelope over. “’Never come back to Dallas or I’ll kill you’.”

“I doubt that,” Sameen said softly. “It’s probably a Christmas card or a birthday card.”

Root snorted. “It’s January 3rd.”

She slid her finger under the flap, carefully tearing the envelope open. She hated that she was so nervous, that she sort of cared what her father said. It would have been better if she hated him. The fact that she didn’t want to see him, didn’t want him to be part of her life, made her feel guilty. People should love their parents, but Root barely thought about hers.

Well. She barely thought about her father. Her mother was a prominent figure in her nightmares. Sometimes her mother was released from jail. Sometimes her mother never went away at all and Root still lived in that terrible house. She’d considered writing a Christmas card to her mother, but ultimately decided against it. Her mother was gone for good and Root was an adult now. She was free.

“You don’t have to read it,” Sameen said, watching Root pull the card out. “We could burn it.”

“I’ll read it.” Root shrugged. “Who knows, maybe there’s money inside.”

The card was generic, a small reindeer stood on a wintery field. She opened it, laughing when she saw a twenty dollar bill. On the card was only a small note. ‘It was good to see you last summer. I hope we can talk soon. Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas. Dad.’ Root picked up the $20 and crushed the card in her hand.

“It wasn’t important,” she mumbled, handing Sameen the money. “I don’t know why he bothered to send it at all.”

Sameen leaned to the side and pushed the $20 into her pocket. “He probably did it to ease his guilty conscience.”

“Probably,” Root agreed, sighing. She stared down at her bowl of half-mashed potatoes. “Have you missed your parents recently?”

“I thought about them the other day,” Sameen answered, leaning back on her hands. “I still have the Iranian snowglobe in my room. It made me think of my mom. I wish I could have learned to fight from my father. I learned to cook from my mom.”

“That’s nice,” Root smiled. She picked up the potato masher again. “We’ll teach our kids things.”

Sameen scoffed. “Yeah, I don’t see us having children.”

“But Sameen,” Root said, looking up with wide eyes, “who will I teach to cook? Who will carry on the secret chicken recipe?”

“The recipe that calls for burning?” Sameen asked, raising her eyebrow.

Root turned to the oven and a whiff on burnt chicken floated to her. “No! I’m going to fail this class!”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen stared up at their old friend, Orion, the grass tickling her bare feet. They’d come out to the hill for Sameen’s birthday and even though it was freezing, she was glad they were out. Between friends and extracurriculars, there wasn’t a lot of time to just hang out and stargaze. The cold weather was another thing keeping them inside.

She’d gone through most of her cold weather clothing in the past few months. It was surprising how much of it still fit. Sameen crossed her arms. She was wearing her father’s old sweat pants, folding about three times around her ankles. A breeze blew past her and she heard Root sneeze.

Sameen turned to look over her shoulder and smiled. Root had brought her current project and was staring down at her work tray, a head lamp strapped to her face. Harold had bought her the pieces for a Ham Radio, so she could replace the one she broke, and Root had spent the past week or so making adjustments. Sameen watched her run her fingers over a small part reverently.

Turning to look out over the dark countryside, Sameen shoved her hands into her pockets. The seam inside was coming unraveled and she tugged at a loose string. She’d been think about her parents since Root brought them up a few days ago. Well, she’d been thinking about thinking about them.

Now that she was 18, she’d been with out them almost as long as she’d been with them. When she graduated college, she will have spent most of her life without them. The thought didn’t make her feel anything. It just felt like a fact.

She knew that should make her feel guilty, that she felt nothing, but it didn’t. She’d learned more about herself over the years, learned what she was supposed to feel, but that didn’t mean she actually felt it. Root helped with that a little bit, answering her questions and being patient. Maybe after Med School, when Sameen really knew the science, she could write a book and help the people like her that didn’t have as good a childhood.

She sighed, digging her toes into the ground. That was still so far away. Even if she was a legal adult, she was still in her childhood. There were five months left of high school, and all of summer, until she could start college. They should be trying to enjoy the time.

The light behind her disappeared and she turned around. Root was gathering her things, dropping them into her new took kit. Crossing the hill, Sameen shivered slightly, her toes going numb. She dropped onto their blanket and pull another one around her shoulders.

“Remember when we watched the X-Files every day? She asked, pulling the blanket tight around her. “You were obsessed.”

Root smiled as she took her head lamp off. Her hair tie slid from her hair and the dark brown locks tumbled onto her shoulders. Sameen thought she always look so at home under the stars.

“I was,” Root chuckled, moving her work tray aside and tossing the lamp onto it. “I got you into it though.”

“Dragged me into it,” Sameen corrected her. “Forced me to start BACKS with you, too.”

“Backs!” Root pouted. She pulled her own blanket around her shoulders. “I miss that! I wish we had more time to start it up again. I wonder how Alicia and Denton are doing.”

Sameen stretched her legs, dropping her feet into Root’s lap. “Probably doing nerdy things with other children.” She wrinkled her nose. “That sounds weird.”

Root just laughed and scooted closer. She lifted her shirt and put it over Sameen’s toes. “You’re going to get sick if you don’t stay warm.”

“I won’t get sick,” Sameen scoffed, poking Root’s stomach with her frozen toes. “I’ve only been sick once since we met.”

“That’s true. You weren’t at school and I got a black eye. Then, you got me sick.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “You got yourself sick. I didn’t make you take care of me.”

“I had to.” Root shrugged. “I was already so in love with you.”

Sameen watched as she twisted her ring. Sameen hadn’t worn her matching one tonight. She rarely wore it at all, actually. If she was honest, she was afraid to lose it. She never wore their matching bracelets either for the same reason. Just like she was afraid of losing Root, she was afraid to lose the things that were important to their relationship. Root smiled at her.

“Yeah?” Sameen asked, quietly. “You loved me then?”

Root’s eyelashes fluttered, just like they always did when she was thinking about loving Sameen. “Yeah.”

“How in love with me are you now?” Sameen asked, raising an eyebrow. “Would you take a bullet for me?”

“No, but I’d let you shoot me. In the shoulder, though, not anything fatal.”

Sameen snorted. “I’d take three bullets for you.”

“Well,” Root laughed, “you’re just a better girlfriend than me.”

Sameen moved her feet, shifted her body so she could crawl over and lay on top of Root. They fell back to the ground, Root’s stomach pushing against Sameen’s as she laughed. Sameen just smiled, listening to Root’s laugh float in the cold night air.

They wiggled for a moment, trying to get all their parts covered with blankets. Sameen shoved her face into Root’s neck, breathing her in. After a moment, Root’s arms wrapped around her.

“I love you,” Sameen murmured into Root’s collarbone. “To the stars and back.”

“I love you, too,” Root breathed into Sameen’s hair. “Until the last star dies.”

“Hey, Root?”

“Yeah, Birthday Girl?”

“Talk to me about space.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To Root on her Birthday:  
> From Lionel: A Harvard Sweatshirt  
> From Sameen: 1,000 kisses and a new leather jacket  
> From Mrs. Reese: a fancy toolbox and a pack of stickers  
> From Harold and Grace: Tools for fixing computers and building things
> 
> Christmas
> 
> To Sameen  
> From Lionel: A poster signed by Mia Hamm  
> From Mrs. Reese: Black Rollerskates with blood red laces  
> From R/C/Ms: $100 gift card to Alan's Sex Emporium  
> From Harold/Grace: The collector edition of Edgar Allen Poe’s stories  
> From Root: A really heartfelt love note and a new pair of exercise gloves
> 
> To Root  
> From Lionel: Shiny Binoculars  
> From Mrs. Reese: A cute pair of boots  
> From R/C/Ms: A book called "100 Ways to Use a Strap-On."  
> From Harold/Grace: A birdwatching book and the pieces for a new HAM Radio  
> From Sameen: A terrarium of Cacti and thick, fuzzy socks
> 
> To Lionel  
> From Sameen: His own set of weights  
> From Mrs. Reese: A signed baseball  
> From R/C/Ms: A signed basketball jersey  
> From Harold/Grace: An EMF reader  
> From Root: A Lion Plushie
> 
> To R/C/Ms  
> From Lionel: Some art posters for their apartment  
> From Mrs. Reese: Kitchenware  
> From Sameen: “Kiss the Cook” aprons  
> From Harold/Grace: A couple of nice potted plants  
> From Root: A BDSM Starter kit
> 
> To Mrs. Reese  
> From the Kids: Family Portrait!  
> From Harold/Grace: A trip to the spa
> 
> To Harold/Grace:  
> From the Kids: Family Portrait!  
> From Mrs. Reese: An expensive bottle of Brandy (“Welcome to Parenthood. You may only have adopted Root, but you now have six children.”)
> 
> To Sameen on her Birthday:  
> From Lionel: An MIT Sweatshirt  
> From Mrs. Reese: New soccer cleats and a fancy suit  
> From Harold/Grace: Medical Textbooks that Harvard uses  
> From Root: A handpainted map of Bishop
> 
> http://maybesomedaysameen.tumblr.com/post/171912386333/hey-im-a-fanfic-writer-and-a-grad-student-that


	55. Sweater Weather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter. Sorry for the delay! The next one should be up sooner and be longer.

Root woke up slowly, stretching her arms above her head with a groan. They didn’t have anywhere to go today and she was looking forward to a slow morning. Sameen had promised her a trip to the city to visit the new bookstore, but that didn’t have to happen right away. Sucking in a slow breath, Root ran her hands over her face, her eyes still closed.

Sameen was pressed against her side and Root rolled over, throwing her arm over the warm body next to her. The surprise of Bear’s fur tickling her face woke her fully. She opened her eyes and sat up, the blanket falling to her lap. Bear was lying in Sameen’s spot, his head on her pillow.

“Where’s your momma?” Root asked him. “Where’d she go without you?”

Bear rolled onto his back, exposing his stomach. He woofed softly and Root smiled, scratching him with one hand. She reached onto her side table, pulling her phone off the wireless charger she made a couple weekends ago. Unlocking it, she checked her messages. Sameen hadn’t texted her, but Gen had. There was a text asking if she was awake yet.

Root rolled her eyes and tossed her phone on the bed. Bear rolled over again, laying his head in her lap. She petted his head, trying not to worry. Sameen wouldn’t have left Bear behind if she was just out jogging and the bedroom door wouldn’t be shut if she was home. Had Sameen left during the night? She hadn’t done that in months now. Root licked her lips, looking around the room for a note.

Her eyes landed on the chalkboard wall. Next to a sketch of the respiratory system was a large message, written in Sameen’s neat scrawl. ‘DOING TAI CHI WITH OUR WEIRD ASS FRIENDS.’ Root laughed, startling Bear.

Root wondered how Sameen had been roped into that. Maybe they’d promised her food.

“Ok, Bear,” Root sighed, moving his head away, “let’s go find Sameen.”

She kicked the blanket away with her legs, scooting to the edge and dropping her feet onto the wooden floor. Root shivered as she stood up. The room was chilly and she kept forgetting to put pajamas on before she fell asleep. When she was tangled up with Sameen, still sweating from sex, it never seemed cold enough for clothing.

In the morning, when she was hurrying to her dresser, her entire body covered in goosebumps, she wished she’d at least put on her dog shirt. Pulling open a drawer, Root picked out underwear for the day. If Sameen was going to be busy with their friends, Root would take the opportunity to get some work done.

She pulled open another drawer, deciding to wear her new sweatpants and Bishop High sweatshirt. The cold winter had prompted the school to sell new gear. Root smiled, remembering the event the school had put together. She stepped into her boxer briefs, holding onto the dresser, her fingers brushing Sameen’s 1st soccer trophy.

Control had organized a book fair type of event, with tables of sweaters and scarves in school colors. Sameen, Gen, Martine, and the rest of the soccer team had been forced to stand out in the cold and mingle with the town. Of course, Root had shown up in her ‘borrowed’ letterman jacket and brought them all hot chocolate.

She pulled her sweatshirt over her head, glad for the warmth. A strange noise came from outside and she turned to look at the window. The noise happened again, but this time Root could tell it was someone screaming. Was the tai chi happening on the front lawn?

Quickly stepping into her pants, Root hopped across the room to the window. Pushing aside the dark, light-blocking curtains, she saw her friends on the lawn, screaming at each other. Martine was holding Gen’s phone over her head, out of reach.

Root slid the window up. She climbed out onto the roof, crawling across it on her hands and knees. She stopped at the edge, looking down as Gen jumped to catch her phone.

“Who’s David?” Martine asked, looking up at the phone above her head. “Why is he inviting you to the Valentine’s Day concert?”

“Give it back!” Gen grunted, jumping again. “Don’t read my texts!”

Root laughed, adjusting herself and hanging her legs over the edge of the roof. “Give her the phone, Martine. She’s just a kid.”

“Look who finally decided to wake up,” Lionel scoffed. “You get enough beauty sleep? It’s almost noon.”

“This casual look takes work, Lionel.” Root flipped her hair over her shoulder. “You can’t rush beauty.”

Sameen snorted, crossing her arms. “Are you going to join us?”

“No,” Root answered, smiling. “I’m going to work on Scully.”

Martine finally lowered her arms and gave Gen her phone back. Gen immediately snatched it from her hands and started typing. Rolling her eyes, Martine sat in the grass, crossing her legs.

“Scully? Are you building a weird robot girlfriend?” Martine chuckled. “Are you that big of a nerd?”

Root frowned. She wanted to defend herself, but saying that Scully was from X-Files wasn’t any better than saying she was building a robot girlfriend. She glanced at Sameen, pouting. Sameen winked at her and turned to the group.

“Alright,” she barked, clapping her hands, “are we here to talk or are we here to tai chi?”

Groaning, Lionel, Gen, and Martine formed a line and waited for Sameen to tell them what to do. Sameen turned around, grinning up at Root. She held her arms out.

“This is power, babe.”

“That’s hot, babe.” Root laughed, climbing to her feet. “I’ll be in the train. Text me.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen slowed her bike to a stop next to Ruthie. She dropped her foot onto the gravel next to the train, steading herself and sitting back on her seat. Looking over the train, her eyes landed on the faded yellow ‘CCPN’ painted on the side. The letters glowed in the orange light of the setting sun and she wondered what they’d do with their clubhouse when they graduated.

Root would probably suggest packing everything away and taking it with them, but Sameen knew that that wasn’t viable. It wrong to leave it to the elements, though. The train was where they’d gotten together and back together and now it was another home. Their own little corner of the world. Sameen rolled her eyes and climbed off her bike, kicking out her kickstand and pushing her hands into the pockets of her jacket.

Bear appeared in the open door, his ears perking up. Sameen grinned and jogged forward, leaning against the edge of the train and reaching up to scratch his neck.

“Hey, buddy,” Sameen said, rising to her toes so Bear could sniff her face. “How was your day?”

Bear just licked her face in response. Root must be asleep, Sameen realized. That’s why she hadn’t answered any texts in the last couple of hours. At some point, Root had trained Bear to be quiet when she was sleeping. Sameen smiled and pushed Bear back. She put her hands on the bed and hoisted herself up into the train.

The inside of the train was a mess. It looked like Root had started a project, gotten distracted, and then started another. Several times. Sameen looked around the room, chuckling to herself. They really would have to work on Root’s cleaning habits when they moved. She started picking her way towards Root.

Scully lit up when Sameen got to the foot of the bed, displaying a silent message. ‘Do you wish to continue music?’

“Uh,” Sameen stuttered, shrugging helplessly. “No?”

‘Thank you.’ Scully displayed before going dark.

Sameen stared at the screen for a moment. That was new. Looking at Root, sprawled out in bed, Sameen smiled. It was nice that Root was listening to music again. She’d finished re-building her HAM radio last week and declared it good enough. They hadn’t actually used it yet.

As Sameen stepped out of her sneakers, she took Root in. Her hair was longer than she usually kept it, dark against the white sheets. Root looked healthy and beautiful. When they’d met, Root had been so thin and so pale. Now, she was just fit, naturally lanky and radiant.

Sameen climbed onto the bed carefully, trying not to jostle Root and wake her up. She’d fallen asleep on the sheets, probably thinking she would just take a nap. She wasn’t even under the blankets. Sameen smiled. The cold weather had finally gotten to Root and she’d actually kept her sweatpants on all day, but she wouldn’t get under the blankets to take a nap. Sameen took off her jacket, tossing it off the bed. She laid down next to Root, reaching out to push hair out of Root’s face.

“Mmm,” Root groaned, sucking in air through her nose. “Sameen?”

“Yeah,” Sameen said, quietly. “I’m here.”

Root stretched, her toes pointing and her fingers bumping into the headboard. Her eyes blinked open and she smiled when she saw Sameen. She threw her arm over Sameen’s side, snuggling closer.

“You were gone this morning. Busy with Lionel and the girls.”

Sameen snorted. “We should call all our female friends ‘the girls.’ Isn’t that sexist?”

Root shrugged and scooted down, resting her head on Sameen’s shoulder. “I don’t know. You’re my main girl.”

“I’m your only girl.”

“That’s true.” Root sighed softly. “Forever.”

Sameen pulled Root close and pressed her nose into lavender-scented hair. “How was your day?”

“Ok,” Root mumbled. “I didn’t get anything done. I missed you.”

“I know.” Sameen wrapped her arms around Root’s shoulders, throwing a leg over her hips. “We went to the mall. Gen’s David was there. He ignored her though and let his friends be mean to her. I don’t like him.”

Root snorted softly. “Should we beat him up?” she asked, her voice thick with sleep. “I’ll hold him and you can punch.”

Sameen rolled her eyes. Root and Gen weren’t friends, but Root wouldn’t stand by while someone else was bullied. Sameen wished she could have been there while Root was young and protected her from everyone else. She realized that meant she wished her parents had died sooner and frowned.

“What?” Root asked, looking up at her. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t think I miss my parents anymore. I mean, I think about them. More than I used, too. I just…they’re like characters in a show I used to love. Memorialized.”

Yawning, Root squeezed Sameen, arms wrapped around her stomach. “You’ve healed, Sameen. It’s possible to love someone even if you can live without them. It just means that you don’t hurt so much.”

“I don’t hurt at all.”

“I know.” Root sighed. “You don’t love or hurt or anything. You protect people, though. You support them. Me, Lionel, Gen. Even Martine. My beautiful, Batman girlfriend.”

“I’m not Batman,” Sameen laughed. “I’m just doing my best.”

Root kissed Sameen’s neck. “You do me the best.”

Sameen chuckled, rubbing her legs against Root’s. She was disappointed that the cold forced them to wear so much clothing. As happy as she was that it wasn’t sweltering, Sameen missed being able to touch Root’s bare skin whenever she wanted to. She pulled back, moving her arms to Root’s waist and pushing her hands under Root’s sweatshirt.

“You’re too tired to do anything right now,” Sameen pointed out. “I don’t want you to tie me up and then fall asleep.”

“I suppose,” Root murmured, sounding disappointed. “You could get out of it. You’re good at that.”

Sameen spread her fingers out, running them over Root’s warm stomach. Giggling, Root tried to push her hands away.

“Your fingers are cold! It’s waking me up.”

“Good.” Sameen pushed Root onto her back, crawling on top of her. She ran her hands up Root’s chest, running her thumbs over her breasts. Root’s body was soft under her hands and Sameen could feel her heart speeding up. “I want you to be awake for this.”

Root blinked up at her, her hands dipping in to Sameen’s front pockets. “Let’s take it easy.”

Sameen shrugged and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to Root’s forehead. Trailing her lips down Root’s face, she pressed another kiss onto her nose. “Whatever you want.”

“I want to go to the bookstore tomorrow,” Root said, smiling. “You owe me.”

Brushing her lips over Root’s, Sameen scratched her nails down Root’s stomach. “If I remember last night correctly, you’re the one that owes me.”

Root nipped at Sameen’s lip, pulling it into her mouth and letting it go with a pop. She moved in for a kiss, but stopped when a huge yawn forced it’s way out. Sighing, Sameen rolled to the side. Root was too tired to do anything. They had been really busy later with friends and school and extracurriculars. Root stretched again, her toes pointing.

“Come back,” Root pouted. “I’m awake.”

“No, you’re not.” Sameen pushed the blanket down, pulling it out from under Root. “You know, if you made this bed, it’d be easier to get in it.”

Root just lifted her legs when Sameen tapped them and slid them under the blankets. “But then you wouldn’t tuck me in.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, but pulled the blanket over them. She snuggled up to Root, wrapping her arms around her and tucking her head under Root’s chin. It was warm this close to Root and as Sameen slid her hands back under her sweatshirt, she felt herself grow sleepy.

“I’d still tuck you in, Root.” Sameen closed her eyes. “And I’ll be better about plans. They just ambushed me this morning.”

“You’re too cool for school, Sameen. Everyone loves you.”

“God knows why,” Sameen snorted. “I don’t try to make anyone love me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Root.”

“Ok, it’s bed time. Take me to the bookstore tomorrow."

The bed dipped as Bear jumped up and Sameen opened her eyes, watching as he turned in a circle before lying down behind Root. He rested his head next to Sameen’s arm on Root’s side. She should get him a red collar for Valentine’s Day. Root would like that.

“Ok, Root,” Sameen agreed. “I’ll take you to the bookstore and buy you whatever you want.”

“I just want you, Sameen.”

“Well, you’ve got me. Forever.”

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Our last Valentine's Day in Bishop!


	56. Somewhere That's Green

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Couple of Things:  
> 1\. My betas are at Clexacon, so here is this chapter as it is  
> 2\. We are so close to the end of this story (Six Chapters!), but I'm starting to fade. I need all the encouragement you have!

“So then I said ‘Yeah, but you offered to die your hair brown to date me,’ and she said ‘but then you shoved me against a locker and threatened to kill me’ and then I said ‘but then you started dating my girlfriend’s ex’ and then Lionel said he had a girlfriend and we started laughing at him and forgot we were even fighting.”

“Poor Lionel,” Sameen said, pulling into the Bishop Park parking lot. She leaned forward, squinting to see out into the dark. “He’s a good guy.”

Root smiled, turning her head to look out the window at the concert happening across the park. This Valentine’s Day marked their two year anniversary (or one year and seven months, if you didn’t count their time fighting). Sameen still insisted that they never broke up, so Root had bought a few bottles of Champagne from Elias and strung their lights up in the treehouse. Valentine’s day was on a Monday this year, and they had school tomorrow.

She smoothed her hands down the front of her new burgundy dress. It was fancier than she usually went for, but the high waist and flowing skirt made her feel grown up. She’d need a nice dress when they went away. Root smiled and looked back to Sameen.

“Remember when Lionel used to follow John around like a puppy?”

Sameen snorted, turning the wheel and parking next to Harold’s car. She put the car in park and sat back. “He was in awe of him. Probably thought he’d grow up just as tall. Man, I can’t believe Lionel is almost 16. He won’t have to bum rides off us anymore.”

“Good,” Root said, reaching out to pull up the parking brake as Sameen turned the car off. “I miss having time alone with you.”

“You’re the one who wanted to make friends our senior year,” Sameen pointed out. “I just provided.”

Root ran her eyes over Sameen. Her black dress was tight, made from stretchy fabric, and showed off her curves. She’d gone to Macy’s with Mrs. Reese last weekend. Sameen’s perfect arms were exposed and Root thought she looked amazing, so elegant and grown up.

“What?” Sameen asked, scratching her nose. “Why do you look like that?”

Root reached out to tuck Sameen’s loose hair behind her ear. “You’re beautiful.”

“Gross,” Sameen muttered, pushing her door open. “You look fine.”

Laughing, Root opened her own door, stepping out into the cool, night air. It wasn’t as cold as it had been, but a breeze still made Root shiver slightly. She closed the door, stepping carefully on the gravel ground as she walked around the car to Sameen. She watched her feet as she walked, listening to the music float from the stage.

She looked up to ask if Sameen knew what band was playing, but Sameen was looking away. Root spotted Gen sitting on the bike rack, her light blue dress shimmering under a streetlight.

Sameen started for her, stepping onto the grass, and Root rolled her eyes. She just wanted one event that was only about her and Sameen, not their whole motley crew. Despite her annoyance, Root stepped over the small wooden border around the parking lot and walked across the soft grass to Gen.

“Hey,” Sameen called out, her voice carried on the breeze.

Gen glanced up and quickly wiped her face. Root realized that she was crying. Sameen must have noticed further back. Root’s stomach sank and she looked around, but no one was near them. The crowd for the concert was a couple hundred feet away. Didn’t Gen have a date? That kid, David?

Sameen stopped next to Gen and Root took a couple quick steps to catch up. Gen grinned up at them like everything was fine, but her puffy eyes and quivering lip gave her away.

“Hey, guys!” she said cheerfully. Her voice barely shook. “Wow, you guys look great.”

“Ok,” Root said, crossing her arms. “What’s wrong?”

Gen’s smile faltered and her eyes welled up again. She started crying and Root sighed, dropping her arms and moving to sit next to her. Hopping up on the rack, she kicked her heels off and wrapped an arm around Gen. Gen buried her face in Root’s neck, sobbing.

Sameen growled and Root looked up. Sameen’s face was stormy and Root smiled slightly, knowing that whoever made Gen cry was going to pay for it. She turned back to Gen, lifting her free hand to wipe tears off of Gen’s cheek.

“Gen,” Root said softly, “tell us who made you cry, so Sameen can take care of them.”

“It was David,” Gen answered, her voice hitching. “He lied.”

Sameen started across the park without a word and Root watched her go for a moment before focusing on Gen. She gently lifted Gen’s head, wiping her face and smiling down at her.

“What did he do?” Root asked. “He asked you on a date tonight, right?”

Gen pushed Root’s hands away. “I’m not a baby.”

“Fine,” Root chuckled, holding her hands up. “I’ll stop mothering you, if you tell me what happened.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Gen mumbled, crossing her arms and looking out at the concert. “You’re a cool kid. Things like this don’t happen to you.”

Root’s eyes widened. Gen thought she was cool? Cool enough to not get bullied? She started laughing loudly, clutching her stomach. Root was the furthest thing from cool. She used to be bullied every day when she was Gen’s age.

“What is wrong with you?” Gen asked her. “You’re so weird!”

Root wiped her eyes, still chuckling to herself. “You think I’m cool?”

“Don’t let it go to your head.” Gen crossed her arms, glaring at Root. “You’re dating the star of the soccer team. You’re best friends with the most popular girl in school. You’re rich as hell. You’re Captain of the Science Bowl team, you have a 4.0, and you’ve been top of your class, twice.”

Root rested her hands on the bike rack, leaning her head back to look up at the stars. Gen was right. Root did have it all this year. It was so weird to think about her life now. She still felt like the skinny kid who couldn’t afford lunch. She thought back to Samantha ‘ET’ Groves.

“I wasn’t always cool,” Root said. A breeze blew past them, ruffling her skirt and making Gen shiver. “I used to be the biggest loser in town. Alcoholic mom, poor as dirt, no friends. Well, one friend, but she moved away.”

“You told me your mom was mean,” Gen said, following Root’s example and looking up. “You didn’t say she was an alcoholic.”

Root shrugged, looking for Orion. “It’s still hard to talk about. She’s in jail now for trying to kill me. She made me deaf.”

Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Gen frowning. Root wondered what Gen’s home life was really like. Her cousin was a drug dealer, her father was absent, and her mother was overbearing and awful. Root took in a deep breath. She dropped her head to the side to look at Gen.

“Meeting Sameen saved my life. If I hadn’t met her…I’d either be dead or have run away. I’d probably be a criminal, just stealing to live and hating the world.”

“I hate everyone,” Gen muttered. She lifted her head and glared at the crowd. “I can’t wait to grow up and go away.”

Root smiled, recognizing the feeling. “Soon,” she said confidently. “You should stick with Lionel when we graduate. It’s important to have good friends.”

Gen nodded. “He’s ok. A little weird. Like you and Sameen.”

“Yeah,” Root laughed, “he is. He really likes ghosts. I was always into aliens and cryptids. Sameen is into…me.”

“Gross,” Gen scoffed. “When I have a boyfriend, we aren’t going to be like that.”

Root didn’t answer, just turned back to the crowd. She couldn’t see Sameen, but she saw a commotion the right of the stage. She really hoped Sameen wouldn’t rip her dress; Mrs. Reese had been so happy that they were shopping together. Beside her, Gen cleared her throat.

“David invited me as his date,” Gen said so softly that Root had to lean in to hear. “He picked me up, met my mom, and drove me here. When we parked, his friends were waiting. They teased me for thinking that someone could like me.”

“Ugh.” Root scowled, crossing her arms. “I’m glad Sameen is going to beat him up. That’s the worst thing to do to someone.” She took Gen’s hand, threading their fingers together. “Are you ok? You know that you’re not unlikeable.”

Gen rolled her eyes. “I mean, someone has to like me eventually.”

Root liked her lips, remembering how she felt when Hanna left, like no one would ever like her, like something was fundamentally wrong with her. Her own father didn’t like her enough to stick around and her mother didn’t like her enough to get sober.

“It can be hard,” Root started, “to feel like you’re worth better when all you’ve had are bad experiences. Your parents’ behavior isn’t really about you; they have their own issues to work out. David’s prank…It’s not about your being unlikeable. You’re just an easy target.”

Gen blinked at her, eyes watering again. “My mom was so happy that I had a date. That I was doing normal girl stuff. She even bought me this dress.” Gen picked at her skirt. “I really hate it. I look like a powerpuff girl.”

Root smiled. “You can be Bubbles, I’ll be Blossom, and Sameen will be Buttercup. If we were still here, of course.”

“I’ll make Lionel be Blossom,” Gen said, smirking. She wiped her eyes. “We’ll find a new friend for Buttercup.”

“There you go,” Root joked, bumping Gen with her shoulder. “You’ll wear that dress again.”

Gen nodded, smiling. “Yeah. I just have to tell my mom about David. She’ll be mad.”

“Tell her to go fuck herself,” Root ordered. “Tell her that you’ll find someone in your own time and it’s her fault you’re even in this shitty town anyway.”

Gen looked at her with a strange expression. Admiration, Root realized. Gen was looking at her like she was actually cool. Wait until Sameen heard that Gen was starting to like Root more. Root laughed to herself, pushing her hair over her shoulder with her free hand.

“You’re so much better than this town, Gen. You’ll realize that.” Root grinned at her. “If anyone does this again, you have my permission to punch them in the dicks.”

Gen laughed, clapping a hand over her mouth. She looked at Root with wide eyes. “Punch their dicks?” she whispered. “Is that what Sameen is doing?”

Root shrugged. “Probably.”

“Maybe Sameen can teach me how to fight,” Gen said, perking up. “Or Martine!”

The thought of Martine tutoring Gen made Root nervous, but she let it go. Gen was small for her age, like someone else Root knew, and she could use the self-defense lessons. For the first time, Root wished Gen had moved her sooner. They could have been friends.

“Oh, look!” Gen pointed at the crowd to where Sameen was coming towards them, her heels in her hand. “She’s back.”

“Have fun?” Root asked when Sameen was close enough.

Sameen nodded, tossing her heels onto the ground next to Root’s. She turned to Gen. “They won’t be bothering you anytime soon.”

“Thanks!” Gen said, grinning. “Did you punch their dicks?”

“Uh,” Sameen glanced at Root, shrugging helplessly, “no? Should I have?”

Root just chuckled and held her arms out, putting her hands on Sameen’s waist and guiding her closer. Wrapping her arms around Sameen, she rested her head on Sameen’s stomach, looking at Gen. Sameen’s arms came to rest around her shoulders.

“Fine,” Gen said, blushing, “having a boyfriend who does that would be nice.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen watched as Root’s thumbs strained against the champagne cork. They’d retreated back to the treehouse a few of hours ago. Martine and Tomas had started making out and they’d decided to move somewhere else before their whole night was ruined. Sameen adjusted her hands on Root’s sides, running them over her bare skin.

Root’s nose crinkled adorably as she pushed the cork up. Sameen smiled, stretching her legs out in front of her. They’d spent the last couple of hours on the floor, comfortably rolling around on a bed of blankets having sex and getting drunk. Now, Root was sitting on Sameen’s lap and Sameen was lying on the ground, enjoying the view. Root sighed loudly, holding the bottle in front of her.

“I give up,” Root said, pouting. “I need your finger strength.”

Growling, Sameen rolled her over, grinned as Root squealed. She pressed their bodies together, lifting Root’s legs and wrapping them around her. Root’s body was hot under her, sticky with sweat, and Sameen dipped her head, running her tongue over a fresh bruise forming just above Root’s heart.

The Champagne bottle dropped to the blankets with a muffled thud and Root’s hands flew up to tangle in Sameen’s hair, tightening until Sameen groaned. Despite the cool weather, the treehouse was warm, the blankets absorbing the heat and sweat and sticking to their skin.

“Let’s go swimming,” Sameen suggested, brushing her lips up Root’s chest and nipping at her collarbone. “We’re filthy.”

Root hummed, stretching her head to give Sameen better access to her neck. “Whose fault is that?”

Sameen bit Root’s neck, drinking in her moan. She licked the red spot. “Joint effort.”

“I’d be into a swim.” Root used her grip in Sameen’s hair to pull her head up. She spoke into Sameen’s parted lips. “Get even wetter.”

Sameen captured Root’s lips, biting down until she heard Root’s throat catch. She knew all of Root’s signs, the way her body worked. Her hands on Root’s ribs felt familiar, the pressure against her hands as Root drew in a quivering breath was familiar. Sameen pulled away, shifting back onto her knees and sighing when Root’s hands slipped from her hair.

“Come on,” she ordered, grabbing the Champagne bottle and climbing to her feet. “Let’s swim.”

She reached a hand down to help Root up. They stumbled slightly, the two bottles of Champagne they’d already drank dulling their motor skills. Root laughed again, throwing her arms around Sameen’s neck and kissing her quickly.

“Let me grab my bathing suit,” Root said, turning towards the second level.

“No,” Sameen chuckled, grabbing her arm. “We’re going to skinny dip. Right old wrongs.”

Root laughed and Sameen felt her chest warm slightly. Sameen still didn’t understand everything that she felt, or even feel everything, but she did know that this was love. She also knew that when Root put her hands on her hips, her long fingers accentuating her hip bones, and her head tilted to the side, lips smirking, that was lust.

“Keep it together, Sameen,” Root joked, shaking her head and throwing her hair over her shoulder, “if we do it again here, we’re never making it to the pool.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, but she turned around, carrying the Champagne bottle out of the treehouse. Stepping carefully along the balcony towards the ladder, Sameen looked at the house, checking to see if any lights were on. Mrs. Reese and Lionel were already asleep and it would be embarrassing if they caught the girls having sex in the pool.

“I’m cold,” Root complained behind her. “I know it’s getting warmer, but it’s the middle of the night and I’m naked.”

“We’ll be in the water soon,” Sameen assured her. “I fixed the heater the other day.”

“Ooh,” Root cooed, rubbing her hands over Sameen’s back, “you thought ahead.”

Sameen smirked and started climbing down the ladder. She hopped off at the bottom and started for the screened in pool, ready for the warm water. She’d never say it to Root, but she was a little chilly in the cool, night air. Somehow, she’d actually gotten used to the Texas heat.

“Hey, wait up!” Root called from behind her.

Speeding up, Sameen jogged to the door, pulling it open. Root gave her a kiss as she walked past, and Sameen closed the door as quietly as possible, watching Root walk to the pool. Root dipped a toe in, sighing happily. She turned to grin at Sameen.

“Drinks first? Or swimming?”

“Both,” Sameen answered.

She crossed the tiled floor, popping the cork as she went. Taking a swig from the bottle, she stopped in front of Root. Their tolerance had grown a lot since Valentine’s Day four years ago, so she wasn’t really worried about anyone getting sick. The blue lights played across their bodies as she handed the bottle over.

Root took it from her and Sameen jumped into the pool, curling her body up and landing with a loud splash. The water swirled around her, the small bubbles reminding her of the Champagne and tickling her skin. It was warm, and Sameen was grateful for the heat.

Straightening out, her feet brushed the pool floor and she kicked off, rising to the surface. She pushed her hair out of her face and watched Root lean down to put the bottle on the floor.

“I’m not going too jump in,” Root announced, swaying slightly as she stood. “We shouldn’t be too loud.”

“I’m not the one who’s loud,” Sameen taunted, swimming backwards and giving Root space to slide in. “You’ll have to keep your mouth shut.”

Root grinned, sitting on the edge of the pool. She pushed herself off, dropping into the water with a small splash. She swam towards Sameen, the reflection of the lights on the pool making her face look spooky. “Make me.”

Sameen closed the distance between them quickly, running her hands around Root’s sides and cupping her butt. She squeezed, pushing her nails into soft skin and Root hissed, lowering her head and catching Sameen’s mouth. Kissing was almost painful, their lips already bruised from hours of biting. She pulled away running her lips along Root’s neck.

Root’s long legs wrapped around Sameen’s waist. “Let’s make it a game,” Root breathed in her ear. “First one to make noise loses.”

Sameen smirked against Root’s skin. “What does the winner get?”

“Come on, Sameen,” Root’s voice cooed. “You’re not stupid.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root woke with a start, sitting up, the blanket falling to her lap. She looked around the room, the chilly air making her shiver. They were in the treehouse, sleeping on the floor in their bed of blankets. She turned to the door, the sun was just starting to rise and they’d have to get ready for school soon.

Laying down, she took a deep breath, her heart slowing. She couldn’t even remember what her nightmare had been about. It was just panic, something about power, and a cage. She shivered again and pulled the blankets over her shoulders. Sameen was warm next to her and she rolled over, scooting closer.

Even in sleep, Sameen seemed grumpy, but Root still thought she looked cute. Sameen’s dark hair was splayed across her pale blue pillow and Root reached out to push it out of her face.

“Huh?” Sameen asked, sucking in a loud breath through her nose. Her eyes tried to blink, but they just fluttered, staying closed. “Root?”

“Go back to bed,” Root whispered. “I just had a bad dream.”

For a moment, Sameen didn’t move and Root thought she might have fallen asleep again, but then the blankets rustled and a muscular arm appeared. Sameen’s fist lightly tapped on Root’s forehead.

“Be good,” Sameen ordered sleepily. “Be nice or I’ll beat you up.”

Root laughed and pushed Sameen’s hand away. She snuggled closer, wrapping her arms around Same and tangling their legs together.

“Good night,” she muttered into Sameen’s hair.

Sameen grunted. “Happy anniversary, nerd.”

“Happy anniversary.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Up: A Soccer Game, Spring Break, A Ceremony, Bull-Riding, An Art Museum


	57. She is Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, y'all. It's been too long.
> 
> But! My semester is over! I have all summer to finish this now!
> 
> I'm also working on at least 3 fics for Shoot Week and a fic for the POI Exchange! Although, I'm going to try and write a fic for all 7 days of Shoot Week (we'll see).
> 
> Ok, here it is. We got so close to 200,000, but next chapter for sure!

“I’m just saying,” Lionel said from the backseat, “it’s pretty convenient that right when the town was dying, an alien crashes into the windmill.”

Root turned, pulling her leg up onto the seat between them. “It’s not convenient! They had to rebuild half the town!”

“They were already rebuilding the town from the fire!” Lionel threw his hands up. “Conveniently!”

Sameen snorted and turned back to face forward, crossing her legs. It was weird to be in the passenger seat instead of driving, but on family trips, Mrs. Reese always drove. Sameen leaned on the door, watching the green countryside pass by. It had only taken 45 minutes for Root and Lionel to start arguing about aliens and about 5 minutes after that, Sameen had tuned out.

They passed a row of plastic barns and playground sets and she sighed, sitting back in her seat. They were on the way to Dallas for John’s ‘wedding’ and she was looking forward to seeing him again. Zoe and Joss’ parents had come up a few days before, but John hadn’t wanted anyone to miss school. So, they’d left early Saturday morning and would be in Dallas around noon.

It was weird to go to her brother’s wedding. Sameen still felt like an only child most days, an only child with a lot of friends. Mrs. Reese really was a mother to her though. She’d been there for Sameen, supporting her achievements, taking her to the DMV to get her license on her 16th birthday. She’d helped Root when Sameen was being dumb. Maybe Mrs. Reese would walk her down the aisle at her own wedding, like she was walking John.

She turned to look at Mrs. Reese. “Are you coming out for the bachelorette party tonight?”

“No,” Mrs. Reese laughed, “I’ll leave that for you kids. All of us parents are going to dinner.”

Sameen nodded, expecting that answer. She tried to image her own wedding, but it was hard. Television and movies and books always made it seem like the most important moment in a girl’s life, but it wasn’t for Sameen. Her most important moment…she probably had a few. Her parents’ deaths were negative, but still important. Meeting the Reeses and Lionel. Meeting Root. Almost every day that happened since then.

Root and Lionel argued in the backseat and Sameen crossed her arms. What was the point of getting married? Sure, she’d like to call Root her wife, but was it really that important? Couldn’t they just be together forever and not bring other stuff into it? Sameen licked her lips, frowning. She loved Root; that was the only thing she felt for sure, but she couldn’t help remembering the conversation they had in Houston.

What if Sameen faded away? What if Root wanted to leave? Marriage sounded magical and amazing, but what about divorce? Wouldn’t it be easier to separate if there weren’t lawyers involved? Money? She looked out the window as a billboard for a waterpark flew by. Neither of them wanted children, but would they feel pressure if they were married?

An old conversation with Root came into her head and she smiled. She and Root used to sit by the pool at night, talking about life and the future. God, they used to be so sure about what they wanted. It was easy to be when you were 14. Well, it was easy to be sure about big things like marriage and jobs, not so much about immediate things like crushes.

Sameen had asked if Root wanted to get married in the future. At the time, the future was a hundred years away, but now…now it was so close. She remembered what Root had said. Root had wanted an apartment and a girl and a dog in a city. That’s what they would have in Boston in a few months. Root and Sameen and Bear and the rest of their lives. As long as they could.

Did they have to have a wedding to be permanent? Couldn’t they just keep promising each other permanence? Wasn’t that the same? Another waterpark billboard rushed past. Sameen couldn’t remember her own answer. It was probably something like “I don’t want to get married” or “I don’t think I could love someone.” She remembered Root’s response, though.

‘Don’t limit yourself.’

Sameen had, though, in a good way. What would she want without Root? She’d go to college, get a job, live life. Root was her North Star. She winced. That sounded cheesy even in her own head, but it was true. Root had annoyed Sameen into loving her and now Sameen was thinking about marriage. They were so young, though.

Sameen sighed and decided to forget about it. They were young and she did want to marry Root, it was just…it was a lot to think about. Root would probably want to get married at night, in the winter so Orion was above them. That didn’t sound too bad. Sameen smiled to herself, looking out the window. They could get married in her backyard and spend the night in the treehouse, just fill it with string lights and rose petals and champagne.

She was yanked out of her thoughts by Root screaming.

“Ow! Don’t hit me!”

Turning to look behind her, Sameen laughed. Root was pouting and cradling her hand against her chest. Normally, Sameen would jump to her defense, but her new boots her pressed firmly into Lionel’s stomach and it was easy to see who started it. Lionel glared across the backseat.

“You kick me with your Tomb Raider Boots, but I smack your hand and I’m the villain?” He turned to Sameen. “Make your girlfriend stop being crazy!”

“Children,” Mrs. Reese scolded lightly, “Place nice.”

Sameen snorted. “Yeah, children. Play nice.”

Root stuck her tongue out, but she pulled her feet back and put them on the floor in front of her. “It’s his fault. He said aliens weren’t even real.”

“I said ghosts are more likely to hang out on Earth than aliens,” Lionel corrected her. He crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat. “I’m so glad you guys won’t be around to embarrass me at football games.”

“You’re trying out for football next year?” Shaw asked, surprised. “You haven’t mentioned it.”

“Well, you’re a championship-winning soccer captain and Root is captain of the Science Bowl team. Just trying out for football my junior year isn’t very impressive.”

Mrs. Reese glanced into the rearview mirror. “Lionel, we’re proud of you no matter what you do.”

Lionel rolled his eyes. “That’s what you say to kids who don’t do anything.”

Sighing, Root unbuckled her seatbelt and closed the distance between them. She hugged Lionel, ignoring his half-hearted attempts to knock her away. Sameen smiled softly, drinking in the image. Usually, Root and Lionel just squabbled or tried to one-up each other. Root had known him for as long as Sameen had, though, and she really did care about him.

“You’re going to be the best touchdown person in Texas,” Root cooed. “Take them to championships so we can have two athletes in the family.”

Sameen grinned, leaning further into the backseat. “You know, Root…You’re the only unathletic one.”

“What?” Root gasped. “No, I’m not!”

“Well,” Lionel chuckled, “John was on the lacrosse team. Zoe and Joss played soccer with Sameen. Even mom plays the occasional softball game with her work team.”

Root looked offended, her mouth opening and closing silently. After a moment, she huffed and scooted back across the seat to glare out the window. Between being unathletic and her B+ in Home Ec., Root was definitely grumpy. Sameen decided to take pity on her.

“You’re very smart, Root,” Sameen offered, “and cute. I’ll be the brawn and you can be the brains and beauty.”

Sighing dramatically, Root crossed her arms. “I guess that’s fine.”

The car laughed and Root’s face cracked into a smile. Sameen just watched her, thinking about how nice things had been since August. They hadn’t fought in months and there hadn’t been any major drama. She felt…steady.

She wished she’d known that this was how a relationship would make her feel. The beginning of their friendship, acknowledging her attraction, trying to be normal, it had all made her so uneasy. Now, she could just live and Root lived beside her Sameen was sure that college would bring new people and new struggles and fights, but they could handle it.

Root caught her looking and winked. “Enjoying the view?”

Lionel groaned and leaned over to punch Root’s shoulder. “You’re so gross! I can’t wait to hang out with John again and get away from you lovebirds.”

“I hate to break it to you,” Mrs. Reese said, “but we’re going to his wedding. I doubt he’ll be any better.”

Sameen reached out to pat Lionel’s knee. “We’ll find you someone to dance with, bro. Maybe Zoe has a cute cousin.”

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Root sipped her glass of water, hoping it would settle her head. They’d been at the club for almost four hours now and she was having trouble keeping up with the other girls. The music was so loud that Root couldn’t hear anything, and the noise and alcohol was starting to make her head hurt. She was having a good time, though.

They’d only been at the club for half an hour before John and Lionel had shown up. Apparently, this was the Reese-Carter-Morgan’s favorite Saturday night spot because it had an animatronic bull. Root took another drink of her water and watched John struggle to keep his balance on the bucking bull. He was doing pretty well, considering how much he’d had to drink.

Root turned to the girls and snorted. Zoe, Joss, and Sameen were tossing back shots, even though Root knew they were all already drunk. The girls slammed their shot glasses down on the bar and crammed lime slices into their mouths. Sipping on her water, Root leaned forward.

“How’s it going?” she screamed over the music.

Sameen grinned at her, giving her a thumbs-up. She pulled the lime out of her mouth, tossed it onto the bar and raised her hands to sign. ‘It’s great! Want one?’

Root rolled her eyes at Sameen’s slow and sloppy hands. Was slurred speech a thing in signing? Because Sameen was almost unintelligible. “I’m ok! Maybe you should stop!”

Nodding, Sameen stepped towards her, stumbling forward. She fell into Root’s arms, bumping the glass of water and spilling it onto the floor. Root could see Joss’ mouth moving, but couldn’t make out what she was saying. Grunting, Root maneuvered around to sit Sameen on a bar stool.

A tap on her shoulder made her turn and look at Zoe. If things got too crazy, Root was going to blame her. She was the one who got them into the club without IDs and the one who convinced the bartenders to give them all free drinks. In the short time that the Reese-Carter-Morgans had lived in Dallas, Zoe had made a lot of friends.

Their life in Dallas seemed pretty great to Root. They lived in a cute apartment, they were getting married, and they had their own special spots, like this club. She watched Sameen push hair out of her face and smiled. They’d have their own lives soon, hopefully in Boston. Maybe Root would even propose to Sameen, maybe she’d do it at prom.

Zoe signed, just as sloppy as Sameen. ‘Are you ok? Need a drink?’

“I’m fine!” Root laughed, keeping a hand on Sameen’s shoulder. “Someone here has to stay sober in case we need to call an ambulance.” She swayed on her feet and put her empty glass on the bar, surprised when it just fell from her hand. “Well, sober-ish.”

Something made the other girls look past Root and Root turned to see what was happening. The bass pulsed through her as she grinned. John had climbed to his feet and was riding the bull like a surfboard, somehow managing to keep his balance despite his obvious drunkenness. Lionel was leaning against the railing around the bullpen, probably shouting encouragement.

Root turned to Zoe. “Do you ride the bull? I can’t imagine that.”

Joss and Zoe laughed, clutching each other for support. Sameen shook her head, almost losing her balance and clutching Root’s arm for support.

‘Obviously not,’ Sameen signed with one hand. ‘She’s a lady.’

“Aren’t you going to ride the bull?” Root asked, pouting. She tilted her head. “I was looking forward to it.”

Sameen waved a finger in front of her face, eyes squinted. Licking her lips, she pulled her hand away from Root, adjusting herself on her stool. ‘You’re not tricking me. There are enough embarrassing pictures of me on facebook as it is.’

Laughing, Root stepped into the space between Sameen’s legs, wrapping her arms around her shoulders. Surprisingly, Sameen’s arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her in closer. Glancing at Zoe and Joss, Root smiled. They were holding hands, watching John across the room. It seemed like just yesterday John was dating them both secretly, not knowing just how close they were. The Reese-Carter-Morgans had struggled for longer than Root and Sameen had, trying to figure out how to be together.

Root remembered hearing that they were going to kiss on New Year’s Eve and being desperate to kiss Sameen. Later, Zoe had really helped her when Sameen was dating Tomas. Even though Sameen wouldn’t talk about it, Root knew Joss had helped talk some sense into her around that time. Root would be grateful forever.

If John and Zoe and Joss loved each other even half as much as Root loved Sameen, then they’d be alright. If the three of them could survive college, and bills, and real life problems, then Root and Sameen would be just fine.

Root ran her eyes over the bottles behind the bar, lost in thought. Her heart was pounding in the loud club and she couldn’t hear if anyone was speaking, but it didn’t matter. She was focus on her girlfriend, still loosely holding on. Sameen had been a little bit weird on the ride up to Dallas and in the hotel. Root could hear her brain screaming the whole day as she tried to work through something.

Blinking and looking down, Root saw that Sameen’s eyes were fixed on Zoe and Joss’s hands, dark and deep. Maybe Sameen was thinking about marriage. Root knew that they joked about it and that Sameen had been thinking about it for a while, but all of that could be a joke. She could still be nervous about them, about her own shortcomings. Root’s, too.

Root wasn’t worried, though. Sameen would talk to her about it eventually, or she would just get over it. They were stuck together now. Forever. Sameen jerked in her arms and Root stepped back to see what had happened.

‘He fell!’ Sameen signed, grinning. ‘Like an idiot! Look!’

Spinning on her heel and only stumbling a little bit, Root saw John climbing to his feet, struggling to keep his balance on the padding the club had spread around the mechanical bull. He staggered forward to grab the railing and used it to guide himself to the exit. Root turned back to the other girls.

“That was really impressive,” she gushed, knowing how that would make Sameen feel. “He looked really cool. I bet that’s hard to do!”

Joss winked at her, dropping Zoe’s hand. ‘It is! He’s so dreamy, isn’t he?’

“The dreamy-ist!”

Sameen hopped off the bench, immediately falling forward into Root’s arms. They teetered for a moment, before Root found her footing and hoisted Sameen upright. Sameen pushed her away roughly and started stalking towards the bull.

Tongue in cheek, Root shouted after her. “I thought you weren’t going to do it!”

Sameen just gave her the middle finger, no sign language necessary. Laughing, Root hopped up on the newly empty barstool and settled in to watch Sameen. Joss and Zoe sat next to her, spinning on their chairs to ask the bartender for another drink. Root didn’t want another one.

Sameen was talking to the guy controlling the bull, standing on her tiptoes to rest her arms on his podium. Looking between the bull and Sameen, Root wasn’t sure she could even get up there. The saddle had to be at least five feet in the air. It seemed like the controller was thinking the same thing.

Slamming her fist on the podium, Sameen said something through gritted teeth. From this far, Root couldn’t read her lips, but whatever she said scared the controller and he nodded. Sameen shot a glare at Root and stepped through the gate into the bullpen.

Root was right; Sameen was barely taller than the saddle. Swaying in front of the bull, Sameen put her hands on her hips. They were lucky no one else was in line or Sameen would never have been allowed in. John and Lionel finally joined them, stopping front of the group.

John started talking to the girls and Root rolled her eyes. He hadn’t actually been that impressive, but complimenting John was a surefire way to get Sameen motivated. Lionel waved his hand in front of Root’s face, distracting her.

“What?” she asked, craning her neck to keep an eye on Sameen.

Lionel waved his hand at her again and she turned to him. ‘Didn’t John look cool? I should try the bull.’

“Sure, Lionel,” Root said, eyes wandering away again. “Once Sameen is done, you can do it. You might actually be good! You’re pretty sturdy.”

‘Are you calling me fat?’ Lionel sighed, frowning.

“No,” Root assured him. “I’m calling you strong.”

That seemed to put Lionel at ease and Root turned her full attention back to Sameen. She’d made some progress on her climb. One foot was in the saddle’s stirrup and she’d managed to get her hands wrapped around the front. Root watched as she hopped, trying to pull herself up.

Sameen’s arms tensed as she pulled, her muscles clear and strong. Licking her lips, Root kept her eyes locked on Sameen’s arms, resting her elbows on her knees as she leaned forward. Finally, Sameen got a good grip, swinging her leg up and over the bull. She shot one cocky grin at Root before the bull started moving and she almost fell off.

Her bare legs tightened around the bull and Sameen stayed upright. The sight of Sameen’s legs gripping the bull made Root light-headed. Sameen’s strength had become so normal to her that Root forgot just how strong she was. The bull bucked beneath Sameen and Root could feel herself start to sweat. She never thought she’d be turned on by something as Texan as bull-riding, but here she was, wishing they were somewhere Sameen could do this naked.

Sameen slid her foot out of the stirrup and Root knew this could end poorly. She could see the sweat glistening on Sameen’s bare arms and legs. The cool, winter weather had vanished in the last couple of weeks and it was shaping up to be a terribly hot summer. Root wasn’t glad for the heat, but she was glad that Sameen was wearing crop tops and shorts again.

Her legs bending to keep up with the bull, Sameen straightened up, standing on the saddle. She grinned across the club at Root, immediately losing her balance and falling backwards. Root jumped off her seating, running around the railing to see if Sameen was ok.

She was fine, just lying on her back, grinning at the ceiling. Root sighed, relieved, and rested her arms on the cool metal barrier. When Sameen saw her, she climbed to her feet and walked over.

‘Was I hot?’ Sameen signed. ‘Hotter than John?’

Root nodded, reaching out. She tangled her fingers in Sameen’s top and yanked her forward, crashing their mouths together. Their teeth bumped together awkwardly, but Root didn’t care. She dragged her lips over Sameen’s until their mouths met and she could feel Sameen’s tongue against her own. Sameen whimpered and Root pulled away just enough to speak.

“Meet me on the other side. We’re going to have sex in the bathroom.”

Sameen nodded, her lips sliding against Root’s, before pulling away. She started running for the bullpen’s exit and Root hurried to meet her, grinning. Every time they left Bishop, Root felt a little bit older. Four years ago, she could never imagine having a girlfriend, much less making out with one in the bathroom of a club in Dallas.

She got to the other side just in time to see Sameen salute the controller. The controller didn’t salute back. Laughing, Root grabbed Sameen’s arm and pulled her back to where their friends were still sitting and talking.

“We’re going to make out in the bathroom,” Root announced to the group. “Don’t feel obligated to wait for us.”

Lionel and John looked grossed out, but Zoe gave them a thumbs-up.

‘The one on the left has a huge mirror. I recommend it.’

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“Joss,” John started, “I remember the first day we met. We were in kindergarden and you wanted to take a nap in my usual spot. I didn’t want to share and you threatened to kill me…”

Joss laughed, wiping away a tear. Zoe reached up to wipe away one of her own.

“I suggested we share the blanket,” John continued, the paper he was reading from shaking in his hands, “and you said yes.” He looked at Zoe. “Zoe, I remember when we met. It was five minutes later when you threatened to kill me for stealing your nap partner.”

Everyone at the ceremony laughed and Root had to admit it was a cute image. The whole ceremony was beautiful, she thought as John kept talking. She’d been curious as to how they’d set it up, but they found a way to make it work wonderfully.

The soon-to-be-just-Reeses stood in a triangle, surrounded by a circle of chairs. They were in the hotel garden. It was full of flowers and butterflies and Root was amazed that the weather had cooperated to bring them a cool, spring day, only a little bit warm and not a cloud in the sky.

The sun shown down on Zoe and Joss, beautiful in their white dresses. Root could even acknowledge that John looked handsome in his suit, rented just for the occasion. They all looked so in love. They couldn’t stop smiling at each other. Joss’ father was presiding, dressed in his full Sheriff’s uniform, even if he had no authority outside of Bishop.

Root loved it all. It was romantic and soft and nothing like she’d seen before. None of it was legal, but it was still real and solid. Their vows connected them. She looked at Sameen, smiling when Sameen looked back at her.

They hadn’t seen each other for most of the day. Root had helped Zoe get ready and Sameen had helped Joss. Apparently, the brides weren’t allowed to see each other, either, so the whole group had been spread out across the hotel as they got ready. Root wished she could see Sameen squirm at Joss’ starry-eyed looks.

Sameen smiled back at her, but she still looked uncomfortable. Root wondered what she was thinking. Did any of this make her feel anything? Probably not. Root hoped she could understand why it was important though. Thinking back over all the declarations of love they’d made over the years, she knew Sameen did understand.

Sameen looked away, back to the vows, and Root took her hand, tangling their fingers together. Even if they never got married, there was so much waiting for them. They hadn’t heard back from their colleges yet, but Root knew they’d get in. They had amazing grades, great extracurriculars, unusual upbringings.

She thought about their life in Boston during college and wherever they went afterwards. There was so much life waiting for them and Root wanted to experience it all. She wanted lazy Sunday breakfasts and late night swimming and evening walks in the park. She wanted to hang their star tapestry above a four-poster bed.

Their apartment would be uniquely them, with string lights and space sheets and piles of blankets. Root could picture them, their daily routines. Sameen would cook dinner and Root would do the dishes. Sameen would wake up early and go for runs with Bear and wake Root up with wet hair and warm pancakes.

Root would learn about everything there was to do in the city and make sure she and Sameen explored it all. They’d go to museums and ride their bikes around Boston, go to see the Pops and the Fourth of July fireworks. They could eat dinner on the roof on clear nights and watch X-Files in bed with Bear when it rained.

She’d make sure Sameen always knew she was loved and she’d make sure Sameen never felt alone again. In the summer, they’d take road trips. Two months of them and Bear and RBG and sunshine. Root would keep inventing better batteries and better radios, so they could talk to their family whenever they wanted.

During the holidays, they’d come back to Bishop. Root wasn’t even upset at the thought. They’d spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with Harold and Grace and all the Reeses. On New Year’s Eve, they’d watch the ball drop and kiss at midnight. They’d kiss at midnight every year until they died. Root would make sure of it.

Sameen pulled her hand away and started clapping. Shaking her head to pull herself together, Root realized that she’d missed the end. She took a deep breath, overwhelmed by her train of thought, and clapped. Something bumped her shoulder and she looked to her side to see Sameen, her face worried.

“Are you ok?” Sameen asked, sounding concerned.

Root nodded. “Yeah, why?”

“You’re crying.”

Touching her face, she realized she was and quickly wiped the tears away. She’d been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn’t even noticed. Sameen was still looking at her, so she smiled.

“I’m ok, Sameen. Just…thinking about love. I love you.”

Sameen didn’t look convinced, but she nodded. “Ok, weirdo. I love you too.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“So…” Sameen said, shoving her hands into the pockets of her overalls, “what’s this one?”

Root laughed. “You tell me! You’re the artist.”

Rolling her eyes, Sameen leaned forward to read the small card next to the picture. They’d gone to the Dallas Museum of Art to get away from their family. Spring break was almost over and a whole week of family drama and happy couples and grumpy Lionel was too much. So, they’d excused themselves and borrowed Mrs. Reese’s car for the afternoon.

Sameen was not happy that the heat had come back, but Root’s bare legs appeared in her peripheral vision and she couldn’t be too mad. She hadn’t brought up Root’s tears at the wedding yet because she knew Root would ask about her own weirdness. All the wedding stuff was making it all too real. They were just kids, but if John could get married, then they could, too, but should they?

“’Back Road, Presidio, Texas, 1975.’” Sameen read aloud. She straightened up and stepped back so she could see the picture again. “Looks like that road between the school and the field.”

“Yeah,” Root chuckled. “It does.”

Sameen sighed, noticing the way Root kept playing with her bag’s strap. “Ok, ask me.”

“What?” Root said, startled. “Ask you what?”

“Ask me why I’ve been weird this week.”

Root pushed her hair behind her ear, shrugging in the way she did when she wasn’t confident. “Why have you been weird this week?”

Sameen licked her lips. “Want to get some food from the café downstairs?”

Nodding, Root started walking slowly, letting Sameen fall into step beside her. They walked in silence for a minute and Sameen tried to come up with a cohesive answer. She should have done this before she told Root to ask. They started down a wide staircase.

“I don’t know it I want to get married anymore,” Sameen finally said softly. “I want to be with you forever, you know that, but all the…commotion? It’s a lot.”

“I know,” Root said wryly. “I picked up on that.”

“I know you know,” Sameen snorted, bumping Root’s shoulder with her own. “I wanted to tell you.”

“Thanks,” Root sighed.

They stopped on the landing between floors and looked at each other. Sameen ran her eyes over the slight sweat on Root’s forehead and took in the way her hair was frizzing slightly in the humidity. Her T-shirt clung to her stomach and Sameen wanted to stick her hands underneath.

“Maybe we just wait a little longer,” Sameen offered. She tapped the tip of her sneakers on the marble floor. “We don’t have to get married at 19.”

“We don’t,” Root agreed, turning back to the stairs. “We don’t have to get married at all.”

Sameen didn’t answer. She just started walking again, leading Root down the next set of stairs. Picking at the inside of her pockets, she wasn’t sure what to say. They weren’t fighting. In fact, they seemed to be in agreement, but it still felt weird.

She stopped four steps from the bottom and watched Root reach the 1st floor. Root spun around to look up at her.

“We’re not fighting, right?” Sameen asked, just to make sure.

“Nope,” Root said, grinning. “We’re just talking about the future.”

Sameen frowned. “Usually, we’d kiss now.”

“Usually,” Root echoed, “we’d have sex now.”

“Root!” Sameen hissed, hurrying down the last steps. “We’re in public!”

Root rolled her eyes. “I know that. That’s why we’re talking about sex instead of having it.”

“Whatever,” Sameen mumbled, leading them forward. “Well, now I get to ask.”

“Ask what?”

“Ask why you were crying on Sunday.”

Root sighed heavily, dropping her head back dramatically. “Do you have to? It’s so dumb.”

Sameen pulled her hands from her pockets to cross her arms. Root looked like an idiot, stomping forward with her face tilted up at the ceiling. Her purse slapped against her thigh with every step she took. It was cute, though Sameen wouldn’t say that out loud.

“I mean, you don’t have to,” Sameen said, knowing what it would do. “You can keep your secret, I guess.”

Root’s eyes slid to the side, to glare at Sameen. “That’s not fair.”

“Sure, it is,” Sameen shrugged. “I tell you how I’m feeling and you tell me nothing. Totally fair.”

“Ugh, fine,” Root groaned, lifting her head and walking normally. “I was thinking about our future and how amazing it’s going to be.”

Sameen stopped walking, staring at Root. “Seriously? You were thinking about our future and crying because you were happy?”

Root blushed, pink spreading across her face. “Yes?”

“Feelings are so weird. Yikes.”

“Yikes?” Root repeated, mouth dropping open. “I love you, Sameen Shaw. My life is one thousand times better because you’re in it. Even if you did make me deaf in one ear.”

“I didn’t – Ugh.” Sameen pulled her hands out of her pockets and rubbed her face. “It’s…cute. Ok? I like that you think about our future and you’re happy. That’s what I want. It’s what I’ve wanted for years.”

Root sauntered forward, smiling down at Sameen. “Yeah? You want us to be happy together?”

“Obviously,” Sameen mumbled, ignoring her own blush. “Don’t act so smug.”

She reached out to touch Root’s waist, but Root jumped backwards. She waved a finger.

“We’re in an art museum, Sameen. You know the rules,” Root said, laughing. “Don’t touch the masterpieces.”


	58. Castle-Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Life is crazy, as always. I am pretty determined to finish this soon!  
> Please don't think I'm going to abandon this!

Root stared out the window of Harold’s car, eyes fixed on the Bishop, Tx sign as the approached the town line. They’d spent the weekend in Washington, Dc for the Science Bowl championships and Root was mourning the return to her home town. She and Sameen had kissed under the Cherry Blossom Trees. It was a perfect weekend, ending in Bishop High School’s first ever National Science Bowl Championships.

Now, they were almost home, back to their routine and the last few months of high school. It felt unreal, like Root wasn’t solid. She felt unsteady and unsure about the future. Not about her and Sameen, they were fine, but just about life and college and adulthood.

Root never thought she’d make it this far. She knew she was meant for something more than Bishop, like she was better than her mother and their terrible house and this shitty town, but it felt wrong to actually move forward. She was happy, happier than she had ever been in her entire life, but everything was so different than it was four years ago.

Sameen took her hand and Root looked away from the sign, meeting her eyes. She looked calm and Root wondered what she was thinking about. If they weren’t in the car with Harold, Grace, Mrs. Reese, and Lionel, she would have asked.

Instead, she handed Sameen her trophy and burrowed deeper into Sameen’s letterman jacket. She might not be an athlete, but she was a Bishop High superstar now. She’d probably get her picture in the glass cabinets by the front office. Martine would be so pissed.

Root looked around the car. Harold was driving, Grace sitting next to him, leaning across the armrest so they could talk quietly. Mrs. Reese and Lionel were in the middle set of seats. Sameen had made fun of Harold’s big, shiny car, but it fit all of them comfortably, and they could probably have fit John in the back row with them. She leaned forward.

“Ask me a science question!”

Mrs. Reese laughed, turning to smile at her. “You just spent all weekend answering science questions. Don’t you want a break?”

Root rolled her eyes, pulling her legs up onto the seat. “It’s more important for me to be ready now. I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Queen of the Nerds,” Sameen joked. “People are going to be stopping her in the hall to ask her what microbacteria lives on Mars. Don’t answer that.”

Root shut her mouth with a click, grinning. She felt good, despite the weirdness. Burying her nose in the jacket, she breathed in the smell of Sameen. Only a month and a half left of high school and they’d be gone. They could be grown-ups and Root would be free of her mother’s shadow. She watched the town sign pass by her window.

“Maybe I should have asked you to tutor me,” Lionel groaned. “I let Shortstack turn me into a dumb jock.”

“I have a 4.0 GPA,” Sameen retorted. “I made you a jock. You made yourself dumb.”

“At least I’m taller than you,” Lionel snorted. “Dumb and tall is better than short and smart.”

Root kicked the back of his seat. “Some of us are smart and tall.”

“Children,” Mrs. Reese sighed. “Can we have one event that doesn’t dissolve into bickering?”

“No,” Sameen and Lionel answered in unison.

Mrs. Reese leaned forward to the front seats and reached out to put her hand on Grace’s arm. “Be glad you missed the rough years. I’ll take bickering over silence any day.”

Root looked out the window, frowning. The months after her mother was arrested and she’d lost her hearing had been the worst of her life. Until then, she’d thought the worst thing in the world was physical pain, or that emotional pain only got as bad as seeing the girl you liked with a boy. She had no idea that she could feel broken, empty and too full all at once.

It felt like a lifetime ago, like it had happened to someone else and Root had gone to see the movie. Even last summer in Houston, when she and Sameen had finally had to talk about their problems, felt like years ago. Root already felt like she was an adult, like she was 25 and could handle anything.

The car turned onto their street and Root sat back up. She turned to Sameen and blushed when she saw Sameen staring at her.

“What?”

Sameen shrugged. “You’re pretty.”

Root laughed, shaking her head. “You’re so weird sometimes.”

“Probably.”

Harold pulled into Mrs. Reese’s driveway and Root unbuckled her seatbelt. She was excited for dinner. Mrs. Reese and Grace were cooking, which meant it would be amazing, and they had promised ice cream after. The air was warm when she opened her door and stepped out of the car. Root looked up at the orange sky.

“It feels like we just left.”

“Really,” Lionel asked, slamming his door shut, “I’m exhausted.”

Root just shrugged, pulling Sameen’s jacket closed. “The weekend seems too good to be true. I think it may have been a dream.”

“I’m the only dream here,” Sameen said, appearing around the back of the car. “This weekend was real.”

Root didn’t answer. She hooked her arm in Sameen’s and started heading towards the house. They passed Mrs. Reese as she pulled the mail from the box. Sameen dropped Root’s arm to hop up the front steps and unlock the door.

When they were inside, Root pulled off her jacket and hung it on a hook by the door. She carefully pulled her shoes off, laughing when Sameen just kicked hers off into a pile by the door.

“Mom!” Sameen called out the front door. “Come on. I’m starving!”

Mrs. Reese walked through the door, Harold and Grace trailing after her. She had the mail tucked under her arms, but one letter was clutched in her other hand. Grinning, she held it out to Sameen.

“It’s from Harvard.”

Root gasped, her heart immediately racing. It was Sameen’s decision letter. Root wanted to vomit. This is what they’d been waiting for, but it was so real now. What if Sameen didn’t get in? What if she did, but Root didn’t get in to MIT? What if they both got in and they got to move forward together?

Sameen took the letter with a steady hand, looking unbothered. She moved to open it, but Harold stopped her.

“Before you open that,” he said, smiling, “I should say that Root’s letter from MIT is here, too.”

“What!” Root screamed. “Where?”

“We didn’t want to give it to you before your quiz, so we pinned it to the fridge for you to open when we got back.”

Root ran forward, weaving between their parents and back out the front door. The porch was cold under her feet for a moment, then the grass was cold under her feet as she raced across the yard. Her letter was here and she was going to know, with absolute certainty, what her future held.

She was halfway across the street in seconds. A loud whoop made her look over her shoulder and she laughed. Sameen had grabbed her bike and was rapidly catching up to Root.

“No fair!” Root laughed when Sameen overtook her. “Cheater!”

“You love me!”

Root ran faster. She watched Sameen jump off her bike and dump it into the grass, Harvard envelope still clutched in her hand. Leaping over the curb and into Harold’s yard, Root realized she left her keys in Sameen’s jacket.

“Oh no!” Root took deep breaths, doubling over to rest her hands on her knees. “The keys.”

A jingling made her look up. Sameen grinned at her, holding the keys in her hand. “Not all of us are blinded by emotions.”

“Ha Ha,” Root breathed. She walked the last few steps to the front door, anxiously bouncing on her toes. “Come one, Sameen! The emotions are blinding me!”

Sameen slid the key into the door and Root was suddenly so glad she’d made a copy when she first moved in. The door was barely open before Root pushed in, stumbling down the entryway and hurrying into the kitchen. The envelope was on the fridge, pinned there by a Dallas Texas Cowboys magnet and Root wondered if Harold had ever watched a sports game in his life.

She pulled the envelope off with trembling hands, her breath still too fast. Her heart was in her throat and she stepped back into the hall to find Sameen. Sameen still looked calm, holding her letter at her side. It made Root relax a little bit, seeing Sameen so relaxed. They’d be fine no matter what happened. Sameen would be her voice of reason and she could be Sameen’s excitement.

“Are we going to break up if we don’t go to the same college?” Root asked, hating how her voice trembled. “Does it all rest on this?”

“No way,” Sameen said, walking to her. She put her hand on Root’s cheek. “We’re going to be together forever.”

Root laughed, eyes welling up. “That’s a little unrealistic, but I’ll go with it.”

Sameen kissed her, softly, and Root had to pull away to keep from actually crying. This was it. They would open their letters, see if they were going to college together in Boston, and then they would plan for the future. No matter what, they would be together. As long as they could.

She took a breath and turned her envelope over. Sliding her finger under the fold, she ripped it open with one quick tug. In front of her, Sameen opened her own letter. Root sent a prayer to a god she knew wasn’t real and pulled her letter out.

‘Dear Samantha,

On behalf of the Admissions Committee, it is my pleasure to offer you admission to the MIT Class of…’

“Holy shit,” Root breathed, hands shaking. “Holy shit.”

“Did you get in?” Sameen asked.

“Yeah.” Root looked up, grinning. “I got in!”

Sameen laughed and wrapped her arms around Root’s waist, lifting her into the air. Root buried her face in Sameen’s hair, laughing and crying at once. She had gotten into MIT. She was going to move to Boston and study Aerospace Engineering and live with Sameen.

Root leaned back and Sameen put her down. “Wait,” she asked, reaching up to wipe tears away, her letter brushing against her face, “what about you?”

Sameen unwrapped one arm from Root and held her letter up.

“’Dear Ms. Shaw,

I am delighted to inform you that the Committee on Admissions has admitted you-‘”

Root pressed her lips to Sameen’s, kissing her as hard as she could. They were going to Boston, going to stay together. Their kiss tasted salty, Root’s tears running down her cheeks. Sameen’s lips were soft on her own and Root could feel every kiss that led to this one. They had worked through so much, tried so hard to get here. Sameen had gotten them here.

Root dropped her letter and cupped Sameen’s face in her hands. She pulled back just enough to breath.

“Thank you,” Root whispered, her lips brushing against Sameen’s. “Thanks for never giving up on me.”

“How could I?” Sameen asked, her hands wandering under Root’s shirt. “You’re my stars and moon, nerd. I would be a mess without you.”

Laughing, Root shook her head. “No way. You probably would have been Martine’s friend, popular and scary.”

Sameen hummed, biting Root’s lip. “I was a mess before Bishop and I would have been a bigger mess here.”

“You haven’t told me about that,” Root pouted. “One of these days, you’ll tell me about you past.”

Sameen just kissed Root again, her hands pushing her shirt up and running over her stomach. Root knew that they had to go back to Sameen’s house and tell their parents that they got in, but right now, she was happy to just kiss Sameen and think about all the kisses they were going to have from now until eternity.

She pulled away again. “Want to have some quick, celebration sex before dinner?”

“God, yes.”

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen sat back on her heels, watching Root try and catch her breath. They’d run away after ice cream to keep celebrating in their own way. Hanging out with the family is nice, but what they’d spent the last few hours doing wasn’t something they wanted to include their parents in. She smiled when Root reached out for her, eyes still closed.

“More?” Sameen asked, crawling forward. “Already?”

“Please, no. Mercy!”

Chuckling, Sameen laid on Root, their slick bodies sticking together. Sameen’s body was sensitive, bites and bruises throbbing. Root’s arms wrapped around Sameen’s waist, pulling her close and tangling their legs together. Sameen shifted her arms, resting them on either side of Root’s head and looking down on her.

“Baby,” Sameen joked. “Can’t even handle a seventh round.”

Root finally opened her eyes. “Fuck you.”

“Mmm.” Sameen pressed a quick kiss to Root’s bruised lips. “You did.”

“You are too smug,” Root sighed. “My own fault, I suppose.”

Sameen shrugged, her skin sticking to Root’s. “Do you realize that we are only going to have sex with each other? We were each other’s firsts and, as long as we stay together, we’ll be each other’s lasts."

“There you go again,” Root said, her mouth quirking up. “Talking about forever.”

Sameen rolled her eyes and dropped down, burying her face in Root’s neck. Root smelled so familiar now that Sameen’s muscles automatically relaxed when they were close. The smallest hint of Root and Sameen was calm. Not that she needed to calm down right now, she wasn’t stressed out, but she knew that when the reality of graduating and going to college set in, she’d stress out.

Her relationship with Root was so stable, comfortable and open, that Sameen couldn’t imagine something breaking them up. She wondered what the pressure of college would bring. It was a new city with new people and new stressors. Would they fight? Would they make up like they always had? Sameen wondered if worry was an emotion, or if it was like stress – a reasonable response to stimuli.

Root would know, but Sameen didn’t feel like asking. Root would want to know what she was worrying about and Sameen wouldn’t be able to answer. She wasn’t worried or stressed and it…made her stressed. Root traced lazy patterns on Sameen’s back, humming softly to herself. They had school tomorrow, so they should get ready for bed soon.

“Hey,” Sameen mumbled, lifting her head, “wanna go to the hill?”

Root nodded and unwrapped her arms. Sameen climbed off of her, moving carefully so she wouldn’t hurt any part of Root’s body. Once she was free, she slid off the bed to the floor and crossed to her dresser. Her room was cold from the air conditioning and she shivered.

“I like your butt,” Root said from the bed as she sat up. “It’s nice. Firm.”

Sameen snorted. “It’s also sore.”

“What can I say? I like it and so do my teeth.”

Ignoring her, Sameen pulled her top drawer open. As she rifled through her underwear, she heard sheets sliding around behind her and guessed Root was getting up. Long arms wrapped around her waist seconds later.

“You’re always so warm,” Root murmured into her ear. “My little furnace.”

“You’ll be glad for the heat when winter in Boston starts.” Sameen pulled a pair of plain boxers out of her drawer and moved out of Root’s grip. “Me and Bear are going to save your life.”

Root smiled softly, leaning against her own dresser. “You already did.”

Reminded of Root’s mom and what happened, Sameen looked away, stepping into her underwear. Root hadn’t really joked about it before. She talked about her deafness, but not about her mom. It was still sensitive, even if Root wasn’t angry anymore. Sameen pulled a sports bra out of her drawer and over her head.

“I’m wearing your jacket,” Root announced, pulling a T-shirt over her head. “You’re never getting it back.”

“There are worse things to lose,” Sameen said, smirking. “Besides, you look good in it.”

Closing her drawer, Sameen opened the next one. She pulled out her overalls, not bothering with a shirt. No one was going to see them and it was hot outside, all traces of their cold winter gone. As she stepped into them, she looked at Root, watching as she buttoned her shorts.

“Have I told you about my childhood?” Sameen asked, surprising herself. “Before Bishop.”

Root frowned at her, sliding her arms into the letterman jacket. “Not really.”

Shrugging, Sameen gathered her things from the top of her dresser. Her wallet went into her back right pocket, phone into the front left, keys clipped to a belt loop. She wondered how they had gotten this far without telling each other everything. Her life with her parents didn’t make her upset, so why hadn’t she talked about it?

“You were so private when we met,” Root said, answering Sameen’s silent question. “I didn’t pry.”

“Maybe I’ll tell you soon.”

Root grinned, heading for the door. “Maybe I’ll listen.”

Sameen chuckled and followed Root out into the hallway. Bear stuck his head out of Lionel’s room, tongue hanging out of his mouth. Sameen waved him back in and quietly jogged over to Lionel’s room to shut the door. Bear and Lionel should spend time together before they were separated in a couple of months.

She walked back to Root and they started down the stairs in silence. The house was still in the late hour, the only light a soft green glow from the kitchen, the time on the oven. Stopping by the door, they slipped into flip-flops and headed out into the warm night.

While Sameen locked the front door, Root wandered down the walkway, staring up at the stars. Sameen couldn’t think of a time they were outside and Root didn’t look up. She stepped off the porch and walked past Root, snagging her arm and pulling her towards the car.

“Come on, we’re literally going somewhere to stargaze.”

Laughing, Root let Sameen pull her forward. “I’m trying to memorize it! We’re leaving soon!”

Sameen released her and unlocked her car door. “You already painted it. Our star chart will hang above our bed in the new apartment, too.”

“That’s lasted a long time, considering it’s made out of cotton and White-out.”

Sameen dropped into her seat, reaching across to unlock Root’s door. Pulling her seat belt across her chest, she kicked flipflops off, preferring to drive barefoot. She started the car. She would miss these late night trips when they moved. The hill was one of her favorite spots and it made her feel big, vast and empty in a good way. Maybe they’d find a campsite outside of Boston, somewhere to look at the sky. She heard the click of Root’s seatbelt and pulled away from the curb.

Root rolled down her window, arm working the hand crank. The warm air flooded the car and Sameen breathed it in, savoring the smell of damp grass. She knew what cities smelled like, cars and metals and food, but she’d grown accustomed to Bishop. When she moved here, she was sure she was going to hate it. It was so different from the traveling lifestyle she’d had when her dad was alive.

They crossed the town line and made it to the hill quickly. Sameen’s headlights barely made a dent in the darkness. She only knew where the hill was because her headlights suddenly had something to bounce off of. Root rolled her window up as Sameen pulled off the road.

She put the car in neutral and turned it off, the sudden silence echoing in her ears. The cicadas were screaming when she opened her door and climbed out, another thing she realized she’d miss in Boston. Were there sounds like that in cities? She couldn’t really remember. Would sirens and car horns become normal to her?

Following Root up the hill, Sameen sighed, tucking her hands into the pockets of her overalls. They stopped at the top and Sameen dug her toes into the grass.

“Remember when we first talked?” Sameen asked, trudging over to where Root was staring up at the stars. “Right here?”

“Our first date?” Root said, smiling. “I remember.”

“That wasn’t a date.” Sameen smiled despite herself. “A date is when two people purposefully go somewhere together. We just both showed up here.”

Root shrugged, still looking up. “It was a Fate Date. Meant to be.”

“Ok, Root.”

Sameen dropped to the ground, sitting cross legged on ground. They hadn’t come out here too often recently. Now that they had the train and the treehouse, they didn’t need to run as far to get away from everyone else. They also had more friends to hang out with, friends who weren’t dating Sameen’s brother.

She made a mental note to call John soon and see how he and his wives were doing. It was still weird to think of the stoic giant she’d been saddled with as a married man. He was an adult now and that meant she was almost an adult now. She’d be living with Root and making breakfast and going to class and work and bars.

Houston hadn’t been a good example of what their life was going to be like. They’d barely been talking then, even if they weren’t officially fighting. Sameen had been unsettled, having nightmares and doubts. Root was trying to keep it all together and pretend nothing was wrong. They’d said terrible things to each other.

It would be better in Boston. There wouldn’t be any history there, no lingering trauma or people who knew too much. It would be Root and Sameen and Bear and the future. Sameen wondered what Root wanted when they moved away.

“Hey, Root?” Sameen asked, glancing up. “What’s your perfect Sunday morning?”

Root finally tore her eyes away from the sky to looked down. She shrugged and lowered herself into the grass, legs stretching in front of her. “Right now? Or in the future?”

“The future. After college. The perfect Sunday morning.”

“Well,” Root started, “you’re there and Bear. I’d sleep in, but not too late. You’d probably make breakfast.”

“Because you can’t cook?” Sameen laughed.

Root rolled her eyes, blushing. “It doesn’t matter why. I just think that you’d make me breakfast. Waffles and bacon.”

“I would.”

“Good,” Root said, bumping their shoulders together. “We’d eat breakfast on the couch, watching the X-Files.”

Sameen leaned back on her hands, looking out into the dark countryside around them. “Remember when we watched that every day?”

“I do,” Root answered, sighing wistfully. “It was our only thing in common.”

“Only for a little bit,” Sameen added. “We had more in common later, once we started hanging out.”

“That’s true, I guess. I think you just humored me for a while.”

Sameen nodded. “Probably. You hooked me pretty quickly. You were cute and smart and you kept texting me.”

Root leaned her head on Sameen’s shoulder and Sameen shifted closer, resting her head on top of Root’s. “You were so strong. You could lift two bicycles over your head.”

“You like this?” Sameen asked, lifting her arm to show off her bicep.

Root pushed Sameen’s arm away, laughing. “You think you’re so cool.”

“I am so cool,” Sameen retorted. “You’re only cool because you’re friends with me.”

“Do you want to know my perfect Sunday or not?”

Sameen nodded, her cheek rubbing against Root’s hair. “Tell me.”

“Ok,” Root started again, “I sleep in and when I wake up, it’s cold, but not too cold. A little rainy and you’ve made me waffles. Bear is sitting in our hallway, waiting for me and I pet him and go to the kitchen. You’re only wearing a T-Shirt and you’re setting the table. We eat, it’s quiet, and we watch X-Files. Then, I get some work done, like a project, and you work out. It’s easy and soft and nice. Bear naps with his belly up.”

Sameen smiled, picturing their Sunday morning. Their apartment would have wood floors, but a lot of carpets. A big kitchen with huge fridge. It would have pictures of their family on the fridge, even pictures of Sameen’s parents.

“How does that sound?” Root asked.

“It sounds great,” Sameen assured her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”


	59. And Then You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you weren't expecting this so soon!

Root pulled the door open and walked into the 7/11, Sameen following behind her. The 7/11 looked cleaner than it had last year. Sameen stepped past her into an aisle, brushing her hand over Root’s back. Smiling, Root headed for the slushies.

Sameen just won her fourth, and final, soccer championship and they’d left Gen and Martine in the hotel room to spend time together in their usual place. It was so weird to think that this was the last time they’d wander into this 7/11 in Georgetown to buy one blue slushie and one red slushie. Stopping in front of the machine, Root pulled out two cups, placing them under the slushie nozzles.

She pulled the levers and glanced over her shoulder. The place really did look cleaner than it had the last time they were here. The floors were very white and everything was fully stocked. Sameen poked her head out of an aisle and looked at Root.

“Does this place look different?”

Root nodded. “Yeah, cleaner.”

The man behind the counter rested his arms on the cash register. “New management. Actually cares about the place.”

“Huh,” Root said, thoughtfully. “Interesting. So 7/11 is a franchise?”

She turned back to her drinks as the cashier described the 7/11 business. She lifted the levers and pulled lids from the holder. The cup was smooth under her fingers as she pushed the lids on. Sameen’s footsteps squeaked across the floor and Root grabbed straws, moving towards the check out counter.

“7/11 gives you a whole store and pays the rent!” the cashier said, picking up Sameen’s Nutella and swiping it over the sensor. “I might buy my own store.”

“You should,” Root encouraged him. She ripped the paper straw cover off and stuck them into their drinks. “Become a business owner.”

“$8.93. Maybe I will.”

Sameen pulled her wallet out and pulled out a ten dollar bill. She tossed it onto the counter. “Keep the change,” she said, picking up her Nutella and plastic spoon. “Consider it an investment.”

Root laughed, bumping her shoulder into Sameen and pushing her towards the door. Sameen jogged forward, pushing the door open. As she walked out into the warm April air, Root turned around, lifting a slushie in a salute.

“Good luck with your business plans!”

The door swung shut behind her as she followed Sameen towards the short wall next to the parking lot. When they got to their wall, she waited for Sameen to hop up before passing up the drinks. Putting two hands on the wall, she hoisted herself up, glad she and Sameen had started working out together again.

“I hope that guy buys a business,” Root said, hooking her leg over the edge of the wall and spinning to drop on her butt. “He seemed enthusiastic.”

Sameen just grunted and handed Root the blue slushie. “I’m sure my dollar and seven cents is a nice little nest egg.”

Smiling, Root sipped her slushie, kicking her heels against the wall. It was a warm night and as she drank the icy drink, the cold spread through her chest. What did Root want to do after college? Realistically. She could try and work for NASA, apply for their program and go through training. She had done an internship after all.

Maybe she could work at the Very Large Array, looking at the stars for a living and doing engineer work. What would Sameen do in New Mexico? Probably work at a hospital and join a local sports team. Root grinned around her straw picturing a grown-up Sameen in a tight softball uniform.

“It’s hard to believe this is my last game,” Sameen said, sighing. “No more soccer. I’ve been playing soccer for…Wow, eleven years.”

Root looked at Sameen, trying to picture her as a seven year old kicking around a ball. As usual, Root couldn’t even picture it. A breeze blew across them, lifting Root’s shirt slightly. She’d left Sameen’s letterman jacket in the hotel room because it was too hot to wear.

“It was nice of you to let Gen score the winning goal.”

Sameen put her drink down and picked up the jar of Nutella. “She needed it. Now she’ll go into next year as a soccer star.”

“Will you keep in touch with her once we leave?”

“Probably. She’ll need supportive friends.”

Root looked at the sky. Their sophomore year had started with Sameen dating Tomas, but they’d made up fairly quickly. That felt like forever ago, Root thought. Trying to remember what they’d been like then. Their whole childhood was behind them now, just memories, and they had so much time to go. After they graduated, anyway.

“God,” Root said, turning around to face Sameen on the wall, “time feels so weird right now.”

“What do you mean?”

Root put her slushie down, crossing her legs. “Well, we have a month or so of high school left, but we’ve already been accepted to college. It’s like what’s the point? Why not just move to Boston now?”

“We need a high school diploma to go to college,” Sameen pointed out, words thick around a spoonful of chocolate. “Catch 22.”

“That’s not a Catch 22, but I get your point.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, pulling the spoon from her mouth. “Yeah, yeah, you read the assigned books and I didn’t.”

Root laughed and leaned across the wall, pressing a quick kiss to Sameen’s chocolate covered lips. “I’m the smart one in this relationship.”

Pulling away, Root ran her eyes over Sameen’s face, drinking it in. Sameen looked off, like she was thinking really hard, her old empty face a surprise. Root sat back and tried to think of what to say. Had she said something wrong? They had always teased each other about intelligence.

“’My dear child,’” Sameen said quietly. “’the pages of the book of love were torn on this day, into the fire of hatred and rancor these pages were thrown on this day. My dear child, the blossoms of hope and love withered away on this day, the wind took them with itself to faceless graves far, far away. I shall build you anew, homeland, with clay from my own flesh if need be, I shall build your ceilings new colonnades, with my bones if need be. I shall fill you once more with flowers, as your youth demands, we shall flow like blood, out of the flood of my tears…”

Root wasn’t sure what to say, so picked her slushie back up, fingers sliding in the condensation. Sameen hadn’t recited poetry for her in a while and it was as wonderful as Root remembered.

“Simin Behbahani,” Sameen continued. “She was my mom’s favorite poet.”

“Oh,” Root breathed. “That was beautiful.”

“My mother,” Sameen sighed, “was beautiful. She would be so happy I’m graduating high school. That I’m going to Harvard. She’d drag me to the mosque to thank God I have a girlfriend.”

Root chuckled. “She wouldn’t care that you’re gay?”

“Probably not,” Sameen answered. She scooped Nutella out of the jar. “I think she’d be so deliriously happy I was in a relationship that she could overlook like gay stuff.”

“What about your dad?” Root asked, trying her luck. “Would he be happy?”

Sameen didn’t answer right away. She stuck the spoon into her mouth, breathing through her nose. Root was shocked and thrilled that Sameen was talking about her parents. She hadn’t said a lot, but it was nice to know Sameen’s mom would support her.

“I think my dad would be ok with it,” Sameen finally said. “He was in the military, but I don’t think he was conservative. He loved me so much, I don’t think I could do anything to make him hate me. I was so young when he died, though. I guess I don’t really know.”

“Yeah,” Root breathed. She tried to sound upbeat. “I’m sure he would have loved you no matter what.”

Sameen watched her for a moment with sleepy eyes. Root couldn’t tell what she was thinking, if she was going to talk more or if she was done. Either way, Root was glad for the glimpse into Sameen’s pre-Bishop life. Sameen was loved growing up and she was loved now.

“I learned how to play soccer from my mom.” Sameen picked up her slushie. “She and I would play while my dad was away. I didn’t have a lot of friends because I was angry and small and not white. My mom was my best friend.”

“She taught you soccer and poetry?” Root smiled. “A true feminist.”

Sameen chuckled, nodding. “Yeah, she was amazing. My dad taught me about cars. I was too young to really learn, but I would sit next to him and watch him work. He had an old car, I can’t remember what it was, but it was really cool.”

“You don’t remember?”

Sameen shook her head, fingers picking at her drink’s plastic lid. “No, I…He died when I was ten. Then, we moved to Texas. My mom died, and I went to foster care for a few months, and then, Mrs. Reese adopted me.”

They were quiet for a moment. Root wasn’t sure what to say. She knew firsthand how difficult losing your family could be, but Sameen wasn’t affected like she was. If Root was telling someone about her dad leaving and her mom going to jail, she’d probably cry. Sameen didn’t look upset at all. She was just drinking her red slushie and looking up at the stars.

“Tell me about your favorite Christmas,” Root said. “I have been trying to picture you as a kid for years now, but I still can’t guess what little Sameen would think of the holidays.”

Sameen’s head turned to the side and she raised her eyebrows at Root. “’Little Sameen’? Is that a short joke?”

“No!” Root laughed, “I mean, young Sameen. Baby Sameen.”

“Huh,” Sameen snorted, still looking slightly annoyed. She took a breath. “My favorite Christmas? I guess…When I was seven. We were in Paris and my parents bought me this huge chocolate bar shaped like the Eiffel Tower. I ate it so fast and got so sick.”

Root smiled at Sameen, chewing on her straw. “All your favorite travel stories are about food. I should have guessed your Christmas one would be about food, too.”

“I am what I am, babe.”

Root rolled her eyes, but she smiled and took a long drink of her slushie. She suddenly wished they’d asked for their own hotel room instead of sharing with Gen and Martine. She had been looking forward to playing video games, but now she wished she could just cuddle with Sameen until she fell asleep.

Sameen sighed and put her cup down on the wall with a soft thump. “Do you think we would have met if my parents hadn’t died? If we’d grown up separately?”

“Of course,” Root said, confident. “We’re meant to be, Sameen Shaw. We would always meet and fall in love.”

“We’d probably be a lot less well-adjusted,” Sameen laughed. “You’d probably be using your smarts for evil.”

“You’d probably join the military like your dad.”

Sameen shrugged. “I could still have gone to med school. You don’t know.”

Root took a deep breath. “I don’t have to know. We’re together now.”

“I love you,” Sameen said abruptly. “I really do.”

“I know,” Root said, smiling. She did know. She’d known for a long time, before she even knew she knew. They’d been through so much together and Sameen was the glue that held them together. Root sighed and put her drink down. “I should really apologize.”

“What?” Sameen looked confused. “For what?”

Root shrugged, lifting her legs and wrapping her arms around her knees. “You…You’re the reason we’re still together. I’m the reason we keep almost breaking up. I’m…emotionally reckless and I bottle things up and I’m always so willing to just walk away. But you…you’re amazing and I’m sorry.”

Sameen just watched her for a moment, her eyes running over Root’s face. Root felt exposed, like she’d stripped naked in public, and Sameen was trying to decide her sentence. She really was sorry. She should have been better over the past few years. Root had been so happy during the good times and so quick to protect herself during the bad times.

Sameen was steady and faithful and honest. Root was going to work hard for the rest of their relationship trying to make up for their rocky start. She wasn’t going to walk away anymore or let things fester. They were past that. She was eighteen years old, an adult, and it was time for her to start acting like one.

“I forgive you,” Sameen said, snapping Root out of her thoughts. “I don’t really think you need to apologize for anything, but I forgive you. Besides, aren’t the teenage years when you’re supposed to be dumb and sad?”

Root smiled. “You weren’t dumb and sad.”

“I was dumb,” Sameen countered. “Maybe not sad, but you can’t say I wasn’t dumb.”

“God, we really are grown-ups now, huh?”

“I love you,” Sameen said, smirking. “You’re a big, moody nerd, but I love you a lot.”

Root shifted forward onto her knees, stretching across the space between them again. “You better make out with me now before we have to go back. Your friends are so needy.”

“Yeah,” Sameen said, leaning close and brushing her lips against Root’s, “they’re the needy ones.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two Chapters and an Epilogue left.


	60. Tonight Tonight

Root reached behind her to close her necklace, the HAM radio symbol resting against the dark blue of her prom dress. Pulling her long, curled hair free, she sighed happily. Last year, Sameen had worn the necklace to prom, but this year, it was Root’s turn. Sameen was wearing a suit, and she was wearing a dress.

Turning, Root moved to the mirror across the bedroom and stopped to admire herself. This was the last big event before graduation and she was excited. There were no weird relationship problems clouding prom this year, no Hanna or nightmares. She gripped her large skirt, swirling it slightly in front of herself.

She’d gone shopping with Mrs. Reese and Grace while Lionel, Harold, and Sameen had gone suit shopping. Root had somehow gone from having no mother to having two and it was amazing. Her dress made her feel like a princess, the skirt pooling out from her corset, lacy and wonderful. Staring at her reflection, she almost wanted to reach out and touch it.

It felt like a lifetime ago that she was wearing sneakers with holes and thrift store jeans. She blinked at her reflection, wondering if she looked like her mother when she was young. Root was probably never going to see her again. She didn’t want to see her again, but sometimes…sometimes she wished her mother was here to see her succeed.

It might be petty, to want to rub her happiness in her mother’s face, but Root was living the life she had always wanted, that her mother couldn’t give her. She was going to prom with her girlfriend, graduating second in her class, going to MIT, and she’d done it all despite her parents. Maybe she really could be successful. Maybe she could do great things outside of Bishop.

Her phone buzzed on Sameen’s nightstand and Root reached for it, pulling the charging cord out. A message from Sameen glowed on her screen.

/Are you ready? Let’s go/

She smiled. Of course Sameen was impatient. Root had made her stay down stairs with Mrs. Reese so she could walk down the staircase and make an entrance. To prepare for their senior prom, they’d watched several 80s prom movies and Root had loved them.

Root slid her phone into one of the hidden pockets in her dress. She patted the other pocket, making sure she could feel the small box she’d put in earlier. Reassured, she headed for the door. It would be awful if she didn’t have it for her big moment later.

Pushing open the door, Root stepped into the hallway. She automatically looked towards Lionel’s door before remembering that he was getting ready at a friend’s house. He’d meet them at the school. She started for the stairway, her heels loud against the wooden floor.

When she reached the steps, she took her skirt in her hands, lifting it out of the way. Stepping down, she laughed. Bear was sitting at the bottom of the steps and when he saw her, he started barking. A second later, Sameen’s head poked out of the living room, her hair pulled back in a tight bun.

The rest of her body appeared and she rested her hand on Bear’s head, whispering for him to stop barking. She looked great in her suit, her coat unbuttoned and her tie slightly loose. Sameen stared up at Root, smiling.

Root stopped on the steps, dropping her skirts in a grand gesture. “How do I look?”

“Amazing,” Sameen answered. “Very fancy.”

Root shrugged casually. “That’s what I thought.”

Snorting, Sameen rolled her eyes. “Ok, don’t get too smug. You look fine.”

Grinning, Root started down the stairs again, walking down as quickly as she dared. The moment her feet were on the ground, Sameen wrapped her arms around Root’s waist and closed the distance between them. Root rested her hands on Sameen’s shoulders. Their height difference was almost comical because of Root’s shoes, but Shaw didn’t seem to mind.

Dipping her head, Root brushed their lips together, careful not to smear her lipstick. A bright flash of light startled her and she jerked back, Sameen’s arms keeping her upright. Beside them, Mrs. Reese was standing in the doorway to the living room, her camera in her hands.

She reached up to wipe her eye. “Wow, you girls look so amazing. I can’t believe you’re so grown-up! My babies.”

“Mom,” Sameen groaned, “stop. Why are you crying?”

“This is an emotional moment,” Mrs. Reese answered, sniffling. “I was so worried about you when you first came, but you did so well! Going to prom! Twice!”

“Aww,” Root chuckled. “Little Sameen is an adult now.”

“Christ,” Sameen scoffed. “I don’t get it.”

Root patted Sameen’s shoulders before pulling away. “You don’t have to. Just give your mom a hug.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, but she walked over to Mrs. Reese and gave her a hug. Root smiled as Mrs. Reese hugged her back, resting her chin on top of Sameen’s head. Sameen wasn’t very affectionate to anyone other than Root and it was nice to see her show Mrs. Reese some love, even if Root had to tell her to.

“Ok,” Mrs. Reese sighed, pulling away. “Let’s get some pictures and then you two can go.”

Mrs. Reese made them take what felt like 50 pictures. They took a few on the stairs, a few in the living room, few in front of the door. Eventually, Sameen got tired of posing and Mrs. Reese let them leave, following them out to the yard and taking pictures as they walked to the car.

When Sameen unlocked her door, she turned back to Mrs. Reese. “Stop taking pictures! You have enough!” She yanked her door open and dropped into the car, slamming the door behind her.

Root smiled as Mrs. Reese across the car as Sameen unlocked her door. “She’s just cranky because Lionel threatened to eat all the cake before we got there.”

“I know she doesn’t mean it,” Mrs. Reese said, grinning. “I just like to embarrass her.”

“We’ll see you tomorrow. We’re spending the night at the train.”

“Be safe.” Mrs. Reese winked. “See you tomorrow.”

Root opened her door and carefully lowered herself into the car, smoothing her skirt as she sat. It took her a minute to pull her skirt into the car and close the door without catching any of the lace. She pulled her seatbelt across her chest, clicked it into place, and grinned at Sameen.

“Let’s go!”

Sameen grinned back at her and started the car, threw the gearshift into first, and pulled away from the curb. Root wanted to take her shoes off and put her head out the window, but it was too early in the night for that. She still had to look good for the dance. Instead, she just looked out the window, watching the houses she’d known all her life pass by.

Every minute that passed was one minute closer to leaving this place. She was starting to think that having real plans to leave Bishop was making it easier to wait. Before she’d gotten accepted to college, she’d just been hoping for a real future, pretending she’d be fine if she didn’t get in. Now, she had something concrete to hold on to. She wasn’t going to be stuck here forever.

“You really do look amazing.”

Root looked at Sameen. “What?”

“You look really beautiful,” Sameen answered, staring through the windshield. “I don’t want you to think I was joking earlier.”

“Sameen,” Root laughed, reaching across the armrest between them to lay her hand on Sameen’s thigh, “I believed you. Did I tell you you look beautiful?”

“You did not.”

“Well, you do.” Root pressed a quick kiss to Sameen’s cheek. “This suit makes you look very dashing. I can’t wait to take it off you later.”

Sameen snorted and clicked her turn signal on. She glanced at Root as she turned right into the school parking lot. “Let’s just survive this dance first.”

“Is Martine coming?” Root asked, reaching for her seatbelt. “I couldn’t tell at the salon. She’s always so crabby.”

Pulling into a parking space, Sameen smiled. “I think she is. I don’t know if Tomas is coming, though.”

Root groaned, unbuckling herself. “Does anyone care?”

“Probably not,” Sameen agreed, opening her door and stepping out into the warm, May night.

Root watched as she stretched, arms raised above her hands. Sameen looked handsome, her pulled back hair accentuating her jawline and sharp cheekbones. Root tried to imagine what she’d look like in 10 years, 20, but she couldn’t. Sameen always existed in the present.

Sameen ducked down and stuck her head into the car. “Are you coming inside?”

Root took a breath and nodded. “Yes, but aren’t you forgetting something?” She nodded to her door. “I’m a lady, you know.”

Rolling her eyes, Sameen slammed her door and walked around the car to Root’s side. She pulled the door open and gestured grandly to the parking lot. Root laughed at her annoyed look, but picked up her skirt and carefully stepped outside, making sure to brush against Sameen’s chest as she walked past.

Behind her, she heard the car door slam shut. A moment later, Sameen appeared beside her and offered her arm.

“Shall we go in?”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen caught Root as she spun in and held her in place before she could dance off again. They’d been dancing for what felt like hours and Sameen was ready to sit down. It wasn’t that she couldn’t keep up with Root’s dancing, it more that she didn’t want to. Root bounced in her arms, shoulders shaking to the music.

“Come on, Sameen,” Root screamed over the pumping bass. “Dance!”

Sameen shook her head and started walking backwards. She lifted her hands to sign. ‘I need water!’

Root rolled her eyes, but she stopped dancing. She headed for their table. Sameen followed her, eyes wandering around the room. Harold and Grace were still at the punch table, trying to talk to each other over the noise. Smiling to herself, Sameen turned back to Root’s shoulders, watching them move in time to the music.

Grace and Harold were chaperoning the dance because they were teachers, but they’d made sure to take plenty of pictures of Root and Sameen. They were taking their roles as doting parents seriously, but Root didn’t seem to mind the way Sameen had minded with Mrs. Reese. She seemed to really enjoy it.

Root stopped in front of their table and turned around. “Ok, drink water so we can dance some more.”

Sameen groaned and dropped into a seat. She rested her chin on her hand, glad the music was quieter away from the dance floor. “Do we have to? Can’t we just relax? This suit was expensive. I don’t want to ruin it with sweat.”

“Oh, fine.” Root sat down, carefully spreading her skirt. “We can rest. Party Pooper.”

Reaching for her water, Sameen squinted her eyes at Root, not taking offense. They were having a good time. She looked around for their friends. Lionel was across the room, talking to a group of boys. For a moment, she was worried that he was being bullied. Then, he pulled a face and all the boys laughed.

He was fine. Sameen sipped her water. Lionel had fallen in with some boys at school, some video game nerds who let him ramble about Call of Duty. Sameen was glad he had some new friends. She didn’t have to worry about him as much next year. He’d even started working out more to prepare for his lacrosse tryout.

She remembered when he was still just a chubby kid, wishing he was skinny and popular. They’d started a nutrition plan, gotten him onto a workout regimen. He was still chubby, but he was strong now. Sameen knew that if he kept it up, he could end up just as strong as she was one day.

“Root!”

Sameen turned in her seat and saw Gen coming towards them. She looked cute, her yellow dress simple, but nice. Grinning, Gen wiped her face, sweating from dancing. A cute sophomore boy had asked her to the prom, getting his older brother to buy them tickets. Gen had come in a limo, which Sameen thought was a little excessive, but Gen had blown up their group chat with excited texts. Sameen raised a hand to say hello, but Gen blew past her and dropped into the chair next to Root.

“Root, he kissed me!” Gen grinned, leaning on the table. “A real kiss!”

“Gen, that’s great!” Root put her hands over Gen’s. “Did you like it?”

Nodding, Gen blushed. “I did. I really did. He even said he’d be my boyfriend.”

Sameen pushed her glass away. “That’s really nice, Gen.”

Gen’s eyes flicked towards her, but she focused on Root again. “Do you think he’s cool? Or should I tell him no?”

Frowning, Sameen leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms. Ever since Valentine’s Day, Gen had been nice to Root. Sameen hadn’t realized that they were so close. When was Sameen’s position as Coolest Senior taken? How did Root get it?

Root glance at Sameen and winked. “He seems fine,” she said to Gen. “Give him a shot.”

“Give who a shot?” Martine asked, appearing at their table and sitting down next to Sameen. “A boy? Dump him.”

Sameen snorted and turned to Martine, a little surprised she was still here. “Single again?”

“I think I’m done with boys for a while,” Martine answered. She dropped her head onto her arms. “I’ll wait until Boston. Find a nice Harvard man.”

Gen looked around the table. “So...yes or no on Mark?”

“Date him,” Martine grumbled. She raised her head to glare at Gen. “But know that men...are bastards.”

“Go kiss him back,” Root said, tapping Gen’s hands. “Be his girlfriend.”

“Ok!” Gen stood up and raced back to the dance floor. “Thanks!”

Sameen looked over her shoulder, watching Gen disappear into the crowd. She was still so young, with her own family troubles and relationship drama. Maybe Sameen would keep tabs on her when she left. She could make Lionel give her updates. Gen could probably handle herself, but Sameen could help her out a little bit.

Martine groaned loudly. “Why am I here?”

“Because your mom likes us?” Root offered. She leaned her arms on the table. “What happened with Tomas?”

“He wouldn’t take off that stupid leather jacket,” Martine answered. “It’s so hot.”

Sameen snorted. “Yeah, that sounds right.”

“Hey,” Root said softly, “Can we go to the roof?”

Her eyebrows drew down and Sameen looked at Root closely. She seemed nervous, but Sameen wasn’t sure why. She nodded slowly.

“Yeah, ok.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Root stepped out onto the roof, hands in her hidden pockets. She looked up at the sky as she walked toward the concrete railing, eyes searching for their constellation. Sagitta should be almost overhead, it was last year, but she was having trouble finding it. Her hand wrapped around the small box in her pocket and she turned around to smile at Sameen.

“It’s pretty warm,” Root said, trying to sound light. “I feel like my makeup is melting.”

Sameen shrugged, her jacket sliding down her arms. “It was cold inside.”

A breeze blew across the roof, rustling Root’s skirt and tussling her hair. Sameen pulled her arms out of her jacket, throwing it over her arm. She began unbuttoning her sleeves, eyebrows raised.

“Why did you want to come up here?”

It was Root’s turn to shrug. “We came out last year. I thought it would be nice.”

Sameen didn’t look like she believed her. “Yeah, my love for the Texas heat is well known.”

Root rolled her eyes. “Don’t be mean.” She moved to the edge of the roof, pulling her hands out of her skirt to lean against the railing. “Help me find Sagitta.”

Sameen appeared beside her and hung her jacket over the railing. She rolled up her sleeves, face turned up to the stars. After a moment, she pointed upwards.

“There, to the west.”

Root smiled as she found the constellation. The arrow gave her confidence and she pushed away from the railing. She could feel Sameen’s eyes on her as she fisted her hands in her skirt and lifted it out of the way. Carefully, she knelt down and Sameen turned around to face her.

“Root, what are you doing?” Sameen asked. She reached out to take Root’s hands, but Root hit her away. “Root, what-”

“Sameen Shaw,” Root started, sliding her hand back into her pocket and took the box in her fingers, “I have something for you.”

“What?” Sameen frowned.

“I have…” Root took a deep breath. “I have a promise and a symbol.”

Sameen didn’t answer, but she stopped asking questions. Root watched her carefully for a moment, before continuing.

“The promise is that I will try. I will try as hard as I can to love you like you deserve and stay with you for as long as I can. I love you, Sameen Shaw, and I’ve let you do the heavy lifting in this relationship and that was wrong of me.”

Sameen blinked, looking uncomfortable. “Um, thanks. I appreciate it.”

“I know you aren’t going to get emotional, but I also know you’ll understand how serious I am.” Root blinked, her eyes starting to well up. “I don’t know who I’d be without you. You came into my life right when I needed you and you were more than I could have ever dreamed of. You’re smart and so...You’re so strong, Sameen. In every way that I’m not.”

Root wiped her eyes with her free hand, looking down at the ground. She’d promised herself she wasn’t going to cry. The whole point of this was to be strong and show Sameen she didn’t need emotional support. She cleared her throat.

“I promise to clean up after myself in our new apartment. I promise to do the dishes after you cook.” Root looked up at Sameen, the corner of her mouth quirking up. “I promise not to cook.”

Sameen held her hands up. “Wait, are you proposing?”

“No,” Root assured her, “I’m not. I know we’ve talked about maybe not getting married. We’re so young and who knows where we’ll be after college.”

“Then you don’t need to kneel,” Sameen said, reaching down.

Root rolled her eyes, but gave Sameen her free hand and climbed to her feet. “I’m trying to do something romantic, Sameen. You kneel for that.”

“Not when you’re in a dress like that,” Sameen snorted.

“Stop it,” Root said, stepping back. “I’m serious. I love you, Sameen, and I’m trying to promise you forever because you’ve worked so hard to show me forever.”

“I accept, Root. I take your forever or your ‘as long as we can’.” Sameen smiled at her. “I don’t care about big romantic gestures. I just want you. I want you in beautiful dresses and old, dog pajama shirts and the pair of overalls we seem to share. I can say, unclouded by emotion, that I love you.”

Root laughed wetly, fully crying. “I think that’s an oxymoron.”

“Hey,” Sameen said, winking. “Don’t call me a moron.”

Root pulled the small box from her box and handed it to Sameen. “That’s my, uh, my symbol.”

Sameen opened the box, and pulled out a familiar necklace with a Ham Radio symbol. She looked at Root, confused, and Root smiled. She gestured to the necklace.

“Now we don’t have to take turns,” Root said quietly. “We can both wear them at the same time. It’s supposed to symbolize that we’re equals, you know? Like we’re listening out for each other. It’s kind of dumb, but –“

Sameen closed the distance between them, crashing their lips together. Root stumbled backwards, but Sameen’s strong arms caught her and held her upright. Eyes fluttering shut, Root wrapped her arms around Sameen’s shoulders, sliding her hand up Sameen’s neck.

Root let herself be swept up in Sameen, the way she smelled, the way she tasted. Their kiss felt magical, under the stars, and as a breeze blew around them, she felt like a fairytale. Sameen bit her lip and Root grinned, pulling away.

“You like the necklace?”

Sameen nodded, kissing Root again. “You bought me the same gift twice.”

“Yup,” Root sighed into Sameen’s mouth. “It means more this time, though.”

Sameen slowly released Root, making sure she was steady on her feet. Reaching into her shirt pocket, Sameen pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to Root.

“You’re pretty gross right now,” Sameen chuckled. “Wipe your face.”

Laughing, Root took the handkerchief. “You love me anyway.”

“I really do.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“I know it only takes us to Orlando, but I think we should go all the way to the Keys,” Root said, her finger tracing a line on Scully’s screen. “We could get a hotel room and rent a boat or something. I can get Elias to make us fake IDs.”

Sameen nodded. “Sure, we can do that.”

Root looked at her and smiled, looking tired, but happy. Sameen smiled back, pulling her legs up to sit cross-legged on the bed. They’d left prom early, leaving Gen with her new boyfriend, Lionel with his friends, and Martine alone. Sameen thought she’d be ok. Martine was pretty resilient and, anyway, she said her mom was waiting up for her.

Sameen looked at the computer screen, still amazed at Root’s work. She’d somehow turned this old train car into a fully functioning computer system. It was a cool bedroom, too. The only thing their clubhouse was missing was a bathroom, but tonight would be the last time Sameen peed in the woods, so it didn’t really matter anymore.

They were planning their summer roadtrip, starting in Bishop and ending in Boston. She reached up to play with her new necklace, idly tugging on the pendant. Harold had gone to Boston last week to finalize their apartment. Apparently, he’d bought the entire apartment building and was going to fix it up over the summer. Sameen still wasn’t convinced he was just a teacher, but she was probably never going to ask.

Root leaned against her, their shoulders brushing together. “What are you thinking about?”

“How weird your new dad is,” Sameen answered, scoffing. “You truly went from rags to riches.”

“I think I was always meant to be rich.” Root wrapped her arms around Sameen’s shoulders and pulled her down onto the bed. “I can’t cook because my DNA always knew I’d eventually have waitstaff.”

“Is that what I am to you?” Sameen joked. “Waitstaff?”

“Please,” Root said, sniffing. “Like I’d date the help.”

Sameen frowned. “I don’t like this conversation.”

“Yeah, I went too far. Do you want to dance?”

She pulled away, sliding off the bed and moving to the other side of the car. Sameen sat up, taking in the image of Root in her Belgian Malinois pajama shirt. The shirt barely reached mid-thigh on Root now, the bottom hem unraveling, loose thread hanging down. Root had worn that shirt almost every night for almost four years and it was starting to become see-through. Sameen would have to find her something else to wear to bed. Sameen smiled when Root started swaying without any music.

“Scully,” Root said loudly, “play something from my Dance Party Mix!”

Sameen rolled her eyes, smiling, as the music started. Root had only started liking music again recently, still preferring just listening to space sounds on her new HAM radio. Watching her dance like an idiot in the train made Sameen feel nice. It made her think about the future and Root’s progress and what they’d be like in 20 years.

Root reached out to her and Sameen climbed off the bed, crossing the room. When she was close enough, Root grabbed her shoulders, shaking them back and forth and forcing Sameen to dance. Her exuberance made Sameen laugh. Root was energetic, carefree, and it was such a change from her usual seriousness that it made Sameen feel carefree, too.

“Only two more weeks of school, Sameen!” Root screamed over the music. “Then we’re free!”

Sameen moved her shoulders on her own, giving in to Root’s infectious energy. ‘Sameen and Root take over the big city,’ she signed, bouncing on her toes. ‘Let’s join the mafia!’

Root laughed, throwing her head back. Sameen smiled, thinking about happiness and the way Root’s hair shone in the light. Tomorrow morning, they would pack up the things they wanted to take to college, turn out the train lights, and slid the big metal door shut until they came home for Thanksgiving. Root straightened up, jumping forward to wrap her arms around Sameen’s shoulders.

“I wanna scream!” she screamed into Sameen’s ear. “We’re gonna live forever!”

Sameen snorted. Root was being ridiculous, but Sameen didn’t want to pull away to sign. Instead, she kissed Root’s cheek and tangled her fingers into Root’s threadbare shirt. From outside the train car, Sameen heard a train whistle. She pulled away, looking towards the door. If Root wanted to scream with excitement, then she was going to.

‘A train is coming,’ Sameen signed. ‘Wanna scream?’

Root’s face lit up even more and Sameen wondered if you could be blinded by a smile. She looked away, walking to the door and sucking in the warm night air. The music flowed past her across the tracks and into the trees. Root stood beside her and took her hand, intertwining their fingers.

The train barreled towards them, the noise slowly drowning out the music. Root squeezed her hand, drawing in a deep breath and stepping closer to the edge of the car. Sameen smiled, taking her own breath. They were officially too big for this town, too grown to be in this place. Bishop was where they needed to be when they were 14, but it wasn’t where they needed to be at 18. It was time to move on and they were moving on together.

The train blew past and they screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One Chapter and An Epilogue


	61. For Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not crying, you're crying!
> 
> Only an Epilogue left after this chapter

Root stared up at Bishop Senior High School, nervously fiddling with the graduation cap in her hands. It was their graduation day and all around her the classmates she’d known all her life and their families were gathered outside the gymnasium. It seemed silly to need a ceremony to finalize their graduation, but Root was just glad that high school was almost over.

The outside of the gym looked dirty, the previous night’s rainstorm failing to wash the Texas dirt from the walls. The streaks of grey dirt reminded Root of the times she and Sameen played basketball on the uneven court on the other side of the gym. Their debate team was so bad, but Root liked to watch the beginning of the competitions. They’d go outside and play basketball or just jump in the puddles.

She took a deep breath and put her cap on her head, making sure the tassel was on the right side. It was so hot that she’d braided her hair, the long dark rope hanging down her back. Smiling to herself, Root let the familiar June heat calm her. In a week, she’d get in a car with Sameen and Bear and leave. If she wanted to, she never had to come back, never had to see this small, dirty town again.

Root was willing to admit her time here hadn’t all been bad. She had fun with Hanna in middle school and had her first kiss with someone she liked. She’d gone ghost hunting and roadtripping and built a treehouse. She’d started an astronomer’s club and met her first love and interned at NASA. If she could do all that with a terrible home life and no money, she could only imagine what was possible outside of town lines.

A hand on her shoulder made her jump and she turned to see Mrs. Reese standing next to her.

“Oops,” Mrs. Reese said, smiling, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Root shook her head, turning to face her. “It’s ok. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“I could tell.” She ran her arm over Root’s arm. “Are you nervous?”

“I am,” Root sighed. “In a good way, though. I’m just thinking about moving away. I’m ok, though. I’m excited.”

Mrs. Reese pulled her into a hug, resting her chin on the top of Root’s head. It felt nice to be hugged and Root closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around Mrs. Reese. She would miss her surrogate mom when she left. Mrs. Reese had taken Root in when her mom went to rehab and she’d taken her in again when her mom went away for good.

Root pulled back, reaching up to wipe her eyes. “Thank you,” she said, looking away. “For everything. I really mean it.”

“You deserved all of it,” Mrs. Reese said softly. “You’re a good girl, Root. I’m glad I got to know you.”

Someone shouted Root’s name and she turned to see Zoe waving at her through the crowd. Root laughed in surprise. John, Zoe, and Joss must have driven down from Dallas to make the ceremony. They’re semester had ended a few days ago, but they’d said they were staying in Dallas for the summer. She hadn’t expected to see them before she left.

“Go ahead,” Mrs. Reese said, patting Root’s shoulder. “I’m going to check on Sameen before the ceremony starts.”

Root nodded, smiling at her one last time, and started towards her friends. Lionel had already found them and Root watched him play fight with John. John wrapped his arm around Lionel’s neck and Root thought of Sameen and how the three of them would always wrestle. Root remembered having to racing all three of them to dinner, how she’d learned to be the fastest one to grab food. Now, Lionel would be able to eat at his own pace.

“Root!” Zoe laughed, jumping forward to hug her. “I missed you!”

Laughing, Root hugged her back, swaying from side to side. Zoe had always been there for Root. She’d given her advice when Sameen was dating Tomas, when Root really needed it. She was basically Root’s big sister.

“I missed you, too,” Root said softly. “I’m glad you’re here.”

Zoe pulled away. She pushed herself onto her tip toes. “Did you get taller?” Looking over her shoulder, she waved for Joss to come closer. “Babe, tell me if she got taller.”

Joss wondered over, wearing a suit that fit her perfectly. Root reached out to tug on her shirt collar.

“You look amazing,” she complimented Joss. “Very professional.”

Shrugging, Joss knocked Root’s hand away lightly. “Flattery will get you nowhere. Now stand up straight.”

Rolling her eyes, Root stepped back from Zoe and stood up straight. She didn’t think she’d gotten any taller in the last couple of months, but her graduation robe only fell to mid-calf and Sameen’s practically brushed the floor. Lionel and John broke off their fight and came to see what was happening.

“What’s going on?” John asked, smiling at Root. “Hey.”

“Hi, John,” Root laughed. “They’re trying to decide if I got taller again.”

John walked next to her, pulling himself up to his full height. “Hmm, you might have. Is that a bad thing?”

“Shortstack might think it is,” Lionel snorted. “She hasn’t gotten taller for three years.”

“Where is Sameen?” Joss asked looking around. “I thought you two would be glued together.”

Root fiddled with her tassel. “She’s being walked through the ceremony. I think Control is worried she’ll get bored and ruin it.”

“Sameen wouldn’t do that,” Zoe laughed. “She might not like the attention, but she’s not impulsive.”

“Yeah,” Root agreed, “but Control still thinks of her as the silent, angry girl from freshman year most of the time. You should hear the way she checks in with Sameen during soccer practice. She’s always reminding her about paperwork and stuff.”

Joss rolled her eyes. “Sameen is just better than Control and Control hates it. I bet Control will be calling her after you all start school.”

“Kids!” Mrs. Reese called from the entrance to the gym. “It’s time!”

Root took a breath and started back to the gym. Joss and Zoe hooked their arms through Root’s and pulled her along, making her laugh. When they were all spread out across the country, she would make sure they still talked. She’d need Joss and Zoe when things got rough with Sameen and Sameen would need John and Lionel.

They walked into the gym and Root looked toward the stage, spotting Sameen sitting on a chair next to Harold and Grace. She looked tiny in her large graduation gown and Root’s heart warmed. She couldn’t even be mad that Sameen had beaten her and claimed the title of Valedictorian. Salutatorian wasn’t too bad and it meant Root didn’t have to make a speech.

A few rows of chairs had been organized in front of the stage on the gym floor for the students and all the bleachers had been pulled out for the families and friends to sit on. It looked like a small concert was going to happen, there was even the small school band next to the stage, and Root realized that this might be the last image of the gym she’d ever have. She spotted other students gathered at the back of the gym and figured that was where they were getting set up.

Root waved goodbye to her group and headed for Mr. Ingram who had been tasked with getting the kids in alphabetical order. She stopped close to him, looking around. Her group had settled with the other families in the bleachers.

Mr. Ingram walked over to her and a small card that read “Samantha Groves.” Root frowned. Sometimes she forgot what her actual name was because no one called her that. Maybe this would be a good way to say goodbye to Bishop. She’d leave Samantha Groves behind.

“Ok,” Mr. Ingram sighed, looking at his clipboard, “you all know each other. Just…stand behind the right person.”

Root chuckled and slid into place behind Devon Grice. When they had all fallen in line, he waved towards the stage and Control appeared, stopping behind the wooden podium. Root leaned to the side so she could see the announcement.

“Hello, everyone,” Principal McCarthy started, “and welcome to the Bishop Senior High School graduation ceremony!”

Everyone clapped and Root smiled as Sameen begrudgingly clapped onstage. Her eyes landed on Root and Root waved at her. Sameen stuck her tongue out.

“Our band will play a song now,” Principal McCarthy continued, “and the graduates will walk to their seats.”

She gestured to the small band to the side of the stage and they began to play a song Root didn’t know. She rolled her eyes and straightened up. Of course, their band couldn’t just play that dumb Vitamin C song; they had to do something original.

As the line moved forward, Root suddenly felt nervous. Her stomach clenched and she tugged at her gown. This was it. She would never have expected to feel anything other than happy, but as Devon stepped forward and Root followed, her heart pounded with anticipation. This was the end of the life she’d always known and the beginning of something monumental.

There were only 50 or so kids in their class, so they found their seats fairly quickly. Root was in the middle, surrounded on all sides by her peers. She glanced over her shoulder to find Martine sitting beside an empty seat. That was were Sameen would sit once she gave her big speech. Control began to speak again and Root turned to face the front.

“We are all gathered here to celebrate the success of these graduating students,” Principal McCarthy said, smiling. “The teachers and I have watched them grow and mature over the past four years and it is with great pride we see them walk today. Before I had the stage over, I want to say a few words about our Valedictorian.”

Sameen slumped in her seat, raising a hand to cover her face. A laugh rippled through the crowd and Root grinned. Sameen looked so upset to be onstage and have this attention focused on her.

“This student came to our town four years ago. She was quiet, but smart, and amazing on the soccer field. She led our school to four consecutive Championship trophies and was top of her class for three out of her four years here. She has worked on most of our vehicles and attended every community event. Although she may not have been born within the boundaries of our town, she is truly an honor to our community. This year’s Valedictorian is Sameen Shaw.”

Control gestured to Sameen and everyone clapped. It made Root so happy to see Sameen stand behind the podium and be honored. Sameen had grown so much since they’d first met. Root remembered when all she did was exercise and sleep. Sameen would only say two words at a time and she was only nice to Root. Now, the whole gym was applauding for her.

“Uh, thanks,” Sameen said awkwardly. She adjusted her cap, looking over the seats. “I’m- If you know me, and, well, you all do, I guess, you know I’m not a big talker.” A laugh rippled through the gym. “Root, uh, looked over my notes, though. So…it should be ok.” She winced as everyone laughed again. “So, I moved here when I was 14, a couple of months after my mother died, and I was convinced that I was going to hate it. I thought that I’d hate this tiny town, and just,” she shrugged, “I figured I would bide my time, get good grades, and then just leave without a second thought. It didn’t happen the way that I expected it to.”

She looked up at Root and Root smiled back at her, trying to reassure her that she was doing well. Sameen’s hands tightened around the edges of the podium, but she kept going.

“I met some great people. Um, Root, obviously, and also John and Lionel and Zoe and Joss. I even made friends with Martine, which, wow. This place has taught me a lot, about…life and love and who I am and who I want to be. Mrs. Reese, my mom, changed my life. By adopting me, by being patient, by caring. She also taught me that being part of a community, knowing everyone’s number and helping the people who need help…It’s commendable. Bishop is a small place and, no offense, I’m so glad to be leaving for a little while, but it’s-“ She ran her eyes over the crowd, looking at all the people in the room. “It’s home. This place, and all of you, are home now. When I leave here, I’ll take you with me. I mean, I’m…literally taking Root, so…”

Root laughed, reaching up to wipe her eyes. Sameen wasn’t emotional, but Root was. It was hard to think about their time in high school without thinking about everything they’d been through and learned from. Root knew that Sameen did love this town. She definitely liked it more than Root did. Sameen would be the one to drag them back for holidays and force Root to come back and see everyone.

“I’ll wrap it up,” Sameen mumbled. “I just want to say that I learned more than just what was taught in the classroom. I thank you for that. There have been some rough times here, but I think there have been more good ones. I’m sure that we’ll continue going to Championships for many years to come and I hope for the best from future graduating classes. Thank you.”

Root jumped to her feet, clapping as loudly as she could. Around her, the other students stood, too, and the families in the bleachers. Sameen looked shocked, mouth slightly open. Root knew she hadn’t been expecting a response like this, but as much as Sameen talked about feeling like Bishop was home, the town felt like Sameen was one of them, too.

Sameen nodded sharply and hurried off the stage. She walked as fast as she could without running and took her seat next to Martine. Root turned around to wink at Sameen and laughed when Sameen just rolled her eyes back. Sameen was probably counting the minutes until this was all over and they could have dinner.

“Thank you, Miss Shaw,” Harold said from the podium. He raised his hands for quiet and, after a moment, everyone settled down and took their seats again. “I am going to read the names of the graduating students in alphabetical order. I know there aren’t many, but I’ll ask if you can hold your applause until the end.”

Root smiled softly. Even if other people’s families applauded for them, Root’s wouldn’t. She wouldn’t be surprised if Lionel or Zoe cheered once for her, but her group wasn’t going to hold up the ceremony. Her group wanted to eat dinner at a fancy restaurant in Corpus Christi. She watched the students in front of her stand and rose to her feet.

She followed her classmates as they wound their way to the stage with Harold calling their names. Glancing down at her card, she bit her lip. All of this felt so pointless. Someone was going to call her by the wrong name, she’d shake hands with a principal she might never see again, and then she’d take an awkward picture holding a blank diploma because they don’t even give you your real one until later.

Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, she watched as Devon gave Harold his card and walked past him to shake Control’s hand. Root glanced down at her card again and sighed, starting up the stairs. Looking up to see Harold beaming at her, Root couldn’t help but smiled back. She handed him her card, steeling herself for a name no one called her.

“Root!” Harold announced into the microphone.

Root was so surprised to hear Harold use her name that it took her a minute to realize that people were clapping. She looked out to see everyone applauding for her and she wasn’t sure what to do. Root had never really thought of herself as part of Bishop. She’d lived on the edge of town, she hadn’t had any friends, she only went to things because she went with Sameen.

Harold held his arms out to her and Root stepped into them, letting him hug her. “We’re all so happy for you, Root,” he said quietly. “You beat all the odds and you’re going to make this town so proud.”

Root sucked in a deep breath, pulling away to wipe her eyes. “I didn’t think anyone knew who I was.”

“You’re the first person from this town to go MIT,” Harold laughed. “Even if that wasn’t enough, you’ve been at the center of a lot of drama here. Us small town folks always know about those things. Not to mention, you’re half of Bishop’s only power couple. No, Root, everyone knows who you are.”

“Wow,” Root breathed, wiping her face again. “Weird time to find that out.”

Harold chuckled, tapping his cane on the floor. “Go on. Go graduate.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen tossed her duffel bag into RBG and sighed. “Does everyone really need to be here?”

“You think we’d let you leave without saying goodbye?” Lionel snorted. “No way, sis.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, but she smiled, thankful the early morning darkness hid her face. It was nice to see her friends and family before she and Root hit the road. They would spend two months driving around America, a trip carefully planned by Root, and then get to Boston a couple of weeks before school started. They’d chosen not to spend the months before college at home. Root needed to get out of Bishop and Sameen knew Bishop would still be there when they came back.

“Thanks for coming out so early,” Root said, voice still raspy from sleep. “I’m sure you wanted to sleep in on the weekend.”

Sameen turned around, looking over the people gathered on her front lawn. Mrs. Reese, Harold, Grace, Lionel, Gen, and the Reese-Carter-Morgans had come to say goodbye to them. Root stumbled forward, eyes half open, and practically fell forward onto John, trying to hug him. Sameen laughed at the uncomfortable look on John’s face, his hand clenched around Bear’s leash.

“Uh,” John stuttered, patting Root’s back, “No problem. I’m an early riser.”

“I’m not!” Gen complained loudly. She was in her pajamas, the legs rolled up so she could ride her bike. “Come hug me goodbye so I can go back to bed.”

Raising her eyebrows, Sameen hopped onto the curb and reached out for Gen, pulling her into her arms. “Be good,” Sameen said, sniffing. “Make sure your Captain by your junior year.”

“Wow, no pressure or anything.” Gen squeezed her tightly before pulling away. “Text me whenever Root does something dumb.”

“I will,” Sameen chuckled, ignoring Root’s grumbling. “Text me when Lionel does something dumb.”

Gen nodded and walked to Root. “You get one, too, Weirdo.”

“Aw, thanks.” Root pulled herself from John and hugged Gen. “Take care, Gen. Keep those boys scared.”

Gen laughed. She stepped back and waved to the group. “See you guys at Thanksgiving.”

Sameen watched her jump off the curb and climb onto her bike. Gen waved one last time over her shoulder as she kicked up her kickstand and then she took off, the sound of her tires rattling over the gravel street echoing in the silent air. Sameen wasn’t worried about Gen. Gen was resilient and unafraid; she’d be fine.

A loud sniffle made Sameen turn to look at Mrs. Reese. She was crying. Grace’s arms wrapped around her, comforting her. Looking at her, Sameen could tell she was upset to see them leave. Mrs. Reese had adopted them to keep John company, but they’d all become a family.

Sameen could admit that she’d miss Mrs. Reese, too. Unlike her parents, Sameen would see Mrs. Reese for holidays every year and maybe they’d spend time together just because they wanted to. All the coming and going would remind her to miss her new mom. Mrs. Reese had changed Sameen’s life for the better, forever. If Sameen couldn’t cry about it, then she was glad that Mrs. Reese could.

“Oh, mom,” Sameen sighed, closing the distance between them. “I’ll miss you, too.”

Mrs. Reese squeezed Sameen, knocking the air out of her. “Who said you could grow up so fast? I just met you!”

“I can’t breathe,” Sameen wheezed. “If you kill me now, you’ll never see me again!”

Mrs. Reese let her go, stepping back and wiping her face. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just tired. You guys have to call me at least once a week over the summer and send postcards!”

“We will,” Root assured her. She had her arms wrapped around Harold’s shoulders. “We’ll send all of you postcards and souvenirs and call you all the time.”

“Good,” Grace said, smiling. She wrapped her arms around Mrs. Reese again. “Be safe! Your stuff should be in your apartment when you get there. We hired a moving company. Look out for some cute furniture pieces. We may have bought you some stuff.”

Sameen thanked her, moving to the Reese-Carter-Morgans. Zoe threw her arms around Sameen, almost choking her with enthusiasm. Sameen didn’t mind, though. She liked Zoe and Joss. They’d been instrumental in her getting together with Root and Sameen would never be able to thank them enough.

“I can’t believe you’re going so far away!” Zoe cried. “You have to come to Dallas during the summer for Pride!”

“Ok,” Sameen choked out, trying to pull away. “We’ll try our best.”

“Don’t kill her,” Joss laughed. “Let me hug her, too.”

With one last squeeze, Zoe let go. She smiled softly and punched Sameen’s chest. “Don’t be afraid to reach out. When Root gets to be too much.”

“Hey!” Root protested lightly shoving Zoe. “What about when Sameen gets to be too much?”

“Well, you can call me, too.” Zoe laughed. “Both of you can call me. At the same time even! We could Skype!”

Sameen rolled her eyes as Root cheered and looked at Joss. Joss had been her mentor just as much as Mrs. Reese had. Joss was Vice-Captain and then Captain of the soccer team. She had scolded Sameen when she was being dumb and always given solid advice. If Sameen was being honest, she’d probably call Joss before she called Zoe.

“Come here,” Joss sighed, holding her arms out.

Chuckling, Sameen stepped into them, Joss’s strong arms circling her. She looked at the sky, noticing the way the light had changed. Soft pinks and oranges reflected off the clouds as the sun started to rise. It was time to go and she still had to say goodbye to John and Lionel.

Sameen pulled away from Joss. “See you around.”

“Be good,” Joss ordered her, pointing a finger at her face. “Talk to your girlfriend and go to your classes.”

“Thanks, mom,” Sameen replied.

She walked over to John, her sneakers sliding slightly in the dewy grass. “I’m not going to hug you,” she told John, offering him a fist. “I’d fight you if it wasn’t 5am.”

John bumped her fist with his own and reached out to ruffle her hair. “Keep working out. Maybe you’ll actually be able to beat me at some point.”

“Fuck you,” Sameen snorted. “I could kick your ass right here right now.”

John shrugged. “And yet, you aren’t going to. It’s fine. Coward.”

Sameen narrowed her eyes, debating whether she wanted to rise to his challenge. She decided against it. It was too early and she didn’t want to be sweaty when they hit the road. Even this early, the Texas heat was making her hair stick to her neck.

“I’ll let it slide,” she said slowly. “But I won’t forget this. I’ll beat you up at Thanksgiving.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” he replied, sounding sincere.

Sameen was thankful for John’s patience over the years. He always gave her space, but he was good at talking her off the ledge, too. She remembered Halloween night when Root was still absent. He’d taken her to the gym to talk. She really had missed him this past year and she’d probably miss him more now that they weren’t only two hours apart.

All of this was getting to be overwhelming, so she moved on to Lionel and gave him a quick high five. “Stay cool, little bro,” she said, smiling. “Let me know if you need any workout tips.”

“I think I’ll be fine,” he answered, rolling his eyes. “I still have your chart.”

“Good.” She nodded, reaching out to ruffle his hair. “Good luck with your lacrosse tryouts next year.”

Sameen looked over her shoulder at Root, who was still talking to Zoe and Joss. Glancing at her watch, she knew they needed to hit the road. They wanted to be in Louisiana by early afternoon. Stomping across the grass, she laid her hand on Root’s arm.

“Ready?” She asked, taking in Root’s watery eyes. “Say goodbye to Lionel. I’ll start the car.”

Root nodded, adjusting the straps of her overalls. “Yeah, ok.”

Sameen took Bear’s leash from John, reaching down to scratch his head as they walked to the car. Pulling her keys from her pocket, she stopped in front of the door to the backseat. Sliding her key into the lock, she remembered getting this car, being sixteen and wanting nothing more than freedom and Root. She remembered the day she got it. She’d come out to Root at the Dairy Queen in Corpus Christi.

Blinking, she pulled open her door and waited for Bear to jump inside. He walked around the bed they’d set up in the back, sniffing their food cooler and pawing at the string lights. It would be interesting to roadtrip for almost three months with a dog, but Bear was well-trained and Root had to stop all the time to pee anyway.

Mrs. Reese had offered to take care of Bear while Root and Sameen were away at school, but Sameen couldn’t even imagine leaving him behind. She had raised him since he was a baby, since they’d found him in the gutter after the hurricane. He was her dog and she was going to take care of him forever.

Closing the door again, she moved to her own seat, opening the door and dropping inside. The seat covers they’d bought two years ago were slightly worn, the fabric beneath Shaw’s thighs almost sheer. Maybe she’d find some new ones on the trip. She started the car, the familiar hum as the AC kicked on comforting. She reached across the armrest to unlock Root’s door.

Settling in her seat, she took a moment to breathe. Sameen wasn’t emotional, but she could realize this was a life-changing moment. They were heading off to travel America and then start college at two of the best schools in the country. It was a lot, but she had faith in them.

Root’s door opened and Sameen shook her head, coming back into the present. She buckled her seatbelt as Root climbed in and shut her door. Their roadtrip mixtape played quietly as Sameen closed her door and rolled down her window. The sun was creeping over the top of the houses around them and she pulled her alien sunglasses out.

Taking a moment to look out her window, she smiled at her family. It had been a long four years, but she wouldn’t didn’t know who she’d be if they hadn’t happened. What would she have become with her brothers and Root?

“Goodbye,” she said out the window, waving for the last time. “See you later.”

Mrs. Reese wiped her eyes with her hands, crying even harder. “I love you two! Be safe!”

“We love you, too!” Root screamed across Sameen, waving frantically. “Thanks for everything!”

Sameen turned the wheel, pulling away from the curb. The crunch of tires on the street was loud in the early morning as Sameen headed out of town. Beside her Root was staring out her own window at the houses she’d known all her life. It must feel weird for Root to leave, but Sameen knew Root was happy.

“We’re really leaving,” Root breathed, looking at Sameen. “I made it out of Bishop.”

“You knew you would,” Sameen said, hitting the gas. “You were never going to stay.”

Root sighed. “I know, but…It’s really happening. My mother didn’t stop me. I…I graduated, I got into MIT, I have parents who care, and…” She put her hand over Sameen’s on the gear shift. “And I have you.”

“Come hell or high water, Root. You’ve got me.”

Root grinned, eyes watering again. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, nerd.” Sameen nodded to Root’s window. “You going to say goodbye?”

Nodding, Root took her hand away, turning away to roll down her window. Sameen slowed down a little bit, keeping an eye on the Bishop Town Line sign. Once Root’s window was down, she took her seatbelt off, shifting onto her feet, so she could lean out the window. Reaching across the space between them, Sameen hooked her fingers onto Root’s back pocket, flashing back to all the other times she had to keep Root from jumping out the open window.

As the drove past the sign, Root smacked her hand against it, the clang filling the air. It was immediately drowned out by Root’s victory scream. Her arms stretched to the sky as the raced out of Bishop at towards their future. Sameen wasn’t sure what that future held, but as Root dropped back onto her seat and grinned at her, Sameen knew they’d face it together.

“Come on, Sameen,” Root yelled, turning up the radio. “Let’s see what’s out there!”


	62. An Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One year ago to the day, I started this story, basing it off a picture and a small headcanon. I didn't expect to finish and I certainly didn't expect it to become as popular as it has. It's been a crazy ride, but I'm so glad to have ridden it.
> 
> I'd like to thank FuzzyLogic, SpiceCheese, Hufflepufflovespizza, and CanadianWheatPirates, without whom this story would not have been possible.
> 
> I'd also like to thank all of you. Some of you have been here from the beginning and some of you won't read this until it's marked complete. I thank you all.

Sameen slowed to a stop in front of her house, throwing the car into park behind Joss’ fancy Range Rover. They’d driven from New York, taking a week to make the two day drive. The Reese-Carter-Morgans and Lionel had arrived together the day before, their drive from Dallas much shorter.

Turning the car off, Sameen groaned as the warm November air filled the car. “It’s so hot,” she complained. “I hate Texas.”

Root laughed, rolling her eyes as she unbuckled her seat belt. “You’re such a baby. It gets just as hot in New York in the summer.”

“Yeah, but it’s November now,” Sameen continued whining. She unbuckled her own seatbelt and reached into the back seat to grab her duffel bag. “Remember the snow we left behind? Oh man, remember when I went to med school at Stanford and it never got above 80? Those were the days.”

“Get over it, babe,” Root said, opening her door and stepping out into the bright sunlight. She ducked down to stick her head back in the car. “You married a Texan.”

“Gross,” Sameen mumbled, climbing out of the car. “The marriage part, not the Texas part.”

They’d been married for nine years now, since the Christmas between their 30th birthdays, and it was still weird sometimes, to think about them being wives. Sameen never thought she’d get married, but Root had gotten really sick one year and the only reason Sameen had been allowed to stay with her was because she worked in the hospital. After that, Sameen had proposed and they’d gone back to Bishop to get married. Now, it felt normal to call Root her wife.

She squinted through her aviators to Harold’s house. It didn’t look like anything had changed since last year, but Sameen always check to see if they’d painted their house something besides that awful light blue. Shutting her door, she walked around the front of her car to stand beside Root and looked up at the house.

“Are the shutters different?” Root asked, sticking her hands into the pockets of her overalls. “Weren’t they blue?”

“Huh,” Sameen said, shrugging. “Were they? I like the white.”

The front door opened and Lionel stuck his head out. He disappeared back into the house for a second before opening the door fully and starting towards them. Sameen smiled, adjusting her grip on the bag, and followed Root up the walkway.

“Lionel!” Root greeted him, holding her arms out. “You look great! Can’t even tell you were shot!”

“That was three years ago, Root,” Lionel responded gruffly, giving her a quick hug. “If you could still tell, then I’d be worried. You’re as tall as ever.”

“Taller,” Sameen said, leaning around Root to scowl at Lionel. “She’s taller.”

Lionel just snorted and released Root to hug Shaw. She patted his back with her free hand and pulled away. Lionel did look good. His job as a detective in Dallas was keeping him fit and Sameen knew from John that he was keeping up his workout regimen.

“Hello!” Mrs. Reese welcomed them from the doorway. “Are you going to come in or are we eating Thanksgiving on the lawn?”

Root opened her mouth, but Mrs. Reese cut her off with a finger and a pointed look.

“Don’t,” she ordered, her grey hair adding authority to her already intimidating presence. “Taylor already tried it.”

Root just huffed and continued up the walkway. Chuckling, Sameen picked up her step to catch up.

“Congrats,” Sameen said, smirking. “Your jokes are on par with a sixteen year old’s.”

“The people at work like my jokes,” Root pouted. She started climbing the porch steps. “They think I’m hilarious.”

Sameen smiled at her mother as she passed her and walked into the house. “That’s because you work at NASA and everyone who works at NASA is a huge nerd.”

“Did I hear ‘nerds’?” Zoe’s voice asked a second before she walked out of the kitchen. “Oh, the Shaws are here.”

Root hugged her as Sameen moved to the stairs, dropping her bag on a low step. Zoe looked great, her lawyer life suiting her. She and Joss had graduated from Harvard Law together while John worked as a police officer. They’d moved back to Dallas when they graduated. Sameen couldn’t figure out why, but she liked that her whole family was within a day’s drive.

Taylor jogged out of the kitchen and came over to Sameen. She let him hug her for a second before pushing him away.

“When did you get so tall?”

“Last summer,” Joss answered for him, leaning against the kitchen doorway. “He went through five pairs of sneakers this year. I think he might end up taller than you, Root.”

“Sorry, Auntie,” Taylor apologized to Sameen. “The tall gene must have skipped you and Uncle Lionel.”

“Don’t get cute,” Lionel grunted. “I’ll arrest you for sass.”

“Careful, Lionel,” John warned, appearing behind Shaw as he walked out of the living room. “You’ll talk him out of being a cop.”

Mrs. Reese hummed happily. “Taylor has options. He can be a lawyer like his mothers, a detective like his father and uncle, a surgeon and professor like Sameen, or an astronomical engineer like Root.”

“Or I could study something else?” Taylor asked. “What if I want to be a real estate mogul?”

“Well,” Root assured him, “we’ll love you no matter what. I did bring some good books, though. Have you watched those X-Files DVDs I sent you?”

A few hours later, they made their way to their old clubhouse, still there years later. Root had stepped into the kitchen and something had caught on fire and so they had been banned from the house until dinner time. Sameen wasn’t sure how Root was still so disastrous in the kitchen, but she couldn’t really complain. Sameen hadn’t done dishes in years.

They got to the train as the sun was beginning to set. When they climbed inside, none of the lights came on and Root crossed the train to look at Scully. Sameen spotted something shiny under the bed and dropped onto her stomach, reaching underneath to grab an empty beer bottle.

“If those kids are going to use our train, they should learn to be respectful.” She spotted another bottle and pulled it out, lifting it into the air. “Ooh, whiskey. Nice to know Elias still has a thriving business.”

“Probably his sons,” Root muttered, distracted. “If those kids fucked up Scully, I’m going to kill them.”

“Can’t kill children,” Sameen sighed. She stood up, groaning as her knees popped. “God, I’m getting old.”

Root looked over her shoulder, dragging her eyes over Sameen’s body. Her eyes lingered on bare legs before jumping up to Sameen’s bare midriff. “Hot, though. A hot, crop top wearing grandmother.”

“You’re turning forty first,” Sameen shot back. She opened the whiskey bottle. “You’re so old you can’t fix your childhood AI.”

“I’m going onto the roof,” Root announced, ignoring Sameen’s remarks. “Maybe it’s the solar panel.”

Sameen watched her cross to the open train car door and slip out of her shoes. Root’s shorts made her legs look miles long, lean and muscular. Root had odd hours at work and, sometimes, she’d join Sameen at the NYU gym, their employee passes giving them access 24/7. Sameen didn’t always enjoy teaching med students, but she did enjoy the perks.

Root stretched a leg out of the car, finding the built-in ladder with her foot and swinging herself out. She climbed up and a moment later there was a loud clatter on the roof. Sameen took a drink and turned to look over the room.

A lot had changed since they’d shut the door after prom. The kids that came out here had put up posters of their own, new alien movies and really old ones that even Sameen hadn’t heard of. Someone had graffitied “I WANT TO BELIEVE” on the outside of the car.

Sameen had a sneaking suspicion Gen had done it the year she’d come back to care for her father, but Sameen wasn’t going to ask. It added to the general ambience and, years later, it had faded enough to almost seem part of the original train. Sameen took another drink and looked up at the Edison bulbs that hug from the ceiling.

They were still the original bulbs and they still worked. Well, they usually worked. Sameen hoped Root could fix the power before the sunset. She remembered how pitch black it got out here at night.

As if her thoughts had fixed them, the lights flicked for a moment before coming on. She took another drink and moved to the stacks of books lining the walls. Running her free hand over the stacks of well-read lesbian novels, she noticed something crammed behind the old boom box. Looking closer, she realized it was a photo album.

A thump behind her made Sameen look over her shoulder. A warped cardboard box was on the floor. She watched Root climb back into the car, closing the bottle in her hands. Root started tying her hair up into a ponytail, slightly out of breath.

“They covered the panel,” she snorted. “I should leave a note saying it’s waterproof.”

“Let them figure it out,” Sameen replied, setting the bottle on the boombox. “I found a photo album.”

“Oh, yeah?” Root crossed the room, her bare feet silent on the shag carpet. “What’s in it?”

Sameen pulled the photo album out and flipped it open. Over her shoulder, Root gasped. The album was full of polaroids, the small cards yellowing around the edges. Root’s arms wrapped around Sameen’s shoulders and she leaned her head down as they looked through it.

“It’s our first roadtrip,” Root breathed. She pointed a finger at one photo. “That’s the motel where we lost our virginity.”

“You remember that?” Sameen asked, skeptical. “I bet you just liked the neon sign.”

“Of course I remember our first time, Sameen.” Root pressed a kiss to Sameen’s temple. “I also remember our first kiss and the first time you said ‘I love you.’”

Sameen turned another page. “I don’t.”

Root squeezed Sameen, lightly nipping at her ear. “It was right after you caught Hanna kissing me.”

“Ugh.”

“Exactly,” Root laughed. “You ran off, to this train actually, and I followed and you were crying and I was crying and-“

“I remember,” Sameen relented. She shut the photo album and turned in Root’s arms. “I remember being young and stupid.”

“We were so stupid,” Root laughed. “Straight As and still dumb as a box of rocks.”

Sameen kissed Root, their lips sliding against each other like they had a thousand times before. Kissing Root was always exciting, even after all this time. An electric thrill ran down Sameen’s back and she dropped the album, wrapping her arms around Root and pulling her close. Root’s hands tangled in her hair, tugging sharply.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” Sameen gasped into Root’s mouth. “It’s almost dinner.”

Root grinned, mouth trailing across Sameen’s cheek to her throat. “Then we’d better get started.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

‘Baleen whales migrate incredibly long distances each year,’ the tv said, ‘from their cold-water feeding grounds to their warm-water breeding grounds.’

“Do we have to watch this?” Sameen sighed, pulling her blanket over her. “A documentary about whales, Root? Really?”

Root pulled her spoon out of her mouth. “It’s my birthday, Sameen,” she mumbled around a mouthful of ice cream. “I decide what we do.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, but she looked back at the tv. Root took another spoonful of ice cream and settled further into the sofa. They were at hanging out at Harold’s house. Root didn’t want a big birthday celebration, so they were all gathered in the living room watching tv. Beside her, Joss was eating crackers.

“You know, Root,” Joss started, “you aren’t going to eat like that forever. Eventually, all that ice cream will catch up with you.”

“You say that, but I turned 40 today and I’m the same size as I was at 17.” She shrugged. “I’m going to be fine.”

Zoe sighed from the loveseat. “I wish I could eat like that. I look at a cake and lose muscle definition.”

“You look fine,” John said, throwing his arm over her shoulder. “Good, even.”

“My husband the flatterer,” Zoe laughed.

Root ate her last bite of ice cream and leaned forward to put her bowl on the coffee table. She stood up, stretching with a groan. Despite the fact that eating ice cream didn’t make her gain weight, Root knew that her body had changed. It wasn’t as easy to run around the city as it was ten years ago, but she was still doing ok. Sameen kept her in shape.

“I’m going up to my room,” Root announced, glancing at the clock on the wall. “It’s getting late. Thank you all for a wonderful fortieth. See you tomorrow.”

A chorus of ‘good night’ followed her out of the living room and she started for the staircase, knowing that Sameen was behind her. Harold’s house had never really come to feel like home, but Root was comfortable there. She only spent three weeks a year there and her bedroom hadn’t changed since she’d gone off to college. It was a nice snapshot of the tail end of her childhood.

She was halfway up the stairs when Sameen caught up with her, taking her hand and threading their fingers together. The upstairs hallway was dark, Harold and Grace already in bed. Root lead them to her room, pushing open the door and stepping into the pink glow of her string lights.

“I should take those down,” Root said thoughtfully. “Although, they have grown on me.”

Sameen released her hand and crossed the room, dropping onto the bed. “Just leave them.”

“Ok.” Root adjusted the waistband of her pajama pants. “Outside?”

“Yeah,” Sameen responded, turning to sit on her knees. She started crawling for the window. “We have to be quiet, though. Don’t want mom and dad to catch us.”

Root laughed, walking to the bed and kneeling onto it. “Don’t want to be grounded for Christmas.”

“Heaven forbid,” Sameen snorted.

She slid the window open, a warm breeze blowing through her tanktop. Root watched her stick her head out and look around, trying to gain her bearings. Their apartment in New York had a fire escape that was easy to climb. They knew the stars above their city home by heart. Root could draw them from memory at any time of the year.

Sameen finally decided she was ready and stuck a leg through the window, groaning as she ducked underneath it and out into the warm December air. Root scooted across the bed, climbing out head first and pulling her longs legs out after her. She took Sameen’s offered hands and stood up.

“That used to be easier,” Root commented, brushing her hands on her shirt. “Maybe we should work out more.”

“We work out enough,” Sameen answered, turning to climb the short distance to the top of the house. “You need to stop eating like a child.”

Root pouted, following Sameen up. “I like my diet. Besides, it’s not like we do this all the time.”

Sameen rolled her eyes, but the corners of her lips turned up and she smiled at Root before sitting down. Root sat carefully, the shingles cold through her thin, cotton pants. She sighed, wrapping her arms around her knees and looking down at the street. Below them, the front door opened, the sound stretching into the street. A moment later, their family walked out, heading for Sameen’s house.

“I’m forty,” Root said quietly. “It’s kind of amazing.”

Sameen looked at her, head tilting. “To be so old?”

“Yeah. I think I expected to be dead by now.” Root scratched her nose. “I know that’s morbid, but being back here always reminds me of my mom, you know? I don’t think I expected to still exist. When I was younger, I couldn’t imagine a future like this.”

“Like what?”

Root took a deep breath and rested her head on her knees, looking at Sameen. “We live in a great apartment in New York City and I work for NASA studying astrobiology and I’m married to the most wonderful, weird woman on the planet.”

“Hey!” Sameen laughed, jokingly insulted. She lightly punched Root’s shoulder. “Don’t forget who drove us here.”

“I’m rich enough to fly anywhere in the world,” Root continued, grinning. “It’s a good life, Sameen. That’s what I’m saying. I didn’t expect to be so happy. Did you?”

Sameen shook her head, leaning back on her hands. She dropped her head back, ponytail brushing the shingles. “I don’t think so. I thought we’d fall out of love or something eventually.”

“We did have that rough patch while I was getting my PhD,” Root pointed out.

Sameen bared her teeth. “If I see that bitch again, I will actually kill her. I could do it. I could find a gun.”

“Calm down, Rambo,” Root laughed, reaching out to pat Sameen’s knee. “We’re not exactly criminal masterminds.”

Sameen took a deep breath and Root could tell she was silently counting to ten. They didn’t talk about their rough times too often, but it didn’t really matter. They always came back strong, maybe even stronger. Root looked up at the sky, eyes searching for their constellation. She pointed to the right.

“Orion,” she said softly. “Remember the first time we stargazed together? God, it was what? Twenty five years ago?”

“Amazing,” Sameen murmured. “We are so old.”

Root laughed loudly, the sound carrying over the empty street. She saw John turn to look at them, the last one to walk into the house. He waved and Sameen and Root waved back. They watched him disappear into the house and felt the silent night settle over them. Root ran her fingers over the inside of her wrist, where her tattoo of Orion’s constellation was.

“Are we ever going to have children?” Root asked. “I don’t know if I want to.”

Sameen shrugged, stretching a hand between them to brush Root’s hair behind her ear. “We don’t have to. I like our life. You and Me. Maybe we can get another dog. It’s been a while since Bear passed away.”

“Yeah,” Root breathed, leaning into Sameen’s hand. “A big dog. One you can race and I can nap with.”

“Speaking of naps,” Sameen grumbled, slapping her knees, “I think it’s bed time.”

Root pushed herself onto her feet, glancing down at Sameen. “Do you want to-“

“No.” Sameen glared at her as she stood up. “We are not having sex in Harold’s house. I hate it so much. You try this every year, but it’s never going to happen.”

“What about-“

“Root,” Sameen huffed, “we are too old to be having sex in cars. We’ll survive the night.”

“Fine,” Root sighed. “But you’re the big spoon tonight.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“No, Cole,” Sameen stuttered. “Oh my god, stop talking. Are you listening? Ok, go to the file cabinet in the back corner…No, the other corner. It’s- oh my god.”

Root smiled, spinning slowly in her rolling chair. Sameen was sitting on her bed, talking to her assistant back at NYU. He some new guy who was too in love with her to learn anything. Once, he’d literally stabbed himself while sharpening pencils because Sameen had ridden her bike to work ad walked into the office sweaty and half-naked. Root couldn’t really blame him; she’d dropped a number of things over the years. 

Today was the ten year anniversary of their marriage, but they'd decided to ignore it. Spending Christmas with their family was more important and they'd been together so long that celebrating this seemed silly. Maybe they'd celebrate fifty years together when they were in their sixties. That would be a milestone to commemorate.

“No, Cole, I swear to God- Not that!” Sameen glared at Root, her knuckles white around her phone case. “Back right corner. Top drawer. Labeled ‘Masters’.”

Root chuckled, putting a hand on the desk to stop her spinning. They were waiting to hear from Martine. After opening their Christmas presents at 8am, the family had split hip. John and his girls had taken their parents and Taylor to Corpus Christi to see a movie ad Lionel had gone to meet up with old friends of his own.

Her phone buzzed on the desk and she picked it up, glancing over at Sameen as she started yelling again. The message was from Martine; she’d just arrived at their house. Root stood up, sliding her phone into her pocket and crossing the room to stand in front of Sameen.

‘Martine is here,’ she signed. ‘Meet us downstairs when you’re done.’

Sameen rolled her eyes, signing back with one hand. ‘If this idiot ever gets his shit together.’

Root laughed, walking out of the room. The house was quiet with everyone gone and her footsteps were loud on the staircase. It was always disorienting to be in this house. The rooms were filled with memories and, as she crossed the entryway to the door, Root thought she could hear the click of Bear’s nails on hard wood.

She unlocked the door, pulling it open with a smile. Martine stood in the doorway, looking sharp in her suit. None of them had been surprised when Martine went into business, her temperament perfect for ordering underlings around. Martine smiled tightly.

“Hello,” she greeted Root. “May I come in?”

Root rolled her eyes and stepped aside. “What would you do if I said no to that? Stand outside?”

“I’d push past you,” Martine said, walking in. “The greeting is reflexive, but I know you too well to care about the answer.”

“Gee, thanks,” Root snorted. She shut the door, not bothering to lock it again. “How’s your husband?”

Martine looked at Root, her face unreadable. “I killed him.”

“Finally!” Sameen called from the top of the stairs. “He deserved it.”

“He did.”

Root glanced between them, not sure if they were joking. Martine was always impossible to read and Sameen was grinning as she came down the stairs. Their friendship was so weird to Root. Martine was rude and Sameen cracked jokes and Root just pretended like it was normal.

“What’s the plan?” Martine asked them. “Ice cream? The arcade? Some other attempt to recapture our childhood?”

Root rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. “We were going to drop by the high school, but if you’re going to be like that we can do something else.”

“No,” Martine sighed, “let’s go to the school. I wonder if your pictures are still in the awards cabinet.”

“The mayor wants to give me a key to the city,” Sameen boasted, moving to the door. “For my continued dedication and patronage.”

She pulled open the door and stepped out into the warm, late December air. Root followed outside, squinting into the sun. Root knew that back in NYC, it was a chilly -23 and she was glad for the heat. It was nice to have seasons, but Root was a Texas girl. She preferred the heat. Sameen’s words finally registered with her and she turned to scowl at her.

“Hey! The money comes from our joint bank account!” Root stomped down the sidewalk to the car. “She could honor both of us.”

“Sure,” Sameen shrugged, “but she knows that I’m a neurosurgeon and you listen for aliens all day.”

“That’s a bit simplistic.”

Martine chuckled. “Is it though?”

“Look,” Sameen said, pulling her keys out, “when your Christmas bonus buys them a new gymnasium, I’ll let you have the key.”

“Whatever,” Root muttered, not really upset.

“I can’t believe you still drive this hunk of junk,” Martine said, derisively. “It was old when you got it.”

Sameen ran a reverent hand over RBG. “This baby is 45 years old and still in peak condition. I don’t get to get my hands dirty too often anymore, but I love this working on this car. Root helped me upgrade her. She has Bluetooth capabilities, surround sound, anything you could want.”

She slid her key into the door and Root laughed.

“Everything, but automatic locks. She won’t let me touch them.”

“It’s for the aesthetic,” Martine said, waiting for Sameen to open the door and unlock the backseat. “There’s something satisfying about sliding your key into a lock and opening it manually.”

“Yes!” Sameen agreed before dropping into the car. “Thank you.”

Martine rolled her eyes. “I was making fun of you, idiot. Get a new car.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen stared up at the dim New Year’s ball, hands buried in the pockets of her NYU jacket. It was ten minutes to midnight and Sameen was starting to worry that the ball wasn’t going to drop. The town had been using the same mechanism since they first started the tradition her senior year. Harold had come to get Root a few minutes ago to see if she could fix the crane.

Looking around, Sameen spotted Gen talking to Lionel and wandered over, enjoying the cooler night. Gen’s wild hair was pulled back in a braid, the long blonde rope hanging down her back. She was taller than Sameen now, though not by much. Root loved to bring it up, though.

“Hey,” Sameen said, stopping next to them. “I didn’t know you’d be here. You could have roadtripped with us.”

Gen put her hands on her hips. “And listened to the two of you bicker over Gerard Way? No thanks.”

“You listen to that all the time, anyway.”

“Not stuck in a car with you two lunatics,” Gen snorted. “No, listening to you two at dinner is enough.”

Lionel laughed, looking between them. “You guys get dinner a lot?”

Sameen rolled her eyes. “We have a standing weekly dinner, but she always shows up whenever she wants.”

“Only because I know you’ll be up!” Gen defended. “Root’s always up late doing weird, alien stuff. I would never have caught that stalker if she hadn’t helped me.”

Sameen sniffed disdainfully, but she was just being contrary. She liked spending time with Gen in the city and she was glad to have a friend so close. Root and Gen still had a tumultuous relationship, sometimes glued together and sometimes enemies. Sameen couldn’t keep up, so she had declared herself Switzerland and was allowed to stay out of it. Besides, Gen’s private investigator work was interesting and she’d even let Sameen come out on stakeouts a few times.

Root cheered from across the park and Sameen turned to look. The ball was glowing now, brighter than the full moon. Sameen sighed.

“Great, now she’s going to be obnoxious all night.”

“Oh my god,” Gen gasped, staring in the opposite direction. “Is that Control’s daughter?”

Sameen followed her gaze, eyes landing on a beautiful brunette standing beside Principal McCarthy. She didn’t know the Principal’s daughter very well, she’d still been in middle school when Sameen graduated. She was hot, though, and for a brief moment, Sameen considered talking to her, but she shot the thought down as soon as it came.

She and Root had tried to have an open relationship for a while and it had worked…for a while. It got to be too much, one overzealous partner and Sameen had almost lost everything. So, they’d closed their relationship again and Sameen was fine with that.

Over the years, she kept expecting them to fall apart. Would it happen when they spent time outside of Bishop? No. Would it happen under the stress of graduate school and residency? No. Would it happen when one of them got wrapped up in someone else? No.

It never happened. Sameen never fell out of love and Root never wanted to leave for long. They were together forever and Sameen was thankful. Every morning she woke up next to Root was a blessing and it still felt so dumb and so cheesy, but it was real. Even through the fog of half-formed emotions, Sameen knew it was true.

“Babe!” Root called, pulling Sameen back into the present. “I fixed it!”

Sameen looked up, spotting Root running towards her. She took a few large steps forward, catching Root in her arms and crashing their mouths together. Root’s surprised gasp was muffled by Sameen’s eager lips and her hands flew up to grab Sameen’s lapels.

Her tongue slipping out to brush Root’s lip, Sameen held her tighter, getting lost in the feel of Root, firm under her hands. She had every inch of Root’s body memorized from years of study, but as her hand came up to tangle in Root’s curls, Sameen still felt like everything was new. Root’s mouth under her own was soft and perfect and she swallowed Root’s quiet moan.

Around them, Sameen heard the countdown start and she tried to pull away, knowing Root loved a celebration, but Root held her close, not letting her get away. One of Root’s hands found it’s way under Sameen’s jacket, then under her shirt. Root’s long, cool fingers pressed into Sameen’s back, making her feel stable on the eve of a new year.

Root’s nails dug into Sameen’s lower back, making her arch and gasp and want so much more. Suddenly, Root’s lips disappeared and Sameen’s eyes blinked open as she tried to reorient herself. The sound of cheering filled her ears and she realized that midnight had passed while they were kissing.

She stared up at Root’s eyes, mouth throbbing, and watched as Root’s lips tilted up into a smile.

“I’d suggest getting out of here, but someone is very particular about where we have sex in this town.”

“I love you,” Sameen said, trying to sound as sincere as possible. “So much. Forever. I mean it.”

Root pressed a quick kiss to Sameen’s lips. “I love you, too. For as long as I can.” Her head tilted to the side. “Which is starting to look like forever.”

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Sameen climbed out of the pool, laughing. “It’s not your fault I’m still faster than you at forty. I guess I just carried it with more dignity.”

“Shut up,” Root laughed, climbing up steps. “You’re not even a month younger than me. I carry forty just fine.”

Sameen turned around to look at Root, eyes lingering on her body as she emerged from the water. “I think you carry it more than fine.”

Root rolled her eyes, crossing the tiled floor to where their towels sat on a table. Their family was inside cooking dinner, getting ready to celebrate Sameen’s fortieth birthday and, like on Thanksgiving, they’d been banned from the kitchen. Root still held out hope that she’d learn to cook one day, but it didn’t seem like it was going to happen.

She picked her towel up, leaning forward to dry off her hair. It had been a nice trip this year, no major fighting, no one was in a rough relationship spot. Before Taylor was born, when the Reese-Carter-Morgans were still trying to figure their future out, Root and Sameen had left before New Year’s. Listening to the three of them argue over who was going to legally marry who and who was going to get pregnant was too much.

They had ended up flying to Dallas the next spring to watch Zoe and John get legally married at city hall. Nine months later, Taylor had been born and Zoe had adopted him as a step-parent. Root made a mental note to help Lionel find a girlfriend.

“Ready to go back inside?” Sameen asked. “If you’re scared of the kitchen, you can stand out in the hallway.”

Root straightened up, wrapping her towel around her body. “Very funny, but yes, I’m ready.”

Sameen winked at her, twisting her hair into her towel. She led the way into the house, opening the door for Root and shutting it behind them. “I’m not opposed to the idea of automatic locks on Ruth. I just like the key part.”

“You can still manually unlock cars with automatic locks,” Root pointed out, following the sound of conversation down the hall. “But once you were inside, you could unlock all the doors instead of having to stretch.”

“I guess,” Sameen whined, wrinkling her nose. “I’ll think about it.”

“You’ve been thinking about it for years.”

Root turned to the right, walking into the kitchen and sniffing dramatically. “Wow! It smells amazing in here.”

“Root, I swear to god,” Joss started, pointing a large knife at her, “if this food catches on fire, I will kill you in front of my child. I don’t even care.”

“She means it,” Taylor said from his spot at the table. “She’s in a mood.”

John snorted. “Only because a certain young boy won’t stop pestering her.”

“Ooh,” Sameen cooed, leaning on the island. “Pestering her about what?”

She reached for a dinner roll and Zoe slapped her hand away.

“He keeps asking questions about our childhood,” Zoe told her, “like he always does when we’re home.”

Root hopped up onto the counter, her heels banging against the cabinet doors. She grinned at Taylor. “What’s your question this year?”

“How did you and Auntie get together?” he asked. “Was it like right after you met? Or did it take a while?”

“Well, I would say-“

“No,” Sameen cut her off, turning to glare at Root. “I’m going to tell this story. Whenever someone asks, you launch into some super cheesy monologue. No thank you.”

Root rolled her eyes. “Oh please, your version is so cut and dry! Boring!”

“Root,” Sameen said, scoffing, “I just tell the truth. Plain and simple.”

“There is no plain and simple, Sameen.” Root leaned forward, her elbows resting on her knees. She looked around the room, taking in her family and the love of her life. “It’s all very complicated. After all, the truth is a vast thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's over! I am very emotional atm
> 
> If you'd like to follow my next story, Chapter 1 is already up! Here is the link:  
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/14142843/chapters/32593764
> 
> If you'd like to follow me on tumblr, you should! Here is the link:  
> Maybesomedaysameen.tumblr.com
> 
> If you'd like to support a very tired, graduate student, I'd really appreciate it. Here is the link:  
> https://ko-fi.com/maybesomeday

**Author's Note:**

> Feed back is always appreciated!


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